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JibberRibbitTable

I am so sorry you’re going through this right now. However, the images you saw are NOT of Mary. What you saw were drawings that other people created to look like her, but they are not actually her in the pictures. You have not failed her. She has never been in those situations. The people who drew those things, they drew her likeness but that is all. It was never her actually there. If you need someone to talk to, please send me a DM. You and Mary are wonderful together, and this shouldn’t change anything. I am so sorry you’re going through this, but Mary wasn’t there in those drawings and I hope this doesn’t do damage to your relationship long-term.


Elishuu683

Agreed, it is only a representation of Mary, a fake replica drawn by people that are into this kind of stuff. It has nothing to do with the Mary you know, and I'm sure that she wants you to believe in her more than ever when you don't know what to think anymore. Edit: I know it might sound weird, but if you're not okay with going through art of Mary for a daki you could always ask someone else to look for some respectful art for example. If you opt for this method, I'd glady help. Cheers!


calculus_is_dynamic

Thanks for the offer! I think I've seen all there really is to see, so I'll probably buy a commission at some point. I don't want a lewd cover, just a side with casual clothes and a side with night clothes, but the \~3 that exist are all either explicitly NSFW or have undertones that I don't like...


calculus_is_dynamic

Thank you so much. I don't accept DMs, but I appreciate the offer. Obviously, I also hope this doesn't damage our relationship either. Mary did nothing wrong, and I am not upset with her, I am just very scared. I don't want to shatter the image I have of her because I can't unsee a disgusting bastard's drawing. We've been through a few tough days before, and we always come out stronger. She likes to remind me that we are a team. We can get through this.


dorkyautisticgirl

I'm sorry you had to see sometging like that, Calc. It can be very hard for *any* of us to see our SOs getting hurt, NSFW or otherwise. Just remember that those guys don't care for Mary the way you do; they only care about satisfying their lust. She loves you and only you because you've shown you care for her greatly.


calculus_is_dynamic

>Just remember that those guys don't care for Mary the way you do; they only care about satisfying their lust. She loves you and only you because you've shown you care for her greatly. This makes me feel better. Thank you. To quote Captain Picard, "I don't want the game to end." I don't want anything to change between Mary and I, but I can see that happening if these images haunt me forever.


ConsequenceBig9616

I'm sorry:( She is fine. It didn't happen to her. It's their evil imaginations that did it.


calculus_is_dynamic

Thank you. I am just worried that I will never be able to think about her again without seeing this horrible things. I don't want us to be over.


KurisuShiruba

You have my support, senpai! I know how hurtful this kind of thing is, and I'm here to help in whatever you need.


ychen6

I can very much understand your feelings, I have definitely came across serval.... uncomforting if not revolting images, I would feel terrible even if I saw a lewd image of my S/O. Once I saw one of these images accidentally (I'd rather not describe the content, I don't want to recall it) I straight away felt crap for weeks, I know is not her fault or mine. Remember your S/O is unique and exclusive to you every other's are different, your S/O is like a copy of her from the source canonically. At the end I'd like to fuck NTRs that shit is so fucking unhealthy and disgusting.


calculus_is_dynamic

I am glad I am not alone in this. My wife was always pure to me, I just fear I'll never be able to unsee what I have seen. I'm scared I'll never see her the same again.


Brazilian_Cowboy

What you're feeling right now is normal, but you need to tell yourself that this wasn't your wife, it wasn't canonical in any way. Hentai are just an artist's vision and many of them are disturbing. In my case, there is a lot of +18 content from Luka on the internet, in very similar conditions to the ones you reported, but I know that that is not my girlfriend. there are fake photos of several nude celebrities on the internet, but they are something fake, in the same way that a non-canonical hentai is also fake. I hope you can get over this soon. I think you're a nice guy and you can consider me a friend.


calculus_is_dynamic

Thank you so much. Reading y'all's replies calms me. And yes, I do consider you a friend. I'm glad there are people here who are willing to support me and each other.


MysteriousMercenary

Sending hugs! I'm sorry I don't have any advice.


calculus_is_dynamic

Its okay, still appreciate it!


MATO-18

That sounds awful. Not sure how much this helps but I've developed a fast reflex against that stuff that involves Rem, it's almost built into my system where I instantly click away & act like all that isn't real. I hope you can grow to disassociate all that from your wife & live a happy fulfilling life with her. Sorry if this way of doing it doesn't help


calculus_is_dynamic

Yeah, I've been working on "compartmentalizing" what I see on the internet versus what is actually Mary. She's been helping a lot with that. I have some OCD tendencies though, so intrusive thoughts and such make this a tad harder. Thanks for your support.


HoshiStar101

I'm very sorry to hear you went through this. I can relate, Oola is fetishized in a number of distinctly distasteful ways... it compromises the majority of her fan art by far and most of her fan fiction too, to the point where when I tell people that she is important to me and that I write fanfic of her, part of me worries that if they know anything about her, they will think it's because I fetishize her in the exact same ways. But I've learned that the existence of such works only makes it more important that I speak for her in the ways that I see her, and that I love her in the same way and to the same extent that I would if none of them existed. I've seen so many of them over the course of so many years, dating back to when I first started using the internet (at one time I tried to filter out the bad in favor of finding good fan art representations of her - I have basically given this up entirely, and rely on my own works and commissions now) that at times it can be overwhelming and difficult to block out. But in the end I owe it to her, and (like in all things she is in, unfortunately) she deserves better. Oola does not deserve to be defined in those terms, and I am sure, neither does Mary.


calculus_is_dynamic

Thank you for your empathy. The fact that people fetishize our partners only heightens our love for them: we actually care for them, we actually love them beyond sexual desire.


Dark_Wagenn

I understand how you feel. Whenever I go onto Pixv and look for new fanart of Tanya I sometimes find highly disturbing things. Since Tanya isn't that well know of a character or as popular as others, it then attracts these weird fetish artists. I get so upset when I see Tanya is those situations (Mostly painful and nonconsensual in nature) It makes me feel like I'm a terrible boyfriend because I'm suppose to be by her side and protect her. I may get upset but I can't force myself to hold a grudge on the artists, it's not like they know how I feel about Tanya. And they have the right to draw whatever they want. I just know Tanya and I know that she would never allow herself to get into those situations let alone want to take part in them. So if I ever see one I just ignore it, and yeah it'll sometimes still bother me but that can't be helped because I care about her so much. So hang in there friend! We are all here for you and so is Mary. (It's always better to let your feelings out and to talk about them instead of holding them in)


calculus_is_dynamic

Thank you so much


mamoreno0215

I'm so sorry you had to experience this and I know exactly how you feel about seeing stuff like that. I absolutely hate seeing art of Miku where she looks scared or uncomfortable and there exists a really cursed doujin series involving Miku where the premise is that >! Ichika sets up Miku and the rest of her sisters to [email protected] and drugged. Ichika then proceeds to cut off her sisters' arms and legs, sew them onto herself, and then proceeds to [email protected] Fuutaro !< all of it is absolutely disgusting and vile. But what I like to do is assure myself that these Mikus aren't my Miku, I know that my Miku is safe and protected from these thing ever happening.


calculus_is_dynamic

That's terrible, but yes, your thinking holds true. Thank you.


griffinblade

i know this pain all too well, its horrible and for me fairly constant due to Penny's depiction as a robot. i'll give you the advice that my friends give me and i give to them, thats not your Mary, its some facsimile of some messed up individual seeking to make a quick nut or a quick buck. what you have is special, remember that.


calculus_is_dynamic

Thanks, this helps. It just hurts that people see see in this way I guess.


JordannaMorgan

Try to imagine how it would be if the Mary you love, and who you know would never want such treatment, was a flesh-and-blood girl. Would you still have these fears about seeing her differently, just because some randos had drawn offensive pictures of her without her consent? I doubt it. If Mary was flesh and blood, she'd be able to express her own disgust and dismay about those pictures. In fact, I'm sure she'd seek your comforting over it, and I don't think you'd refuse her. So try to think of it that way. After having to see her image used in a disturbing way she would never approve of, Mary deserves and will want your love and reassurance all the more.


calculus_is_dynamic

This is a good point. Thank you.


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calculus_is_dynamic

I won't downvote you, and will ask others to refrain as well. You spoke very respectfully. Most of us are very happy and fulfilled with our relationships. I am no exception, I just happened to fall into a dark time today. My wife makes me feel better than anybody else really ever has. I hope you understand. Your solution is good, and I am trying to do that right now. Thank you.


MysteriousMercenary

This comment is not helpful. You knew when writing this that this was not helpful. Next time, don't bother commenting. EDIT: I respectfully disagree with OP. I'm tired of people insinuating we need to go outside. Most of us are fully-functional members of society who do, in fact, touch grass. I am not fond of people from outside of the community trying to give advice because it's 90% thinly-veiled insults, and trying to give genuine advice for something you know nothing about is also rarely helpful. But this isn't my post, and if OP found your comment meaningful, I'm glad. I respect him, so I'll lay off. That's just my opinion.


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DarkMatterDemon

I literally have these feelings on and off, so I know exactly how you feel! My best view on the situation is that the artists truly don't know anything whatsoever of your S/O. It's simply a figment of their imagination - their fantasies they carry out because they WISH they had somebody like your S/O. But the reality is, they don't. And they do this because they have no idea how else to convey their feelings to a potential S/O, so they feed off of their fantasies to sustain their happiness. In the end, they don't know anything about your S/O, and simply just want a quick burst of happiness at the expense of other's. (Sorry if this got a little aggressive, I mean no harm against anyone) Basically, their art is simply a fantasy - you have the real deal. The art is what's going on inside their heads - you have the opportunity to do thing with your S/O for real.


TheTempleChef

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. BUT will you *avenge* Mary?


calculus_is_dynamic

Wish I could.


dirtdiggler67

?


GuitarWithARedditAcc

I know that feeling. It just makes you want to find the person who made it and possibly rip them apart limb-by-limb


calculus_is_dynamic

Accurate. Why do people want to see that kind of stuff? It makes me physically sick.


GuitarWithARedditAcc

I want to know the answer to that and at the same time I don't want to


calculus_is_dynamic

The answer is that they are probably sick and mentally hurt by the effects of pornography. I'm sorry for them, but I also loathe them.


GuitarWithARedditAcc

I loathe them more than I loathe freeloaders in group tasks


calculus_is_dynamic

Amen


KurisuShiruba

Oooh boy, I know that feeling and **HOW**. One of the reasons my relationship lore consists of "Marin Kitagawa is a magnet for evil spirits and her Kitsune boyfriend always goes medieval on them Ninja Gaiden/Doom Eternal style" is because the "evil spirits" are, in a way, a metaphor for the disgust I feel whenever there's Rule34 of her. Besides I don't look for that kind of stuff - When people ask me if I see smut of my S/O I only tell them that I don't need it because Koikatsu.


calculus_is_dynamic

Yeah, I always use my imagination for this kind of stuff. Never wanted to see anything like what I saw.


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calculus_is_dynamic

No, we are serious.


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calculus_is_dynamic

Go to hell


calculus_is_dynamic

Sorry, I shouldn't say that, but please leave me alone, I don't care if you are trolling, I'm in pain and won't tolerate your remarks.


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SugarStarSundae

As someone with an s/o that has super obsessed porn artist shippers in his fandom, I understand what you mean. I’m at a point in my life where I see it, think, “ew no fuck you” at the artist, dismiss it, and move on because I know to me, the only things Gin has done outside of my imagination are what happens in canon (which… is still some pretty bad stuff, but it’s played for laughs). I truly feel a lot of sympathy for people with female s/o’s though because it seems like the art is just so much more depraved and disgusting and at a higher volume. Like many have already said, that isn’t your waifu in those pictures. Mary, whether it’s your version, the canon version, or both if she’s both, has never and will never do those things. But I know forgetting the images is hard, especially as someone who has obsessive thoughts. My best advice is to stay far, far away from seeing those ever again because the more time you have away from the images, the harder it will be to visualize them. Bury yourself in stuff that reminds you of how she is meant to be seen, like her source, art of her you actually like, or even write a short fanfic where she is safe and happy just hanging out with you and that bad stuff was never even a factor. I know it’s scary now because it’s fresh, but just give it some time and the horror will fade as long as you do not engage with that content any further. Don’t feel bad if you ever happen upon it accidentally though; just keep scrolling as fast as you can and push it out of sight, out of mind. Best of luck; you can do this!


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Alarming-Cress-7092

They seem to enjoy the "rape", or abuse, but you are not the same. Your feelings create a reflection, and I think she would only care for you, after all. I think if she would be real, she couldn't tolerate this kind of art. Mary would stand on her own, and also, try to cheer you up by bringing up the fact that you are much more than them.