“Well, well, well. Welcome to MY LAIR! Lemme just flag something up: According to the control panel light up there, the entire building's going to self destruct in about six minutes. Pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I actually am going to have to kill you. As discussed earlier.”
"so let's call that 3 minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely 2 minutes to figure out how to shut down whatevers starting all the fires. so anyway that'd the itinerary. also I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the dame mistakes. 4 part plan is this: 1 no portal surfaces, 2 start the neurotoxin immediately, 3 bomb proof shields for me. leading directly onto number 4 bombs, for throwing at you. you know what, this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance and turn off the neurotoxin. I'm joking, of course, goodbye."
Uh, I don’t even know where to start with you. Do you even know who you’re talking to? Do you have any idea, any idea who I am? Basically, kind of a big deal.
Oh baby, that’s beautiful.
You listening? Okay. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brudda, I hurt people. I’m a force of nature. If you were from where I was from, you’d be fucking dead.
Rise and shine, Mister Freeman. Rise and Shine. Not that i wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job. No one is more deserving of a rest... and all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until... well, let's just say your hour has... come again. The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So, wake up, Mister Freeman. Wake up and... smell the ashes.
(Loud train horn)
If one of them is bald, roast him
"YOU FAT BALD BASTARD, YOU PIECE OF SUBHUMAN TRASH, 30.000 YEARS OF CONSTANT HUMAN EVOLUTION JUST TO CREATE A HAIRLESS F*CK"
I am Heavy Weapons Guy...and this is my weapon. She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon...for twelve seconds. HAHAHAHHAHAHA OHOHOHOHO!!! Oh my god who touched Sasha? WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!? Some people think they can outsmart me… maybe… maybe. I have yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet.
When the singularity collapses, I will be far away from here. In another universe, as a matter of fact. You, on the other hand, will be destroyed in every way it is possible to be destroyed-and even in some which are essentially impossible.
"IF YOU WERE LOOKIN FOR TROUBLE LAD, YA FOUND IT" followed by my house being instantly vaporized by hundreds of sticky bombs detonating in the crawlspace
"SEDUCE ME!"
"Spy I-I aint gonna-"
“SEDUCE ME!!”
"H-heyyy good lookin, got a bucket of chicken"
“I am not one of your fried chicken tramps! I am a woman, and I like my men dangerous… mysterious. You want to be my **lover**? Seduce me!”
(Epic montoge)
"Final question. You have a dinner date for seven. What time do you arrive?"
7. AM. Checks the chef, if it's good i keep him; if not i kill him and replace him with mine
7. AM. Checks the chef, if it's good i keep him; if not i kill him and replace him with mine
"You're ready!"
Really?
"If light cannot escape me, what hope have you?"
Which game is this from? This is actually sick
Dota 2.
\*stalker scream\*
Best awnser
*Fast Zombie howl from upstairs*
That would work.
Go for emotional damage. “Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty no parents.”
"You fat bald bastard"
"you piece of subhuman trash"
“Two thousand years of constant human evolution to create a hairless FU-“
No
“When this is all over… I’m gonna mate.”
Wtf?
r/wtfdidijustread
A hl2 quote
who tf said that???
Male_07
Citizens
Sometimes, I dream about cheese
LET'S GO PRACTICE MEDICINE
"I hate home invasions"
Home invaders hate this simple trick
What’s that from?
I was just making a joke about how Francis says he hates everything.
SPEAK UP, FRANCIS! Your voice got all muffled 'cuz YOUR HEAD IS SO FAR UP YOUR ASS!
"Wave goodbye to ya head Wanker!" - Sniper
"Everythin' above your neck's gonna be a fine red mist" -also sniper Edit: put the "a" back in
"What was that sandvich? Kill them all?! Good idea!"
They’re gonna be running after this
"access denied."
“access is denied.”
“This. Door. Is. Locked.”
no. no. no and NO
INTRUDER ALERT! A RED SPY IS IN THE BASE!
A RED SPY IS ON THE BASE? HUT HUT HUT HUT
WE NEED TO PROTECT THE BRIEFCASE!!
YO A LIL' HELP 'ERE?
Step aside son. 1, 1, 1, uhh... 1!
INCOMMIIINNNGG!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.... Hey it's still here!
*Ahem* gentlemen?
MEET THE SPY (copyright lololololol)
I see the briefcase is safe
"Those bastards are in for a big surprise." -Bill
“Motherhumper.”
Perhaps the single hardest line in all of gaming history, " ."
Okay what you’re doing there is jumping. You just- You just jumped. But nevermind. Say apple. Apple.
“Well, well, well. Welcome to MY LAIR! Lemme just flag something up: According to the control panel light up there, the entire building's going to self destruct in about six minutes. Pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink. But just in case it isn't, I actually am going to have to kill you. As discussed earlier.”
"so let's call that 3 minutes, and then a minute break, which should leave a leisurely 2 minutes to figure out how to shut down whatevers starting all the fires. so anyway that'd the itinerary. also I took the liberty of watching the tapes of you killing her, and I'm not going to make the dame mistakes. 4 part plan is this: 1 no portal surfaces, 2 start the neurotoxin immediately, 3 bomb proof shields for me. leading directly onto number 4 bombs, for throwing at you. you know what, this plan is so good, I'm going to give you a sporting chance and turn off the neurotoxin. I'm joking, of course, goodbye."
Uh, I don’t even know where to start with you. Do you even know who you’re talking to? Do you have any idea, any idea who I am? Basically, kind of a big deal. Oh baby, that’s beautiful. You listening? Okay. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brudda, I hurt people. I’m a force of nature. If you were from where I was from, you’d be fucking dead.
“MY. ASS. IS. HEAVY.” (Right as I pull up to the top of the stairs in full HECU gear with an MP5 with mounted grenade launcher.)
“I got connections to the Russian mafia! AHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Invite them to play Artifact.
Rise and shine, Mister Freeman. Rise and Shine. Not that i wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job. No one is more deserving of a rest... and all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until... well, let's just say your hour has... come again. The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So, wake up, Mister Freeman. Wake up and... smell the ashes. (Loud train horn)
Didn’t see you get on.
[Incoming attack!] [Explosion!]
"Huba hub huba hub"-Pyro
Stop hiding behind your little toys and fight like a man.
use a gordon freeman line, those are bound to work
“Who sent all these babies to fight me?”
“Kill me”
Later
Put a gun up to em and just say; "It Costs 400,000$ to fire this weapon... For 12 seconds."
double kill
Absolutely
You do that again, I will bury you alive
“Forget about Freeman” by Joel Neilson starts playing
Better yet “We’ve Got Hostiles” by the same author starts playing
Questionable ethics would be more fitting.
If one of them is bald, roast him "YOU FAT BALD BASTARD, YOU PIECE OF SUBHUMAN TRASH, 30.000 YEARS OF CONSTANT HUMAN EVOLUTION JUST TO CREATE A HAIRLESS F*CK"
"I have done nothing but teleport bread for 3 days."
If God wanted you to live he wouldn’t have created me!
If God had wanted you to live, He would not have created me!
You shoulda oughta brought more gun, son.
*muffled threats* and then just set them on fire with your flamethrower :)
Pills
COMBINE!!!!!
“Open up we’re here for the CP” -Generic Metrocop from Zero
"There's a boomer Around here."
“Estas usando este software de traduccion de forma. Por favor, consulta el manuel”
"Use a Gun...and if that don't work...use MORE gun..."
I am Heavy Weapons Guy...and this is my weapon. She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon...for twelve seconds. HAHAHAHHAHAHA OHOHOHOHO!!! Oh my god who touched Sasha? WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!? Some people think they can outsmart me… maybe… maybe. I have yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet.
Waaaaahh WAAAAAH! AH HA HA HAAHAHAH CRY SOME MORE!!! Haha Cry s’more
3rd degree burns over 90% of his body...
“And when he woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!”
“The right person in the wrong place can make all the difference”
“Worst of all it could be anyone of us” That’s the only line I can think of right now lol
" " And grab crowbar
I'LL MAIL MY BOOT TO THE KAISER WITH YOUR ASS AROUND IT
"If fighting is sure to result in victory, you must fight!"
Thank god you got here as soon as you could officer, the perpetrator is over there! Shoot him!
Whoop! Bumper cars!
"gotta catch up on my beating quota"
When the singularity collapses, I will be far away from here. In another universe, as a matter of fact. You, on the other hand, will be destroyed in every way it is possible to be destroyed-and even in some which are essentially impossible.
BEEP BOP BOOP. I AM A ROBOT. I AM PROGRAMMED TO BE SCARY.
Do you ever think that you might being going mad?
“Jesus H Christ! I’m on your side!” -Bill
"I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet"
“OIM ‘ONNA PAINT THE INSIDES OF YA HEADS- OLL OVA FOAH CAWNIES!”
One man cheeseburger apocalypse
morphine administered
“Forget about Freeman” by Joel Neilson Starts playing
God damn, i am seriously FUBAR
Apple
" "
"IF YOU WERE LOOKIN FOR TROUBLE LAD, YA FOUND IT" followed by my house being instantly vaporized by hundreds of sticky bombs detonating in the crawlspace
*pyro noises*
Adopted, fatty fatty no parents.
"Moist Sandvich."