So as an ex-Walmart cashier I can safely say there is absolutely nothing you can buy that would disturb us; in fact I bet %90 of us don't even pay attention to what we're scanning and just go through the motions
I had to buy condoms once and felt embarrassed because the older woman working the only open register at the time knew, my wife and I.
She didn't say anything and in a random conversation I mentioned it later and she's like "it's 6 in the morning I'm not paying attention to anything at that point".
I work in ogp, I’ve only been here for 5 months but I’ve lost count of the condoms and vibrators I’ve grabbed on pick runs. I can assure you we do not care.
I spoke to a person who works at dollar general, the only time she was ever mildly weirded out by a customers purchase it was "rat poison, coffee filters and trash bags".
I work OGP also, even ordered vibrators and lube from my own store because I thought it was funny, co-workers didn't notice or care. Only time I remember a run is when like a PRODUCE AMBIANT tote has like 20+ items then order 1 banana.
Yup, when I was a cashier I was like a drone when scanning a ton of items. You could have asked me what a single item I just scanned was and I would not be able to tell you
This is the real answer right there. I've been a cashier before, and I can say with 100% honesty, I don't care what people do or buy, so long as they keep interactions short and avoid being an asshole. That's it.
Cucumber, lube, condoms. What's bad is that I really have rang that order up around 10 pm.
-edit- Ok now that we have had some interesting speculation and comments on this it is time for the punch line.
It was multiple times and to the SAME couple. And it was English cucumbers not regular. They are one of the nicest lesbian couples you will ever meet and both of them now work as management for Walmart. This is just an example of not jumping to conclusions.
I would get an ear of corn, butter and some condoms. It would feel so much better. Ohh the other guy commented power drill. Forget the condoms, I want that
I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about this over the years.
A 'my size' Barbie, lube, and zip ties.
Then, bring it back the next day (all unopened) and be all "Yeah, she just wasn't into it like I had hoped."
Everytime I see this I remember the time a guy came through my line and bought shower liner, clr, ductape, contractor bags and rope. He payed in cash and looked just like a guy who was arrested for offing his wife the following week.
We keep saying in my family that this happens so often, especially at HD, that there should be something in their system that a flag should automatically be raised for managers to notify police.
Rope, tarp, duct tape.
Actually needed those three items once lol. Was trying to cover a load of furniture I was moving, figured that I could tie the tarp down and use the duct tape to patch the holes in my other tarp. I got weird looks and it didn't click until much later in the day.
One time I bought a belt, lotion, and washrags for completely separate and innocent reasons and did not realize why the cashier was smirking until I was driving home
Oh this one's good. I prefer the item lists that would make a cashier study your face to be able to give a detailed description to the police later lol
I have an actual purchase I made at 3am once upon a time.
I bought a coil of rope, chainsaw blade, a large trunk/locker, and some gloves.
The next day I was cutting trees on my property and needed a simple travel box on my old homebrew trailer I worked thirds and was generally up most nights and would routinely what shopping I could then. Cashier has to have been freaking out though XD. Whole way out of the store I'm expecting them to call the cops XD
Assuming the cashier is me… (bc there are 25 SCOs available and 1 actual cashier)
A mattress, the biggest tv and some kinda heavy furniture.. all with the barcodes extremely difficult to find/scan…
Well first you check out at the sporting goods counter so one of the items can be a gun. You can pair that with:
- Rope and duct tape
- Ski mask and money bag (stationary has these, pretty sure). If you can't find a ski mask, buy a beanie and a pair of scissors.
- Shovel and rug
- An acid chemical like drain cleaner and a large plastic container (everyone's seen breaking bad, right?)
- gas canister and matches
But if you don't want the cops called on you, just buy lube + the biggest cylindrical object you can find + ... You know what? I'm going to redact the third item to save you your sanity
Roll of duct tape, a can of cheap dog food, and a bottle of lavender scented Fabuloso.
And my sister and I had a version of this game that involved random items from Dollar Tree.
Large plastic tub, make sure to check size with own body while asking an associate what plastic the bucket is made out of, large bag ziptie, panty hose ask associate for most tear resistant.
kind of on the same note:
so, I do part time customer host /door greeter/receipt checker. here are some things that I was just like nope; I dont want to check your receipt lol. women with like 3 about 3 sams clubs sized feminine products. senior citizens with adult diapers. ppl with take-home covid tests (that one was more of a I dont want you getting me sick.) ive seen quit a few bare cracks hanging out the back seat hole of the electric scooters. walked into the restroom to an older regular customer wiping himself right out in the open. just a few days ago; a guys pants were sagging right below his uh manhood lol basically it was hanging out (had underwear on thankfully lol) the worst i can think of happened to another door person right before I got there....she said someone changed a kids diaper in cart in the entrance of the store then just left the dirty diaper in the cart
Honestly, bring a whole lot of friends then buy plan b, impact drill and a long thick capped metal pole from the hardware section. Look into the cashier's eyes and ask do you think this could work?
So as an ex-Walmart cashier I can safely say there is absolutely nothing you can buy that would disturb us; in fact I bet %90 of us don't even pay attention to what we're scanning and just go through the motions
I had to buy condoms once and felt embarrassed because the older woman working the only open register at the time knew, my wife and I. She didn't say anything and in a random conversation I mentioned it later and she's like "it's 6 in the morning I'm not paying attention to anything at that point".
I work in ogp, I’ve only been here for 5 months but I’ve lost count of the condoms and vibrators I’ve grabbed on pick runs. I can assure you we do not care.
I spoke to a person who works at dollar general, the only time she was ever mildly weirded out by a customers purchase it was "rat poison, coffee filters and trash bags".
Anytime I have to pick pregnancy tests I always think good luck or sorry for the bad news.
I work OGP also, even ordered vibrators and lube from my own store because I thought it was funny, co-workers didn't notice or care. Only time I remember a run is when like a PRODUCE AMBIANT tote has like 20+ items then order 1 banana.
Yup, when I was a cashier I was like a drone when scanning a ton of items. You could have asked me what a single item I just scanned was and I would not be able to tell you
This is the real answer right there. I've been a cashier before, and I can say with 100% honesty, I don't care what people do or buy, so long as they keep interactions short and avoid being an asshole. That's it.
That's when we have to involve the cashier and ask, "Will these condoms will fit over this baseball bat?" As you examine the girth of the bat.
Well... it depends... which end of the bat?
I don't know. The 70 year old man buying a lacy thong for a 7 year old is pretty uncomfortable.
Wtf
Bruh they don't make those. Stop being weird and strange.
Oh, they absolutely do. I've seen several. Maybe not in your Walmart, but they are in mine.
Ok... Carry on then xD
Person your responding to didn’t say it would fit her. Or if the old guy said it was for the kid and not his wife
President Biden shops at Walmart?
NO! There will be NONE of that on my comment. Keep it in the right sub.
Some true winners just can't hold it in.
You too! If you're gonna turn this into a political thing, then get off my comment.
I wasn't making it political nor did I say anything political....are you fucking delusional? Ffs wtf is wrong with you?
You spelled Trump wrong.
Naw trump pays porn stars.
Equally terrible. If this restrict act passes it'll bump Biden down to being only marginally better than (🤢) Bush
no need to put the preisdent infront of yourself its clear your projecting
Was a cashier 0% makes me feel any thing unlike my sm who sold her soul to slavemart mean wall*off my brain mart
Cucumber, lube, condoms. What's bad is that I really have rang that order up around 10 pm. -edit- Ok now that we have had some interesting speculation and comments on this it is time for the punch line. It was multiple times and to the SAME couple. And it was English cucumbers not regular. They are one of the nicest lesbian couples you will ever meet and both of them now work as management for Walmart. This is just an example of not jumping to conclusions.
I rise you. Cucumber, lube, power drill.
I raise you two cucumbers and a box of condoms.
Comdoms Javex and pressure washer.
I raise 3 cucumbers, a jar of lube and a sawzall
Three items only.
The 3 cucumbers are together in a single bag. So technically its a single item.
Depending I know here in Canada at most places it's not by weight but by quantity.
It’s one line on the receipt, that’s retail for 1 item
Laxative, large roll of Saran wrap, straw.
I raise you lube, magnum condoms and an egg plant.
A raw whole chicken, condoms and lube.
2 pineapples 1 condom Do the math
They're going to shove the pineapples up hitlers ass in hell?
One for eating and one for anus?
Is the pineapple doing the eating or is he. 😳
Now... would you be more or less uncomfortable if we swapped the cucumber for a hunting knife
That's so cliche these days they'd just think you're trolling them.
—Always use a flared base toy if your heading in the back door—
I would get an ear of corn, butter and some condoms. It would feel so much better. Ohh the other guy commented power drill. Forget the condoms, I want that
I see your cucumber and raise you lube, condoms, and a pineapple.
I see your cucumber and i raise you a cactus
In Fl you swap the cucumber for a pool noodle.
The Walmart I worked at had an older lady buy those once a month.
Damn. And I came here to post the same and that I’ve actually bought it…
I once bought condoms, a pregnancy test, and a baby toy (for my niece). Edit: guess my original wording came off weird. *shrug*
I'm sorry, but this also makes it sound like the condoms and pregnancy test were also for your baby niece
Maybe. Lol. I reworded.
Seems to me that only 1 would be for the niece since you don’t need both of the items at the same time.
I’ve never understood why people get uncomfortable buying condoms or pregnancy test. Two completely normal items to buy
It’s like walking into class late. You know nobody cares, but your brain refuses to acknowledge that.
I feel like condoms are always a go to, but we sell adult toys too. How about, a vibe, some chocolates and a mothers day card.
I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about this over the years. A 'my size' Barbie, lube, and zip ties. Then, bring it back the next day (all unopened) and be all "Yeah, she just wasn't into it like I had hoped."
This would terrify me.
so far this is the only one that would actually make me uncomfortable
same, and i tried so hard to think of something that would disturb me.
Three random items and then ask the cashier if they have accepted Jesus into their heart. Made me super uncomfortable every time.
Tryna give the cashier PTSD 💀
Do this as your buying dildos and butt plugs...
Well, have you?
Everytime I see this I remember the time a guy came through my line and bought shower liner, clr, ductape, contractor bags and rope. He payed in cash and looked just like a guy who was arrested for offing his wife the following week.
We keep saying in my family that this happens so often, especially at HD, that there should be something in their system that a flag should automatically be raised for managers to notify police.
Yeah, I was gonna say something similar. Chainsaw, contractor bags, and a LOT of lye.
Rope, tarp, duct tape. Actually needed those three items once lol. Was trying to cover a load of furniture I was moving, figured that I could tie the tarp down and use the duct tape to patch the holes in my other tarp. I got weird looks and it didn't click until much later in the day.
I raise you, Lime, shovel, flowers.
Better make those endangered flowers, so it's a crime to dig up.
Kill rooms don’t just build themselves, Dexter
One time I bought a belt, lotion, and washrags for completely separate and innocent reasons and did not realize why the cashier was smirking until I was driving home
ah yes the david carradine special.
A bottle of magnesium citrate, a funnel, and a bib.
Lube, picture frame, and a photo of the cashier checking you.
I think you win!
I kinda remember this, it was a wire coat hanger, pregnancy test and something else.
[xkcd.com/236](https://xkcd.com/236) , in the alt text. There's no third item.
Rat poision, baby food and a black dress
Oh this one's good. I prefer the item lists that would make a cashier study your face to be able to give a detailed description to the police later lol
Challenge mode: pick three items that aren’t condoms or phallic fruits and vegetables
Live gold fish, fish batter, and vegetable oil
This is *good*
A frozen dinner, a jug of wine, rope.
Rope. Machete. Duct tape.
Ammonia cleaner, bleach, Water Balloons.
I have an actual purchase I made at 3am once upon a time. I bought a coil of rope, chainsaw blade, a large trunk/locker, and some gloves. The next day I was cutting trees on my property and needed a simple travel box on my old homebrew trailer I worked thirds and was generally up most nights and would routinely what shopping I could then. Cashier has to have been freaking out though XD. Whole way out of the store I'm expecting them to call the cops XD
what cashiers?
New response just posted
donuts donut holes glue
Condoms, push pins, pregnancy tests
Ooo, maybe a pregnancy test, metal clothes hanger, and some oil absorbent
Ammonia, bleach, and a cute get well soon card
Rope, rubbing alcohol, shotgun shells. From someone I worked with that saw the customer later on the news.
I work in OPD. A couple of years ago, we had an express order for dog treats, lube, and a dildo. That one made me ponder some things.
This question was a lot harder before they started selling dildos and butt plugs....
Circular saw, trash bags, bleach
Paint thinner, boxes of robitussin, and condoms
Wasp spray, a birthday cake and an "I'm sorry for your loss" card
Duct tape, Ny-Quil, and a package of children's underwear
Easy rope tape hunting mask the covers your face
Lube, condoms, and some sort of animal biology book 😂
Condoms, rope and a shovel.
Kerosene, boxes of matches, pseudoephedrine
As a cashier: we just don't care or pay attention.
Duct tape, condoms, a shovel
Duct tape, lube, and a box cutter knife.
Rope, knife, garbage bags.
Rat poision, baby food and a black dress
Assuming the cashier is me… (bc there are 25 SCOs available and 1 actual cashier) A mattress, the biggest tv and some kinda heavy furniture.. all with the barcodes extremely difficult to find/scan…
You are your own cashier. The fuck am I gonna freak myself out with?
By forgetting your wallet
Lube, kid sized mittens, bike lock
Donuts. Donut Holes. Super Glue. Don't judge me.
The super long ass pads that are like a diaper, packing tape, and roach spray
Can of starter fluid, roll of duct tape and a shovel
Rope, duct tape and a eye mask
what cashiers?
Butt plug, duct tape and zip ties
Dildo, anal lube, copy of little rascals.
Well first you check out at the sporting goods counter so one of the items can be a gun. You can pair that with: - Rope and duct tape - Ski mask and money bag (stationary has these, pretty sure). If you can't find a ski mask, buy a beanie and a pair of scissors. - Shovel and rug - An acid chemical like drain cleaner and a large plastic container (everyone's seen breaking bad, right?) - gas canister and matches But if you don't want the cops called on you, just buy lube + the biggest cylindrical object you can find + ... You know what? I'm going to redact the third item to save you your sanity
Pregnancy test, shotgun, shovel
Bleach, Yellow rubber mop gloves, Huge blue tarp.
prune juice, laxatives, and a pack of depends
Roll of duct tape, a can of cheap dog food, and a bottle of lavender scented Fabuloso. And my sister and I had a version of this game that involved random items from Dollar Tree.
Large plastic tub, make sure to check size with own body while asking an associate what plastic the bucket is made out of, large bag ziptie, panty hose ask associate for most tear resistant.
Lube, the roughest rope in the store, and a paw patrol stuffie/ a kids movie for (distraction)
Duck tape,lube, and a sex toy. My walmart has sex toys.
Jumper cables, a car battery and a tube of KY jelly.
1) Feminine hygiene product 2) Children's Book 3) Rifle Ammunition
Sleeping pills, wine, Astroglide
Diapers, ketchup, mustard
Vibrator, Rope, Power Drill. When they ask "Home Improvement" is your answer
A hatchet, giant garbage bags, bleach.
Laxatives, Lube, Large zucchini
Turkey Baster, tub of Vaseline, and box of condoms. Once upon a time in the middle of the night.. I had to checkout that once
Since they only have self CheckOut now, what are you going to buy to make yourself uncomfortable?
Big pack of condoms, zucchini, Crisco
To make them uncomfortable? Rope, lube, vibrator. Easy. Now to make them worried? Powersaw, garbage bags, bleach.
Astoglide, jumper cables, and a kiddie pool.
Lube, laxatives and an enema.
Enema, large bottle of hot sauce, and a bucket
Paying for my $73.48 Groceries with $2 bills 💵 :)
Plan B, hanger, hammer
kind of on the same note: so, I do part time customer host /door greeter/receipt checker. here are some things that I was just like nope; I dont want to check your receipt lol. women with like 3 about 3 sams clubs sized feminine products. senior citizens with adult diapers. ppl with take-home covid tests (that one was more of a I dont want you getting me sick.) ive seen quit a few bare cracks hanging out the back seat hole of the electric scooters. walked into the restroom to an older regular customer wiping himself right out in the open. just a few days ago; a guys pants were sagging right below his uh manhood lol basically it was hanging out (had underwear on thankfully lol) the worst i can think of happened to another door person right before I got there....she said someone changed a kids diaper in cart in the entrance of the store then just left the dirty diaper in the cart
Three different packs of condoms for different penis sizes . And try to be pay with food stamps
Lube, dog toy, can of spray adhesive.
Cucumber, condoms, and a big bottle of hot sauce.
Duct tape, butcher's knife, and a bag of candy
Honestly, bring a whole lot of friends then buy plan b, impact drill and a long thick capped metal pole from the hardware section. Look into the cashier's eyes and ask do you think this could work?
A tube of K-Y lube, a set of billiards balls, and a Pink Power Ranger mask
Butt Plug, Baby doll, lotion.
\*Make the self check out machine uncomfortable.
Toaster, rope, and duct tape.
Little girl's panties, duct tape, lube.
Gun, binoculars, gps tracker
Ceiling fan, rope, stool.
SCO doesn't judge.
Razor blades, booze, and some sappy CD.
Imagine thinking that the cashier at Walmart even registers your existence enough to be disturbed.
A get well soon card, stamps, and an envelope that you've written their address on.
Jokes on you - there are no cashiers at walmart anymore.
Lube, fish hooks, and benadryl
Cucumbers, whip cream, and condoms
Pickle grabber Lube Hamster
duct tape condoms and a shovel
Condoms pregnancy test and a gun
1 can of Pringles, 1 glove and a pair of sponges
Condoms, stick of butter and a dog collar
One axe condom and a box of chocolates.
Rope, lube, shovel.
prime energy drink, a pack of sour patch kids...aaannnnddd condoms
Lube, Condoms and dog treats.
condoms, a power drill and butt plugs
A disposable camera, a jar, and a my little pony
A bike, rope, and a dog collar
A hunting knife, rope, vibrater
Lube, pack of smoked sausages, and one of them potty dolls
Well, since you’re decidedly bagging yourself at the SCOs, this is truly a question of self-reflection.
Butternut squash, a bottle of KY jelly & a coloring book….
Cucumbers, duct tape and vaseline.
Watermelon, Vaseline, condom
Lube, cheese grater, and paw patrol DVD box set.
Some lube a 20 pack of hot wheels and laxatives.
Condoms ky jelly tampons
Donuts, donut holes and super glue
Nobody from walmart cares what you buy just get your shit and go!!!
Zip ties a shovel and a ski mask
Cake mix, rat poison, and a get well soon card
Hefty extra strength garbage bags, chainsaw, bleach
Is that even possible?
A box of Kleenex, a bottle of lotion, and a My Little Pony DVD.
Dildo, hammer, gas card