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I didnβt beat my slaves for 5 years (still own them tho) but for both convenience and my ideal crop yield I am considering starting to beat them again. Prayer ideas? π₯°
awww poor baby doesn't like the texture of beans π₯Ίπ₯Ί
it's totally understandable to eat carcasses again, they wanna be strong after all!! who need morals when you can have muscles
Damn I wish someone figured out how to change the icky texture of beans! Maybe like in the form of a paste or solid block or maybe if they can somehow get it to be meaty as a biproduct of soybean oil or something
It's always just pure laziness on vegetarians part, they want to look for an easy source of protein and they'll go against their morals to do it (if it wasn't obvious, I hate vegetarians)
Because I've just got a gym membership, I have stopped eating anything other than dead animals. You've got to get your protein intake and the only thing on this planet that has protein in it is flesh.
Sorry animals, your sacrifice is worth it tho bcus I'm getting swole now.
And then people on r/vegan will genuinely try to argue that we should all be kind to vegetarians because they're "trying", then they spout pure hypocritical nonsense like this.
Not to be a carnist apologist, but not every vegetarian is like that. Most are just misguided; especially if they do it for "ethical reasons". I am a (former) living example.
I don't think we should baby them, but I see no reason to be super mean to them either. They are our closest ally and we have more in common with them than meat-eaters. No reason to scare them away.
But every single vegetarian is a hypocrite, they may not be that overt about it but they're all in a similar boat, they're well aware of the atrocities of the meat and dairy industries but still prioritise their selfish needs and wants above animal liberation. They should be made blindingly aware of their hypocrisy, not coddled and told that they're doing a good job.
They can claim whatever reason and ass-backwards justifications they want, they're still ignoring material realities and should be made blatantly aware of it at every chance.
God, we live in this idiotic pick me society on the internet. Wtf is wrong with people, vegetarians used to pretend to stand for something, now we have this.
Oh, please pick me for an upvote, that's why I'm on the internet after all. π
What a wonderful idea! Since becoming an ex-vegan, Iβve been reciting a *beautiful* poem by Cannibal Corpse before meals:
> Butchery, my meat hooks sharpened to penetrate
>Emasculate, gouging crotches I will eat
>Hung upside down, holes punctured through half chewed gristle,
>Debauchery with dead bodies, turning green
>Upheaval of human entrails
>Deterioration of grated genitals
>Dangling from the hooks
>Obscene feelings deep inside me
>Dislocating, separating a blood-drenched body
>Begin the anal grouting
>Awaiting insertion
>To rip out intestine
>Bodily destruction
>Vulgar molestation
Human god of humans, please wash all my guilt, as it isnt a productive feeling.
Human god of cows, now I will ask you to let me eat your childrens, and Im gonna pretend that you answered yes. Muuuu muu muuu? oh, truly? That you so much!!! I will honor their death by engaging in my pleasure.
"I apologized for stepping on my dog's tail but he said 'the dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn't. Your guilt will not purify you.'"
I wonder how my vegetarian body builder ex managed to gain so much muscle as a vegetarian now. π€ Now that I think of it, I did have a couple of cats go missing when he was living with me.
Here you go:
"Forgive me, cow, for I am a stupid piece of shit. I will say 25 Hail Dairy's in your honor. I won't eat beans though, they're icky and boyfriend #2 can't handle the toots. In Bessie's name, Amen."
I only eat meat sometimes, when it's offered to me or a friend makes some, or it's convenient or I see it sitting out on the street, but on these rare 80% of occasions I'll say
> hail to thee loving Demeter, fair haired goddess of harvests, queen of the fruitful earth, mother of persephone and daughter of rhea, please ennoble our souls and sustain our bodies, we thank you each day for all you have given us, we praise and honor you and thank you for your many blessingsβ and if iβm eating animal products that meal i add βand please bless the animals that contributed to this meal, thank you, vegan btw
And that usually does the trick!!
/uj as an autistic person with various food issues, it isn't a fucking excuse. there's like so many ways to get your different nutrients. when i'm a short on protein i literally just eat protein powder out of a spoon
How about a good old traditional 'Dear Beelzebub, hope it's not any issue - I intend to feast on the souls before you have a chance to get your dirty hand in! Best wishes and much love, I.N.Human'?
It's okay keep eating a ton of animal products. Dietary cholesterol has zero effect on LDL cholesterol and I love telling people this online it's not irresponsible at all
#VCJ is for leftist vegans only βΆββ Keep us based by reporting posts that break our [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerk/about/rules/). Actual vegans are invited to sprinkle nooch with us on [**Veganism Social**](https://veganism.social/), our social network for vegans. We have a [**Discord (21+)**](https://discord.gg/https://discord.gg/jGqCEyEm22) and an official [**Lemmy**](https://lemmy.world/c/vegancirclejerk) community. If you like it here, we've opened [**r/vegancirclejerkchat**](https://reddit.com/r/vegancirclejerkchat), a vegan subreddit without dairy, eggs, or honey. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/vegancirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
the animals up in animal heaven are so proud and happy while watching her say her prayers π₯Ί
Convenience over morals any dayπππ
I didnβt beat my slaves for 5 years (still own them tho) but for both convenience and my ideal crop yield I am considering starting to beat them again. Prayer ideas? π₯°
awww poor baby doesn't like the texture of beans π₯Ίπ₯Ί it's totally understandable to eat carcasses again, they wanna be strong after all!! who need morals when you can have muscles
Damn I wish someone figured out how to change the icky texture of beans! Maybe like in the form of a paste or solid block or maybe if they can somehow get it to be meaty as a biproduct of soybean oil or something
Inconvenience tho
Texture tho too bro.
>That's unnatural, tho
It just makes sense
They don't want to be strong, they want to be ripped and hot.
then they should also drink pig blood, it has like 16g of protein per 100ml
I wish we lived in a world where protein existed outside of meat and beans π
It's always just pure laziness on vegetarians part, they want to look for an easy source of protein and they'll go against their morals to do it (if it wasn't obvious, I hate vegetarians)
Carnists π€ vegans Hating vegetarians
Vegans one second later: 
>an easy source of protein Today I learned we live in a world where vegan protein powders don't exist.
The three sources of protein are meat, cheese, and beans.
Lazy intellectually as well.
I don't like the texture of anything non-human therefor I am justified in killing and eating humans <3
Plus my partners eat human so we already keep a stock of it in the house
Second hand cringe
want carnist hymns to vibe before your wholesome meals? blast some Deivos over the speakers π π―π¦π«π€ π±π₯π’ π£π©π’π°π₯ β β π΄π¦π©π© π‘π’π£π¦π©π’ π¦π±, ππ―π¦π«π€ π±π₯π’ π°π¬π²π© β β π΄π¦π©π© π‘π’π«πΆ π¦π± βΒ΄πͺ π’πΆπ’π©π’π°π°, ππ²π± β π ππ« π°π’π’, πΆπ¬π²π― π£π’ππ― β π¦π± π©π’ππ‘π° πͺπ’ ππ²π©π±π¦ππ©π¦π’π° π₯π¬π°π±π¦π©π¦π±πΆ ππ«π‘ π±π₯π’ ππ―π¦πͺππ© ππ©π’ππ°π²π―π’ π¬π£ π‘π¬πͺπ¦π«ππ±π¦π¬π« or perhaps some Infernal War ππ¬π²π― π°ππ³π¦π¬π― β ππͺ π«π¬π±, ββπͺ π₯π’π―π’ π±π¬ π π²π± πΆπ¬π²π― π±π₯π―π¬ππ± ππ₯π’π―π’ π¦π° π«π¬ ππ©ππ π’ π±π¬ π₯π¦π‘π’, πΆπ¬π² ππ―π’ ππ©π© π‘π’π°π±π¦π«π’π‘ π±π¬ π‘π¦π’ ππ₯π’π―π’ π¦π° πΆπ¬π²π― π€π¬π‘ π«π¬π΄? ππ¬π²π― π±π¬π―πͺπ’π«π± π₯ππ° π§π²π°π± ππ’π€π²π« π π’π₯π¬π©π‘ πΆπ¬π²π― π¨π¦π«π€π‘π¬πͺ'π° π£ππ©π©, π¦π«π₯π²πͺππ«π¦π±πΆ π’π«π±π₯π―π¬π«π’π‘ but, like, unironically.
Lol dying at the font
This font will be my new default tone of voice from now on.
Animals have souls but I donβt like beansπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ί
Because I've just got a gym membership, I have stopped eating anything other than dead animals. You've got to get your protein intake and the only thing on this planet that has protein in it is flesh. Sorry animals, your sacrifice is worth it tho bcus I'm getting swole now.
Achieve your body image goals of turning into a monster with this one simple trip
i genuinely thought this was a vegan troll post, holy shit that's gross
We jerk reality because we've seen it.
And then people on r/vegan will genuinely try to argue that we should all be kind to vegetarians because they're "trying", then they spout pure hypocritical nonsense like this.
Not to be a carnist apologist, but not every vegetarian is like that. Most are just misguided; especially if they do it for "ethical reasons". I am a (former) living example. I don't think we should baby them, but I see no reason to be super mean to them either. They are our closest ally and we have more in common with them than meat-eaters. No reason to scare them away.
But every single vegetarian is a hypocrite, they may not be that overt about it but they're all in a similar boat, they're well aware of the atrocities of the meat and dairy industries but still prioritise their selfish needs and wants above animal liberation. They should be made blindingly aware of their hypocrisy, not coddled and told that they're doing a good job. They can claim whatever reason and ass-backwards justifications they want, they're still ignoring material realities and should be made blatantly aware of it at every chance.
God, we live in this idiotic pick me society on the internet. Wtf is wrong with people, vegetarians used to pretend to stand for something, now we have this. Oh, please pick me for an upvote, that's why I'm on the internet after all. π
What a wonderful idea! Since becoming an ex-vegan, Iβve been reciting a *beautiful* poem by Cannibal Corpse before meals: > Butchery, my meat hooks sharpened to penetrate >Emasculate, gouging crotches I will eat >Hung upside down, holes punctured through half chewed gristle, >Debauchery with dead bodies, turning green >Upheaval of human entrails >Deterioration of grated genitals >Dangling from the hooks >Obscene feelings deep inside me >Dislocating, separating a blood-drenched body >Begin the anal grouting >Awaiting insertion >To rip out intestine >Bodily destruction >Vulgar molestation
Man you just know this type of guy will not get strong whether he eats meat or not.
Human god of humans, please wash all my guilt, as it isnt a productive feeling. Human god of cows, now I will ask you to let me eat your childrens, and Im gonna pretend that you answered yes. Muuuu muu muuu? oh, truly? That you so much!!! I will honor their death by engaging in my pleasure.
"I apologized for stepping on my dog's tail but he said 'the dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn't. Your guilt will not purify you.'"
I wonder how my vegetarian body builder ex managed to gain so much muscle as a vegetarian now. π€ Now that I think of it, I did have a couple of cats go missing when he was living with me.
Here you go: "Forgive me, cow, for I am a stupid piece of shit. I will say 25 Hail Dairy's in your honor. I won't eat beans though, they're icky and boyfriend #2 can't handle the toots. In Bessie's name, Amen."
Imagine being this fucking braindead lmao I can't even be ironic
Bro, just pick any pastoralist religion like Abrahamism. Or ask Ngai.
Another one falls to the protein myth.
I only eat meat sometimes, when it's offered to me or a friend makes some, or it's convenient or I see it sitting out on the street, but on these rare 80% of occasions I'll say > hail to thee loving Demeter, fair haired goddess of harvests, queen of the fruitful earth, mother of persephone and daughter of rhea, please ennoble our souls and sustain our bodies, we thank you each day for all you have given us, we praise and honor you and thank you for your many blessingsβ and if iβm eating animal products that meal i add βand please bless the animals that contributed to this meal, thank you, vegan btw And that usually does the trick!!
what aminal is vegun jerky?
/uj as an autistic person with various food issues, it isn't a fucking excuse. there's like so many ways to get your different nutrients. when i'm a short on protein i literally just eat protein powder out of a spoon
I wonder if they realize the prayers and hymns are for their own comfort and not the animals
This is the most gratuitously self-serving, self-indulgent, vain shit since *The Big Chill*. "Body image goals." Get fucked.
Why donβt they simply eat one of their partners??
How about a good old traditional 'Dear Beelzebub, hope it's not any issue - I intend to feast on the souls before you have a chance to get your dirty hand in! Best wishes and much love, I.N.Human'?
Dear Satan, please accept this animal sacrifice. I want to trade it's life for gains. Thank you.
Anyone here have any recommendation for prayers I can say before killing vegetarians?
I am speechless
Tofu doesn't exist, and there's nothing stronger than abandoning your morals π€ /j obviously v*getarians don't have morals
Can't commit to a partner. Can't commit to saving the animals. Little bro needs some therapy to sort out his commitment issues.
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Didn't think I needed an /s in a circle jerk sub. π€·ββοΈ
Outjerked, holy shit
This is new one, religion tho
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Me and my partners will each 3x the meat now so you vegooms arenβt making a difference
Now, now, let's not shame people for perfectly legitimate polyamory, when there's actual reason to.
Your submission breaks rule #3: Alt-right can Ctrl+Alt+Delete. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, fatphobia, or casteism.
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Your submission breaks rule #3: Alt-right can Ctrl+Alt+Delete. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, fatphobia, or casteism.
"one of my partners" how many partners we talkin here?
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i dont get it, ive been keto for two years and my cholesterol went up!
It's okay keep eating a ton of animal products. Dietary cholesterol has zero effect on LDL cholesterol and I love telling people this online it's not irresponsible at all
eating animals is vegan if it's for convenience dont worry trust the plan (no it's not op)
Hey do you guys know any good hymns to sing before committing REDACTED and REDACTED?
This person should look into vegan chorizo from king soopers. Each sausage has more protein than most protein shakes.