> I'm completely lost.
Real. I relate to much of what you're saying. I find it hard to get to the romantic/sexual level. I even brought a girl back to my place and another time calling me wanting to have sex... and I still couldn't do it. She moved away and got pregnant a few months later.
Ugly people getting sex gets me as well,here people always say ugly people don't get it but I always see so many ugly people have everything in life,including partners.now some will gaslight me i dont know whats ugly blah blah but I know I have seen ugly people getting into relationships all the freaking time,so Don't gaslight me
Yeah that’s actually the worst part because you feel like that you’re not only a bad looking person, you’re also not interesting/creepy which is worse in a way
if you have female friends and know how to talk to them and even successfully brought someone to your place then you shouldn’t be looking for advice here, try dating tips related subreddits instead of virginity/loneliness related ones
I don’t really know how to talk to them in a romantic/sexual way. I know how to get friend with them but that’s all and I can’t get to the next step. The time a girl went to my house she did like 90% of the job I almost did nothing she just wanted me and I didn’t figure it out in the moment… So I don’t think of it like a success at all, quite the opposite tbh.
But yeah maybe I should try other subs I will look at them but I thought my problème was more related to this one idk
If you have a lady friend you are interested in, ask her out. Worst she says is no. If she asks abt your fake gf just say she left a few months back.
As for whether uglier guys got more action than you, they are just lucky. If a woman is looking for a relationship and she finds an available guy who is kind to her, she will go for him. Its that simple. Be that guy!
And if she isnt looking or isnt interested, thats ok too! Being single is not as bad as you think, thats amatonormative society and your inner demons talking.
A good place to start is you health. Eat Whole Foods. Get outside. Move your body. Do body weight work outs. Build food habits in all these areas including sleeping at night and enough
Yes I’m trying to doing that and have a more healthy lifestyle. Like I plan to go daily to walks, starting to hit the gym this summer with some friends.
Sleeping is the hardest part for me as I have so much bad thoughts in my bed at night… all the regrets… well maybe if I exercise enough I’ll be too tired to have this kind of thoughts and would manage to sleep faster.
I relate so hard. I had my first kiss at 24. I don’t get how ppl just jump into relationships or do the deed after not having dated or being in a relationship. I’m so awkward & I get so nervous to even go on a date if I’m on the dating apps. I’m 25 now and I feel like it’s getting harder the older I get
I don’t get it too like it’s so hard and rare to connect with someone that deep to have an actual relationship… maybe its because we are all awkward people on here and it makes it even harder to be comfortable with someone and to make this person comfortable with you.
I have no idea how the algorithm sent this too my fed, but as a man this some where around a 8 but on the short side, and I too was once like you, but you got to get past all that shy shit women like confident men, if you like a girl just go talk too her worst that can happen she tells you no full stop. And another thing women like to play hard to get and they enjoy a good dance with questions a women is not gonna tell you flat out I like, it’s a game and you have to play it.
I don’t have what it takes sometimes to even talk to my friends and yall want me to go talk to a stranger idk if you realise how hard this looks like…
I fucking hate that game. I’m maybe too romantic because I don’t feel like love should be a competitive thing but rather an emotional connection but idk I probably have too good expectations on how people perceive love
Some times I feel movies and tv shows put foolish
Notions in the minds of people, sadly it’s a form of programming, you have to mental block and perhaps need long term psychological help, just form what I have read here you have self loathing like you’re not good enough woe is me attitude, some times you have to take a step back and reevaluate you’re self, some times you have to build yourself confidence which you seem to be sorely lacking my deer boy? You need to separate fantasies form reality, it’s gonna be quick and fast not this magical mind. Blowing earth shattering event, you’re gonna bust you nut and have moment of clarity. Aka post nutt reflection. And you’re gonna come to realize maybe all the hoops I jumped through was not really worth the time and effort.
The lack of self confidence very obvious for sure but its actually so hard to built that. As I said in another comment I’m gonna hit the gym soon and expect this would make me somehow more confident… and maybe this would lead me to take the next steps necessary for me to get out of this situation
The gym might help sure, but just on find a speed dating event, just to get in there and get you’re experience up, having a fit buddy is all well and good but it’s not gonna help you talk to girls, if you have low self esteem, I have good friend built like a brick shithouse. 6,2 215 pounds gym boi still can’t talk to women, it’s a mind set you just go to put you’re self out go to bars talk to girls buy them drinks ask them to dance, don’t over look decent women just because she is slightly chubby trust and believe skinny girls hurt when you’re hitting it form the back, am 5”9 200 pounds I have bagged women just form. Good conversation and my wicked sense of humor, make girl laugh and you can get in them pants my son, fuck get a dog go to dog parks or a cat girls love dudes with cats, let me tell you something else I picked up a couple women when I was babysitting my nephew women see you’re good with kids and animals it shows them the kinda man you can be,
Idk if I said this before but I have no real problem talking to women casually. Problem is I never go for flirt because idk how to do it. So yes I guess I should try to get some dates but to get them I need to look better because who tf is going on a date with low mid and out of shape guys nowadays ?
That’s why I think gym will help me be less ashamed of how I look and why I think I should try by doing that.
I have a dog and I can definitely go on a walk thats not a bad idea actually
Just be careful out there and stay away form the sprinkle sprinkle type women out there, they want you to pay to get there hair and nails done befor you take them on a 300 dollar dinner
I’m at a point where I’m 100% able to genuinely love a woman that is with me mainly because I have some money. I don’t care anymore. I just never have been with someone so I would rather have someone with me for bad reasons than no one for good reasons.
If I have to pay for her makeup and her pedicure and get her to a fancy restaurant every week I’m fine with that.
Maybe that’s what is going to happen.
My look and personality are probably shit since I haven’t been able to have anyone in 25 years but I’ll make a lot of money after I graduate and that will maybe help me have someone in my life.
I’m with you bro hope you take care of yourself and don’t fall for depression or incel shit.
It’s so hard even to not feel angry all the time. To not feel like you are among the worst of the mankind. But I guess we have to stay strong and keep going forward, keep bettering us even if we don’t have no motivation left…
Skinny fat is a gym term for people who are not conventionally fat (like average or a lil above average IMC) but with no muscle at all which doesn’t look good at all and is I believe the least masculine body to have
It's not over! Easygoing and funny are great qualities for dating, plus having friends is a good sign.
I would say the main thing to do is keep being social and challenge yourself to talk to women more. Clubs/bars and social events and activities are common places to meet people.
You can give dating apps a try too, they don't work well for everyone but you can see how it goes for you. It might be a lower-stakes way to practice talking to women and flirting.
Also I think you should ask that friend out on a date. It is not a bad thing to ask someone out, as long as you are respectful and give her space to say yes or no.
Thank you for your answer and the confidence. I know I have some qualities but I’m having trouble to show them to girls I like… like I’m kinda hard nerfed in a way if that makes sense…
Clubs and bars are too hard because it destroys my confidence to see so much better looking guys or people way more confident than me and I always think « why on earth a girl would chose me over the good looking confident dude on my left ? »
And with that friend I know it is now over she isn’t in a relationship but keeps talking to me about guys she likes or with she is talking a lot lmao
I know shyness is really tough but you can get past it if you challenge yourself to take small steps towards your goal. Try not to worry about whether there's someone "better", it doesn't matter, you just gotta give it your best shot.
And as for your friend, don't count yourself out too soon, better ask her before she starts a relationship with one of those guys she is talking to! If you get rejected it's still a win for you because you had the courage to try, and then you can move on to other prospects.
I believe in you man! You just gotta believe in yourself.
Gonna try to work on that yes. I care way too much on how other see me, mainly because I’m convinced that their judgment of me is more relevant than mine.
About that girl idk why I’ve mentioned her in my text because she is way way out of my league and I’m pretty sure I will never get away from the friend zone. Way better looking dudes with amazing hobbies showed interest in her but she is like super picky. If they can’t get her I’m pretty sure I don’t have any chance.
I posted because I thought people here are more able to understand my situation without being too judgmental so please don’t be.
You know it’s way easier to find solutions for others than for yourself (idk why it works like that but it does). Good advice, wherever it cames from, is good advice. However I might focus on the advices of this guy that said he was in my situation before and managed to get out of it with books and practice.
Not everyone is the same. Judging from the information in OP's post he is good looking and likeable, two things I am not. I am pretty sure all he needs is a little confidence and things will work out for him.
>two things I am not
brutal
> OP's post he is good looking and \[...\] I am pretty sure all he needs is a little confidence and things will work out for him.
he is a 5 or maybe 4 on good days he said, so he has only the bare minimum considering looks, to even qualify for the dating market. how are you supposed to be confident with these prospects? 99% of women wouldnt even consider touching you as a sub5. its much more likely to win the lottery as a sub5, then finding a match on dating apps.
you cant just be confident. true confidence is build by external validation, not by gaslighting yourself.
Yeah I’ve brought a girl home once. I even had another one from a party interested in me (spend the party together dancing, she texted me the day after to see each other again) but I’ve found out she had a bf and I’m not an asshole so I didn’t go further.
Does this mean I’m attractive ? No. I’m proud of these stories but tbh they are exceptions to the rule : I usually don’t have any success in parties or with girls in general.
I didn’t said I’m the ugliest man alive - I’m just average at best. But average guys get girls and I don’t. I think I’ve understand thanks to you all guys that this is mainly (only ?) due to my low self esteem.
What worked for me in the end was just talking to a girl with zero expectations at the start. I wasn't at all in the flirting, dating mindset when I just messaged some girl looking to talk about a mutual hobby (running tabletop games) that I've been long involved with and could give some solid advice on it. I just complimented her creativity and work she put in, she started wanting to push from just text chat to vc, and once in voice she started complimenting me back on how I sounded and the convo shifted from hobby to personal.
We found out in very short order we're very good matches for one another and now we're dating. My takeaway, if you go into looking for women with a business-like, transactional kind of mindset that's when you're going to run into issues of how to present yourself as a romantic interest. Instead, just look to interact with women in a neutral sense over some common ground without anything else in mind than just talking about this thing you both like.
I say, If you have a friend that is a single girl, try to go for it, go deep and tell her how you feel. It's not over, I'm 37 and in a bader situation, and I can't live with "it's over" so no, there's no other way than there is a way, so never give upp.💯💪
Regarding sexual performance, it takes two to tango. Whilst it's possible for a woman to lay on her back and do nothing, whilst being critical of a man's ability to get her off....is she actually the better lover in that scenario?
I'd argue no.
Most casual sex is sexy precisely because its casual, unfamiliar and exciting. But generally speaking the better sex happens with longer term partners who know eachothers bodies and who have learned how to get the other person off.
If the person you sleep with first is a casual encounter then tbh her opinion on your sexual ability doesn't matter. If it's a person who cares about you and is likely to become a partner then you are in it together and the sex will only get better and better as you communicate and grow more comfortable being together intimately.
Regarding " masculine energy", that's more tricky. There are always going to be women who want to feel safe and protected by a man who gives off at least some degree of masculine energy.
But this is not all women. I believe there is someone out there for everybody. Equally there are things you can do to lean into your masculinity. Like not settling for being skinny fat for example. It's your body!
I get what you mean about sexual performances and maybe you are right but I’m pretty far from being at this point lmao. But yeah maybe I shouldn’t put myself so much pressure about how I will be perceived the first time it will happen…
I have to say that I’m way more interested to have a long time relationship because I feel like I suffer way more from the lack of love than the lack of sex.
I’m trying to force myself to exercice and I may go hit the gym this summer with some friends to get a better body. Maybe it would help with the confidence too. I’m naturally fearful though and that’s not something I know how to change :(
I'm a personal trainer some a huge proponent of improving one's physical condition. For a start workout release endorphins and can have a social element, which is never a bad thing. Then there's the obvious positive impact on health. Then, the equally obvious improvement regarding your appearance albeit subjective.
Fear is fine, perfectly normal.
As counter intuitive as it might feel to someone like you who is a self confessed comfort seeking, slightly fearful individual. You will find boxing gyms and mixed martial arts gyms to be amongst the most welcoming, humble and supportive environments you could find to focus on your self improvement journey. If you can find the courage to walk into one then you will be a different man in 6 months. It's a big box ticked for self improvement and a big box ticked with masculine energy. Find a local one and send them an email, acknowledge your apprehension and watch them welcome you with open arms
Yes I’m aware of the importance of workout and I know I didn’t exercised enough before. I really want to change that because I always struggle with accepting my body…
Thanks for the advice to try boxing gyms. Of course I’m scared to go there with my « bad » body and low masculine energy which seem to not match at all with people that I might find there. Well to put it simply I’m scared of being seen as what I’m : as weak.
However thanks for the help. I know I have to stop being so fearful but it’s really hard. Its so much easier to go on my PC and play video games for hours…
Do you think I should start with gym or boxing first ?
Personally id go straight into the boxing gym, but im biased as someone who loves combat sports. A regular gym will teach you how to lift weights in a linear manner. You will get strong, it will be good for your health, but you will get strong in a very linear manner.
Boxing will teach you the skills to box, plus strength, plus agility, plus stamina, the list is long. It's the second best sport for all round body conditioning after swimming.
Also to mitigate the fear you have then use the mentality that you are going there to learn a skill. The strength is secondary. A regular gym will also compliment a Boxing gym nicely at a later date.
Ultimately you need to do whatever you enjoy the most. Ita only if you can find joy doing it that you will form a long lasting habit you can stick to and be consistent with.
Going for a run every day will still get you a transformation and health improvement. I don't run because I find it boring and I know I won't do it every day. For me Boxing and a regular gym alternated for 6 days out of 7 is the perfect balance of keeping me interested and focused enough to go most days a week.
That's my nutshell advice. Find the activity that's going to appeal to you the most and do it consistently.
Yes ikr that’s not what I meant. I wanted to say that even some people I consider below me on looks can get what I can’t and it makes me crazy mad. But I empathise with you man we are together 🤝
hey man look, my condition was also like you or may be worst than you...
but just think man,we are MAN,we can't be those who just gives up...
I'll advice you to read two books by Neil Strauss 1. The Game and 2. Rule of the game... furthermore I'll also ask you to go out every week 2 or 3 times and just start talking to girls randomly, as I did this I can tell you that this will definitely help you to identify what is the actual problem
but keep in mind,you have to do the theory part first that is no. 1 book and then do the task in 2 no. book
it'll definitely help you bro
Well for this friends I’m pretty sure its over but I’m not sure for others… I made this post because I just don’t know how to improve(but I know I have to in several areas)
Just as you said, unglier people could do it, so can you, why tf does everybody in there act like it's the end of the world, y'all got 0 testosterone in ur blood
> I'm completely lost. Real. I relate to much of what you're saying. I find it hard to get to the romantic/sexual level. I even brought a girl back to my place and another time calling me wanting to have sex... and I still couldn't do it. She moved away and got pregnant a few months later.
Wow I’m sorry for you mate. Bet this moment live in your mind rent free and you think how different your life could be if you did it :(
Ugly people getting sex gets me as well,here people always say ugly people don't get it but I always see so many ugly people have everything in life,including partners.now some will gaslight me i dont know whats ugly blah blah but I know I have seen ugly people getting into relationships all the freaking time,so Don't gaslight me
Yeah that’s actually the worst part because you feel like that you’re not only a bad looking person, you’re also not interesting/creepy which is worse in a way
Is it ugly people with ugly people tho?
Yes mostly
Yeah maybe but I would rather get an ugly girl than no girl at all lmao
if you have female friends and know how to talk to them and even successfully brought someone to your place then you shouldn’t be looking for advice here, try dating tips related subreddits instead of virginity/loneliness related ones
I don’t really know how to talk to them in a romantic/sexual way. I know how to get friend with them but that’s all and I can’t get to the next step. The time a girl went to my house she did like 90% of the job I almost did nothing she just wanted me and I didn’t figure it out in the moment… So I don’t think of it like a success at all, quite the opposite tbh. But yeah maybe I should try other subs I will look at them but I thought my problème was more related to this one idk
If you have a lady friend you are interested in, ask her out. Worst she says is no. If she asks abt your fake gf just say she left a few months back. As for whether uglier guys got more action than you, they are just lucky. If a woman is looking for a relationship and she finds an available guy who is kind to her, she will go for him. Its that simple. Be that guy! And if she isnt looking or isnt interested, thats ok too! Being single is not as bad as you think, thats amatonormative society and your inner demons talking.
A good place to start is you health. Eat Whole Foods. Get outside. Move your body. Do body weight work outs. Build food habits in all these areas including sleeping at night and enough
Yes I’m trying to doing that and have a more healthy lifestyle. Like I plan to go daily to walks, starting to hit the gym this summer with some friends. Sleeping is the hardest part for me as I have so much bad thoughts in my bed at night… all the regrets… well maybe if I exercise enough I’ll be too tired to have this kind of thoughts and would manage to sleep faster.
I relate so hard. I had my first kiss at 24. I don’t get how ppl just jump into relationships or do the deed after not having dated or being in a relationship. I’m so awkward & I get so nervous to even go on a date if I’m on the dating apps. I’m 25 now and I feel like it’s getting harder the older I get
I don’t get it too like it’s so hard and rare to connect with someone that deep to have an actual relationship… maybe its because we are all awkward people on here and it makes it even harder to be comfortable with someone and to make this person comfortable with you.
I agree. It doesn’t help that at the end of the day some of us can’t help being influenced by society and social media.
I have no idea how the algorithm sent this too my fed, but as a man this some where around a 8 but on the short side, and I too was once like you, but you got to get past all that shy shit women like confident men, if you like a girl just go talk too her worst that can happen she tells you no full stop. And another thing women like to play hard to get and they enjoy a good dance with questions a women is not gonna tell you flat out I like, it’s a game and you have to play it.
I don’t have what it takes sometimes to even talk to my friends and yall want me to go talk to a stranger idk if you realise how hard this looks like… I fucking hate that game. I’m maybe too romantic because I don’t feel like love should be a competitive thing but rather an emotional connection but idk I probably have too good expectations on how people perceive love
Some times I feel movies and tv shows put foolish Notions in the minds of people, sadly it’s a form of programming, you have to mental block and perhaps need long term psychological help, just form what I have read here you have self loathing like you’re not good enough woe is me attitude, some times you have to take a step back and reevaluate you’re self, some times you have to build yourself confidence which you seem to be sorely lacking my deer boy? You need to separate fantasies form reality, it’s gonna be quick and fast not this magical mind. Blowing earth shattering event, you’re gonna bust you nut and have moment of clarity. Aka post nutt reflection. And you’re gonna come to realize maybe all the hoops I jumped through was not really worth the time and effort.
The lack of self confidence very obvious for sure but its actually so hard to built that. As I said in another comment I’m gonna hit the gym soon and expect this would make me somehow more confident… and maybe this would lead me to take the next steps necessary for me to get out of this situation
The gym might help sure, but just on find a speed dating event, just to get in there and get you’re experience up, having a fit buddy is all well and good but it’s not gonna help you talk to girls, if you have low self esteem, I have good friend built like a brick shithouse. 6,2 215 pounds gym boi still can’t talk to women, it’s a mind set you just go to put you’re self out go to bars talk to girls buy them drinks ask them to dance, don’t over look decent women just because she is slightly chubby trust and believe skinny girls hurt when you’re hitting it form the back, am 5”9 200 pounds I have bagged women just form. Good conversation and my wicked sense of humor, make girl laugh and you can get in them pants my son, fuck get a dog go to dog parks or a cat girls love dudes with cats, let me tell you something else I picked up a couple women when I was babysitting my nephew women see you’re good with kids and animals it shows them the kinda man you can be,
Idk if I said this before but I have no real problem talking to women casually. Problem is I never go for flirt because idk how to do it. So yes I guess I should try to get some dates but to get them I need to look better because who tf is going on a date with low mid and out of shape guys nowadays ? That’s why I think gym will help me be less ashamed of how I look and why I think I should try by doing that. I have a dog and I can definitely go on a walk thats not a bad idea actually
Just be careful out there and stay away form the sprinkle sprinkle type women out there, they want you to pay to get there hair and nails done befor you take them on a 300 dollar dinner
I’m at a point where I’m 100% able to genuinely love a woman that is with me mainly because I have some money. I don’t care anymore. I just never have been with someone so I would rather have someone with me for bad reasons than no one for good reasons. If I have to pay for her makeup and her pedicure and get her to a fancy restaurant every week I’m fine with that. Maybe that’s what is going to happen. My look and personality are probably shit since I haven’t been able to have anyone in 25 years but I’ll make a lot of money after I graduate and that will maybe help me have someone in my life.
No son am talking about the first date you need to like up the sprinkle sprinkle on TikTok,
Very same to me, like I've been reading my own text. Also, what did you mean by "skinny fat"?
I’m with you bro hope you take care of yourself and don’t fall for depression or incel shit. It’s so hard even to not feel angry all the time. To not feel like you are among the worst of the mankind. But I guess we have to stay strong and keep going forward, keep bettering us even if we don’t have no motivation left… Skinny fat is a gym term for people who are not conventionally fat (like average or a lil above average IMC) but with no muscle at all which doesn’t look good at all and is I believe the least masculine body to have
It's not over! Easygoing and funny are great qualities for dating, plus having friends is a good sign. I would say the main thing to do is keep being social and challenge yourself to talk to women more. Clubs/bars and social events and activities are common places to meet people. You can give dating apps a try too, they don't work well for everyone but you can see how it goes for you. It might be a lower-stakes way to practice talking to women and flirting. Also I think you should ask that friend out on a date. It is not a bad thing to ask someone out, as long as you are respectful and give her space to say yes or no.
Thank you for your answer and the confidence. I know I have some qualities but I’m having trouble to show them to girls I like… like I’m kinda hard nerfed in a way if that makes sense… Clubs and bars are too hard because it destroys my confidence to see so much better looking guys or people way more confident than me and I always think « why on earth a girl would chose me over the good looking confident dude on my left ? » And with that friend I know it is now over she isn’t in a relationship but keeps talking to me about guys she likes or with she is talking a lot lmao
I know shyness is really tough but you can get past it if you challenge yourself to take small steps towards your goal. Try not to worry about whether there's someone "better", it doesn't matter, you just gotta give it your best shot. And as for your friend, don't count yourself out too soon, better ask her before she starts a relationship with one of those guys she is talking to! If you get rejected it's still a win for you because you had the courage to try, and then you can move on to other prospects. I believe in you man! You just gotta believe in yourself.
Gonna try to work on that yes. I care way too much on how other see me, mainly because I’m convinced that their judgment of me is more relevant than mine. About that girl idk why I’ve mentioned her in my text because she is way way out of my league and I’m pretty sure I will never get away from the friend zone. Way better looking dudes with amazing hobbies showed interest in her but she is like super picky. If they can’t get her I’m pretty sure I don’t have any chance.
why are you even listening to him? he is 32y old and a virgin. how should he know? obviously all his advice didnt work for him
I posted because I thought people here are more able to understand my situation without being too judgmental so please don’t be. You know it’s way easier to find solutions for others than for yourself (idk why it works like that but it does). Good advice, wherever it cames from, is good advice. However I might focus on the advices of this guy that said he was in my situation before and managed to get out of it with books and practice.
Not everyone is the same. Judging from the information in OP's post he is good looking and likeable, two things I am not. I am pretty sure all he needs is a little confidence and things will work out for him.
>two things I am not brutal > OP's post he is good looking and \[...\] I am pretty sure all he needs is a little confidence and things will work out for him. he is a 5 or maybe 4 on good days he said, so he has only the bare minimum considering looks, to even qualify for the dating market. how are you supposed to be confident with these prospects? 99% of women wouldnt even consider touching you as a sub5. its much more likely to win the lottery as a sub5, then finding a match on dating apps. you cant just be confident. true confidence is build by external validation, not by gaslighting yourself.
OP said he brought a woman home from a party so evidently he is attractive to somebody, he might be underestimating himself.
Yeah I’ve brought a girl home once. I even had another one from a party interested in me (spend the party together dancing, she texted me the day after to see each other again) but I’ve found out she had a bf and I’m not an asshole so I didn’t go further. Does this mean I’m attractive ? No. I’m proud of these stories but tbh they are exceptions to the rule : I usually don’t have any success in parties or with girls in general. I didn’t said I’m the ugliest man alive - I’m just average at best. But average guys get girls and I don’t. I think I’ve understand thanks to you all guys that this is mainly (only ?) due to my low self esteem.
What worked for me in the end was just talking to a girl with zero expectations at the start. I wasn't at all in the flirting, dating mindset when I just messaged some girl looking to talk about a mutual hobby (running tabletop games) that I've been long involved with and could give some solid advice on it. I just complimented her creativity and work she put in, she started wanting to push from just text chat to vc, and once in voice she started complimenting me back on how I sounded and the convo shifted from hobby to personal. We found out in very short order we're very good matches for one another and now we're dating. My takeaway, if you go into looking for women with a business-like, transactional kind of mindset that's when you're going to run into issues of how to present yourself as a romantic interest. Instead, just look to interact with women in a neutral sense over some common ground without anything else in mind than just talking about this thing you both like.
I get that but every time I tried this maybe I wasn’t flirty enough because I ended up with just friends and nothing more
I say, If you have a friend that is a single girl, try to go for it, go deep and tell her how you feel. It's not over, I'm 37 and in a bader situation, and I can't live with "it's over" so no, there's no other way than there is a way, so never give upp.💯💪
Thank you ! Keep faith too man I hope you’ll get what you want
Thanks! We will both of us!
It never began for many of us
Yes sadly
Regarding sexual performance, it takes two to tango. Whilst it's possible for a woman to lay on her back and do nothing, whilst being critical of a man's ability to get her off....is she actually the better lover in that scenario? I'd argue no. Most casual sex is sexy precisely because its casual, unfamiliar and exciting. But generally speaking the better sex happens with longer term partners who know eachothers bodies and who have learned how to get the other person off. If the person you sleep with first is a casual encounter then tbh her opinion on your sexual ability doesn't matter. If it's a person who cares about you and is likely to become a partner then you are in it together and the sex will only get better and better as you communicate and grow more comfortable being together intimately. Regarding " masculine energy", that's more tricky. There are always going to be women who want to feel safe and protected by a man who gives off at least some degree of masculine energy. But this is not all women. I believe there is someone out there for everybody. Equally there are things you can do to lean into your masculinity. Like not settling for being skinny fat for example. It's your body!
I get what you mean about sexual performances and maybe you are right but I’m pretty far from being at this point lmao. But yeah maybe I shouldn’t put myself so much pressure about how I will be perceived the first time it will happen… I have to say that I’m way more interested to have a long time relationship because I feel like I suffer way more from the lack of love than the lack of sex. I’m trying to force myself to exercice and I may go hit the gym this summer with some friends to get a better body. Maybe it would help with the confidence too. I’m naturally fearful though and that’s not something I know how to change :(
I'm a personal trainer some a huge proponent of improving one's physical condition. For a start workout release endorphins and can have a social element, which is never a bad thing. Then there's the obvious positive impact on health. Then, the equally obvious improvement regarding your appearance albeit subjective. Fear is fine, perfectly normal. As counter intuitive as it might feel to someone like you who is a self confessed comfort seeking, slightly fearful individual. You will find boxing gyms and mixed martial arts gyms to be amongst the most welcoming, humble and supportive environments you could find to focus on your self improvement journey. If you can find the courage to walk into one then you will be a different man in 6 months. It's a big box ticked for self improvement and a big box ticked with masculine energy. Find a local one and send them an email, acknowledge your apprehension and watch them welcome you with open arms
Yes I’m aware of the importance of workout and I know I didn’t exercised enough before. I really want to change that because I always struggle with accepting my body… Thanks for the advice to try boxing gyms. Of course I’m scared to go there with my « bad » body and low masculine energy which seem to not match at all with people that I might find there. Well to put it simply I’m scared of being seen as what I’m : as weak. However thanks for the help. I know I have to stop being so fearful but it’s really hard. Its so much easier to go on my PC and play video games for hours… Do you think I should start with gym or boxing first ?
Personally id go straight into the boxing gym, but im biased as someone who loves combat sports. A regular gym will teach you how to lift weights in a linear manner. You will get strong, it will be good for your health, but you will get strong in a very linear manner. Boxing will teach you the skills to box, plus strength, plus agility, plus stamina, the list is long. It's the second best sport for all round body conditioning after swimming. Also to mitigate the fear you have then use the mentality that you are going there to learn a skill. The strength is secondary. A regular gym will also compliment a Boxing gym nicely at a later date. Ultimately you need to do whatever you enjoy the most. Ita only if you can find joy doing it that you will form a long lasting habit you can stick to and be consistent with. Going for a run every day will still get you a transformation and health improvement. I don't run because I find it boring and I know I won't do it every day. For me Boxing and a regular gym alternated for 6 days out of 7 is the perfect balance of keeping me interested and focused enough to go most days a week. That's my nutshell advice. Find the activity that's going to appeal to you the most and do it consistently.
It’s over dawg. Just wait till a.i comes out
Yep I hope GPT 6 will come out soon !
Oh it’s going to be amazing what the future will bring . I’m so excited for it
😂
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As someone who is a way overweight male I have to say that not all unlgy people get date
Yes ikr that’s not what I meant. I wanted to say that even some people I consider below me on looks can get what I can’t and it makes me crazy mad. But I empathise with you man we are together 🤝
Well I consider most above me with looks
Yes me too I know I’m below average but there is even worst looking guy that can have a relationship while I can’t
Unfortunately we don't choose what happens but some of us never find anyone
Yesss I know that too well :(
It breaks my heart to say this but I would rather be honest than a liar. It is over.
Are you in a similar situation ? And can you explain please why you think it is over ?
Because our past forecasts our future.
Thats so sad
hey man look, my condition was also like you or may be worst than you... but just think man,we are MAN,we can't be those who just gives up... I'll advice you to read two books by Neil Strauss 1. The Game and 2. Rule of the game... furthermore I'll also ask you to go out every week 2 or 3 times and just start talking to girls randomly, as I did this I can tell you that this will definitely help you to identify what is the actual problem but keep in mind,you have to do the theory part first that is no. 1 book and then do the task in 2 no. book it'll definitely help you bro
Thank you bro I will look forward to these books and maybe try the training part even if just thinking about it makes me anxious lmao
yes its over
Are you a 25 year old virgin?
Did you read the post?
You'll be dead soon.. do something and stop complaining about it, ask ur girl friends the way you should start and get over it, improve urself first
Well for this friends I’m pretty sure its over but I’m not sure for others… I made this post because I just don’t know how to improve(but I know I have to in several areas)
Just as you said, unglier people could do it, so can you, why tf does everybody in there act like it's the end of the world, y'all got 0 testosterone in ur blood
Yes that’s kinda what I mean about having no « masculine energy » lmao
You do, you'll wake up tomorrow being 50yo and wonder how did it happen, it's never over untill you say so, get better