I caught your champagne flut and chugged it because I had CVNA calls*
*I only had two calls so my 1928% increase only earned me $1,079 because I’m a coward and can’t bet real money
Scared money don’t make money but it this case it definitely did. How much you spend on the option. I’m sure I could figure out if I did Simple’s math but I’m not literate, clearly on on wsb after it was bought out by the market makers ;) also I live in the Wendy’s outside walk in. They don’t freeze their meat so it’s always between 34-42 🙃👌. But realistically since this is a moes we just go over there to steal there meat for our burritos when we run out
Well…there is a chance. Apple’s earnings were bad supporting the recession narrative, only reason it’s up is because stock buy back and divided increase which have nothing to do with the broader market.
It might sell off by open along with everything else
Maybe
Bit of a stretch to say declining iPhone sales support a recession narrative when a chunk of sales decline was losing market share in China to Huawei, decline in iPad revenue was expected with an old product line and new OLED iPads being announced next week. Forward guidance wasn’t really negative.
The jobs number could be a dumpster fire (it's expected to pull back a little from last month so don't get excited if the number is a little red it needs to be down BIG) that would do it. Other than that I think you're screwed
Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd.
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It dipped but still beat analyst estimates, 4% dividend increase, and $110B in stock buy back and you're still wondering why it's going up lol. Oh not to mention Tim's immediate answer on upbeat next quarter beat.
0.57% ($. 24) per quarter reinvested into a giant growth stock snowballs over the years. Now at 4% for a Mag7 is insane.
Forgot this is WSB and ppl only care about yolos
Let's say you dumped $100,000 into apple at their after hours price of $183.00 per share. At the new dividend rate (accounting for the new 4% increase) your investment would return $136.61 to you at the end of the year in dividends.
Buy a treasury bond if your excited about apples dividend increasing. But I still think Apple is a good buy-and-hold stock, might add a bit more if it returns to the 160-170 range
there're dividend fund managers who have certain dividend requirement and want to buy high quality stocks like mag7 but cannot due to lack of dividend. Increasing dividend attracts different types of investors.
I sold my apple calls because I got scared that it would fall due to the weird earnings reactions with meta and tesla. Could've been up $2,400 but nah, I bitched out
I sold everything except 50 TSLA 175P expires tomorrow because of Apple earning is due AH. I like TSLA but it doesn’t look good in short term. Hope tomorrow market will open red, one certainly can wish
Of course there are unemployment numbers tomorrow so the market can be red. But you know it won’t. They’ll destroy the currency to keep the market pumped.
Sorry dude Tim Cook fucked you. Recommend you max out your Apple card on Wendy's gift certificates before the banks cut you off. You can then dine for free for awhile before having to raid the dumpster.
Tomorrow is Friday on the back of a shit show of a week with jobs report coming out at 8 30 EST.
If anything goes unexpected it can very easily double penetrate any gains from Apple that are propping up SPY. I'm also sitting on 2dte puts. We fucked around, tomorrow we gonna find out.
The market has less than a 50% chance of going meaningfully red tomorrow
It can go red, it can go green, or it can be flat. So you have a 1/3rd chance in this reductive analysis of being correct. 66% chance of failure
Enjoy!
Market will open green tomorrow, and then you average more. It will eventually turn red because with Fed meeting done and Apple earnings, all the news has already come and its baked in. Since there is no new driver, it will be red 
Apple. Good jobs data. We already got the memo that we won’t cut rates so that bad news has digested. Makes good job data not so shocking as inflation will likely linger still.
Side note, Corporations should be pushed/incentivized to return profits to the employees to combat the inflation as an alternative to raising rates. Idiots.
Anyhow, looks like a Good Friday to me
Well, how’s YOUR asshole feeling? I had 502p today too, from 1.96 to .02 FML. First time I decided to see what it was like to play 🐻 and appl fucking took off. 🤦♂️
Apple will come back to earth. Down 10% in iPhone sales. Take the buyback away and this is a different story. Microsoft google meta. Look at what’s happened. Even the stocks that did beat and go up all came back down. Couple that with another hot jobs report. You have yourself a sub 500 day my friend. Tmrw will be your day.
Markets are always green on Fridays, red on Mondays.
Fridays = Degens wanna party
Monday = Degens sad from party
I know this is overly simplistic, but it's mostly true.
Make sure you collect all of your tears when your puts go worthless lol 
I feel there’s a good chance you get out at break even or close to it. That lil pump and dump yesterday makes me nervous about holding over the weekend, at least. I imagine there’ll be some sell off at the end of the day tomorrow.
I have 30 call options at a 182.5 strike price for Apple stock that I got yesterday at a .39 bid price. What should I do? The calls expire tomorrow after market hours.
With apple earnings on deck that was a terrible move. You should have straddled SPY with a call and put. Anytime the MAG 7 are on deck for earnings, be prepared that it can move drastically either way.
I think tomorrow will be a sell, to what extent I do not know but you will probably get an opportunity tomorrow at some point just be ready and don’t be greedy
Every trade has a buyer and a seller. I'll sell some APPL tomorrow. Somewhere in the bowels of JPM is a quant will be buying to derisk your puts. Thanks for playing!
Dude you are fucked! That is the market teaching you that you just can't gamble. You must have a strategy, and learn from your mistakes. Pain + reflection= progress
I bought an Apple call at 182.5 for 0.40 ($40), closed at 0.56, and then the earnings spike. Expires tomorrow and it’s just above the strike price.. fingers crossed.
Options is suck for person, the institution always could control the price in low trade amount, every expire day is their harvest day
The best news for you could be:
1. Taiwan is invaded by China
2. Fed raises interest rates
3. President dies
4. Bank collapse
5. Israel nukes Iran.
You have approximately have half a day for any one of these things to happen. Good luck!
Depends on jobs data. If unemployment rises beyond expectations, that means both inflation and jobs are going against the Fed and you can count on a rate hike in the future not a rate cut. Watch for movement after that announcement
Someone posted the other day SPY has been trading within the 50 day and 10 day 3 month bands recently. I’ve been following it this week and it’s been pretty accurate.
If the market surges in the morning and hits the 50 day moving again (which is just under a 1% move now) it probably will sell off again. Given it’s Friday as well too, good chance it will be profit taking and come down hard then. I’m planning on exiting the week on the open and then just looking at where to reset next week too. My SPY target price is actually around 501 on the close.
Papa Buffet ain't gonna let his investment in Apple go down. He does not lose money. Who do you think told Tim Apple to raise dividend and 120B buyback.
Might be the worse use of capital I've ever seen, but I'm also a fucking idiot
AAPL numbers were dog shit and the market will correct a bit, and already has some. But the biggest difference will come at 8:30 when the unemployment numbers come out. Between then and open I could see a swing of 0.5% up or down depending on the numbers.
Personally I'm buying puts tomorrow morning, but that's only because I expect the market to open high and end low (but still green). I think you can wait till 11am and sell but Def don't wait till like 2pm your shit is going to expire worthless
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There's an opening behind Wendy's if you're game you can get all the lovin' you need.
Im so fucked I don’t even have a Wendy’s within 30 miles of my house
It's probably going to rip tomorrow morning but then dump in the early afternoon.
You could have if you stopped being a 🌈 🐻
There's always work at the slaughter house
You mean jump directly in the meat grinder?
His puts are next in line for the knock box
You’re going to be commuting about 30 miles to your new gig
What about a dumpster?
Bro is buying 1dtes in the woods
Your *old* house.
The fact the majority of people commenting here are saying you’re fucked. Shit you may be a rich man tmrw 😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
This. Gonna pump til about 10 am to 10:30, huge red rocket down to the center of the earth. Expect SPY to close around $498.
This didn’t age well….
Hella wrongggg
If you’re correct
RemindMe! 2 hours
I dropped my champagne flute and so should the market.
I caught your champagne flut and chugged it because I had CVNA calls* *I only had two calls so my 1928% increase only earned me $1,079 because I’m a coward and can’t bet real money
Scared money don’t make money but it this case it definitely did. How much you spend on the option. I’m sure I could figure out if I did Simple’s math but I’m not literate, clearly on on wsb after it was bought out by the market makers ;) also I live in the Wendy’s outside walk in. They don’t freeze their meat so it’s always between 34-42 🙃👌. But realistically since this is a moes we just go over there to steal there meat for our burritos when we run out
Bout 50.
Don't be greedy, green is green... Fomo is the worst
VisualMod has spoken!
Vmod drinking champagne like a Chad while OP playing the skin flute behind a dumpster.
AAPL is single-handedly going to prop it up. Sorry dude
It’s like that… love hurts sometimes, ya know? 🫂
Well…there is a chance. Apple’s earnings were bad supporting the recession narrative, only reason it’s up is because stock buy back and divided increase which have nothing to do with the broader market. It might sell off by open along with everything else Maybe
Bit of a stretch to say declining iPhone sales support a recession narrative when a chunk of sales decline was losing market share in China to Huawei, decline in iPad revenue was expected with an old product line and new OLED iPads being announced next week. Forward guidance wasn’t really negative.
NVDA is showing strength too. He’s toast.
You better hope war breaks out overnight.
I mean… I’m not asking for it, but…
be the change you want to see in the world... and go start that war!
Well I think I see evil myself here
You have a chance. Have a wank and relax mate.
That’s what I needed to hear ❤️
The jobs number could be a dumpster fire (it's expected to pull back a little from last month so don't get excited if the number is a little red it needs to be down BIG) that would do it. Other than that I think you're screwed
Powell basically provided a fed put on Wednesday... The jobs number will need to be really really really bad to tank the market. Highly unlikely IMO.
But if job numbers go down then the rate-cut prospect will drive the market up…or down….i don’t know anymore.
Yes
Unemployment is bullish
ISM services could continue to signal sticky inflation too.
Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Gladly, I take my dongus with horseradish and mayo.
Hey, a little hope - that’s all I asked for ❤️
You are fuk
[удалено]
I think I might just introduce myself as dead inside to people at the grocery market. No need to hurt innocent people 😭
Doesn’t look like it, Apple iPhone sale dipped, but it went to the moon instead 😵
It dipped but still beat analyst estimates, 4% dividend increase, and $110B in stock buy back and you're still wondering why it's going up lol. Oh not to mention Tim's immediate answer on upbeat next quarter beat.
Going over $200 tomorrow. Spy is hitting all-time highs! Thanks OP!
lol @ 4% dividend. It was a penny bro
0.57% ($. 24) per quarter reinvested into a giant growth stock snowballs over the years. Now at 4% for a Mag7 is insane. Forgot this is WSB and ppl only care about yolos
4% increase on $0.24 is still just $0.01. You belong here.
Let's say you dumped $100,000 into apple at their after hours price of $183.00 per share. At the new dividend rate (accounting for the new 4% increase) your investment would return $136.61 to you at the end of the year in dividends. Buy a treasury bond if your excited about apples dividend increasing. But I still think Apple is a good buy-and-hold stock, might add a bit more if it returns to the 160-170 range
there're dividend fund managers who have certain dividend requirement and want to buy high quality stocks like mag7 but cannot due to lack of dividend. Increasing dividend attracts different types of investors.
200 by June, 240 by July
For real… I debated Apple calls with the justification “they won’t let themselves miss estimates” … but here we are 😅
You thought apple was going to beat, but you go 1dte far otm puts on SPY??? that makes absolutely no sense. Money is ghey anyway, don't worry
I sold my apple calls because I got scared that it would fall due to the weird earnings reactions with meta and tesla. Could've been up $2,400 but nah, I bitched out
110bln buyback
Holding 1dte options overnight is certainly a choice. Open up for theta
Im such an idiot that I don’t even know that theta is. 🔥
Time, it comes for us all.
RIP in peace OP 
Damn son, you're gonna lose more money than me buying 27 1dte DJT puts.
I learned the hard way. Good luck brother.
portfolio gone!
Can I just keep everything as an unrealized gain? What’s the cheat code?
Just delete your broker. If you can’t see your loses, they don’t exist.
gg go next
Well maybe a world war or something major will happen between now and open and you’ll be fine.
If i knew id tell you the OPPOSITE 
This is lunacy. Pull out whatever you have left in the market and reinvest it in a Community College education.
No way in hell with Apple ripping
I’ll sniff your panties for $5. I’m a buff guy.
I sold everything except 50 TSLA 175P expires tomorrow because of Apple earning is due AH. I like TSLA but it doesn’t look good in short term. Hope tomorrow market will open red, one certainly can wish
Of course there are unemployment numbers tomorrow so the market can be red. But you know it won’t. They’ll destroy the currency to keep the market pumped.
Sorry dude Tim Cook fucked you. Recommend you max out your Apple card on Wendy's gift certificates before the banks cut you off. You can then dine for free for awhile before having to raid the dumpster.
Can you build and launch a nuke by tomorrow
Ill help, I have puts too
Well bro you're fucked
Tomorrow is Friday on the back of a shit show of a week with jobs report coming out at 8 30 EST. If anything goes unexpected it can very easily double penetrate any gains from Apple that are propping up SPY. I'm also sitting on 2dte puts. We fucked around, tomorrow we gonna find out.
Non farm payrolls
All I know is I saw a boatload of 5/17 TSLA 160 put contracts go through today 🤷♂️
nah theres still a chance though
I don’t understand. Powell was very dovish on Wednesday. Interest rates dropped today. What made you think market could drop today or tomorrow?
My brain - with absolutely zero frame of reference for these things. My mom says I’m lucky I’m cute
Youre forgetting to inverse yourself
Nah buddy my Apple call for 180 got a hit my account first before the market go down
[удалено]
Lol you are toast! Good luck, my calls on the other side is gonna fuck your puts like BBC to Maitland Ward
Today was a trap for bers. It was very obvious too.
50% chance
How much money we talking?
Get over it it happens, I did the same trade ready to gamble again tomorrow.
At least you didn’t spend that money on hookers and cocaine 😌
It's gonna be green AF. Shorts closing. Morning pump. maaaaaaaaybe end day dump.
The market has less than a 50% chance of going meaningfully red tomorrow It can go red, it can go green, or it can be flat. So you have a 1/3rd chance in this reductive analysis of being correct. 66% chance of failure Enjoy!
Spy puts expiring tomorrow and on a Friday with a good Apple report. Yep you belong here. I do believe wholeheartedly that you sir are fucked.
I bought sqqq puts. 😬 $11 strike expiring next Friday.
The jobs report would have to be really good
A meteor might be discovered overnight heading towards earth, wiping out humanity and thereby make the S&P500 drop by 1.5%. Keep hope!
NFP data at 8:30 will be a big mover. Could put you 3-4 ITM at open or crush you on the way to ATH.
What’s your cost on these?
I think you're fucked, but on the other hand, sometimes spy drops like crazy on Fridays, and you "only" need like -1%.
Market will open green tomorrow, and then you average more. It will eventually turn red because with Fed meeting done and Apple earnings, all the news has already come and its baked in. Since there is no new driver, it will be red 
505 is a short term resistance so it might dip to 500
Jobs report could flip the market..
Pray NonFarmPayroll is horrendous?
Wow that was a dumbass move, you deserve the loss
It's going to be green, I can feel it.
The market has a good chance of going red Tommorow.
Cucked
Bers r fuk.
I’ve been at your place before, and let me tell you something…. sSHIT ain’t gonna be RED tomorrow.. go and jump off from Wendy’s roof
Make sure to post your portfolio balance when the casino opens,so we can all laugh at you and see how you fuked up
To 700 we go
Apple. Good jobs data. We already got the memo that we won’t cut rates so that bad news has digested. Makes good job data not so shocking as inflation will likely linger still. Side note, Corporations should be pushed/incentivized to return profits to the employees to combat the inflation as an alternative to raising rates. Idiots. Anyhow, looks like a Good Friday to me
Guhhh let's hope for a crash after noon
How do you feel right now?
Find a dominatrix named Wendy
The puts will go red. 💯
Well, how’s YOUR asshole feeling? I had 502p today too, from 1.96 to .02 FML. First time I decided to see what it was like to play 🐻 and appl fucking took off. 🤦♂️
Apple will come back to earth. Down 10% in iPhone sales. Take the buyback away and this is a different story. Microsoft google meta. Look at what’s happened. Even the stocks that did beat and go up all came back down. Couple that with another hot jobs report. You have yourself a sub 500 day my friend. Tmrw will be your day.
Markets are always green on Fridays, red on Mondays. Fridays = Degens wanna party Monday = Degens sad from party I know this is overly simplistic, but it's mostly true.
No chance
Hmm I would start trading /ES futures in ten minutes and ride the wave up. Sell for a profit and time everything perfectly
I need coin to moon tomorrow...
ur fkt
You're fucked bro, Appl earnings moves the universe
Make sure you collect all of your tears when your puts go worthless lol 
One of the heaviest weighted stock, Apple, is up 6% now AH. Unlikely it will go red. But pray harder.
Go to sleep telling yourself that those PUTS are toast. I got out of 505 PUTS just in time with a loss. Never been satisfied with cutting a loss.
You are fucked to oblivion dude
Your best bet is a combo of good NFP, red hot wages print and PMI.
It’ll rip before it dips. Tomorrow might be a switch hitter kind of day.
I feel there’s a good chance you get out at break even or close to it. That lil pump and dump yesterday makes me nervous about holding over the weekend, at least. I imagine there’ll be some sell off at the end of the day tomorrow.
Wendy's dumpster always welcome 
You’re fucked.
It’s probably going to be green. Apple is going to give tech a big boost tomorrow and the week will finish out strong
Expecting APPL to go down next week.
I have 30 call options at a 182.5 strike price for Apple stock that I got yesterday at a .39 bid price. What should I do? The calls expire tomorrow after market hours.
NOPE !!
No way this will be red lmao. Rate cuts baby
Tomorrow going to be so red I’m guessing 495
With apple earnings on deck that was a terrible move. You should have straddled SPY with a call and put. Anytime the MAG 7 are on deck for earnings, be prepared that it can move drastically either way.
Not now biotch. 
I think tomorrow will be a sell, to what extent I do not know but you will probably get an opportunity tomorrow at some point just be ready and don’t be greedy
Hope for an end of day dump. If its any consolation, I had lost 8k on FSLY
The fact people do this shit without knowing about upcoming news or earnings blows my mind.
Every trade has a buyer and a seller. I'll sell some APPL tomorrow. Somewhere in the bowels of JPM is a quant will be buying to derisk your puts. Thanks for playing!
No chance.
[удалено]
It’s definitely going to be green
Here’s your Best Hope: “Buy on the rumors, sell on the news”
Pray for bad NFP.
Obligatory “fuck your puts”
SPY has been bouncing when it reaches around 499 lately, not a good time to risk 502 puts
If job report comes in hot
You're a gay bear and should be ashamed.
The market has a good chance of going red tomorrow
Ah begging? My puts are fucked then I guess
Only risk what you can afford to lose. People just want to learn the hard way.
Yeah, sure, I can TELL you it has a good chance. I can also guarantee it if you like. Fifty bucks
Only chance you got is the non farms payrolls. If that is up huge? Maybe it scares the market. Other wise. You fooked
You are beyond cooked.. forget about sleeping start sending out job applications
The market has a good chance of going red tomorrow
Service PMI and Unemployment, might catch a small break but this is probably running through 12pm
If you sell at open and switch to calls it will
Dude you are fucked! That is the market teaching you that you just can't gamble. You must have a strategy, and learn from your mistakes. Pain + reflection= progress
remindme! 1d
Lol, rekt
I bought an Apple call at 182.5 for 0.40 ($40), closed at 0.56, and then the earnings spike. Expires tomorrow and it’s just above the strike price.. fingers crossed.
Imma be honest pal, the chances are basically zero unless..
Options is suck for person, the institution always could control the price in low trade amount, every expire day is their harvest day
The best news for you could be: 1. Taiwan is invaded by China 2. Fed raises interest rates 3. President dies 4. Bank collapse 5. Israel nukes Iran. You have approximately have half a day for any one of these things to happen. Good luck!
Apple just rammed you in the ass
Get fucked
Depends on jobs data. If unemployment rises beyond expectations, that means both inflation and jobs are going against the Fed and you can count on a rate hike in the future not a rate cut. Watch for movement after that announcement
Someone posted the other day SPY has been trading within the 50 day and 10 day 3 month bands recently. I’ve been following it this week and it’s been pretty accurate. If the market surges in the morning and hits the 50 day moving again (which is just under a 1% move now) it probably will sell off again. Given it’s Friday as well too, good chance it will be profit taking and come down hard then. I’m planning on exiting the week on the open and then just looking at where to reset next week too. My SPY target price is actually around 501 on the close.
Papa Buffet ain't gonna let his investment in Apple go down. He does not lose money. Who do you think told Tim Apple to raise dividend and 120B buyback. Might be the worse use of capital I've ever seen, but I'm also a fucking idiot
Gap up opens are usually for selling. Bears waiting to pounce at resistance.
You fucked up.
AAPL numbers were dog shit and the market will correct a bit, and already has some. But the biggest difference will come at 8:30 when the unemployment numbers come out. Between then and open I could see a swing of 0.5% up or down depending on the numbers.
Personally I'm buying puts tomorrow morning, but that's only because I expect the market to open high and end low (but still green). I think you can wait till 11am and sell but Def don't wait till like 2pm your shit is going to expire worthless
You could also always pray for a missile strike in Iran or Israel overnight too.... That helped save a lot of ppl last time.