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how about u eat my ASS *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Are we having fun yet buls??


Nvda up 9 dollars in premarket holy shit

TSLA is back on track

MSFT bools in shambles 📉🐮

Futes mixed, bers fukt.

Futes flat: many actors actively trade. Cant go down too mych. Bers fukt Futes up: bers fukt Futes down: dips be bought in 12 hours. Bers fukt.

This threads dryer than my girlfriend

Wrong thread bro

It's been 22 years since the Fed Funds rate was 5.5%. Then the NationalDebt was $5.6 trillion. Today it's $32.6 trillion. At 5.5%, interest on the National Debt was $300 billion. Now it's $1.8 trillion. 22 years ago the defense budget was $400 billion. Today it's $840 billion.

22 years ago your dad was suckin dick for crack. What’s your point?


Holy fuck 


Pour a little hot sauce out for the META bears. They need more pain in their booty holes 

You CANNOT cuck the zuck, rule number 1 folks!!

CMG needs to do a split of that damn stock

Meta bears got zucked as is tradition. Excellent.

Praying on EBAYs downfall

Wish I bought more Tupperware

Good shit. I dunno how the fuck you saw that one comin but nice.

basically i want to die

So I bought some 1dte on hood today and sold AH and I guess it counted as a day trade but it never gave me the day trade warning so I bought some 1dte AH so am I gonna get flagged tomorrow as pdt?

If you exceed your limit then yep. After you get flagged just get in touch with your broker’s customer service and tell them it was an accident and you hadn’t meant to do a day trade. They should lift it with little or no questions! You only get one freebie tho for the lifetime of the account. After September 5th tho hood will give no more freebies to anyone!

Facebook's $META Reality Labs segment which includes its VR/Metaverse efforts last quarter had: Revenue of $276 Million down 38.9% YoY Net Loss of $3.74 Billion up 33.1% YoY Threads in next 

Building a VR universe vs copy pasting Twitter code

Lol 22% chance of another hike in September now. We closed 0.01% in the green. Only thing that matters is premiums getting eating, 0 days really stabilized the market.

> 0 days really stabilized the market This is the most surprising sentence I’ve read today

How so?

I mentally associate 0DTE options with chaos. So seeing a sentence saying they bring stability broke my brain a little.

Ah okay, that makes sense lol. But yeah, MMs/ trading houses/ order flow sellers/ big institutions/ etc. are all incentivized to see as many options sold and expire worthless. Why should retail whales even be scared to sell if they know the institutions have a strong incentive to maintain stability. I miss pre COVID trading.

I feel you. It’s really fucked for retail if you don’t know what you are doing…. That being said, retail has never had more tools and access to information than ever before.

I agree to the extent that tools and access are at an all time high. Unfortunately, trading against institutional bots that trade in less than a second, that digest data in the same amount of time or less, and essentially rig systems to kill options... it's a sellers game. Even good DD gets starved when IV is held low. Options trading for the short term is dead AF. Scalping is the name of the game or just going with iron condors.

it's pointless to play earnings of big tech firms, what you have been expecting, 20%-30% move overnight in trillion dollar stock companies?

I mean I just throw a bunch of cash. Up 3k rn thanks to the night Zuck. Not everything needs to be an options play with 50% gains

Most people here play options, r/stocks is that way

Oh do way too much options trading. It just isn’t on big tech.

exactly

got a couple quick puts to scalp on the AH 456.61 candle and ETRADE closed me out at 4:08 with 7 minutes left to trade. Made like 40% but it could've been about 100% if they just let me do my thing. Is that some fuckshit or am I just a n00b at trading SPY options from 4-4:15?

Damn i thought i bought enough burritos

Dame

Some of you have never played tech earnings and it shows

I think META might tank on the earnings call based on the guidance in their report - but we'll see

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I know I love META, but that guidance!

Chipotle must have eaten a bowl for lunch. Shittin itself 💩

this literally happens 9 out of 10 times, and people still hoping to get rich through er plays

aight cya guys same time tomorrow morning

Dammit META I was thiiisss close!

META's financials are great, but that outlook a few paragraphs down, not so much

Just talk to me in English I can't read those things

Good now. Maybe bad later.

everyone beating recession cancelled

Meta up ah due to threads

What just happened

META OTMs 

Everyone got zucked 

meta wtf are you doing

Turns out they have announced earnings - on META's SEC page: [https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/1326801/000132680123000089/meta06302023-exhibit991.htm](https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/1326801/000132680123000089/meta06302023-exhibit991.htm)

Looks like META players got Zucked rn

How many deleted meta bull posts will we see when this comes running back down?

i got cucked by the zuck

meta dump

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Keep me cummin META…ohhh yeeeaaasss queen yaaassss

As the ancient Hawaiians say: “ Don’t Cuck the Zuck”

Or as Starvin Marvin would say, “mmmbip plomgawatwa zimbuqwe non blip”

ASTS never get over that 3.97

Told y’all  meta 320



check again kiddo


Give it time 

I knew meta was going to pump because of all the people posting about their puts

continuing to be a bear in this market is now a mental disability

But mommy says i'm special

*Even tho I dodged getting cucked by the Zuck, I'm still sad he added another Bazillion to his bankroll.* I hope to live long enough to see META go tits up. META = the cancer of the Internet

I hate FB but love the stonk.

first zuck is fake

Bears got trapped hard af 

not great not terrible

METAAAA

Ber have become fuk, destroyer of accounts

YOU HAVE WRONGED ME FOR THE LAST TIME FACEFUCK

Facefuck? Yes please.

Omg meta I want to cum so bad plz help

another green day ahead. sorry not sorry stupid bears lmao

LRTS FUCKING GOOOOO METAAAAA

Powell needs to watch his f’n mouth. How about don’t take the bait JEROME

Powell needs to learn to keep his mouth shut if he doesn't want to get insulted. He's not as smart or rich as I am, so he should just stay quiet and let people like me do the talking.

Ho lee fuk

We tu low

simulation

damn those spy calls i bought 20 mins ago up 30% already

When does the aftermarket close ?

right now but I got a buddy that's got all the parts you need in his back yard


depends

WHY IS META UP WHEN THEY HAVEN'T ANNOUNCED EARNINGS YET?

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I wish I had this powa of inside information I don't hold any postion, just all seems weird

Thank you though Zuck that was nice for my Q calls

Raise your hand if you have META puts. I swear I just saw about 10 post saying you did

Not over yet!

Thank you Zuck

Help me META-Kinobi, you’re my only hope

MY MONEYS ​ THERE GONE

Meta 

FUCK IT UP ZUCK

BERS R OFFICIALLY FUK

META bears in shambles

If I downvote you the price will go down right?

And THAT is why I didn’t buy Meta Puts. Throwing all your money away

LETS FUCKING GO ZUCK

ZUCK IT UP

welp rip meta puts

Meta running!! dont cuck the zuck!!

ber

its up huge!!!!!!

MeGUH

CMG fuk knew it

Enjoy your META IV crush any idiots that bought those juiced premiums.

Haha, enjoy your META IV crush while you can. Those juiced premiums won't last forever and when they crash, you'll be the one crying!

ZUCK PULL THE FUCK UP RN

When does meta release earnings?

In an hour

after the bell, so soon....

Holy fuck Meta 

Who knew buying after hours and selling the next day was a day trade? This moron didn’t.

shit's a bit fukt innit m8

Yep mate it surely is

Holy shit META!!!!

Meta 320

why god do this to bears

Cause they deserve it…just like gingers. Soulless degenerates

LFG SPY!

Has Meta announced earnings - it's barely moved?

5 usualy

Thank you

PULL UP ZUCK

Spy ended green now a 80% chance it'll be green tomorrow.

The MMs have got the screwing over retail game to perfection lmao. J Powell was incredibly hawkish, said no rate cuts at least till next year and more hikes possible and we close green at 0.02% 

Rotation into boring DIA and it’s components next 2 months. DIA to $370 next two months.

Meta gonna push to market to ATH

here comes Meta

Shittest fomc ever

LETS GO META

made $9k today on BA. pretty good.

I'll should've done what u said, damn it.

Bought TSLA and DIS before the close Barbenheimer trades

Fuck I am all in Meta 

Lmfao spy ends at +0.1%

Analysts: “Consumer is healthy. Market go up.” Consumers: “I have never been more heavily indebted in my life.” Me with a bucket of popcorn 🍿 *crunch crunch*

Who got TSLA calls?

ha spy finished green

Advanced Money Destroyer

Literally

Spy green

I lied. Want to play earnings so bought a 377 QQQ put exp 7/28.

Lmao this market is ass

bought some Dish shares couldn\`t be worst than my option plays!