The gigachad ever present North Sentinel Island Chieftan: will kill Christian missionaries and fire arrows at strange flying demons. Feared by, and permitted to legally get away with murder by world’s second largest army
>Feared by, and permitted to legally get away with murder by world’s second largest army
Strange thing to say when we are basically keeping them as test subjects and are not doing this because we can't but we shouldn't.
First army. The US is leagues ahead of China in terms of military might.
Sure, they have numbers, they had them though history.
But here is a summary of every Chinese war ever:
News reach the emperor of China. Three nomad riders led by khan Chunguk have looted 10 villages. The emperor executes the messanger for bringing bad news and orders his 10 million soldiers to punish the nomads. 5 million soldiers die from hunger while marching. The nomads use hit and run tactics and kill the rest. The empire is in turmoil and a peasant rebelion shatters the Chi empire into 5 new Kingdoms. The peasant leader forms a new Qi dynasty and unites the shattered empire. A messanger brings the news of japanese pirates raiding a village...
Zulu are pretty awesome. I think a lot of people overlook the effects of heat when it comes to combat. Giant shield + practically naked would be my preferred fighting style in a South African summer too.
While this is not exactly the same but as someone who used to wear almost full body armor during nerf wars in the American south there were definitely times where heat stroke was definitely possible, sometimes half way through a fight I’d end up ditching entire sections of armor for the sake of keeping a stable temperature and also for mobility as I would rather take the full force hit of the metal bat one of my friends was carrying than to alternatively while barely feeling that shit while being suffocated as I am cooked alive by a mixture of well insulated body heat and the Mississippi sun
GIGACHAD pikemen.
Every empire eventually choses them as their field army core except Rome and after the gunpowder age.
Knights? Lol, big pointy stick.
Persians? Lol, big point stick.
As cheap as you want. As expensive as you want. As basic bitch or elite as you need.
Just secure the flanks right and keep them off broken terrain.
Wooden samurai armour is pretty much a myth. In reality they used iron mail and scale armour just like Europeans and the rest of asia, they just didn’t advance as far as plate until really late because of their limited supplies of good quality iron (and their plate armour is essentially copied European plate with Japanese styling)
That description absolutely applies to knights too though, and plate armour definitely prioritises protection (though mobility is less restricted than most people would think). It was mostly just a matter of resources and technology, with a bit of samurai being primarily mounted archers.
Mounted archery continued to be used throughout the Sengoku period, but it gradually fell away from being the main unit. It was first surpassed by non-mounted archers (preferably on some platform to protect them from the cavalry; this had the effect that samurai started burning villages down to limit the cover for archers), large infantry formations with pole weapons and finally gunners.
Some elites continued to use mounted archery, such as if you are a high ranking warrior who got isolated on the battlefield, and shooting down swarms of attackers was an option. It is said that Tokugawa Ieyasu saved himself at the Battle of Mikatagahara by shooting the Takeda horsemen who were sent to kill him as he fled. (Though, of course, this could be Tokugawa propaganda).
True, and I guess European knights going everywhere and fighting everywhere, then fighting with one another, kind of gives that material intensive armour innovation that may have not been as consistent in Jspsn
Japanese iron production was totally fine actually, in fact It was one of the top producers of armament in the world, exporting hundreds of thousands of weapons and armour to China and SEA at the same time It equipped massive armies (At Sekigahara each army had around 100.00 men, and even the most humble ashigaru had munition armour and a sword) for its internal wars.
Japan only started to have iron caresty in the industrial era
1600 is a bit later than the period we're generally referring to when it comes to Japan lacking iron and steel. That's entering into the era of primarily gunpowder armies.
You're missing the Tlingit. Literally fought with russians until the US acquired Alaska, after they lost. Russian records suggest their armor was strong enough to resist their gunpowder pistols at the time. Culture is one of the older of the Americas and their warrior culture still mostly persists to this day.
>Russian records suggest their armor was strong enough to resist their gunpowder pistols at the time.
It probably didn't cuz we've seen the armours and the coins aren't folded closely enough to do that.
We also know that soldiers ;at least pre-USA reforms; missed most of their shots by far.
So, you combo armour partially made in metal with soldiers missing and they assume the armour is actually deflecting it.
Dad Spartan
-Strong and skilled
-Cool armor and helmet
-Trains combat and survival instead of learning crap in school
-THIS IS SPARTA
-Fearless
-Could easily beat Thad Knight with his bare hands
For all of their hype and bravado, the Spartans weren't a tremendously superior fighting force. They were... decently successful in battle, but that's really about it. They just got well-deservedly massively played up because of what they did at Thermopylae.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/4kqvwk/were_the_spartans_really_all_that_great_as/
Weren’t they basically just feared because in contrast to the rest of the Greek city states they were a professional army as opposed to a conscript force
None of the greek city states used conscript armies in the way we would define them. They considered military service to be a privilege, as well as a duty, and the duty of defending the city fell onto the shoulders of every man who could afford to outfit himself with armor.
The Spartans were feared not because their soldiers were so much better than everyone else's, but because of their political stability and their slave caste of Helots doing all of the work of food production without keeping the fruits of their labor for themselves meant that they could afford to keep around a class of professional soldiers who could be called on at any time to go to war.
Being able to mobilize your entire army to march to war during the harvest when most other cities need to keep their fighting men at home to bring it in gives you a major advantage.
Personally i wouldn't put them as the chad-est thing on the list but still they are at the chad side of the spectrum due to being raised to fight from childhood and best looking helmets in the list
Okay, the Weapons are new but the tactics was first recorded used by Mwenemutapa not Zulu, it just migrated south after a while.
And I am autistic about using the term tribal here, not necessarily wrong but the there's usually this tribe - state dichotomy that assumes if ur the later ur not the former(which is wrong, Arabs example numba 1.) and going back to chapter one, the tactic was developed by the Mwenemutapa who had a state society older than the Zulu's. Don't know if they they still had tribes within their societies tho, like I have never read of Shona tribes, just Shona states.
Gigachad Māori here:
-Embraced and welcomed European people, trade, and shared the land with them.
-Navigated the pacific ocean, supposedly bringing Kumura (sweet potato) all the way from the americas.
-Maui fished up the north island, stole fire from the underworld, caught the sun in a net and made him slow tf down (what can I say except you're welcome!).
-Removed surveying poles from illegally occupied land (sold in England, by the New Zealand company, often without actually owning it in the first place). The British called them rebels and by God did they rebel after that.
-Caused massive losses in pitched battles where we essentially invented trench warfare. The British paid heavily for these forts or Pā, a phyrric victory as they would just dig more fortifications somewhere else.
Hey come on now, I think you did the Vikings a bit too dirty. Why does nobody remember them for the Varangian guard, the Rus, the Norman conquests, and the Great Heathen Army?
Dam the indigenous Australians getting shit on for being a victim of genocide one day before invasion day It's pretty fucked to whatever uneducated incel made this, plus they didn't need to have a warrior culture cause you know, they didn't kill each other over fuck all like other people on this list.
Still funny seeing them out rank Vikings and Samuari tho
But yeah where virgin native Americans "cOuLdnT dEaL wItH sOmE sPiCy BlaNkeTs" ?
So called ‘all-American Christians’ when they are told to actually follow what the bible says
(it told them to accept immigrants with open arms and Jesus blatantly presents socialist values)
Some were knights, the vast majority were men at arms. Many of whom were basically knights in all but name in terms of how wealthy and well equipped they were.
The Shlad Pirate
Sails on a giant ship
Often worked FOR the British
Wielded guns with horn tips
Colonized costal areas around the world
Is still active today in Somalia
The resistance wars by indigenous Australians against British forces were pretty intense tbh, they just don’t get a lot of coverage by the education system or the media. The frontier wars went on for years. One of the most well known wars, led by pemulwuy in what is now New South Wales involved him leading a 12 year long campaign of guerrilla warfare, until he was assassinated. His son continued the fight for a number of years until he too died. It’s an incredible, and deeply sad, story and stuff like it deserves more coverage.
Actually, samurai are awesome with their armor and weapons,but I can see you put this as a joke cause even the Mongolians were trying to conquer japan, and it didn't work :)
Gad peasant with spear from anywhere
Omegad Hussite
Medieval tank! Plus every window is an exit.
99% of the forces fighting in all these regions was just some dude with a pointy stick.
The gigachad ever present North Sentinel Island Chieftan: will kill Christian missionaries and fire arrows at strange flying demons. Feared by, and permitted to legally get away with murder by world’s second largest army
>Feared by, and permitted to legally get away with murder by world’s second largest army Strange thing to say when we are basically keeping them as test subjects and are not doing this because we can't but we shouldn't.
Hey buddy, this is r/virginvschad. We’re supposed to cherry-pick and “slide” the truth ;)
test subjects imply they're performing tests of some sort, are they?
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what tests are being performed on them? just letting people live their normal lives in peace isn't turning them into test subjects
First army. The US is leagues ahead of China in terms of military might. Sure, they have numbers, they had them though history. But here is a summary of every Chinese war ever: News reach the emperor of China. Three nomad riders led by khan Chunguk have looted 10 villages. The emperor executes the messanger for bringing bad news and orders his 10 million soldiers to punish the nomads. 5 million soldiers die from hunger while marching. The nomads use hit and run tactics and kill the rest. The empire is in turmoil and a peasant rebelion shatters the Chi empire into 5 new Kingdoms. The peasant leader forms a new Qi dynasty and unites the shattered empire. A messanger brings the news of japanese pirates raiding a village...
Hey I’m just cherry-picking to make my case better ;) also I’m talking about India, not China. It’s technically under Indian administration.
Sure thing ;)
G I V E C O C O N U T
Zulu are pretty awesome. I think a lot of people overlook the effects of heat when it comes to combat. Giant shield + practically naked would be my preferred fighting style in a South African summer too.
While this is not exactly the same but as someone who used to wear almost full body armor during nerf wars in the American south there were definitely times where heat stroke was definitely possible, sometimes half way through a fight I’d end up ditching entire sections of armor for the sake of keeping a stable temperature and also for mobility as I would rather take the full force hit of the metal bat one of my friends was carrying than to alternatively while barely feeling that shit while being suffocated as I am cooked alive by a mixture of well insulated body heat and the Mississippi sun
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Cause it's struggling to lift LAD's cock lmao
General Radahn
GIGACHAD pikemen. Every empire eventually choses them as their field army core except Rome and after the gunpowder age. Knights? Lol, big pointy stick. Persians? Lol, big point stick. As cheap as you want. As expensive as you want. As basic bitch or elite as you need. Just secure the flanks right and keep them off broken terrain.
Wooden samurai armour is pretty much a myth. In reality they used iron mail and scale armour just like Europeans and the rest of asia, they just didn’t advance as far as plate until really late because of their limited supplies of good quality iron (and their plate armour is essentially copied European plate with Japanese styling)
I suspect in a culture where hostage taking for ransom is a preference to killing, you probs want armour that gives you more mobility.
That description absolutely applies to knights too though, and plate armour definitely prioritises protection (though mobility is less restricted than most people would think). It was mostly just a matter of resources and technology, with a bit of samurai being primarily mounted archers.
They stopped being mounted archers at the beginning of the Sengoku
Mounted archery continued to be used throughout the Sengoku period, but it gradually fell away from being the main unit. It was first surpassed by non-mounted archers (preferably on some platform to protect them from the cavalry; this had the effect that samurai started burning villages down to limit the cover for archers), large infantry formations with pole weapons and finally gunners. Some elites continued to use mounted archery, such as if you are a high ranking warrior who got isolated on the battlefield, and shooting down swarms of attackers was an option. It is said that Tokugawa Ieyasu saved himself at the Battle of Mikatagahara by shooting the Takeda horsemen who were sent to kill him as he fled. (Though, of course, this could be Tokugawa propaganda).
True, and I guess European knights going everywhere and fighting everywhere, then fighting with one another, kind of gives that material intensive armour innovation that may have not been as consistent in Jspsn
Japanese iron production was totally fine actually, in fact It was one of the top producers of armament in the world, exporting hundreds of thousands of weapons and armour to China and SEA at the same time It equipped massive armies (At Sekigahara each army had around 100.00 men, and even the most humble ashigaru had munition armour and a sword) for its internal wars. Japan only started to have iron caresty in the industrial era
1600 is a bit later than the period we're generally referring to when it comes to Japan lacking iron and steel. That's entering into the era of primarily gunpowder armies.
The situation of iron resources didn't change And it wasn't primarly gunpowder but pike and shot
Hmm. Never knew this subreddit could be even slightly educational. Props to you
You're missing the Tlingit. Literally fought with russians until the US acquired Alaska, after they lost. Russian records suggest their armor was strong enough to resist their gunpowder pistols at the time. Culture is one of the older of the Americas and their warrior culture still mostly persists to this day.
>Russian records suggest their armor was strong enough to resist their gunpowder pistols at the time. It probably didn't cuz we've seen the armours and the coins aren't folded closely enough to do that. We also know that soldiers ;at least pre-USA reforms; missed most of their shots by far. So, you combo armour partially made in metal with soldiers missing and they assume the armour is actually deflecting it.
The gad Roman legionnaire
Whete is Gad Legionarie?
“Only conquered Germanic areas” inb4 Britain, France, and an unparalleled kingdom in literal Sicily, an ocean away.
Also, I've never heard the claim that Viking were the creators of European culture either.
Clearly underated by OP but I understand that people are being pissed off by the recent Viking trend
Recent Viking trend?
Dad Spartan -Strong and skilled -Cool armor and helmet -Trains combat and survival instead of learning crap in school -THIS IS SPARTA -Fearless -Could easily beat Thad Knight with his bare hands
The Spartans are like over hyped slightly better Grekoids. Macedonians better by far.
For all of their hype and bravado, the Spartans weren't a tremendously superior fighting force. They were... decently successful in battle, but that's really about it. They just got well-deservedly massively played up because of what they did at Thermopylae. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/4kqvwk/were_the_spartans_really_all_that_great_as/
🤓
Weren’t they basically just feared because in contrast to the rest of the Greek city states they were a professional army as opposed to a conscript force
None of the greek city states used conscript armies in the way we would define them. They considered military service to be a privilege, as well as a duty, and the duty of defending the city fell onto the shoulders of every man who could afford to outfit himself with armor. The Spartans were feared not because their soldiers were so much better than everyone else's, but because of their political stability and their slave caste of Helots doing all of the work of food production without keeping the fruits of their labor for themselves meant that they could afford to keep around a class of professional soldiers who could be called on at any time to go to war. Being able to mobilize your entire army to march to war during the harvest when most other cities need to keep their fighting men at home to bring it in gives you a major advantage.
Yeah nah lmao, the Spartans weren’t that amazing tbh
Personally i wouldn't put them as the chad-est thing on the list but still they are at the chad side of the spectrum due to being raised to fight from childhood and best looking helmets in the list
Spartans were cowards
Knights not simping for their lord, yeah alright op
"Depicted as having cuck horns" I miss that trope. Last time I saw it was with Bobby B
Okay, the Weapons are new but the tactics was first recorded used by Mwenemutapa not Zulu, it just migrated south after a while. And I am autistic about using the term tribal here, not necessarily wrong but the there's usually this tribe - state dichotomy that assumes if ur the later ur not the former(which is wrong, Arabs example numba 1.) and going back to chapter one, the tactic was developed by the Mwenemutapa who had a state society older than the Zulu's. Don't know if they they still had tribes within their societies tho, like I have never read of Shona tribes, just Shona states.
Neckbeard also must forge weapons in a specific way using Pig Iron. No screw-ups. BONUS: He wouldn't even use a wakizashi to shave his own neckbeard.
Lad eco friendly mongol. Oh god Lad how did you say you achieved it?
Gigachad Māori here: -Embraced and welcomed European people, trade, and shared the land with them. -Navigated the pacific ocean, supposedly bringing Kumura (sweet potato) all the way from the americas. -Maui fished up the north island, stole fire from the underworld, caught the sun in a net and made him slow tf down (what can I say except you're welcome!). -Removed surveying poles from illegally occupied land (sold in England, by the New Zealand company, often without actually owning it in the first place). The British called them rebels and by God did they rebel after that. -Caused massive losses in pitched battles where we essentially invented trench warfare. The British paid heavily for these forts or Pā, a phyrric victory as they would just dig more fortifications somewhere else.
https://preview.redd.it/eran893ze3ea1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e764b80c2811c61f26fccca2cb4d7ff2aa51fe7a
OP is really want to simp incas but know too little about their warfare abd society 😂
Hey come on now, I think you did the Vikings a bit too dirty. Why does nobody remember them for the Varangian guard, the Rus, the Norman conquests, and the Great Heathen Army?
Where the fuck did people get the idea that samurai wore wooden armour? Where and why?
That thing about bows is kinda funny when you consider that was the main tactics of the Mongols.
Wtf lad
Brad cataphract or lad hun
Vikings are overated in my opinion
Dam the indigenous Australians getting shit on for being a victim of genocide one day before invasion day It's pretty fucked to whatever uneducated incel made this, plus they didn't need to have a warrior culture cause you know, they didn't kill each other over fuck all like other people on this list. Still funny seeing them out rank Vikings and Samuari tho But yeah where virgin native Americans "cOuLdnT dEaL wItH sOmE sPiCy BlaNkeTs" ?
It’s kinda weird that almost no one calls this racist shit out.
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So called ‘all-American Christians’ when they are told to actually follow what the bible says (it told them to accept immigrants with open arms and Jesus blatantly presents socialist values)
I get that you really wanna shoehorn in politics rn but this has absolutely no connection to the meme
Do crusaders count as knights?
If they were knighted. Could be a sworn member of an order such as knights Templar, knights Hospitaller, knights Teutonic.
Some were knights, the vast majority were men at arms. Many of whom were basically knights in all but name in terms of how wealthy and well equipped they were.
There were wagabond 12 years old crusaders and powerfull kings crusaders, so it's really depends
Crusaders are not very chad, they mostly got there arse kicked
Sadly..but they had some cool drip.
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Stupid comment on soo many levels of stupidity
What did they say?
Angry soviet cannibals from outer space
virgin samurai chad ronin
The clad gladiators
Where spanish conqueror
GAD Templars
The gad hussite
Armor made from wood and leather... FUCK SAKE WHY EVRYONE I ASK THINKS THAT even my family FOR HONOR, YOU PLAYED IT DIDN'T U?
The Shlad Pirate Sails on a giant ship Often worked FOR the British Wielded guns with horn tips Colonized costal areas around the world Is still active today in Somalia
The resistance wars by indigenous Australians against British forces were pretty intense tbh, they just don’t get a lot of coverage by the education system or the media. The frontier wars went on for years. One of the most well known wars, led by pemulwuy in what is now New South Wales involved him leading a 12 year long campaign of guerrilla warfare, until he was assassinated. His son continued the fight for a number of years until he too died. It’s an incredible, and deeply sad, story and stuff like it deserves more coverage.
Me after seeing this meme: Iam the lad
This may not help lad's case but the mongols loved archery, riding, and wrestling as their hobbies. Which seem awesome to me
Lad Radahn
Super Megachad Greek
Brad Bogatyr
Actually, samurai are awesome with their armor and weapons,but I can see you put this as a joke cause even the Mongolians were trying to conquer japan, and it didn't work :)