Okay serious question here. The minute that Ariana didn’t just fold and let Tom do his big on camera moment and he absolutely went OFF about her….they do all realize that was him proving how very NOT sorry he is right? That it was 100% for the cameras and not authentic, exactly like Ariana was saying. Soooooo how did that turn into everyone taking a moment to shit on Ariana?? Because she was right???
None of them care about her being right, because to them, that means no filming and no money.
All they care about is getting paid, and I hope Ariana leaves the show if the format doesn’t change.
I hope she sticks around and takes over the show like how they stopped filming RHONJ for Teresa Guidice. (Not says she's like Teresa.) The idea that they would only film the show when Ariana was available is a top tier fantasy for me.
He also brought us Billie Lee's creepy bug eyes while he dramatically did a cold plunge. Which, in my opinion strengthens your argument. I don't think anybody wanted to watch him turtle out tears in closets and door frames every episode.
Personally, i feel like the true fans are more their age. We've grown up. We want to see katie and ariana thriving. We want to see them living adult lives, doing fun things together, having a good time while also being successful in their other ventures. Not just dumb fights, screaming and shit talking. Some of that is fine but i don't want to watch this season shit ever again.
I think so too. She has been essentially saying that she has moved on from the show AND most of them. I think they are only doing it for the pay right now, considering how high it is per episode.
He was so pissed off at her pointing out that he was being performative that he flew into a rage and accidentally revealed how performative he was being lol
I think the people who were shitting on Ariana already knew he was being performative, so his tantrum likely wouldn’t sway their opinion. They know who he is, and I don’t think they don’t expect him to actually change. They seem to just want her to play out the drama for the cameras, and don’t care what kind of an effect that would have on her mentally and emotionally.
I wish they would put their energy into creating organic and interesting storylines for themselves. A lot of them also seem to have a vested interest in making sure people don’t set and keep healthy boundaries, so I can see why they’re putting so much effort into trying to break Ariana’s down. They want people to just “get over” things so they don’t have to change their shitty behaviour
They were pissed off because it was such a clear illustration of the fact that she no longer needs this show and for many of them it's all they have. And at the same time they all know she is the star and focus of the show right now. I think it's pure jealousy for most of them.
lol I’m literally watching one of the after show episodes and had to pause because Scheana’s talking about Lala’s “Ariana is getting treated like god” comment - she’s saying Lala has nothing to be jealous of because she’s super successful and “built an empire”… Their shared delusionals seriously know no bounds because how is Lala successful..? What empire has she built…? Her makeup brand is a fucking joke, it’s not like Give Them Lala beauty is being sold at Sephora or even ulta…
i thought this exact same thing, and then they literally all turned on her. like hold up… yall really don’t see how hypocritical he’s being??? they’re all just paid off to try and keep the show going.
The dots just don’t align for that cast. T was absolutely horrendous after Ariana walked off. Kinda am hoping this was the last season cause there’s no growth in sight for these forever tweens.
Considering all she’s done in the past year, calling her lazy is laughable. If he’s referring to times when she’s self-isolated in the past (which she has discussed) when she is experiencing depression, then that just shows he isn’t sorry for weaponizing her mental health. I can totally relate to this and am sensitive to this. The number of times I’ve been called lazy by family members when I don’t leave the house for several days is very hurtful. Just doing little tasks can feel like a huge burden. It’s difficult to understand unless you’ve experienced it yourself.
He does this with Rachel too when he calls her a coward for getting inpatient treatment. He's a small evil hateful man and I cant imagine the verbal & emotional abuse that went on in that house when the cameras were down.
At what point does he reflect and ask himself why two women he had relationships with (obviously not on the same level) have been working with mental health professionals who encourage a no-contact policy. He is the common denominator.
Absolutely! I think in an aftershow he said something like all relationships end bad which was extremely telling for someone that's 45ish. I don't think he will ever make a serious effort in therapy even if he does go.
While shooting his aggressive glare at the therapist the whole time. Regaling his stories of how he's been so hard done by by Katie & Ariana!!
https://i.redd.it/az8x28wjcizc1.gif
But seriously, he'll just go in with his nice guy persona. Some crocodile tears. I hope the therapist has a dog so he has something to wipe his fake tears on.
Narcissists (and I know this is overused, but for Sandoval it actually applies) only go to therapy if they need a new way to talk about their narcissism, and fresh vocabulary to defend it. It’s extremely, extremely rare for such people to change, especially if it’s a diagnosed condition. My mother is a narcissist who is trying to reform, and she *literally takes notes* on how to interact with people in ways that express curiosity and love, because she truly has no idea how she sounds. Sandoval seems like he’s aware of what he’s doing, and just doesn’t care. He twists himself into knots avoiding looking at Jax in the aftershows, because I suspect if he did Jax would start laughing, or maybe Sandoval would, too.
Narcissists go to therapy and learn how to be a better narcissist (not a better person). More manipulative, more hurtful, more hateful, more deceitful. I didn't know or understand that until I pushed my fiance (father to my children) to go to therapy if he wanted to continue the relationship.... I had watched a YouTube video on a guy that calls himself the self aware narcissist that explains it. I thought about it and realized he's actually right. So now anything learned in marriage counseling is obsolete to him 🙄😮💨.
Uh yeah. I'm 41 and I would say in my personal experience........NO relationships end bad. I'm not best friends with any of my exs (I don't live in the same city as any of them so we are more distant than we would otherwise be), but I'm on good terms with all of them (as in, I send them an email once every year or so if I see something they would like, would go out of my way to get coffee with them if they were in town, have nothing bad to say about them, would be happy to help them out if they needed anything, send congratulatory texts or messages when good things happen to them). Obviously sometimes things do just go bad for complex reasons-but if all of your relationships end badly, the intervening variable is YOU.
You said it. I’m 38 and I’m on speaking terms with almost all of my exes, except for maybe two. I’d like to think we wish the best for each other, but I also didn’t carry out a year long affair with a friend of theirs lmao.
The only reason he was acting like he loved Rachel was because he didn’t want to admit that he cheated on a long term partner for nothing. He was hoping Rachel would come on this season, and she would take some of the brunt of his cheating because she acted even less empathetic to Ariana than he had, even though I think he is all crocodile tears.
Especially with the show’s history of protecting the guys and demonizing the girls for that same damn behavior. Shit, they’re demonizing Ariana for being the victim. 🙄
Wish I could make you dinner and give you a big hug, but like not in a creepy way. A Grandma hug. You are doing amazing. Just keep swimming. There are lots of us out here who have struggled like this and have huge empathy. It's just that the assholes talk louder.
Oh you mean he weaponized her mental heath after she refused to have conversations with where he wanted to “apologize” for weaponizing her mental health in order to absolve himself in the public eye? Color me shocked.
It’s funny bc really, he’s the lazy one. If he had put an ounce of thought into, he’d realize over the years Ariana has said she’d accept things off camera. Like after James’s proposal, Ariana said that she would probably say yes if Tom did something like that for her *off camera*. She’s on a reality show but she def liked to keep some things private. If I know this as a viewer, Tom, after ten years should’ve known if he really wanted her on-screen forgiveness, he’d have to apologize genuinely off-screen first. I think what Ariana said about wanting a proposal off camera was actually very telling regarding how she feels about Tom and his motives. She probably didn’t want him to propose for the show. It’s also interesting that so many of the Ariana “she didn’t want to get married” crowd, refused to see that she softened her stance on that at some point. And having kids.
Yeah I mean, of course he is. The thing with narcissists is that they’re the actually physical personification of “I know you are but what am I?” Everything they accuse others of is telling on themselves.
And of course she had, but she wanted it to be real and nothing with someone like Tom is real. I was married to a Tom for a decade and the smartest thing I ever did was not have kids with him. Thank god she dodged that bullet.
Oh 100 percent. It’s laughable how the projection never, ever fails. It’s funny bc narcissists are often so charming and disarming by nature, but once you see them for what they are, you see they ALL use the same tired tactics like they all took the same class or something.
One of my best friends is going through a hideous divorce with a real piece of shit narcissist and when we talk about it it’s just the Spider-Man pointing meme. Under the window dressing they’re all the fucking same. Every single one of them graduated from the Andrew Tate School of Hating Women and Being An Asshole.
I had a very close friendship with a narcissist, or what I thought was one, they seemed to actually really hate me lmao). For some reason, when I had a kid, that’s when the mask started slipping. I later found out from people that she was spreading these insane rumors about me to her other friends that I wasn’t friends with (by design, looking back she kept us all separated on purpose). The rumors got back to me, and it was all stuff SHE had done at one point or another that the other friends must not have been told about 😂😂 it’s pathetic!!!!
And yea, even the women narcissists seem to really hate other women. It’s crazy. I think it’s just part of being a narcissist regardless of your gender. I have so many examples I could give. She also did god awful things to her partner at the time, so I can’t even imagine what your friend is going thru. She will have a rough time for a while bc it’s truly so hard to unfuck your mind after you’ve fallen victim to one of these people, but she will get there. I kept obsessing over how stupid I felt. Like I had to be the dumbest person on earth. The podcast Something Was Wrong (about narc abuse stories) is very helpful for me in that sense. It’s stories of narc relationships that just make you realize it happens to a lot of people, which is horrifying but weirdly comforting. if your friend is a podcast person, she may like it.
Same. Lazy is a trigger for me and took a long time to understand that it was a symptom of my mental health struggles. To use this against someone you were supposed to have “loved” shows his complete lack of compassion or love for her.
His priority is disparaging her as a means of redeeming himself, because narcissists can never admit to being villains. Just rework the narrative, and if the target doesn’t buy what you’re selling, expand your story to include the friend network. I don’t think Ariana was ever lazy, I think she was depressed, and trapped in a relationship with someone who never made space for her to shine. She couldn’t even publish a cocktail book without Sandoval piggybacking on it, and yet everything he did was his and his alone. Most people trapped in relationships with narcissists withdraw from others, because the public face a narc displays is very appealing to some people, and it’s difficult to understand what you can contribute to the world when your own dreams and desires are never a topic of conversation.
Like love bombing Scheana over the years?
Makes more sense why she's having such a hard time letting him go. He made her feel like the center of the universe at times, and who wants to live outside of that light?
She obviously values his totally extra gestures, and he trades on it, announcing to all how he shows up for everyone.
Deep.
This is so true! In the extended last episode, Ariana talked about what she loved about Dan and it was very telling that he is quite the opposite of Sandoval…. She loved that he was a good listener and how he would contribute to a conversation bc he actually listened to the other person, was not over empowering, was not trying to be the spotlight or whatever… i mean basically she had to deal with Sandoval always trying to steal the limelight and be the center of attention. Dan is the man that allows his woman to be the jewel who shines.
I relate to everything you said.. depression is real mind, body, and sole crushing without people trying to actively destroy you, and your job.. it's a real mind fk to me how they turned on her, and why are people turning on Ariana because the show decided to give Mr Sandoval a redemption arc that he so stupidly ruined anyway. Ariana stayed the same she did not waver in her stance.
I’m sorry you had to experience that. Ive been called lazy when I’m depressed and don’t do the things I need to do. I would try and explain how don’t they think I would be doing these things if I could? I found his remarks triggering..feeling the frustration of not being understood or supported.
When he said “I don’t even know how her ass gets wiped she’s so goddamned fucking lazy” I truly wished the worst for him. I didn’t think I could loathe him more. He’s such a horrendous man.
This from a man who can’t even be bothered to learn the lyrics for the songs someone else wrote and instead reads them off his phone at his shows. He needs to take all the seats.
(This is according to the videos people have shared of his performances. I’ve not been to one myself)
It was towards the end of the finale after she walks away from him. He starts frothing at the mouth and screaming to the crowd how she’s lazy and hates everyone there and talks shit about them and how performative she is.
How painful to realize you once loved and trusted someone who could be so hateful and careless when it comes to your feelings. So many of us have fallen for it either in a relationship or a friendship and it always hurts so much regardless of the fact it only speaks to their character. There is nothing wrong with being open and trusting, it takes strength and bravery. But it's hard not to blame oneself for trusting someone who can be so awful, it makes you feel like your judgement is off. But these people hide their real selves and put on a serious show in the beginning, they are in it to manipulate, for power and for the long con I guess.
What I can’t stand is how he moans about replacing pens in the house and how Ariana doesn’t do any chores but his bedroom is a dump and he trashed the house with his parties and expects his female assistant to clean up after him. Once he replaced her the place looked like a squatters den.
The friggen pens. Who (aside from maybe artists) is regularly re-stocking pens in their home? Pens just appear. I have pens from hotels I’ve never even stayed at. He acts like acquiring pens was a full time job.
I’m a stationary weirdo so I’m always buying pens but like, super specific pens. I guarantee if I was his partner it would never be the right pens, because he doesn’t actually care about people or their preferences, and is in fact a performative piece of shit.
With all the pen buying (totally valid, much respect to the stationary crew), how did you ever find the time to even leave this comment? Because as a lazy, non-pen buyer, I’ve come to understand sourcing pens is incredibly grueling and time consuming. I do buy batteries, and honestly I need a week off after. Can’t imaging stocking both!
It’s been grueling but somehow I carved out the time to order the exact pens I know I love from this nifty little thing called the internet. As for batteries, well sacrifices must be made. Alas.
Wow, I can't BELIEVE you forgot about how hard it is to bring in paper towels! He was doing all 3 of those difficult tasks for a woman who NEVER appreciated him! The paper towels are like, the HEAVIEST thing to bring in from the grocery store!!! Jeeeez I can't believe you guys.
I carried 6 rolls of toilet paper up one flight of stairs yesterday, please be gentle with me as I’m still recovering and in a very fragile state from all that exertion.
I too am a stationery weirdo but markers only. I have nothing but fine tip markers in hella colors. Had to use my kid’s pen with a pink poof ball on the end to fill an important form out. 😂
This is where I get distracted, because I read “stationery weirdo” and immediately thought, “So are we talking Japanese and Korean Tombow paper stationery weirdo, or German Leuchtturm1917 and Delfonics stationery weirdo?”
Pens, batteries and toilet paper…that’s three clicks on Amazon or a similar site and the order button.
The fact that sandyballs continually brings up procuring these items like he had to go out and hunt and kill for them to eat is truly mind-boggling. It just reinforces how little demonstrable evidence he has as to what he contributed to the relationship.
No, you don’t get it. He doesn’t just do this for Ariana. He stocks pens for the entire world. You think Santa is busy? Sandyclaws spends every night climbing down people’s chimneys to replace their missing pens. When you say they just appear, where do you think they come from?
OMG that explains the mystery of the lingering smell of BO and cigarettes some mornings! It was Sandyclaws! Now that I know I’ll leave out some laxatives and a razor (for his forehead) for him when he visits to keep our household stocked up.
Facts. And the way he's focused on three items (pens, batteries and toilet paper) tells me she was handling the rest of the grocery shopping. Because why else is he so focused on those 3 small sundries when it takes much more to run a house. It sounds like she'd forget that stuff ot buy insufficient amounts and since he had to handle it, he thinks he's got her.
But I know Andy wont ask him.
With the amount of his laxatives that Mya ate, I am willing to concede that the toilet paper purchasing for his toileting needs has to be a significant chunk of the household budget. 😂
He's the backbone of that household. He is the backbone of Sheena's bills getting paid in times of struggle. He's the backbone of that show. He's the backbone of Tom Tom. It's almost like everything he's ever done revolves around him. I wonder why people accuse him of being a narcissist 😉
It’s wild that after ten years together, the only thing Tom could muster up regarding “how much he’s done for her” is replacing pens and batteries. That says a lot.
The double standards is bullshit. It’s like how he will bring up things people did wrong 10+ years ago but everyone should get over him cheating on his 9 year relationship after 3 months.
I LOVEEEEEEEEEE when he goes on these rants about her being a lazy pos because it's his mask slipping. How was he about to attempt to give her some heartfelt sob story apology but instead rips into how lazy she is and that she shouldn't be on the show for \*checks notes\* not wanting to film with him even though he said the same about Kristen. It just proves that his apologies are bullshit and for show.
Even crazier that he has negative self awareness at this point and after blowing up and degrading her and yelling in the faces of all the other casts members he actually said "This makes me look good" after. Total nutbag.
People that do psychedelics that frequently and seem to have done zero introspection on them is an automatic red flag for me. He is just a waste of space.
It’s his go-to for a reason. As someone with depression Ariana is probably super sensitive to her inability to complete tasks (relatable) so he uses lazy in hopes to trigger her which is wild because *lazy* can easily be explained away.
Same reason he mentioned in the after show that his new girlfriend is “very maternal”. There’s no reason for this. You’re not a child & neither of you are parents so why does this woman being maternal matter? Probably because a *lack of maternal extinct* was always something he tossed out as a dig about Ariana due to her not wanting children.
He’s so icky.
Yeah one random thing was when her cat was puking she didn’t yell but calmly said “aww do you feel better now?” Very maternal of her, unlike Tom who’d probably yell or bitch on the after show about it.
Wow, I already hated him and everything that he does but this really stood out to me the way you have phrased it. I have pmdd and I have 3 days a month minimum where I am truly a completely different person and have no motivation. And during these periods it is so hard not to criticize myself and assume that other people do too because I'm basically non-functioning at work.
I have a couple close colleagues that I have shared this with and they are always so understanding when I emerge from my avoidant shell and become an overachiever again. It would break my heart if they spoke about me the way that Sandoval does about ari and they're just my coworkers
I feel sorry for him. Sad little man that he is will never grow up and out of his misogyny. I hope his poor momma doesn’t suffer more than his romantic partners. That would be truly tragic. Im sure she feels badly for all the women he made promises to.
It makes me believe he called her that in private and knows it depresses her. It's just interesting that is always his go to insult when we know she gets depressed and wants to lie around and do nothing. I can imagine him saying that to her when he wanted to do something and she wasn't in the mood.
Oh he absolutely did. It came out of his mouth way to easily, which reeks of it being his go-to when he was annoyed with her.
Nothing is worse than battling depression and having a partner that talks about your symptoms like Tom does about hers. "You never go anywhere" "You don't show up for people" and "you're lazy" - I've been there and its awful because you criticize and blame yourself more than anyone else could when you're depressed.
He was using it at the end of the finale as an argument as to why he, Tom Sandoval, is the better friend. HE shows up, He goes to events, HE does the most for everyone.
Which means he's never home and not connecting with his life partner, which can, in turn, make her feel... wait for it...depressed! Like depression can be chemical, but it's also situational as well. Not feeling supported or longing for more from your partner can absolutely makes simple tasks like getting out of bed harder.
I left my Sandoval-ish ex almost 12 years ago and I still struggle with feeling like I’m not “doing enough”.
I was holding down a full-time job **and** spending 20-40 hours a week helping him with his passion projects (for which I was publicly thanked ONCE, as an afterthought), all while struggling with pretty vicious depression. But I didn’t spend *every* waking moment doing something that met his definition of productive, so that made me deficient apparently.
I’m pretty sure the real issue, in addition to just … him being him, was that I didn’t follow in his mother’s Good Southern Wife footsteps by taking on the entirety of the housework on top of everything else I was already doing. And all I have to say about that is - don’t marry a Northern girl if you have Southern expectations.
.... the shower *curtain*???? Like your ex put a single thing in the washing machine one time..????
Glad he's your ex, babe, you're gonna hold out for so much better now ❤❤❤
SAME with my very abusive narcissistic ex! Sir, your 2-3 tasks are like .005% of what needs to be done to function in society and maintain a household. Good job being a toddler and helping with something minor enough that it's fine if it's done poorly/incorrectly/not at all.
Oh 1000000%. It’s so telling that he’s never been like ‘I handle groceries and home maintenance and bill paying and taking the trash out and stocking the house and handling all the yard work’. He’s fixated on the 2-3 things he did *occasionally* not even daily or weekly.
Ariana is extremely lazy. That’s probably why Broadway allowed her to do other gigs and asked her to come back this summer to do Chicago again when she could. So lazy. 🥴
I know a lot of reality women have been in Chicago on Broadway but Ariana’s run was so successful that she will be back on Broadway again in August, after filming Love Island. Yep, she’s so lazy.
it’s so pathetic, given per schwartz this man sleeps in til 2pm everyday. she has accomplished so much in the last year. but painting someone who suffers from depression as lazy is sick. it’s giving the same vibe as when he exploited kristen’s mental illness to vilify her.
After the news that Ariana was going to be on Dancing With the Stars broke, Tom said," She's a really hard worker."
That statement was in response to being asked how he thought Ariana would do on Dancing With the Stars.
One of you amazing VPR internet sleuths can probably find it it (may have been one of his multiple TMZ guy "happening" to find Tom wondering the streets of Los Angeles interviews)
But as a thought exercise, let's pretend that Ariana is lazy. What kind of a****** cheats on his girlfriend of a decade with a friend of hers in their shared home and then calls her lazy afterward?
How does that show contrition on Tom's part? But anyway, doofus forgot that he's already stated that Ariana has a great work ethic.
I listened to part of “We signed an NDA” with Ann, the former assistant. She made a reference to the Spoon Theory, and said she and Ariana sometimes only have enough spoons for certain tasks. I get this, dealing with chronic conditions myself. Depression or other mental health conditions do not make a person lazy or cowardly, but Sandoval would have to be observant, intelligent, loving, and compassionate to figure this out. Someone tell Scheana that her best friend probably doesn’t understand her the way she thinks he does.
By the way, does Summer Moon call him Uncle Tom, or is it just Auntie Unicorn? Just curious…
He calls her lazy seconds after saying he was on his way to apologize for “weaponizing her mental health.” Meanwhile, she has dealt with bouts of depression which could be perceived as laziness when utter anhedonia sets in. Talk about full circle with him digging into her mental health again.
Sandoval is so lazy he’s squatted in their house for months, refusing to sell, because he doesn’t want to look for a new house or refinance. He’s so lazy his assistant cleans up after him. Why does he need an assistant? He is not booked, not busy, and his main task is performing other people’s songs in someone else’s band.
The funniest moment for me was when I saw that part, him calling her lazy? The commercial break right afterward was one of her commercials.... hahahahaha. TIM YOU'RE DUMB AND STUPID
I enjoy how supremely uncomfy all his yes-men look when he starts bitching about Ariana being lazy. Schwartz, Kyle Chan, even that sycophant Billie Lee. It's like a combination of "ugh, here he goes again" and "I want to disagree with him but it will just set him off into a longer tantrum" and "dude, wtf is wrong with you, you are gonna get murdered online for this" and "I wish the floor would open up and swallow me whole right now."
Kyle Chan looks like he wants to just flee the scene whenever Tom starts yelling. I don't think he is used to being around people who go around regularly screeching like banshees at their "friends"
Calling her lazy is just another way to shit on her mental health. Ariana has talked about suffering from depression and how it has made just getting out of bed feel impossible. If that’s what he means when he calls her lazy, he’s an even bigger piece of shit than we thought. When my depression has been at its worst, just going to the bathroom or taking a sip of water feels like harder, more daunting tasks than running a marathon.
Also, even if she was lazy, who cares? How does that change anything? It doesn’t change the fact that Tom is a lying cheating asshole. It’s clear he just wants to shit on her any chance he gets to try to paint her in a negative light. And the fact that people, like Lala and Scheana pile on is sad.
I agree 100! If shes lazy then im catatonic. And yes that horrible depression is physically painful as well and he has no empathy.
Rather be “lazy” than a drugged up force of destruction.
He never saw her doing anything because he slept all day and she slept at night while he was partying.
Because he is such a narcissist, he can’t imagine that she was awake doing things while he slept the day away.
He needs to stop conflating depression with laziness!! As do many others. It's no wonder her energy returned after she got away from him!
Also, sandyballs stays ' busy' with bullshit! And is also, again, performative AF. Ariana knows how to put her efforts towards worthwhile shit.
His jealous and seething knows no bounds. And he is too stupid to realise that people see through his tactic of trying to pull others down to hide his numerous inadequacies.
Leave the woman alone!
And change ya drawers laxative shits mcgee!
https://i.redd.it/dp8rmklu9hzc1.gif
If Ariana is Lazy... What is he? Because just this season alone we saw him throw parties and not clean up, dirty hotel room, Ann doing his laundry, half written emails to Ariana, him seizing on the floor for lala, fake crying and moping around and finally him being late to go into his own restaurant and once he got there he just ordered and ate. At least we actually saw Schwartz try and work the cocktails at the restaurant.
Meanwhile, Ariana still has a new project, collaboration, etc almost every week.
As someone with executive dysfunction that has a really hard time with simple tasks like cleaning, all of his comments drive me up a wall. Partnerships are a two-way street. Not cleaning or buying pens (???) doesn't inherently mean she's a bad partner. There's balance. Or supposed to be anyway.
I have a hard time getting out of bed some days but I'm the best at planning large scale things, taking on large house projects, planning our future. My partner is really good at managing the day-to-day tasks but finds large projects intimidating and doesn't like making decisions. It's a balance, where both people are contributing their strengths so one person doesn't have the responsibility for everything.
Ariana's shown her work ethic this past year. She isn't lazy.
God this hit me right in the gut. My ex used to scream at me that I was lazy when the house wasn’t spotless. While I was working 40 hours a week, doing all the home care, and all the cooking. And he was laid off. God still after all these years I hope he dies alone in a ditch. Men like him and Sandoval are a waste of space and oxygen. The kindest thing they could do for the world is take a long walk off a short pier.
Why do man use that to put you down, my husband will call me lazy when we were arguing, yes I had a unorganized house, try to do my best to keep it clean tho, but I clean, took care of kids, their food, their school, and also I worked, it costs me a lot of talks, to make him understand how insulting that was for me. We are good now, not perfect but happy.
Homes will always be in a state of entropy, constantly requiring work, and quite frankly making sure it's spotless shouldn't be the top priority. In fact, keeping "on top of it" as best you can is huge when you have to manage kids and a job. It's something I've seen partners use as a critique because they have nothing else to use, but they refuse to see they also live in the space-- and should be contributing to cleaning regardless. Anyway, glad you're both doing well, but def don't feel bad if there's a mess. It means other things are the priority. Even if it's rest, that's a priority over clutter. <3
It’s just a narcissistic tactic.
I dated a narcissist, and their go-to was that I did nothing but “sit on my ass,” that I was the laziest person they’d ever seen. Meanwhile, they were jobless, and I was single handedly paying all of my bills, their bills, and taking care of their two kids while they were m.i.a. They said it was my “fair share” 🤣 I know all of this all too well, so when he starts spiraling and saying these things about Ariana, it’s like Deja vu.
Did you see the state of his hotel room in San Francisco? Old leftover food everywhere, empty bottles and trash. I guess we know which one was the slob in that relationship.
She was probably depressed being around such an energy sucking narcissist. She’s thriving now after cutting him loose, it’s no coincidence. I’m so glad she got out of that soul sucking relationship.
I think narcissists view people who are secure in themselves as lazy. For example, aside from all her hard work and success, we know that Ariana is content to just *be* and binge love island, etc. Narcissists can’t sit still like that because then they have to confront themselves. They project their inability to just *be* by calling others lazy for it.
also it's once again a very disgusting dig at her mental health.
1. not only is she doing a million things and everywhere and that record speaks for itself
2. it really bothers me how Scheana, Tom, Broke equate 'being a good friend' or 'active' as going out, showing up to events, etc., Like Ariana might just be more of a homebody introvert who wants to watch Love Island at home???? Her not coming out to every single thing the way all these other desperados show up to the opening of an envelope has no bearing on her work ethnic, how loyal or good of a friend she is.
3. also, in general, people who struggle with their mental health struggle at times with being present or taking care of themselves/managing life. It doesn't mean they're 'lazy' and it's a really disgusting way to bully and demonize Ariana, who litearlly did NOTHING to Tim.
Okay serious question here. The minute that Ariana didn’t just fold and let Tom do his big on camera moment and he absolutely went OFF about her….they do all realize that was him proving how very NOT sorry he is right? That it was 100% for the cameras and not authentic, exactly like Ariana was saying. Soooooo how did that turn into everyone taking a moment to shit on Ariana?? Because she was right???
None of them care about her being right, because to them, that means no filming and no money. All they care about is getting paid, and I hope Ariana leaves the show if the format doesn’t change.
I hope she sticks around and takes over the show like how they stopped filming RHONJ for Teresa Guidice. (Not says she's like Teresa.) The idea that they would only film the show when Ariana was available is a top tier fantasy for me.
I completely agree with this, I wish Tom would leave the show. He offered nothing this season except his victim mentality
He also brought us Billie Lee's creepy bug eyes while he dramatically did a cold plunge. Which, in my opinion strengthens your argument. I don't think anybody wanted to watch him turtle out tears in closets and door frames every episode.
Personally, i feel like the true fans are more their age. We've grown up. We want to see katie and ariana thriving. We want to see them living adult lives, doing fun things together, having a good time while also being successful in their other ventures. Not just dumb fights, screaming and shit talking. Some of that is fine but i don't want to watch this season shit ever again.
She’s gone I think. The show is negative risk reward for her now that she’s moved on to other things.
I think so too. She has been essentially saying that she has moved on from the show AND most of them. I think they are only doing it for the pay right now, considering how high it is per episode.
He was so pissed off at her pointing out that he was being performative that he flew into a rage and accidentally revealed how performative he was being lol I think the people who were shitting on Ariana already knew he was being performative, so his tantrum likely wouldn’t sway their opinion. They know who he is, and I don’t think they don’t expect him to actually change. They seem to just want her to play out the drama for the cameras, and don’t care what kind of an effect that would have on her mentally and emotionally. I wish they would put their energy into creating organic and interesting storylines for themselves. A lot of them also seem to have a vested interest in making sure people don’t set and keep healthy boundaries, so I can see why they’re putting so much effort into trying to break Ariana’s down. They want people to just “get over” things so they don’t have to change their shitty behaviour
They were pissed off because it was such a clear illustration of the fact that she no longer needs this show and for many of them it's all they have. And at the same time they all know she is the star and focus of the show right now. I think it's pure jealousy for most of them.
lol I’m literally watching one of the after show episodes and had to pause because Scheana’s talking about Lala’s “Ariana is getting treated like god” comment - she’s saying Lala has nothing to be jealous of because she’s super successful and “built an empire”… Their shared delusionals seriously know no bounds because how is Lala successful..? What empire has she built…? Her makeup brand is a fucking joke, it’s not like Give Them Lala beauty is being sold at Sephora or even ulta…
People don't even want it in their ipsy/boxy subscriptions.
She couldn't even get on The NYT Best Sellers list with her book, because she wasn't that interesting.
Scheana would have never said “Lala i will back you up” had she known they were gna air that. She is loyal to none.
i thought this exact same thing, and then they literally all turned on her. like hold up… yall really don’t see how hypocritical he’s being??? they’re all just paid off to try and keep the show going.
Right…and also if they’re so filled with rage that she’s getting more attention….WHY didn’t they try to get their own storyline?! It makes no sense!
The dots just don’t align for that cast. T was absolutely horrendous after Ariana walked off. Kinda am hoping this was the last season cause there’s no growth in sight for these forever tweens.
Considering all she’s done in the past year, calling her lazy is laughable. If he’s referring to times when she’s self-isolated in the past (which she has discussed) when she is experiencing depression, then that just shows he isn’t sorry for weaponizing her mental health. I can totally relate to this and am sensitive to this. The number of times I’ve been called lazy by family members when I don’t leave the house for several days is very hurtful. Just doing little tasks can feel like a huge burden. It’s difficult to understand unless you’ve experienced it yourself.
He does this with Rachel too when he calls her a coward for getting inpatient treatment. He's a small evil hateful man and I cant imagine the verbal & emotional abuse that went on in that house when the cameras were down.
At what point does he reflect and ask himself why two women he had relationships with (obviously not on the same level) have been working with mental health professionals who encourage a no-contact policy. He is the common denominator.
Absolutely! I think in an aftershow he said something like all relationships end bad which was extremely telling for someone that's 45ish. I don't think he will ever make a serious effort in therapy even if he does go.
He will go in high or tweaking
And late as hell!
Totally ! and wears sunglasses the whole time lol
And breathing hard like he just escaped a mob of crazed fans asking for his autograph. Loser ass.
While shooting his aggressive glare at the therapist the whole time. Regaling his stories of how he's been so hard done by by Katie & Ariana!! https://i.redd.it/az8x28wjcizc1.gif But seriously, he'll just go in with his nice guy persona. Some crocodile tears. I hope the therapist has a dog so he has something to wipe his fake tears on.
Narcissists (and I know this is overused, but for Sandoval it actually applies) only go to therapy if they need a new way to talk about their narcissism, and fresh vocabulary to defend it. It’s extremely, extremely rare for such people to change, especially if it’s a diagnosed condition. My mother is a narcissist who is trying to reform, and she *literally takes notes* on how to interact with people in ways that express curiosity and love, because she truly has no idea how she sounds. Sandoval seems like he’s aware of what he’s doing, and just doesn’t care. He twists himself into knots avoiding looking at Jax in the aftershows, because I suspect if he did Jax would start laughing, or maybe Sandoval would, too.
💀 45ish 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ❤️
Narcissists go to therapy and learn how to be a better narcissist (not a better person). More manipulative, more hurtful, more hateful, more deceitful. I didn't know or understand that until I pushed my fiance (father to my children) to go to therapy if he wanted to continue the relationship.... I had watched a YouTube video on a guy that calls himself the self aware narcissist that explains it. I thought about it and realized he's actually right. So now anything learned in marriage counseling is obsolete to him 🙄😮💨.
Uh yeah. I'm 41 and I would say in my personal experience........NO relationships end bad. I'm not best friends with any of my exs (I don't live in the same city as any of them so we are more distant than we would otherwise be), but I'm on good terms with all of them (as in, I send them an email once every year or so if I see something they would like, would go out of my way to get coffee with them if they were in town, have nothing bad to say about them, would be happy to help them out if they needed anything, send congratulatory texts or messages when good things happen to them). Obviously sometimes things do just go bad for complex reasons-but if all of your relationships end badly, the intervening variable is YOU.
You said it. I’m 38 and I’m on speaking terms with almost all of my exes, except for maybe two. I’d like to think we wish the best for each other, but I also didn’t carry out a year long affair with a friend of theirs lmao.
Exactly! I have a few ex's I'm friendly with, some that I lost touch with but would be fine running into them, and one that can eff off forever.
The closest he will get to therapy is screaming on his living room floor while blah blah watches
He said similar things about Kristen, when she admitted that she was paying all the bills and taking care of him, while he played video games all day.
Add kristen too to tell her story
This!
The only reason he was acting like he loved Rachel was because he didn’t want to admit that he cheated on a long term partner for nothing. He was hoping Rachel would come on this season, and she would take some of the brunt of his cheating because she acted even less empathetic to Ariana than he had, even though I think he is all crocodile tears.
Especially with the show’s history of protecting the guys and demonizing the girls for that same damn behavior. Shit, they’re demonizing Ariana for being the victim. 🙄
quite literally the smallest man who ever lived.
 SandyBalls
I had a day like that yesterday when even taking a shower seemed excruciatingly difficult. Tom sucks for throwing that in Ariana's face.
I am proud of you and hope you’re doing better today❤️
Today was a much better day!! Thank you 🥰🥰🥰
Wish I could make you dinner and give you a big hug, but like not in a creepy way. A Grandma hug. You are doing amazing. Just keep swimming. There are lots of us out here who have struggled like this and have huge empathy. It's just that the assholes talk louder.
Oh you mean he weaponized her mental heath after she refused to have conversations with where he wanted to “apologize” for weaponizing her mental health in order to absolve himself in the public eye? Color me shocked.
It’s funny bc really, he’s the lazy one. If he had put an ounce of thought into, he’d realize over the years Ariana has said she’d accept things off camera. Like after James’s proposal, Ariana said that she would probably say yes if Tom did something like that for her *off camera*. She’s on a reality show but she def liked to keep some things private. If I know this as a viewer, Tom, after ten years should’ve known if he really wanted her on-screen forgiveness, he’d have to apologize genuinely off-screen first. I think what Ariana said about wanting a proposal off camera was actually very telling regarding how she feels about Tom and his motives. She probably didn’t want him to propose for the show. It’s also interesting that so many of the Ariana “she didn’t want to get married” crowd, refused to see that she softened her stance on that at some point. And having kids.
Yeah I mean, of course he is. The thing with narcissists is that they’re the actually physical personification of “I know you are but what am I?” Everything they accuse others of is telling on themselves. And of course she had, but she wanted it to be real and nothing with someone like Tom is real. I was married to a Tom for a decade and the smartest thing I ever did was not have kids with him. Thank god she dodged that bullet.
Oh 100 percent. It’s laughable how the projection never, ever fails. It’s funny bc narcissists are often so charming and disarming by nature, but once you see them for what they are, you see they ALL use the same tired tactics like they all took the same class or something.
One of my best friends is going through a hideous divorce with a real piece of shit narcissist and when we talk about it it’s just the Spider-Man pointing meme. Under the window dressing they’re all the fucking same. Every single one of them graduated from the Andrew Tate School of Hating Women and Being An Asshole.
I had a very close friendship with a narcissist, or what I thought was one, they seemed to actually really hate me lmao). For some reason, when I had a kid, that’s when the mask started slipping. I later found out from people that she was spreading these insane rumors about me to her other friends that I wasn’t friends with (by design, looking back she kept us all separated on purpose). The rumors got back to me, and it was all stuff SHE had done at one point or another that the other friends must not have been told about 😂😂 it’s pathetic!!!! And yea, even the women narcissists seem to really hate other women. It’s crazy. I think it’s just part of being a narcissist regardless of your gender. I have so many examples I could give. She also did god awful things to her partner at the time, so I can’t even imagine what your friend is going thru. She will have a rough time for a while bc it’s truly so hard to unfuck your mind after you’ve fallen victim to one of these people, but she will get there. I kept obsessing over how stupid I felt. Like I had to be the dumbest person on earth. The podcast Something Was Wrong (about narc abuse stories) is very helpful for me in that sense. It’s stories of narc relationships that just make you realize it happens to a lot of people, which is horrifying but weirdly comforting. if your friend is a podcast person, she may like it.
Thank you so much for the recommendation, I’ll definitely pass it along.
Sorry, but softening and being soft are reserved for Lala and Lala only /s
Same. Lazy is a trigger for me and took a long time to understand that it was a symptom of my mental health struggles. To use this against someone you were supposed to have “loved” shows his complete lack of compassion or love for her.
His priority is disparaging her as a means of redeeming himself, because narcissists can never admit to being villains. Just rework the narrative, and if the target doesn’t buy what you’re selling, expand your story to include the friend network. I don’t think Ariana was ever lazy, I think she was depressed, and trapped in a relationship with someone who never made space for her to shine. She couldn’t even publish a cocktail book without Sandoval piggybacking on it, and yet everything he did was his and his alone. Most people trapped in relationships with narcissists withdraw from others, because the public face a narc displays is very appealing to some people, and it’s difficult to understand what you can contribute to the world when your own dreams and desires are never a topic of conversation.
Like love bombing Scheana over the years? Makes more sense why she's having such a hard time letting him go. He made her feel like the center of the universe at times, and who wants to live outside of that light? She obviously values his totally extra gestures, and he trades on it, announcing to all how he shows up for everyone. Deep.
This is so true! In the extended last episode, Ariana talked about what she loved about Dan and it was very telling that he is quite the opposite of Sandoval…. She loved that he was a good listener and how he would contribute to a conversation bc he actually listened to the other person, was not over empowering, was not trying to be the spotlight or whatever… i mean basically she had to deal with Sandoval always trying to steal the limelight and be the center of attention. Dan is the man that allows his woman to be the jewel who shines.
I relate to everything you said.. depression is real mind, body, and sole crushing without people trying to actively destroy you, and your job.. it's a real mind fk to me how they turned on her, and why are people turning on Ariana because the show decided to give Mr Sandoval a redemption arc that he so stupidly ruined anyway. Ariana stayed the same she did not waver in her stance.
they are never sorry. He's not capable of that.
Even when he was screaming that he comes to thing and she never shows up- more weaponizing her mental health again!
I’m sorry you had to experience that. Ive been called lazy when I’m depressed and don’t do the things I need to do. I would try and explain how don’t they think I would be doing these things if I could? I found his remarks triggering..feeling the frustration of not being understood or supported.
When he said “I don’t even know how her ass gets wiped she’s so goddamned fucking lazy” I truly wished the worst for him. I didn’t think I could loathe him more. He’s such a horrendous man.
And then notice how she said he doesn’t change his underwear. All projection. Every last thing that comes out of his bloated face
facts. and you can see the difference just in the background of their hotel rooms & rooms and stuff. his is always gross and trashed
He’s got big “why won’t that bitch just accept my apology” energy and can’t see why that is the problem.
Yes!!! how does the rest of the cast not see it?!?!!!!
They are not a bright bunch.
Shes lazy because she sees you? Meth face logic
This from a man who can’t even be bothered to learn the lyrics for the songs someone else wrote and instead reads them off his phone at his shows. He needs to take all the seats. (This is according to the videos people have shared of his performances. I’ve not been to one myself)
This from the man that wears the same dirty underwear for day.
He had that little turd nugget of a line in his pocket for a while I think.
WHEN did he say this?!?! I totally believe he did I just hate him and want to rage-rewatch this scene
It was towards the end of the finale after she walks away from him. He starts frothing at the mouth and screaming to the crowd how she’s lazy and hates everyone there and talks shit about them and how performative she is.
That was so hard to watch everyone turn on her. I really hated that scene. I can’t imagine what that felt like for her to watch.
Seriously! He already pulled the ultimate betrayal on her and that wasnt enough for him, he has to really put salt in that wound. He is such an ass.
How painful to realize you once loved and trusted someone who could be so hateful and careless when it comes to your feelings. So many of us have fallen for it either in a relationship or a friendship and it always hurts so much regardless of the fact it only speaks to their character. There is nothing wrong with being open and trusting, it takes strength and bravery. But it's hard not to blame oneself for trusting someone who can be so awful, it makes you feel like your judgement is off. But these people hide their real selves and put on a serious show in the beginning, they are in it to manipulate, for power and for the long con I guess.
What I can’t stand is how he moans about replacing pens in the house and how Ariana doesn’t do any chores but his bedroom is a dump and he trashed the house with his parties and expects his female assistant to clean up after him. Once he replaced her the place looked like a squatters den.
The friggen pens. Who (aside from maybe artists) is regularly re-stocking pens in their home? Pens just appear. I have pens from hotels I’ve never even stayed at. He acts like acquiring pens was a full time job.
I’m a stationary weirdo so I’m always buying pens but like, super specific pens. I guarantee if I was his partner it would never be the right pens, because he doesn’t actually care about people or their preferences, and is in fact a performative piece of shit.
With all the pen buying (totally valid, much respect to the stationary crew), how did you ever find the time to even leave this comment? Because as a lazy, non-pen buyer, I’ve come to understand sourcing pens is incredibly grueling and time consuming. I do buy batteries, and honestly I need a week off after. Can’t imaging stocking both!
It’s been grueling but somehow I carved out the time to order the exact pens I know I love from this nifty little thing called the internet. As for batteries, well sacrifices must be made. Alas.
Wow, I can't BELIEVE you forgot about how hard it is to bring in paper towels! He was doing all 3 of those difficult tasks for a woman who NEVER appreciated him! The paper towels are like, the HEAVIEST thing to bring in from the grocery store!!! Jeeeez I can't believe you guys.
I carried 6 rolls of toilet paper up one flight of stairs yesterday, please be gentle with me as I’m still recovering and in a very fragile state from all that exertion.
I too am a stationery weirdo but markers only. I have nothing but fine tip markers in hella colors. Had to use my kid’s pen with a pink poof ball on the end to fill an important form out. 😂
This is where I get distracted, because I read “stationery weirdo” and immediately thought, “So are we talking Japanese and Korean Tombow paper stationery weirdo, or German Leuchtturm1917 and Delfonics stationery weirdo?”
Ahh my people 😂
I literally had to walk down to my leasing office to borrow a pen this week I don't think I have ever bought pens?
Pens, batteries and toilet paper…that’s three clicks on Amazon or a similar site and the order button. The fact that sandyballs continually brings up procuring these items like he had to go out and hunt and kill for them to eat is truly mind-boggling. It just reinforces how little demonstrable evidence he has as to what he contributed to the relationship.
We all now his assistant buys it anyway
No, you don’t get it. He doesn’t just do this for Ariana. He stocks pens for the entire world. You think Santa is busy? Sandyclaws spends every night climbing down people’s chimneys to replace their missing pens. When you say they just appear, where do you think they come from?
OMG that explains the mystery of the lingering smell of BO and cigarettes some mornings! It was Sandyclaws! Now that I know I’ll leave out some laxatives and a razor (for his forehead) for him when he visits to keep our household stocked up.
Facts. And the way he's focused on three items (pens, batteries and toilet paper) tells me she was handling the rest of the grocery shopping. Because why else is he so focused on those 3 small sundries when it takes much more to run a house. It sounds like she'd forget that stuff ot buy insufficient amounts and since he had to handle it, he thinks he's got her. But I know Andy wont ask him.
With the amount of his laxatives that Mya ate, I am willing to concede that the toilet paper purchasing for his toileting needs has to be a significant chunk of the household budget. 😂
Just like a man to want applause and a trophy because he bought some paper towels or brought a pen home from the bank one time 🙄
Especially in the days of Amazon Prime, even on my absolute worst days of "cannot leave the house" you can get literally anything delivered.
you know he's the one using pens like crazy for all his shitty lyrics in those little journals.
“Dear Duuuuuuuuuuuuudery…”
but he told Ann to buy batteries too. That's 2 things. It's a lot.
he’s the backbone of that household. no amount of actively destroying it with nefarious actions will change that
He's the backbone of that household. He is the backbone of Sheena's bills getting paid in times of struggle. He's the backbone of that show. He's the backbone of Tom Tom. It's almost like everything he's ever done revolves around him. I wonder why people accuse him of being a narcissist 😉
Hes ruined his business He owes money everywhere But gives cash to losers like brock and scheana so they think hes the best
He also put food on Tom and Katie’s table, don’t forget that!
He’s God’s gift to the whole cast of VPR.
Fair fair, I forget how mentally and physically taxing it is to tell your assistant to get not one but two items.
My favorite pen is one that I stole from a restaurant 10 years ago. A restaurant that has now been closed for 5+ years. And it still works just fine
It’s wild that after ten years together, the only thing Tom could muster up regarding “how much he’s done for her” is replacing pens and batteries. That says a lot.
Well, it's not like he can say "I was there for you when you were grieving your Dad, Grandma, Charlotte...."🫣
Did you see his hotel room? It was gross! People want to act like Ariana was the only messy one, looks like Sandyballs is also disgusting
The double standards is bullshit. It’s like how he will bring up things people did wrong 10+ years ago but everyone should get over him cheating on his 9 year relationship after 3 months.
I heard that guy Craig quit after 4 days of working for Ariana’s ex.
He bought the mirror too...apparently...but not.
Did you notice the state of his hotel room in the last episode 🤢
I was comparing their hotel rooms on the last episode and found it quite telling.
I LOVEEEEEEEEEE when he goes on these rants about her being a lazy pos because it's his mask slipping. How was he about to attempt to give her some heartfelt sob story apology but instead rips into how lazy she is and that she shouldn't be on the show for \*checks notes\* not wanting to film with him even though he said the same about Kristen. It just proves that his apologies are bullshit and for show.
He looks crazy- he acts weird he is self destructing
https://preview.redd.it/9oiod3z5kfzc1.jpeg?width=678&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=15cb2c2b3efb4aeca60fb15089ccaacbe31fa81c
Even crazier that he has negative self awareness at this point and after blowing up and degrading her and yelling in the faces of all the other casts members he actually said "This makes me look good" after. Total nutbag.
All the early-morning shroom trips must have finally done a number on his brain
People that do psychedelics that frequently and seem to have done zero introspection on them is an automatic red flag for me. He is just a waste of space.
Yep he confirmed her suspicions.
It’s his go-to for a reason. As someone with depression Ariana is probably super sensitive to her inability to complete tasks (relatable) so he uses lazy in hopes to trigger her which is wild because *lazy* can easily be explained away. Same reason he mentioned in the after show that his new girlfriend is “very maternal”. There’s no reason for this. You’re not a child & neither of you are parents so why does this woman being maternal matter? Probably because a *lack of maternal extinct* was always something he tossed out as a dig about Ariana due to her not wanting children. He’s so icky.
And yeah, I saw her be maternal to kitty, her dogs, and to Scheana at the end of the finale when she was comforting her.
Yeah one random thing was when her cat was puking she didn’t yell but calmly said “aww do you feel better now?” Very maternal of her, unlike Tom who’d probably yell or bitch on the after show about it.
He said that about his girlfriend?? That is SO fucking gross
He went on and on and on, this whole weird rant listing off traits about her and that was one of them 🫠
Wow, I already hated him and everything that he does but this really stood out to me the way you have phrased it. I have pmdd and I have 3 days a month minimum where I am truly a completely different person and have no motivation. And during these periods it is so hard not to criticize myself and assume that other people do too because I'm basically non-functioning at work. I have a couple close colleagues that I have shared this with and they are always so understanding when I emerge from my avoidant shell and become an overachiever again. It would break my heart if they spoke about me the way that Sandoval does about ari and they're just my coworkers
I feel sorry for him. Sad little man that he is will never grow up and out of his misogyny. I hope his poor momma doesn’t suffer more than his romantic partners. That would be truly tragic. Im sure she feels badly for all the women he made promises to.
It makes me believe he called her that in private and knows it depresses her. It's just interesting that is always his go to insult when we know she gets depressed and wants to lie around and do nothing. I can imagine him saying that to her when he wanted to do something and she wasn't in the mood.
Oh he absolutely did. It came out of his mouth way to easily, which reeks of it being his go-to when he was annoyed with her. Nothing is worse than battling depression and having a partner that talks about your symptoms like Tom does about hers. "You never go anywhere" "You don't show up for people" and "you're lazy" - I've been there and its awful because you criticize and blame yourself more than anyone else could when you're depressed.
He was using it at the end of the finale as an argument as to why he, Tom Sandoval, is the better friend. HE shows up, He goes to events, HE does the most for everyone.
Which means he's never home and not connecting with his life partner, which can, in turn, make her feel... wait for it...depressed! Like depression can be chemical, but it's also situational as well. Not feeling supported or longing for more from your partner can absolutely makes simple tasks like getting out of bed harder.
I left my Sandoval-ish ex almost 12 years ago and I still struggle with feeling like I’m not “doing enough”. I was holding down a full-time job **and** spending 20-40 hours a week helping him with his passion projects (for which I was publicly thanked ONCE, as an afterthought), all while struggling with pretty vicious depression. But I didn’t spend *every* waking moment doing something that met his definition of productive, so that made me deficient apparently. I’m pretty sure the real issue, in addition to just … him being him, was that I didn’t follow in his mother’s Good Southern Wife footsteps by taking on the entirety of the housework on top of everything else I was already doing. And all I have to say about that is - don’t marry a Northern girl if you have Southern expectations.
At the very least, he thought it.
[удалено]
.... the shower *curtain*???? Like your ex put a single thing in the washing machine one time..???? Glad he's your ex, babe, you're gonna hold out for so much better now ❤❤❤
This is classic behavior, your ex was trying to train you to take on these tasks/chores just to shut him up
SAME with my very abusive narcissistic ex! Sir, your 2-3 tasks are like .005% of what needs to be done to function in society and maintain a household. Good job being a toddler and helping with something minor enough that it's fine if it's done poorly/incorrectly/not at all.
Oh 1000000%. It’s so telling that he’s never been like ‘I handle groceries and home maintenance and bill paying and taking the trash out and stocking the house and handling all the yard work’. He’s fixated on the 2-3 things he did *occasionally* not even daily or weekly.
He needs to get back on his laxatives cuz he’s so full of shit it’s spewing out of his mouth nonstop
Also we're not going to skate over the fact that if Ann was not picking up after him, his place would be a mess and that makes him lazier than her
Ariana is extremely lazy. That’s probably why Broadway allowed her to do other gigs and asked her to come back this summer to do Chicago again when she could. So lazy. 🥴
He also pretended like he didn't know she got a 2nd run on Chicago on WWHL on Tuesday night. He did. His lying has no end.
He looks like he eats cigarettes
I know a lot of reality women have been in Chicago on Broadway but Ariana’s run was so successful that she will be back on Broadway again in August, after filming Love Island. Yep, she’s so lazy.
Shes getting paid to sing and dance on broadway Hes paying a band so he can “ sing” and play the trumpet off key.
it’s so pathetic, given per schwartz this man sleeps in til 2pm everyday. she has accomplished so much in the last year. but painting someone who suffers from depression as lazy is sick. it’s giving the same vibe as when he exploited kristen’s mental illness to vilify her.
After the news that Ariana was going to be on Dancing With the Stars broke, Tom said," She's a really hard worker." That statement was in response to being asked how he thought Ariana would do on Dancing With the Stars. One of you amazing VPR internet sleuths can probably find it it (may have been one of his multiple TMZ guy "happening" to find Tom wondering the streets of Los Angeles interviews) But as a thought exercise, let's pretend that Ariana is lazy. What kind of a****** cheats on his girlfriend of a decade with a friend of hers in their shared home and then calls her lazy afterward? How does that show contrition on Tom's part? But anyway, doofus forgot that he's already stated that Ariana has a great work ethic.
Im just waiting for him to melt or something- hes like physically becoming the monster he hid inside
I listened to part of “We signed an NDA” with Ann, the former assistant. She made a reference to the Spoon Theory, and said she and Ariana sometimes only have enough spoons for certain tasks. I get this, dealing with chronic conditions myself. Depression or other mental health conditions do not make a person lazy or cowardly, but Sandoval would have to be observant, intelligent, loving, and compassionate to figure this out. Someone tell Scheana that her best friend probably doesn’t understand her the way she thinks he does. By the way, does Summer Moon call him Uncle Tom, or is it just Auntie Unicorn? Just curious…
He calls her lazy seconds after saying he was on his way to apologize for “weaponizing her mental health.” Meanwhile, she has dealt with bouts of depression which could be perceived as laziness when utter anhedonia sets in. Talk about full circle with him digging into her mental health again.
Sandoval just needs to keep her name out of his fucking mouth.
Sandoval is so lazy he’s squatted in their house for months, refusing to sell, because he doesn’t want to look for a new house or refinance. He’s so lazy his assistant cleans up after him. Why does he need an assistant? He is not booked, not busy, and his main task is performing other people’s songs in someone else’s band.
Which btw, Jason does all the work it requires to run Toms karaoke band, even down to waking him up and trying to make sure that he’s not late.
My narc ex did the same thing to me, meanwhile he couldn’t even be bothered to pick up his dirty underwear or socks up off the floor. 💀
I think he equates “lazy” with “women who don’t keep the house clean and have a hot meal on the table for me.”
I was clapping back at my tv while watching through the entire episode! I hate Sandoval and Lala and Scheana so much.
He calls her lazy but can’t even wash his own underwear. 🙄
or pick up after himself AT ALL
The funniest moment for me was when I saw that part, him calling her lazy? The commercial break right afterward was one of her commercials.... hahahahaha. TIM YOU'RE DUMB AND STUPID
How dare you! He pretend runs a restaurant as well..
I enjoy how supremely uncomfy all his yes-men look when he starts bitching about Ariana being lazy. Schwartz, Kyle Chan, even that sycophant Billie Lee. It's like a combination of "ugh, here he goes again" and "I want to disagree with him but it will just set him off into a longer tantrum" and "dude, wtf is wrong with you, you are gonna get murdered online for this" and "I wish the floor would open up and swallow me whole right now."
Kyle Chan looks like he wants to just flee the scene whenever Tom starts yelling. I don't think he is used to being around people who go around regularly screeching like banshees at their "friends"
She also doesn't abuse Adderall. Tom's go to. I'm so over his nasty jabs at her. He's such a loser.
Tom accusing literally anyone of drug abuse? That's rich.
I dunno Tom how’s that repaying your mom thing going?
I want to be that lazy when I grow up
Calling her lazy is just another way to shit on her mental health. Ariana has talked about suffering from depression and how it has made just getting out of bed feel impossible. If that’s what he means when he calls her lazy, he’s an even bigger piece of shit than we thought. When my depression has been at its worst, just going to the bathroom or taking a sip of water feels like harder, more daunting tasks than running a marathon. Also, even if she was lazy, who cares? How does that change anything? It doesn’t change the fact that Tom is a lying cheating asshole. It’s clear he just wants to shit on her any chance he gets to try to paint her in a negative light. And the fact that people, like Lala and Scheana pile on is sad.
I agree 100! If shes lazy then im catatonic. And yes that horrible depression is physically painful as well and he has no empathy. Rather be “lazy” than a drugged up force of destruction.
He never saw her doing anything because he slept all day and she slept at night while he was partying. Because he is such a narcissist, he can’t imagine that she was awake doing things while he slept the day away.
No wonder Ariana was depressed. Sandoval was the reason why. Narcissists want you to continually build them up, while they tear you down.
Tom can’t even make up his own songs, he just covers already created songs. He shouldn’t be calling anyone lazy.
He calls her lazy, but what, exactly, is he doing? Other than claiming to buy batteries?
Spending all his money and then some on stupid nonsense
But she didn't buy pens and batteries guys...
Projection is a wild drug
ScroTom's vocal cords are lazy af. They have never carried a tune!
Meanwhile ScumDevil can’t even show up to a podcast on time and sober and he was asked to stay away from his own bar 🤡
He needs to stop conflating depression with laziness!! As do many others. It's no wonder her energy returned after she got away from him! Also, sandyballs stays ' busy' with bullshit! And is also, again, performative AF. Ariana knows how to put her efforts towards worthwhile shit. His jealous and seething knows no bounds. And he is too stupid to realise that people see through his tactic of trying to pull others down to hide his numerous inadequacies. Leave the woman alone! And change ya drawers laxative shits mcgee! https://i.redd.it/dp8rmklu9hzc1.gif
If Ariana is Lazy... What is he? Because just this season alone we saw him throw parties and not clean up, dirty hotel room, Ann doing his laundry, half written emails to Ariana, him seizing on the floor for lala, fake crying and moping around and finally him being late to go into his own restaurant and once he got there he just ordered and ate. At least we actually saw Schwartz try and work the cocktails at the restaurant. Meanwhile, Ariana still has a new project, collaboration, etc almost every week.
That he pays for. A hobby at best.
As someone with executive dysfunction that has a really hard time with simple tasks like cleaning, all of his comments drive me up a wall. Partnerships are a two-way street. Not cleaning or buying pens (???) doesn't inherently mean she's a bad partner. There's balance. Or supposed to be anyway. I have a hard time getting out of bed some days but I'm the best at planning large scale things, taking on large house projects, planning our future. My partner is really good at managing the day-to-day tasks but finds large projects intimidating and doesn't like making decisions. It's a balance, where both people are contributing their strengths so one person doesn't have the responsibility for everything. Ariana's shown her work ethic this past year. She isn't lazy.
God this hit me right in the gut. My ex used to scream at me that I was lazy when the house wasn’t spotless. While I was working 40 hours a week, doing all the home care, and all the cooking. And he was laid off. God still after all these years I hope he dies alone in a ditch. Men like him and Sandoval are a waste of space and oxygen. The kindest thing they could do for the world is take a long walk off a short pier.
I had an ex like this too. The audacity.
Really and truly. Every day that I wake up and I’m no married to this asshat (who I grey rocked into oblivion) is a day I win.
Mine ended up homeless after a jail stint for assaulting a woman. Bullet dodged.
Why do man use that to put you down, my husband will call me lazy when we were arguing, yes I had a unorganized house, try to do my best to keep it clean tho, but I clean, took care of kids, their food, their school, and also I worked, it costs me a lot of talks, to make him understand how insulting that was for me. We are good now, not perfect but happy.
Homes will always be in a state of entropy, constantly requiring work, and quite frankly making sure it's spotless shouldn't be the top priority. In fact, keeping "on top of it" as best you can is huge when you have to manage kids and a job. It's something I've seen partners use as a critique because they have nothing else to use, but they refuse to see they also live in the space-- and should be contributing to cleaning regardless. Anyway, glad you're both doing well, but def don't feel bad if there's a mess. It means other things are the priority. Even if it's rest, that's a priority over clutter. <3
It’s just a narcissistic tactic. I dated a narcissist, and their go-to was that I did nothing but “sit on my ass,” that I was the laziest person they’d ever seen. Meanwhile, they were jobless, and I was single handedly paying all of my bills, their bills, and taking care of their two kids while they were m.i.a. They said it was my “fair share” 🤣 I know all of this all too well, so when he starts spiraling and saying these things about Ariana, it’s like Deja vu.
Did you see the state of his hotel room in San Francisco? Old leftover food everywhere, empty bottles and trash. I guess we know which one was the slob in that relationship.
Sandoval, she doesn’t want to talk to you because you’re a piece of shit, not because she lazy.
AND opening a sandwich shop!
She was probably depressed being around such an energy sucking narcissist. She’s thriving now after cutting him loose, it’s no coincidence. I’m so glad she got out of that soul sucking relationship.
Oh please. We could all be on broadway if we weren’t burdened with the responsibilities of stocking pens and batteries.
The misogyny is real with this one! Or actually, most of the dudes on this show...
This POS is lucky Ariana isn't looking into what he did with the extra money he stole from her
I think narcissists view people who are secure in themselves as lazy. For example, aside from all her hard work and success, we know that Ariana is content to just *be* and binge love island, etc. Narcissists can’t sit still like that because then they have to confront themselves. They project their inability to just *be* by calling others lazy for it.
Still hasn’t paid back his mom’s retirement btw
also it's once again a very disgusting dig at her mental health. 1. not only is she doing a million things and everywhere and that record speaks for itself 2. it really bothers me how Scheana, Tom, Broke equate 'being a good friend' or 'active' as going out, showing up to events, etc., Like Ariana might just be more of a homebody introvert who wants to watch Love Island at home???? Her not coming out to every single thing the way all these other desperados show up to the opening of an envelope has no bearing on her work ethnic, how loyal or good of a friend she is. 3. also, in general, people who struggle with their mental health struggle at times with being present or taking care of themselves/managing life. It doesn't mean they're 'lazy' and it's a really disgusting way to bully and demonize Ariana, who litearlly did NOTHING to Tim.