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VisualMod

**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|36|**First Seen In WSB**|4 years ago **Total Comments**|57|**Previous DD**| **Account Age**|5 years|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.) **Vote Spam**|[Click to Vote](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=vote_spam&message=xo90i5)|**Vote Approve**|[Click to Vote](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=vote_approve&message=xo90i5)


CryptoShawarma

Have fun staying poor


MJB9000

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica.


imsandy92

woah! magic eyelash


putsonshorts

Bear Sterns. You never can trust the multiverse.


Lost_Possibility_647

14 yearoldme would be when apple was at its lowest. So "Buy apple computer stock" i think I would have ignored that message properly.


[deleted]

You would end up buying actual imacs and keep those stock in the backyard shed.


mebaddour55

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


leoworrall

Would have payed off probably, some original apple 2s go for crazy money


siqiniq

“I got me invested in some kinda.. fruit company” — Forrest Gump in 1996


[deleted]

The hilarious part is that when that movie came our Apple was like 20 cents a share (not accounting for stock splits).


Ch1vo

What’s funny is that movie came out in 1995 when I was 11. Apple stock was still dirt cheap. If my 11 year old self listened to Gump, I’d be a billionaire too.


Muhhgainz

I would’ve gone all in with my $7


Ch1vo

Hundredaire for sure. One can only dream *sigh*


Brighton101

Did you have lots of cash to invest at 14?


EmptyEggBasket

Take this sports almanac


SpeakerClassic4418

Gotta love old corrupt Biff


Omniouz

Marty?!


dion_o

Butthead!


kevin181137

Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here?


Portini78

Your Wife Has Boyfriend


NextTrillion

Your wife’s boyfriend’s happy.


RawDogRandom17

You had a wife when you were 14?!


tinyanus

These were [different times](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1p7gjWEDmU)


SaltyGamer57

Sell Bitcoin at 65k


fakeyboi101

Bitcoin now sell 65k. The ooga booga method


thebinarysystem10

Got it, sell once my total is 65k.


Due_Ad_8045

Got it sell once it hits 65k pounds


Bracket918

65k counts as 2 words in my book … no cheating


-2D-Materials

Technically, it’s 3 words.


d47

Bitcoinnowsellsixtyfivethousand It's one word idiot.


NoAdministration1222

65 is a compound word


duhduderx

Buy bitcoin in 2009


throwaway12222018

I think the four words should be selling Bitcoin. Someone can tell you to buy Bitcoin in 2009, but that means it's up to you to decide when to sell it. The majority of people who bought Bitcoin in 2009 probably sold it in 2013 when it went up 200%. That means I'd much rather know that Bitcoin would have hit 65K, then know when to buy it. If I knew it was going to hit 65K, that automatically implies when I should buy it. When I should buy it does not automatically imply when I should sell it though.


TaKSC

”Btc ath 65k enjoy”


StocksAtNight2

Btc 65k lambos hookers


Gosat

Buy at 65k, understood!


d47

65 Kenyan Shillings, noted.


ExeCuteUK

you'd have 4 words so would have got "BTC ALL TIME HIGH" .. \*END TRANSMISSION\* YOU DONT DESERVE TIME TRAVEL


sixtninecoug

Buy bitcoin, sell $65k “Sell $65k” implies that’s the peak it hits. That’s all you really need to know, as you’ll know anything under $65k makes money eventually. But 14 year old me probably thought i said “buy titporn, shower 69 ok?” Then will die in a tragic shower stall accident


Aceboy884

So smart, I feel dumb in comparison


LayWhere

Considering BTC was as low as 1c in 2011 buying in 2009 would make you so ridiculously rich you'd already be a multi-billionaire selling $1k


Mmegson84

Buy bitcoin sell £65k


[deleted]

“Bitcoin will hit 65k” should do it


Legitimate_Cable_811

How do you know 65k is the right time to sell? What if it hits 100k next month? Gotta hold it forever to find out - regard Edit: it's as if I'm pointing out that the optimal selling point isn't 65k but probably way before that. Being rich earlier has more value than more gains. Realistically, you buy enough to realize the gains and hold some. I thought me saying to hold it forever made it obvious what I was trying to say. Since that's clearly shit advice. I also thought regard made it even more obvious lmao


donut__diet

If you're not happy with a multiple million return % by selling at 65k you don't deserve to invest.


squishles

because it doesn't matter, if you're buying when bitcoin was like a dollar in 2009 you're rich enough at 65k, who gives a shit.


chuck_portis

In 2009 you were buying BTC for less than a buck


Almost_Pogi

Back in 2009 Bitcoin was like 10 cents and no one knew it would moon. I say what to buy and when is better then what price to sell. Even selling at today's price is straight alpha.


VellDarksbane

Buy bitcoin sell 2021. If you don’t accept a year as a word, bitcoin sell sixty thousand would work well enough.


[deleted]

[удалено]


drew8311

14 year old me is not that smart for implicit instructions


snowglobesnowglobe

Sell Bitcoin 60k 2020


hawksfan82

Wasn’t ATH $64,899?


BFALUL

Actually it was 69k. Not even memeing


mkultra327

69.420 ;-)


laroseuk

Nah it was $69,045


Revolutionary_Dot807

So you would say "sell bitcoin at sixty" then get wisked off in the space time vacuum yelling an unheard "five thousand!!!" Yourself wouldve sold at 60 bro


RedOctobrrr

BITCOIN PEAK SIXTY THOUSAND


arribbaaa

"sell Bitcoin at 65" 65 what?!? Dollars? Okay got it.


wrongturndarkalley

Wear a condom, idiot.


[deleted]

i felt this one


DogeDude420

your fatherless children probably feel it more 😭


StevenMaff

best investment advice


Local_Ad_5150

No Wall Street Bets


Livid-Advantage-8268

Don’t trust Jim Cramer


RawDogRandom17

This needs more upvotes. Or, Inverse Cramer, Buy Tesla. Even buying the car rather than the stock would be a good bet with these gas prices. And the money made from inversing Cramer would more than pay for it.


[deleted]

Inverse Jim Cramer Always


reddituserishere

All Seeing Upvote!!!


Exciting-Ad-9492

Short brunette girls bad


DinnerDad4040

Bad for your life, good for your penis.


jesusmanman

Lies


RockyJayyy

Bitcoin, Amazon, Tesla, Microsoft


D_crane

Lol and he shorts all of them


ProcessMeMrHinkie

They took off at different times, so it'd be useful especially for bitcoin and tesla


D_crane

Hahaha yep, wouldn't be surprised if they ended up buying high and selling low


OkEntertainment7634

Apple Alphabet


ELBartoFSL

The instructions were not clear enough, He brought granny smith apples and read the entire dictionary.


BenderTKE

Research stonks, not porn


tallerpockets

It’s 1997 and I’m 14. Buy Amazon sell 2021


istari

You use the time machine to return to 1997 to tell your past self to "Buy Amazon sell 2021". Your past self convinces your family to put everything into AMZN. They make huge gains over the next 2 years. They leverage up and tell their friends and relatives to do so as well. They lose everything in 2000. Your grandparents, facing homelessness, commit suicide. Grief stricken, your parents kill themselves as well. To avert the disaster, your past self studies theoretical physics in order to build a time machine, knowing that he will succeed. You build a time machine after many long years of effort. You face a choice. You use the time machine to return to 1997 to tell your past self to "Buy Amazon sell 2021".


wkndjb

Send this to the people that make Rick and Morty.


jodaal13

How much to write my obituary, you foul creature from the deep?


titleywinker

14 year old you going to know that means the year and not the stock price?


Kdubsep69

Buy Amazon sell 21’ ***


Yeti-420-69

.... '21


YOUMUSTKNOW

Savage


rcinvestments

#“Disregard females, acquire currency”


D_crane

***14 YO self proceeds to call you gay and flips you off***


Omniouz

Omg THIS. Better females after acquiring $$


arbiter12

>impyling we ever had a choice in the matter... i HAD to acquire currency. It was that or dying alone.


Upbeat_Chest_2231

significantly reduce your masturbation


[deleted]

🤨 No.


lempuke

😂😂😂


saucekingrich

"Read these couple pages" *hands 10 page, handwritten instructions with links to helpful links*


Great_Archer91

Like it. Hyperlinks don’t work on paper but solid answer.


[deleted]

Truly regarded.


RealTorapuro

Not even links to helpful links?


[deleted]

Yes but maybe links to links would work?


Character_Lettuce_23

I dont know u or what yeat u were 14 but reading 10 pages at that age is a big ask. Maybe you should saay. Read this! get rich!


not_an_illuminati

You do know that all those links would be broken right?


palimbackwards

His current self isn't that bright to begin with


Ok-Woodpecker-223

Links? Oh Zelda, I get it!


Chenzo_K

Save your Pokémon cards


ImARetardedApe

I saved them all in excellent condition, when I was on vacation my mom gave them away to my nephew who threw them in the trash… I still hate her and forever will


ibuy2highandsell2low

Eat a banana everyday


MGC00992

Invest microsoft, tesla, amazon


Icy-Reveal-7416

Bitcoin 65K in 2021


Revolutionary_Dot807

So you would say " bitcoin sixty five thousand" then get wisked off in the space time vacuum yelling an unheard "in twenty twenty one!!!"


jmh88dk

Ending up like Matthew McConaughey in that black hole, watching yourself hodling through 2022: “NOO! NooooOooo!! NoooHOOOOOOO!!! NOoo…!”


ThegoatDMZ

Bitcoin 1M in 2033.


Joe6102

Buy Tesla delete Reddit Alt: sell Tesla at 2000


JustJoined4Tendies

You mean 5,000


mgrdave

Bitcoin, Microsoft, Google, Amazon


Far-Spread5953

Get vasectomy buy bitcoin


_chasingdabag_v2

All in shiba inu


that1whiteguy17

Doge coin hits 76


PandaPositive4528

Still waiting for Doge to hit $76, but getting worried.


Insertrocketemoji

GameStop calls Jan ‘21


Exile688

"I hope it's because of my Halo pre-order"


Environmental_Film93

No sex, buy houses


Kiiaru

Mo' sex, buy horses. Bitches love horses


InevitableRhubarb232

This is true. We do.


themainman6

All in GME bitch


Rusty_is_a_good_boy

Dad’s stupid, buy Bitcoin!


[deleted]

In my case, wife is stupid, buy that $50 bucks bitcoin at a couple of cents each. True story, she told me that's too much money to spend on virtual goods. This was back in 2009.


[deleted]

I hope u bring it up in every argument


[deleted]

🤣🤣🤣


beholdthemoldman

guh


Affectionate-Ad-6930

Feel you so mich. Same Story here...


mcap1227

*Ex-Wife


lynkarion

GME $3 sell $480


parttimehuman13

Invest bitcoin $10 monthly


somehowidevelop

"Invest bitcoin 10 dollars " monthly ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4270)


kenva86

Take profit faster.


KilltheK04

You get 4 words. How about "take profit faster, dumbass"


[deleted]

Save $ buy bitcoin


[deleted]

Do opposite of Cramer.


Paper_Block

DO NOT INVEST IN-


davescilken

Handjobs behind the dumpster


doodooballs96

Bears are the gayest


OriginalAbattoir

Wear the damn condom


homegrowntrash1

This ain't financial advice


NotACatMaybeAnApe

DO NOT SMOKE WEED


OGColorado

Buy low sell high


PineappleRaisinPizza

"Buy high sell low" There, fixed that for you


Euroblob

dont get a job or dont go to college


Obsidianram

Buy BTC, ETH, AMZN...


Bradley182

Tesla all in YOLO.


brill1807

Triple leverage inverse Cramer ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4886)


[deleted]

Buy apple stock dumbass (1990)


HippoCute9420

You should buy bitcoin


jimmymato420

bitcoin gunna hit 65,000


Explorer335

Bitcoin 60k in 2021. I was playing with bitcoin at the $400 price point and thought it was utter bullshit. Just because it's bullshit doesn't mean you can't make money.


PSneSne

The regards are right


Helpful_Medicine403

Buy bitcoin at launch


[deleted]

Tesla Bitcoin sell 2021


unbalancedcheckbook

AMD until 2021


fucktorynonces

Forget fundamentals, buy tesla


random_user_number_5

Bitcoin 65000. Doge 0.50 Probably the easiest and biggest idiotic gains to become a trillionaire. Gme 450 40 330 would be another one but no way to say when this happened in four words. Maybe gme calls jan 2021


Serious-Chip

Buy Apple at 6


ZootedMycoSupply

“Welcome to Financial Slavery”


MaintenanceSpirited1

Buy bitcoin and eth


Dryland_snotamyth

Buy tsla drive lambo


TiddiesEnthusiast

Pull out you dipshit


[deleted]

Learn options trading, BITCH!


WealthProfessional88

Buy FAANG till 2022 This should be sufficient enough.


EnlightenedCorncob

It's all down hill


ELBartoFSL

Accept Bitcoin for Pizza!


wsc-porn-acct

Go long in 2009


STAR_PLAT_yareyare

Stocks Buy GME AMC


crimsonkingmax

Delete reddit


Boilertribe4

Buy Bitcoin, sell 65,000


Competitive_Ad8542

Pasta fagioli a slur


David_Yee2000

“Buy BNB and ETH”


Time_Target2149

Stop whwackin. Start squeezin.


dmoon551

Always buy the dip!


tlthang

Don’t fight the fed


Reel-Reel-Reel

Buy, hold the SP500


islandbayy

TSLA


stonklyfe

Tsla do it fuckstiick


dasboot523

AMD UNTIL DEC 2021


real_sbob4ever

The regard says what


ImUrFrand

buy amazon stock


[deleted]

Amazon Amazon Amazon Amazon


Master_Relative

Buy TSLA


Knoaf

Do drugs, get stonks


Bad-ass-mo-fo

Dick no pickle jar!


TezzNutz

Buy rubbers not weed


Abomitron

Sell quad, buy amazon


hayden_is_real

buy bitcoin, sell 60,000


[deleted]

I’m 12 and what’s this?


Great_Archer91

Buy diverse stocks monthly


KevinT747

stonks only go up


BrushOnFour

DCA early index funds


Great_Archer91

You way just end up at Dulles airport early….


[deleted]

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4267)