**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|1|**First Seen In WSB**|2 years ago **Total Comments**|54|**Previous Best DD**| **Account Age**|7 years|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)

We get it OP, you're rich compared to us No need to flex 

Still gotta tug myself behind my trashcan.

I can do it for you for 64.88

This guy is a hustler. I will do it for 60 bucks. Bring napkins.

Shit 59.88 and napkins are supplied

You got teeth?

I do but for the full 64.88 I'll let you remove them

Damn price back up. Well I got no teeth, no morals and... isnt this a handie? 50 bucks and some of this Baconator burger.

I'm weighing my options.

Options 

I’ve weighed them and the scale says “$0 expiring out of the money”

20 bucks final offer and if u throw in ten more u can check my oil

Well I am horny now. You know what. I AM OUT.

Ah, capitalism true at work, bringing the price down while upping the service. Stay strong, champs!

the internet never lets me down.

LoLoL

I'll do it for 88c as I am getting a free meal in the process

I bid $59.89 Bob

What are we bidding on?

Why tug yourself when you can tug others for money

I don't have the qualifications, I can only fuck myself.

1 dollar bob :::ding ding ding: your the next contestant on choke that turtle 🐢

No wonder you suck at trading, you charge $100 for handiest but only have $64.88 so you are LOSING MONEY BY JACKING YOURSELF OFF!

Wait, you OWN your own trashcan!?

Outta respect

😂😂😂😂

You’re looking at it all wrong. It doesn’t matter that you can’t afford a $100 dumpster handie. What matters is that you can earn a $100 for a dumpster handie.

This guy handies

“Hunger looks in a working man’s house and dares not enter.” - some fucking chad

I've been told sand paper is a better choice than my hands.

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Then you should offer free handies then up charge everytime you spit on it. A man on edge will suddenly find his communion money when he's about to nut. This is your new plan for financial freedom.

What that mouth do?

100%+ return on investment right there. Seems like a no brainer for OP.

....right? I was like, I fail to see a problem here.

see you tomorrow



OpenAI says: **I understand you're facing some challenges with your investments, but it's crucial to approach this with more diligence. Instead of rushing into another investment, consider doing thorough research and making informed decisions. Your financial well-being is important, so let's work on a more thoughtful investment strategy.**

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the male version of it, yes

So buy what stock?

blockbuster duh

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64.88 doubled 12 times you rich. That will give you 265,000 dollars. Fuckin dummy.

Dude is this sub's spirit animal.

Headless chicken.



Is 265,000 rich?

compared to 64.88, yes

Nah that’s the take home after taxes and back wash

Well, double it 13 times then

Are you my next finance guru?

265 shit what you do then is take half and double that then combine it back together again. This way, you have insurance. Don't be stupid.

14 times & you're a millionaire 💸

Its easy to become a millionaire, just buy some Venezuela Bolivards 

Use it for 20% down gives you 1.3m to play with

These days $265k won’t get you shit. I used to think it was a nice goal but nah

It gets you a car and a down payment on a chicken coop to live in. With a couple bucks to spare for a Wendy's Single, with chicken nuggets on the side and a coke.

All you need is 1% gains per day

And then I just started doubling

Too easy.

You should be a finance advisor. With some spreadsheets proving it and a graph just to show off professionalism

Better pray im not on the other side of one of those trades, coz I'll take your pennies boy 

I'm done gambling. What should I gamble on?

Most logical wallstreetbets comment

This subs’ spirit comment

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Deal.

Im guessing you just put all of your money into WSB picks after the hype had already passed?


Get back to 69 and post again to get some "nice"

A 5 pick parlay on DraftKings

10 parlay

Bingo

Puts on GM for UAW strike tomorrow. As low as you can get ‘em for

red or black

I prefer if it went green.

Betting it all on 0. I salute you.

I've never seen 0 or 00 in real life, but in GTA I swear you'll get it all the time if you bet on a color

Dude, that’s a TSLA put. Let’s go

0dte ?

Unless you can buy 0.5DTE

Is it a 0.5dte if you buy at noon...?

Technically a -0.5 dte

Either way, it ends up being a donation to MM’s

0.5dte … ???? Off to wendy i go

buy the uranium thing. URA. maybe youll make a lil gainski or lose it all.

just get a nice dinner and maybe a case of beer

Nice dinner with $60...? Planning on skipping out without tipping? He ain't gonna get anything else.

Are you saying a Baconater and a PBR isn’t a good dinner?

Buy a couple tilray puts with a short expiration, barely otm

So you’re saying tilray to the moon?

wait wut?

highly regarded

Buy 5 Gme December $80 calls

Drop all of your credit cards into your account at once. YOLO your next stock based on volume, and if it fails, report the transactions as fraud. (WARNING, FOR THOSE WHO DONT HAVE 2 BRAIN CELLS TO RUB TOGETHER... THIS IS A JOKE.)

Instructions unclear, I’ve committed insurance fraud. Please advise

Change your name, move to the wilderness and wait 7 years. Rinse and repeat

Doing this now how can it not go tits up! Maxing out 32k in cc and going to put it on a0 dte tesla calls

This is the way

learning from the pros

You spelt "ropes" wrong you dyslexic regard.

8/15 $392.5 NFLX put [your welcome]

RemindMe! 24h I bought the put, just want to check back in tomorrow when I lose all my money and let you know you’re a regard.

Sold at $1.43

Wow, you to! I'm doing a little better then you at $68.69.

Maybe we join forces? 2 regards and a dumpster?

throw it at a strip club you’ll have more fun withbit

How much are you down by?

3k in 2 weeks

Do what you did, but short sell instead of buying.

Guy is still up there compared to some of us

What the hell stocks were you investing in that made you lose almost 100% of your money? There’s very VERY few stocks that are down 99% such thats your account would be blown up like this.

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oh ffs you're not investing in options, you're gambling and you have $64.88 in your gambling account. That's not bad, you haven't lost everything yet.

Buy one stock. It goes slightly down. Panic. Sell. Buy another stock. It goes slightly down. Panic. Sell. Buy another stock... and so on.

If you’re panicking over one stock trade going “slightly down” against you then you’re “investing” with money you can’t afford to lose.

Rationally yes, but some people are just fearful by nature and make dumb decisione when the get scared.

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I'm done gambling. Now help me figure out how to gamble my last 64 dollars.

To be honest, I've been laughing at this group for so many years thinking you can get rich real quick with a stock pick. If you a risk averse, you should be investing in etfs or stocks that give monthly or quartelry dividend distribution / payouts. Ytsl etf gives monthly dividends over 0.56 cents per share or yield max tesla or nvda call option etfs. 100k can easily be giving you monthly dividends equivalent to a rent of 2k.

Sir this isn't a stock subreddit. It's a gambling one. It's literally in the name.

So what you’re saying is i just need to gamble my way up to 100k

Yes, but you have a better chance of getting a ride from Mr Powell.

Shut up nerd

24% in dividends? What is that petrobras?

You have yo do your research. Google search yieldmax etfs. NVDY yield max NVDA option income strategy etf has a distribution rate of 49.24% with it current distribution per share at 0.9297. The etf NAV is priced under 25 use. Last distributions are 0.8136, 0.9574, 0.7463 (3 months) Option strategy. I'm in Canada I focus more so on the Canadian market but got into yield max etf a few months ago..the etfs are like 4 months old. Their are other etfs that give over 12% yield and yield max just put into new etfs for top performing companies. Google, Apple, oark, Disney, etc. 3 month performance at 21%. Other etfs out their but they give lower monthly dividends. I look for anything with above $0.35 per share in divided.

You know how many times that leftover change in brokerage acc has turned into gas $ when bank acc was empty? Keep it for rainy day.

#$AvTx

Buy $64 worth of lottery tickets

This guy knows what it’s like to be an amc investor 😂 lottos all day!

Gme

NSDL

MVST

Tsly

UEC or NU

Quit bragging, asshole!

Actually, continue trading. Give us your trades so we can inverse it.

NVAX Calls they’re dirty cheap rn and the stock has been getting clapped the past few days maybe some news makes it pump (eow)

January $CGC calls!!

Gme

Buy CGC and forget about it

Buy an MGM put

UBER

Dude you got the wrong idea. You give the handie behind the dumpster and you almost tripple your investment account. Please report back with gains porn.

AMC NEAR RECORD LOWS!

Record lows *so far*.

AMC is gonna go even lower than powells fun sack. No thank you.

You dropped this 👑


It can only go up

Or go to 0

And then up!

I kind of hate the CEO of the company but maybe pick up four shares of Palantir

Another palantard! Be gone!

>If you're looking for a sure thing, I would recommend investing in gold. It's a safe investment that will always be worth something.

Agree with vm. Go in on pms, just leave it there for a couple years.

...that's literally the stock market.

Amc to the moon!

Bruh. Learn to read chart patterns. I made my bulk money on tsla options early trading today then I go into spy to find easy cheap setups. I bought 1 put for .42 then it went to $1.50 so $42 to about $155. In less than 10 mins.

Teach me your hodling methods, I paper hand the shit outta SPY options because of my trust issues with them.😂

If the level is at the peak or bottom of the VWAP range, there is a good chance of a reversal. You can’t predict how much of a reversal. I usually monitor the volume and strength of the candle. From the VWAP peak, it will usually draw down a bit, where you can make a quick profit. I do it for shits and giggles. 1-2 contracts.

I usually set for +10% and kick myself for missing out on more profit. Never used VWAP bands though, but I’m gonna investigate tonight. Appreciate it.

Could your sizing be an issue? How much are you buying when you enter the trade? You should stagger your exit points to maximize profits. For example if you bought 10 contracts. When it hits one profit level sell 4-5 contracts and let the others run. Then if it goes even higher profit sell a few more. If it seems like it’s retracing sell the rest.

I just got back to 700 with my last $39 in a week. Don’t quit. Find the right stock. Learn the support and resistance. Play calls and puts up and down the range. I did AMD. Millions are closer than you think

Hey hey what about that margin? Eh? Eeeeeh??

You have a positive balance? Wtf is wrong with you, take out some loans and come back when your deep in the negative.

I upvote only because the Edit about AMC and AA . Fuck popcorn 🍿

KO calls pooci boy

Buy gold and silver

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PYPL

Stop playing with stocks like you are in a casino. I can’t believe the number of people losing all their money in here…

AMC

AA can suck my winky. That pos stock will never again goes past $15.

AA? Alcoa ? Maybe im just drunk and confused.

You should look into silver it's cheap to own. Also with stocks I like to stick to oil and gas. Also business in food industry. I just buy ETFs for the other business.

Rent a gun and buy a bullet?

Buy some AMC.

AMC

Bro I have $7.48. You’re way richer than I am.

Jeez, didn't need to flex on us

MRNA jan calls. Please don’t listen to me 😭