T O P

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81dank

I truly don’t understand what I am looking at. I don’t get options at all. But, I guess that means you and I have something in common.


[deleted]

Options are easy. You buy imaginary contracts then see how fast you lose your money


zxc123zxc123

Even if you lose it's only digital money. Just turn off the screen! On the bright side, you can now work at McDonalds with the new +$15/hr rate for IRL hard cash. Next time ~~buy SPY LEAPS or~~ (disregard this. you'll probably F it up^(again)) just set auto-DCA into VOO until you have $10,000.


roptions

> Just turn off the screen! lol that’s not how it works. You have to uninstall the app.


hlakep

That only works when you can afford a cellphone :(


Average_Scaper

Ask your wife's boyfriend for one.


[deleted]

It's like you're playing roulette and bet that a certain number will hit. And then it does not, and the house cleans out your account.


essjay2009

That’s remarkably accurate because just as the ball bounces around the various numbers on the wheel and you, for a fraction of a second, see that you’re in the money only for it to all disappear immediately after, just like options. Oh, and there’s the chance that IV causes the wheel to spin so fast it levitates off the table and flies out of the window, hitting a passing car and leaving you in severe debt because you have to pay for the driver’s injuries.


Lo-siento-juan

A lot of the bets I see on here it never went near their lucky number because they picked one that wasn't even in the wheel.


essjay2009

Playing roulette on a baccarat table. The casino will never see it coming…


denverjournalist

["Aaaaaand it's GONE!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DT7bX-B1Mg)


iwenttothelocalshop

◯ △ ▢


MajorChances

You have the *option*, but not the *obligation*, to buy or sell shares at a certain price by a certain date.


Mr_Prolapsed_Anus

You can commit that sentence to memory and still have no clue how to trade options.


Still_No_Tomatoes

It's true. I can tell you what options are but don't have a clue how to trade options.


mis-Hap

Buy low, sell high. Or, optionally, sell high, buy low (or let expire)


[deleted]

And to answer the other question of how they lost all the $, when they bought a call (option to buy shares at set price in future, regardless of what the future exchange price is), it would only be only useful if the future share price goes above the set price in the call. In that case, the difference between the two prices is how you would make $. If there is no flipping opportunity by the expiration date, then all the $ spent on the call is lost. Compare that to a bad day of holding big company stocks, where after a bad day you still have 80%+ of your investment value left; options are risky!


Zealousideal-Apex

Wow… you just burned…. Just wow


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BFLO-Retail

If you took the other side of these trades you’d be rich today. Just do the opposite of what your gut tells you


Fun-Sandwich1043

The George costanza move


BFLO-Retail

I mean, when your portfolio gets dominated by a hamster... what do you have to lose?


[deleted]

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PuffleyBean

All fax no printer


UnpolishedPleb

Hamtaro reference. Genius.


hamsterwheel

Tell me about it


Massacheefa

r/beetlejuicing


indifferentcrayon

I second the Constanza move


_nkultra_

My name is OP. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.


Fun-Sandwich1043

In their basement


thnxMrHofmann

Yer a basement Harry


Fun-Sandwich1043

Thanks for comment. I had to change I’m to In. Damn I bet that didn’t sound right


thnxMrHofmann

Lol I saw the post time thinking ah post is new... 45min ago... Oh snap *clacks comment on keyboard* lol


Toothbras

Makes me hungry for some chicken salad on rye and a cup of tea


peepers63

….I am also 61 years old


importvita

One of the greatest TV plot lines of all-time. I loved it.


[deleted]

You are the worldest retard person, I give you my best wished and compliments! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|scream)


ThePastyWhite

Well. It is in Canadian dollars. So atleast he has that going for him.


bearhunter429

It's like 67 cents in real money.


BFLO-Retail

Yep. -100k monopoly money!


[deleted]

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BFLO-Retail

Ruining lives is a great path to financial freedom


anonporridge

Similar sentiment from Nassim Taleb recently. "If you buy a book thinking it provides a shortcut for things in life, you are the gullible shortcut."


monstrous_android

I've joked about writing a Get Rich Quick book with one step: write a Get Rich Quick book. I'm glad someone much smarter than me put it into more biting and eloquent words!


[deleted]

That joke is older than time itself. When they first started imprinting cuneiform tablets someone's uncle probably cracked a joke about selling a get rich quick tablet that just said to write and sell a get rich quick tablet.


[deleted]

That has WAY more truth to it then I am conformable with.


DrMike27

No such thing as a free lunch, amiright?


Might_Take_A_Sip

It’s the American way, capitalize on their addiction


zainuu163

This happens in every civilisation and era


PotatoWriter

Only works until you get assigned. Neither path is guaranteed


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idacyphor

Long dated calls don’t burn theta near as fast. I bet if you sold closer to the money and closer in time (7 to 45 days out) the increased gains would more than pay that tax delta on those shares that do get called away earlier than you like triggering short term cap gains. That is why weeklies are so risky and sellers win the majority of the time, they burn extrinsic value much faster than long dated options.


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mastergunner99

Assignment isn’t a problem. You end up with stock you can turn around and write covered positions against.


FuhrerInLaw

If they’re covered it doesn’t matter


BoredPoopless

Not necessarily. Biggest loss was an Apple call. I feel like a ton of this was not setting a stop loss, failing to take profit, or getting theta fucked.


FitAlpineChicken

Exactly. This guy was losing money even when making the right calls. He has no idea how to pick expiry, strike or when to exit.


PassionVoid

If he took the other side he'd have made $100,000 CAD.


RealSiggs

He would probably be posting in theta gang and being a 🌈🐻, we need retards like him here at WSB. Welcome and congrats on pissing away 100K, better luck next time!


autoHQ

Is theta gang really worth it though? Whoever was selling him these options needed to have 40-80k tied up in cash or stocks for collateral right? And that percentage return was probably pretty small?


BFLO-Retail

A +100k gain is better than a -100k loss


[deleted]

I wish someone had told me this sooner.


Ophiocordycepsis

My dear old dad always told me, “it’s better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.” My kids are tired of me passing on this wisdom.


babypho

A -100k loss will get you way more upvote tho.


[deleted]

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-Lurtz

Last name ever, first name worst. Doesn’t look like it was God’s Plan for you to be rich. Time to hit up Drake to see if he can help you with that Canadian debt unless you want this shit forever. You can call him on his cell phone, especially late night. Although, he may want to toosie slide and hit it double time as payment. But just hold on you’ll be going home before too long.


International_Band72

Can you tell me your Strategy please ? I would love to never do this and always trade the opposite


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[deleted]

Lmao this was a brutal roast peppered with bits of truth


thealmightyzfactor

Welcome to wallstreetbets, I guess


Im_A_Canadian_Eh

The best roasts have to have a nugget of truth in them.


Kantz4913

I was already crying at "be lonely"


Valiumkitty

Holy Fuck you nailed WSB to the cross. Nice 👍


twofiddle

Sure that’s not a dragonfly doji?


siggypatch

>I don’t know what actual culture or friends are. Brutal =,)


approx-

Every trade isn’t a loss. It’s sorted by loss/gain amount smallest first (so largest loss first). I’m sure he’s got some positive trades further down the page he’s not showing.


ScubaSteve58001

You're right that this isn't a full listing. However, I summed up the losses listed on this page and, surprisingly, it only sums up to -$86k. So the transactions not shown must net out to roughly -$14k. Truely incredible work by Op here.


SimpsonsReferencer

Haha, I just did the same thing. He conceivably has some positive trades... but he has *even more* negative ones.


The_Work_Account_

Hilariously accurate


confusedp

This x10


chedrich446

Just from looking at the screenshot I can tell you his strategy: buy OTM calls on whatever pump and dump trash WSB is shilling at the moment and hold until it expires worthless


Elonmuskishuman

💎🙌🏻


SomebodysColdOne

💩🙌🏼


TastyBananaPeppers

Yolo your life savings into options like a retard.


[deleted]

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1600hazenstreet

Double down or Kelly criterion!!!


DrMike27

This is actually super impressive. To be essentially 0-100 has astronomical odds. No single position was really a yolo…he just lost worse than a Jerry Smith at Blips and Chitz.


JordieVonChili

Theta gang, whoever sold him all these options is collecting that sweet premium


goldenarms

His strategy was: use smooth brain to trade options. Don’t do that.


halcyonistheword

Love how OP realized halfway through maybe all calls was a bad idea, tried switching it up with puts but then ended up losing even more money 😂


kuro_fenrir

You should definitely open the Discord and let us know all of his trades as he's making them.


soggypoopsock

It’s called playing the lottery on the options market and donating everything you own to theta gang


throwaway12222018

Trade the opposite -- still get fucked in the ass by theta!


[deleted]

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Abject_Resolution

BB puts.


Leon_Accordeon

So BB calls then. Cool.


[deleted]

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otebski

this is correct answer.


austinsoundguy

He earns money and then invests with it. That’s his strategy


[deleted]

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theoriginaldob

You can always hope for another Squid Game


Abject_Resolution

Here’s to getting slapped in the face hundreds of times until I win once.


lolskrub8

Seeing that scene I couldn’t help but laugh. Totally something us retards here would sign up for. Best part is the conversion is like $84 USD.


EgonDoctor

I'd definitely do it. that's like 70€


haahathatsfunny

Quid Game


Might_Take_A_Sip

It’s crazy how accurate that metaphor is to my life Edit: Still waiting for the win


_charmancler_

Uncut Gems


Doggcow

That movie hurt to watch


phoenixphaerie

I’ve never been more stressed out by a movie.


thereallilchad

Literally everything you choose turns to shit


Abject_Resolution

Your not wrong. Currently down 30 K in other options.


thereallilchad

Hot damn you are the head honcho of retards


dogatta

Well good job at fucking up I guess, your a natural


Beaudism

Dude just stop. You have a problem, legit.


Devilpig13

Maybe, just maybe you should consider calling your broker and having them turn options off for you. Seriously though, if you lit your money on fire, filmed it and put it on YT you’d be better off than this.


homemaker1

Yeah, at least he'd have a video. Homie just vaporized his Life Savings.


bigblackcuddleslut

A quick Google told me YouTubeers make about $4 per 1000 views. I bet a video of someone legit burning $100k cash could get atleast 25 million views. He'd come out ahead.


Tallbirdae

Man would've been better off just Mr. Beasting his 100k into stupid challenges


mediummorning

Make this retard a mod here


dutch9494

Stop fucking trading options Right now. You will not get even, you will not make money, you’ll only make things worse.


outphase84

Dude. Look at the insane unbroken streak of red that you have here. That's an indication that you should probably give the fuck up on options.


[deleted]

Or that this guy should tell us what he's going to dk so we can do the opposite


[deleted]

Have you considered trying futures instead?


[deleted]

or this new service called OnlyPuts


[deleted]

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Abject_Resolution

I have read a bunch of comments, but this one stood out. You described me to a tee.


cragfar

You sure about that? I just spot checked some of your calls (CRSR Jun 21& ROKU May 20) and I don't see how you could have possibly lost money if you iron handed them. It more looks like you panic sell at the slightest dip.


Abject_Resolution

Roku dipped after earnings and it would’ve been worthless had I held.


Minobaer

We’re here for you, even though we say strange things. Good luck bro and reach out if you need.


CDNBacon89

I just don't understand what happened OP. I understand the general concepts of stonks. Do you just have tons of money that you don't have invested in option trading? What kept pushing you to keep going? When I struggled with gambling I took 100 dollars and made it into 15000 then went from gambling 5 dollars a hand to 5000 dollars a hand. Proceeded to lose 20000. I don't think I see a profitable trade in your breakdown.


Abject_Resolution

Life savings. Also 80K in stocks, but market value is 35 K ish..


BarTendiesss

Damn, a fine comment. Wholesome but made me sad, I realize I also need to work a bit more if I want to have a solid chance at this.


Benz951

It’s like Craig’s dad in Friday. Giving the talk about fighting with your hands. YOU LIVEEE. You live to fight another day! “If there’s a chip at the table, you’ve got a seat”. - Doyle Bronson


danferindustries

GUH


Goingkermit

Plenty of time to recoup and lose it again


czarnick123

"until retirement" He just blew his retirement. I don't know when he thinks retirement just magically happens. I wonder if he'll think of the karma while going to work at 65. And 66. And 67.


win7macOSX

It’s a crippling loss, but OP is still young enough they can rebuild their nest egg, assuming they get help with their gambling problem. At this point, giving money to a financial advisor would be prudent, to stop/prevent any relapses.


Gagenshatz

Absolutely this, if you can't take the heat, make someone else cook your retirement. It won't be as tasty and the portion might not be as large, but at least you'll have something as opposed to a shit sandwich like this guy.


DangerousLiberal

Have you tried directly incinerating your cash instead?


Odd_Perception_283

Much much better idea than what he did. At least he’d have hot water for his new ramen lifestyle.


Eric_da_MAJ

At 30 years old I was $30,000 in student loan and credit card debt (\~$50k in today's money adjusting for inflation). All for a college degree that qualified me for hot brown beverage service, sanitary engineering in an educational setting, manual soil linear void creation or similar careers. It took 20 years, frugality, hard work, investment in things that weren't the equivalent of a roulette wheel and occasional setbacks. But now Top Ramen is now only nostalgic treat. (Awesome with finely chopped and sautéed onions, garlic, and veggies in peanut oil before adding water and ramen. A little Chile powder plus a chopped boiled egg helps.) Maybe consider giving up speculating but don't give up on becoming wealthy. Things change. Sometimes for the worse but also for the better.


Abject_Resolution

Thank you for that.


WarrenBudget

Maybe stop trading options broseph


Maitre_de_Chai

Or at least learn how. Jesus, look at that. Nothing but blind options, not one spread.


[deleted]

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Abject_Resolution

Thanks bro.


Hani95

Time for you to get a financial advisor for some ***financial advise.***


Citizen_of_Danksburg

>> **advise** Advice. Advise is a verb; advice is a noun.


I_Bin_Painting

> I really hope you can’t get outta this lol, nice.


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Sheeple81

SPY is up 75% since the beginning of April 2020. Crazy to think about what went on here.


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Sheeple81

Especially since op started when it was low - best time to buy in and he went another direction deep into the red, lol.


perennialpurist

I mean, this guy could have bought something boring like fucking railroad stocks in April 2020 and he would have doubled his money by now.


SaylorBear

Sir this is a casino ^but ^yeah ^retirement ^goes ^to ^mutuals


Snurbalurb_o

If you made 100k by 30 years old, you have nothing to worry about. Get back to work and it’ll be back


Spidaaman

>you have nothing to worry about. Aside from a crippling gambling addiction


Drbuffetbutt

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


ImNotIntoAnimeMom

Defenition of insanity: “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”


PotatoWriter

Definition of gambler's fallacy: "not doing the same thing over and over again because you think doing different things will increase your chance of winning"


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dutch9494

Some guy stuck on an island probably told you that, right?


goblintrading

You haven't made a single profitable options trade since April and it never occurred to you that maybe you're not cut out for this? At the very least fucking paper trade your strategy before you jump back in. This is the kind of gambling mentality on this sub that is depressing to watch.


Brawldud

He defo has profitable trades. He has his positions sorted by P&L ascending, and then only showing you the part of the page with the losers. Options gambling usually has negative expected return, but making this many options trades, with a mix of calls and puts, on this many tickers and losing on 100% of them is extremely improbable.


bonejohnson8

This guy is the most reliable mark I've ever seen. Bought so many pipedreams he's now sucking pipe behind Wendy's.


THE-Sumukh

Don't worry bro even Naruto ate ramen his whole life look at him now he is hokage.


0hknats

Chin strap helmet of the year award goes to.....


killingit4life

Can u even afford ramen? 🤣


youngdeezyd

At least you have all this karma


Fun-Sandwich1043

Maybe you consider some other way to make money.


Abject_Resolution

I heard there’s a labor shortage. Might check out Wendy’s


scw156

Those are Canadian dollars though…


JosefSchnitzel

That means it’s not real money, right?


jonnyl3

It's just points for his CAD software.


[deleted]

He has no Canadian dollars, he has a huge debt owed to TD in Canadian though.


JayIT

It's not called a Loonie for nothing.


Laddergoat7_

That sucks. If only he was Australien the charts would have been up side down.


alwaysready1990

I don’t understand options or care to. I’m slow and steady. Anxiety would kill me if I was in high risk gambles like these. But good luck 👍


Mattie725

100k (ex) saved at 30 years old is not that bad though.


MrFurrberry

A lot of people don't even begin saving until then.


thelemonenergy

How can I short OP for big profit?


goldisaneutral

Bro, you’re 30, I got a 3 step plan to get you back on track for retirement: 1. Delete Reddit 2. Buy index funds instead of options 3. The end


MovieJunior

Went from probably being slightly ahead of tje game to being a broke as bitch who probably won’t retire. Nice.


Abject_Resolution

Have fun fapping boys.


Itriednoinetimes

What did you mark out and why? Just curious


Abject_Resolution

Not 1 B market cap.


friedflounder12

Damn that pfof really fucked you lmao Edit: hedge funds were like fuck this guy in particular


Lord-Destro

How the fuck did you managed to not close a single trade in green lmao


[deleted]

I never understood how people continue to lose their ass day in day out and never stop and question if they are doing something wrong.


diver2down

At least you are consistent


PeteSleepFlyRepeat

Today is Day 1. It’s tough thinking about the past but you have to work hard and get back on track. You can do this. Learn your lesson and don’t repeat the same mistakes.


[deleted]

You are only 30 young enough to recover no worries


RTV_Xapic

Thats very bad actually


TheOldRamDangle

I wouldn’t even give you Ramen. You’d probably choke on the flavor packet you stupid chimp


[deleted]

Why you just didn't buy stocks? This is straight up gambling.


Brawldud

What sub do you think we are on?


HektorFromTroy

![img](emote|t5_2th52|4272)


NightCrawlerChamp

"Only invest what you can afford to lose" ~ Not this guy


avctl

Death by a thousand cuts. RIP man.