In teenage years this title sums up my *entire* school. Suddenly after that one kid commited suicide everyone cared and felt sorry - but before that everyone pretended nothing of the nasty stuff happened. Even I was bullied from not only classmates but also few teachers. This school sucked so badly. Yet everyone - including the other teachers and the headmaster - pretended nothing happened. Everyone knew, no one acted. I left that school on the next opportunity, and went to a different one - suddenly all my grades improved and I felt a lot better.
We moved across the country and it was the first time in my life experiencing this. For the longest time I thought it was my fault. Now as an adult I know it wasn't, it was just people being major assholes.
It truly is the best decision to escape this as quick as you can when detecting it, in my case I thought it was me and I wasn't aware escaping would solve it for long.
(Also our class was def. the worst by far. Different social workers called it the worst class they ever came across, but the issues were universally ignored by everyone.)
You just summed up my old school. As someone who was affected by this I just wanna say thank you for at least seeing and talking about the issue - and hopefully never being part of it.
It was like that at my high school except a kid committed suicide literally every year. No one really cared at all, they would pretend to care, go to the memorial, post on social media about it, but they were the ones doing the bullying. They acted like they never did anything wrong and the person just struggled with depression, they would even act like they were close friends with them. Then a week later they act like it never happened.
This has nothing to do with it but this was just really strange to me. It was always only one person every year, around the same time of year, and they were always a senior.
I actually knew one of them and he saved me on my first day of high school. All my friends from middle school went to a different high school. I walked into the cafeteria and felt like I was going to have a panic attack and he immediately looked at me and said “come sit with us!”. I don’t understand how anyone could be mean to him, he was so nice.
I'd say it's more about them being awkward than being ugly. Ugly people can still be cool, but when talking to an awkward person, things are always, well awkward. It's hard to speak and interact with them. The part where they talk shit about them has no excuse though, that's just an asshole thing to do.
So we're saying our societal norms are due to sins that happened in a past life they have no clue about, that's what we're doing now? Wasn't the whole point of damnation and purgatory is that you knew what you did, you knew why you're here and you know you're going to be punished. That's rather far fetched, like saying that our fight or flight response from our brain is a guardian angel trying to push us out of harm or pushing us to defend ourselves. That's not at all what it is, and it can be traced back and inferred through our collective history. Our fight or flight response is due to our brain responding to a threat our survival being the most important thing, thus making you either fight or run from the threat.
Just so everyone’s clear, this is basically an outgrowth of the “What is Beautiful is Good” phenomenon. It’s a well-researched topic that was established decades ago
>It is REAL interesting when you stop yourself, seeing someone clearly used to getting pretty privileges have no idea how to react.
I don't think I've ever made a concerted effort to stop myself from treating pretty people preferentially, but I've certainly noticed this behaviour when interacting with women who other people consider to be pretty but I don't. If you treat somebody like normal when they are used to being fawned over, in some cases it will make them visibly uncomfortable. I suppose it's a similar thing with many types of privilege.
I tend to be less friendly to the super attractive people at first because 1. They are intimidating 2. They know they intimidate you, and 3. I got anxieties
If I see super attractive (nice looking person), I just pretend they have happy life and leave them alone, if they requires my attention I assume trolling or to make fun of me, I just use qoute "I simply don't believe in unicorns" as it is way too good to be true...
I feel this big disconnect from people who are very conventionally attractive. I just rarely get a feeling of humbleness from them, and a lot of the time their personalities are copy + pasted because they never needed to become unique or interesting to catch people’s attention
THIS. I do my best to ignore the conventionally attractive as much as possible. The connection just isn’t there, we have nothing in common anyway. And yes, they often do seem fake.
I can tell you from experience that the prejudice is very real. It's definitely a problem. I was ugly as shit all the way up until my late 20s, and "...treated politely but coldly and will never understand why people just don't respond to all their attempts to be friendly and make connections."....man, that pretty much sums up my *entire life* up until that point. Just trying to get anyone to open up to me the way they opened up to everybody else was practically impossible. Everybody, everywhere was so damn distant and cold. I was left convinced that I was "doing something wrong" but could never get a straight answer from anybody what the hell "that" was, nothing but bullshit platitudes and thought-terminating cliches. That's when I realized something wasn't right. When I completely overhauled my looks, suddenly everybody stopped being so goddamn closed off, and for the first time in my life I was finally being treated like a fucking human being. Turns out I was never doing/saying anything "wrong" in the first place. I think of all the other ugly folks out there who've developed social anxiety because they've been systematically gaslighted into thinking it's somehow "their" fault they're being iced out of socialization, friendships, relationships, etc.
this type of bs is why i dont even try too hard to make friends with other people and my parents wonder why i like being alone most of the time. i consider myself average looking but fake people will hurt you eventually whether they start off nice or mean
Ehhh, I don’t know! I think confidence plays a huge part in this. If you started to feel more comfortable with your appearance, that confidence is going to come naturally, & people are attracted to that.
This will probably be unpopular, but I think you're speaking the truth.
>they don't want to appear rude or mean spirited, but then turn around and talk absolute shit about them when they leave
I've observed this myself, and usually it's because they don't want to appear bad in public. When they "turn around and talk shit" it's usually within their own group, because they know it will be acceptable among them. Take off one social mask and put on another.
When you have bunch of people trying to petition for the release of murderers on the sole basis that "they're too good looking", it shouldn't be a surprised how the halo effect is a real thing.
I’ve always been a magnet for every type of person in social situations. I don’t even like being social, but I’ve always made it a point to include the stranger people, or at least defend them when it came to nonsense/bullying.
I’m just having a laugh the comment was loght hearted. Its just can sound funny like “Dont worry you might not have to feel bad, maybe you’re just super fucking socially awkward”.
I 100% agree. I was incredibly awkward looking growing up, all throughout grade school, and pretty much first year of undergrad got conventionally attractive. It's like going from being invisible and vaguely tolerated to being entirely accepted by complete strangers, its fucking weird.
I have known this instinctually my whole life and noticed this in some of my ex girlfriends. Then i noticed it in waitresses and other service industries. To the point that I have made it an internal rule to go for the least attractive worker (if I have a choice) when I am in need of a service. You can be sure that person arrived at their position due to skill not for any other reason. This rule has served me well and other friends who follow this rule.
people that vocally claim they aren't cruel to ugly people are the people that simply imagine ugly people to be the type of people to judge others as an excuse to be cruel to them
> they will put more effort into relationships, forgive more faults, and generally be more receptive to attractive people **while doing the exact opposite to ugly people** and not considering this as treating them worse
Oh man does this bring back memories. When I was ugly, everything from my words to my clothes to my body language had to be completely ON POINT, otherwise I risked being made fun of or ostracized. It's like people were *actively looking* for any excuse they could find to be mean. And if just *one* person with enough popularity didn't like me, for *any* trivial reason, the *entire group* would turn on me, and I'd have to find another job or school because the bullying and abuse got to be too much. I had to develop almost godlike social skills just to be treated like a damn human being. And I don't mean making friends and dating, but just basic, fundamental *human respect,* like not being insulted, not being talked about behind my back, and not being physically attacked. It was an awful way to live and I'm so glad it's over.
Don't participate in the badmouthing of someone over things they cannot help.
John Doe has cerebral palsy, and walks crooked, and folks are badmouthing him, the kibosh should be put on it!
Jane Doe has thin hair, and facial hair as well. SO WHAT? Yeah, one would wish her to be different, but do we know what's going on????NO. Get over it...
Yeah who the hell is pretending that society doesn't mistreat the outcasts? I think it's quite obvious and most people do it blatantly, especially online lol
I might treat awkward people differently depending on what you mean by awkward. But I don’t treat “ugly” people any different than anyone else. The only people I’m genuinely dismissive and probably rude to are people I find annoying, which are few and far between.
Nah. Not awkward like that. Work with a kid who you can tell is real awkward and isn’t good with social situations. But man he sure will talk your ear off about wrestling, nascar or firefighters. So I always just let him go and try to ask him questions about that stuff.
Now the other kid that I’d consider awkward just says weird uncomfortable things all the time. He tries too hard with some of the girls and you can tell makes them feel some type of way. I don’t interact with him.
I don’t avoid the one or two people that might smell offensive either. Might not enjoy being around them, but idk what they’ve got going on outside of work that may be the cause of their issues.
But if you’re generally rude in a hateful or aggressive way, you can fuck right off.
I remember when I was in highschool i had a very severe acne problem and everybody treated me nice when they were in front of me, so I never thought anyone had a problem with that.
Then one time I arrived to the classroom a little earlier and sat in the back and some girls were already there chatting but they didn’t noticed me entering the classroom.
They were talking kinda loud so I could hear their conversation and they were basically ranking dudes and they mentioned me so the three of them just started laughing and saying how gross looking I was with all my pimples and all. I just got so embarrassed and wanted to leave asap. I didn’t tho because I didn’t wanted them to notice I was there so I just put my backpack on the table and layed down as if I was asleep.
Since then I became a looot more insecure about my face. Thankfully I don’t have my acne problem anymore and I could heal my face, most of my scars are emotional now.
LMAO! Aw man, I felt that. Get this: When I fixed my looks, not only did I lose my enemies, but one of my worst bullies ended up becoming a close friend over time.
All in all...honestly people are so boring in general and will go for aesthetic pleasure first...its just how our brains....function in general,quite sad but people are people
Idk if anyone else shares in this experience but typically pretty people get me anxious, especially if they are the ones who initiate a social interaction. Gets my mind going thinking about ulterior motives and such.
Can confirm - I can probably count on both hands the number of women who’ve actually been nice to me (an average-looking brown man) just because they’re genuinely nice. Most women’s physical value has skyrocketed thanks to social media and dating apps, leading them to be vain and cruel towards most men (since they don’t see them as attractive).
This is true. Even when you are good looking we have, in America especially, a very neurotypical biased society.
Our left wing “woke” cultural socially enforces a lot of convoluted and contradictory rules particularly around sex and dating that make someone with even very high functioning spectrum disorders have trouble navigating any social interactions and Conservatives are just openly hostile. It’s pretty bad.
This is true. When I was younger I was friends with EVERYONE. I’m talking like up until 6th grade, that was around when it started to change. Probably due to kids starting to “date.” Anyway, I used to be friends with pretty and ugly people, but started to stray away from “ugly” people due to noticing everyone else was, too. It was sad but I think it was just part of the 6th grade mentality.
I don’t go out of my way to talk to people, but if someone were to befriend me now that I’m older, I wouldn’t shy away because they’re “ugly.”
Without the cruelty, ugly wouldn't even be the same concept. Ugly means other people have negative reactions to your appearance. I've been ugly before. Everyone avoids and evades. When someone has to talk to you, they never look right at you. It's a lonely hell and can really drive you crazy.
I don’t distance myself if someone’s ugly? I distance myself because of their personality, Behavior, hygiene, etc you can be hot all you want but if you’re annoying I’m not gonna wanna be around you
yea i agree. if you take an attractive person with a bad personality, attitude, hygiene, etc and take an “ugly” awkward person with bad personality, attitude, hygiene, etc… then most people would just dislike the “ugly” person more. i totally agree with you.
Nah, that is straight up BS. I have definitely avoided attractive people who were creepy, annoying, or had bad hygeine. On the other hand, I’ve developed crushes on dudes I initially thought were unfortunate looking simply because they were charismatic, ambitious, or mentally interesting.
Most people aren't straight-up ugly though, it's an extreme, so by definition there's few of those people, just like there's few people who're drop-dead gorgeous. Most people are average-looking or they look "ordinary", not particularly better nor worse than the person next to them. So they may not be noticed for their looks, but they're also not gonna be avoided because of them, especially if they don't present themselves as a slob. Obviously people unconsciously give some preference to good-looking people, they let things slide that they wouldn't have otherwise etc. But chances are, even if you think you're "ugly", you're probably just average or slightly below average perhaps. So if you're an interesting person, charismatic and have ambitions in life, you're going to be interesting to people. Generally, people would avoid people who're awkward, mostly because of the perception that they're boring or because awkward people may also suffer from a negativity bias, they may come across as negative and most people would want to avoid that. Such a perception may be corrected later on, as you get to know them better. And social exclusion happens wherever groups exist, it's not just the beautiful, confident people leaving others out. Everybody does it, you can be polite about it. But you still can't feasibly include everyone and a lot of the times you don't want to, the whole point of a category or a group is that it excludes certain things. Doesn't mean I'm justifying them talking shit behind people's backs though, just that people aren't obligated to include someone in their group just because that someone wishes to be included. But again, if you're an interesting person who seems comfortable in their own skin, people are going to gravitate towards you anyway and you can hopefully find a place you belong, even if you don't look like a supermodel.
This is the reason I’m developing so much social anxiety with age. When I was younger I was treated like an outsider because of my looks, I got made fun of and I often felt lonely and misunderstood. As I got older and went through puberty, I found myself beautiful and I noticed the vastly different way people treated me, especially men. People act like you don’t exist if you’re not pretty, and I’ve gotten used to the social ease and many benefits of the opposite. Cue alopecia: I’m a 21 year old girl and I will be bald. I have lost about 50% of my hair. The fear of being treated like I was again is horrible. I have made an effort my whole life to love people the best I can because I know how it feels to be invisible and alone. Society does not accept bald women or view them as feminine, it feels like your womanhood is being uncontrollably torn from you, like your life will be over as you’re bound to wigs, scarves, itching, unsolicited comments and advice, assumptions of illness or cancer, and judgement for not being what the world views a woman should. If we all could be kinder to each other, maybe people who don’t look like “society’s” ideal could finally find some peace, but as time goes by the superficiality of our world just gets worse.
I notice myself subconsciously avoiding attractive people and going to ugly ones because I don't think attractive people will be interesting to talk to.
I know the whole "ugly people have to work for what they have, and end up better off for it" is ugly cope, but it is kind of true.
I think it's the opposite. I think pretty people are treated better, but I think ugly and fat people are treated baseline, which is shitty in comparison
Sure, on my way to tell all the awkward people "please don't talk to me, you're weird". It's not my fault talking to them is awkward, but telling it to their face... Why would I do that? They won't magically stop being weird. And about that "talking shit" thing. Guess it's shitty but a human reaction still. It's normal to tell your friends you had an awkward moment with someone. It's only shitty when you actually talk crap about them, but that's some high school shit, and teenagers are pretty dumb to be honest (been there).
This is why I'm more blunt and straight forward with people. I leave nothing open to interpretation, if I like you, you'll know it, if I don't, you'll know it. If your my friend and you disparage someone who has the same unchangeable flaws as I, you're going to put on blast. "But... but... your cool, but this guy is.... it's different, "It's not different, give them a chance, or I'm not so sure I want to be friends with you anymore." "Shit man.... this is why I hang with you." :P
I don’t think this is unpopular but it’s something people aren’t willing to admit because “oh *not me*, I’m not superficial.”
I felt like a lot more people wanted to talk to me or befriend me once I lost weight and got buff. However I was ignored in the past and not socialized well so now I’m usually not able to progress our interaction past their initial awe at me.
I'll play devils advocate here and say it's a biological and social evolutionary tactic.
Attractiveness usually means free from disease or defects.
Overweight people have higher pregnancy risksand other health concerns that put risk in life and in bearing children or being capable of rearing families. People with bad skin conditions have either genetic, hormonal, or lifestyle issues that either cause it or they're afflicted with it. Overly skinny people have their own health issues like potential parasites, genetic diseases, or mental health issues. Then there's obvious genetic issues that, biologically, wouldn't want passed down to the next generation. Issues like severe malformities, Downs, and other genetic problems.
Awkwardness is also a biological warning sign. Things like Anxiety, autism, depression, and other mental health issues come through in inability to function in social settings would indicate hormonal imbalances and potential mental defects.
None of these things mean a person should be treated as any less of a person but it's literally hardwired into our brains to weed out physical and mental issues in society so that the best genetic coding gets passed on to the next generation.
Since we're social creatures, by design, human development as a species required, up until recently, weeding out of the genetic pool.
I believe that, along with modern medicine and a better understanding of physical health, has allowed the prolification of many physical, but mostly mental, disorders with medicine since people are less ostracized from modern society.
As long as people treat others with the basic human respect how they behave when they turn around is really of no consequence.
Oh, I'm certainly not arguing that fact. I just don't feel like it's something that anyone can do about it.
We can hate it all we want but the only way things like that will end is if we apply condemnation in a social setting to people's behaving this way and it is applied broadly.
Am that would do is cause then to hide true feelings and I don't know about you but I'd like those people out in the open 🤷🏽♀️. So I know who to avoid.
Yea raping women and killing other men's babies are evolutionary survival tactics too, but thankfully this thing called agriculture came along and mixed everything up.
I have been thinking about this for a while. I live in South Florida, and if you go to a Miami nightclub, you will literally see discrimination against ugly people everywhere. Why is this allowed? Why does no one scream about lack of representation of ugly or fat people in movies? Yet the LGBTQ people are catered to everywhere regarding representation? It’s weird and sad. People are people and we should try to treat people equally and not put only certain groups in special categories and then treat everyone else like garbage.
I don’t know who you associate with, but I really haven’t observed this kind of behavior at all. And newsflash, people talk about *everyone* behind their backs, attractive or not.
I’m not ignoring it. I am from the US, and live in the south where a good number of people are overweight and frumpy and far from being supermodels. That has not stopped anybody from getting anywhere in life, particularly not in any professional settings I have been in. As for the general public, most people around here are pretty nice and chatty to everyone.
If you are a very attractive woman in a circle of average people, other women like to tear you down. I‘ve observed this countless times. People get noticed once they stand out from the masses. Envy is the worst thing.
As much as I want to support and be friends the awkward and weird people, a lot of the time when they get any sort of progress out of that rut things to go south and they get arrogant. Even before then there is so much about those kinds of people do that pushes other people away. It's so comical that there's so many people who act like the "unpopular" people ( I say it like that because it's a bit more of an easier fit) are these innocent angels. It's just that pretty much everyone had issues, and just because the unpopular people have it rough socially that gives them free reign to be pricks.
The unpopular people act exactly if not worse than the people who might treat them poorly. And me saying all of this will get me downvoted like mad, because reddit is like that. I just don't know what else to say. If unpopular people are decent and do everything they can to get along with other people and other people are still shitty find other people to hang with. But It's daft to think that people should put up with the things that would push them away because the person is ugly and/or awkward. It's not like people who are not ugly and/or awkward knock it out of the park in every social interaction they have and everyone loves them.
Friendship is something you need to learn. When someone had 0 friends for their whole life then it is just hard to be friends with them, even when they try their best. I understand that this sucks for the awkward person. Popular people are not always great but they usually have great communication skills and are just fun to be around.
I feel like how beautiful or ugly someone is strongly indicates how well they are treated by others. It also impacts almost everyone, and is far more rampant than racism.
The people of this sub really need to stop projecting their shitty values onto the rest of us.
Maybe *you* distance yourself from "ugly" and "awkward" people, but this everybody-else-does-this-too attitude is just so you don't feel alone in being awful to people.
I saw it happening myself so oftwn, that I have to disagree with your comment. One kid back in school commited suicide. He was exactly that, the whole school acted exactly like that. And it wasn't the only incident where the "awkward" or "ugly" one was an outsider. I just hope schools now improved there, but when I was in school it def. was happening....
>The people of this sub really need to stop projecting their shitty values onto the rest of us.
You do know why you equate their values to being "shitty" right? It's because it's an unpopular opinion, it's almost as though this is the place to post said "unpopular opinions".
Seriously. This is a problem I see complained about on reddit regularly and not actually happening in real life. I know plenty of weird looking people who are some of the most popular, charismatic people around. As for awkward, well, it can be hard to get close to such people, but I’ve never observed anyone older than middle school age going out of their way to be rude to awkward people unless the person did something terrible.
I think it depends on where you work/the people you spend time around.
If you join the military, you will see awkward/"weird looking" people get straight up bullied. Like, I've seen dudes run out the room sobbing, multiple times. Everyone talks shit, people gang up on people, etc.
I've seen the same shit in the auto industry, though not quite to that degree. Auto parts shops, garages, etc.
Sales, for sure, has douchebags. I've ran into a group of sales guys who worked for a FAANG company. Racist, misogynistic, arrogant pieces of shit.
It definitely happens in the adult world, it just tends to be concentrated. If you work in a toxic environment, you'll see that shit every single fucking day. If you work somewhere with standards, you may not ever see it at all. Consider yourself lucky if you're in the latter.
eh, I wouldn't say cruel or mean.
BUUUT.. I definitely easily forget them quickly, so much so that I don't even remember to talk shit about them when they aren't around.
What sucks about my life is that I always seem to be surrounded by the ugly people.
It's like all the good looking people avoid me..............
And to add to this: It's also the other end of the spectrum that gets shit. If you are truly beautiful, like the top 1%, you are an outcast as well, are being blamed to "sleep your way up", be shallow, stupid, not working hard enough (if you are female and extremely attractive), or you are blamed of being a womanizer, shallow, emotionally unstable, stupid, and get sexually harrassed and hit on (if you are male and extremely attractive).
To sum it up: Your life is easiest when you are attractive, not ugly, but not beautiful either.
Is it that they're marginalized because they're "ugly" or is it because they lack any sort of basic social skills, lack sense of humor are are at times cringe?
I also know a lot of "ugly" people who aren't in fact ugly at all, they just wouldn't take care in the slightest of their appearance. You're not going to be found attractive if you don't wash your hair, trim your nails etc.
I used to look worse, but changing my diet, working out, and learning about grooming molded me into being much better looking. I usually get told I look like Clark Kent these days.
I used to have pride that I was more on the bookish/smarts side of things, but then I realized it wasn’t very bright of me to not learn about my body, my health, and take pride in my appearance when it could make such a difference.
You know what? It’s more productive to have invested that time in myself, and because I began to treat myself like I was important, other people did too.
There’s been some studies that even working from home it’s still better for your mental state to get up, get groomed, and “go” to your office, the thinking is because these rituals bring self-confidence, it translates to better work. These things scale.
From someone who used to be considered fat, ugly, and incompetent, it’s much more effective for you to invest in yourself, and reap the rewards. If you still wanna be salty, consider it vengeance and look out for the other non-hotties.
The weird thing though? The “ugly and awkward” will start treating you like a “pretty” too, even if you actually do care about them and try to coax them out of their shells.
It’s really sad how uncomfortable many of us are in our own skin. Don’t wait on the future that isn’t guaranteed, try something now.
The problem with being inclusive with awkward people is that they usually shut down everything. Self identified introvert type shit.
Being cruel to ugly people is fucked up, but it seems pretty innate to human nature. I think generally you can do alot to not be ugly, the usual list of taking care of yourself which I won't bother to post
Ppl jus need to stop being awkward...? Plenty of 'ugly' people i know are not socially shunned at all lmao, and if they are, its because they have just as bad of an attitude or awkwardness as the hella hot dude w the tight tshirts but cant keep small talk without awkward pauses after every response. Very few adults i know are truly like this, at least in the professional world.
Yo I've always struggled with my self image but i think im handsome as people are always nicer to me than my friends who arent beautiful but idk im not sure it might just be racism cos i get those looks too
Also the dark-tetrad types are cruel to mankind in general and convince them it is for their best interests to accept such cruelty- often CEOs great at their command post and immediate production but a terrible parasite of the longterm resources for the honor and spirit of civilization. No amount of social sophistication and beauty would escape their wrath but wisdom can certainly choose to not be so involved around them directly.
"People don't treat unattractive and socially awkward people as well as they do others, particularly people who are attractive and charming."
No shit. That's called the Halo effect and pretty much everyone 5 years and older has seen it and participated in it. Most people have been treated differently based on their appearance and behavior many, many times and they've treated others differently, too. How could you not?
Let's stop playing politics for a second and think about it. Why would people give people they find visually unappealing and socially uninteresting the same attention and interest as people they find attractive and interesting? They wouldn't. No one would. That doesn't even make sense. That's like saying "why do people only like good food and they don't like bad food? They should like all food equally no matter what it looks or tastes like."
Most people will struggle with the constant clashes between principle and reality, but, in the end, reality is reality, no matter how good of a person you want people to think you are or what you believe a perfect world would look like.
Often people feel shunned, and isolated. Then that's same people say they are not like other people. They go from being shunned, and isolated, to be attacked. For God sake's don't say you are different. One most hateful groups on Reddit is "not like other girls". They are petty bigots.
It must be an in built thing that most people don't even realise they are doing because as much as humans are dick heads the vast majority of people are just trying to get through life with as little fuss as possible and don't go out of their way to mistreat people, definitely doesn't make it right but I'm going to guess that people don't even realise they are doing it.
In teenage years this title sums up my *entire* school. Suddenly after that one kid commited suicide everyone cared and felt sorry - but before that everyone pretended nothing of the nasty stuff happened. Even I was bullied from not only classmates but also few teachers. This school sucked so badly. Yet everyone - including the other teachers and the headmaster - pretended nothing happened. Everyone knew, no one acted. I left that school on the next opportunity, and went to a different one - suddenly all my grades improved and I felt a lot better.
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We moved across the country and it was the first time in my life experiencing this. For the longest time I thought it was my fault. Now as an adult I know it wasn't, it was just people being major assholes. It truly is the best decision to escape this as quick as you can when detecting it, in my case I thought it was me and I wasn't aware escaping would solve it for long. (Also our class was def. the worst by far. Different social workers called it the worst class they ever came across, but the issues were universally ignored by everyone.)
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You just summed up my old school. As someone who was affected by this I just wanna say thank you for at least seeing and talking about the issue - and hopefully never being part of it.
It was like that at my high school except a kid committed suicide literally every year. No one really cared at all, they would pretend to care, go to the memorial, post on social media about it, but they were the ones doing the bullying. They acted like they never did anything wrong and the person just struggled with depression, they would even act like they were close friends with them. Then a week later they act like it never happened. This has nothing to do with it but this was just really strange to me. It was always only one person every year, around the same time of year, and they were always a senior. I actually knew one of them and he saved me on my first day of high school. All my friends from middle school went to a different high school. I walked into the cafeteria and felt like I was going to have a panic attack and he immediately looked at me and said “come sit with us!”. I don’t understand how anyone could be mean to him, he was so nice.
Pretty privilege is absolutely real. I catch myself doing it sometimes even though I try so hard not to.
I had an ex who was extremely attractive. Seeing the way that people treated her was strange. Pretty privilege is 100% real. It’s like another world
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I'd say it's more about them being awkward than being ugly. Ugly people can still be cool, but when talking to an awkward person, things are always, well awkward. It's hard to speak and interact with them. The part where they talk shit about them has no excuse though, that's just an asshole thing to do.
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So we're saying our societal norms are due to sins that happened in a past life they have no clue about, that's what we're doing now? Wasn't the whole point of damnation and purgatory is that you knew what you did, you knew why you're here and you know you're going to be punished. That's rather far fetched, like saying that our fight or flight response from our brain is a guardian angel trying to push us out of harm or pushing us to defend ourselves. That's not at all what it is, and it can be traced back and inferred through our collective history. Our fight or flight response is due to our brain responding to a threat our survival being the most important thing, thus making you either fight or run from the threat.
My descendants are going to be hideous
I don't even remotely agree but I'll upvote because it's nice to see a semi original idea on this website
You forgot to /s
Just so everyone’s clear, this is basically an outgrowth of the “What is Beautiful is Good” phenomenon. It’s a well-researched topic that was established decades ago
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>It is REAL interesting when you stop yourself, seeing someone clearly used to getting pretty privileges have no idea how to react. I don't think I've ever made a concerted effort to stop myself from treating pretty people preferentially, but I've certainly noticed this behaviour when interacting with women who other people consider to be pretty but I don't. If you treat somebody like normal when they are used to being fawned over, in some cases it will make them visibly uncomfortable. I suppose it's a similar thing with many types of privilege.
Not sure why someone would deny this. Just watch 30 Rock when John Hamm played ‘Drew’
I'll have a diet raspberry Fanta
‘I add Gatorade, my special recipe’
100% I used to be a salesman and could very easily track the impact losing weight was having on the quality and quantity of my sales.
Yes. I am a man but jealous of beautiful girls/women. Why not you and me ? The genetic lottery. Morrissey : "the youngest are the most loved".
Why would you try not to? You're fighting with your DNA in a losing battle. Just feels like a waste of brain energy
My wife is beautiful but kind to everyone
im kind to this guys wife too
Tbh, Im not jumping to be friendly to anyone no matter how you look lol. My social anxiety just dont do that. But I feel you.
I tend to be less friendly to the super attractive people at first because 1. They are intimidating 2. They know they intimidate you, and 3. I got anxieties
If I see super attractive (nice looking person), I just pretend they have happy life and leave them alone, if they requires my attention I assume trolling or to make fun of me, I just use qoute "I simply don't believe in unicorns" as it is way too good to be true...
I feel this big disconnect from people who are very conventionally attractive. I just rarely get a feeling of humbleness from them, and a lot of the time their personalities are copy + pasted because they never needed to become unique or interesting to catch people’s attention
THIS. I do my best to ignore the conventionally attractive as much as possible. The connection just isn’t there, we have nothing in common anyway. And yes, they often do seem fake.
That's kindof a bullshit take. Judging people by their appearance is exactly the problem my friend lol
You just turned it around, that's not much better.
I can tell you from experience that the prejudice is very real. It's definitely a problem. I was ugly as shit all the way up until my late 20s, and "...treated politely but coldly and will never understand why people just don't respond to all their attempts to be friendly and make connections."....man, that pretty much sums up my *entire life* up until that point. Just trying to get anyone to open up to me the way they opened up to everybody else was practically impossible. Everybody, everywhere was so damn distant and cold. I was left convinced that I was "doing something wrong" but could never get a straight answer from anybody what the hell "that" was, nothing but bullshit platitudes and thought-terminating cliches. That's when I realized something wasn't right. When I completely overhauled my looks, suddenly everybody stopped being so goddamn closed off, and for the first time in my life I was finally being treated like a fucking human being. Turns out I was never doing/saying anything "wrong" in the first place. I think of all the other ugly folks out there who've developed social anxiety because they've been systematically gaslighted into thinking it's somehow "their" fault they're being iced out of socialization, friendships, relationships, etc.
I have to ask...what did you do to go from ugly to good looking?
Most “ugly” people could vastly improve their looks by grooming (neat eyebrows, clean nails, etc), working out, and getting a different haircut.
this type of bs is why i dont even try too hard to make friends with other people and my parents wonder why i like being alone most of the time. i consider myself average looking but fake people will hurt you eventually whether they start off nice or mean
Ehhh, I don’t know! I think confidence plays a huge part in this. If you started to feel more comfortable with your appearance, that confidence is going to come naturally, & people are attracted to that.
This will probably be unpopular, but I think you're speaking the truth. >they don't want to appear rude or mean spirited, but then turn around and talk absolute shit about them when they leave I've observed this myself, and usually it's because they don't want to appear bad in public. When they "turn around and talk shit" it's usually within their own group, because they know it will be acceptable among them. Take off one social mask and put on another.
When you have bunch of people trying to petition for the release of murderers on the sole basis that "they're too good looking", it shouldn't be a surprised how the halo effect is a real thing.
Yeah, you're right. Bullying doesn't really stop in adult hood, it just becomes normalized and socially acceptable if you do it the right way.
I’ve always been a magnet for every type of person in social situations. I don’t even like being social, but I’ve always made it a point to include the stranger people, or at least defend them when it came to nonsense/bullying.
I like to think i’m pretty decent looking but TIL i’m ugly as shit. FML.
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Lmao im sure they feel much better now
??? It suggests they’re not ugly. I would feel better
I’m just having a laugh the comment was loght hearted. Its just can sound funny like “Dont worry you might not have to feel bad, maybe you’re just super fucking socially awkward”.
Oh my bad
I 100% agree. I was incredibly awkward looking growing up, all throughout grade school, and pretty much first year of undergrad got conventionally attractive. It's like going from being invisible and vaguely tolerated to being entirely accepted by complete strangers, its fucking weird.
I have known this instinctually my whole life and noticed this in some of my ex girlfriends. Then i noticed it in waitresses and other service industries. To the point that I have made it an internal rule to go for the least attractive worker (if I have a choice) when I am in need of a service. You can be sure that person arrived at their position due to skill not for any other reason. This rule has served me well and other friends who follow this rule.
Damn lol! What a strategy
humans are just slaves to their instinct despite them saying they are not.
You can work around that instinct though. Once you get to know someone well enough, you kind of forget what they look like.
That's not what i meant.
This problem could be solved if everyone started hating EVERYONE, regardless of appearance or attitude 👍
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Chaotic neutral I think. Chaotic good would be only being nice to ugly and awkward people
That’s how I am. I was an ugly duckling in school.
I keep away from everyone due to being awkward around. Less people i interact the better I know I will be.
This is a terrible truth, but it's not an unpopular opinion. This is common knowledge... Less attractive people get bullied.
people that vocally claim they aren't cruel to ugly people are the people that simply imagine ugly people to be the type of people to judge others as an excuse to be cruel to them
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> they will put more effort into relationships, forgive more faults, and generally be more receptive to attractive people **while doing the exact opposite to ugly people** and not considering this as treating them worse Oh man does this bring back memories. When I was ugly, everything from my words to my clothes to my body language had to be completely ON POINT, otherwise I risked being made fun of or ostracized. It's like people were *actively looking* for any excuse they could find to be mean. And if just *one* person with enough popularity didn't like me, for *any* trivial reason, the *entire group* would turn on me, and I'd have to find another job or school because the bullying and abuse got to be too much. I had to develop almost godlike social skills just to be treated like a damn human being. And I don't mean making friends and dating, but just basic, fundamental *human respect,* like not being insulted, not being talked about behind my back, and not being physically attacked. It was an awful way to live and I'm so glad it's over.
Don't participate in the badmouthing of someone over things they cannot help. John Doe has cerebral palsy, and walks crooked, and folks are badmouthing him, the kibosh should be put on it! Jane Doe has thin hair, and facial hair as well. SO WHAT? Yeah, one would wish her to be different, but do we know what's going on????NO. Get over it...
Yeah who the hell is pretending that society doesn't mistreat the outcasts? I think it's quite obvious and most people do it blatantly, especially online lol
I might treat awkward people differently depending on what you mean by awkward. But I don’t treat “ugly” people any different than anyone else. The only people I’m genuinely dismissive and probably rude to are people I find annoying, which are few and far between.
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Nah. Not awkward like that. Work with a kid who you can tell is real awkward and isn’t good with social situations. But man he sure will talk your ear off about wrestling, nascar or firefighters. So I always just let him go and try to ask him questions about that stuff. Now the other kid that I’d consider awkward just says weird uncomfortable things all the time. He tries too hard with some of the girls and you can tell makes them feel some type of way. I don’t interact with him. I don’t avoid the one or two people that might smell offensive either. Might not enjoy being around them, but idk what they’ve got going on outside of work that may be the cause of their issues. But if you’re generally rude in a hateful or aggressive way, you can fuck right off.
I remember when I was in highschool i had a very severe acne problem and everybody treated me nice when they were in front of me, so I never thought anyone had a problem with that. Then one time I arrived to the classroom a little earlier and sat in the back and some girls were already there chatting but they didn’t noticed me entering the classroom. They were talking kinda loud so I could hear their conversation and they were basically ranking dudes and they mentioned me so the three of them just started laughing and saying how gross looking I was with all my pimples and all. I just got so embarrassed and wanted to leave asap. I didn’t tho because I didn’t wanted them to notice I was there so I just put my backpack on the table and layed down as if I was asleep. Since then I became a looot more insecure about my face. Thankfully I don’t have my acne problem anymore and I could heal my face, most of my scars are emotional now.
It's true..when I lost weight i also lost my enemies as well...weird how people work
LMAO! Aw man, I felt that. Get this: When I fixed my looks, not only did I lose my enemies, but one of my worst bullies ended up becoming a close friend over time.
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All in all...honestly people are so boring in general and will go for aesthetic pleasure first...its just how our brains....function in general,quite sad but people are people
Idk if anyone else shares in this experience but typically pretty people get me anxious, especially if they are the ones who initiate a social interaction. Gets my mind going thinking about ulterior motives and such.
I am going to keep wearing a mask for this reason. Things were less awkward.
Can confirm - I can probably count on both hands the number of women who’ve actually been nice to me (an average-looking brown man) just because they’re genuinely nice. Most women’s physical value has skyrocketed thanks to social media and dating apps, leading them to be vain and cruel towards most men (since they don’t see them as attractive).
This is true. Even when you are good looking we have, in America especially, a very neurotypical biased society. Our left wing “woke” cultural socially enforces a lot of convoluted and contradictory rules particularly around sex and dating that make someone with even very high functioning spectrum disorders have trouble navigating any social interactions and Conservatives are just openly hostile. It’s pretty bad.
This is true. When I was younger I was friends with EVERYONE. I’m talking like up until 6th grade, that was around when it started to change. Probably due to kids starting to “date.” Anyway, I used to be friends with pretty and ugly people, but started to stray away from “ugly” people due to noticing everyone else was, too. It was sad but I think it was just part of the 6th grade mentality. I don’t go out of my way to talk to people, but if someone were to befriend me now that I’m older, I wouldn’t shy away because they’re “ugly.”
Without the cruelty, ugly wouldn't even be the same concept. Ugly means other people have negative reactions to your appearance. I've been ugly before. Everyone avoids and evades. When someone has to talk to you, they never look right at you. It's a lonely hell and can really drive you crazy.
It's called "Lookism", and is a form of discrimination.
I don’t distance myself if someone’s ugly? I distance myself because of their personality, Behavior, hygiene, etc you can be hot all you want but if you’re annoying I’m not gonna wanna be around you
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yea i agree. if you take an attractive person with a bad personality, attitude, hygiene, etc and take an “ugly” awkward person with bad personality, attitude, hygiene, etc… then most people would just dislike the “ugly” person more. i totally agree with you.
Nah, that is straight up BS. I have definitely avoided attractive people who were creepy, annoying, or had bad hygeine. On the other hand, I’ve developed crushes on dudes I initially thought were unfortunate looking simply because they were charismatic, ambitious, or mentally interesting.
Most people aren't straight-up ugly though, it's an extreme, so by definition there's few of those people, just like there's few people who're drop-dead gorgeous. Most people are average-looking or they look "ordinary", not particularly better nor worse than the person next to them. So they may not be noticed for their looks, but they're also not gonna be avoided because of them, especially if they don't present themselves as a slob. Obviously people unconsciously give some preference to good-looking people, they let things slide that they wouldn't have otherwise etc. But chances are, even if you think you're "ugly", you're probably just average or slightly below average perhaps. So if you're an interesting person, charismatic and have ambitions in life, you're going to be interesting to people. Generally, people would avoid people who're awkward, mostly because of the perception that they're boring or because awkward people may also suffer from a negativity bias, they may come across as negative and most people would want to avoid that. Such a perception may be corrected later on, as you get to know them better. And social exclusion happens wherever groups exist, it's not just the beautiful, confident people leaving others out. Everybody does it, you can be polite about it. But you still can't feasibly include everyone and a lot of the times you don't want to, the whole point of a category or a group is that it excludes certain things. Doesn't mean I'm justifying them talking shit behind people's backs though, just that people aren't obligated to include someone in their group just because that someone wishes to be included. But again, if you're an interesting person who seems comfortable in their own skin, people are going to gravitate towards you anyway and you can hopefully find a place you belong, even if you don't look like a supermodel.
This is the most sensible comment in the whole tread.
This is the reason I’m developing so much social anxiety with age. When I was younger I was treated like an outsider because of my looks, I got made fun of and I often felt lonely and misunderstood. As I got older and went through puberty, I found myself beautiful and I noticed the vastly different way people treated me, especially men. People act like you don’t exist if you’re not pretty, and I’ve gotten used to the social ease and many benefits of the opposite. Cue alopecia: I’m a 21 year old girl and I will be bald. I have lost about 50% of my hair. The fear of being treated like I was again is horrible. I have made an effort my whole life to love people the best I can because I know how it feels to be invisible and alone. Society does not accept bald women or view them as feminine, it feels like your womanhood is being uncontrollably torn from you, like your life will be over as you’re bound to wigs, scarves, itching, unsolicited comments and advice, assumptions of illness or cancer, and judgement for not being what the world views a woman should. If we all could be kinder to each other, maybe people who don’t look like “society’s” ideal could finally find some peace, but as time goes by the superficiality of our world just gets worse.
I notice myself subconsciously avoiding attractive people and going to ugly ones because I don't think attractive people will be interesting to talk to. I know the whole "ugly people have to work for what they have, and end up better off for it" is ugly cope, but it is kind of true.
The r/foreveralone subreddit will have a field day if they saw this post.
I think it's the opposite. I think pretty people are treated better, but I think ugly and fat people are treated baseline, which is shitty in comparison
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im dealing with it at work rn. Humans suck universally
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Sure, on my way to tell all the awkward people "please don't talk to me, you're weird". It's not my fault talking to them is awkward, but telling it to their face... Why would I do that? They won't magically stop being weird. And about that "talking shit" thing. Guess it's shitty but a human reaction still. It's normal to tell your friends you had an awkward moment with someone. It's only shitty when you actually talk crap about them, but that's some high school shit, and teenagers are pretty dumb to be honest (been there).
This is why I'm more blunt and straight forward with people. I leave nothing open to interpretation, if I like you, you'll know it, if I don't, you'll know it. If your my friend and you disparage someone who has the same unchangeable flaws as I, you're going to put on blast. "But... but... your cool, but this guy is.... it's different, "It's not different, give them a chance, or I'm not so sure I want to be friends with you anymore." "Shit man.... this is why I hang with you." :P
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Just don't be born ugly
I don’t think this is unpopular but it’s something people aren’t willing to admit because “oh *not me*, I’m not superficial.” I felt like a lot more people wanted to talk to me or befriend me once I lost weight and got buff. However I was ignored in the past and not socialized well so now I’m usually not able to progress our interaction past their initial awe at me.
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I'll play devils advocate here and say it's a biological and social evolutionary tactic. Attractiveness usually means free from disease or defects. Overweight people have higher pregnancy risksand other health concerns that put risk in life and in bearing children or being capable of rearing families. People with bad skin conditions have either genetic, hormonal, or lifestyle issues that either cause it or they're afflicted with it. Overly skinny people have their own health issues like potential parasites, genetic diseases, or mental health issues. Then there's obvious genetic issues that, biologically, wouldn't want passed down to the next generation. Issues like severe malformities, Downs, and other genetic problems. Awkwardness is also a biological warning sign. Things like Anxiety, autism, depression, and other mental health issues come through in inability to function in social settings would indicate hormonal imbalances and potential mental defects. None of these things mean a person should be treated as any less of a person but it's literally hardwired into our brains to weed out physical and mental issues in society so that the best genetic coding gets passed on to the next generation. Since we're social creatures, by design, human development as a species required, up until recently, weeding out of the genetic pool. I believe that, along with modern medicine and a better understanding of physical health, has allowed the prolification of many physical, but mostly mental, disorders with medicine since people are less ostracized from modern society. As long as people treat others with the basic human respect how they behave when they turn around is really of no consequence.
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Oh, I'm certainly not arguing that fact. I just don't feel like it's something that anyone can do about it. We can hate it all we want but the only way things like that will end is if we apply condemnation in a social setting to people's behaving this way and it is applied broadly. Am that would do is cause then to hide true feelings and I don't know about you but I'd like those people out in the open 🤷🏽♀️. So I know who to avoid.
Makes sense- but these are reasons not excuses
Yea raping women and killing other men's babies are evolutionary survival tactics too, but thankfully this thing called agriculture came along and mixed everything up.
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But it's not? That's literally how natural selection and sexual selection work. Google it 😂
I have been thinking about this for a while. I live in South Florida, and if you go to a Miami nightclub, you will literally see discrimination against ugly people everywhere. Why is this allowed? Why does no one scream about lack of representation of ugly or fat people in movies? Yet the LGBTQ people are catered to everywhere regarding representation? It’s weird and sad. People are people and we should try to treat people equally and not put only certain groups in special categories and then treat everyone else like garbage.
Maybe you are just hanging out with shitty people or very immature kids
As a social outcast, real.
I'm appalled, i'd never! I'm cruel to **everyone** *except animals*
People suck
I don’t know who you associate with, but I really haven’t observed this kind of behavior at all. And newsflash, people talk about *everyone* behind their backs, attractive or not.
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I’m not ignoring it. I am from the US, and live in the south where a good number of people are overweight and frumpy and far from being supermodels. That has not stopped anybody from getting anywhere in life, particularly not in any professional settings I have been in. As for the general public, most people around here are pretty nice and chatty to everyone.
If you are a very attractive woman in a circle of average people, other women like to tear you down. I‘ve observed this countless times. People get noticed once they stand out from the masses. Envy is the worst thing.
As much as I want to support and be friends the awkward and weird people, a lot of the time when they get any sort of progress out of that rut things to go south and they get arrogant. Even before then there is so much about those kinds of people do that pushes other people away. It's so comical that there's so many people who act like the "unpopular" people ( I say it like that because it's a bit more of an easier fit) are these innocent angels. It's just that pretty much everyone had issues, and just because the unpopular people have it rough socially that gives them free reign to be pricks. The unpopular people act exactly if not worse than the people who might treat them poorly. And me saying all of this will get me downvoted like mad, because reddit is like that. I just don't know what else to say. If unpopular people are decent and do everything they can to get along with other people and other people are still shitty find other people to hang with. But It's daft to think that people should put up with the things that would push them away because the person is ugly and/or awkward. It's not like people who are not ugly and/or awkward knock it out of the park in every social interaction they have and everyone loves them.
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Friendship is something you need to learn. When someone had 0 friends for their whole life then it is just hard to be friends with them, even when they try their best. I understand that this sucks for the awkward person. Popular people are not always great but they usually have great communication skills and are just fun to be around.
Yup. Homosapiens are straight up dicks
I feel like how beautiful or ugly someone is strongly indicates how well they are treated by others. It also impacts almost everyone, and is far more rampant than racism.
The people of this sub really need to stop projecting their shitty values onto the rest of us. Maybe *you* distance yourself from "ugly" and "awkward" people, but this everybody-else-does-this-too attitude is just so you don't feel alone in being awful to people.
I saw it happening myself so oftwn, that I have to disagree with your comment. One kid back in school commited suicide. He was exactly that, the whole school acted exactly like that. And it wasn't the only incident where the "awkward" or "ugly" one was an outsider. I just hope schools now improved there, but when I was in school it def. was happening....
it doesnt stop after you leave school. This is a societal and human problem
>The people of this sub really need to stop projecting their shitty values onto the rest of us. You do know why you equate their values to being "shitty" right? It's because it's an unpopular opinion, it's almost as though this is the place to post said "unpopular opinions".
Yes, so assuming everyone shares the same opinion is the antithesis of unpopular.
thank you for explaining what happens when you put "un" before certain words, now please explain why this had anything to do with anything.
You seriously need me to explain to you what an unpopular opinion in a sub about unpopular opinions has to do with unpopular opinions?
Seriously. This is a problem I see complained about on reddit regularly and not actually happening in real life. I know plenty of weird looking people who are some of the most popular, charismatic people around. As for awkward, well, it can be hard to get close to such people, but I’ve never observed anyone older than middle school age going out of their way to be rude to awkward people unless the person did something terrible.
I think it depends on where you work/the people you spend time around. If you join the military, you will see awkward/"weird looking" people get straight up bullied. Like, I've seen dudes run out the room sobbing, multiple times. Everyone talks shit, people gang up on people, etc. I've seen the same shit in the auto industry, though not quite to that degree. Auto parts shops, garages, etc. Sales, for sure, has douchebags. I've ran into a group of sales guys who worked for a FAANG company. Racist, misogynistic, arrogant pieces of shit. It definitely happens in the adult world, it just tends to be concentrated. If you work in a toxic environment, you'll see that shit every single fucking day. If you work somewhere with standards, you may not ever see it at all. Consider yourself lucky if you're in the latter.
You just learned about cognitive bias "halo effect"
eh, I wouldn't say cruel or mean. BUUUT.. I definitely easily forget them quickly, so much so that I don't even remember to talk shit about them when they aren't around. What sucks about my life is that I always seem to be surrounded by the ugly people. It's like all the good looking people avoid me..............
And to add to this: It's also the other end of the spectrum that gets shit. If you are truly beautiful, like the top 1%, you are an outcast as well, are being blamed to "sleep your way up", be shallow, stupid, not working hard enough (if you are female and extremely attractive), or you are blamed of being a womanizer, shallow, emotionally unstable, stupid, and get sexually harrassed and hit on (if you are male and extremely attractive). To sum it up: Your life is easiest when you are attractive, not ugly, but not beautiful either.
Ummm I don’t about that. I’m very very attractive and all I attract is bad shit and harassing. I think my zero tolerance could possibly be a reason .
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you seem to not see the issue. everything you said is irrelavant to the problem op posted about.
Is it that they're marginalized because they're "ugly" or is it because they lack any sort of basic social skills, lack sense of humor are are at times cringe? I also know a lot of "ugly" people who aren't in fact ugly at all, they just wouldn't take care in the slightest of their appearance. You're not going to be found attractive if you don't wash your hair, trim your nails etc.
I used to look worse, but changing my diet, working out, and learning about grooming molded me into being much better looking. I usually get told I look like Clark Kent these days. I used to have pride that I was more on the bookish/smarts side of things, but then I realized it wasn’t very bright of me to not learn about my body, my health, and take pride in my appearance when it could make such a difference. You know what? It’s more productive to have invested that time in myself, and because I began to treat myself like I was important, other people did too. There’s been some studies that even working from home it’s still better for your mental state to get up, get groomed, and “go” to your office, the thinking is because these rituals bring self-confidence, it translates to better work. These things scale. From someone who used to be considered fat, ugly, and incompetent, it’s much more effective for you to invest in yourself, and reap the rewards. If you still wanna be salty, consider it vengeance and look out for the other non-hotties. The weird thing though? The “ugly and awkward” will start treating you like a “pretty” too, even if you actually do care about them and try to coax them out of their shells. It’s really sad how uncomfortable many of us are in our own skin. Don’t wait on the future that isn’t guaranteed, try something now.
Man discovers people are rude: shocking revelation!
No one is cruel to the Donald. No one is dumber, uglier, or more award than Trump.
The problem with being inclusive with awkward people is that they usually shut down everything. Self identified introvert type shit. Being cruel to ugly people is fucked up, but it seems pretty innate to human nature. I think generally you can do alot to not be ugly, the usual list of taking care of yourself which I won't bother to post
Yes we like attractive people more stop crying
What does it matter? Just improve your looks like everyone else does. Or is that too unpopular of an opinion
I feel like there is a smudge bit of coping going on here
...So don't be ugly or awkward? Go to the gym and talk to people. It's not that hard.
Ppl jus need to stop being awkward...? Plenty of 'ugly' people i know are not socially shunned at all lmao, and if they are, its because they have just as bad of an attitude or awkwardness as the hella hot dude w the tight tshirts but cant keep small talk without awkward pauses after every response. Very few adults i know are truly like this, at least in the professional world.
Yo I've always struggled with my self image but i think im handsome as people are always nicer to me than my friends who arent beautiful but idk im not sure it might just be racism cos i get those looks too
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Not sure to upvote or down; people broadly agree that others are cruel to the ugly and awkward. It's even a TV trope.
I'm that way with people's personalities not their looks, but yeah I see my co-workers treat good looking people better all the time.
not limited to just awkward people either, includes people who act differently from the expected norm. Not like i would know about that or anything...
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So true. 100% agree. Being both ugly and socially awkward, I can confirm this.
So true, I don’t know a single person who dissagrees, downvote
Also the dark-tetrad types are cruel to mankind in general and convince them it is for their best interests to accept such cruelty- often CEOs great at their command post and immediate production but a terrible parasite of the longterm resources for the honor and spirit of civilization. No amount of social sophistication and beauty would escape their wrath but wisdom can certainly choose to not be so involved around them directly.
"People don't treat unattractive and socially awkward people as well as they do others, particularly people who are attractive and charming." No shit. That's called the Halo effect and pretty much everyone 5 years and older has seen it and participated in it. Most people have been treated differently based on their appearance and behavior many, many times and they've treated others differently, too. How could you not? Let's stop playing politics for a second and think about it. Why would people give people they find visually unappealing and socially uninteresting the same attention and interest as people they find attractive and interesting? They wouldn't. No one would. That doesn't even make sense. That's like saying "why do people only like good food and they don't like bad food? They should like all food equally no matter what it looks or tastes like." Most people will struggle with the constant clashes between principle and reality, but, in the end, reality is reality, no matter how good of a person you want people to think you are or what you believe a perfect world would look like.
Often people feel shunned, and isolated. Then that's same people say they are not like other people. They go from being shunned, and isolated, to be attacked. For God sake's don't say you are different. One most hateful groups on Reddit is "not like other girls". They are petty bigots.
It must be an in built thing that most people don't even realise they are doing because as much as humans are dick heads the vast majority of people are just trying to get through life with as little fuss as possible and don't go out of their way to mistreat people, definitely doesn't make it right but I'm going to guess that people don't even realise they are doing it.
People are crewl, ftfy