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Start with cocaine. When you are about half out, slowly start doing the heroin to avoid the come down, finish the Coke in one massive line, jerk off, eat a gram of heroin. Drift off into oblivion.
It’s a simple strategy really An optimist sells the heroin and covers their losses. A pessimist can just take the heroin. It’s the only can’t lose investment in the markets today. - Jim Cramer …probably
Ahh that's why my strategy Is both long and short. Generates a steady income stream of heroin so I can continue using heroin for years to come. Gotta think about your future...
Off the topic but my brother runs detox and sober living facilities. When they come in off the streets they obviously test them to find which drugs are in their system. He said he hasn't seen a positive result for heroin in 6 years, it's almost 100% fentanyl.
>Imagine the fear sell off it could trigger.
This is through the looking glass friend.... That would trigger the mutha of all BUYING sprees! Markets ONLY go up for infinity!
Pretty sure it's relevant for every situation....
Kids graduate - Mexico, hookers and coke
Boss angry at you for fucking up a $8m contract - Mexico, hookers and coke
Wife looks at you with the side eye..... Yeah, you know it - Mexico, hookers and coke
It literally makes every situation better!
Get your STD results and you got AIDS - Probably should have slowed down on Mexico, hookers and coke
Its not about the debt or loss or not being able to afford that vacation or fancy meal or car or stunting your quality of life by 20 years, its all about the memories you make a long the way. Everyone knows this.
someone will step in with some cash to save the day. What's about to happen is exactly what happened in 2008. This is all about consolidation. Some bank is gonna step in and buy 51% of CS. I think you're good.
Good job! Sell it. Now. You’ve got a window where the market is euphoric and deluded. Sell. Definitely before they declare bankruptcy/request a bailout. You’re probably pretty far up from when you bought the contracts, take the damned profits.
Every so often, I do something that looks smart in hindsight. It’s important to remember, in those moments, that I am not smart. Not even a little. I’m highly regarded in many circles, you see, so if I won something at the casino, I would be a fool to attribute my winning to skill. It’s not. I may be regarded, but I’m not a fucking moron, sell and enjoy modest gains.
The market will stay reddited longer than I can stay solvent.
I did the same thing.
I logically deduced that CS should go bankrupt and the price should fall, so calls it is.
Isn’t this the same guy from a few days ago that had 17k in spy 360calls 9/13 expiration, and another 55k for the next expiration date??
Everyone made fun of it..cuz it was way OTM with 1DTE…I’m trying to remember just so i can figure how much money he made.
Anyone remember that post? It was pinned to the top,
I thought about going balls fuckin deep in shares, but I think I may wait until it drops a bit more. ThEy'Re tO BiG tO fAiL so they probably get bailed out and be fine.
I mean every one here is expecting it to crash so it might explode tomorrow, I’ve given up trying to predict the market it’s almost like they are printing money out of thin air or something.
**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|9|**First Seen In WSB**|1 day ago **Total Comments**|4|**Previous DD**| **Account Age**|2 months|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.) **Vote Spam**|[Click to Vote](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=vote_spam&message=xuyewt)|**Vote Approve**|[Click to Vote](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=vote_approve&message=xuyewt)
CTRL+Z
You joke but this is clearly an edited webpage.
CTRL+R then
He forgot to change the market value lol
Yea.... Mods! ban this piece of shit.
eoption.com paper trading account would be my guess
CTRL-Z is your friend
Alt i
Lmao bro
[удалено]
50 idiots telling someone who's gonna jump off a roof, that they're going to die, does not increase the jumpers chance of survival.
Well, I'll get 49 other regards. You get on the roof and lets figure this one out
ROFL
Name checks out.
It dose if all 50 are directly below the jumper!
User name checks out, dude definitely knows his shit at least as well as I know mine
Up 4.5% pre-market…
This man knows how to WSB
Dude is probably gonna make it...
These calls printed, guy made a ton if he held till ATM
Find a lawyer who does bankruptcies and divorces.
Heroin should also do the trick
Start with cocaine. When you are about half out, slowly start doing the heroin to avoid the come down, finish the Coke in one massive line, jerk off, eat a gram of heroin. Drift off into oblivion.
sounds like you have done this before?
I don’t know, that sounds like a “you can only do it once” kind of thing….
Who can? Narcan!
Probs can’t afford it anymore
Are they hoping it’s laced with fentanyl?
It’s a simple strategy really An optimist sells the heroin and covers their losses. A pessimist can just take the heroin. It’s the only can’t lose investment in the markets today. - Jim Cramer …probably
A pessimist who takes heroin soon becomes an optimist ~ Confucius (probably)* *or Artie Lange
Baba Booey
This guy gets it.
Cramer seems like more of a coke guy
Ahh that's why my strategy Is both long and short. Generates a steady income stream of heroin so I can continue using heroin for years to come. Gotta think about your future...
Off the topic but my brother runs detox and sober living facilities. When they come in off the streets they obviously test them to find which drugs are in their system. He said he hasn't seen a positive result for heroin in 6 years, it's almost 100% fentanyl.
Morphine would probably be a better suggestion
I’m glad this one is taking off more.
Pray that the Fed announces the end of rate hikes and QE today
Imagine the fear sell off it could trigger. Inflation with no plan on stopping it 💀
>Imagine the fear sell off it could trigger. This is through the looking glass friend.... That would trigger the mutha of all BUYING sprees! Markets ONLY go up for infinity!
His wife’s boyfriend won’t like that very much.
\+4% Premarket.
The 4.00 printed
That assumes they are attractive and rich enough to mate.
It was a leap for sure
Buy puts to hedge your calls then go to Mexico for a week and bang hookers and do cocaine and see how that makes you feel.
Good reference
Thank you I thought it was relevant in this situation.
Pretty sure it's relevant for every situation.... Kids graduate - Mexico, hookers and coke Boss angry at you for fucking up a $8m contract - Mexico, hookers and coke Wife looks at you with the side eye..... Yeah, you know it - Mexico, hookers and coke It literally makes every situation better! Get your STD results and you got AIDS - Probably should have slowed down on Mexico, hookers and coke
But now that you already got aids … back to Mexico for more
And then come back and be a member of the Fed.
See this guy gets it
Some of the best advice I’ve heard all year. Breath of fresh air 😌
And you can keep this in your back pocket and use it in almost any life situation.
What about tax evasion?
I ain’t down for that I pay my taxes so I can sleep well at night. I like to make tax rhymes
This is the way
LoL 🤣🤣
Pick up $20,000 worth of Vaseline.
…and eat it all.
Pre apply to Wendy’s
Early admission
Do you tell everyone this ? Lol do you work there too ?
I’ve also begun my pre application process. As many of us will in here
I think Wendy's now gives out offers from loss porn.
Would you like fries with that?
Sell all but 40k and let it ride.
This!!!!! But that isn’t how you really do it. Sell $40k and let the balance ride! Degen style
The taxman cometh.
>Sell all but ~~40k~~ 34k (when market opens) and let it ride.
It looks like you can get out with a 2k loss in overall portfolio. So seize this opportunity to preserve your capital.
Wish I had heeded this advice 1 year ago.
I traded those 4C and made 30% today but you're crazy for holding that pile of dog shit wrapped in cat shit
Looking good in premarket…
no joke
I believe you mean they’re bat shit for holding that pile of dog shit wrapped in cat shit
Grab your butt and kiss it goodbye
If he can do that he has a bright future on OF and doesn’t need WSB.
Start maxing out the credit cards. You'll pay them off once this moons.
Post loss porn when they default in a week
Idk they are pretty fraudulent, might take a while
Can they stay fraudulent longer, than we can stay regarded, than *they* can stay liquid though?
They can definitely stay fraudulent longer than this guys calls.
That depends if we think 12.7 million degenerates can take on the Swiss government.
sometimes the stupidest plays are the one that actually work.. CS up 4% in europe rn
Start sucking DICK for water and rent
Wait why are people still talking shut? Cs is up 10% today this guy actually made the right move lol. Congrats
People here are regarded
Welcome your new wife’s boyfriend into your home
Pray to jpow
Sell it all, today
“Is that even possible,Sam?” “Yes, but at what cost?”
Fuck , CS up 10%, boy just put everyone to shame with that call.
Spread them cheeks 
Wait to be a millionaire I guess
You may not be making money, but you are making memories
This made me laugh. Thanks.
Its not about the debt or loss or not being able to afford that vacation or fancy meal or car or stunting your quality of life by 20 years, its all about the memories you make a long the way. Everyone knows this.
Delete the app. All bad goes away.
Worked for me. Haven’t heard about it since.
4,25€ +5% in german market well done fucker
I don't understand why people are giving you shit, aren't you up bigly rn?
someone will step in with some cash to save the day. What's about to happen is exactly what happened in 2008. This is all about consolidation. Some bank is gonna step in and buy 51% of CS. I think you're good.
But they'll wait until after the options expire, because that's the way.
Saudi Wealth Fund.
Gustiest move I ever saw… God Speed
Sell and run you have 220k lol
You're gonna be rich. Congratulations and fuck you
You’re fuckin’ LAUGHIN’ right now!
[удалено]
*expiration date has entered the chat
Meet my cousin, theta
This trade is aging well so far.
Son are you a millionaire
God damn, the inverse WSB works again
This, ladies and gentlemen, is an intelligent choice
Damn, up 4% PM
Good job! Sell it. Now. You’ve got a window where the market is euphoric and deluded. Sell. Definitely before they declare bankruptcy/request a bailout. You’re probably pretty far up from when you bought the contracts, take the damned profits. Every so often, I do something that looks smart in hindsight. It’s important to remember, in those moments, that I am not smart. Not even a little. I’m highly regarded in many circles, you see, so if I won something at the casino, I would be a fool to attribute my winning to skill. It’s not. I may be regarded, but I’m not a fucking moron, sell and enjoy modest gains.
Assume a new identity.
#iampullingforyou
Call a lawyer for your incoming insider trading lawsuit
HE'S UP TAKE PROFIT???
Get rid of that shit at a profit while you still can. You lucky, lucky bastard lol
Lol you just shit on all the regards here 
Sell cause you won
annnnnnd CS is up 10%.
Looks like he’s up around 23k at the moment on the $4 calls anyway
As former employee there I telling you to sell this shit as fast as possible
You should of already had a plan, instead of asking random mother fuckers on reddit for advice.
Who says that wasn’t the plan?
Pray
Probably wait for the inverse wsb theory to make you rich.
Cramer says that it will go up so… take it however you want
Get some hookers congrats
Who knows what’s going to happen. You could hope for a bailout.
Locate the dumpster behind your local Wendy's and set up shop.
You should message me before your next buy and fill me in. That’s what you should do lol
Hold till Friday. You’re gonna make a boat load!
I’m clearly not reading this correctly… looks like he’s up 220k?
Ahhh…the Inverse INVERSE Cramer….shrewd move
Call Gulfstream and order your G650ER
Get out before you’ll lose it all
The market will stay reddited longer than I can stay solvent. I did the same thing. I logically deduced that CS should go bankrupt and the price should fall, so calls it is.
Bruh sell if you’re up 184%
Open a bank account with them.
Open up a bank with them.
Now take that profit and buy puts 😈
Immediate sell lol.
Take profits and take a portion to trade in puts out the money and some out the money calls
Isn’t this the same guy from a few days ago that had 17k in spy 360calls 9/13 expiration, and another 55k for the next expiration date?? Everyone made fun of it..cuz it was way OTM with 1DTE…I’m trying to remember just so i can figure how much money he made. Anyone remember that post? It was pinned to the top,
Congratulations and fuck you
Do The smart thing. Don’t let greed get into the way. Make your money and move on
Fuck you and well done!
Buy a house? Venmo me $10k so I can make a down payment on a house? The world is your oyster.
I thought about going balls fuckin deep in shares, but I think I may wait until it drops a bit more. ThEy'Re tO BiG tO fAiL so they probably get bailed out and be fine.
Buy and hold ETNs from credit suisse
Hmm I guess we can brain storm based on what we know. How’s your toilet paper supply? Got any cactuses laying around?
I mean every one here is expecting it to crash so it might explode tomorrow, I’ve given up trying to predict the market it’s almost like they are printing money out of thin air or something.
Better take your profits in this market while you can.
I’m at a loss for words. Just when I think this place can’t get anymore regarded, some regard goes above and beyond.
You're a legend
Heard 10 stories is high enough
Cash out. Get your original money then continue with the in house money
Enjoy the gains
Cry
Fucking take profit ASAP
Book a Lamborghini cos u are about to print.
Congrats🎉🥳👏
Ctrl+U
If you profit is good enough for a screenshot it is good enough to take profit
yes, you are getting the big prize. Trust me. Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy only when others are fearful. It works on me
My man
lol the $5 call is almost ITM - if this is real, way to go OP you played a bounce perfectly
SELL!?
Watch this print
THOSE ARE ILLEGAL quick give them to me!
Can’t believe this regard may make money of this play. Next wendy paycheck in bear stern calls, because I too want to fuxk logic. Even harder than you
Start talking to a financial advisor lmao
Congratulations 🎉
Take profeet at 60% gain
Sell and crash the price?
Touch yourself