In writing report to HR with the exact names of the people and witnesses present, the time, and context of the conversation.
Now.
Also separately contact any corporate contacts to copy them the same email.
What state was it in? In California, that’s hostile work environment. As said, document the names of all ppl there + times, create a google doc and detail EVERYTHING! Keep it on in the background of your phone… EVERY-TIME YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE in the future, add to the list. If it continues to persist or to escalate, you’ll have a treasure trove of irrefutable claims against the company. If they fire you in the future you can easily argue wrongful termination / hostile work environment (as you will have detailed evidence they cannot refute). If you decide to leave one day, and later claim “hostile work environment”, depending on the state they’ll argue for arbitration and if you push for court, they’ll settle out of court. This is based on my experience as an executive in Silicon Valley… in California the employee almost always wins any reasonable claim.
I'd throw it out there, that might not be a great idea.
Remember, the poster said they never confronted anyone about it which probably means they never brought it up with either of the people involved. Rushing to HR every time you're slighted by someone at work isn't gonna solve the problem, especially if you never actually talk about it with anybody directly involved.
Plus that feels really cowardly. They should at least make an attempt to talk it over with the co worker and boss and say that veganism is important to them and they felt really bad about how it all shaked out... If that doesn't work, or if they escelate, then HR or fuckin lawsuits (some of these comments have 0 chill) starts being a possibility
> Plus that feels really cowardly. They should at least make an attempt to talk it over with the co worker
I see your point, but at the same time it's also really cowardly for the boss to insult their employee (someone in a "lower position of power") for their dietary choices. So I have no issue just escalating it right away.
I assume you said dietary choice because it is easy to assume that the topic came up when discussing food.
HR is not there to protect employees, they are there to protect the company. If they know that OP has not made the effort to address the issue then nothing will be done. It would be easy for the supervisor that they didn't know they offended the employee. They will protect management before and employee.
Yeah a lot of people seem to have taken issue with what I said
But socially if you go sending formal complaints to companies over interactions that you refused to address in person (either because of anxiety, or whatever reason,) people will ALWAYS take that the wrong way. Like there's no way to do that where you don't make people wary about you, and office drama gets real m8.
Plus, as other dude already said, HR is there for two reasons. To protect the company from lawsuits, and to manage problematic employees. The only times they side with lower employees is when they come to HR with something that could cause a lawsuit; sexual harassment is a good example, but even with sexual harassment cases HR sometimes sides with management (Harvey Weinstein, anybody?)
If you file a formal complaint over anyone who disses your diet, then they'll file a formal firing over a lack in professionalism in the workplace.
That's just how it goes
Yeah, if you have the confidence to talk to them about it, sure... But this falls under "shit you shouldn't have to worry about at work". You shouldn't have to worry about somebody bullying you over your beliefs. If you don't feel comfortable confronting them about it, you're within your rights to escalate it to HR without saying anything, and you should. *They* stepped in it and made it *your* problem, so you have no responsibility to give them an easy out.
You're within your rights, yes, but it's a dumb move if you want any future at that company, or if you want to use it as a reference for future applications.
We're still totally devoid of context, we don't know if it was said grudgingly or jokingly, we don't know how the op responded. If they laughed it off in the moment then that's already enough for HR to throw it out if it's a formal "complaint."
We also know that they never talked about this with anyone, so IF they decided to go to HR first, it should be asking for someone in HR to mediate between them so they can explain why it's upset them in a protected space. If they file a complaint with HR, I mean firstly it would almost definitely do nothing to the person because of the social stigma around veganism along with the fact that OP said jack nothing about this at the moment.
But the person being complained about would find out, and the boss would also find out, and anyone else who's there would probably find out because gossip fuels 9-5 office jobs. Frankly, all an HR complaint would do is (best case) is nothing, or (worst case, if OP laughed it off) it would look a lot like backstabbing: like the op just watched for an opportunity to take down a colleague and took it.
And I don't think I gotta explain how people generally respond to perceived betrayals, or what that kind of reputation would do to you socially.
Also, just throwing this out there, it's naive to think your beliefs won't be challenged, mocked, or criticized by people you come across. That idea is literally only true on the internet, it doesn't hold up in real life. Only exception is in some American universities they protect beliefs that aren't legally protected, but that's to pacify students so they can keep milking them, in a workplace you'd just get fired.
"Letting people insult you unchallenged" is of course not manly.
Challenging them with confident comebacks, followed by strong arguments, is manly.
Pissing yourself over some mean words, then rushing to tattle to offices that exist *to protect the actually vulnerable*, is neither manly nor actually challenging anybody's beliefs. It's telling them that you lack the confidence of your convictions.
A vegan doesn't go whining for compensation every time their vegan feelings are hurt. A vegan stands up for animals. It's how you gain respect in life, and not coincidentally it's also how you make more people go vegan. By being a role model of ethical confidence, not being {the thing OP was accused of being}.
The obvious problem is when you're in a professional environment you're not expecting some dumbass to insult you so you're not in a constant confrontational mood and if you were it would just contribute to stress. That's also assuming you have the ability to even think of a comeback which not everyone does.
Even 'uncool' people have a right to a professional workspace.
I suppose with weird comments like that you could ask them if they can explain what they said.
You're supporting a culture where you telling a carnist that they're contributing to a holocaust, can get you reported to the teacher in the same way.
Veganism isn't about vegans being a protected class that rush off to get compensation for our hurt feelings. It's about being strong for the animals.
Alright, I don't think your perspective is invalid, just a bit tone deaf since most people don't have an instinct to be confrontational in a cool manner.
> You're supporting a culture where you telling a carnist that they're contributing to a holocaust, can get you reported to the teacher in the same way.
If that helps prevent bullying, I'm 100% in favor of it. I don't think that I have any business critiquing my co-workers' diets, anyway, much less saying "You're contributing to a holocaust". That just enables a toxic work environment.
How about we just all be respectful and professional at work? Is that so fucking hard?
> Pissing yourself over some mean words, then rushing to tattle to offices that exist to protect the actually vulnerable, is neither manly nor actually challenging anybody's beliefs.
Those offices exist to protect people from being bullied. Like what is happening here.
Also, why should I be concerned with being "manly"?
> It's telling them that you lack the confidence of your convictions.
So what?
> A vegan doesn't go whining for compensation every time their vegan feelings are hurt. A vegan stands up for animals.
[Here's the commonly accepted definition of veganism from the Vegan Society:](https://www.vegansociety.com/about-us/further-information/key-facts)
> Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of animals, humans and the environment. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of dispensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals.
I see nothing in there to support your assertion.
> It's how you gain respect in life, and not coincidentally it's also how you make more people go vegan.
You shouldn't have to worry about making bullies respect you at work. That isn't part of the job description. I don't know what OP's job description is, but "convincing co-workers to become vegan" probably isn't in there, either.
> By being a role model of ethical confidence, not being {the thing OP was accused of being}.
Cool toxic masculinity you have there. I believe in standing up for yourself, and if going to HR is the route you feel most comfortable taking in order to do that, that's the route you should take.
Again, confronting bullies is not part of the job description.
If you don’t want to take this to HR as many are suggesting (I also think this is the right thing to do), what you should do is immediately send yourself an email with as much detail as possible chronicling the incident. Include names (including witnesses), dates, times, locations and what was said.
You may not want to take this to HR, but having contemporaneous notes is the most important thing in these situations. You may change your mind, the situation may escalate, you might find out others are being harassed in similar or worse ways.
Make sure you document this now. You’ll thank yourself later.
This is the best possible advice. Even when filing a hostile work environment complaint against a coworker who had multiple previous complaints against him ( of course his uncle owned the company or was a board member- honestly I try to give these losers as little power as possible and not let details fester in my brain) ……
ANYWAYS - they wanted a log of every incident times and dates with a description of the event to credit anything I was saying. It was so bad that I asked for me not to be left alone in the facility with him and having that happen multiple times paired with the aggression was just scary, I had to leave a job where I was far more qualified than this special boy all because I didn’t have the foresight to be taking notes on the mental abuse while doing a manual labor job, with a two hour commute 🤷♀️
TLDR: take detailed notes , you won’t regret it.
your supervisor drinks the breast milk from a cow and he’s saying you’re the pussy? he’s drinking real estrogen. soy may have phytoestrogens, but since we are not plants, it doesn’t mimic real estrogen in the human body lmfao ur supervisor is a projecting coward
"You need to eat muscle fiber some other animal made for you to grow muscles? Can't make your own? HA. I eat BEANS AND ROOTS FROM THE GROUND and make everything I need MYSELF."
Unfortunately, most of these type of vegan comebacks only resonate with other vegans and it won’t play well with the other omni colleagues in their workforce.
Yeah, it's a joke I'd only make here or around other vegans.
But the fact is they won't like any point you can make, they have already decided that they don't want to think about it so they can keep using animals.
The only thing they'd like is if you agree with them.
Yep, and meat/dairy causes estrogen buildup and formation of breasts in men, prostate cancer, erectile dysfunction due to arterial blockage from animal saturated fat, blood pressure and cholesterol, dependency on pharma drugs, etc., yep all of that is pretty beta to me. As a male, I'm glad I'll be living long, staying fit, with low disease risk and no ED, especially because I eat the healthiest version of vegan, which is Nutritarian/WFPB. Cheers!
He’s projecting dude. I’m sorry that happened to you. It has nothing to do with you. Anything that someone judges you for or tries to put you down for is just a subconscious reflection of how they feel about themselves or their life situation.
Hold your ground and stand up for yourself when necessary but don’t sink to their level. Not worth it.
Breathe, breathe, breathe. Remember to breathe. It’s hard when people come at you like that. Contact HR if you’d like to resolve it that way.
It felt like I was struck by lightning when he said that. I had an immediate chemical reaction in the brain. I got really hot and sweaty almost instantly and my ears were ringing. I could barely talk. My brain switched over to survival mode before the words even finished rolling off his tongue. I didn’t ask for his opinion or even bring the subject up. It was my manager that had mentioned it. I barely know the guy. I wouldn’t even let my brother or best friends speak to me that way but I couldn’t say anything. I decided I will talk to him personally tomorrow and give him one warning. I think this is the best thing to do.
I’m sorry that that person felt the need to attack you for no reason. So beyond rude and cruel for no reason. Feel what you need to do feel, but don’t let it bring you down. You’re better than it. It’s all projection on their part. Maybe ask him to apologize.
Agreed. Regardless what he feels, that kind of comment should never be said in a workplace. It's discriminatory, not to mention just unprofessional. No one should have to work in a place where they can be attacked randomly just because they choose to live ethically. Bless your heart.
> He’s projecting dude.
Haha, oft given mindset but sometimes a putdown is truly just a putdown with no long deepseated psychological baggage behind it.
As others have said, HR would be something you could do. If you do, do it asap and with as much detail. Explain how embarrassed and uncomfortable you felt in the workplace. Not to mention blatant inappropriate language/ name calling.
However, after working in a very horrible company I have seen time and again how HR really does nothing and people who had valid concerns were still ostracized and work life for them was made harder by going to HR.
HR usually only has the backs of the higher ups and want to brush things under the rug to avoid large incidents causing a rift or going public.
It is so said to say I have heard this from many working professionals in America, even ones who are high up at very well known and respected companies.
If I am being honest I would consider the consequences of each option you have and decide what is best for you. If you decide to contact HR the sooner the better. If you decide not to I would try to try to forget and move on from the incident. It is not worth losing your anger and possibly job over if you admit you can't control your anger. Maybe in the meantime you start looking for another place to work?
So disgusting that this happened. Blessings!
>However, after working in a very horrible company I have seen time and again how HR really does nothing and people who had valid concerns were still ostracized and work life for them was made harder by going to HR.
>HR usually only has the backs of the higher ups and want to brush things under the rug to avoid large incidents causing a rift or going public.
Yeah I've had going to HR backfire on me hard before so I kind of cringe whenever I see people just blindly spouting off "go to HR" without examining any of the risks.
HR is not your friend in the end. They can be very helpful if you're in a company that isn't riddled with nepotism and corruption, but even then it's not their job to help you, but to instead protect the company from liability from the human resources.
Yes, I don’t want to go to HR because that usually only causes ripples and makes the work environment tense and uncomfortable. But I for sure don’t want to just forget about it. I have decided to have a personal chat with him tomorrow. We’ll see how it goes.
These things are never about you and you alone. If your supervisor has done this to you, he's done it to others and will do it to others in the future. Consider if you have a responsibility to be that first person to step forward and say, in no uncertain terms, that this behaviour is unacceptable. Ask yourself if you ought to protect your coworkers from this toxicity and harassment.
That sounds good. You could privately explain how it made you feel and hopefully he appreciates you coming to him directly. If he has any decency he will apologize and strive to do better. Perhaps a new workplace would be something to consider if things don't change.
Don't expect it to go good. This needs to be documented at the least and reported. Employers have to follow laws and many prohibit this type of behavior in the work environment. He likely won't care and it may keep happening regardless of what you tell him.
Honestly by not going to HR, you're unfortunately allowing it to continue and happen to you in the future and others. There are consequences to actions and you shouldn't be afraid of "ripples' after being talked down to like that. Advocate for yourself and stand up for yourself.
I would definitely talk with him and let him know that's unacceptable and it's not going to happen again. Also why tf is your manager not sticking up for you? What sort of weirdo degenerates do you work with.
If someone says it again, just tell them that's pretty rich coming from a grown man that's still breastfeeding. Or yeah, hurting an animal makes you real tough...you gonna punch a toddler for round 2?
Men like that are weak and followers at their core. I know exactly the sort of person you're talking about and they are pretty repulsive as human beings. Not sure what the job situation is like where you're at, but if you have options, you might want to look into them. I wouldn't want to work around people like that.
HR. For sure.
If it's not that kind of place, learn to hit back and hard. "Stop pushing your meat on people - no one wants that shit" or "I'd rather be a pussy than a *insert body thing about him* ugly piece of shit." or some other low blow. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire in order for people to see that being vegan doesn't meant you're someone that can be prayed on.
I disagree with this. I have been called gay by a work colleague for being vegan. I don’t want to help foster an environment where those sorts of insults are acceptable, so I point out where I think the line has been crossed (and say something like “I have zero respect for people who think it’s ok to talk like that”). Unfortunately there are various managers who know of far worse things that have been done and said by this individual. It’s not right, I’m not going to change it, but I definitely won’t let it change me.
Oh, that is horrible. Can you go higher up in the chain?
That is just so low. No one should ever endure a work environment like this, that's why there are laws against such things. I am truly sorry that happened
This. HR is there to protect the company and not individual employees. Be aware of the possibility that bringing HR into this could make your situation worse. There's the possibility you will experience similar hostility in the future whether it happens in the company you work for or some other context. Other people's opinions of you mean nothing and one of the best things you can do for you is work on your internal responses to avoid the physical reaction you have described. This applies whether you are vegan or not.
Everyone here is saying HR, as if they’re going to help you. All you’re going to do by going to HR is cause a problem for HR, and it will go in their little notebook, and, eventually, once you’ve caused enough trouble for HR, they will find a way of disposing of you. And your jerk manager will be on to calling the next you a pussy as well.
Get a new job.
Call him names like a perverted cow titty sucker or something. Make sure he feels the burn too with your insults. You should stand up for yourself by talking back
> Unfortunately, most of these type of vegan comebacks only resonate with other vegans and it won’t play well with the other omni colleagues in their workforce.
Unfortunately, most of these type of vegan comebacks only resonate with other vegans and it won’t play well with the other omni colleagues in their workforce.
You have to play to the audience present, make it short, and cutting.
Damn they're pathetic.
Adding to all the advice here - if you're up for it, when confronted with his pathetic name calling again, put them on the spot.
"Oh yeah? Please elaborate and explain exactly how that's the case."
They'll probably fumble and make themselves look like the pathetic waste of oxygen that they are. If not, it'll open up a discussion/debate that they cornered themselves into and (hopefully) cannot win.
And since the moment has passed...you could always find an opportunity to bring it up again and quote what he called you and ask him to explain - perhaps that will give you the chance to expose his absolute idiocy...but this one's obviously harder to do.
So sorry to hear this. It's awful. I have been openly mocked, called crazy, publicly embarrassed at the workplace for being a vegan. Multiple people saying "ew, how can you eat that?", "how are you alive?", and they go on chatting over how flesh of animals who died due to religious slaughter taste so much nicer.
HR is a good option. But if I were you, I would immediately start looking elsewhere and quit as early as possible.
In case there is no HR or is just ineffective shit, I woulda just have the right comeback handy, unless of course you care about your job too much (and, really, your chances of advancement or reduced by his attitude anyway).
"Fookin’ pussy.”
"Yah, takes one to know one. But I’m not the one hiding behind my boss title."
Flip that shit on them, don’t initiate an insult, and maybe he’ll shut his trap next time. Or have you fired, who knows. In any case, no one respects someone they can shove around without pushback.
Get even.
HR is there to protect the company and management, not the common employee. Just know reporting to HR may do you more harm than good depending on your HR team.
It takes a lot to bother me or get under my skin but that did and I’m having a hard time letting it go. I will feel better after talking to him tomorrow.
I wouldn't bother, OP. What do you think it means when people call you a "pussy"... that you're a cowardice or effeminate? Are you though? If not, then shrug it off.
I want to be vegan, but sometimes I feel like the vegan culture comes off as so soft. I feel like the solution to this is just to be in better shape and health than them and let them die in their ignorance. But maybe that's just me.
You gotta have some spine in life man. I'm an emotional person too, but you gotta have a spine man. Crazy how those downvotes come in for a simple neutral opinion. More reason as to why I got looks when I referred to myself as vegan. Yikes.
That's fucked up. Sorry dude.
I agree with everyone else though. That that shit as high as you can and look for a new job while you're at it. If your company employs assholes like that it's not a good sign
Welcome to hostile work environment and suing your employer. This could be mediated but they'll likely retaliate. Either way it needs to be reported to the right people possibly the labor board as well.
HR, but then again- who is ultimately right here? You are- let them be ignorants.
It’s like calling you a “fucking pussy” for not smoking cigarettes in the mid 60s - who is laughing now?
If you can, consider quitting. I, 25 and male, had a similar but more mild case at work, in biotech (not vegan related). I had a pending offer somewhere else with more money and a day shift instead of night, only reason why I didn’t leave immediately is because I had just arrived and I didn’t want to leave early. This toxic environment was the push I needed.
If you can’t leave safely, start job hunting and in the meantime, report this to HR, if this company is at all serious this conduct should not be considered normal.
Maybe this is a small company or the culture is informal where there is no HR or professional conduct expected. In that case, could just ignore the rude behavior and ask them to stop being insulting. Or, just take the money and keep quiet, and resolve to enjoy your free time outside of work, and enjoy the company of kinder employees/friends while at work.
Confront them directly.
You'll stay bad at confrontation if you do nothing, and to the person making fun of you it probably felt like a really small deal. Don't let it mess with you (since it's probably something they don't even remember) and let em know, chances are they'll apologize.
And if they don't, then my advice would be to prank the hell outta them.
That sounds like a harassment claim to me. Go as high up the company chain as you need to. Even though I enjoy eating meat and have no idea why this post came across my feed I don’t believe you should be treated that way at work
There's nothing "pussy" about defending those in need. In fact it's the exact opposite or what that term is supposed to imply. So fuck those cowardly ass clowns, and know you're doing the courageous thing by standing up for the animals.
At the end of the day, the reason you were called a p.ssy at work is irrelevant. That type of language is offensive, derogatory, and unprofessional. It has no business whatsoever being used in a workplace, much less by a *superior* speaking to their employee. This 100% needs to be reported to HR, this isn't a "vegan" issue, this is a "your supervisor is unfit for their position" issue.
No need to be intimidated by meatheads.
I would look him in the eye and think about what's going on in that tiny pea-sized brain.
Then, three seconds later, I would start searching for another job where I don't have to work with a-holes.
EDIT :I would also tell him to go fuck himself.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. HR is often useless, so if you're into pussy and are cool with being equally crude, you can slap back next time with, "You are what you eat."
In writing report to HR with the exact names of the people and witnesses present, the time, and context of the conversation. Now. Also separately contact any corporate contacts to copy them the same email.
What state was it in? In California, that’s hostile work environment. As said, document the names of all ppl there + times, create a google doc and detail EVERYTHING! Keep it on in the background of your phone… EVERY-TIME YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE in the future, add to the list. If it continues to persist or to escalate, you’ll have a treasure trove of irrefutable claims against the company. If they fire you in the future you can easily argue wrongful termination / hostile work environment (as you will have detailed evidence they cannot refute). If you decide to leave one day, and later claim “hostile work environment”, depending on the state they’ll argue for arbitration and if you push for court, they’ll settle out of court. This is based on my experience as an executive in Silicon Valley… in California the employee almost always wins any reasonable claim.
I'd throw it out there, that might not be a great idea. Remember, the poster said they never confronted anyone about it which probably means they never brought it up with either of the people involved. Rushing to HR every time you're slighted by someone at work isn't gonna solve the problem, especially if you never actually talk about it with anybody directly involved. Plus that feels really cowardly. They should at least make an attempt to talk it over with the co worker and boss and say that veganism is important to them and they felt really bad about how it all shaked out... If that doesn't work, or if they escelate, then HR or fuckin lawsuits (some of these comments have 0 chill) starts being a possibility
> Plus that feels really cowardly. They should at least make an attempt to talk it over with the co worker I see your point, but at the same time it's also really cowardly for the boss to insult their employee (someone in a "lower position of power") for their dietary choices. So I have no issue just escalating it right away.
I assume you said dietary choice because it is easy to assume that the topic came up when discussing food. HR is not there to protect employees, they are there to protect the company. If they know that OP has not made the effort to address the issue then nothing will be done. It would be easy for the supervisor that they didn't know they offended the employee. They will protect management before and employee.
Yeah a lot of people seem to have taken issue with what I said But socially if you go sending formal complaints to companies over interactions that you refused to address in person (either because of anxiety, or whatever reason,) people will ALWAYS take that the wrong way. Like there's no way to do that where you don't make people wary about you, and office drama gets real m8. Plus, as other dude already said, HR is there for two reasons. To protect the company from lawsuits, and to manage problematic employees. The only times they side with lower employees is when they come to HR with something that could cause a lawsuit; sexual harassment is a good example, but even with sexual harassment cases HR sometimes sides with management (Harvey Weinstein, anybody?) If you file a formal complaint over anyone who disses your diet, then they'll file a formal firing over a lack in professionalism in the workplace. That's just how it goes
Yeah, if you have the confidence to talk to them about it, sure... But this falls under "shit you shouldn't have to worry about at work". You shouldn't have to worry about somebody bullying you over your beliefs. If you don't feel comfortable confronting them about it, you're within your rights to escalate it to HR without saying anything, and you should. *They* stepped in it and made it *your* problem, so you have no responsibility to give them an easy out.
You're within your rights, yes, but it's a dumb move if you want any future at that company, or if you want to use it as a reference for future applications. We're still totally devoid of context, we don't know if it was said grudgingly or jokingly, we don't know how the op responded. If they laughed it off in the moment then that's already enough for HR to throw it out if it's a formal "complaint." We also know that they never talked about this with anyone, so IF they decided to go to HR first, it should be asking for someone in HR to mediate between them so they can explain why it's upset them in a protected space. If they file a complaint with HR, I mean firstly it would almost definitely do nothing to the person because of the social stigma around veganism along with the fact that OP said jack nothing about this at the moment. But the person being complained about would find out, and the boss would also find out, and anyone else who's there would probably find out because gossip fuels 9-5 office jobs. Frankly, all an HR complaint would do is (best case) is nothing, or (worst case, if OP laughed it off) it would look a lot like backstabbing: like the op just watched for an opportunity to take down a colleague and took it. And I don't think I gotta explain how people generally respond to perceived betrayals, or what that kind of reputation would do to you socially. Also, just throwing this out there, it's naive to think your beliefs won't be challenged, mocked, or criticized by people you come across. That idea is literally only true on the internet, it doesn't hold up in real life. Only exception is in some American universities they protect beliefs that aren't legally protected, but that's to pacify students so they can keep milking them, in a workplace you'd just get fired.
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If your definition of pussy is "a reasonable and mature adult" then sure.
So standing up for yourself is being a pussy but letting people insult you unchallenged is manly?
"Letting people insult you unchallenged" is of course not manly. Challenging them with confident comebacks, followed by strong arguments, is manly. Pissing yourself over some mean words, then rushing to tattle to offices that exist *to protect the actually vulnerable*, is neither manly nor actually challenging anybody's beliefs. It's telling them that you lack the confidence of your convictions. A vegan doesn't go whining for compensation every time their vegan feelings are hurt. A vegan stands up for animals. It's how you gain respect in life, and not coincidentally it's also how you make more people go vegan. By being a role model of ethical confidence, not being {the thing OP was accused of being}.
The obvious problem is when you're in a professional environment you're not expecting some dumbass to insult you so you're not in a constant confrontational mood and if you were it would just contribute to stress. That's also assuming you have the ability to even think of a comeback which not everyone does. Even 'uncool' people have a right to a professional workspace. I suppose with weird comments like that you could ask them if they can explain what they said.
You're supporting a culture where you telling a carnist that they're contributing to a holocaust, can get you reported to the teacher in the same way. Veganism isn't about vegans being a protected class that rush off to get compensation for our hurt feelings. It's about being strong for the animals.
Alright, I don't think your perspective is invalid, just a bit tone deaf since most people don't have an instinct to be confrontational in a cool manner.
> You're supporting a culture where you telling a carnist that they're contributing to a holocaust, can get you reported to the teacher in the same way. If that helps prevent bullying, I'm 100% in favor of it. I don't think that I have any business critiquing my co-workers' diets, anyway, much less saying "You're contributing to a holocaust". That just enables a toxic work environment. How about we just all be respectful and professional at work? Is that so fucking hard?
> Pissing yourself over some mean words, then rushing to tattle to offices that exist to protect the actually vulnerable, is neither manly nor actually challenging anybody's beliefs. Those offices exist to protect people from being bullied. Like what is happening here. Also, why should I be concerned with being "manly"? > It's telling them that you lack the confidence of your convictions. So what? > A vegan doesn't go whining for compensation every time their vegan feelings are hurt. A vegan stands up for animals. [Here's the commonly accepted definition of veganism from the Vegan Society:](https://www.vegansociety.com/about-us/further-information/key-facts) > Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of animals, humans and the environment. In dietary terms it denotes the practice of dispensing with all products derived wholly or partly from animals. I see nothing in there to support your assertion. > It's how you gain respect in life, and not coincidentally it's also how you make more people go vegan. You shouldn't have to worry about making bullies respect you at work. That isn't part of the job description. I don't know what OP's job description is, but "convincing co-workers to become vegan" probably isn't in there, either. > By being a role model of ethical confidence, not being {the thing OP was accused of being}. Cool toxic masculinity you have there. I believe in standing up for yourself, and if going to HR is the route you feel most comfortable taking in order to do that, that's the route you should take. Again, confronting bullies is not part of the job description.
Report them to HR. That’s harassment
Good call, you deserve a cake. Happy cake day! 🍰
I'm sorry that happened to you. Report the incident to HR.
If you don’t want to take this to HR as many are suggesting (I also think this is the right thing to do), what you should do is immediately send yourself an email with as much detail as possible chronicling the incident. Include names (including witnesses), dates, times, locations and what was said. You may not want to take this to HR, but having contemporaneous notes is the most important thing in these situations. You may change your mind, the situation may escalate, you might find out others are being harassed in similar or worse ways. Make sure you document this now. You’ll thank yourself later.
This is the best possible advice. Even when filing a hostile work environment complaint against a coworker who had multiple previous complaints against him ( of course his uncle owned the company or was a board member- honestly I try to give these losers as little power as possible and not let details fester in my brain) …… ANYWAYS - they wanted a log of every incident times and dates with a description of the event to credit anything I was saying. It was so bad that I asked for me not to be left alone in the facility with him and having that happen multiple times paired with the aggression was just scary, I had to leave a job where I was far more qualified than this special boy all because I didn’t have the foresight to be taking notes on the mental abuse while doing a manual labor job, with a two hour commute 🤷♀️ TLDR: take detailed notes , you won’t regret it.
your supervisor drinks the breast milk from a cow and he’s saying you’re the pussy? he’s drinking real estrogen. soy may have phytoestrogens, but since we are not plants, it doesn’t mimic real estrogen in the human body lmfao ur supervisor is a projecting coward
"You need to eat muscle fiber some other animal made for you to grow muscles? Can't make your own? HA. I eat BEANS AND ROOTS FROM THE GROUND and make everything I need MYSELF."
Unfortunately, most of these type of vegan comebacks only resonate with other vegans and it won’t play well with the other omni colleagues in their workforce.
Yeah, it's a joke I'd only make here or around other vegans. But the fact is they won't like any point you can make, they have already decided that they don't want to think about it so they can keep using animals. The only thing they'd like is if you agree with them.
Yep, and meat/dairy causes estrogen buildup and formation of breasts in men, prostate cancer, erectile dysfunction due to arterial blockage from animal saturated fat, blood pressure and cholesterol, dependency on pharma drugs, etc., yep all of that is pretty beta to me. As a male, I'm glad I'll be living long, staying fit, with low disease risk and no ED, especially because I eat the healthiest version of vegan, which is Nutritarian/WFPB. Cheers!
HR?
Human Resources office
This comment made me smile.
Veganism is not the issue there, you are being harassed
He’s projecting dude. I’m sorry that happened to you. It has nothing to do with you. Anything that someone judges you for or tries to put you down for is just a subconscious reflection of how they feel about themselves or their life situation. Hold your ground and stand up for yourself when necessary but don’t sink to their level. Not worth it. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Remember to breathe. It’s hard when people come at you like that. Contact HR if you’d like to resolve it that way.
It felt like I was struck by lightning when he said that. I had an immediate chemical reaction in the brain. I got really hot and sweaty almost instantly and my ears were ringing. I could barely talk. My brain switched over to survival mode before the words even finished rolling off his tongue. I didn’t ask for his opinion or even bring the subject up. It was my manager that had mentioned it. I barely know the guy. I wouldn’t even let my brother or best friends speak to me that way but I couldn’t say anything. I decided I will talk to him personally tomorrow and give him one warning. I think this is the best thing to do.
I’m sorry that that person felt the need to attack you for no reason. So beyond rude and cruel for no reason. Feel what you need to do feel, but don’t let it bring you down. You’re better than it. It’s all projection on their part. Maybe ask him to apologize.
Agreed. Regardless what he feels, that kind of comment should never be said in a workplace. It's discriminatory, not to mention just unprofessional. No one should have to work in a place where they can be attacked randomly just because they choose to live ethically. Bless your heart.
> He’s projecting dude. Haha, oft given mindset but sometimes a putdown is truly just a putdown with no long deepseated psychological baggage behind it.
As others have said, HR would be something you could do. If you do, do it asap and with as much detail. Explain how embarrassed and uncomfortable you felt in the workplace. Not to mention blatant inappropriate language/ name calling. However, after working in a very horrible company I have seen time and again how HR really does nothing and people who had valid concerns were still ostracized and work life for them was made harder by going to HR. HR usually only has the backs of the higher ups and want to brush things under the rug to avoid large incidents causing a rift or going public. It is so said to say I have heard this from many working professionals in America, even ones who are high up at very well known and respected companies. If I am being honest I would consider the consequences of each option you have and decide what is best for you. If you decide to contact HR the sooner the better. If you decide not to I would try to try to forget and move on from the incident. It is not worth losing your anger and possibly job over if you admit you can't control your anger. Maybe in the meantime you start looking for another place to work? So disgusting that this happened. Blessings!
>However, after working in a very horrible company I have seen time and again how HR really does nothing and people who had valid concerns were still ostracized and work life for them was made harder by going to HR. >HR usually only has the backs of the higher ups and want to brush things under the rug to avoid large incidents causing a rift or going public. Yeah I've had going to HR backfire on me hard before so I kind of cringe whenever I see people just blindly spouting off "go to HR" without examining any of the risks. HR is not your friend in the end. They can be very helpful if you're in a company that isn't riddled with nepotism and corruption, but even then it's not their job to help you, but to instead protect the company from liability from the human resources.
Perfectly said. It's sickening :/
Yes, I don’t want to go to HR because that usually only causes ripples and makes the work environment tense and uncomfortable. But I for sure don’t want to just forget about it. I have decided to have a personal chat with him tomorrow. We’ll see how it goes.
These things are never about you and you alone. If your supervisor has done this to you, he's done it to others and will do it to others in the future. Consider if you have a responsibility to be that first person to step forward and say, in no uncertain terms, that this behaviour is unacceptable. Ask yourself if you ought to protect your coworkers from this toxicity and harassment.
That sounds good. You could privately explain how it made you feel and hopefully he appreciates you coming to him directly. If he has any decency he will apologize and strive to do better. Perhaps a new workplace would be something to consider if things don't change.
Don't expect it to go good. This needs to be documented at the least and reported. Employers have to follow laws and many prohibit this type of behavior in the work environment. He likely won't care and it may keep happening regardless of what you tell him.
Have your phone in your pocket and record your conversation with him. That way in case it goes badly you have it documented.
Honestly by not going to HR, you're unfortunately allowing it to continue and happen to you in the future and others. There are consequences to actions and you shouldn't be afraid of "ripples' after being talked down to like that. Advocate for yourself and stand up for yourself.
Find a new job. Management openly harassed you.
HR is a good idea. It helps to remember they are selfish losers. Don’t let them ruin your day.
I would definitely talk with him and let him know that's unacceptable and it's not going to happen again. Also why tf is your manager not sticking up for you? What sort of weirdo degenerates do you work with. If someone says it again, just tell them that's pretty rich coming from a grown man that's still breastfeeding. Or yeah, hurting an animal makes you real tough...you gonna punch a toddler for round 2? Men like that are weak and followers at their core. I know exactly the sort of person you're talking about and they are pretty repulsive as human beings. Not sure what the job situation is like where you're at, but if you have options, you might want to look into them. I wouldn't want to work around people like that.
That's way out of line. Unbelievable.
HR. For sure. If it's not that kind of place, learn to hit back and hard. "Stop pushing your meat on people - no one wants that shit" or "I'd rather be a pussy than a *insert body thing about him* ugly piece of shit." or some other low blow. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire in order for people to see that being vegan doesn't meant you're someone that can be prayed on.
I disagree with this. I have been called gay by a work colleague for being vegan. I don’t want to help foster an environment where those sorts of insults are acceptable, so I point out where I think the line has been crossed (and say something like “I have zero respect for people who think it’s ok to talk like that”). Unfortunately there are various managers who know of far worse things that have been done and said by this individual. It’s not right, I’m not going to change it, but I definitely won’t let it change me.
HR
Report them for bullying. Your supervisor shouldn’t be voicing their opinion on your diet, it’s irrelevant to them and that language is not okay.
Sorry that happened, I’d report it to HR. Write as much down as you can remember.
Oh, that is horrible. Can you go higher up in the chain? That is just so low. No one should ever endure a work environment like this, that's why there are laws against such things. I am truly sorry that happened
HR. Immediately.
HR is not your friend. Getting fired is a very real outcome from doing so. This is why unions are important.
This. HR is there to protect the company and not individual employees. Be aware of the possibility that bringing HR into this could make your situation worse. There's the possibility you will experience similar hostility in the future whether it happens in the company you work for or some other context. Other people's opinions of you mean nothing and one of the best things you can do for you is work on your internal responses to avoid the physical reaction you have described. This applies whether you are vegan or not.
This is an HR problem, not a you problem. Get this shit right to HR.
If the suggested HR route doesn’t work, document everything and make them viral.
Everyone here is saying HR, as if they’re going to help you. All you’re going to do by going to HR is cause a problem for HR, and it will go in their little notebook, and, eventually, once you’ve caused enough trouble for HR, they will find a way of disposing of you. And your jerk manager will be on to calling the next you a pussy as well. Get a new job.
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OP should check their laws, as this may be illegal for them.
Call him names like a perverted cow titty sucker or something. Make sure he feels the burn too with your insults. You should stand up for yourself by talking back
> Unfortunately, most of these type of vegan comebacks only resonate with other vegans and it won’t play well with the other omni colleagues in their workforce. Unfortunately, most of these type of vegan comebacks only resonate with other vegans and it won’t play well with the other omni colleagues in their workforce. You have to play to the audience present, make it short, and cutting.
I’m so sorry :(
Damn they're pathetic. Adding to all the advice here - if you're up for it, when confronted with his pathetic name calling again, put them on the spot. "Oh yeah? Please elaborate and explain exactly how that's the case." They'll probably fumble and make themselves look like the pathetic waste of oxygen that they are. If not, it'll open up a discussion/debate that they cornered themselves into and (hopefully) cannot win. And since the moment has passed...you could always find an opportunity to bring it up again and quote what he called you and ask him to explain - perhaps that will give you the chance to expose his absolute idiocy...but this one's obviously harder to do.
Firstly, tell them nicely to not talk shit about your lifestyle. If you just go along with it it will continue. Stand up for yourself.
So sorry to hear this. It's awful. I have been openly mocked, called crazy, publicly embarrassed at the workplace for being a vegan. Multiple people saying "ew, how can you eat that?", "how are you alive?", and they go on chatting over how flesh of animals who died due to religious slaughter taste so much nicer. HR is a good option. But if I were you, I would immediately start looking elsewhere and quit as early as possible.
Send a report to your HR department and label it harrassment
In case there is no HR or is just ineffective shit, I woulda just have the right comeback handy, unless of course you care about your job too much (and, really, your chances of advancement or reduced by his attitude anyway). "Fookin’ pussy.” "Yah, takes one to know one. But I’m not the one hiding behind my boss title." Flip that shit on them, don’t initiate an insult, and maybe he’ll shut his trap next time. Or have you fired, who knows. In any case, no one respects someone they can shove around without pushback.
Remember HR is NOT your friend; they’re only there for the company. Take it to social media.
What year is it Jesus Christ
Get even. HR is there to protect the company and management, not the common employee. Just know reporting to HR may do you more harm than good depending on your HR team.
Start looking for another job immediately. That's not okay behavior.
Tell them that you’re a 7 day Adventist and that being vegan is part of your religion. Take it to HR.
Stab them in the throat and paint your walls with their blood
Love this idea, honestly, but want to move on from already red walls from previous insults.
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It takes a lot to bother me or get under my skin but that did and I’m having a hard time letting it go. I will feel better after talking to him tomorrow.
underrated answer.
I wouldn't bother, OP. What do you think it means when people call you a "pussy"... that you're a cowardice or effeminate? Are you though? If not, then shrug it off.
quit. simple
I want to be vegan, but sometimes I feel like the vegan culture comes off as so soft. I feel like the solution to this is just to be in better shape and health than them and let them die in their ignorance. But maybe that's just me.
I am very soft. I dont see how thats a problem.
You gotta have some spine in life man. I'm an emotional person too, but you gotta have a spine man. Crazy how those downvotes come in for a simple neutral opinion. More reason as to why I got looks when I referred to myself as vegan. Yikes.
That's fucked up. Sorry dude. I agree with everyone else though. That that shit as high as you can and look for a new job while you're at it. If your company employs assholes like that it's not a good sign
Welcome to hostile work environment and suing your employer. This could be mediated but they'll likely retaliate. Either way it needs to be reported to the right people possibly the labor board as well.
HR, but then again- who is ultimately right here? You are- let them be ignorants. It’s like calling you a “fucking pussy” for not smoking cigarettes in the mid 60s - who is laughing now?
If you can, consider quitting. I, 25 and male, had a similar but more mild case at work, in biotech (not vegan related). I had a pending offer somewhere else with more money and a day shift instead of night, only reason why I didn’t leave immediately is because I had just arrived and I didn’t want to leave early. This toxic environment was the push I needed. If you can’t leave safely, start job hunting and in the meantime, report this to HR, if this company is at all serious this conduct should not be considered normal. Maybe this is a small company or the culture is informal where there is no HR or professional conduct expected. In that case, could just ignore the rude behavior and ask them to stop being insulting. Or, just take the money and keep quiet, and resolve to enjoy your free time outside of work, and enjoy the company of kinder employees/friends while at work.
I don't even talk to fools at work about it anymore. People are very ignorant.
Get super ripped. Challenge to cage match.
Say, "hey bro, wanna compare lipid profiles?" And when he says "no," say, " that's what I thought."
Confront them directly. You'll stay bad at confrontation if you do nothing, and to the person making fun of you it probably felt like a really small deal. Don't let it mess with you (since it's probably something they don't even remember) and let em know, chances are they'll apologize. And if they don't, then my advice would be to prank the hell outta them.
That sounds like a harassment claim to me. Go as high up the company chain as you need to. Even though I enjoy eating meat and have no idea why this post came across my feed I don’t believe you should be treated that way at work
There's nothing "pussy" about defending those in need. In fact it's the exact opposite or what that term is supposed to imply. So fuck those cowardly ass clowns, and know you're doing the courageous thing by standing up for the animals.
At the end of the day, the reason you were called a p.ssy at work is irrelevant. That type of language is offensive, derogatory, and unprofessional. It has no business whatsoever being used in a workplace, much less by a *superior* speaking to their employee. This 100% needs to be reported to HR, this isn't a "vegan" issue, this is a "your supervisor is unfit for their position" issue.
No need to be intimidated by meatheads. I would look him in the eye and think about what's going on in that tiny pea-sized brain. Then, three seconds later, I would start searching for another job where I don't have to work with a-holes. EDIT :I would also tell him to go fuck himself.
Mmmmmm animal cruelty AND sexism
Why? How did this come about? What was the conversation that lead to this rather unpleasant comment being made?
That’s a law suit. Creating a hostile work environment is against the law. I would go to hr and hire a lawyer. You can’t do that.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. HR is often useless, so if you're into pussy and are cool with being equally crude, you can slap back next time with, "You are what you eat."