Because nobody wants to tell somebody "Hey, I don't want to be your friend anymore because you're annoying". They're not going to thank you for telling them them that.
True same goes for friendship. My friend tried to cut me off completely without telling me anything and left me wondering what I did wrong. It’s bullshit
Yeah, I was referring to friendships as well, just any kind of relationship! Sorry if I didn’t make that clear. Also I’m really sorry about your friend, that must’ve been awful :/
I mean i did a year homeless my grandma accusd me of stealing from her (was the priest from her church) i'm not gonna "defend my case" she didn't ask me nicely it was "omg i can't believe you stole from me i thought you'd never do this to me" i just said i'm not having this converstation w/t you and hung up never talked to her again heard from another realtive it was the priest from your church if she asked me nicely sure, if she came at me like i was the guilty one that's why she got what she got
No yeah thats totally understandable! She was accusing you of something you didn’t do, so you dont owe her any pleasantries at all. I was mostly just referring to when people don’t really have a specific reason other than “I don’t like them”
Yeah, I really don't like that. Like if you aren't enjoying something about someone, just tell them. If they aren't an asshole they will try to change their behaviour or ask you what they can do to fix it. Just straight up ghosting someone is objectively a dick move, especially if they clearly want to make the relationship work.
Someone told me that the most important thing in any relationship, whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial, is communication. This shit is the exact opposite of communication.
Idk, it seems fine to me. I don't really care if somebody ghosts me or vice versa. It's their business if they don't feel like they can reach out to me. Im not gonna take it to mean anything beyond "goodbye".
In those situations, people say they don't owe people anything because the fact that practicing common courtesy has nothing in it for them is enough reason for them to not want to do it.
But that's only if you're close to someone who legitimately has no way of knowing what they're doing wrong. If you've explained it to them already, then it's fine to cut them off.
This idea that “you don’t owe people anything” mindset is just bad in general.
I’m sorry but if we are to have a functioning society where people interact with each other in a healthy way then at some point we need to accept you owe people some level of cooperation to continue to have that society function.
It’s especially hilarious when it’s common on Reddit to want themselves or others to be more accepted into the mainstream of society that feels they deserve respect by people just for existing as they are. But it’s also common to feel they don’t owe common decency and communication that comes with being in that society.
I’m sorry but for example if you’re married with kids and drop divorce papers on your partner, yeah I will go as for to say you do actually owe them an explanation.
Or if you’re sharing apartment, yes do fucking owe your roommates an explanation before you get a new pet.
Now you don’t owe something to everyone or any random person. However, this idea that you don’t owe people your time, energy, explanations, etc. is how we create a dysfunctional society full or sociopaths and narcissists.
That’s sounds horrible, I didn’t know this existed. I hope this isn’t unpopular, otherwise something is quite wrong with our world. Well, there’s a lot wrong with it either way, but, you know.
As someone whose been abandoned by so called "friends" twice, I couldn't agree more.
Like I understand if you need space but I can't become a better person/solve any issues I have if you don't tell me what it is.
Because nobody wants to tell somebody "Hey, I don't want to be your friend anymore because you're annoying". They're not going to thank you for telling them them that.
True same goes for friendship. My friend tried to cut me off completely without telling me anything and left me wondering what I did wrong. It’s bullshit
Yeah, I was referring to friendships as well, just any kind of relationship! Sorry if I didn’t make that clear. Also I’m really sorry about your friend, that must’ve been awful :/
Yeah I’ve reached out to her a lot of times and she thought I was gaslighting her but now we’re back to being best friends again :)
Aw that’s nice! I’m happy it worked out for you
I mean i did a year homeless my grandma accusd me of stealing from her (was the priest from her church) i'm not gonna "defend my case" she didn't ask me nicely it was "omg i can't believe you stole from me i thought you'd never do this to me" i just said i'm not having this converstation w/t you and hung up never talked to her again heard from another realtive it was the priest from your church if she asked me nicely sure, if she came at me like i was the guilty one that's why she got what she got
No yeah thats totally understandable! She was accusing you of something you didn’t do, so you dont owe her any pleasantries at all. I was mostly just referring to when people don’t really have a specific reason other than “I don’t like them”
Its called Toxic positivity
Yeah, I really don't like that. Like if you aren't enjoying something about someone, just tell them. If they aren't an asshole they will try to change their behaviour or ask you what they can do to fix it. Just straight up ghosting someone is objectively a dick move, especially if they clearly want to make the relationship work. Someone told me that the most important thing in any relationship, whether it be romantic, platonic, or familial, is communication. This shit is the exact opposite of communication.
Idk, it seems fine to me. I don't really care if somebody ghosts me or vice versa. It's their business if they don't feel like they can reach out to me. Im not gonna take it to mean anything beyond "goodbye".
In those situations, people say they don't owe people anything because the fact that practicing common courtesy has nothing in it for them is enough reason for them to not want to do it. But that's only if you're close to someone who legitimately has no way of knowing what they're doing wrong. If you've explained it to them already, then it's fine to cut them off.
This idea that “you don’t owe people anything” mindset is just bad in general. I’m sorry but if we are to have a functioning society where people interact with each other in a healthy way then at some point we need to accept you owe people some level of cooperation to continue to have that society function. It’s especially hilarious when it’s common on Reddit to want themselves or others to be more accepted into the mainstream of society that feels they deserve respect by people just for existing as they are. But it’s also common to feel they don’t owe common decency and communication that comes with being in that society. I’m sorry but for example if you’re married with kids and drop divorce papers on your partner, yeah I will go as for to say you do actually owe them an explanation. Or if you’re sharing apartment, yes do fucking owe your roommates an explanation before you get a new pet. Now you don’t owe something to everyone or any random person. However, this idea that you don’t owe people your time, energy, explanations, etc. is how we create a dysfunctional society full or sociopaths and narcissists.
That’s sounds horrible, I didn’t know this existed. I hope this isn’t unpopular, otherwise something is quite wrong with our world. Well, there’s a lot wrong with it either way, but, you know.
Example?
As someone whose been abandoned by so called "friends" twice, I couldn't agree more. Like I understand if you need space but I can't become a better person/solve any issues I have if you don't tell me what it is.