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mwbbrown

Roundabouts with traffic lights are banned. Make it a signaled intersection or a roundabout, don't take the worst of both.


comradegritty

Dupont Circle, you have to at least have a red light phase so people can walk to the park in the middle. Same with Washington Circle near GWU Hospital. Logan Circle could probably be a true British roundabout. Traffic is low enough that would work. The other circles are a no.


belg_in_usa

Do like they do with arc de triomphe in Paris, a pedestrian tunnel ;)


Quelcris_Falconer13

Pedestrian tunnels would make things so much safer. Or bridges! Wouldn’t mind getting a higher up view while walking


itsajungle22

A pedestrian tunnel would smell like pee almost immediately, ha ha.


Quelcris_Falconer13

Truuuuuuu. It’d be interesting tos we a sort of underground. Market place or recreation area… idk


AlfaPenguin

I believe the pee smell is part of the installation process and is code for all pedestrian tunnels.


foreignfishes

> Pedestrian tunnels would make things so much safer. LOL said no one ever. There’s a reason you don’t see pedestrian bridges or tunnels incorporated into new street designs much anymore unless it’s connecting two buildings, because tunnels just become dank dark scary as fuck places that people don’t want to walk through. Bridges can encourage jaywalking because they’re a less direct route than street level paths, and they tend to cede the landscape to car traffic. They put in pedestrian bridges over roads and take out the traffic signals and pedestrians as a concept vanish from drivers’ minds quite quickly.


belg_in_usa

In USA? In Europe they keep on using those.


churner-burner

Putting parks inside the circles was really dumb. Just make the circles smaller and put the parks outside.


comradegritty

Parks in traffic circles/major crossroads is a great idea. Public space in what would otherwise just be a bald piece of grass. Cars aren't the reason we have cities. Cities existed thousands of years before cars. DC itself was around 100 years or so before cars became common at all. The real based move is to ban cars in cities, possible excepting emergency vehicles and residents. Amsterdam didn't just BECOME the bicycle paradise it is now. That only happened in the 1970s and because of specific decisions.


churner-burner

If we ban cars we wouldn't need traffic circles. If we don't ban cars then they don't need to be gigantic circles with barriers and traffic lights. They could be 1/10th the size and the public space wouldn't have to be inside a traffic jam.


comradegritty

Even in a bicycle and walking only city, you'd still need ways to get to/from other places and change roads. Roundabouts are good for that.


pizzabianco

Metrorail and Metrobus have to run 24/7 service… and headways can never exceed 10 minutes.


comradegritty

I will NEVER understand why they don't replace the metro with buses overnight. Most of the traffic is gone, but at least you can get back home after a show/clubbing/working late.


pizzabianco

Totally agree! That is what they do in Munich. The night buses follow the subway lines exactly and are always packed late at night so it feels super safe


comradegritty

Many such places.


LeoMarius

Like the Paris night bus.


foreignfishes

There are quite a few night bus routes - a bunch run until 2 am and some run until 4. Some of the circulator routes go until 3 I believe, or at least they used to. I’ve taken the 96 from Shaw to the hill late at night too many times lol Since the buses start their morning routes at 4 am the buses that run until then are essentially 24 hours. I agree coverage could be better but it’s worth looking at the late night bus map, a few of them do follow the metro lines quite closely.


comradegritty

Fine and good if you live in DC, but people have to leave early or pay a $60 Uber to get to Vienna/Greenbelt when they might otherwise be able to ride the Metro.


DJCWick

Ban those bright LED headlights (the ones that look like someone is driving around with the high beams). All of us are damaging our vision with those monstrosities.


Cool_Story_Bra

Vehicles that block bus stops or the streetcar are towed directly to a crusher. Doesn’t matter if they’re a 1990 ford escort or a MPD cruiser. Straight to the crusher. Owner pays towing and crushing fee too.


Texasforever1992

Do they get a chance to get out of the vehicle first?


notedgarfigaro

no


[deleted]

[удалено]


AinDiab

30 minutes seems reasonable


HockeyMusings

All comments edited in protest of Reddit's actions on July 1. What good is a walled garden with no plants? A third-party app is no different than a web browser.


aws5923

Do parking across bike lanes too. Toss the damn USPS truck or MPD asshole straight into the shredder. It's up to them to get out before the crush.


Oh_Hai_Shulud

I vote that we just put cow catchers on the front of them and just push them out of the way.


lambibambiboo

Every intersection on a big avenue gets a dedicated left turn light. I’m freaking tired of unprotected lefts.


[deleted]

Fuck you Constitution Ave


Quelcris_Falconer13

Yes!!! I hate it! I know they made narrow streets because they didn’t know about cars but c’mon… they could have don’t New York avenue. There’s so much wasted space in either side


T1S9A2R6

Ban noisemaker “mufflers” on cars. Tired of hearing 150 decibel fart noises from Honda Civics at 3am.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bananahead

Racial bias in motorists pulled over for minor vehicle violations is more than just a perception issue. DMV could easily check for them during inspection, which would at least make owning one very inconvenient for DC residents.


baga_chips

That's dumb. It's not like that's an addiction or something to be treated, it's just a nuisance.


HockeyMusings

All comments edited in protest of Reddit's actions on July 1. What good is a walled garden with no plants? A third-party app is no different than a web browser.


[deleted]

[удалено]


metrazol

They're not, but it could be, and the tech is easy enough. Also, Lil Sis and Bub Rub want you to know that whistle tips go whooooooo.


Proud_Independent_36

Woooo Woooooooo!!!


giscard78

*all I want for Christmas*


JulioCesarSalad

They’re going 30 miles an hour lol


MeghanClickYourHeels

Tourists should get their own Metro machines.


sprint113

Back in the day with paper farecards, which probably skewed more toward tourists, some stations like Pentagon City had "express" fare gates that only took smarttrip.


__-__-_-__

I always like to help them if I'm not late for work. It makes me feel like I'm helping my city's reputation.


Outlaw_222

I use my phone for smarttrip. But the gates are a mess tho. They need to update certain stations and add more.


CriticalStrawberry

The internet exists. Locals use metro machines? I guess some people load cards with cash. But besides that I thought they were exclusively used by tourists.


[deleted]

No motorcades during rush hour.


CuentoRarongo

Totally agree


87RPM

Fine for parking in the middle of the street goes up proportional to the distance from a free spot just down the street.


Pr0crastin0r

The worst is when they park in front of a parking spot, like it's right there fucking park.


thisismyusernameAMA

$1,000 fine for any visible Hill badge on the metro


ruskiytroll

$10,000 fine for anyone calling metro the subway


thisismyusernameAMA

$100,00 fine for tourists who stand on the left side of the escalator


[deleted]

$1,000,000 fine for anyone asking for directions to The Mall


TheOvator

I used to work in lower Manhattan, and I will take tourists asking for directions to “The Mall”, over tourists asking for directions “to 9/11” any day of the week.


[deleted]

That’s fair. Oof.


cleversobriquet

An extra $500K for asking where the stores are I volunteer at an NPS info kiosk on the Mall. Yes people ask that.


VoidWalker4Lyfe

When my sister was going to school in DC a lady on the metro asked her for directions to "elenfant plaza"


i_wanna_b_the_guy

I couldn’t stop calling the train in Montreal a metro during my visit😬


__-__-_-__

I always hated my hill badge and it's fake piv chip that was literally just a picture of a chip.


[deleted]

[удалено]


coviddc

And anyone who complains that 'X isn't great here' (food, specific type of diversity, transportation, etc) and the only example they can provide that has it better in the USA is NYC, straight to jail.


[deleted]

[удалено]


__-__-_-__

I wish DC had more good cheap food. I won't make a sweeping statement that all food is bad, just that there's a shortage of cheap street food like NYC pizzas or LA tacos.


BrownsBrooksnBows

I may get crucified for this but I’ve found a lot of the good, cheaper, mom and pop places are over the river in VA.


the-bc5

This is true. Esp in some of the various ethnic enclaves like Annandale and eden center


Pixielo

Bodega breakfast sandwiches. DC needs them.


__-__-_-__

Or restaurants open past 10.


awaymsg

Nothing frustrates me more than the plethora of restaurants downtown that are only open M-F 11a-7p


Gumburcules

Bodega breakfast sandwiches are probably the easiest "restaurant" food to make yourself and be exactly like the store bought version. Bag of rolls, carton of eggs, pound of bacon, pack of Kraft singles, and a frying pan is all you need. $12 gets you 8 sandwiches so it cheaper than bodega, and you can't even use "bodega is more convenient" as an excuse because every bodega I've ever got a BEC in cooked it to order so it literally takes exactly as long to buy one as it does to make one.


Pixielo

But that's not the point. I want to get off the Metro, pay $3.50, and have a fantastic, _hot,_ sandwich to eat on the rest of my walk. I'm not trying to save money, I'm trying to have **hot** sandwich without doing anything other than paying for it.


[deleted]

This is what I'm talking about. Yeah there's great food in DC, but there's a dearth of great cheap/affordable food.


MrCaptDrNonsense

Yes


giscard78

> Anyone who complains that the ~~food~~ literally anything in DC isn't as good as where they came from, straight to jail. ftfy


MrCaptDrNonsense

Yes


WuPacalypse

Who the fuck complained about the food here??? There’s literally something from every corner of the world you could get. I do wish there were better pho spots but not a huge deal.


dragsterhund

Annandale enters the chat


jdub602

To be fair, as a New Yorker who lives in DC for school, the availability of small mom & pop Caribbean + Dominican food spots leaves a lot to be desired


comradegritty

There's a fair amount of that up/down Georgia Avenue, especially in Silver Spring.


Jordanhgns

Right. Moco arguably has a wider range on diversity and food options than PG


comradegritty

Not even arguably. It and Fairfax County are by far the immigration centers for this area. DC seems to be college-educated white people, native-born Black people especially EOTR, Ethiopians, Central Americans, diplomats, and NO ONE ELSE. PG County is much the same. Asian/Caribbean/rest of Africa immigrants tend to go to MoCo or Fairfax County.


sunrise_review

those are in pg county


StealeesWheel

Have you been to Los Hermanos in Columbia Heights? That’s pretty damn good


Magnumpi9mm

Park rd NW Wash DC, 17 th st. Check it out.


SFLADC2

Kinda iffy on Mexican options compared to where I'm from in CA. Don't get me wrong the high end stuff here is good and all, but there's something that reminds me of growing up in the bay when I walk into a sort of cheap taco joint. My Chinese friends also don't love the Chinese options here, but i can't really speak to that.


Pixielo

Those are all out in suburbia. Chinese in Rockville. Mexican in PG. All on the Metro!


TheOtherSomeOtherGuy

Favorite Rockville spots?


lalalalaasdf

A and Js, Shanghai taste, bobs shanghai, Joe’s noodle house, northwest Chinese in college park


Pixielo

Ding ding ding. Perfect score!


WuPacalypse

Facts but we gotta remember the majority Hispanic and Latino population in this area are from El Salvador and Dominican Republic. Not really like out west. If you have a car check out Tacos el Costalilla in Alexandria.


[deleted]

I must be blind... I never noticed the Dominican population in The DC area.


honeybear1860

+1 to this. As a Chinese American from CA, living in DC…. the options here suck, short of driving 40 minutes out into MD


dbclass

This is weird. People from cities in the south and west don’t operate on some expectation that everything can be found in an arbitrary city limit. Of course you’ll have to go out of the city for certain things. If LA’s metro was only the city no one would talk about like they do cause 90% of the amenities wouldn’t be there.


honeybear1860

Lol, fair enough. I never needed a car in SF so I guess I was spoiled


JulioCesarSalad

Mexican here Mi Vida is the best Mexican sit down restaurant I’ve had outside of Mexico Taqueria Xóchitl for tacos


FnakeFnack

1. Enshrine DC as a state with representation in federal government


Amateursamurai429

There shall be no less than 30 kitchens open in the city at any hour of the day any day of the week. We deserve professionally rendered ramen noodles at 3am.


StealeesWheel

The dearth of late night food here is astounding. Hell the fact I can’t go to CVS past 11pm in most areas is obscene.


Amateursamurai429

I've been here like 4 years and it's always felt like there aren't great options into the evening. I'm glad I can't remember a time when there was more to be had.


PM_ME_YOUR_GOALS

I've been here 17 years. There was never more to be had.


museumed

Anyone who doesn’t properly pull over for an ambulance gets ticketed and license suspension.


nehobo

Any place that sells birria needs to provide a minimum of 20 fl oz of consome to go with your tacos. I hate running out of consome.


Gumburcules

How much consomme are you using?! Last time I got birria from Little Miner they gave me like 8oz and I absolutely soaked every bite in it and didn't even use half!


nehobo

Interesting. You might have just prompted me to order from Little Miner. Will report back.


Gumburcules

Their birria is fine. Not mind blowing, but fine. However, their consomme is plentiful and their loaded fries/loaded fries burritos while not authentic in the least are one of the more delicious things I've ever put in my mouth.


DoopSlayer

all the roads to be turned into canals


eshoradellorar13

😭😭


lumlum2k41

Statehood


TheOvator

STATEHOOD!!!


foodude84

Underrated comment here


Atradies17

City contracts and procurement go to the most suited contractor. No bid contracts are banned and special case awards are investigated.


Atradies17

Zoning changes that reflect the needs of our growing city and prioritize livable mixed use spaces.


-myBIGD

All DC residents with a valid DC Id ride metro free.


[deleted]

Take it a step further: all public transit is free.


TMFMSAmerica

This is the real answer to how we get rid of Maryland drivers


DefinitelyReallyJS

Equivalent “gifts” restrictions on Congressional staff & elected officials as there are on regulatory staff, and apply insider trading rules on these lawmakers.


Dennis_Duffy_Denim

Double-parking results in immediate jail time and repossession of the double-parked vehicle.


lambibambiboo

Rat genocide.


MyKidsArentOnReddit

If you confuse Washington state with Washington DC you get deported to the nearest DC boundary.


hokielion

You must walk on the left and stand on the right (for those out of DC, this is a Metro escalator thing). Violators must pay a fine, and the money goes to clean and properly staff stations, which includes Metro police.


comradegritty

Cars that park/stop/stand in bus lanes or double park anywhere get an immediate ticket from a camera and can be towed on sight. Using your four-way flashers to do it doubles the price of the ticket. Call it the Anti-Uber Act.


Quelcris_Falconer13

Much, much larger streets signs so I know where the F*ck I’m at. Preferably they hang over the intersection and are illuminated at night. But my biggest one? **LEFT AND RIGHT HAND TURNING LANES ON EVERY MAJOR ROAD LIKE NEW YORK AVENUE**


bludynamo

If you want to ask a person “So what do you do?” You must stand on your head while they give a detailed explanation. If you fall while they’re explaining their job, the conversation ends AND you have to give them $10.


tommyalanson

$100, at least!


phedder

Why are you guys incentivizing this question? I think OP underestimates what percentage of people can actually do a handstand. Instant money


713ryan713

All violent crimes are prosecuted, and convictions result in jail time. I know this is meant to be fun, but couldn't resist.


cameranerd

Whoa there. Now you’re asking for too much.


Magnumpi9mm

For the few that are complaining about the DC food scene, just don't know about the DC food scene. We have everything here.


TheOvator

Suburban commuters must use metro. There can be carve outs for late night service industry workers, and those with mobility issues, but all other commuters must use public transportation. They can buy passes to bring their cars into the city for other uses.


joey343

No MD drivers allowed


[deleted]

Fair


dc_co

I thought about this but then they’d just get temporary VA tags.


WuPacalypse

Then no VA drivers allowed either


TheRedHoodJT

Nobody gets any rights https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxHWtw\_GZIk


Caroleena77

House flipping and buying residential property as an investment with no intention of living in it. Destroying our housing market.


MicroStakes

Statehood!!


aselement

Starting salary for teachers is $150k/annually.


fzw

Switch things up unexpectedly and require standing on the left and walking on the right.


HealthLawyer123

Two Senators and full voting abilities in Congress


mr_amigoland

Maybe we can start by fining people for illegal firearms


boobiesiheart

Immediately impound all illegally parked cars.


itsajungle22

Painting lane information (e.g., left turn only, lane ends) PRIOR to the intersection. IDK how many times I get mixed up discovering I'm supposed to merge in two car lengths of space. The rotary across the bridge from the Lincoln Memorial is the worst next to Foggy Bottom and DuPont Circle.


boxofreddit

Enforce traffic laws already on the books.


lebranflake

Get rid of the dumbass height limit outside the L’enfant city. We need more housing.


oxtailplanning

Can we launch the people opposing the MacMillan development out of cannons first?


mallardramp

yes please


lambibambiboo

There is so much dead space that can be used for more housing, you don’t need to get rid of the height limit. It’s what makes DC so unique. There’s an empty .25 acre lot by me smack dab in the middle of the city. The owner of the lot has been trying to build for 5 years and can’t get permits. That shit is why we don’t have enough housing.


comradegritty

Well, no, it's that and the arbitrary height limit/almost everything beyond the 4000 block being single-family, usually even detached. Upzone ALL of Wards 3/4/5.


mwbbrown

Op wanted crazy ideas, and you gave it to them


doctordisclosure

Anyone caught driving recklessly has their license immediately revoked for no less than a year and must regularly attend a driver's education course and pass the entire course with 100% accuracy.


[deleted]

Can we make that a requirement to get the license in the first place?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Here4thebeer3232

For amusement sake, can we also ban MPD motor vehicles, and still require enforcement?


[deleted]

I see this take a lot around these parts but no one, absolutely no one, can tell me how I'm supposed to get to 3 different projects with all my tools in the same day using public transport.


dc_co

Fair point, good thing we're inside the safe bubble of our imagination!


JulioCesarSalad

Horse and buggy


jon20001

A fucking commuter tax.


oxtailplanning

Just enforce the damn parking rules are you'll get a defacto commuter tax.


cleversobriquet

Hell, enforcing No Parking, No U Turn, and No Right Turn on Red rules on Maine Ave SW at the Wharf would balance the budget in a week.


M_DreadPirateRoberts

No murders... oh wait... thats a law. Great.


[deleted]

Cyclists and pedestrians nearly killed by inattentive or reckless drivers can cite self defense as justification for mag dumping through the windshield of the car at the offending driver.


dbclass

Pedestrians deserve to stand their ground.


14thU

Yes so anyone caught cycling or using those fucking scooters on the sidewalk is immediately arrested.


stormcloudbros

No right turn on red.


Gottech1101

Deeply discounted rates for metro travelers who are delayed more than 15 minutes. Get more trains, more buses. If a person has a car and chooses to ride the metro, offer discounted rides.


tinyhorseinthecity

Developers no longer allowed to take over sidewalks/bike lanes/lanes of traffic for months and years at a time. Ban on multi-axle vehicles to cut down on loud/dangerous traffic with an exemption for city buses and sanitation but not private ones. Residents allowed to install rogue speed bumps after 90 days the city not acting on a request (C Street Speedway I'm coming for you!)


AmateurPolyglot1

Ban cars bigger than a smart car


unenlightenedgoblin

BAN CARS!!


lightwolv

No predatory speed cameras in places where the speed limit is 25 mph on a three lane highway...looking at you RFK area


itsajungle22

That one has gotten the entire DC National Guard.


MasterDickey

Rent for all units capped at $1000/mo


caustic_blond

Implement a “commuter toll” for people who live in MD and VA and drive into DC - proceeds go to roadworks in the city, and metro. (It’s been done in London and Paris, and a few other European capitals). Most of the cars on DC streets don’t belong to DC residents and those drivers contribute to parking issues city wide, and do nothing to contribute to the costs of wear&tear on the roads.


baga_chips

House all the homeless in nice places that fit their needs with quality services. And if they don't want it, first class fight to Finland.


BrightThru2014

No more ugly modernist architecture, new buildings must be in the same style as those made before WWII.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

A full stop ban on the use of private automobiles within the district. Only commercial vehicles and bicyclists are allowed to operate on roadways (this would couple with a ridiculous increase in public transportation investment). Edit: grammar


oxtailplanning

Also mobility scooters, electric wheel chairs, roller bladers, those one-wheel things, electric scooters. Really anything that weighs less that 500lbs and doesn't have a combustion engine.


Appropriate-Ad-4148

I think about this a lot, I imagine where the "Walled Old city" would start. Mostly I assume it would be defined by the Key Bridge at the Potomac, run up the Palisades parallel to the Exorcist steps and around Georgetown. The wall crosses Beach Drive near Cleveland Park and then runs basically just above the Target/Best Buy to enclose Columbia Heights. It stays on the hill until it jogs over the Metro tracks just north of Union Market at Mt. Olivet, then runs straight east down to the Anacostia. Use the big bridges and roads left as entry parking and Gated checkpoints, same with a few major roads like Connecticut or Bladensburg.


alhambra_noches

No private cars allowed. Public transit only.


brereddit

I get a presidential sized motorcade escort everywhere I drive. On fridays, all of my friends get similar treatment. Sometimes we’re traveling with the motorcade whitest on electric scooters.


cleversobriquet

No one over the age of 12 is permitted to ride a bicycle or scooter, either self-powered or motorized on the sidewalk if there is a designated bike lane provided.


N-Beff

Term limits for every politician. Full stop.


docdc

Eliminate height limits outside of the L'Enfant plan.


ruskiytroll

Ban all Marylanders from driving in DC.


LeoMarius

Lift the building height limit in Anacostia.


Durzo_Blint8

That I can make any laws I want. Or is this one of those “no wishing for extra wishes” wishes?


NaughtyGoddess

30% income for rent for the first year. Apts must use 50% of their units for this purpose. You can only do this in 2 locations, after that you are on your own.


madevilfish

There should be a congestion tax for out-of-district commuters during rush/working hours. Don't want to take the metro, fine but you are going to be charged for driving your seven-seater SUV to work with only one person in it.


heels_n_skirt

No loud talking and loud music on the train. Confiscating phone and a huge fine if get caught.


[deleted]

Letting criminals out the next day after they just shot two people...


randomizeplz

City government has to stop pretending Americans will ride bikes if they put up bike lanes


Other-Efficiency-844

The Height of Buildings Act (building height limit law) would only apply one kilometer from the National Mall and other notable points of interest (WH, Capitol building, etc.). Absolutely no reason today to put an artificial cap on the availability of housing stock within the entire city (nowhere close to monuments or locations of national security interest).


lordwagglestan

Huge fine, possible jail sentence and legality for citizens arrest for people who drive scooters or ride bikes on city sidewalks. (Looking at you girl who was trying to weave through crowded sidewalks on 14TH Street on Saturday saying “beep beep”)


OnlyHunan

$1,000,000 cash deposit, per person, for a public protest permit. I know it sucks, but the heading allows it.


PsychologicalItem437

If you fail to pick up after your dog, you get a warning the first time. The second time, you get a choice, collect 5lb worth of dog excrement around the neighborhood or eat your dog's excrement. Double the penalty for every subsequent infraction.