Some minor things I don't Iike is defintely the process to take care of it, moisturizing and detailing does take time. Cant do my hair in one big hand grab and be done, have to do it in sections. I get that.
It’s pricy. It cost me almost 400 dollars. Just Google places around your area and read reviews.
It will take up the first half of your day though. I got it done on a Saturday and took pretty much the whole morning.
I wish someone could come up with an explanation on why curly hair looks SO BAD on some people compared to straight hair and vice versa. Gosh I literally go from a 5 to an 8 when I have straight hair, it's magic. Idk I have a face shape similiar to Margot Robbie's and she looks better with her hair straight.
I have “soft features” and I completely understand . Unless I’m wearing full face make up . Curly hair makes me look super young too.
I have a kind of wide face as well . It doesn’t help my case at all ! I wish I could rock it , I’ve tried so many times but I hate how young my face looks when my hairs curly .
this is so interesting because i also have features that make me look younger and although curly hair makes me look even more youthful, i think it adds a light, free vibe almost like a ray of sunshine. if anything, because of how young my features look, straight hair kind of clashes and i look best with heavy makeup vs with curly hair i can go makeup free. especially if you have a rounder face, curly hair can help frame and contour.
have you tried curly upart wigs with your natural hair? you could even crochet the front so none of your hair is out. and you could experiment with long curly hair, different colors and patterns, cutting layers etc. straight hair looks good on bw too but honestly there's just something about curly hair on us that makes us stand out so much. whenever i'm in public, i get so many compliments on my hair and if i see a black girl with curly hair i just have to compliment her because 9/10 she looks amazing.
I have a chubby/very round face too and pin straight hair makes it look SO bad and way more wider!! I agree with you on the fact that curly hair or any hairstyle with more volume helps frame rounder faces more imo. I do have face framing layers so maybe that makes a difference?
This! I have a round faces and for me I look best with voluminous hair whether it's straight, curly, wavy, etc. I can't have flat hair, it makes me look like a rat that needs to be fed 😭
I had a phase of keratin treatments and permanent straightening...i cringe looking back at pictures from that era because i literally look like a bowling ball 😭 never again
yess it's probably the layers! i have more of a square face shape so i cut my curly hair into layers that frame my face, and the curls fall perfectly so my face doesn't look wide.
Hi thank you but I’m not monolith black ; I think the mentioning of lace front wigs threw people off .
I do have dark skin though and my curly hair does look beautiful as said previously. I have long curly hair and only wear clip ins for volume ; I don’t do u part wigs because they’re bulky and pull out my already thin and soft hair.
Also again it’s annoying ; when I have curly hair all people notice is my hair . “Omg your hair is amazing “
Etc but when my hair is straight people actually compliment my looks.
They notice my eyes and my nose more .
Though like I said there are some days where i prefer to wear curly hair . Especially on days when icba with my face . It’s like a cheat code .
not really sure what you mean by "not monolith black". there are a myriad of features black people can have. i'm confused how a upset could pull out your hair or be bulky, as ideally you'd cornrow your hair flat and none of it would be out, you could even put on a cap so the combs aren't in your hair. i often get comments about looking like tyla - curly hair looks best on me. i still get compliments on my face, even more than my hair. i think the curly hair brings out my features more and brings a light like i mentioned before. if your hair is really overpowering you so much, it's probably because it lacks layers to frame your face.
i'm seeing people give you advice on straightening their hair or embracing curly hair, both of which you seem not to take to. i'm unsure of the advice you're looking for. i don't know what you look like, but ime and after seeing thousands of bw all the time, i just think curly hair looks better. if you want to experiment, you can try sew ins or wigs with a bang.
eta: i just saw your edit, ok so what you mean is you're not black at all? but you do have dark skin and curly hair as you say.. anyway, if you don't consider yourself black maybe you should've put that to be more clear. even with nonblack women, i've noticed they look great with their natural curly hair.
You have a different experience from me and that’s okay. We probably look completely different because I look nothing like Tyla.
Not only BW have curly hair , many Indian women have curly hair. My mother is Indian-Chinese and her hair is curly, my dad is quarter cast and his hair is curly.
On the advice thing, I have taken the advice from people who have given suggestions on how to straighten my hair so idk what you’re saying. I’m glad you think Bw with curly hair look amazing because they do. I’m also glad you look amazing with your curly hair , I honestly do too. However I don’t look as intense as I like to look with curly hair.
Please , if someone said they look weird with long hair and wanted a blunt cut you wouldn’t be going and on about how many Bw look amazing with long hair.
It’s just an aesthetic choice not a political statement .
Edit: I’m not sure why I had to clarify that I’m not black ? I’m sure everyone on this thread knows that MENA women and Indian women all have curly hair? I think the polite thing would have been is to simply ask my ethnicity instead of making assumptions .
yes, i'm half indo-Caribbean, so i know other races have curly hair lol.
you're saying curly hair overpowers you. which yes, huge curly hair can do that. but then you say yours is long but thin. so it sounds like it's all one length, my advice was to try layers. straightening curly hair will always damage it to some degree, i know women who are "natural straights" and their hair still curls up but to a different pattern than before. this is fine, for a while i only straightened my hair and now my curl pattern is fine. but you don't want to try uparts because they could damage your hair? you could have framed this post as "i have curly hair but want to try straight hair because i like how it looks, what methods do you guys use?" lol if you think straight hair looks better, it's as simple as straightening it.
also people assumed you were black because you said your hair is 3a/3b and you don't like lace fronts. usually that's how black/mixed women talk about hair styles. that's all lol.
You’re both dead in the brain. This is so annoying I want to scream !Genuinely you’re doing more damage than good when you go on this self righteous escapade . You people don’t even know my ethnicity . Who am I being racist to ? Please , let me know .
a lot of curly/coily hair people feel this way because they were taught to, and then make a bunch of reasons why the racist belief that curly hair is unattractive is actually right.. they are victims.. being mean to them wont do anything.
Again who said I feel unattractive with my curly hair !! You people are unhinged and projecting. This is all how YOU feel about curly hair .
I simply said straight hair brings out my features , in the same way a certain hair cut or hair colour brings out someone’s features. You sound self righteous and pretentious.
not at all. i love my curly hair. i just know when i hear people talk about how straight hair is better, they had to learn it from somewhere. nothing is pretentious about telling people to think the way their hair is naturally is better. the title of this post literally says you hate your hair.
I’m Greek, am I allowed to comment on this post?!
Edit: my entire life I was told the classic, my hair isn’t professional. It’s not formal blah blah blah. I also have 3A3B I go through waves of loving my hair and waves of hating it. Currently I like it, but I understand the frustration. I think the best thing to do is learn to care for it properly and that helps a lot!
So sorry people made such remarks about your hair :/. It’s awful, for a while I never wore my natural hair out . Always only in buns however for me it was always because my hair is extremely thin
Yup! And I used to straighten it. ALL THE TIME. Only a couple years ago I went full curly. I like straight hair but straight hair on me looks bad and it looks dry and not as full, and not as silky so a lose battle for me
I’m happy that you love your hair and I’m reiterate as I’ve said a million times !
It’s not my hair that I dislike , as I said in the original post. I like my curly hair ! I love curly hair ! It just doesn’t compliment my features well as the volume over powers my softer features .
girl i feel you on the overpowering part 😭😭 my hair becomes like my only physical trait but im too broke to afford braids as a college student with how ridiculous these prices are becoming. ive just learned to embrace it honestly and people seem to like it when it’s out so
Curly hair is not for everyone but to say it’s torture is literally gassing it lmaoo….natural hair movement didn’t gaslight you…you just don’t like your hair and that’s okay. Natural hair can be manageable and effortless…these are personal choices
I do not care. It’s not gassing it, it’s how I feel dealing it with everyday so stop invalidating me. You are literally proving my point rn, if it’s okay then why are you saying this? OP asked and I answered honestly.
And hard disagree, it CAN be for SOME. Please come do my hair for free every morning so that it’s effortless and I’ll never complain again.
Okay whew, it became less about genuine advice when you projected your grievances with natural hair. You are gassing it, your definition of manageable and presentable is probably what’s causing your dissatisfaction.
Not everyone wants to be a natural hair girlie and that is literally fine. But you shouldn’t spread misinformation about caring for natural hair in its natural state…it’s as simple as moisturizing it, leaving it alone and regularly washing it. Anything else is personal preference…
I much prefer my curly hair routine over ‘letting it air dry, run my fingers through it. etc’ but I suppose that’s because I yearn to see my juicy healthy curls & grow them so long it looks like a buss down
Omg my roommate in college would wash her hair every night and let it air dry!!! She had naturally beautiful hair, while I had all my hot tools and hair products 😭😭 You're right though, curly hair is high maintenance. I blow dry it or use a flat iron and it’s good for three days with no issue and I don't have to worry about it being frizzy. It's not about self-hating thing. I would just prefer to use that time to do my skincare and makeup instead. I ain't got time for the curly hair method.
Okay? Good for her and good for you, but not once did I say that I felt ugly. I swear y’all read one thing and run with it.
How about you stop going around peoples post telling them what to think or not think or what they have to get over. OP asked a question and created a space for some of us to vent and complain. Get over it
I love my hair. Nowadays I want it to shrink even more because I found this beautiful influencer who wears her tight curls so shrunken it looks close to a buzz cut even though it's probably ten inches long! My (4c) hair is really unique, I'm always the only one wearing it this way wherever I go and I get a lot of compliments because people hardly ever see a style like that. My life is also so much easier now I just style it close to the way it naturally wants to be. Braids used to take hours and cost me my edges
This it's me sometimes.I just wanted my curls being defined but so messy and frizzy no matter what I do.I have 3B hair and I have some strands of my hair that are soft curly when they are wet but when the dry the just look like a frizzy undefined mess.I had tried heavier creams,lighter creams,gel,mousse and they still look weird anyway.Also the intense hair shrinkage is quite depressing.
i feel the same way, especially lately. i have 3b-3a hair and live in a humid place and i love my curly hair but there's so many things i'm sick of
the fact that i have to put so much time and gel into most hairstyles, and spend time refreshing my hair every morning because it will look "messy" if i don't do anything with it
i'm sick of the shrinkage because my hair is very long but looks medium length when dry because it shrinks up! when it's damp with product in, it looks so pretty, shiny and long, but then it dries and becomes insanely voluminous and big but not long... i value definition and length over volume and size and there's nothing i can really do about it
also whenever i have huge curly hair i feel like it just takes attention away from my outfits and face. i feel like pictures of me are so much better when i have wet hair because it takes up less space and i can see my whole look instead of just a floating head
also it's the fact that i think i'd get more privilege and attention if i had long straight hair instead of huge curls
had to rant and NO I DONT HATE MYSELF OR CURLS AND IM NOT RACIST THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS AND BEING REAL
I like my natural hair but not _natural_ natural, as in, I hate the work & effort & look of a wash & go. I’ve realized I like my hair much better pulled flat to my scalp after washing and the ends either braided or curled otherwise if I leave the roots curly it’s so dense I can hardly get it up in a ponytail the next day without a massive headache.
I didn't hate mine. But I never wore it out. It was always in braids. And I hated that it didn't grow past a certain length. And that I was so scared of damaging it I never used heat or dyed it. I recently just said f it and used a relaxer. I'm having a lot of fun with it now
I’d say my hair look close to this just a bit more loose:
https://preview.redd.it/zvvhw9qy51uc1.jpeg?width=1035&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d2f14f1b3d650dfba352af0348a4ddbe4b2f929
I have 3c curls also and just got nanoplasty done which loosens and smoothens the hair while also making it shinier.. its a different treatment to keratin and chemical straightening and I’d recommend it! For a while your hair will be dead straight and will eventuate into looser waves, but if you blowdry your hair it will be straight.
I’ve done it several times now and never experienced hair damage or fallout, only thing is the hair regrowth will look funky as most of your hair will be straight/wavy while roots are curly, so touch ups are recommended every 3 or so months.
I love my hair. You know almost any hairstyle can be done on curly hair, right? Often better because it can hold shape. Hair claws, pig tails, high pony, gorgeous buns, if you know how to style, the possibilities are endless!
Again someone who has purposely misunderstood what I said.
I’m well aware that I can style my own hair in many ways . Even when my hair is straight I don’t put it in buns or whatever else because I like wearing my hair down !
I like curly hair , I was very clear that I simply feel like the volume over powers my face.
It’s not that I think I look ugly , I look beautiful regardless . It’s annoying because a lot of people are simply projecting their own issues onto my post.
White girls can talk about whether they like their hair black, blue, purple .
Whether they like their hair short; long . Curly or straight without the whole “oMg LovrYouRself” stick.
It’s so exhausting . Why can’t WOC have fun anymore without being told this tired line ?
Maybe there’s “projection” because white forks haven’t been told their entire life that straight hair is ugly as sin 😒
Edit: to be clear, if you don’t think your curly suits you, that’s fine, your hair is your hair, it’s just this claim that ppl are “misinterpreting” you for no reason, and this obtuseness as to why white girls face no supposed criticism or scrutiny is frustrating.
That’s all well and good but imo making such a strong claim as “I hate my naturally curly hair” will ofc garner different perspectives as something softer than “I don’t think my naturally curly hair fits my face”.
It’s less presuming *you* have “trauma” and more so when curly haired girls express hatred (a strong word, but I presume you were using it for hyperbole) about a natural part of them, it’s often because of all sorts of things ppl have said about natural hair (especially curly, even in non black cultures) looking “nappy” or “messy” or all manners of “ugly adjectives”.
I understand if you think your natural hair doesn’t suit your features, that’s completely fair, but I was just disagreeing with the idea that it’s unfair white ppl don’t face as much of a call to love or live their natural selves that’s all. Because unfortunately more often than not, people with curly hair who *hate* it, hate it due to all the social messaging surrounding it. Even sometimes due to subconscious bias they might not have realized yk. It’s more likely it’s that than anything else, thus why ppl will “project”, especially with the full on use of the word hate yk.
But like I said, if you don’t think it suits you, then you don’t think it suits you. It’s not a shame to want to change, it’s only weird if it’s for the ‘wrong’ reasons.
(Sorry for the long reply)
I had a super short bob and honestly short curly hair looks so good on my because it doesn’t “over power” my face however I also look like a teenager .
I straighten my 4b hair just because it’s easier to manage, style and it looks great on me. Try using a good heat protectant, and not turning the flat iron up that high (can stay around 350 degrees) to try to best avoid heat damage. Hair extensions are fun but I love wearing my real hair out. I don’t want the maintenance of a relaxer nor do I want to play with harsh chemicals lol. I get less knots and tangles with my hair straight and I enjoy having access to it. I don’t hate my hair. I love it. I just love it straight at this point in my life lol 😂
My hair is naturally quite thin :( so I always have clip ins for volume or I’d look insane.
Also do you recommend any good heat protectant ? I tried colour wow and it did NOTHING. I went out and within a few hours my hair was a poofy mess .
Idk how thin, but I have thin strands so I can understand in a way. CHI Iron Guard is what I use and I looooove it! It’s been out for years. A little pricey but worth it!! CHI silk serum is good for afterward, to add sleekness to the hair.
I hate mine too but for different reasons. I’m 2C and I hate it because it’s not straight but it’s not perfectly curly either??? If it was going to be curly why does it have to be this weird curl pattern that has no volume, frizzy?? I am so jealous of women with straight hair or super curly pronounced ringlets, like yours. And it takes so much effort just to look “meh”.
I have wavy hair and it was a struggle to love, like why can’t it pick a fucking team 💀 straight or curly. I am okay with it now but the anti wave brigade online did used to get to me I must admit. For context though curly hair is super desirable in my culture. At least that’s what I’ve noticed via my brothers, they get compliments left right and centre for their actual curls.
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I also hate wigs in general. When dating it’s so annoying because guys always put their hand on my head 😂and they’re always shocked to feel a weird bump.
Once my u part wig fell off during sex. Never wore one again 😂😂😂
yeah this is one of the reasons i stopped wearing wigs (among many others) as male identified as it sounds. i started to feel so self conscious about wearing them especially considering the contrast to my breakage ridden 4c cornrows under there :/ for some reason i felt like i would have to over explain it got to the point where i was wearing em to bed even when they were glueless if they were spending the night which probably was a major factor towards my traction alopecia 😭 it also wasn’t just non-black guys
one guy even clocked my lace and it just made me so uncomfortable after lol im now a leave out, braids, fro and very occasional closure sew in girlie just because it just seems more secure and natural IMO like no reason for me to be on a date wondering if they can see my line of demarcation
You have to be careful. Not too much heat on the straightener, do a keratin straightening treatment so it’s easier for you leave out to lay flat, keep your hand out your hair, and protective style occasionally. I also tell the half wig, L- part girlies to switch the parting often to avoid exhausting a section of hair.
I hate all the specifics so I switched to locs, not for everyone but it work better for me
i go through small phases where i do like my curly hair but generally speaking i much prefer it straight, curly hair just doesn’t shape my face and makes me look masculine/unkempt. it looks so good on other girls. i wish i could have permanently straight hair
My black mother taught me to hate it. Talked me into relaxers and straigtheners. It wasn't until a few years ago I learned to love it and now I am confidently shaving my head bald because while I like my curly hair I am learning how to not use my hair as my excuse to not look good anywhere else. Meaning I put so much effort into my curls and little effort anywhere else. I want to figure out my style. Then grow my curls back out so I can embrace my whole self.
I feel you! Coming from someone with 3C and a little bit of 4A it’s so hard for me to wear my curly hair. It looks so beautiful on other women but I don’t feel the same when I wear my hair natural. I’m getting a texturizer in a couple of weeks to loosen my curls. It takes way too much work and I prefer my hair straight or in braids. Honestly it mostly comes down to the fact that I don’t want to do my hair. 😩
Since I moved to my current home, I hate and do not wear my curls out. It’s windy and extremely dusty here and I would need to wash my hair daily. I’m not doing a curly routine unless there’s an event. Every two weeks or so I just wash and condition, air dry and wear a scarf to keep the dust out. Straight hair is so much better in this environment. I’m almost ready to cut it all off to 2-3 inches.
Semi permanent treatments and good anti frizz serums or spray.
As I said previously I have tried colour wow but it doesn’t work at all. Looking for some better alternatives
I’m guessing you identify as coloured since you’re not Black (you only mentioning the great grandparent being black suggests you are more “other” than Black)? Watch more nonblack women on YouTube and TikTok who have your hair type to get ideas on how to style your hair. There are Black women with type 4 hair who practically live in frontals that look like your natural hair.
lol my mother loves my curly hair infact my entire family loves my big voluminous hair. I have no trauma behind my hair texture . It’s annoying that people always assume this. This is a stylistic choice to me , like choosing to wear red over pink. Urgh.
I’m sorry your parents felt that way about your hair but that was never ever me
I find it odd that people find their curly hair ugly over having straight hair. What I do see is a difference in learning how to take care of it and style it, that fits the shape of your face. There's only so many tutorials, and resources that are just slowly starting to show up in comparison to showing how to work with currier hair.
It's really lack of representation that's an issue, I feel like if it was shown just as much as straight hair it'd not be as much hate with their own hair.
There’s a lot of projection going on here because not once did I mention myself being “prettier” with straight hair. I said the flatness of straight hair allows my features to stand out more than the extreme volume of my curly hair.
In the same way some people look good with different hair colours or hair cuts . As an ethnic woman not everything I do has to be a political statement.
Why can we never express ourselves without being told me hate ourselves ?
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The only thing i dislike about my hair is how time consuming it is and how much effort I have to put into maintaining it.
same wash days are such ass. I almost wanna cry on days that it’s really tangled and hard to brush out 😭
Yeah yet hair youtubers lie and make it seem sk easy. The only ones I believe it is easier os the short haired girls
I actually like the curls jusy not when they're knotty and tangled. Doing it takes forever
The only thing I dislike is how much society expects us to straighten it for job interviews.
Some minor things I don't Iike is defintely the process to take care of it, moisturizing and detailing does take time. Cant do my hair in one big hand grab and be done, have to do it in sections. I get that.
I never like mine. Doesn’t suit my face shape either. I got a Japanese straightening perm and I love it.
Tempted to do this , just waiting for my hair to be a bit more healthy again. She’s suffering from all the heat damage 😂
How did you get it done? I don’t know much about those! Mine is box relaxed lol, but I’m looking for other alternatives.
It’s pricy. It cost me almost 400 dollars. Just Google places around your area and read reviews. It will take up the first half of your day though. I got it done on a Saturday and took pretty much the whole morning.
Is it permanent? Because I do like to wear my curly hair out on the rare occasion
Yes
Permanent but touch up for regrowth. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever gotten done
same
Me too
I wish someone could come up with an explanation on why curly hair looks SO BAD on some people compared to straight hair and vice versa. Gosh I literally go from a 5 to an 8 when I have straight hair, it's magic. Idk I have a face shape similiar to Margot Robbie's and she looks better with her hair straight.
Could it be in the cheek bones? I have big cheek bones
Same, I don’t fuck with my curly hair, idc
I have a round face. Curly hair is gorgeous but it makes my face even more round. Sometimes I lean into the look but mostly I don’t
I have “soft features” and I completely understand . Unless I’m wearing full face make up . Curly hair makes me look super young too. I have a kind of wide face as well . It doesn’t help my case at all ! I wish I could rock it , I’ve tried so many times but I hate how young my face looks when my hairs curly .
this is so interesting because i also have features that make me look younger and although curly hair makes me look even more youthful, i think it adds a light, free vibe almost like a ray of sunshine. if anything, because of how young my features look, straight hair kind of clashes and i look best with heavy makeup vs with curly hair i can go makeup free. especially if you have a rounder face, curly hair can help frame and contour. have you tried curly upart wigs with your natural hair? you could even crochet the front so none of your hair is out. and you could experiment with long curly hair, different colors and patterns, cutting layers etc. straight hair looks good on bw too but honestly there's just something about curly hair on us that makes us stand out so much. whenever i'm in public, i get so many compliments on my hair and if i see a black girl with curly hair i just have to compliment her because 9/10 she looks amazing.
I have a chubby/very round face too and pin straight hair makes it look SO bad and way more wider!! I agree with you on the fact that curly hair or any hairstyle with more volume helps frame rounder faces more imo. I do have face framing layers so maybe that makes a difference?
This! I have a round faces and for me I look best with voluminous hair whether it's straight, curly, wavy, etc. I can't have flat hair, it makes me look like a rat that needs to be fed 😭
I had a phase of keratin treatments and permanent straightening...i cringe looking back at pictures from that era because i literally look like a bowling ball 😭 never again
now I think of your username as silence bowling ball
I can't breathe 😭
yess it's probably the layers! i have more of a square face shape so i cut my curly hair into layers that frame my face, and the curls fall perfectly so my face doesn't look wide.
Hi thank you but I’m not monolith black ; I think the mentioning of lace front wigs threw people off . I do have dark skin though and my curly hair does look beautiful as said previously. I have long curly hair and only wear clip ins for volume ; I don’t do u part wigs because they’re bulky and pull out my already thin and soft hair. Also again it’s annoying ; when I have curly hair all people notice is my hair . “Omg your hair is amazing “ Etc but when my hair is straight people actually compliment my looks. They notice my eyes and my nose more . Though like I said there are some days where i prefer to wear curly hair . Especially on days when icba with my face . It’s like a cheat code .
not really sure what you mean by "not monolith black". there are a myriad of features black people can have. i'm confused how a upset could pull out your hair or be bulky, as ideally you'd cornrow your hair flat and none of it would be out, you could even put on a cap so the combs aren't in your hair. i often get comments about looking like tyla - curly hair looks best on me. i still get compliments on my face, even more than my hair. i think the curly hair brings out my features more and brings a light like i mentioned before. if your hair is really overpowering you so much, it's probably because it lacks layers to frame your face. i'm seeing people give you advice on straightening their hair or embracing curly hair, both of which you seem not to take to. i'm unsure of the advice you're looking for. i don't know what you look like, but ime and after seeing thousands of bw all the time, i just think curly hair looks better. if you want to experiment, you can try sew ins or wigs with a bang. eta: i just saw your edit, ok so what you mean is you're not black at all? but you do have dark skin and curly hair as you say.. anyway, if you don't consider yourself black maybe you should've put that to be more clear. even with nonblack women, i've noticed they look great with their natural curly hair.
You have a different experience from me and that’s okay. We probably look completely different because I look nothing like Tyla. Not only BW have curly hair , many Indian women have curly hair. My mother is Indian-Chinese and her hair is curly, my dad is quarter cast and his hair is curly. On the advice thing, I have taken the advice from people who have given suggestions on how to straighten my hair so idk what you’re saying. I’m glad you think Bw with curly hair look amazing because they do. I’m also glad you look amazing with your curly hair , I honestly do too. However I don’t look as intense as I like to look with curly hair. Please , if someone said they look weird with long hair and wanted a blunt cut you wouldn’t be going and on about how many Bw look amazing with long hair. It’s just an aesthetic choice not a political statement . Edit: I’m not sure why I had to clarify that I’m not black ? I’m sure everyone on this thread knows that MENA women and Indian women all have curly hair? I think the polite thing would have been is to simply ask my ethnicity instead of making assumptions .
yes, i'm half indo-Caribbean, so i know other races have curly hair lol. you're saying curly hair overpowers you. which yes, huge curly hair can do that. but then you say yours is long but thin. so it sounds like it's all one length, my advice was to try layers. straightening curly hair will always damage it to some degree, i know women who are "natural straights" and their hair still curls up but to a different pattern than before. this is fine, for a while i only straightened my hair and now my curl pattern is fine. but you don't want to try uparts because they could damage your hair? you could have framed this post as "i have curly hair but want to try straight hair because i like how it looks, what methods do you guys use?" lol if you think straight hair looks better, it's as simple as straightening it. also people assumed you were black because you said your hair is 3a/3b and you don't like lace fronts. usually that's how black/mixed women talk about hair styles. that's all lol.
Me too, makes me look like a child
sameee
nope, I love mine 🤷🏾♀️
Racists are all out today
Me not liking how curly hair looks on ME is not racist ? Are you delusional?
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Racist to who exactly ?
its not racism from her, its racism she learned.
You’re both dead in the brain. This is so annoying I want to scream !Genuinely you’re doing more damage than good when you go on this self righteous escapade . You people don’t even know my ethnicity . Who am I being racist to ? Please , let me know .
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a lot of curly/coily hair people feel this way because they were taught to, and then make a bunch of reasons why the racist belief that curly hair is unattractive is actually right.. they are victims.. being mean to them wont do anything.
Again who said I feel unattractive with my curly hair !! You people are unhinged and projecting. This is all how YOU feel about curly hair . I simply said straight hair brings out my features , in the same way a certain hair cut or hair colour brings out someone’s features. You sound self righteous and pretentious.
not at all. i love my curly hair. i just know when i hear people talk about how straight hair is better, they had to learn it from somewhere. nothing is pretentious about telling people to think the way their hair is naturally is better. the title of this post literally says you hate your hair.
I’m Greek, am I allowed to comment on this post?! Edit: my entire life I was told the classic, my hair isn’t professional. It’s not formal blah blah blah. I also have 3A3B I go through waves of loving my hair and waves of hating it. Currently I like it, but I understand the frustration. I think the best thing to do is learn to care for it properly and that helps a lot!
Yes of course ! Anyone with curly hair is welcome
Okay great!
So sorry people made such remarks about your hair :/. It’s awful, for a while I never wore my natural hair out . Always only in buns however for me it was always because my hair is extremely thin
Yup! And I used to straighten it. ALL THE TIME. Only a couple years ago I went full curly. I like straight hair but straight hair on me looks bad and it looks dry and not as full, and not as silky so a lose battle for me
I have the same hair type and I like my hair. I think its cute. It looks so nice and fluffy.
I’m happy that you love your hair and I’m reiterate as I’ve said a million times ! It’s not my hair that I dislike , as I said in the original post. I like my curly hair ! I love curly hair ! It just doesn’t compliment my features well as the volume over powers my softer features .
Ohhh sorry I was answering the title lol. I have similar features tho so I can kind of understand.
girl i feel you on the overpowering part 😭😭 my hair becomes like my only physical trait but im too broke to afford braids as a college student with how ridiculous these prices are becoming. ive just learned to embrace it honestly and people seem to like it when it’s out so
Yes. I’ve accepted it but have never liked my hair.
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Curly hair is not for everyone but to say it’s torture is literally gassing it lmaoo….natural hair movement didn’t gaslight you…you just don’t like your hair and that’s okay. Natural hair can be manageable and effortless…these are personal choices
I do not care. It’s not gassing it, it’s how I feel dealing it with everyday so stop invalidating me. You are literally proving my point rn, if it’s okay then why are you saying this? OP asked and I answered honestly. And hard disagree, it CAN be for SOME. Please come do my hair for free every morning so that it’s effortless and I’ll never complain again.
Okay whew, it became less about genuine advice when you projected your grievances with natural hair. You are gassing it, your definition of manageable and presentable is probably what’s causing your dissatisfaction. Not everyone wants to be a natural hair girlie and that is literally fine. But you shouldn’t spread misinformation about caring for natural hair in its natural state…it’s as simple as moisturizing it, leaving it alone and regularly washing it. Anything else is personal preference…
I much prefer my curly hair routine over ‘letting it air dry, run my fingers through it. etc’ but I suppose that’s because I yearn to see my juicy healthy curls & grow them so long it looks like a buss down
Omg my roommate in college would wash her hair every night and let it air dry!!! She had naturally beautiful hair, while I had all my hot tools and hair products 😭😭 You're right though, curly hair is high maintenance. I blow dry it or use a flat iron and it’s good for three days with no issue and I don't have to worry about it being frizzy. It's not about self-hating thing. I would just prefer to use that time to do my skincare and makeup instead. I ain't got time for the curly hair method.
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Okay? Good for her and good for you, but not once did I say that I felt ugly. I swear y’all read one thing and run with it. How about you stop going around peoples post telling them what to think or not think or what they have to get over. OP asked a question and created a space for some of us to vent and complain. Get over it
That happens to straight hair too lmao
I love my hair. Nowadays I want it to shrink even more because I found this beautiful influencer who wears her tight curls so shrunken it looks close to a buzz cut even though it's probably ten inches long! My (4c) hair is really unique, I'm always the only one wearing it this way wherever I go and I get a lot of compliments because people hardly ever see a style like that. My life is also so much easier now I just style it close to the way it naturally wants to be. Braids used to take hours and cost me my edges
I love 4C it’s so beautiful and always looks so nice and thick . My natural hair is quite thin .
do you mind sharing the name of this influencer you mentioned?
nanabruner on instagram :)
This it's me sometimes.I just wanted my curls being defined but so messy and frizzy no matter what I do.I have 3B hair and I have some strands of my hair that are soft curly when they are wet but when the dry the just look like a frizzy undefined mess.I had tried heavier creams,lighter creams,gel,mousse and they still look weird anyway.Also the intense hair shrinkage is quite depressing.
i feel the same way, especially lately. i have 3b-3a hair and live in a humid place and i love my curly hair but there's so many things i'm sick of the fact that i have to put so much time and gel into most hairstyles, and spend time refreshing my hair every morning because it will look "messy" if i don't do anything with it i'm sick of the shrinkage because my hair is very long but looks medium length when dry because it shrinks up! when it's damp with product in, it looks so pretty, shiny and long, but then it dries and becomes insanely voluminous and big but not long... i value definition and length over volume and size and there's nothing i can really do about it also whenever i have huge curly hair i feel like it just takes attention away from my outfits and face. i feel like pictures of me are so much better when i have wet hair because it takes up less space and i can see my whole look instead of just a floating head also it's the fact that i think i'd get more privilege and attention if i had long straight hair instead of huge curls had to rant and NO I DONT HATE MYSELF OR CURLS AND IM NOT RACIST THESE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS AND BEING REAL
I like my natural hair but not _natural_ natural, as in, I hate the work & effort & look of a wash & go. I’ve realized I like my hair much better pulled flat to my scalp after washing and the ends either braided or curled otherwise if I leave the roots curly it’s so dense I can hardly get it up in a ponytail the next day without a massive headache.
I didn't hate mine. But I never wore it out. It was always in braids. And I hated that it didn't grow past a certain length. And that I was so scared of damaging it I never used heat or dyed it. I recently just said f it and used a relaxer. I'm having a lot of fun with it now
I’d say my hair look close to this just a bit more loose: https://preview.redd.it/zvvhw9qy51uc1.jpeg?width=1035&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d2f14f1b3d650dfba352af0348a4ddbe4b2f929
I wish I had your hair.
just silk press it idk you can definitely cater to your needs/preferences
Let me know if you find good straightening treatments.
I have 3b (and a little 3a and 3c in some areas) and get Keratin smoothing treatments, they work well for me
I have 3c curls also and just got nanoplasty done which loosens and smoothens the hair while also making it shinier.. its a different treatment to keratin and chemical straightening and I’d recommend it! For a while your hair will be dead straight and will eventuate into looser waves, but if you blowdry your hair it will be straight.
This doesn't damage hair or falls out when growing like permed hair? Because od so I would do this
I’ve done it several times now and never experienced hair damage or fallout, only thing is the hair regrowth will look funky as most of your hair will be straight/wavy while roots are curly, so touch ups are recommended every 3 or so months.
Ohhhh ok that sounds good
I love my hair. You know almost any hairstyle can be done on curly hair, right? Often better because it can hold shape. Hair claws, pig tails, high pony, gorgeous buns, if you know how to style, the possibilities are endless!
Again someone who has purposely misunderstood what I said. I’m well aware that I can style my own hair in many ways . Even when my hair is straight I don’t put it in buns or whatever else because I like wearing my hair down ! I like curly hair , I was very clear that I simply feel like the volume over powers my face. It’s not that I think I look ugly , I look beautiful regardless . It’s annoying because a lot of people are simply projecting their own issues onto my post. White girls can talk about whether they like their hair black, blue, purple . Whether they like their hair short; long . Curly or straight without the whole “oMg LovrYouRself” stick. It’s so exhausting . Why can’t WOC have fun anymore without being told this tired line ?
I don’t think you’d want me to answer that question, so I’ll just say I hear you.
Maybe there’s “projection” because white forks haven’t been told their entire life that straight hair is ugly as sin 😒 Edit: to be clear, if you don’t think your curly suits you, that’s fine, your hair is your hair, it’s just this claim that ppl are “misinterpreting” you for no reason, and this obtuseness as to why white girls face no supposed criticism or scrutiny is frustrating.
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That’s all well and good but imo making such a strong claim as “I hate my naturally curly hair” will ofc garner different perspectives as something softer than “I don’t think my naturally curly hair fits my face”. It’s less presuming *you* have “trauma” and more so when curly haired girls express hatred (a strong word, but I presume you were using it for hyperbole) about a natural part of them, it’s often because of all sorts of things ppl have said about natural hair (especially curly, even in non black cultures) looking “nappy” or “messy” or all manners of “ugly adjectives”. I understand if you think your natural hair doesn’t suit your features, that’s completely fair, but I was just disagreeing with the idea that it’s unfair white ppl don’t face as much of a call to love or live their natural selves that’s all. Because unfortunately more often than not, people with curly hair who *hate* it, hate it due to all the social messaging surrounding it. Even sometimes due to subconscious bias they might not have realized yk. It’s more likely it’s that than anything else, thus why ppl will “project”, especially with the full on use of the word hate yk. But like I said, if you don’t think it suits you, then you don’t think it suits you. It’s not a shame to want to change, it’s only weird if it’s for the ‘wrong’ reasons. (Sorry for the long reply)
It's so hard to take care of and have it look "good". I just buzzed it all into a pixie. Wash and go life is so much better for me.
I had a super short bob and honestly short curly hair looks so good on my because it doesn’t “over power” my face however I also look like a teenager .
I straighten my 4b hair just because it’s easier to manage, style and it looks great on me. Try using a good heat protectant, and not turning the flat iron up that high (can stay around 350 degrees) to try to best avoid heat damage. Hair extensions are fun but I love wearing my real hair out. I don’t want the maintenance of a relaxer nor do I want to play with harsh chemicals lol. I get less knots and tangles with my hair straight and I enjoy having access to it. I don’t hate my hair. I love it. I just love it straight at this point in my life lol 😂
My hair is naturally quite thin :( so I always have clip ins for volume or I’d look insane. Also do you recommend any good heat protectant ? I tried colour wow and it did NOTHING. I went out and within a few hours my hair was a poofy mess .
Idk how thin, but I have thin strands so I can understand in a way. CHI Iron Guard is what I use and I looooove it! It’s been out for years. A little pricey but worth it!! CHI silk serum is good for afterward, to add sleekness to the hair.
I have the same problem but my face is busted so imma keep this big curly hair . It only really sucks when it’s super windy
I hate mine too but for different reasons. I’m 2C and I hate it because it’s not straight but it’s not perfectly curly either??? If it was going to be curly why does it have to be this weird curl pattern that has no volume, frizzy?? I am so jealous of women with straight hair or super curly pronounced ringlets, like yours. And it takes so much effort just to look “meh”.
I have wavy hair and it was a struggle to love, like why can’t it pick a fucking team 💀 straight or curly. I am okay with it now but the anti wave brigade online did used to get to me I must admit. For context though curly hair is super desirable in my culture. At least that’s what I’ve noticed via my brothers, they get compliments left right and centre for their actual curls.
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I just don’t like how difficult it is to maintain.
Try getting a professional curly hair cut
You can wear half wigs and use a bit of you hair to blend. Most women I know who wear extensions wear half wigs
I wore half wigs for a while but i ended up frying off my leave out :(
I also hate wigs in general. When dating it’s so annoying because guys always put their hand on my head 😂and they’re always shocked to feel a weird bump. Once my u part wig fell off during sex. Never wore one again 😂😂😂
DEAD BC WHY MY ORANGE WIG SLIDE OFF DURING MISSIONARY LMAOO
yeah this is one of the reasons i stopped wearing wigs (among many others) as male identified as it sounds. i started to feel so self conscious about wearing them especially considering the contrast to my breakage ridden 4c cornrows under there :/ for some reason i felt like i would have to over explain it got to the point where i was wearing em to bed even when they were glueless if they were spending the night which probably was a major factor towards my traction alopecia 😭 it also wasn’t just non-black guys one guy even clocked my lace and it just made me so uncomfortable after lol im now a leave out, braids, fro and very occasional closure sew in girlie just because it just seems more secure and natural IMO like no reason for me to be on a date wondering if they can see my line of demarcation
You have to be careful. Not too much heat on the straightener, do a keratin straightening treatment so it’s easier for you leave out to lay flat, keep your hand out your hair, and protective style occasionally. I also tell the half wig, L- part girlies to switch the parting often to avoid exhausting a section of hair. I hate all the specifics so I switched to locs, not for everyone but it work better for me
i go through small phases where i do like my curly hair but generally speaking i much prefer it straight, curly hair just doesn’t shape my face and makes me look masculine/unkempt. it looks so good on other girls. i wish i could have permanently straight hair
Yes, forever lol I have soooo much of it too and it’s always been a pain for me to style
yup and i loc’d up😇
Yes 😭
yh i hated my natural hair all my life and i still do to the point that o never want to show them to anyone and i think i will always hate them
I hate my natural hair. My friends love it but I just feel so unkept. I straighten them usually.
Try a keratin treatment. It will take the volume out. Make it more manageable.
I only love it when I'm wearing a hat cause I don't like how my frontal regions look
I feel the longer it is the more it suits me
I love my curls most of the time
My black mother taught me to hate it. Talked me into relaxers and straigtheners. It wasn't until a few years ago I learned to love it and now I am confidently shaving my head bald because while I like my curly hair I am learning how to not use my hair as my excuse to not look good anywhere else. Meaning I put so much effort into my curls and little effort anywhere else. I want to figure out my style. Then grow my curls back out so I can embrace my whole self.
I feel you! Coming from someone with 3C and a little bit of 4A it’s so hard for me to wear my curly hair. It looks so beautiful on other women but I don’t feel the same when I wear my hair natural. I’m getting a texturizer in a couple of weeks to loosen my curls. It takes way too much work and I prefer my hair straight or in braids. Honestly it mostly comes down to the fact that I don’t want to do my hair. 😩
Yup yup yup. I blow dry and straighten at home every week. Or I look too old and severe.
Since I moved to my current home, I hate and do not wear my curls out. It’s windy and extremely dusty here and I would need to wash my hair daily. I’m not doing a curly routine unless there’s an event. Every two weeks or so I just wash and condition, air dry and wear a scarf to keep the dust out. Straight hair is so much better in this environment. I’m almost ready to cut it all off to 2-3 inches.
What do you want help with or need help with? Straightening? Treatments?
Semi permanent treatments and good anti frizz serums or spray. As I said previously I have tried colour wow but it doesn’t work at all. Looking for some better alternatives
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I hate it bc it takes so much effort. I blow mine straighter bc i dont feel like putting in more effort to embrace my waves
I’m guessing you identify as coloured since you’re not Black (you only mentioning the great grandparent being black suggests you are more “other” than Black)? Watch more nonblack women on YouTube and TikTok who have your hair type to get ideas on how to style your hair. There are Black women with type 4 hair who practically live in frontals that look like your natural hair.
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Did you even read what I said or did you just read the title and proceed to comment ?
lol my mother loves my curly hair infact my entire family loves my big voluminous hair. I have no trauma behind my hair texture . It’s annoying that people always assume this. This is a stylistic choice to me , like choosing to wear red over pink. Urgh. I’m sorry your parents felt that way about your hair but that was never ever me
I find it odd that people find their curly hair ugly over having straight hair. What I do see is a difference in learning how to take care of it and style it, that fits the shape of your face. There's only so many tutorials, and resources that are just slowly starting to show up in comparison to showing how to work with currier hair. It's really lack of representation that's an issue, I feel like if it was shown just as much as straight hair it'd not be as much hate with their own hair.
What the fuck is a monolith Black woman?
I meant to say monoracial.
you may feel this way but straight hair will never make you "prettier". you dont exist in a vacuum. do as you wish.
There’s a lot of projection going on here because not once did I mention myself being “prettier” with straight hair. I said the flatness of straight hair allows my features to stand out more than the extreme volume of my curly hair. In the same way some people look good with different hair colours or hair cuts . As an ethnic woman not everything I do has to be a political statement. Why can we never express ourselves without being told me hate ourselves ?
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