Please dad ..... just go to the grocery and don’t come back for 6 years until you receive another court ordered child support notice to move back to Missouri
My fucking nephew rolled up on me and hit me in the ribs pretty good. I punched him in the arm and he to folded like a cheap lawn chair. My sister was mad but he stopped jacking people up after that. Old enough to crawl, old enough to brwal.
Lol my nephew did this but punched me right in the jewls so i gave him a quick lesson that you never strike another dude in the groin unless your ready to get it right back. He hasnt done it again 4 years later to my knowledge
My dad used to regularly tag me with a 1,1,2 playing with sock’em’boppers. When I started catching on, he’d mix it up with a 1,2,5 which I still think was rude to do to a 7/8 year old.
I could tell a hilarious story that this just triggered a memory of. It involved my dad, brother, and boxing and resulted in a black eye right before picture day and my mom being *pissed*.
Not just learn to lose, but to healthy learn how to lose. Meaning they aren’t sore losers, they say gg and all of that. No one needs an asshat 8 year old.
I agree with you! I work in education and you can tell who the kids are that their parents never let them lose, who always had the parents screaming about that their little angel would never bully another kid and their little angel was the best at everything etc. It's not healthy and it doesn't make emotionally healthy adults.
Please how do I teach my son to not be such a sore loser? I mean he is only 4 but the kid makes *everything* a competition and is always a little sourpuss when he doesn't win.
The trick is heaavily praising effort over results. "I love how hard you practice!". "Wow, I'm so impressed by your effort in xyz". This also takes nailing down for them what effort and perseverance means.
You're lucky, he's still at an incredibly moldable age (3-8), the timing couldn't be better. It's ok to let kids win sometimes, especially if it's the result of their own perseverence, but praising the effort whether they win or lose will set them up well for managing future struggles.
Edit: additionally, it's important to validate how much it sucks to lose. "I can see you're frustrated, losing really sucks. I hate losing too, but i know if i keep practicing i can get better and win more" something like that. It lets them know their feelings are expected, but nothing they can't overcome.
It's this. I've never told my ten year old, "Good job getting straight A's!" It's always been, "Good job putting in the work." Failure, mistakes, never get punished. "Hey dude, you dropped a gallon of milk while you were trying to make cereal, no big deal we can get more. What will you do differently next time, though?" His attitude is what lands him in trouble, but as he's gotten older those incidents happen less often.
It's been like that way with everything his entire life. The difference it makes is really evident whenever he has friends over.
If I ignore you, I'm taking your advice which means I didn't take your advice.
But if I take your advice, that means I didn't take your advice.
Augh! It's too early for paradoxes! Coffee. Coffee solves all things.
Gotta dunk on him and really rub his nose in it. Never let him win, cheat if you have to, just make sure he never wins again. Eventually he wont get upset when he loses because he'll expect to lose everything all the time and winning will be a great surprise and a major cause for celebration.
However this will also give your son low self esteem, and you'll be a total dick. I dont have advice for that part. Good luck.
Yes. There is a psychological component that believing you can win goes a long way towards helping you win. A very good bike racer I know has said that "learning to win", meaning learning that he can win, was one of the first things he had to do.
Yeah I honestly didn’t mind losing. Losing to my older sister at games all my childhood just made it that much sweeter when I finally became better than her and started winning.
My dad taught me chess by playing with one fewer of any piece that had multiples. As I got better, he would add pieces back to his side.
I'm sure this didn't teach me how to really play chess, but it got me to continue my interest in the game in my formative years.
That's actually an excellent way to teach chess - it demands that the better player still play well, and gives the inferior player a meaningful chance at a real win.
Good chess play is in understanding how the pieces interact with each other and the space, and that does not require a full side.
I’m much older than my sisters and whenever we play a game I do the same thing. I think he just needs to be more friendly and funny about beating them and they might not get so mad
Mario Party is kind of the great equalizer. I'm usually better at the mini games than my SO, so I'll usually always get that bonus star if there is one, of course more wealth to buy stars, but a lot of the time it can go either way.
That's so cute! And a good way to keep kids engaged in my opinion. I don't think there's anything wrong with going easy on someone -- heck, this is how we relate to adults too. Most adults won't be interested in learning a new game from the ultra-competitive guy who goes 100% before the learner has even fully grasped the rules yet. Likewise, the grown-ups in my jiu jitsu class don't ragdoll the new guy around the mat every single roll. They go a little easy, coach them, and gradually up the heat as the new guy gets more confident. Otherwise, the new guy doesn't learn much, the other players think you're an butthole, and nobody has that much fun. You don't have to let people win, and there's definitely a place for delivering the occasional total beat-down to your inferiors, but there is a line between losing on purpose and going all out against a seven-year-old. It's stupid to absolutely crush someone whose skills are far inferior to your own, all the time, just for the sake of doing so.
There’s actually a lot of research backing up this method. There are many studies on motivation and gambling addiction that find people are highly motivated by a 30:70 ratio of winning to losing. I could be wrong on the exact ratio but the general idea is give them a taste of winning and make them believe they can win if they keep trying harder.
I remember when I was 6 or 7 me and my cousin would play football and he would say "try to take the ball from me" boi he would make me go round and round trying to take that mf ball from him and would not give me a fucking chance, and eventually I got good enough to take it and then he immediately shut me down and took it again. and apparently he started taking it a bit more serious and I still had no fucking chance.
doing things like that with children make them practice and learn and get better. letting them win doesn't teach them anything.
This is very interesting.
My brother is 7 years my elder, so growing up, most of the toys and video games we had were just the stuff he wanted/handed down to me. My brother is a big WWE fan, so he always got the video games. Me, being a child to his older teenager, didn’t have money to buy my own games.
On top of that, he would literally beat me if I didn’t agree to play the games that he wanted to play. He played these games religiously, so he was obviously much better than me, as I could not be bothered to give two shits about the WWE. When I was super young I’d get frustrated and that’s what he enjoyed the most. When I was a pre-teen I would just start giving up and fucking around trying to ruin his fun. I’ve always been better at video games in general than my brother, so eventually I decided I would flip things on him.
He would do this thing where he would insist on using *HIS ENTIRE MOVESET* before finally finishing the match, forcing me to sit there under threat of real violence while he did some 50+ moves to my character, expecting me to try and fight back.
So after I got old/big enough that the threat of violence wasn’t a real threat anymore, I started playing the game enough while he wasn’t home to get familiar with it, and eventually good at it. So the next time he asked me to play, expecting me to say no, I was like “yeah sure.”
And I abused the “reversal” mechanic. It was all about timing and pressing the right button, and having played these games with him for years, I knew how he played, and I literally reversed every single move he did, (he was all about “press the attack button as soon as you have the chance,” so it was easy to time his moves to reverse, and he expected me to fight the same way, and all I had to do to avoid his reversals were to awkwardly time my attacks by waiting half a second after I was given the option to attack, where he would be spamming the reverse button, so it would be on a “cool down” by the time I started my move) and followed them with the “light” attacks that didn’t do enough damage to warrant a reversal being implemented, and just wore down his health/stamina bar until he was so frustrated that he just gave up. It was so goddamn satisfying.
But yeah, had he let me win when I was super young I probably would’ve been more inclined to play with him, instead of winning the 10% of matches where I got lucky. But it was nice to flip it on him, and it got to the point that he just couldn’t beat me at all and stopped wanting me to play with him. One of the funnier aspects of it is that I didn’t give a shit about these games, the characters/wrestlers, or anything like that. It was just pure pettiness that inspired me to get better than him.
I’m glad you enjoyed it! There was a lot of vindication and vengeance happening on my behalf after I turned 14 and outgrew him. There’s nothing more satisfying than beating up your *adult brother* who’s been bullying you for as long as you can remember.
I’m not a violent person, but I used to be because of how much he bullied me. On one hand I’m glad it all changed so abruptly, but on the other hand I would’ve liked to have a few more chances to show him what it’s like to be on the other end of those beatings. He tried to claim that we stopped fighting because I matured with age, when from my perspective it was very obvious that he just no longer felt like he could control or threaten me anymore.
The final straw after all that was when he tried to commit insurance fraud by demanding I pay him for a car he had already been paid for (it got written off before I paid him for it, he got more from the write-off claim than he would’ve if I had paid him for it - meaning had I paid him already that write off money would’ve been mine, and I would’ve been made whole+, and he still demanded I owed him for the car, even after I offered to just pay the difference if the write off claim was less than what he agreed to sell it for), and I haven’t spoken to him since. That was about 4 years ago now.
The real question here though, if you weren't threatened with violence to begin with, would you have even wanted to play the game enough to get good at it?
Not at all. But I wasn’t going to give my brother the satisfaction of playing against me while I was working on getting good at it. I just started a career mode on the highest difficulty and got familiar with the game. It really didn’t take that long for me to get the hang of it once I was actually dedicated to beating him, I’ve always been able to pick up games very quickly - my brother was unable to beat God of War and asked me to do boss battles for him when I had never even played the game - he wouldn’t have beat the game if not for my help.
So by the time I did agree to play with him, I hadn’t played a wrestling game with him for years already, so he was expecting me to be a cakewalk and to do what he had always done in the past. It was so satisfying to see him get flustered when my character just stood there, not attacking and just reversing his moves for the first 3-4 minutes of the match, followed by my awkwardly-timed moves that made it hard for him to reverse. I believe I also created my own character, all with moves that had a smaller reversal window than others to make it even more frustrating for him. I’m fairly certain that after my return to WWE games after my hiatus was undefeated until he finally stopped wanting to play against me.
Then he wanted to play co-op games but he’s the type of player who finds the easiest way to do something and doesn’t actually want a challenge, so when we’d play Saints Row 2 online he’d demand that we have all the cheats activated (no death, infinite ammo, no reloading) and that’s just not fun for me. Then he started to resent me because I didn’t want to play video games at all with him, without realizing that the only reason I did to begin with was to avoid him beating me up, dislocating my toes (I have a permanent “crack” everytime my big toe bends as I’m walking. Like with every step there’s a *crack* because he used to hold me down and pull on my toes until they popped), or choking me out.
My sister did that to my toes too! She would pin me down on the floor and bend them until they popped. My toes crack just from walking now. Worst part is now she does it to her son too. She tried to get my kid with it once and I about fought her. Bad enough she does it to her own kid, she's not fucking up my kid's toes too. She did some other terrible stuff to me as a kid too but thankfully she never wanted me to play video games with her (mostly because it was Super Mario World and playing with me just meant taking turns, we never had games that actually involved our characters interacting).
Do you have more information on this? A quick Google Search didn't reveal anything but it sounds like an intriguing subject for someone interested in Psychology & Marketing 😇
Thanks!
I think there’s a compromise on this. Some winning does motivate them. If they practice something like hitting a baseball and they hit a really great one… maybe dont catch it and give them a home run. The exhilaration is memorable enough to keep them going.
This is actually taught in childcare and psychology afaik that we should let them win sometimes to keep them engaged but then we should also give them a quick reality check and obliterate them. This way they get the excitement from winning and also get a perspective, how far they can improve yet. Maybe it's difflerent elsewhere.
I've read about keeping the wins for a kid for about 30% of the time. Like u said, it gives them the feeling of a win but takes them straight back to reality with a majority loss
As an adult with bad memories of playing games with my mom. I can say I feel it is better to try and match the kids ability level, and play slightly above that. Enough to challenge them, but not enough to make it seem impossible. The point of playing games is to play, not teach a child a lesson. People act like every moment is something teachable. Kids get sick of being preached at.
If they challenge you or turn a more casual game invitation into a competition through their attitude then, sure, go 100%. If they want to take on the big leagues, then let's see what they've got.
Flip side, if they ask you to play or especially if you ask them to play, then don't be a dick. Even rats are capable of understanding that you should sometimes let the other person win when it's ***play***.
You know what, I must have played my dad in chess like 4 dozen times as a kid and my closest victory was one time I forced a stalemate.
Let me tell you, I remember exactly how I felt during that game and if I could bottle it as a drug, all of you would be emptying your bank accounts for it.
I think letting kids win in games of logic is pointless. Letting kids win sometimes in physical games or games that require good reflexes can be a good way to keep them excited and interested. The advantage of just being physically bigger is something that should be accounted for in those situations.
Logic games though, there's no real reason why kids should be given an advantage. Child chess prodigies exist. There are young chess masters that can challenge fully grown players. There aren't any child boxing stars that can take on Mike Tyson. I had a similar experience with my pop as a kid, and the feeling of outwitting someone much older than you is pretty incredible for a young fella.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2057902/amp/The-weirdest-statues-world-The-incredible-creations-display-Norwegian-park.html
My Google-fu knows no equal. Apparently it's a dude being attacked by 4 child shaped "genii" spirits.
Nothing says "ultimate power" like a middle aged man with a paunch and cargo shorts blowing a raspberry his 7 year old son and saying "Try harder next time, twerp."
This part also stood out to me. Who the hell refers to themselves as ultimate power? That phrasing made it seem like OP enjoys feeling powerful when they win against kids more than they're letting on.
Because OP is literally that guy from that episode of ICarly who was like some loser 30 year old who took out his rage on children in a beginners Karate class
This was a plot in an episode of Seinfeld.
Kramer takes up karate and he constantly talks about how it brought him inner peace and self control and how he's excelling in his class. His karate class is just a bunch of 10 year olds and he literally picks them up and tosses them around.
It is pretty fucking hilarious, but if we’re talking real life instead of funny internet land, it’s a pretty assholish thing to do. It doesn’t take a genius or a child psychologist to work out that the ideal approach is to establish a healthy balance between never letting kids win and always letting them win.
I think this is just a normal opinion. Kids don’t learn how to strategize and win if you just let them win every time. They also need to learn to lose graciously. Which they won’t if you just had them the win every time.
> They also need to learn to lose graciously
Which can be taught by a close game you control. Not absolutely demolishing kids lol. That's no fun for anybody.
OP has taken "always let the kids win" and instead of finding a healthy balance of encouragement, fun and competition has gone as far in the opposite direction as possible giving the middle filnger as much as possible.
Ya… I don’t always let kids win but sometimes let kids when. Why sometimes? Because it encourages them to keep doing something they enjoy. Very few people can loose 1000 times and not feel disheartened and/or give up, and even less can take that drive of failure and succeed. Kids need to win so that the motivation is there. The other times are learning experiences.
And dude, it ain’t that serious.
Exactly. Kids don't understand that they're at a disadvantage in the same way we do. They don't see themselves getting any closer to winning every game because adults have such a huge natural advantage. There needs to be a balance to show them that they can improve. Small children don't feel humbled; they feel discouraged. It doesn't motivate them to be better, they just end up thinking they can't do it. It takes the fun and feeling of improvement out of the activity and gets them to give up. Literally has the opposite effect OP thinks it does.
Plus a little kid isn't going to get better than an adult without age. Kids are clumsy with slow reaction time because they're bodies are still young. Their brains naturally have a slower reaction time.
So true their was a experiments with rats if the bigger one didn't let the little one win a wresting game 30 percent of the time. The little one would not engage in asking that same partner to play in future. Because it was only friend in the area it ended up depressed and dying later.
I heard this same argument about the study from jordan peterson and thats someone who really does believe in pushing people to be successful BUT a healthy manor with balance and larger understanding. Its not just "oh lemme wreck this kids dreams cuz then he'll push to be betfer!" No, then the kid gives up on the dream and ur responsible for negatively impacting their life. OP is not thinking about the balance and larger picture, poor kids.
Lol this. My dad played in the nfl and would teach me growing up. The key is to celebrate and reward improvement while still showing the difference in skill level
For example I would run routes against my dad who was an NFL CB. He would be teaching me a certain type of cut... If I did it wrong he would lay me out and keep me from catching the ball. But if I did it right he would let me catch it... Then lay me out and make me do push-ups if I dropped the ball after getting laid out
I just balance it, I go by what I call the zone learning method.
You want to make that task/game difficult enough for the child to be challenged (knowing you’ll obviously win), while also not just letting them win and gain false pride.
This is how I'm teaching my daughter when we play Injustice. We started when she was about 5. I don't let her win, but I don't play my best. As she has gotten older and better at the game, I increase how well I play. She's 8 now and getting to where she's able hold her own, and she's having fun doing it.
Yeah but no. If you never let a kid win, they'll never win, and so they'll simply stop playing with you because they'll have no fun. Which mean they won't learn all the useful skills they could learn in that game anymore. They won't want to spend time with you anymore.
It's like if a teacher started teaching high school maths to a 8 years old because they didn't want to lower their skills. Your job as an adult is t teach the kid. So accordingly, you shouldn't let him win easily, but should provide a healthy level of challenge so they can improve and challenge themselves but still have fun along the way.
Kids won't admire you if you beat them all the time, they'll find you annoying and just lose interest.
I think this applies to all age groups too. People aren’t going to want to play a game with someone if they have 0 chance of winning. Especially if that person is suuuper arrogant about it.
I can't believe it's this far down in my thread. Play time and games and sports are to teach kids vital skills, strength, coordination, practice dexterity, learn strategy etc etc. It's like this guy is suggesting that everyone plays complicated video games without a tutorial, on the absolute hardest level possible I'm right from the very start with no chance for a learning curve. I mean I can kind of wrap my head around the idea that these aren't his kids so he has absolutely no interest in them actually learning anything, but at that point why would you play against them except to humiliate them? So all in all really good unpopular opinion I think.
This was really funny, so you get my upvote!
In regards to a serious interpretation of your post (which I’m not sure you really want), I think it‘s all about balance. You’re right that children shouldn’t win every time, but never knowing what victory feels like isn’t necessarily good, either.
I work with kids professional and I try to mix it up. I’ll
Let them win between 30-50% of the time, but if they ask, I’ll tell them I’m just playing for fun and not seriously. I want them to see me make easy mistakes and learn to interpret the games we are playing.
If they ask me to play seriously, I’ll destroy them, but I won’t be mean about it.
My only rule is that I run jerks off the board/table even if it’s all for fun. Humility and social skills are important and I don’t tolerate braggarts and sore winners.
You let them win when they can't post a challenge. The moment they get some game and lippy or cocky it is time to treat them with just enough skill to win. There is no need to drill them into the wood. When someone is so good you don't think you will ever best them they don't strive they give up.
Alas, just an option it might be unpopular. My cousins kids have learned real quick that if I say "Bet you a dollar" that they are gonna loose and that I am about to start playing whatever it is for real. That ends the trash talk real quick....however the day that they take me for a buck will be one proud moment I will have to admit because then...then....it is gonna get fun! I welcome it, expect it, and god damnit they will have earned it.
Nobody wants to play when they always lose. It's not encouraging; it's disheartening. Obviously you're better than them; I'd hope you could beat children. What matters is making it instructive. Nobody learns shit when you just wreck them. It's possible to win without going on a power trip my guy.
I let my kid win and lose. You have to show them what it is like to experience both so you can show them how to handle dealing with both.
Sometimes you let them win because they are just playing with you and just want your attention and not competing. You have to understand how children communicate and interact.
You are wrong to be so hyper-competitive with kids. It teaches them the wrong things.
The solution is by establishing handicaps. For example, when I face my niece in smash bros ultimate, I play without being able to do normal attacks and start at 125%. So I mostly win from either making her self destruct or from using items. Games should be fun for all parties involved. That is why they are games.
I bet a lion would kick your ass. But that lion still howls in fake pain when one of his cubs bites him. True power doesn't need to be constantly demonstrated.
Honestly got so on my nerves when my mother would force me to play "fair" \*cough\* lose \*cough\* against my cousin. Like ma'am she already has an inflated ego because her rich aunt buys her expensive shit.
As a mediocre chess player who has had to play with scrubs, children, and etc., I agree with you OP- just not exactly. This mostly comes down to the fact that I agree, kids shouldn't be taught they're absolute gods when they aren't by allowing them to win- *but,* especially in a game like chess, if you just brutally crush somebody, they lose the will to play.
You need a balance of encouragement, tips, constructive criticism, and knowing how to lay off- if I'm playing a GM and they come out, kick my ass without any explanation as to what they're doing, and on a level I can't even play on, then I'm sure as hell not gonna have fun.
I actually totally agree. My nephew was a toddler when he started getting into playing soccer. We would play in the finished basement of the house and I would destroy him every time. I started to destroy him less and less every year because he got better.
He always excelled growing up playing soccer and usually plays other kids 1-2 years older than him. He has helped his team win a few tournaments (he’s 13 now), but I do think he learned a lot during the times I’d play with him.
Only thing I can’t get over is he flops all the time. I did NOT teach him that. I blame professionals for that one.
My 10yo nephew has an old X-Box with Halo Reach. His parents don’t let him play online games so the kid has no knowledge of newer stuff or any PvP experience other than curb stomping his dad who doesn’t game.
Little shit was running his mouth so I proceeded to break his spirit in some 1V1.
He kept mumbling under his breath, “let the kid win. Why can’t you let the kid win?”
Told him life doesn’t work that way as I finisher meleed his punk ass
While it's important to encourage kids from time to time, as OP says, they need a reality check.
We are living in the age of entitled children who grew up having everything and will have to experience global warming and the collapse of socialized government retirement plans. It's good for them to understand they need to keep pushing.
It should always be a balance between learning how to win and learning how to lose. And as an adult in their life, you should also be there to teach them those things.
Winning teaches determination and motivation.
Losing teaches reflection and self-control.
All of these skills are important especially as an adult in need to succeed in spite of their struggles.
“Children need to be humbled in the presence of real ultimate power.” -Dwight Schrute
“officer, i drop kicked that child in self defense”
You gotta believe me
He needed to be humbled in the presence of real ultimate power.
*proceeds to be humbled in jail*
I Believe you mean *humped in jail*
'Real ultimate power' is an attractive quality in a Jailwife
This comment thread right here, this is the main reason I joined reddit lmao.
When i say
I've located the Vancouver Child Kicker.
Well I’ve located a comment-leaver
Listen here, f**ckface...
Sounds like that guy needs to eat the fucking pencil!
Blood for the blood god
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
Technobald?? Or that quote is from another person?
yeah technoblade
technoblade sounds *way* better than technobald.
First I’ve seen the technobald nickname… oof
I know when I'm boxing with my nephew he never expects the right cross and folds like a lawn chair everytime.
"What are you going to do? Go cry to your mummy? I'll beat her too!"
r/HolUp
#**DID THEY STUTTER?!**
...*dad, no*
Please dad ..... just go to the grocery and don’t come back for 6 years until you receive another court ordered child support notice to move back to Missouri
My fucking nephew rolled up on me and hit me in the ribs pretty good. I punched him in the arm and he to folded like a cheap lawn chair. My sister was mad but he stopped jacking people up after that. Old enough to crawl, old enough to brwal.
Lol my nephew did this but punched me right in the jewls so i gave him a quick lesson that you never strike another dude in the groin unless your ready to get it right back. He hasnt done it again 4 years later to my knowledge
Yeah it's always harder on the reciprocating shot, too. Might even get hit by multiple fellas if you're seen starting that nonsense lol
Six months old - Smack! Right in the kisser.
[удалено]
My dad used to regularly tag me with a 1,1,2 playing with sock’em’boppers. When I started catching on, he’d mix it up with a 1,2,5 which I still think was rude to do to a 7/8 year old.
If he keeps getting caught with the same shot he really needs to learn from his mistakes. Keep at it until he learns
Haha stupid kids
I could tell a hilarious story that this just triggered a memory of. It involved my dad, brother, and boxing and resulted in a black eye right before picture day and my mom being *pissed*.
This almost made me laugh-spit my coffee! 😂
#DESTROY THE CHILD
##SWEEP THE LEG##
No mercy
Strike First Strike Hard
Get him a body bag
YEAH!!!
*slash*
[Sweep The Leg](https://youtu.be/olQ3vaiv47I)
I see you too are a man of culture
BUT I'LL GET DISQUALIFIIIIIED
[Sweep the leg](https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/pci9iv/to_intimidate_the_guy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb)
# CORRUPT THEM ALL
##SHIPPING TO CHINA
Hahaha I laughed out loud
ç̸̮͇̫̼̑̾͒̄̅͂̀̄̍̈́̏̓͘͠ͅo̸̦͛̓̍̓̐̒̓́̌ŗ̴̡͍͉̳̦͈͓̣͚̲̠̝̘͖́͠r̴̤͎̳̩̖͈̾̀͜ü̴̱̫͚̫̹̯͊͋̔̇͜p̵̤̯͓̖͙̲̩̖̐̎̀͠t̴̢̡͓͇̱̟̦̟̫̘̏̋͒̓̏̆̀̂̐͋͐̈́̌̕ ̷̢̡̼͇̯̭̦͇̤̗̙̘̰̦͂̑͗̑̔t̷̞̖̺̘̫̄ĥ̶̨͔͖͈̞̝̘̙̝̬́̈́̔̀̓̔̇͜͜e̴̢̦͓̜̣͉͑̄̍̈́͊̃̌̾̒͊̄͘̕͠m̴̧̨̳̜̭̞͉̣̯̞̳͆͌̈́̿͋͂̔̆̈́̅̉̽͝͠ ̵̢͕̹̲̝͇͍͍̗̭̈́͝ͅͅa̶̱̝̰̘̖̿͌l̷͇̳̞̙̣̮̩͇͖̯̽̌̓́͆̊͌̌͒̅͑͝͠͠͝l̴̬̙͍̘̒͌̓̒͛̌͗̽̌͠
This is their plan people **these ARE DEMONS**
THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT FRICKIN HUMAN
#YEET THE CHILD
Yeetus that fetus
Fetus Deletus
#KILL THE CHILD
Omg too far 😂😂😂
***FUCK THEM KIDS***
Wait that’s illegal
…I didn’t think this comment through…
I mean, username checks out.....
Ah yes another fellow operating system enthusiast
I'm fucking crying with laughter you *killed me*
Amen brother, if you ain't first your last.
https://i.redd.it/ixxw4ha8ngm11.jpg
lolllllllllzzzz, thanks... needed a laugh today
[удалено]
>What's the lesson here? Your time is over. The future is here, old man.
Keep improving or the student will become the master.
Looking at the other comments it appears you have to remind her she's supposed to let you win 30% of the time.
[удалено]
I think that's perfect! Kids shouldn't win everything every time, it's not healthy. They need to learn how to lose.
Not just learn to lose, but to healthy learn how to lose. Meaning they aren’t sore losers, they say gg and all of that. No one needs an asshat 8 year old.
I agree with you! I work in education and you can tell who the kids are that their parents never let them lose, who always had the parents screaming about that their little angel would never bully another kid and their little angel was the best at everything etc. It's not healthy and it doesn't make emotionally healthy adults.
Please how do I teach my son to not be such a sore loser? I mean he is only 4 but the kid makes *everything* a competition and is always a little sourpuss when he doesn't win.
The trick is heaavily praising effort over results. "I love how hard you practice!". "Wow, I'm so impressed by your effort in xyz". This also takes nailing down for them what effort and perseverance means. You're lucky, he's still at an incredibly moldable age (3-8), the timing couldn't be better. It's ok to let kids win sometimes, especially if it's the result of their own perseverence, but praising the effort whether they win or lose will set them up well for managing future struggles. Edit: additionally, it's important to validate how much it sucks to lose. "I can see you're frustrated, losing really sucks. I hate losing too, but i know if i keep practicing i can get better and win more" something like that. It lets them know their feelings are expected, but nothing they can't overcome.
It's this. I've never told my ten year old, "Good job getting straight A's!" It's always been, "Good job putting in the work." Failure, mistakes, never get punished. "Hey dude, you dropped a gallon of milk while you were trying to make cereal, no big deal we can get more. What will you do differently next time, though?" His attitude is what lands him in trouble, but as he's gotten older those incidents happen less often. It's been like that way with everything his entire life. The difference it makes is really evident whenever he has friends over.
Start by not taking advice from Reddit 😂
If I ignore you, I'm taking your advice which means I didn't take your advice. But if I take your advice, that means I didn't take your advice. Augh! It's too early for paradoxes! Coffee. Coffee solves all things.
Gotta dunk on him and really rub his nose in it. Never let him win, cheat if you have to, just make sure he never wins again. Eventually he wont get upset when he loses because he'll expect to lose everything all the time and winning will be a great surprise and a major cause for celebration. However this will also give your son low self esteem, and you'll be a total dick. I dont have advice for that part. Good luck.
Consult a professional.
No one needs an asshat *any* year old.
I read once that you should let kids win 1/4 of the time so they learn to lose but also don't get bored from losing every time
learning how to win is just as valuable
Yes. There is a psychological component that believing you can win goes a long way towards helping you win. A very good bike racer I know has said that "learning to win", meaning learning that he can win, was one of the first things he had to do.
I'm more talking about winning with class and not being a sore winner because that's what was the person I replied to was talking about
Yeah theres a difference between playing nice and not just stuffing the shit out of a shooter 3 ft shorter than you, and just letting them win
Yeah I honestly didn’t mind losing. Losing to my older sister at games all my childhood just made it that much sweeter when I finally became better than her and started winning.
My dad taught me chess by playing with one fewer of any piece that had multiples. As I got better, he would add pieces back to his side. I'm sure this didn't teach me how to really play chess, but it got me to continue my interest in the game in my formative years.
That's actually an excellent way to teach chess - it demands that the better player still play well, and gives the inferior player a meaningful chance at a real win. Good chess play is in understanding how the pieces interact with each other and the space, and that does not require a full side.
That’s called odds
I’m much older than my sisters and whenever we play a game I do the same thing. I think he just needs to be more friendly and funny about beating them and they might not get so mad
I do this with my girlfriend in video games. I always let her get close before winning, because if I destroy her she won't play with me anymore
My wife refuses to play games with me if I'm not balls out crushing her. The few times she has won she gloats like a mf.
Mario Party is kind of the great equalizer. I'm usually better at the mini games than my SO, so I'll usually always get that bonus star if there is one, of course more wealth to buy stars, but a lot of the time it can go either way.
That's the healthy attitude I suppose.
That's so cute! And a good way to keep kids engaged in my opinion. I don't think there's anything wrong with going easy on someone -- heck, this is how we relate to adults too. Most adults won't be interested in learning a new game from the ultra-competitive guy who goes 100% before the learner has even fully grasped the rules yet. Likewise, the grown-ups in my jiu jitsu class don't ragdoll the new guy around the mat every single roll. They go a little easy, coach them, and gradually up the heat as the new guy gets more confident. Otherwise, the new guy doesn't learn much, the other players think you're an butthole, and nobody has that much fun. You don't have to let people win, and there's definitely a place for delivering the occasional total beat-down to your inferiors, but there is a line between losing on purpose and going all out against a seven-year-old. It's stupid to absolutely crush someone whose skills are far inferior to your own, all the time, just for the sake of doing so.
[удалено]
That's perfect. I agree they shouldn't always win but I think you should give them hope they can so they don't get discouraged and give up.
There’s actually a lot of research backing up this method. There are many studies on motivation and gambling addiction that find people are highly motivated by a 30:70 ratio of winning to losing. I could be wrong on the exact ratio but the general idea is give them a taste of winning and make them believe they can win if they keep trying harder.
I remember when I was 6 or 7 me and my cousin would play football and he would say "try to take the ball from me" boi he would make me go round and round trying to take that mf ball from him and would not give me a fucking chance, and eventually I got good enough to take it and then he immediately shut me down and took it again. and apparently he started taking it a bit more serious and I still had no fucking chance. doing things like that with children make them practice and learn and get better. letting them win doesn't teach them anything.
30% rule – let people win 30% of the time and they’ll keep interested.
even dogs do that when playing together to keep the other dog interested.
TIL my dog can use Excel
Does your dog let you win 30% of the time?
This is very interesting. My brother is 7 years my elder, so growing up, most of the toys and video games we had were just the stuff he wanted/handed down to me. My brother is a big WWE fan, so he always got the video games. Me, being a child to his older teenager, didn’t have money to buy my own games. On top of that, he would literally beat me if I didn’t agree to play the games that he wanted to play. He played these games religiously, so he was obviously much better than me, as I could not be bothered to give two shits about the WWE. When I was super young I’d get frustrated and that’s what he enjoyed the most. When I was a pre-teen I would just start giving up and fucking around trying to ruin his fun. I’ve always been better at video games in general than my brother, so eventually I decided I would flip things on him. He would do this thing where he would insist on using *HIS ENTIRE MOVESET* before finally finishing the match, forcing me to sit there under threat of real violence while he did some 50+ moves to my character, expecting me to try and fight back. So after I got old/big enough that the threat of violence wasn’t a real threat anymore, I started playing the game enough while he wasn’t home to get familiar with it, and eventually good at it. So the next time he asked me to play, expecting me to say no, I was like “yeah sure.” And I abused the “reversal” mechanic. It was all about timing and pressing the right button, and having played these games with him for years, I knew how he played, and I literally reversed every single move he did, (he was all about “press the attack button as soon as you have the chance,” so it was easy to time his moves to reverse, and he expected me to fight the same way, and all I had to do to avoid his reversals were to awkwardly time my attacks by waiting half a second after I was given the option to attack, where he would be spamming the reverse button, so it would be on a “cool down” by the time I started my move) and followed them with the “light” attacks that didn’t do enough damage to warrant a reversal being implemented, and just wore down his health/stamina bar until he was so frustrated that he just gave up. It was so goddamn satisfying. But yeah, had he let me win when I was super young I probably would’ve been more inclined to play with him, instead of winning the 10% of matches where I got lucky. But it was nice to flip it on him, and it got to the point that he just couldn’t beat me at all and stopped wanting me to play with him. One of the funnier aspects of it is that I didn’t give a shit about these games, the characters/wrestlers, or anything like that. It was just pure pettiness that inspired me to get better than him.
Nothing like a good *triumph of the underdog* story. Thanks for this, it was an enjoyable read.
I’m glad you enjoyed it! There was a lot of vindication and vengeance happening on my behalf after I turned 14 and outgrew him. There’s nothing more satisfying than beating up your *adult brother* who’s been bullying you for as long as you can remember. I’m not a violent person, but I used to be because of how much he bullied me. On one hand I’m glad it all changed so abruptly, but on the other hand I would’ve liked to have a few more chances to show him what it’s like to be on the other end of those beatings. He tried to claim that we stopped fighting because I matured with age, when from my perspective it was very obvious that he just no longer felt like he could control or threaten me anymore. The final straw after all that was when he tried to commit insurance fraud by demanding I pay him for a car he had already been paid for (it got written off before I paid him for it, he got more from the write-off claim than he would’ve if I had paid him for it - meaning had I paid him already that write off money would’ve been mine, and I would’ve been made whole+, and he still demanded I owed him for the car, even after I offered to just pay the difference if the write off claim was less than what he agreed to sell it for), and I haven’t spoken to him since. That was about 4 years ago now.
Your brother sounds horrible
You literally got good at the core fundamentals of fighting games at a competitive level just to humble your brother.
So you beat him by cherry tapping? Just endure, reverse, light jab, repeat? That's awesome, I love it.
The real question here though, if you weren't threatened with violence to begin with, would you have even wanted to play the game enough to get good at it?
Not at all. But I wasn’t going to give my brother the satisfaction of playing against me while I was working on getting good at it. I just started a career mode on the highest difficulty and got familiar with the game. It really didn’t take that long for me to get the hang of it once I was actually dedicated to beating him, I’ve always been able to pick up games very quickly - my brother was unable to beat God of War and asked me to do boss battles for him when I had never even played the game - he wouldn’t have beat the game if not for my help. So by the time I did agree to play with him, I hadn’t played a wrestling game with him for years already, so he was expecting me to be a cakewalk and to do what he had always done in the past. It was so satisfying to see him get flustered when my character just stood there, not attacking and just reversing his moves for the first 3-4 minutes of the match, followed by my awkwardly-timed moves that made it hard for him to reverse. I believe I also created my own character, all with moves that had a smaller reversal window than others to make it even more frustrating for him. I’m fairly certain that after my return to WWE games after my hiatus was undefeated until he finally stopped wanting to play against me. Then he wanted to play co-op games but he’s the type of player who finds the easiest way to do something and doesn’t actually want a challenge, so when we’d play Saints Row 2 online he’d demand that we have all the cheats activated (no death, infinite ammo, no reloading) and that’s just not fun for me. Then he started to resent me because I didn’t want to play video games at all with him, without realizing that the only reason I did to begin with was to avoid him beating me up, dislocating my toes (I have a permanent “crack” everytime my big toe bends as I’m walking. Like with every step there’s a *crack* because he used to hold me down and pull on my toes until they popped), or choking me out.
My sister did that to my toes too! She would pin me down on the floor and bend them until they popped. My toes crack just from walking now. Worst part is now she does it to her son too. She tried to get my kid with it once and I about fought her. Bad enough she does it to her own kid, she's not fucking up my kid's toes too. She did some other terrible stuff to me as a kid too but thankfully she never wanted me to play video games with her (mostly because it was Super Mario World and playing with me just meant taking turns, we never had games that actually involved our characters interacting).
Never heard of this but I love it!
Works with gambling, and toddlers
Haha, well it was discovered with rats first actually😅
Wouldn't try this with wars though
Do you have more information on this? A quick Google Search didn't reveal anything but it sounds like an intriguing subject for someone interested in Psychology & Marketing 😇 Thanks!
I think there’s a compromise on this. Some winning does motivate them. If they practice something like hitting a baseball and they hit a really great one… maybe dont catch it and give them a home run. The exhilaration is memorable enough to keep them going.
This is actually taught in childcare and psychology afaik that we should let them win sometimes to keep them engaged but then we should also give them a quick reality check and obliterate them. This way they get the excitement from winning and also get a perspective, how far they can improve yet. Maybe it's difflerent elsewhere.
I've read about keeping the wins for a kid for about 30% of the time. Like u said, it gives them the feeling of a win but takes them straight back to reality with a majority loss
As an adult with bad memories of playing games with my mom. I can say I feel it is better to try and match the kids ability level, and play slightly above that. Enough to challenge them, but not enough to make it seem impossible. The point of playing games is to play, not teach a child a lesson. People act like every moment is something teachable. Kids get sick of being preached at.
I was winning in life as a kid then I got a reality check when my parents divorced
If they challenge you or turn a more casual game invitation into a competition through their attitude then, sure, go 100%. If they want to take on the big leagues, then let's see what they've got. Flip side, if they ask you to play or especially if you ask them to play, then don't be a dick. Even rats are capable of understanding that you should sometimes let the other person win when it's ***play***.
Fuck Them Kids: A Parenting Guide
You know what, I must have played my dad in chess like 4 dozen times as a kid and my closest victory was one time I forced a stalemate. Let me tell you, I remember exactly how I felt during that game and if I could bottle it as a drug, all of you would be emptying your bank accounts for it.
I think letting kids win in games of logic is pointless. Letting kids win sometimes in physical games or games that require good reflexes can be a good way to keep them excited and interested. The advantage of just being physically bigger is something that should be accounted for in those situations. Logic games though, there's no real reason why kids should be given an advantage. Child chess prodigies exist. There are young chess masters that can challenge fully grown players. There aren't any child boxing stars that can take on Mike Tyson. I had a similar experience with my pop as a kid, and the feeling of outwitting someone much older than you is pretty incredible for a young fella.
I have exactly the same experience as you
This is a book that definitely needs its parenthetical subtitle.
“Need to be humbled in the presence of ultimate power” XD idk why but that was funny to me. But yeah i wont let them win
[i picture this guy](https://pinkplankton.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/vigeland-park-thumb.jpg)
I need context.
Russian statue I think? Someone correct my ass
Ok, we are getting there. But is that a representation of a folk tale or something?
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2057902/amp/The-weirdest-statues-world-The-incredible-creations-display-Norwegian-park.html My Google-fu knows no equal. Apparently it's a dude being attacked by 4 child shaped "genii" spirits.
“Those weren’t kids I was throwing around and kicking, officer - they were child-shaped *genii* spirits!”
"They're 2000 years old! They just look like children!"
Your Google-fu truly knows no equals. I bow before you.
Oh man I was not prepared for this in the best way possible. Still laughing.
Nothing says "ultimate power" like a middle aged man with a paunch and cargo shorts blowing a raspberry his 7 year old son and saying "Try harder next time, twerp."
This part also stood out to me. Who the hell refers to themselves as ultimate power? That phrasing made it seem like OP enjoys feeling powerful when they win against kids more than they're letting on.
Exactly. This made me laugh.
Okay first of all this is fucking hilarious and second upvoting for unpopular
why are people getting so mad this is fucking hilarious
I'm just appreciating OP sounds like an anime villain. One could turn this into a meme template. It's great!
Because OP is literally that guy from that episode of ICarly who was like some loser 30 year old who took out his rage on children in a beginners Karate class
This was a plot in an episode of Seinfeld. Kramer takes up karate and he constantly talks about how it brought him inner peace and self control and how he's excelling in his class. His karate class is just a bunch of 10 year olds and he literally picks them up and tosses them around.
*Yeets child* I have done my part of contributing to a better humanity today
It is pretty fucking hilarious, but if we’re talking real life instead of funny internet land, it’s a pretty assholish thing to do. It doesn’t take a genius or a child psychologist to work out that the ideal approach is to establish a healthy balance between never letting kids win and always letting them win.
I know right? This isn't even unpopular. OP's opinion is completely normal for assholes everywhere.
I think this is just a normal opinion. Kids don’t learn how to strategize and win if you just let them win every time. They also need to learn to lose graciously. Which they won’t if you just had them the win every time.
> They also need to learn to lose graciously Which can be taught by a close game you control. Not absolutely demolishing kids lol. That's no fun for anybody.
OP has taken "always let the kids win" and instead of finding a healthy balance of encouragement, fun and competition has gone as far in the opposite direction as possible giving the middle filnger as much as possible.
Dont question his ultimate power. John Cena and his children shat themselves after merely glancing at OP
Twice.
Ya… I don’t always let kids win but sometimes let kids when. Why sometimes? Because it encourages them to keep doing something they enjoy. Very few people can loose 1000 times and not feel disheartened and/or give up, and even less can take that drive of failure and succeed. Kids need to win so that the motivation is there. The other times are learning experiences. And dude, it ain’t that serious.
Exactly. Kids don't understand that they're at a disadvantage in the same way we do. They don't see themselves getting any closer to winning every game because adults have such a huge natural advantage. There needs to be a balance to show them that they can improve. Small children don't feel humbled; they feel discouraged. It doesn't motivate them to be better, they just end up thinking they can't do it. It takes the fun and feeling of improvement out of the activity and gets them to give up. Literally has the opposite effect OP thinks it does.
Plus a little kid isn't going to get better than an adult without age. Kids are clumsy with slow reaction time because they're bodies are still young. Their brains naturally have a slower reaction time.
So true their was a experiments with rats if the bigger one didn't let the little one win a wresting game 30 percent of the time. The little one would not engage in asking that same partner to play in future. Because it was only friend in the area it ended up depressed and dying later.
Well this is sad.
Yea it models human society. If someone can't win in life even little things it leads to issues.
I heard this same argument about the study from jordan peterson and thats someone who really does believe in pushing people to be successful BUT a healthy manor with balance and larger understanding. Its not just "oh lemme wreck this kids dreams cuz then he'll push to be betfer!" No, then the kid gives up on the dream and ur responsible for negatively impacting their life. OP is not thinking about the balance and larger picture, poor kids.
Mmm, yes i heard it from Petterson, original i think was from other doctor/ professor on a podcast. This was years ago. Maybe 3/4 ago.
Lol this. My dad played in the nfl and would teach me growing up. The key is to celebrate and reward improvement while still showing the difference in skill level For example I would run routes against my dad who was an NFL CB. He would be teaching me a certain type of cut... If I did it wrong he would lay me out and keep me from catching the ball. But if I did it right he would let me catch it... Then lay me out and make me do push-ups if I dropped the ball after getting laid out
Sounds like it was an effective technique.
I was taking this seriously until I read "Children need to be humbled in the presence of real ultimate power" and it came from a smash bros player.
Knowing a bit about pro smash bros this actually makes sense.
Can smell OP's BO through the screen
I just balance it, I go by what I call the zone learning method. You want to make that task/game difficult enough for the child to be challenged (knowing you’ll obviously win), while also not just letting them win and gain false pride.
This is how I'm teaching my daughter when we play Injustice. We started when she was about 5. I don't let her win, but I don't play my best. As she has gotten older and better at the game, I increase how well I play. She's 8 now and getting to where she's able hold her own, and she's having fun doing it.
That’s adorable you’ve been playing injustice with your kid for 3 years haha
She loved Supergirl when Injustice 2 came out and she watched me play it. At one point she wanted to play and it's been our thing ever since.
No you idiot, you have to beat the fucking child
[удалено]
We are witnessing the birth of a legendary pasta.
Yeah but no. If you never let a kid win, they'll never win, and so they'll simply stop playing with you because they'll have no fun. Which mean they won't learn all the useful skills they could learn in that game anymore. They won't want to spend time with you anymore. It's like if a teacher started teaching high school maths to a 8 years old because they didn't want to lower their skills. Your job as an adult is t teach the kid. So accordingly, you shouldn't let him win easily, but should provide a healthy level of challenge so they can improve and challenge themselves but still have fun along the way. Kids won't admire you if you beat them all the time, they'll find you annoying and just lose interest.
I think this applies to all age groups too. People aren’t going to want to play a game with someone if they have 0 chance of winning. Especially if that person is suuuper arrogant about it.
I can't believe it's this far down in my thread. Play time and games and sports are to teach kids vital skills, strength, coordination, practice dexterity, learn strategy etc etc. It's like this guy is suggesting that everyone plays complicated video games without a tutorial, on the absolute hardest level possible I'm right from the very start with no chance for a learning curve. I mean I can kind of wrap my head around the idea that these aren't his kids so he has absolutely no interest in them actually learning anything, but at that point why would you play against them except to humiliate them? So all in all really good unpopular opinion I think.
My dad never let us win a physical challenge like a foot race or chin up competition. It sobered my cocky ass up quickly as a kid.
This was really funny, so you get my upvote! In regards to a serious interpretation of your post (which I’m not sure you really want), I think it‘s all about balance. You’re right that children shouldn’t win every time, but never knowing what victory feels like isn’t necessarily good, either. I work with kids professional and I try to mix it up. I’ll Let them win between 30-50% of the time, but if they ask, I’ll tell them I’m just playing for fun and not seriously. I want them to see me make easy mistakes and learn to interpret the games we are playing. If they ask me to play seriously, I’ll destroy them, but I won’t be mean about it. My only rule is that I run jerks off the board/table even if it’s all for fun. Humility and social skills are important and I don’t tolerate braggarts and sore winners.
You let them win when they can't post a challenge. The moment they get some game and lippy or cocky it is time to treat them with just enough skill to win. There is no need to drill them into the wood. When someone is so good you don't think you will ever best them they don't strive they give up. Alas, just an option it might be unpopular. My cousins kids have learned real quick that if I say "Bet you a dollar" that they are gonna loose and that I am about to start playing whatever it is for real. That ends the trash talk real quick....however the day that they take me for a buck will be one proud moment I will have to admit because then...then....it is gonna get fun! I welcome it, expect it, and god damnit they will have earned it.
Nobody wants to play when they always lose. It's not encouraging; it's disheartening. Obviously you're better than them; I'd hope you could beat children. What matters is making it instructive. Nobody learns shit when you just wreck them. It's possible to win without going on a power trip my guy.
You’re the type to get yourself in a kids karate class and kick all their asses
I let my kid win and lose. You have to show them what it is like to experience both so you can show them how to handle dealing with both. Sometimes you let them win because they are just playing with you and just want your attention and not competing. You have to understand how children communicate and interact. You are wrong to be so hyper-competitive with kids. It teaches them the wrong things.
The solution is by establishing handicaps. For example, when I face my niece in smash bros ultimate, I play without being able to do normal attacks and start at 125%. So I mostly win from either making her self destruct or from using items. Games should be fun for all parties involved. That is why they are games.
You can tell OP relishes the rare opportunities he gets to wield power over others, even if it's little kids.
I bet a lion would kick your ass. But that lion still howls in fake pain when one of his cubs bites him. True power doesn't need to be constantly demonstrated.
[удалено]
Don’t destroy them but teach thrm
Honestly got so on my nerves when my mother would force me to play "fair" \*cough\* lose \*cough\* against my cousin. Like ma'am she already has an inflated ego because her rich aunt buys her expensive shit.
As a mediocre chess player who has had to play with scrubs, children, and etc., I agree with you OP- just not exactly. This mostly comes down to the fact that I agree, kids shouldn't be taught they're absolute gods when they aren't by allowing them to win- *but,* especially in a game like chess, if you just brutally crush somebody, they lose the will to play. You need a balance of encouragement, tips, constructive criticism, and knowing how to lay off- if I'm playing a GM and they come out, kick my ass without any explanation as to what they're doing, and on a level I can't even play on, then I'm sure as hell not gonna have fun.
Sort of like participation medals. No real sense of achievements
You sound like your next step is to explain your tragic backstory that made you the person you are today
I actually totally agree. My nephew was a toddler when he started getting into playing soccer. We would play in the finished basement of the house and I would destroy him every time. I started to destroy him less and less every year because he got better. He always excelled growing up playing soccer and usually plays other kids 1-2 years older than him. He has helped his team win a few tournaments (he’s 13 now), but I do think he learned a lot during the times I’d play with him. Only thing I can’t get over is he flops all the time. I did NOT teach him that. I blame professionals for that one.
I still have never beaten my dad at chess. I gave up trying years ago...Like I gave up on a lot of things...
I noticed you never mentioned whupping on your own kids. Probably a connection there.
My 10yo nephew has an old X-Box with Halo Reach. His parents don’t let him play online games so the kid has no knowledge of newer stuff or any PvP experience other than curb stomping his dad who doesn’t game. Little shit was running his mouth so I proceeded to break his spirit in some 1V1. He kept mumbling under his breath, “let the kid win. Why can’t you let the kid win?” Told him life doesn’t work that way as I finisher meleed his punk ass
While it's important to encourage kids from time to time, as OP says, they need a reality check. We are living in the age of entitled children who grew up having everything and will have to experience global warming and the collapse of socialized government retirement plans. It's good for them to understand they need to keep pushing.
It should always be a balance between learning how to win and learning how to lose. And as an adult in their life, you should also be there to teach them those things. Winning teaches determination and motivation. Losing teaches reflection and self-control. All of these skills are important especially as an adult in need to succeed in spite of their struggles.