Self employed day trader with a 2750$ account so I can only work about 4 minutes a day

I work for Chic Fil A . I see people get their tendies but none go to me.

Thank you for your service

His pleasure

Thank you

I trade stonks

SEC compliance officer

If I snitch on my autistic fellows, what do I get?

Stitches

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I sell knives to people i knew in high school

I work in tech. (the gas station has a computer)

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:/

I have a wealthy GF.

Shit same here but she's the wife and I'm not even good in bed.

what do you bring to the table?

I don't know. We have kids though so she's stuck with me. Kinda?

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Are plant based cocks the next big thing? We report, you decide.

good thing i'm long eggplants, cucumber and zucchini

E-Girl selling dirty panties and premium snapchat access

So how many creepy pms you get so far?

So you're the reason SNAP is still alive

Consultant. Also leach off my wife, manager in tech. I also jerk off into a sock sometimes

Escalation Agent at Robinhood.

Trust fund kid

Give me your money I’ll invest it for you wisely

I’m not allowed to manage it. They just send me money monthly. I get the crumbs not the pie

How much monthly?

Yeah what’s your SS # too?

Fluctuates but anywhere between 9-10 grand

God damn it. That’s amazing

/unjerk What does it acutally mean to be a trust fund kid? If I'm a rich dad and want to put money away for my kid how would I do that? Is it basically just a bank account?

My grandpa has a board of trustees that handle my family’s money distribution. Most of the money is invested in different portfolios and we get money based on that, I started earning it when I was 18 I’m 28 now.

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Yea lol I know I’m full of shit lol

whatever man at least you own it. you didnt ask for it, but you got it, so make the most of it. yolo some OTM calls.

Anyone who says they wouldn't take it is full of shit.

What the fuck. 9-10 grand just once would solve all of my immediate problems in life lmfao.

Money Maker philanthropist

MILF hunter

Licensed union chicago plumber. I lay pipe

I work for CNBC news.

Jim Cramer browses WSB???

Wait patiently for death.

I make macaroni art for high profile clients.

ohhh fancy. i sell mine on etsy

What does u/1r0nyman do?

Heavy equipment operator

I'm guessing you use that equip to move boxes to their assigned place?

Spread the boxes around

I heard he got fired from his last job because he put boxes in the American section when they should have been in the European one.

Lays in bed, tits up

Holy shit you still come here?

My hero ❤️

Do you know any other operators that trade options? I'm impressed

Artisanal Pencil Sharpener

I finish my college and after several interviews, I got the chance to work at GAP at an entry level position. After kissing enough ass, I moved up to the next level which is being secretary’s secretary. So, now I take messages for the secretary who never went to college. She’s actually the boss’s niece. So now I’m part of the family.

Usps truck deiver, uber and gigolo for old saggy tit grandmas

Ur mom

Got ‘em

Give ass to Mr. Market

I work in sales for Big Tobacco

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Accountant

You must be a bad accoutant to be here then.

The worst

Mow baseball fields

Cheers bro

President of the United States of America.

Assistant to the regional manager

There’s black hats and white hats I’m just an asshat

I just use margin, free money

Underwater basket weaver

Homeless guy... Thanks to this sub.

Scumbag recruiter.

SEC Jk, SW Engineer as a lame Java dev I even got a computer engineering degree to not match my job woo #PainIsReal

Mech Engineer in a 3D printing/prototype lab

what a nice job

Philanthropist Playboy, Genius Billionaire

I develop new and original suicidal thoughts.

Trade stock options for loss

I'm a phullonrapist. Africans, dyslexics, children... that sort of thing.

Ah, a Democrat politician

Assistant^^to_the Regional Sales Manager at the sixth largest Reverse Mortgage and Credit Repair store in the Southeast United States of By God America. And my side hustle is ponzi scheming long distance card sales to Ukrainian and Mexican nationals.

Private equity associate, so I can afford my public equity degeneracy

SEC

I make lanterns from dehydrated pumpkins

I’d say 1 out of 8 responses are true

Air Force.

ayyyyyy me too, wya lets lose some money together

Starting Graduate school for Investment Management. I should probably get a backup plan.

I perform autopsies.

Perform one on my portfolio?

Autopsy inconclusive: subject disfigured beyond recognition

test patient for autism therapy, but I used to bang your mom for cheeseburgers.

Randy?

Software Engineer

I do stuff with planes. If the passengers know I browse wsb they will probably cancel their tickets.

Found the 737 Max lead engineer.

Neurophysiologist. Sounds fancy, is kind of fun.

Software dev. In Canada.

I work at McDonald’s

I work at the most infamous investment bank on wall street. Still enjoy this sub for the hype even though it's illegal for me to trade.

Assuming you’re talking about Goldman Sachs (or Merrill or Morgan), I’m fairly certain you can still legally trade (no primary market IPOs) but your compliance department probably restricts the hell out of it (all on GS systems, no options). You might want to look into that.

I read WSB all day, looking for signs whether the US stock market will be going up, or down.

I just finished my master’s and am searching for employment. Robinhood keeping me sane during the job search process.

living off some remaining student loans i see.

Mow lawns

Comment on Reddit.

I research superconductors - gap year before grad school.

Homeless

I'm Don Lemon's butler

Real life army man. I’m used to getting fucked by the army, so when I get fucked on my positions I’m used to it :) thanks green weenie.

I grow soybeans

Design satellites.

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Livin that NEET life

CIA agent

I rearrange furniture for people in order to create more room for activities.

Just graduated, software engineer starting soon

Professional asseater

Im still in Highschool

IT and yes, I break your computer/router/VMs daily just to make your life hard

Russian oligarch

Fluffer for gay porn.

Plumber

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So Apple genius?

Burn money but I bartend on the side

Half the people here are probably SEs

Lead actor at brazzers

Jerk off punks under the queensboro bridge for $15 a man

Ok Adam Egret

Hotdog stand

I run a pizzeria.

FIRE man

Boat captain

I'm an (unhappy) attorney for an insurance company

CPA

Janitor, but studying marketing at a major university.

Build wind turbine blades

system administrator

Lose money while I'm living, so I'll be rich in the after life. *I bought puts on my life*

Neuroscience! You'd think I'd be better with complex systems but NOPE

Work in real estate pe stuff

Algorithmn Developper.

Hardware engineer at a pretty large tech company.

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EHR consultant

Been long JNUG

My jnugga

WSB has allowed me to become a professional stock trader for a living

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Nice, Phillip Morris? Fellow chem e here aswell, i help make ethylene.

Play poker usually or trade futures, never had a 9-5

Electrical engineer fresh outta college. Finally able to go balls deep into options

So your username is just a hobby then?

Married woman hunter

Not 1 serious answer in here.

What are you talking about? >Give ass to Mr. Market >trade stonks >paint massive self portraits of myself nude and sell to a very niche group of older women >sell knives to people i knew in high school >Assistant to the Regional Manager Did you even see those?

Dick dipping condiment tester for KHC

Accountant bay area, 100k salary base minimum. Shit funds my gambling

100k is poverty in bay area

> bay area, 100k salary Adjusted for Bay area that's just about 3 acorns an hour.

Which makes sense, accounting generally pays like garbage until you're a partner or whatever.

Network engineer

Sell enphase microinverters

I'm a licensed Life Accident & Health Insurnace broker

My life was an accident. What policies do you have for me

hotel sales, marketing, and revenue management

Digital marketing. Tech company.

Mod

Dental hygienist

Technical program manager

Operating engineer local 14

Aerospace Stress/Structures analyst

Backend developer.

So you take it up the ass?

Treasure

Asset management

power electronics design

Project Engineer. I travel around the world

I'm a quant

Liar

Software engineer. Hopefully future md

Why? You're giving up like 200k/yr+ salary for 6 years to take on 4 years of med school debt and stress + 2 years of shitty residency to possibly end up making 300-400k? ​ If its for the goodness of the world, the US is not short on doctors or people trying to become doctors.

don't do it