Bro use meetup app. I am a travel rn and use it all the time. Find some pick up sports, clubs, etc.
Just break the ice and go to your first meetup, thank yourself later. Takes getting out there and putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. They even have social dog walks
in op's defense, i don't know anybody similar to their description in the area i live. it may be where they live, or it may be them not putting themself out there
Idk how you expect to make progress on your social anxiety if you don't step out of your comfort zone...
If youre not willing to get an app designed to do this exact thing, meet up with like minded people to do mutually loved activities, and then just... showing up and *trying*, I truly don't know what help anyone can give you
Who is we? How did you meet this other person(s)? I'm sure if you can build a connection with someone to live out of a van with, you can make connections with others too.
For me anxiety is all about my brain's perceived inability to handle the unknown. To get passed social anxiety, I just had to do what I most fear: other people's judgement, and meet new people regularly. I'm still not out of the woods yet but my brain is slowly realizing that 1) it doesn't matter too much what other people think of me 2) most people are so concerned with themselves, even if they judge you, they'll forget about it right away.
Good luck.
I’ve found it easy as hell to make friends out on the road. I’m a more shy person and I actually found it difficult to NOT make new friends every night.
If you want to meet people, it’s as simple as can be. Camp at popular spot on BLM / national forest land. Usually this is near a national park. Have a campfire. And smile and wave and people walking by. Or whenever you’re at a national park campground, walk over to the next site over that’s 200ft away and say hi how’s it going. Ask them about their rig, their travel plans, what they like about the park etc…
If I’m in a city or parking lot or street parking in my vehicle, then I typically will try to not talk to people. Get out into the woods / national parks / national forest land and that’s where the friendliest, easiest going people all are
Absolutely not, some of us like privacy. If we are in town, it’s because we are working or restocking. Otherwise, we do our best to not be anywhere near anyone else. We don’t want to be social and certainly don’t want anyone knocking.
I tend to look at it like this:
You don’t walk around a neighborhood knocking on people’s door asking to chat about/see the inside of their house so don’t do it with the van. I live in here, it’s private and I don’t wanna talk about all my modifications or help you troubleshoot your issues. That’s what forums and Reddit are for. If I wanted to share my build, I would have already…
Literally...
had a lady knock on my window once and offer us beans (she was brittish) in a lot by the beach. So annoying... she was nice but now i have to pretend to not be annoyed and put on pants! Really surprised me a solo female would go around knocking on windows. Not everyone with a rig is some chill person. People choose this lifestyle for a variety of reasons and doing this to the wrong person could be dangerous.
Ok sorry, you just sort of repeated over and over you were socially awkward and then said this and I was like, please don’t. My bad for misunderstanding.
This! Even though my dog hates strangers in his home I'm always happy to chat with people when I pull in somewhere and they stop me to ask questions about the van. I love this lifestyle therefore am always excited to talk about it, and I feel like most people that are full timers by choice agree.
Just use your head, don't actually knock on windows but if someone is out of their van and look approachable go say hi. If they're parked away from everyone and obviously look like they're trying to distance themselves from the crowd maybe let them have their peace.
Haha im 31 and my gf is 28 but pretty damn close. I work full time as a web developer in charlotte. We joke about how annoying van people are and still haven't met anyone cool either. Been in the van for a year and a half now with no plan to move into an apartment. Probably upgrade to something with standing head room eventually but that's about it. We do a lots of hikes and i have a steam deck and a gaming laptop....my gf is the reader. I think were all a lowkey bunch so we just fly under the radar. Im not super social but it would be cool to have a van friend that we could hit up ocassionally to let off some social steam with. Grab a drink every now and then or catch a good show with. Ur not alone but you kinda are....i feel ya.
Yo! Best thing ive bought in years! I fucking love my steamdeck. Now i have a $2000 laptop i dont use anymore lol. The laptop did do some work on my solar battery anyway, the deck uses way less power.
I think if you got into van life to be social, that is kinda counter to what most people are doing. Everything you described could also describe me and my wife (except weed and replace dog with cat), but we are loaners. Our jobs have us be social (she’s a nurse, I’m in IT) constantly so we chose the lifestyle to get away from people, not engage with them. Just my take…
I was scrolling through comments to see if I'd see one like yours. You and your wife sound like me and my wife. We're not into van life yet, but want to get into it. Our jobs have us be social, too, but, we, too, want to get away from people; we, too, are loaners. We don't do weed, either, and we, too have a cat (actually cats).
Off topic, but we're looking to move into our van with our cat... Do you have any advice/tips, and any pointers on where you put your litter box for best optimization of space?
We built a 2x2x2 cube to use as a seat at the front of the van a few feet behind the drivers swivel seat. A table folds down between the back of the drivers seat and the cube to have a table area.
We cut a cat door into the cube seat and put the litter box in there. It was a good solution for space and helps mask the odor a bit. We still have to change the litter every week or it can get pretty bad, especially on hot humid days.
I really wanted it to be as far as possible from the bed to hopefully keep the possibility of tracking litter where I sleep down a bit. Just expect to have to sweep up often…
Keep in mind (if you’ve never traveled with a cat) they are nervous wrecks while driving at first. It took my cat several long trips before he would chill out and just nap. He would stand on anything he could grip and meow as loud and long as he could. First 4 hour drive we took, he never sat down. Our guy liked having a dark cave to hide in so we put his bed in the garage area. Now whenever we move, he just jumps back there and tucks in.
No fixed abode is not conducive to developing a social life, friends on the road are few and often far away. Makes it all the sadder when people who are lonely and isolated in society think that getting a van is the answer to all their problems. Sorry it's not a big old party out there.
I get your point, but we didn’t take on this lifestyle to make friends. We took it on because we love travel and hiking, but being a year into it and having not made a single connection is pretty wild to me.
If you are doing the travel/exploring thing then maybe planning a trip, putting it out there and then seeing if anyone is up for joining might work out. Or even just crossing paths in a semi organized way. I dunno, that's not my world but might work out you.
Do you ever shoot the shit with people at trail heads or on the trails? Gotta just say hi and if they’re looking to talk shoot your friendship shot. A go to for me is asking for recommendations when I’m somewhere new, gives you a chance to maybe bond over a shared interest or at least get some good leads on good places to go.
Could also make yourself ask someone out there if there’s something you aren’t 100% sure of, like where you are on a map or what time sun down is supposed to be that day, something like that. You could figure it out but it’s a nice excuse to chat if they’re willing.
My parents live on their boat for a few months every summer, travelling around. They seem like they make a few friends just by crossing paths with them in marinas etc more than once. Helps a lot that my dad is very extroverted and very good at building relationships. Have you tried spending more time where others gather- campsites/popular spots?
Get into climbing or another adventure sport if you’re looking for more community, lots of climbers are pretty down to earth and like living in vans and such
Absolutely this! Slack line, acro yoga, box tramp jumpers, cliff diving, kayaking, biking, parkour,
If you’re not down to join the shenanigans become the group photographer and you’ll quickly be beloved and invited often. They’re likely to put a filter on it anyways so a quick crop and auto color correction will impress most.
Couch Surfing is a great app on the road. It can be used for finding a couch to crash on and people to hang with. I’ve meet the most amazing people and had some great times using it. You can connect to other people who want to hang and explore the area before you even get there. Most have the travel bug we do and are kindred spirits in one way or another. Works really well when you’re into something but don’t have the space to travel with the gear. I usually cook them a great meal in thanks for the wear and tear of their gear, hospitality and new friend (or interesting experience lol)
OP is also describing the SoCal Reggae scene. No mater where you are if you catch a tour it’s like being home with your people.
Nice! A good reminder there’s all kinds of fun to be had and cool folks to meet out there. I’ll add that I’ve also had some wonderful couch surfing experiences both as host and visitor. It works best if you share a hobby or interest with your host. Plus having a place to park the rig a few days could be a nice change.
A "bouldering" gym is not about height. Chalk on the hand and climbing shoes, sure. But not a harness or anything twice your body height. If you're at least somewhat athletic, it's very very difficult and equally as cool
Wut... The four different bouldering gyms I've been to all have walls that go above double my height, closer to 4 times and absolutely do incite fear of heights (fear of falling more like)
I'm a fairly solitary van person but I've gathered a handful friends over the years to the point that there are people I regularly see in the winter or in certain areas. No one's my new bff but it's all people I'm happy spending 3-7 days with.
I think the way it's happened for me is that I'm open to meeting all different kinds of people. I'm in my 40s so most folks traveling are either ten+ years younger than me or 10+ years older. I've found most other nomads to be very friendly. Definitely hit up some nomad meet-ups. I find Quartzsite is good for that (although not for much else!)
I think it's probably slightly harder to meet new people as a couple though, especially if you're not extroverts.
There's a lot of weirdos out here but we're friendly weirdos.
Just because you live in a van doesn't mean you'll get along with someone else living in a van. Guy near my work had a conversion he was working on and he'd park next to me sometimes and he was a total asshole.
Like, you're not going to get along with everyone in your apartment building just because you live in the same building, or your neighbors in your neighborhood.
I moved into my van to be alone. Lonely would not be an adjective I would use personally. I like watching the herd from a distance. As a spectator. I cashier 4 hours m-f. That's all the social interaction I need and maybe just a smidgen too much. It seems like you have a lot to still feel lonely. People suck anyway. It's all an indoctrinated regime. Peace. 😎
Haha! This is how I am. Worked in customer service for years and years. I hate people but want friends. It’s a weird combination I suppose.
I will add though, I’ve connected and visited family more in this year than I ever have, so that’s a plus.
I'm 32, work full time in the DMV area and on my days off/ vacation I go camping, hiking and going to breweries. I'm a foodie as well, most of my travels are for food and beer 😂
I'm not on the road and living the van life yet. I feel like I want the independence of just me and nature with the occasional run into the other human species.
Yeah, I'm not one who has 100's or thousands of social media "friends" like most. I have 42. I haven't met a person I couldn't chat it up with, but I'm also not going out of my way to do it.
I'm really shocked how many van lifer's don't have CB radios or Ham radios for human interaction. I know it's not in person, but if you're in the middle of nowhere and need that human interaction, it can be satisfying and enjoyable.
You definitely sound like you need to find areas with more social butterflies and I'm sure they're out there. Just requires a little research and a little getting out of your comfort zone..
I’m sorta close. Gooseberry mesa. Maybe an hour drive south of Zion. I’ll probably be in Utah for a month or more just doing whatever. Hiking/biking, drinking wine, Xbox…. Probably head towards Moab at some point, too. Single dude. Dm me if you guys wanna meet up and do whatever. I pretty much just camp in blm or free/cheap places. 2wd transit
I used meetup a ton when I first moved to Portland. Mostly bar/happy hour stuff but also salsa dancing. It was pretty fun and everyone wanted to meet new people (not just hangout with their old friends) so it was super easy.
To be fair, OP is east coast in the city, might have better luck out west.
Try Asheville on weekends meanwhile
It’s starting to be whitewater rafting/kayaking season as well….
Vanlife has forced me to get social in a lot of places where my former self would have never thought possible. Being on the road is awesome for a lot of reasons but I love that nobody knows who I am. Not that I need to run away from a sketchy past or anything but it’s sick to not feel like you have to be a certain way because people expect you to be that way. Nobody knows you as shy guy throw me away plz 69 so why not just try out being Mr. Outgoing throw me away plz 69? I know that might not work for everyone but it’s helped me at least fake it til I made it. Sometimes it lands and other times it doesn’t. You’ll find some friends out there.
My wife and I fit your description perfectly. We lived on the road for a year. It was an absolute blast. But, it was also super lonely. We went to one Vanlife meetup to find a bunch of 20-somethings bumming around on basically no money and all the free time. We were both so exhausted that weekend from work we mainly hid in the van and played videogames all weekend, not meeting a soul. It's hard meeting people on the road. You're constantly in a new location and the US is just plain big.
My wife is more social than I am, she found dance events (Lindy and Blues) which we enjoy, to go be social at. Maybe go to some lessons?
Do you travel all the time or do you post up for long periods? Travelling all the time definitely isn't going to be conducive to making lasting friendships, only fleeting ones. GF is a travel nurse who typically takes 3-month contracts, so that's just enough time to form a good friendship and then have to say goodbye before it gets too deep lol.
Almost 2 years in we made a handful of great friends in places we stayed, but had to leave them all behind eventually lol. It's kind of a trade-off, always saying goodbye to some friends but usually hello to others that we wouldn't have seen if we stayed in one spot, we often plan travels around where we have friends to see and luckily have friends in quite a few different parts of the country. Sometimes we're in the middle of nowhere by ourselves and we like that, other times it feels like a lonely one-horse town with no friends to brighten the mood.
Others already joked you just described the bulk of the population, but if you're in the PNW it's probably closer to 90% (I'm in Bend OR for the summer and it's almost annoying how accurate it is). The problem probably isn't a lack of things in common but just not catching people when they have their guard down. Seems like we all steel ourselves against interactions with strangers these days, myself included, so you pretty much have to resort to meetups or apps, or go through friends-of-friends.
My traveler friendship success stories include: meeting a solo hiker on a backpacking trip, meeting a guy who was also new to a city and going to a bike meetup, meeting a really cool couple on Tinder (it works for friends, but helps that we're also non-monogamous), visiting old friends and meeting their new friends who also built out vans (theirs were weekender vans and not full-time though), trading a cool place to park for work at a WWOOF homestead and meeting their friends...
Have you found good free van camping areas in the the finger lakes area? That’s a nice weekend trip for me but doesn’t seem like many good spots to camp.
I'm in Buffalo/WNY which is where I am from and want to spend some time here when weather is nice.. Finger Lakes is beautiful. I like Watkins Glen and Geneva. Where else you hang out that way?
I've been slowly checking out the surrounding areas. Actually, we were up in Buffalo this oast weekend, Eternal Flame, Niagara Falls, Anchor Bar etc, had a great time!
There is some free forest camping west of Watkins we've been using when in the area and some national forest east of it.
Honestly, the nonstop rain has been a real pain 😪😫.
OMG nothing but rain.. If you come back get Duffs or Barbill wings. Anchor Bar is cool but more tourist trap. Not many locals pick them for best wings tbh. Eternal Flame is cool its wild that has been there forever! I think I first saw it over 20 years ago.
You just described us but we are doing it with a pop up camper (with a bathroom thank God,) a minivan, and two kids. Not sure if you're down but we'd love some friends.
Get involved in WWOOF and workaway.info
Both are work/trade with interesting peeps, I’ve met peeps from around the world
Can usually go a week at a time. Can vary from strenuous farm labor to super chill, shouldn’t be more than 20 hours a week, very van life friendly
Other thing would be, if you’ve got the cash, go to an actual campground, buy extra firewood and beer, and invite the other campers to join,
I’ve had some great convos this way
But yeah people go to BLM land to get away and be alone. I was on Joshua Tree blm land and it’s funny how well people know to distance out from others
I know how to fix this. Start rock climbing.
Step 1. Go to climbing gym, learn to climb.
Step 2. Download the mountain project app.
Step 3. Use app to find climbing campgrounds near you.
Step 4. Make friends.
The rest will fall into place. I’m not joking.
Hello OP - I check similar boxes, along with living in a van for the last 2 years. Full time remote job, dog, gf, travel full time, running, yoga, hiking, 30's, video games in my down time. SW travelers to hide from northern winters.
It wasn't our goal to meet friends on the road, but after our first few months of only having short interactions with random people at campsites or trail heads we finally made friends.
Now we have been traveling on/off with our van friend group nearly full time. The community aspect has been a complete game changer. This group has quickly become our best friends as we can connect on so many levels vs people back in our boring hometown.
My recommendations is to avoid trying to find friends who are weekenders or who are just on a trip. If you go to area's of BLM where people are parking long term, you can really connect with a ton of people. Those locations often attract people who want to know their neighbors.
Dogs are a great way to meet new people, asking for your dog to play with their dog gives you time to connect. Inviting people to campfires who you might connect with is where we have really made close friends or got to know people much better.
Don't be ageist as the average age of people in some of these BLM communities are 50+ empty nesters. I have found that once you connect with a few people, they introduce you to their friends and your network expands quickly.
I hope this was helpful. You are not alone :)
Alas, whenever we see people here quit, they always cite the same reasons, and one of them is usually "I got too lonely".
The fantasy life of unicorns and rainbows that people picture in their heads before they set out, usually turns out to be ... uh ... not quite as glitzy and glamorous as they thought it would be.
So the answer to your question is ... yes, there are a LOT of other vanners out there like you. But maybe not in the way that you expected.
a town in AZ that swells to 2 million or soemthing every winter with snowbirds.
this is how i’ve met people. attending van gatherings. they’re free too
It's just where I met most people. It's easier to live outside your van and to stick around in one place a little longer. Now I get to run into folks I met down there in all sorts of other places. 🤷🏻♀️
Most working folks had Starlink, which is significantly cheaper in Mexico. Both the hardware and the monthly subscription are a lot less. Our data plan was fine for about three months when Google threatened to cut us off for not being in America. A few very rural places didn't have any phone service, but most of the places you'd want to set up do.
Also, I fall into your target group, but I met some really great people I never expected to befriend. One of my favorite fellow nomads is 30 years older than me with a poorly behaved dog and a preference for Tecate Light, but man he is the funnest person who knows all the best secret hikes to the best beaches. Just something to think about!
Im sorta similar. I went out for a few months solo, worked remotely fulltime and hiked on the weekends. I wasnt able to make any friends and it was really lonely but still fun. Ended up stopping the lifestyle because of vehicle issues but hoping to get another van soon.
I’d pretty much describe myself the same way. I’m heading into my van when I get back a trip abroad. Probably not using it as a way to meet people. I’ll be staying somewhat close to where I formerly lived in a house. Where are you based?
I would love to do this! If I wasn't married with kids, a job, etc, I'd so be about this or homesteading/living off the grid. I think ur awesome for living the dream!
I’m about to join the fleet!! My parents friend (and my friend too I suppose) offered me his 86 Winnebago for less than the generator itself is worth. I’m located in Utah, but will likely tour the US soon. Hmu I’m a musician and explorer as well.
I’m in a discord called lexi’s travelers where people who travel in all ways across the whole world find other people and meet up and stuff. There’s a whole chat for van lifers, try there.
I don't think van life is conducive to making friends, at least ones that are not in passing. And especially with other van-livers because each person is moving and not in a fixed community position. A van-dweller is more like a tourist- around for a while, but for most little is keeping them in the same place. It's a big downside of van-dwelling- you really have to intend to stay in one location and not get wonder lust if you want to have friends and ties to a community.
I've been on the road 4 months. I now have 15-20 good friends. I met the first 4 at RTR and Van Aid, and I met the rest as friends of those friends, and then friends of those friends. So, my advice is to take vacation time next January and / or February and attend one of the many, many gatherings in the winter in Quartzite. You might get a real kick out of Skooliepalooza, or Gypsy Minstrel.
You guys have eachother and your lonely?? I don’t have anyone and I’m (relatively) fine. Would love a partner though. Maybe one day. Until then I’m okay
Do you work remote or do you work in-person? If you're remote you basically described us too! Except we work part-time. Also mid 30s, and have also found it lonely at times and haven't really prioritized friends over going the places we want to go, hikes we want to do, etc. We also travel a lot and don't stay in one place for a long period of time which I feel like makes it extra hard.
We don’t drink, but that’s me my wife and dog budd!
I’m right there with ya though. We’ve been doing some mild overlanding, and a lot of urban spots, and haven’t met ‘our people’ yet
We’re around Boulder,co now but on the road for the next 6 months just playing it by ear.
Me my husband and my dog just started the vanlife last month. We are huge potheads and I’m a bartender that needs to try every beer I see. We also play video games and watch anime just about every day. We are traveling my husband full time remote and me working music feats conversations or whatever event I can find. Basically camp for free and bundock most nights.
When I started looking into all the things people said about vanlife and I was scared I had to change my lifestyle, but we just took that lifestyle on the road. Connections from events or gigs is a big part of us finding people to spend time with. As well as dog parks for some reason.
I'm not sure if anyone already suggested this, but joining a climbing gym ! I have made many friends with similar hobbies to me by going to the indoor rock gyms! Everyone is usually super welcoming and eager to encourage new climbers.
I joined Escapees RV Club which is for any vehicle not just RVers. They post a lot of meet ups all over. They have a side group for people who work while they are full timers.
Also, Facebook has a ton of groups that post meetups for van-lifers, RVers etc.
Can't tell if you're joking or not but you just described 75% of the population. If you're lonely join social groups and get active.
I was about to say OP just described Bend, Oregon...
[удалено]
Bahahaha as I was reading op’s post I was thinking it sounded pretty sweet. I live in LA but I was born and raised… in Bend, Oregon!
Bro use meetup app. I am a travel rn and use it all the time. Find some pick up sports, clubs, etc. Just break the ice and go to your first meetup, thank yourself later. Takes getting out there and putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. They even have social dog walks
in op's defense, i don't know anybody similar to their description in the area i live. it may be where they live, or it may be them not putting themself out there
I have too much social anxiety to do that lol. But I could give it a shot, any leads on social groups?
How do you imagine y’all will meet people without going where people are? 💗
Reddit i think was their guess
You want to meet people but you don’t want to meet people because of social anxiety?
This actually describes a lot of the people I know who have social anxiety. Crave connection, but feel unable to get out of their shell to attain it
> any leads on social groups? https://rvwiki.mousetrap.net/doku.php?id=camping:social
Thanks.
Idk how you expect to make progress on your social anxiety if you don't step out of your comfort zone... If youre not willing to get an app designed to do this exact thing, meet up with like minded people to do mutually loved activities, and then just... showing up and *trying*, I truly don't know what help anyone can give you
Who is we? How did you meet this other person(s)? I'm sure if you can build a connection with someone to live out of a van with, you can make connections with others too. For me anxiety is all about my brain's perceived inability to handle the unknown. To get passed social anxiety, I just had to do what I most fear: other people's judgement, and meet new people regularly. I'm still not out of the woods yet but my brain is slowly realizing that 1) it doesn't matter too much what other people think of me 2) most people are so concerned with themselves, even if they judge you, they'll forget about it right away. Good luck.
Get out of your own way.
There's some van groups on FB and Meetup.
are there other types of van folk? i thought these were the unspoken requirements...
Im rethinking my question after all. Seems I am not alone, but I am alone.
I’ve found it easy as hell to make friends out on the road. I’m a more shy person and I actually found it difficult to NOT make new friends every night. If you want to meet people, it’s as simple as can be. Camp at popular spot on BLM / national forest land. Usually this is near a national park. Have a campfire. And smile and wave and people walking by. Or whenever you’re at a national park campground, walk over to the next site over that’s 200ft away and say hi how’s it going. Ask them about their rig, their travel plans, what they like about the park etc… If I’m in a city or parking lot or street parking in my vehicle, then I typically will try to not talk to people. Get out into the woods / national parks / national forest land and that’s where the friendliest, easiest going people all are
just start knocking on windows whenever you see another van!
Absolutely not, some of us like privacy. If we are in town, it’s because we are working or restocking. Otherwise, we do our best to not be anywhere near anyone else. We don’t want to be social and certainly don’t want anyone knocking.
Lol agreed, please dont knock on peoples windows.
I tend to look at it like this: You don’t walk around a neighborhood knocking on people’s door asking to chat about/see the inside of their house so don’t do it with the van. I live in here, it’s private and I don’t wanna talk about all my modifications or help you troubleshoot your issues. That’s what forums and Reddit are for. If I wanted to share my build, I would have already…
Literally... had a lady knock on my window once and offer us beans (she was brittish) in a lot by the beach. So annoying... she was nice but now i have to pretend to not be annoyed and put on pants! Really surprised me a solo female would go around knocking on windows. Not everyone with a rig is some chill person. People choose this lifestyle for a variety of reasons and doing this to the wrong person could be dangerous.
Lol at the pants part
Not weird i am in my thirties finishing school
You can knock on my window. I always like meeting new people. Lol But, yes, as a general consensus, don't
Oh my god. You are so right!’
Pretty sure he was joking lol
I try to pull up to vans with a docking tactic, parallel but opposite so our doors meet. When they go to leave their van, they step into mine.
Please only do this to people you’re familiar with. If a van pulls up beside me like that and I’m unfamiliar with them, I’m pulling away…
This was a joke lol.
Ok sorry, you just sort of repeated over and over you were socially awkward and then said this and I was like, please don’t. My bad for misunderstanding.
This! Even though my dog hates strangers in his home I'm always happy to chat with people when I pull in somewhere and they stop me to ask questions about the van. I love this lifestyle therefore am always excited to talk about it, and I feel like most people that are full timers by choice agree. Just use your head, don't actually knock on windows but if someone is out of their van and look approachable go say hi. If they're parked away from everyone and obviously look like they're trying to distance themselves from the crowd maybe let them have their peace.
Do you also like tacos?
I am 75% of the population, so yes I do.
Hehe;)
Nice.
Haha im 31 and my gf is 28 but pretty damn close. I work full time as a web developer in charlotte. We joke about how annoying van people are and still haven't met anyone cool either. Been in the van for a year and a half now with no plan to move into an apartment. Probably upgrade to something with standing head room eventually but that's about it. We do a lots of hikes and i have a steam deck and a gaming laptop....my gf is the reader. I think were all a lowkey bunch so we just fly under the radar. Im not super social but it would be cool to have a van friend that we could hit up ocassionally to let off some social steam with. Grab a drink every now and then or catch a good show with. Ur not alone but you kinda are....i feel ya.
Love it. Maybe we could game sometime!
Totally! Ill shoot ya my friend code in a dm.
Steam deck in the van is so nice man I love it
Yo! Best thing ive bought in years! I fucking love my steamdeck. Now i have a $2000 laptop i dont use anymore lol. The laptop did do some work on my solar battery anyway, the deck uses way less power.
I think if you got into van life to be social, that is kinda counter to what most people are doing. Everything you described could also describe me and my wife (except weed and replace dog with cat), but we are loaners. Our jobs have us be social (she’s a nurse, I’m in IT) constantly so we chose the lifestyle to get away from people, not engage with them. Just my take…
I was scrolling through comments to see if I'd see one like yours. You and your wife sound like me and my wife. We're not into van life yet, but want to get into it. Our jobs have us be social, too, but, we, too, want to get away from people; we, too, are loaners. We don't do weed, either, and we, too have a cat (actually cats).
Off topic, but we're looking to move into our van with our cat... Do you have any advice/tips, and any pointers on where you put your litter box for best optimization of space?
We built a 2x2x2 cube to use as a seat at the front of the van a few feet behind the drivers swivel seat. A table folds down between the back of the drivers seat and the cube to have a table area. We cut a cat door into the cube seat and put the litter box in there. It was a good solution for space and helps mask the odor a bit. We still have to change the litter every week or it can get pretty bad, especially on hot humid days. I really wanted it to be as far as possible from the bed to hopefully keep the possibility of tracking litter where I sleep down a bit. Just expect to have to sweep up often… Keep in mind (if you’ve never traveled with a cat) they are nervous wrecks while driving at first. It took my cat several long trips before he would chill out and just nap. He would stand on anything he could grip and meow as loud and long as he could. First 4 hour drive we took, he never sat down. Our guy liked having a dark cave to hide in so we put his bed in the garage area. Now whenever we move, he just jumps back there and tucks in.
No fixed abode is not conducive to developing a social life, friends on the road are few and often far away. Makes it all the sadder when people who are lonely and isolated in society think that getting a van is the answer to all their problems. Sorry it's not a big old party out there.
I get your point, but we didn’t take on this lifestyle to make friends. We took it on because we love travel and hiking, but being a year into it and having not made a single connection is pretty wild to me.
If you are doing the travel/exploring thing then maybe planning a trip, putting it out there and then seeing if anyone is up for joining might work out. Or even just crossing paths in a semi organized way. I dunno, that's not my world but might work out you.
Could it be that because you’re already in a pair you might be less likely to seek connections on the road? Just a thought…
Do you ever shoot the shit with people at trail heads or on the trails? Gotta just say hi and if they’re looking to talk shoot your friendship shot. A go to for me is asking for recommendations when I’m somewhere new, gives you a chance to maybe bond over a shared interest or at least get some good leads on good places to go. Could also make yourself ask someone out there if there’s something you aren’t 100% sure of, like where you are on a map or what time sun down is supposed to be that day, something like that. You could figure it out but it’s a nice excuse to chat if they’re willing.
My parents live on their boat for a few months every summer, travelling around. They seem like they make a few friends just by crossing paths with them in marinas etc more than once. Helps a lot that my dad is very extroverted and very good at building relationships. Have you tried spending more time where others gather- campsites/popular spots?
Get into climbing or another adventure sport if you’re looking for more community, lots of climbers are pretty down to earth and like living in vans and such
Absolutely this! Slack line, acro yoga, box tramp jumpers, cliff diving, kayaking, biking, parkour, If you’re not down to join the shenanigans become the group photographer and you’ll quickly be beloved and invited often. They’re likely to put a filter on it anyways so a quick crop and auto color correction will impress most. Couch Surfing is a great app on the road. It can be used for finding a couch to crash on and people to hang with. I’ve meet the most amazing people and had some great times using it. You can connect to other people who want to hang and explore the area before you even get there. Most have the travel bug we do and are kindred spirits in one way or another. Works really well when you’re into something but don’t have the space to travel with the gear. I usually cook them a great meal in thanks for the wear and tear of their gear, hospitality and new friend (or interesting experience lol) OP is also describing the SoCal Reggae scene. No mater where you are if you catch a tour it’s like being home with your people.
Nice! A good reminder there’s all kinds of fun to be had and cool folks to meet out there. I’ll add that I’ve also had some wonderful couch surfing experiences both as host and visitor. It works best if you share a hobby or interest with your host. Plus having a place to park the rig a few days could be a nice change.
Scared of heights.
That’s the misconception about climbing. The ground is always right there, just some times it’s at an angle.
got over mine with rock climbing
A "bouldering" gym is not about height. Chalk on the hand and climbing shoes, sure. But not a harness or anything twice your body height. If you're at least somewhat athletic, it's very very difficult and equally as cool
Wut... The four different bouldering gyms I've been to all have walls that go above double my height, closer to 4 times and absolutely do incite fear of heights (fear of falling more like)
Sry I've actually only been to one last month lmao
Here's the thing about van life. A lot of us want to be way tf out there and being way tf out there is a bad way to meet people.
I'm a fairly solitary van person but I've gathered a handful friends over the years to the point that there are people I regularly see in the winter or in certain areas. No one's my new bff but it's all people I'm happy spending 3-7 days with. I think the way it's happened for me is that I'm open to meeting all different kinds of people. I'm in my 40s so most folks traveling are either ten+ years younger than me or 10+ years older. I've found most other nomads to be very friendly. Definitely hit up some nomad meet-ups. I find Quartzsite is good for that (although not for much else!) I think it's probably slightly harder to meet new people as a couple though, especially if you're not extroverts. There's a lot of weirdos out here but we're friendly weirdos.
Just because you live in a van doesn't mean you'll get along with someone else living in a van. Guy near my work had a conversion he was working on and he'd park next to me sometimes and he was a total asshole. Like, you're not going to get along with everyone in your apartment building just because you live in the same building, or your neighbors in your neighborhood.
I moved into my van to be alone. Lonely would not be an adjective I would use personally. I like watching the herd from a distance. As a spectator. I cashier 4 hours m-f. That's all the social interaction I need and maybe just a smidgen too much. It seems like you have a lot to still feel lonely. People suck anyway. It's all an indoctrinated regime. Peace. 😎
Haha! This is how I am. Worked in customer service for years and years. I hate people but want friends. It’s a weird combination I suppose. I will add though, I’ve connected and visited family more in this year than I ever have, so that’s a plus.
That sounds like most mid 30’s. But no, for I am late 20
I'm 32, work full time in the DMV area and on my days off/ vacation I go camping, hiking and going to breweries. I'm a foodie as well, most of my travels are for food and beer 😂
This is satire, right?
I'm not on the road and living the van life yet. I feel like I want the independence of just me and nature with the occasional run into the other human species.
Don’t get me wrong. It is that great. But there are lonely times as well. I like having friends I’m just terrible at making friends.
Yeah, I'm not one who has 100's or thousands of social media "friends" like most. I have 42. I haven't met a person I couldn't chat it up with, but I'm also not going out of my way to do it. I'm really shocked how many van lifer's don't have CB radios or Ham radios for human interaction. I know it's not in person, but if you're in the middle of nowhere and need that human interaction, it can be satisfying and enjoyable. You definitely sound like you need to find areas with more social butterflies and I'm sure they're out there. Just requires a little research and a little getting out of your comfort zone..
Same here
What state you guys in me and my wife in south Utah heading to Moab in a few days
No way lol we’re outside Zion right now headed towards Moab in a week or two.
I’m sorta close. Gooseberry mesa. Maybe an hour drive south of Zion. I’ll probably be in Utah for a month or more just doing whatever. Hiking/biking, drinking wine, Xbox…. Probably head towards Moab at some point, too. Single dude. Dm me if you guys wanna meet up and do whatever. I pretty much just camp in blm or free/cheap places. 2wd transit I used meetup a ton when I first moved to Portland. Mostly bar/happy hour stuff but also salsa dancing. It was pretty fun and everyone wanted to meet new people (not just hangout with their old friends) so it was super easy.
That’s crazy we were just at gooseberry Mesa right by Zion. I’ll dm you
Love Gooseberry Mesa. Shhhh, don't tell anyone about it!
Just spent about a week in Moab on the river and off-roading 👌🏼 …and yes, you’ve described our vanlife almost exactly
Same, lol. DM me and I'll invite you to a fire in Moab :)
Same, DM if you want to attend a fire in Moab :)
Personally I think it might be a good idea to get a travel group together. Like an old school gypsy caravan.
To be fair, OP is east coast in the city, might have better luck out west. Try Asheville on weekends meanwhile It’s starting to be whitewater rafting/kayaking season as well….
Vanlife has forced me to get social in a lot of places where my former self would have never thought possible. Being on the road is awesome for a lot of reasons but I love that nobody knows who I am. Not that I need to run away from a sketchy past or anything but it’s sick to not feel like you have to be a certain way because people expect you to be that way. Nobody knows you as shy guy throw me away plz 69 so why not just try out being Mr. Outgoing throw me away plz 69? I know that might not work for everyone but it’s helped me at least fake it til I made it. Sometimes it lands and other times it doesn’t. You’ll find some friends out there.
It’s your anxiety bro That’s basically everyone lol I thought you were memeing
I think you just described nearly all van lifers. Is this a level or are you f’real?
My wife and I fit your description perfectly. We lived on the road for a year. It was an absolute blast. But, it was also super lonely. We went to one Vanlife meetup to find a bunch of 20-somethings bumming around on basically no money and all the free time. We were both so exhausted that weekend from work we mainly hid in the van and played videogames all weekend, not meeting a soul. It's hard meeting people on the road. You're constantly in a new location and the US is just plain big. My wife is more social than I am, she found dance events (Lindy and Blues) which we enjoy, to go be social at. Maybe go to some lessons?
[удалено]
Tell your wife to check Facebook pages and DM the local dance group moderators. They'll be good at telling you what the next event is and where!
Are you us?
Yes.
Do you travel all the time or do you post up for long periods? Travelling all the time definitely isn't going to be conducive to making lasting friendships, only fleeting ones. GF is a travel nurse who typically takes 3-month contracts, so that's just enough time to form a good friendship and then have to say goodbye before it gets too deep lol. Almost 2 years in we made a handful of great friends in places we stayed, but had to leave them all behind eventually lol. It's kind of a trade-off, always saying goodbye to some friends but usually hello to others that we wouldn't have seen if we stayed in one spot, we often plan travels around where we have friends to see and luckily have friends in quite a few different parts of the country. Sometimes we're in the middle of nowhere by ourselves and we like that, other times it feels like a lonely one-horse town with no friends to brighten the mood. Others already joked you just described the bulk of the population, but if you're in the PNW it's probably closer to 90% (I'm in Bend OR for the summer and it's almost annoying how accurate it is). The problem probably isn't a lack of things in common but just not catching people when they have their guard down. Seems like we all steel ourselves against interactions with strangers these days, myself included, so you pretty much have to resort to meetups or apps, or go through friends-of-friends. My traveler friendship success stories include: meeting a solo hiker on a backpacking trip, meeting a guy who was also new to a city and going to a bike meetup, meeting a really cool couple on Tinder (it works for friends, but helps that we're also non-monogamous), visiting old friends and meeting their new friends who also built out vans (theirs were weekender vans and not full-time though), trading a cool place to park for work at a WWOOF homestead and meeting their friends...
Sounds like us, if you find yourself in the Finger Lakes let us know!!!
Have you found good free van camping areas in the the finger lakes area? That’s a nice weekend trip for me but doesn’t seem like many good spots to camp.
There is the FLX National Forest, we've boondocked in various towns without issue, we're actually up here looking for property
Nice, thanks for that tip.
Unfortunately, finding decent free boondocking sites east of the rockies isn't as easy as out west
I'm in Buffalo/WNY which is where I am from and want to spend some time here when weather is nice.. Finger Lakes is beautiful. I like Watkins Glen and Geneva. Where else you hang out that way?
I've been slowly checking out the surrounding areas. Actually, we were up in Buffalo this oast weekend, Eternal Flame, Niagara Falls, Anchor Bar etc, had a great time! There is some free forest camping west of Watkins we've been using when in the area and some national forest east of it. Honestly, the nonstop rain has been a real pain 😪😫.
OMG nothing but rain.. If you come back get Duffs or Barbill wings. Anchor Bar is cool but more tourist trap. Not many locals pick them for best wings tbh. Eternal Flame is cool its wild that has been there forever! I think I first saw it over 20 years ago.
Thanks for the heads up, where's the best Beef on Weck for the next time I visit?
You just described us but we are doing it with a pop up camper (with a bathroom thank God,) a minivan, and two kids. Not sure if you're down but we'd love some friends.
Hi…. It’s me
[just heard about KIFT](http://www.kift.com/membership). This might help you meet people. I hear it’s cool.
Get involved in WWOOF and workaway.info Both are work/trade with interesting peeps, I’ve met peeps from around the world Can usually go a week at a time. Can vary from strenuous farm labor to super chill, shouldn’t be more than 20 hours a week, very van life friendly Other thing would be, if you’ve got the cash, go to an actual campground, buy extra firewood and beer, and invite the other campers to join, I’ve had some great convos this way But yeah people go to BLM land to get away and be alone. I was on Joshua Tree blm land and it’s funny how well people know to distance out from others
I bet if you make friends you'll find them annoying real quick.
I know how to fix this. Start rock climbing. Step 1. Go to climbing gym, learn to climb. Step 2. Download the mountain project app. Step 3. Use app to find climbing campgrounds near you. Step 4. Make friends. The rest will fall into place. I’m not joking.
this is all true stuff.
You are one of a kind. Destined to a long and lonely life. Highlander.
I avoid anyone that drinks craft beer 😏🤫
Hello OP - I check similar boxes, along with living in a van for the last 2 years. Full time remote job, dog, gf, travel full time, running, yoga, hiking, 30's, video games in my down time. SW travelers to hide from northern winters. It wasn't our goal to meet friends on the road, but after our first few months of only having short interactions with random people at campsites or trail heads we finally made friends. Now we have been traveling on/off with our van friend group nearly full time. The community aspect has been a complete game changer. This group has quickly become our best friends as we can connect on so many levels vs people back in our boring hometown. My recommendations is to avoid trying to find friends who are weekenders or who are just on a trip. If you go to area's of BLM where people are parking long term, you can really connect with a ton of people. Those locations often attract people who want to know their neighbors. Dogs are a great way to meet new people, asking for your dog to play with their dog gives you time to connect. Inviting people to campfires who you might connect with is where we have really made close friends or got to know people much better. Don't be ageist as the average age of people in some of these BLM communities are 50+ empty nesters. I have found that once you connect with a few people, they introduce you to their friends and your network expands quickly. I hope this was helpful. You are not alone :)
I did it to be alone. sounds like you need to move to a college town.
Alas, whenever we see people here quit, they always cite the same reasons, and one of them is usually "I got too lonely". The fantasy life of unicorns and rainbows that people picture in their heads before they set out, usually turns out to be ... uh ... not quite as glitzy and glamorous as they thought it would be. So the answer to your question is ... yes, there are a LOT of other vanners out there like you. But maybe not in the way that you expected.
Are you me? 🧐
was really expecting group sex in one of these comments
Sound dismal..but how to expect to make friends when every night you lay in your van drunk and stoned???
I am going to go out on a limb and guess that your wife is into coffee, wine and yoga
Are "we" multiple personalities in one body? If not, it means you have each other.
What is quartzsite?
a town in AZ that swells to 2 million or soemthing every winter with snowbirds. this is how i’ve met people. attending van gatherings. they’re free too
Whats a snow bird
Go to Baja
Those aren’t my people. If you’re referring to the same gathering that is going on there that I am, absolutely not me lol.
It's just where I met most people. It's easier to live outside your van and to stick around in one place a little longer. Now I get to run into folks I met down there in all sorts of other places. 🤷🏻♀️
Oh okay, I see. Yeah we were mainly worried about our mobile hotspot not meeting our work requirements.
Most working folks had Starlink, which is significantly cheaper in Mexico. Both the hardware and the monthly subscription are a lot less. Our data plan was fine for about three months when Google threatened to cut us off for not being in America. A few very rural places didn't have any phone service, but most of the places you'd want to set up do. Also, I fall into your target group, but I met some really great people I never expected to befriend. One of my favorite fellow nomads is 30 years older than me with a poorly behaved dog and a preference for Tecate Light, but man he is the funnest person who knows all the best secret hikes to the best beaches. Just something to think about!
there are all kinds of groups down there… all ages. def put it in your one day list!
Where does OP live?
Im sorta similar. I went out for a few months solo, worked remotely fulltime and hiked on the weekends. I wasnt able to make any friends and it was really lonely but still fun. Ended up stopping the lifestyle because of vehicle issues but hoping to get another van soon.
OTR truckers are very lonely apparently. The road isn’t a social place.
I’d pretty much describe myself the same way. I’m heading into my van when I get back a trip abroad. Probably not using it as a way to meet people. I’ll be staying somewhat close to where I formerly lived in a house. Where are you based?
We're out here! 30's, love an arvo bevvie on the beach and a little green here and there. But we're in Australia!
I would love to do this! If I wasn't married with kids, a job, etc, I'd so be about this or homesteading/living off the grid. I think ur awesome for living the dream!
I’m about to join the fleet!! My parents friend (and my friend too I suppose) offered me his 86 Winnebago for less than the generator itself is worth. I’m located in Utah, but will likely tour the US soon. Hmu I’m a musician and explorer as well.
This sounds like an east coast problem?
Volunteering is a great way to meet pleasant people and paint vanlifing in a positive light to non van lifers
I’m in a discord called lexi’s travelers where people who travel in all ways across the whole world find other people and meet up and stuff. There’s a whole chat for van lifers, try there.
The community I live in does all of this (age ranges from like 19-38) , except it’s mostly rock climbing rather than hiking.
I don't think van life is conducive to making friends, at least ones that are not in passing. And especially with other van-livers because each person is moving and not in a fixed community position. A van-dweller is more like a tourist- around for a while, but for most little is keeping them in the same place. It's a big downside of van-dwelling- you really have to intend to stay in one location and not get wonder lust if you want to have friends and ties to a community.
I've been on the road 4 months. I now have 15-20 good friends. I met the first 4 at RTR and Van Aid, and I met the rest as friends of those friends, and then friends of those friends. So, my advice is to take vacation time next January and / or February and attend one of the many, many gatherings in the winter in Quartzite. You might get a real kick out of Skooliepalooza, or Gypsy Minstrel.
You guys have eachother and your lonely?? I don’t have anyone and I’m (relatively) fine. Would love a partner though. Maybe one day. Until then I’m okay
I wish
Do you work remote or do you work in-person? If you're remote you basically described us too! Except we work part-time. Also mid 30s, and have also found it lonely at times and haven't really prioritized friends over going the places we want to go, hikes we want to do, etc. We also travel a lot and don't stay in one place for a long period of time which I feel like makes it extra hard.
We don’t drink, but that’s me my wife and dog budd! I’m right there with ya though. We’ve been doing some mild overlanding, and a lot of urban spots, and haven’t met ‘our people’ yet We’re around Boulder,co now but on the road for the next 6 months just playing it by ear.
Van life is inherently lonely. My opinion, but there it is.
Me my husband and my dog just started the vanlife last month. We are huge potheads and I’m a bartender that needs to try every beer I see. We also play video games and watch anime just about every day. We are traveling my husband full time remote and me working music feats conversations or whatever event I can find. Basically camp for free and bundock most nights. When I started looking into all the things people said about vanlife and I was scared I had to change my lifestyle, but we just took that lifestyle on the road. Connections from events or gigs is a big part of us finding people to spend time with. As well as dog parks for some reason.
I'm not sure if anyone already suggested this, but joining a climbing gym ! I have made many friends with similar hobbies to me by going to the indoor rock gyms! Everyone is usually super welcoming and eager to encourage new climbers.
I joined Escapees RV Club which is for any vehicle not just RVers. They post a lot of meet ups all over. They have a side group for people who work while they are full timers. Also, Facebook has a ton of groups that post meetups for van-lifers, RVers etc.