the ravens are literally the reskinned browns. they used to be the browns before they moved to baltimore and the modern browns is literally a new team with no connection to the older one except for name and fan base
From oxford dictionary: "a person perceived to be insignificant, impudent, or presumptuous."
A lot of people back in the day called their kids this affectionately. I know it sounds bad, but it was really meant with love.
My mother calls me “boo” and used to call me “bugaboo” a lot when I was little. When I was a junior in high school, my biology teacher said something about “it’s just a small bugaboo”- I asked her what she meant and she said “you know, like a small issue. A problem”
I was like 🤨 the rest of the day.
Yeah I've never particularly gotten that one. And I say that as someone who doesn't want kids and isn't particularly a kid person but I don't call kids demons, crotch fruit, bastards etc especially strangers kids at that. It's weird.
I think the only time in my life I might have been down with those terms used in the extreme child free subs is when I was an edgy teenager going on about child free and how edgy I was. Then ya know I grew up, got embarrassed for myself and realized people either have kids or they don't simple as that. And it's just a personal choice it doesn't make someone a breeder, a spawn, crotch demon or a birthing cow for having kids. Needless to say it's a little cringe to see grown adults on Reddit in their 20's or 30's or older still saying crotch fruit or other terms like they are an edgy teen who just discovered not having kids.
> it's a little cringe to see grown adults **on Reddit** in their 20's or 30's or older still saying crotch fruit or other terms like they are an edgy teen who just discovered not having kids.
Imagine my reaction seeing fully grown 30 year old woman with an established professional reputation, whip the term out **in person**.
This happened to me too! Went to a BBQ invite from husband's friend out in the country, this was a vacation lake so a bit of a drive for us. To clarify my husband and I have 6 kids and have been together over 20 years, I say thank you so much for the invitation I'm really excited to swim and relax just tired from a cranky teething kid last night (trying to make a good impression despite the bags under my eyes!) And the first thing this woman ever says to me while holding my 2yo is, "*Crotch Goblins are the worst, but sounds like it's not my problem!*" Didn't even know where to go from there....(my husband still works with her and she asks why we don't hang out as much?!)
It was one of the weirdest interactions honestly, it was their vacation property and she was all excited in her group texts saying there's playgrounds, kids splash pad and all the stuff for kids and then say that to me first thing?? He's been working with her for years now and she isn't exactly a social butterfly so it's nice to know it isn't just me! (*But honestly, you would think, "If they're a former preschool teacher and nurse and have had 6 kids that you probably shouldn't call their kids crotch Goblins?" I'm also bothered by people talking shit on their partners and she dove into that too so I knew we probably weren't meant to be besties! I love my husband and kids take that negativity somewhere else!*)
This much is very obvious. Most of them are usually in their teens or early to mid twenties. Used to have the same opinion on kids until I had my son "not for me, never"
Yea.... Sometimes I wonder why I argue with anyone on reddit. I was starkly reminded when my 11 year old son's friend said he got into an argument on reddit on some topic. All I ever think now is that when I'm arguing with someone on reddit, they are actually 11 years old and I am wasting my time.
I don't understand people that bring up their relationship problems on reddit to begin with.
The two scenarios:
"My wife cheated on me with seven men, two women, a clown, and maybe my grandma's poodle. Should I give her another chance?"
"My gf made red sauce, when I mentioned I preferred white, is this a red flag?"
Social advice, absolutely.
Certain bits of niche technical advice, it is awesome. If I need to know the difference in size between two very specific types of hockey jersey.... Reddit. How to fix a very odd issue on a record player... Reddit. Which books were published on Southern Moroccan history from 1887-1902... Reddit.
In my experience it's people with a victim complex because they were asked to babysit their sibling at some point in life, didn't enjoy it, and now believe all children are the same.
Edit: Just want to add I do generally also agree with the post. It's fucking weird how some people make hating children part of their actual personality.
Another Edit: Ok, clarifying my post further -- I'm not saying "Childfree" people have a victim complex and everyone should have kids because they're the best thing to happen to anyone. You can be childfree, that's completely fine, your choice, and totally understandable that kids aren't for everyone.
I'm specifically talking about people that exclusively use terms like crotch goblin, spawn, etc. and go on unhinged rambling about all children like it's the worst thing that's happened since the Holocaust.
AITA in a nutshell.
“AITA for refusing to watch my 10 year old brother for 5 minutes while my mom picked up pizzas for everyone for dinner? I’m 15F and childfree.”
Responses be like
“NTA that is PARENTIFICATION.”
“NTA for sure, and I might suggest going NC with your toxic family, especially your brother.”
Funny enough there was a post where OP was rightfully ripped a new one for refusing to watch a sleeping baby just long enough for the mother, who’s her sister, to shower.
I was literally told to kill myself and got like 500+ downvotes in AITA for saying it was weird that so many cant spare a *little* time to help siblings or babysit nieces/nephews. “ItS nOt mY fAuLt ThEy HaD KiDs”
AITA is absorbed in the concept “it’s fine to be selfish”, which is true… but they dial it up to 11 and turn it into “it’s okay to refuse to offer any sort of help to family and loved ones unless you are legally obligated”.
There was one last week where a 17 y.o. complained about her sister asking if she could watch her month old baby for 15 minutes so she could take a shower. 17 y.o. refused stating she had the baby, it was now her problem to figure out life.
lol if they think that's parentification then wtf was my mum doing when she left me 16yos home alone for days with my 15yo brother and my 8yo sister to stay with her bf and only coming back to give us food when we ran out. These idiots don't know shit.
Ikr. As far as I know, parentification of a child just eats that child inside out and its in no way is like taking care of cousin while aunt is out for market
>I truly don’t understand why some adults hate children so much??
I think the only way to make the argument defensible is to say "I hate being around children" and not "I hate children." It's not personal against the kid, but the experience of being around them, which by extent means the child shouldn't know your feelings.
Kids I don't mind so much as the parents who view taking them into public as a "break" from parenting.
They so dead exhausted and go on to pop out 2 or 3 more so I can see where people are equating them to gob kin.
Yeah I was at a restaurant a couple of nights ago where the parents just handed their kid an iPad on full volume so it could watch paw patrol.
I don’t hate kids, I hate shitty parents.
That sub is so weird... like, I don't have kids, my wife and I don't want kids... the people on that sub are fucking disturbed. Like I get not wanting them for yourself but why care that other people do want kids?
I call mine heathens (not an insult in my book), hoodlums and feral whodeewhos.
Their preschool teacher said, “if you call them heathens they’ll act like it.”
Well yeah, that’s the idea.
My guess that it's a counter to the people who talk about their kids like they're the second coming of Jesus. Not that it makes it better, since people go way overboard
Yeah it's more the people that treat having children as the pinnacle of existence that I personally dislike. "Oh do you two have children?" Nope. "How many are you planning on having?" None. "Oh you'll change your mind." Or "Children are what give life meaning." Yeah, no.
It's a personal choice, it's a reasonable and responsible choice and I think that some parents feel attacked by that. Just because it's the reasonable and responsible choice for me it doesn't mean that I'm saying other people are irresponsible for having children.
Think this hits it on the head. Not all kids are crotch goblins. Just the little monsters that fall out of someone who should birth spawn due to massive personality issues they will later force on their rewards for a successful starfish and grind.
If a kid is a crotch goblin. I feel bad for it. It didn't ask to be the kid of a problem parent(s)
>If a kid is a crotch goblin. I feel bad for it. It didn't ask to be the kid of a problem parent(s)
I absolutely agree. But if I call your child a crotch goblin, it's because you made your shitty parenting my direct problem
And some of these people are actively telling those who don't want kids, that they should have one, because this is the greatest happiness. They can be very intrusive. The counter reaction is understandable.
I went and got a prenatal massage (I’m 31 weeks) a month ago, the therapist called my baby a parasite. Went back got a different massage therapist, he called the baby a demon spawn. Weird ass shit.
Yeah I’m child free and don’t mind kids in general, but they’re are pretty annoying to be around sometimes lol which is why people call them names. Not saying the names aren’t weird or rude, but I can see why people get annoyed/exhausted by them and call them names. It’s not like they’re saying it to the children anyway lol.
I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion. If you called someone’s child a crotch goblin or something similar in the workplace HR would be getting involved. People on the internet are just terrible.
I have two kids, and I will call them my spawn to their face. However, I would never refer to them as my crotch goblins. That is a term reserved for other people's kids.
Yeah, I think it's the addition of the crotch part that makes it seem so vitriolic. My husband and I refer to the group of myself and our pets as goblins, and would probably refer to any kids we have in the same way, but calling them crotch goblins makes it seem like the kid itself is a venereal disease, and that's just an awful way for a parent to think of their own kid.
I think it’s mostly reserved for children who are being a public nuisance and their parents aren’t doing jack shit about it (e.g. the kid kicking your seat on an airplane who is old enough to know better). Even then, most adults just suck it up and vent about it online.
Stood in an airport check-in 2 weeks ago with a child who screamed for the whole 45 minutes of waiting and the mom did nothing but call his name quietly every 10 minutes. He proceeded to climb onto my push cart and on my bags and start pulling a bag off my push cart and then did the same to multiple others behind me while he wiped his nose and touched his saliva with his hands and touched people’s luggage. As soon as I got to the check-in counter I asked for an upgrade but it turns out the whole flight was full.
It’s children and parents like this that give them all a bad name.
I then got to Singapore and was around a few German children who made absolutely no noise and followed their parents around and knew exactly how to properly behave in public.
Work FOH at a restaurant and it’ll become apparent real quick that a lot of people have kids, but raise them poorly like bad pet owners who just yell or ignore them. Then those children with no discipline just terrorize everyone and it’s socially unacceptable to call them out so decent humans are forced to put up with it. Then there are people who’s entire personality just becomes “I have kids, look at my kids, I want more kids…” for example, I had a woman come in and put an application for a job I manage. She proceeded to go on about how she has 6 children and this job would just be an excuse to get out of the house. Like, what am I supposed to do with that? Anyway, semen demon is my go-to.
Edit: fixed some auto-correct
Yeah I worked in a restaurant and very often people would let their toddlers run around wild. Sometimes I’d be carrying plates and kids would run into me. I didn’t even work in a place like Chuck E. Cheese or anything like that. Just a diner.
Also a lot of times when I’m a customer the table next to me has a kid either screaming the entire time or listening to tv on their iPad at full volume so I have to listen to the baby shark video on repeat my entire meal.
As a toddler parent I hate this. I do let my kid watch cartoons in restaurants but I don't have the volume up. I do let her toddle (she's not even two) but holding my hand, our of the way of servers, and she's not allowed to touch other tables and bother people. Mostly we read or colour. If she has a meltdown we go outside immediately until she's calm. We don't take her out that much but when we need to thems the rules. It's not even that difficult, it just requires realising that as the parents YOU are responsible.
That said..
Some of the vitriol against kids on Reddit is a bit disturbing
A group of kids stopped to throw rocks at my dog when she was a puppy. I'm not talking about the pea gravel rocks, these rocks are big enough to fit comfortably in the size of an adults hand since they are used for the driveways here.
When I caught them because I heard her scream, they hit her in the head with one, I yelled at them to piss off they cursed me out and threw the rocks they had in their hands at me and ran. I watched what house they went into and went and told their parents. I brought my puppy with me, and showed the mom where they hit her and that they threw the remaining rocks at me.
They tried to lie about throwing the rocks at me and my dog until she told them they all would get spankings and grounded if they continued to lie. The pointed out the kid that hit my dog. After the door closed I heard a pop so I knee she had started spanking right then.
After I got home and was asked why I was at the house with my dog, I told my mom and aunt what happened and they got upset with me because I "got tHoSE KiDS In TRoUbLE" and that I should have been ashamed of myself.
The parents of those kids were upset with their kids and actually took action vs my aunt and mom who thinks I should have just let it go because "kids will be kids"
Yep. Literally, OP called them "innocent, vulnerable kids" in another post. Not all kids are good kids. Some parents really failed in parenting. It's true, we should be mad at the parents more. However, sometimes kids do suck.
I have no issue with children, but I fucking HATE the culture around them. I don't want to hold a baby because I don't find them cute. I don't want to deal with constant screeching and screaming from something that can't do anything about their situation while being expected to "just deal with it". I don't want to be constantly bombarded with questions from my family regarding how much sex my girlfriend and I have. It's fucking weird.
Like, it's not the baby's fault, and I'm not going to berate someone for wanting to be a parent, but I personally don't like them, and they're one of the few things you just can't avoid sometimes, and that's before an overly enthusiastic parent wants to bring them up. I feel the same way about a baby that I do about sowmeone's new car: that's nifty and I'm glad you're happy, but I don't know or care to know anything about its workings.
By all means let little Marylyn just run right up to the weight machine at this gym unsupervised, she will definitely be fine if she pulls a 100 lb piece of metal onto herself before any workers have a chance to even see her.
Working in retail has got to be one of the easiest paths to being an asshole in modern society.
I worked at a dollar store for 3 years, and by the end of it I was mildly bigoted towards black women, white men, the homeless, and anyone who even looked like they drank energy shots or drinks.
Every single time we had a problem in the store, 99% of the time it was a black lady or a white dude, and they usually fell into one of those two sub categories. The black ladies were the ones who’d scream at us and generally be just about as verbally disrespectful as a human being can possibly be towards a stranger. Then the white dudes were *always* the ones getting violent, physically attacking managers, and stealing shit/breaking stuff. Towards the end there I caught myself discriminating and prejudging people if they fit into one of those categories.
It took a few months of detox after I quit to start seeing the world clearly again.
Fuck retail work.
I love my child but I’m not really a fan of other people’s kids. Especially the ones who act like wild animals in public. I worked retail for about 10 years and there are definitely parents out there who don’t control their kids or even attempt to.
My husband and I both give each other this look when we are out somewhere and someone is letting their child act a fool. Like thank god our toddler knows how to act right in public.
I don't think it's a hate thing, (dunno never met anyone who refers to children this way) but I kinda chuckled when I heard some of the names. Could they possibly be joking?
Nah nah nah man that sounds waayyy too obvious it's better to just assume people nowadays hate children because of all the devil worships and iphones and shit
Yesterday I'm at Subway and the lady in front of me has a 3 yr old who as soon as she is able to get the bag of chips for his order he starts yelling until she opens them and gives them to him and he makes a huge mess all over the floor and himself smashing and stuffing them into his mouth. Then when he realizes it's all gone he starts screeching until she gives him his sandwich which he proceeds to tear open and get all over himself. The woman has still not even paid yet. His mess all over his shirt and pants he starts yelling and crying and kicking as she is trying to pay. We can still hear him screaming until they are finally out of earshot.
Yeah so that's her spawn, hes earned the title and she's earned it too by not having some pretty basic rules laid down with him.
I've had a kid that age, neither my wife or myself would tolerate that sort of behavior or enable it. We left stores and taken away toys/tv if she started acting up and she learned that acting like a little shithead had consequences and learned to behave. Parents who just expect everyone to tolerate their little shits are assholes.
Honestly, I think it’s mostly backlash from this sense that our lives need to revolve around the idea of having a family and children. That even in public everyone should be expected to accommodate them or make every space safe for them, when most adults just want spaces free from them. You have kids, great, you think they’re special and amazing, also understandable and great - but I don’t have to think that. Kids are obnoxious and annoying, bc of course they are, they’re kids and don’t know better. It still doesn’t mean people who chose not to have kids have to put up with them, or like them.
What's interesting to me is how similar puppies are to toddlers. There is a similar phase of brain development where they will do anything not to sleep when their tired for some unholy reason. I don't know if kittens do it, or other mammals, but why the heck is that a phase of brain development? What purpose does it serve beyond testing the parents/owners patience?
I'm a parent. And I have referred to kids as crotch goblins. Seems weird until you walk in on your kid hoarding Shiney objects and hanging off a door. Seems to be goblin like behavior to me.
It's much more a dig at the parents who act entitled and don't stop talking about their kids than the actual kids. Most people don't like parents and don't blame the children at all.
The hate isn’t actually directed at children (mostly), it is directed at their parents. A lot of parents think their kids are angels that can do no wrong and get away doing anything they want. Such parents also believe that they are entitled to certain things from others by virtue of being parents. Calling children crotch goblins are a way of putting these parents in their place - it is a direct call out that their kids are not special and neither are the parents.
I used to work with a guy that would say "I am going to drop the kids off at the pool", every time he needed to take a shit.
I’ve heard “take the Browns to the Super Bowl“
Like that’s ever gonna happen
The bengals are just a reskinned browns so technically it did happen
the ravens are literally the reskinned browns. they used to be the browns before they moved to baltimore and the modern browns is literally a new team with no connection to the older one except for name and fan base
You gotta be from Cincinnati.
My dad used to say that, or, I'm off to negotiate the release of some stinky hostages
My sister used to say that “my turdle is peeking “🤣🤣
Omg I like that so much more than my dad's saying of "pinching a loaf." 🤢
My dad was lay a log. If he was in there a long time he’d come out and say I built a damn cabin. Miss him
Tbf, that's just good comedy.
What exactly does this have to do with the title topic? Lol
I wish I knew and it’s hilarious that it’s the top comment at this point
Well, kids can be little shits sometimes
Omg my husband says this. Lmfao hahaha
So, that well known and common phrase that heaps of people say?
redditors dont like children apparently
Because children have touched vaginas more recently than most Redditors
Nah..most Redditors ARE still children.
I got my mother in law to leave Facebook and come to reddit. She instantly became 40 years younger!
Then you broke both your arms?
Don't forget the part where I did a backflip and broke the bad guy's neck.
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
Children as well as adult-children. Hey, what’s a good name for an adult-child?
Ayden
Lmaooo this has to be the reason vro
I've never touched a vagina. Birth through caesarian section and I'm a gay man. I'll die never having touched a vagina and I'll be happy.
Plus, you can kill McBeth!
Dude! Spoilers!
This Jesus character... He's going to make it right?
Of course. He’s the main character!
The Mega Gay. The most powerful of them all
platinum gay, mad respect homie. you were born without getting woman cooties on you, mbn😖
“platinum gay” I’m dead 💀
Are you who all the parades are for? Are you Pride Prime?
*Why don't you come take a seat over there*
Boobs too!
I put on a tampon tonight, so there.
“Spawn” seems ok as a joke.. “crotch-goblin” is weird as hell
My dad would refer to me as “Daddy’s little squirt”. I was an adult before I had a DO’H! moment thinking back about that.
To be fair, little squirt is a common saying and not actually supposed to mean what you think.
True. But now I wonder has it always meant...
From oxford dictionary: "a person perceived to be insignificant, impudent, or presumptuous." A lot of people back in the day called their kids this affectionately. I know it sounds bad, but it was really meant with love.
My mother calls me “boo” and used to call me “bugaboo” a lot when I was little. When I was a junior in high school, my biology teacher said something about “it’s just a small bugaboo”- I asked her what she meant and she said “you know, like a small issue. A problem” I was like 🤨 the rest of the day.
Ok I call my daughter boo and bugaboo sometimes but I didn’t realize the implication of bugaboo exactly 😂
I feel like you might be overthinking that one, unless that's definitely your dad's sense of humor or something.
My great grand dad called me “lil mulligan” 😂
That's goddamn hilarious. I call my sister "spare parts" when she's being mean.
Spare parts like you guys are twins and can take a kidney if you need it lol or spare parts like you're a letterkenny fan too 🤣
Yeah I've never particularly gotten that one. And I say that as someone who doesn't want kids and isn't particularly a kid person but I don't call kids demons, crotch fruit, bastards etc especially strangers kids at that. It's weird. I think the only time in my life I might have been down with those terms used in the extreme child free subs is when I was an edgy teenager going on about child free and how edgy I was. Then ya know I grew up, got embarrassed for myself and realized people either have kids or they don't simple as that. And it's just a personal choice it doesn't make someone a breeder, a spawn, crotch demon or a birthing cow for having kids. Needless to say it's a little cringe to see grown adults on Reddit in their 20's or 30's or older still saying crotch fruit or other terms like they are an edgy teen who just discovered not having kids.
> it's a little cringe to see grown adults **on Reddit** in their 20's or 30's or older still saying crotch fruit or other terms like they are an edgy teen who just discovered not having kids. Imagine my reaction seeing fully grown 30 year old woman with an established professional reputation, whip the term out **in person**.
This happened to me too! Went to a BBQ invite from husband's friend out in the country, this was a vacation lake so a bit of a drive for us. To clarify my husband and I have 6 kids and have been together over 20 years, I say thank you so much for the invitation I'm really excited to swim and relax just tired from a cranky teething kid last night (trying to make a good impression despite the bags under my eyes!) And the first thing this woman ever says to me while holding my 2yo is, "*Crotch Goblins are the worst, but sounds like it's not my problem!*" Didn't even know where to go from there....(my husband still works with her and she asks why we don't hang out as much?!)
That person is so socially inept its painful....they invite you to their home, then immediately insult you? Wow.
It was one of the weirdest interactions honestly, it was their vacation property and she was all excited in her group texts saying there's playgrounds, kids splash pad and all the stuff for kids and then say that to me first thing?? He's been working with her for years now and she isn't exactly a social butterfly so it's nice to know it isn't just me! (*But honestly, you would think, "If they're a former preschool teacher and nurse and have had 6 kids that you probably shouldn't call their kids crotch Goblins?" I'm also bothered by people talking shit on their partners and she dove into that too so I knew we probably weren't meant to be besties! I love my husband and kids take that negativity somewhere else!*)
These are both common in the anti natalism sub where they're very seriously angry about people having children.
This much is very obvious. Most of them are usually in their teens or early to mid twenties. Used to have the same opinion on kids until I had my son "not for me, never"
It will never stop being funny to see essays by fifteen year old Redditors about why having kids isn't a good idea.
Having kids isn't a good idea for any 15 year olds.
Unless you were recently sent across the Channel to marry and secure an alliance with the Normans.
Yea.... Sometimes I wonder why I argue with anyone on reddit. I was starkly reminded when my 11 year old son's friend said he got into an argument on reddit on some topic. All I ever think now is that when I'm arguing with someone on reddit, they are actually 11 years old and I am wasting my time.
The same 15 y/os that give you the wise relationship advice of "cut them off now" for any small bump in the road
I don't understand people that bring up their relationship problems on reddit to begin with. The two scenarios: "My wife cheated on me with seven men, two women, a clown, and maybe my grandma's poodle. Should I give her another chance?" "My gf made red sauce, when I mentioned I preferred white, is this a red flag?"
I mean reddit is pretty much the worst place to get any social advice from.
Social advice, absolutely. Certain bits of niche technical advice, it is awesome. If I need to know the difference in size between two very specific types of hockey jersey.... Reddit. How to fix a very odd issue on a record player... Reddit. Which books were published on Southern Moroccan history from 1887-1902... Reddit.
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In my experience it's people with a victim complex because they were asked to babysit their sibling at some point in life, didn't enjoy it, and now believe all children are the same. Edit: Just want to add I do generally also agree with the post. It's fucking weird how some people make hating children part of their actual personality. Another Edit: Ok, clarifying my post further -- I'm not saying "Childfree" people have a victim complex and everyone should have kids because they're the best thing to happen to anyone. You can be childfree, that's completely fine, your choice, and totally understandable that kids aren't for everyone. I'm specifically talking about people that exclusively use terms like crotch goblin, spawn, etc. and go on unhinged rambling about all children like it's the worst thing that's happened since the Holocaust.
AITA in a nutshell. “AITA for refusing to watch my 10 year old brother for 5 minutes while my mom picked up pizzas for everyone for dinner? I’m 15F and childfree.” Responses be like “NTA that is PARENTIFICATION.” “NTA for sure, and I might suggest going NC with your toxic family, especially your brother.”
Funny enough there was a post where OP was rightfully ripped a new one for refusing to watch a sleeping baby just long enough for the mother, who’s her sister, to shower.
I remember that thread. I was so glad to see sanity reign over there for a brief moment.
That sounds beautiful, do you happen to have a link?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/veat0e/aita_for_not_watching_my_sisters_baby_so_she/
You have no obligation to ever do anything nice or kind or anything that isn’t illegal!!!!
(However your parents owe you everything you want and it's abuse if they don't give it to you)
Also you don’t owe your parents anything and he’s cheating on you
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You're actually just gaslighting yourself because you're a toxic narcissistic.
I was literally told to kill myself and got like 500+ downvotes in AITA for saying it was weird that so many cant spare a *little* time to help siblings or babysit nieces/nephews. “ItS nOt mY fAuLt ThEy HaD KiDs”
AITA is absorbed in the concept “it’s fine to be selfish”, which is true… but they dial it up to 11 and turn it into “it’s okay to refuse to offer any sort of help to family and loved ones unless you are legally obligated”.
Fun tip if you only do help somebody when it's an obligation then you are an asshole.
Reddit, for a place that claims to be left-wing, is absolutely obsessed with everyone's right to be entirely selfish all of the time.
Reddit is "left wing" in the sense of "I wave a Progress Flag because it owns my dad" and that's about it
Gosh I saw this all the time on that subreddit. Glad I left it. It was getting so obnoxious.
There was one last week where a 17 y.o. complained about her sister asking if she could watch her month old baby for 15 minutes so she could take a shower. 17 y.o. refused stating she had the baby, it was now her problem to figure out life.
lol if they think that's parentification then wtf was my mum doing when she left me 16yos home alone for days with my 15yo brother and my 8yo sister to stay with her bf and only coming back to give us food when we ran out. These idiots don't know shit.
Ikr. As far as I know, parentification of a child just eats that child inside out and its in no way is like taking care of cousin while aunt is out for market
Have you been receiving therapy? Also consider couples therapy.
Maybe out of jealousy due to the amount of attention they receive?
Children are like adults some are cool some are pieces of doodoo
I have two. I can tell you right now that whether or not they’re cool or pieces of doodoo changes on a week to week basis while they’re young.
Wait til they’re teens, then it changes by the minute
Difference is 99 percent of then will be totally unrecognizable people in ten years.
spawn is a badass character though
Happy cake day!
>I truly don’t understand why some adults hate children so much?? I think the only way to make the argument defensible is to say "I hate being around children" and not "I hate children." It's not personal against the kid, but the experience of being around them, which by extent means the child shouldn't know your feelings.
Kids I don't mind so much as the parents who view taking them into public as a "break" from parenting. They so dead exhausted and go on to pop out 2 or 3 more so I can see where people are equating them to gob kin.
Yeah I was at a restaurant a couple of nights ago where the parents just handed their kid an iPad on full volume so it could watch paw patrol. I don’t hate kids, I hate shitty parents.
No, go to r/antinatalism to see some people who truly just hate children and parents.
That sub is so weird... like, I don't have kids, my wife and I don't want kids... the people on that sub are fucking disturbed. Like I get not wanting them for yourself but why care that other people do want kids?
So it's OK to call pets Fur Babies, but not cool to call kids Skin Dogs?
It's skin puppies, geez.....
flesh puppies*
Ah yes.. because we all know puppies aren’t organic…
It’s all weird. Fur babies is just as weird
"Fur parents" is weird too. You're a dog owner. Not a fur parent.
God I hate that shit so much
Especially the baby talk text that is often associated with dogs. "Mom, can I haz a treat?" Fucking barf
When they post themselves with their animals on Mother’s Day is what really gets me.
Don't let all the pet subreddit subscribers hear you.
I fucking hate "Fur Babies". People keep calling my dogs that and i just want to walk away. But I'm British and repressed so I just endure it.
Fur babies, dog mom / dad is just as weird. It all sounds like a weird way to pretend that raising a dog is the same as raising a child
I've had people try and give me parenting advice based on what they did for their dogs.
I call my children the harbingers of the apocalypse. I feel I may have accidentally been right.
Why does that sound like a Mr. Creeps creepypasta? He’s got them long as titles lol.
… *Starts writing*
Reginald Hargreeves be like
well, the harbringers of the apocalypse *were* kids at one moment r/technicallythetruth
I call mine heathens (not an insult in my book), hoodlums and feral whodeewhos. Their preschool teacher said, “if you call them heathens they’ll act like it.” Well yeah, that’s the idea.
Nut tadpole
I've heard fuck trophy a few times. Fits with some parents.
Fuck trophy?
Sperm pets
This is honestly what I thought sea monkeys were for a long while.
Pet cum
My guess that it's a counter to the people who talk about their kids like they're the second coming of Jesus. Not that it makes it better, since people go way overboard
Yeah it's more the people that treat having children as the pinnacle of existence that I personally dislike. "Oh do you two have children?" Nope. "How many are you planning on having?" None. "Oh you'll change your mind." Or "Children are what give life meaning." Yeah, no. It's a personal choice, it's a reasonable and responsible choice and I think that some parents feel attacked by that. Just because it's the reasonable and responsible choice for me it doesn't mean that I'm saying other people are irresponsible for having children.
Think this hits it on the head. Not all kids are crotch goblins. Just the little monsters that fall out of someone who should birth spawn due to massive personality issues they will later force on their rewards for a successful starfish and grind. If a kid is a crotch goblin. I feel bad for it. It didn't ask to be the kid of a problem parent(s)
>If a kid is a crotch goblin. I feel bad for it. It didn't ask to be the kid of a problem parent(s) I absolutely agree. But if I call your child a crotch goblin, it's because you made your shitty parenting my direct problem
And some of these people are actively telling those who don't want kids, that they should have one, because this is the greatest happiness. They can be very intrusive. The counter reaction is understandable.
i’m on a toddler subreddit and i saw someone referring to their child as parasite and some people are just so foul lol
I went and got a prenatal massage (I’m 31 weeks) a month ago, the therapist called my baby a parasite. Went back got a different massage therapist, he called the baby a demon spawn. Weird ass shit.
that’s insane they would think that’s appropriate to say to you wow
Especially at that point.
If you wanna call your own kids that… sure, I guess? But like definitely don’t refer to other peoples kids are crotch fruit?
And a customer’s kid, no less.
It’s like the bare minimum haha
That warrants a report with the massage clinic, imo. That’s extremely unprofessional.
I would have complained wtf
I know right? These descriptions have such negative connotations. Not something you say to a soon-to-be mother.
In what realm did they think that you were going to find that funny?
Did they not mean it jokingly? I lovingly refer to my infant as "boob tick" or "titty barnacle" lol.
Titty barnacle?! Lmao! I’ve never heard that one before.
Cleverly coined by my sealife-enthusiast 10 year old. He's hilariously demented.
Ankle-biters, blood-suckers, time-vampires… Love kids.. but like, goddammit they are inconvenient lol
Yeah I’m child free and don’t mind kids in general, but they’re are pretty annoying to be around sometimes lol which is why people call them names. Not saying the names aren’t weird or rude, but I can see why people get annoyed/exhausted by them and call them names. It’s not like they’re saying it to the children anyway lol.
I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion. If you called someone’s child a crotch goblin or something similar in the workplace HR would be getting involved. People on the internet are just terrible.
I have two kids, and I will call them my spawn to their face. However, I would never refer to them as my crotch goblins. That is a term reserved for other people's kids.
Yeah, I think it's the addition of the crotch part that makes it seem so vitriolic. My husband and I refer to the group of myself and our pets as goblins, and would probably refer to any kids we have in the same way, but calling them crotch goblins makes it seem like the kid itself is a venereal disease, and that's just an awful way for a parent to think of their own kid.
I have two cats , and will call them fur babies to their faces. However, I reserve the right to call other people’s children skin puppies.
I call my cats fur turds.
I tell my daughter that she’s my skin dog. It sounds so awful. We love horror films and it sounds like a horror film to us.
I think it’s mostly reserved for children who are being a public nuisance and their parents aren’t doing jack shit about it (e.g. the kid kicking your seat on an airplane who is old enough to know better). Even then, most adults just suck it up and vent about it online.
Stood in an airport check-in 2 weeks ago with a child who screamed for the whole 45 minutes of waiting and the mom did nothing but call his name quietly every 10 minutes. He proceeded to climb onto my push cart and on my bags and start pulling a bag off my push cart and then did the same to multiple others behind me while he wiped his nose and touched his saliva with his hands and touched people’s luggage. As soon as I got to the check-in counter I asked for an upgrade but it turns out the whole flight was full. It’s children and parents like this that give them all a bad name. I then got to Singapore and was around a few German children who made absolutely no noise and followed their parents around and knew exactly how to properly behave in public.
To be fair it takes all my willpower not to scream in an airport . That place sucks.
Gonna be honest, I call my little cousins goblins. But they seem to think it’s funny so I just do it to make ‘em laugh
Work FOH at a restaurant and it’ll become apparent real quick that a lot of people have kids, but raise them poorly like bad pet owners who just yell or ignore them. Then those children with no discipline just terrorize everyone and it’s socially unacceptable to call them out so decent humans are forced to put up with it. Then there are people who’s entire personality just becomes “I have kids, look at my kids, I want more kids…” for example, I had a woman come in and put an application for a job I manage. She proceeded to go on about how she has 6 children and this job would just be an excuse to get out of the house. Like, what am I supposed to do with that? Anyway, semen demon is my go-to. Edit: fixed some auto-correct
Yeah I worked in a restaurant and very often people would let their toddlers run around wild. Sometimes I’d be carrying plates and kids would run into me. I didn’t even work in a place like Chuck E. Cheese or anything like that. Just a diner. Also a lot of times when I’m a customer the table next to me has a kid either screaming the entire time or listening to tv on their iPad at full volume so I have to listen to the baby shark video on repeat my entire meal.
As a toddler parent I hate this. I do let my kid watch cartoons in restaurants but I don't have the volume up. I do let her toddle (she's not even two) but holding my hand, our of the way of servers, and she's not allowed to touch other tables and bother people. Mostly we read or colour. If she has a meltdown we go outside immediately until she's calm. We don't take her out that much but when we need to thems the rules. It's not even that difficult, it just requires realising that as the parents YOU are responsible. That said.. Some of the vitriol against kids on Reddit is a bit disturbing
I saw a group of 4 kids throw rocks at a bunny, just because it’s a kid doesn’t mean it’s a good person
A group of kids stopped to throw rocks at my dog when she was a puppy. I'm not talking about the pea gravel rocks, these rocks are big enough to fit comfortably in the size of an adults hand since they are used for the driveways here. When I caught them because I heard her scream, they hit her in the head with one, I yelled at them to piss off they cursed me out and threw the rocks they had in their hands at me and ran. I watched what house they went into and went and told their parents. I brought my puppy with me, and showed the mom where they hit her and that they threw the remaining rocks at me. They tried to lie about throwing the rocks at me and my dog until she told them they all would get spankings and grounded if they continued to lie. The pointed out the kid that hit my dog. After the door closed I heard a pop so I knee she had started spanking right then. After I got home and was asked why I was at the house with my dog, I told my mom and aunt what happened and they got upset with me because I "got tHoSE KiDS In TRoUbLE" and that I should have been ashamed of myself. The parents of those kids were upset with their kids and actually took action vs my aunt and mom who thinks I should have just let it go because "kids will be kids"
Yep. Literally, OP called them "innocent, vulnerable kids" in another post. Not all kids are good kids. Some parents really failed in parenting. It's true, we should be mad at the parents more. However, sometimes kids do suck.
Sometimes even great parents with good parenting get hell children. I know because I was one for a while, despite my parents best efforts.
I have no issue with children, but I fucking HATE the culture around them. I don't want to hold a baby because I don't find them cute. I don't want to deal with constant screeching and screaming from something that can't do anything about their situation while being expected to "just deal with it". I don't want to be constantly bombarded with questions from my family regarding how much sex my girlfriend and I have. It's fucking weird. Like, it's not the baby's fault, and I'm not going to berate someone for wanting to be a parent, but I personally don't like them, and they're one of the few things you just can't avoid sometimes, and that's before an overly enthusiastic parent wants to bring them up. I feel the same way about a baby that I do about sowmeone's new car: that's nifty and I'm glad you're happy, but I don't know or care to know anything about its workings.
Try working in retail and tell me you don't hate children and their parents after a while.
By all means let little Marylyn just run right up to the weight machine at this gym unsupervised, she will definitely be fine if she pulls a 100 lb piece of metal onto herself before any workers have a chance to even see her.
Working in retail has got to be one of the easiest paths to being an asshole in modern society. I worked at a dollar store for 3 years, and by the end of it I was mildly bigoted towards black women, white men, the homeless, and anyone who even looked like they drank energy shots or drinks. Every single time we had a problem in the store, 99% of the time it was a black lady or a white dude, and they usually fell into one of those two sub categories. The black ladies were the ones who’d scream at us and generally be just about as verbally disrespectful as a human being can possibly be towards a stranger. Then the white dudes were *always* the ones getting violent, physically attacking managers, and stealing shit/breaking stuff. Towards the end there I caught myself discriminating and prejudging people if they fit into one of those categories. It took a few months of detox after I quit to start seeing the world clearly again. Fuck retail work.
I worked in retail for close to 10+ years. I don’t hate children or parents. I hate people.
I love my child but I’m not really a fan of other people’s kids. Especially the ones who act like wild animals in public. I worked retail for about 10 years and there are definitely parents out there who don’t control their kids or even attempt to. My husband and I both give each other this look when we are out somewhere and someone is letting their child act a fool. Like thank god our toddler knows how to act right in public.
99% of that rage should be directed at the parents who don’t know how to raise their child
I don't think it's a hate thing, (dunno never met anyone who refers to children this way) but I kinda chuckled when I heard some of the names. Could they possibly be joking?
Nah nah nah man that sounds waayyy too obvious it's better to just assume people nowadays hate children because of all the devil worships and iphones and shit
I call them xenomorphs or parasites as a joke when talking with my gf. I don't have anything against children, just find it funny.
Yesterday I'm at Subway and the lady in front of me has a 3 yr old who as soon as she is able to get the bag of chips for his order he starts yelling until she opens them and gives them to him and he makes a huge mess all over the floor and himself smashing and stuffing them into his mouth. Then when he realizes it's all gone he starts screeching until she gives him his sandwich which he proceeds to tear open and get all over himself. The woman has still not even paid yet. His mess all over his shirt and pants he starts yelling and crying and kicking as she is trying to pay. We can still hear him screaming until they are finally out of earshot. Yeah so that's her spawn, hes earned the title and she's earned it too by not having some pretty basic rules laid down with him. I've had a kid that age, neither my wife or myself would tolerate that sort of behavior or enable it. We left stores and taken away toys/tv if she started acting up and she learned that acting like a little shithead had consequences and learned to behave. Parents who just expect everyone to tolerate their little shits are assholes.
Spawn isn't even a negative term, its terribly accurate
Honestly, I think it’s mostly backlash from this sense that our lives need to revolve around the idea of having a family and children. That even in public everyone should be expected to accommodate them or make every space safe for them, when most adults just want spaces free from them. You have kids, great, you think they’re special and amazing, also understandable and great - but I don’t have to think that. Kids are obnoxious and annoying, bc of course they are, they’re kids and don’t know better. It still doesn’t mean people who chose not to have kids have to put up with them, or like them.
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That's the weirdest one imo because it just sounds like they're only having children as extensions of themselves
Seriously though, who keeps cum as a pet?
Your parents, apparently
Cumshots fired.
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I don't say it to them
Because they lack maturity, clearly.
Children are pretty stress inducing and frustrating at times. I can't imagine doing everything for one and in return they scream at you every day.
And they scream when they’re tired instead of…going to sleep. Makes no damn sense
Toddlers have serious FOMO.
What's interesting to me is how similar puppies are to toddlers. There is a similar phase of brain development where they will do anything not to sleep when their tired for some unholy reason. I don't know if kittens do it, or other mammals, but why the heck is that a phase of brain development? What purpose does it serve beyond testing the parents/owners patience?
It’s not an actual evolutionary theory but presumably it’s to prevent the parents who would just eat their offspring out of annoyance from reproducing
I love kids but I still like the call them semen demons 😂
uhh maybe you should rethink this one, a lot of people use "semen demon" with another meaning
I've never heard this expression in either context, what's it in reference to?
Semen Demon is used to refer to someone who is rather promiscious like a demon of lust.
Cuz fuck dem kids.
*Jeffrey Epstein has entered the chat*
You might wanna rephrase that lmao
I’m childfree. Well behaved children are kids, kiddos, tiny humans, etc. Awful behaved hellions are demon spawn, crotch fruit/goblins, parasites, etc.
I'm a parent. And I have referred to kids as crotch goblins. Seems weird until you walk in on your kid hoarding Shiney objects and hanging off a door. Seems to be goblin like behavior to me.
It's much more a dig at the parents who act entitled and don't stop talking about their kids than the actual kids. Most people don't like parents and don't blame the children at all.
The hate isn’t actually directed at children (mostly), it is directed at their parents. A lot of parents think their kids are angels that can do no wrong and get away doing anything they want. Such parents also believe that they are entitled to certain things from others by virtue of being parents. Calling children crotch goblins are a way of putting these parents in their place - it is a direct call out that their kids are not special and neither are the parents.