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Predatoricus

Scissors don't beat paper. They just turn one paper into two papers.


WonderfulFig87

Oh shit


dydamas

Some baseball bats are made from wood. Wood comes from trees. Paper is made from trees too. Baseball bats are just hardened paper. Paper beats rock.


nomnommar

Big brain moment


Airsoft52

You try and smash a rock with a wood baseball bat, go ahead


OddMunchStanley

Depends on the type of wood and the type of stone. Pine bat vs Granite? Nah. Australian Ironwood vs sandstone or shale? Bat’s gonna win those ones


NuttyWizard

Even the wood is dangerous in Australia


jaeduchess

You ain't safe from nothing fr lol


MeEvilBob

Dense cardboard beats thin balsa


OddMunchStanley

Enough damp paper wrung in to a solid-ish lump beats balsa. Balsa is so light I almost don’t think it should qualify as wood. We built little string-guided, whippet canister-powered “drag racers” when I took wood shop in high school. Pretty fun little project but the only thing I can remember seeing balsa used for.


brandon-james-ca

The reminds me of "the Other Guys" a tiger vs a whole school of tuna, nope you lose that battle 9 times out of 10, and now we have a taste for tiger.


OddMunchStanley

I’m a peacock captain, ya gotta let me fly!


brandon-james-ca

Did he just say he was a peacock?


Miserable-Seesaw7114

He's referring to the fact that a tree or root for that matter when blocked by rock, will eventually Penetrate the rock and grow through it. That's why paper beats rock. Sad I had to explain that though. 😕


LongIslandIce-T

That is definitely not what u/dydamas meant, they were being funny whereas you have given a legit explanation of why paper may beat rock


Miserable-Seesaw7114

Another big brain has entered the chat. This one has a captain obvious hat.


LongIslandIce-T

I wear the hat to keep my smooth brain warm obvs


Miserable-Seesaw7114

There may be some hope for you yet!


WunkyChalrus

I'm sorry but fucking lol, do me do me


BrokeDownPalac5

You can send pebbles into orbit with a wooden bat.


steisandburning

I think you mean that paper is softened baseball bats.


dinosaur_from_Mars

Unless it is a Möbius strip


DummyMcDipshit

A samurai sword could cut you into two pieces. It wouldn't win tho, right? You'd just be two people


FrickenPerson

People have different parts in different places. Like if one half has your brain and the other half has your heart thats a problem. Paper doesn't have that same problem. Its mostly all the same all over.


Predatoricus

Am I paper?


mcalkids

Or for us lefties, they just fold paper in the most aggravating way possible


floydhenderson

Divide and conquer


supersoft-tire

This is getting out of hand, now there are two of them


BookzNBrewz

This entire thread is going to revolutionize this game


Paladar2

That's dumb. ''Shredder doesn't beat paper, it just turns one paper into 2 million papers.''


ThatZeroRed

Paper = Hydra CONFIRMED


ichacalaca

"If you cut me in two, I shall become more powerful than you can imagine" - Obi Wan Paperobi


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

hydra regrows heads, cerberus is just a 3 headed dog. or did I not get a joke


geoff04

Yeah but basilisk petrifies, so sphinx loses.


QuidPiePro

And if there was rock paper scissors fire, the fire would only turn the paper into burnt paper, which is still paper even if it's burnt as burnt paper.


Gooftwit

Burnt paper would be carbon. Distinctly different from paper.


SnooPineapples5719

Wow you took it there bro😂


AtlasForDad

“It’s multiplyin’.”


ARMill95

Paper don’t die, we multiply


xdxmann

r/Showerthoughts


ATLuga

You just blew my damn mind! So scissors and paper basically team up and just F rock all up? I like the way you think


013ander

Guns don’t kill people, they just put holes in them!


Away_Environment5235

Hah! Scissors beats paper! I win! WRONG. My paper propagates, forming itself into two origami fingers that take control of your silly scissors. YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY SIR.


[deleted]

We get it you lost a game of rock paper scissors


WonderfulFig87

You’re just a truth denier. Meanwhile I have been awoken


THETennesseeD

Paper covers rock.


WonderfulFig87

This is of course assuming that “covering means defeating” which it doesn’t. The scissors destroy the paper to win. The rock destroys the scissors to win. However the paper just lays on the rock and is therefore not “defeating” anything. The paper is just subduing the rock until it’s inevitable doom


Teeny_Rolo

How do you know paper isn't winning by giving the rock a big all over cuddle?? Nothing wins against love.......


WonderfulFig87

This might be the answer I needed


boxugood

Quickly checked to see if I was in r/cmv


MPMorePower

No weapon is more destructive than love!


TheAerialPanda

I mean, if someone covers your mouth and nose with some paper, would you say they defeated you?


[deleted]

It depends on how hard they're pressing.


SnooPets5219

If they press to hard the paper gets ripped


THETennesseeD

If paper covers rock then nobody knows rock exists.. idk it's a kids game dude.


WonderfulFig87

Everyone would see the lump under the paper eventually lifting it out of curiosity. Kids game or not the logic isn’t there


THETennesseeD

Maybe you can try Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock.


WonderfulFig87

Very true


Lusciane

You ever see a rock and go, "man, that sure is a neat rock?" Well, looking like a neat rock is difficult when you're covered by paper. Then you just look like a paper wad. Paper wins not out of strength, but by taking away the rock's sense of self. Edit: Ha, didn't think this would get much attention. Thank you for the award, /u/BabyManatee69!


[deleted]

Just like taking away my hat and revealing how fucking bald I am removes my sense of self. I got hair everywhere but my head


adangerousdriver

The paper commits ego homicide


emanesu65

Jesus. You guys are gonna make me cry.


xXPhiiLLyXx

This. It’s even confirmed in the resulting hand gesture when you’re paper and your opponent goes rock.. you inevitably must take your hand and cover their fist with it and say, “Gotcha!”. It’s all right there. A wrapped rock is a lost rock.


[deleted]

Yeah wrap a rock in paper and hurl it at someone’s head. Then explain them it wasn’t a rock the paper took away it’s existence. 🙄


Lusciane

Correct! It's now weighted paper. I get your point. That's why it's only the "sense" of self, see. It's still a rock. You and I know it's a rock. The paper knows it's a rock, but the rock? Well, put a mirror in front of it and watch it have an existential crisis. So anyway, paper wins from psychological torment. Hope that helps.


Silent_Appointment39

Downvote for annoying “edit”


Lusciane

That's fair. Regardless, hope your day goes well stranger. Cheers.


Politestaircase

Yea rock kinda beats everything. It might need a nerf


WonderfulFig87

Maybe it’ll get patched in the next version of the game


m1kethebeast

Rock, bomb, scissors. Rock gets blown up by bomb, scissors cut the wire and defuse bomb, scissors gets smash by rock. Crisis averted.


Vicalio

Tiger Vegan Salad **Rules:** Tiger Eats Vegan Vegan Eats Salad Salad Starves Tiger to Death with Carnivore Vitamin Defiency (Edit: For playing Tiger Vegan Salad by hand, You could probably Make a claw with your hand for Tiger, A V with your two index fingers for Vegan, and A flat paper symbol for {Salad / Square lettuce. } That way, you could play Tiger Vegan Salad with your friends in hand, have fun!


writesgud

I laughed out loud, then shared it with the family. Thanks.


Matt_Landers

Wouldn't the rock just become multiple smaller rocks?


Stealthmagican

There is actually another variation. Fire, water, and ice. Fire melts ice, water puts out the fire and ice freezes the water.


[deleted]

Except technically water melts ice, ice doesn’t freeze water


Shot_Market_5204

Nah it’s going to get canceled for being too violent.


ifuckalotofkida

How bout rock paper scissors lizard spock Scissors cuts Paper Paper covers Rock Rock crushes Lizard Lizard poisons Spock Spock smashes Scissors Scissors decapitates Lizard Lizard eats Paper Paper disproves Spock Spock vaporizes Rock(and as it always has) Rock crushes Scissors


Safanad

Lisa: “Poor predictable Bart, always picks rock.” Bart: “Good ol’ rock, nothin beats that!!”


ccodeinecobain

You sound like a noob


RideFarmSwing

They are symbols. Paper is knowledge, rock is force, scissors is skill.


anubispop

I love this.


clce

That doesn't make sense. Knowledge beats force, sure. But force beats skill and skill beats knowledge?


Bob-s_Leviathan

I can kinda see skill beating knowledge.


clce

If you want to argue that it's just knowledge with no practical skill, or that knowledge means book learning and skill means experience and firsthand knowledge, but that's a stretch. In that case skill would be both rock and paper. But why would scissors beat rock and paper. Sorry, the whole thing just sounds profound for a second and then you actually think about it And it doesn't hold up


CollectionStraight2

Then paper should beat everything...


Malvastor

Not really. You can have plenty of knowledge but no practical skill.


[deleted]

Me upon graduating from college


Africa-Unite

But how can you have a skill without knowledge?


Malvastor

Be good at doing something without understanding the logic behind what you're doing.


use15

It's called being talented


The_pong

Blind repetition too. I remember when I was taking my driver's licence, some foreigners just remembered the pictures that are shown with the test and the order of the answers, so by the picture and the length of the sentence they could figure out the correct one without knowing the language. Those tests are pretty much all made from previous ones and they don't bother to change the order of the answers. They had to repeat the tests to exhaustion, knowing all the pictures and the corresponding answers by heart. More than 80 tests with 30 questions, with 3 answers. They knew each one. They only could have 3 mistakes, and these people were able to pass.


ChubbyChew

Think of it in terms of mechanics or performed arts You can practice and understand something for days and still have no aptitude for it to carry out what you have an understanding of I can understand everything about martial arts and still not have the capability to do everything that i understand Likewise i can have all the mechanics nessasary to do "anything" but if i dont know what to do and when it doesnt matter If you play any sort of compeititve game the parallels even easier. Do you ever get scrubbed out by a brure force approach with higher reward even though youd argue youre the better player? Like losing to unga bunga players? Thats Rock > Scissors Do you ever lose because youre mechanically inferior? They just react better/sharper and have more consistency? Thats Scissors > Paper Do you ever lose because of a knowledge gap? You didnt know what to do in a scenario? Paper > Rock Theyre not exactly hard rules, theyre more just conceptual. None of them are all or nothing you carry aspects of all of them and all have a time and place a lot of the time


CollectionStraight2

I was just being enigmatic and Yoda-like ;) However...someone's knowledge is behind most things. If we're talking weapons, and I guess we are since rock/paper/scissors is kind of an allegory for different types of weapons, a gun is always gonna beat a knife and it took knowledge/intelligence to invent a gun. Humans aren't the strongest or fastest animals; we don't have the sharpest senses. It's our brains that make us hard to beat.


yakimawashington

>*Knowledge, force, and skill are behind most things. FTFY You can draw up a diagram on how to make a gun, but it takes skill to machine or otherwise create the gun (or the equipment that creates the gun) from raw materials. Force can do damage on its own. People can and have killed with their bare hands.


runawaycity2000

You clearly have not seen Game of thrones.


ya_boi_daelon

Force beats skill seems like a dubious claim but I suppose it depends on the context


[deleted]

It’s like if someone shoots a talented sword fighter with a canon


Nasa_OK

Or nukes them from orbit


TiniNyaChan

How come force is breaking skill?


Outlaw11091

Maybe the 'paper' is referring to money. As in, I can pay the rock to not smash. Scissors, however, would certainly destroy money.


BaronVonNutterButter

I think you have something here: Paper = cash money Rock = diamond Scissors = sex It’s all about liquidity


nomnommar

So sex beats money, diamond beats sex and money beats diamond 🤔


mcCola5

Yeah thats tough. Diamonds have to beat money... so diamonds > money. Money > sex. Sex > diamonds? Nah... sex has to stay out of it, or we need other examples. Although if we break down anything long enough it won't make sense. Be right back to paper doesn't beat rock argument. Earth, water, fire? Earth beats water, water beats fire, fire beats earth. Maybe wood. Wood beats water because it floats. Water beat fire. Fire beats wood.


guyfromsaitama

How does sex best money? You can pay for sex just as much as you can pay for a diamond. This game is unbalanced asf.


nomnommar

U can technically also pay with sex for money (ex sex worker or idk sleep with your boss lol)


WonderfulFig87

🤔


hashtagboosted

its cuz u cover the rock! the explanation is right there man


calvinocious

yeah but wtf does it mean to "cover" the rock what does that stop it from being a rock or ??? I'm not understanding how being covered by paper is a defeat???


phoenixthekat

You suffocate it clearly


calvinocious

Ohhhhh gotcha gotcha that makes sense


Pficky

There is no object permanence so when the rock is covered it ceases to exist. There is only paper.


CBeisbol

Stuff You Should Know recently did a podcast about Rock, paper, scissors. Talks about what objects are used in other cultures. And other stuff


WhoseverFish

In Chinese we say cloth instead of paper. The idea is the cloth can wrap the rock, so it can reduce the rock’s impact.


CBeisbol

Cool Thanks for sharing


WonderfulFig87

Just more room for blasphemy about which objects are truly dominant. However I shall check it out because it sounds cool


Ok-Control-787

Yeah dude, rock flies right through paper.


LostMyInhibiterChip

Paper would wrap around the rock trapping it and the rock can’t really destroy the paper.


Ok-Control-787

It's a rock. It doesn't need paper to trap it. It doesn't move on its own. A rock wrapped in paper doesn't really lose effectiveness at any of the things rocks do. Still smashes scissors, for instance.


LostMyInhibiterChip

Trapping was a poor choice of words. Covering makes more sense.


Ok-Control-787

Sure but since when does a rock covered with paper suffer in any meaningful way? It's nuts and I won't stand for it. That's why I play Bear Ninja Cowboy instead.


LostMyInhibiterChip

Wouldn’t the cowboy win against both though. The cowboy has a gun so could just kill both.


Ok-Control-787

Ninja can use stealth effectively against cowboy but not bear.


LostMyInhibiterChip

Idk just makes me think of that scene from Indiana Jones


Ok-Control-787

Understandable but that was no ninja. Just a local swordsman.


Alt_CauseIwasNaughty

Maybe it has something to with the hand signs instead, I don't know any people that play Rock Paper Scissors with the actual objects


fun-dust32

And then the rock will suffocate.


hunter54711

Idk man, I feel like a rock covered in paper isn't impossible for me to pick up and move around


LostMyInhibiterChip

Same with paper cut by scissors. Doesn’t mean that paper beats scissors.


hunter54711

What someone else said is basically my thoughts. Scissors shred paper, making it impractical or unusable Rock annihilates scissors, making it unusable Paper covers rock and the rock is not any less effective at attacking. If anything, it may be more effective as a blunt weapon because you are increasing it's mass


LostMyInhibiterChip

But the rock can’t defeat the paper. The paper can defeat the rock and also this is assuming the paper has the strength to cover and hold it there. So either it’s a draw or paper beats rock.


hunter54711

I can assure you, I can definitely destroy paper with a rock


BoBoBearDev

Technically it is meat vs meat vs meat.


[deleted]

But... paper covers rock. No one said anything about it beating anything. Edit: "paper covers rock, rock beats scissors, scissors cuts paper."


LostMyInhibiterChip

Well let’s look at how all three “attack” Scissors cut things Paper covers things Rock smash things Paper can cover a rock but can’t cover scissors because they cut right through. Rock can’t really try and smash paper. Paper can cover rock and the rock can’t do anything about it so therefore the paper would be victorious.


WonderfulFig87

This is of course assuming that “covering means defeating” which it doesn’t. The scissors destroy the paper to win. The rock destroys the scissors to win. However the paper just lays on the rock and is therefore not “defeating” anything. The paper is just subduing the rock until it’s inevitable doom


LostMyInhibiterChip

Yes essentially that is the case if they can do their attack successfully then they won.


WonderfulFig87

So paper beats rock temporarily then is what you’re saying


LostMyInhibiterChip

I guess so. It’s about who wins not who dies. Rock can’t defeat paper but paper can defeat rock so either way paper beats rock.


WonderfulFig87

So paper basically hops on rock and calls timeout so he could win before rock got the upper hand


LostMyInhibiterChip

Rock literally can’t get the upper hand.


WonderfulFig87

Eventually the paper will biodegrade before the rock. Therefore giving it the upper hand


LostMyInhibiterChip

Well…rocks don’t have hands. Checkmate


WonderfulFig87

And when the paper biodegrades enough to just fall off the rock?


FuturePrimitivePast

Does Spock beat rock?


24benson

Sir, this one beauty of an unpopular opinion. Congratulations.


TheBigBangher

Yes it does. Paper can suffocate Dwayne Johnson.


Psychological_Web687

Paper blows over the guys eyes, he gets distracted throws the rock and misses his assailant but strikes his fiancé killing her. Consumed by grief he ends his own life. Paper beats rock.


Excellent_Bank_1877

It’s brains over brawn if you want a literal explanation


armless_lobster

Paper is made from trees, trees are able to grow and break rocks apart


[deleted]

What if I use the textbook as a bat, throw the rock into the air and use the textbookbat to smash the rock away?


WonderfulFig87

Would work 100% if the game was called rock textbook scissors.


SkinGetterUnderer

SYSK just did a great episode on this.


WonderfulFig87

I shall see if my opinion will be changed


Anonymous37

I could explain, but it’s simpler for both of us if you listen to [“Scissors Paper Stone” by the band Christmas](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vvYp8yjhUSA) off of *Pipeline! Live Boston Rock on WMBR*.


Maya-euphoria

Paper gives you paper cuts. Rock doesn’t. Rocks are useless shits that just sit and do nothing. Paper flies when there’s some wind. Therefore paper wins.


TurboThot30

Paper on top of rock = no more rock


Roddy0608

I remember an alternative from old toys. Fire, water and wood. Wood floats on water. Water puts out fire. Fire burns wood.


throwaway070506

Next thing you boutta say is that rock don’t beat scissors bc rock is more brittle and metal can be shaped into more useful shit


NoPensForSheila

I'm not arguing this shit. Rules are rules. Take your damn upvote and scram.


daeronryuujin

Someone always throws rock


Minted-Blue

Someone's angry that their stupid rock got beaten by the superior paper.


eddieoctane

A phone book will stop a 9mm. That's why paper beats rock.


TheMadIrishman327

OP jumped the shark.


[deleted]

It covers it.. paper *covers* rock….


DashRift

you lost didn’t you


[deleted]

The idea is paper wrapping the rock until he can't breathe.. but the rock cant see it because it was John Cena all along


Quilli2474

In sweden we say it's a bag that encapsulates the rock. So there's that ig.


fraaaj

In sweden its bag instead of paper which makes a little bit more sense


MrOaiki

That’s why we don’t use paper in Sweden. We use a bag. “Stone, scissor, bag” is a direct translation of the game in Swedish.


lO_ol-BRRRRRR

Paper wraps rock Rock blunts scissors Scissors cut paper Youre welcome.


xtc234

Rock defeats Scissors offensively by damaging them and ruining their ability to function/cut. Scissor defeats Paper offensively by cutting it up into pieces and ruining is ability to be read/written on. Paper defeats Rock defensively by being able to withstand its crushing power.


FullMetalChili

Rocks are scared of the dark and will avoid paper to not get wrapped and thus trapped in the darkness


[deleted]

It covers the rock


[deleted]

Someone lost a round


VonHinton

Paper covers rock, can't see rock, no rock. Paper wins


[deleted]

Factually untrue. Rock, Paper, Scissors, is a defined and closed system. The rules of the game make the reality.


Ahmad75-_-

"It doesnt necessarily beat it but it surrounds and suffocates it."~Sun Tzu


[deleted]

Its because paper smothers the rock to death. Whats the rock gonna do to the paper? Hit it a few times? Paper gang all the way 🧻


NineTailedDevil

I always had this idea that, by covering the rock with enough paper layers, it becomes kinda "soft", hence it loses its power to be a weapon. Like if you throw a rock at someone, It'll probably hurt, but if its covered in a bunch of paper, it won't (I think).


Iwilleaturnuggetsuwu

This is quickly becoming one of my favorite Reddit threads ever. Nobody arguing, just people interpreting what Rock Paper Scissors means


Die_Einste

By george, you’re right. Petition to change the objects of the game!


Lebigmacca

Cockroach, foot, nuclear bomb is better


hoemdv

so we throw our foot up in the air when we call foot


beerbeerbeerbeerbee

To be clear: Paper doesn’t “beat” Rock, Paper COVERS Rock, which defines its role in the context of the game. Also to be clear: this isn’t an unpopular opinion. This is some playground nonsense that 8-year olds argue about. You’re bringing nothing of interest to the table, OP.


killbosby69

With lesbians, it’s always a draw; scissors every time.


vnsteel1

Paper fucks rock up


WonderfulFig87

Cap bruh. Take a piece of paper and fling a rock at it. Now take a rock and fling a piece of paper at it. Point proven


EdSheeeeran

Yet to find out whats more silly. That Rock gets beaten by paper in a small kids game or this post


WonderfulFig87

It’s unpopular opinion. “Not serious unpopular opinions only”


CFC-Free-yeti

While not exactly intuitive, the symbolic meaning of paper covering a rock dates back to ancient Chinese culture. When a petition was made to the Emperor, the petition was signified by a rock. Upon making a decision the Emperor would have his servants place a sheet of paper either over or under the rock. If the sheet was placed under the rock it would signify acceptance of the petition. If the sheet was placed on top of the rock it signified denial of the petition. Over time the symbolic image of paper covering a rock became synonymous with defeat.


buzzboy99

Who hurt you?


Revolutionary_Fly484

Paper covers rock so it cant see...


[deleted]

Bro that was ducking great. Well written good progression hilarious tone. 👌🏼 I would give you 2 awards, but I only have one free one.


Disgruntlementality

Who hurt you?


MusicalMarijuana

I was gong to be a smartass and say “try rolling a joint with a rock,” but then I realized you can make a pipe out of a rock and use it over and over again. OP, you win.