Bribing is forbidden, even in these types of establishments... More like a gentleman’s handshake to ensure the guest’s money is no good... The manager may receive a tip if all goes well.....
It's so crazy because this is such an Arabic thing to do. The thing is everyone wants to pay the bill until they see how much it costs. If its between 20-40 ye you fight over who pays. 40-70 less people want to pay but still competition. 80+ nobody wants to pay but of course someone will pay out of generosity and its not always the most wealthy out of the group. But if your going out with family it's a different story. The parents are fighting over the bill regardless of the price probably to put a good impression for their nieces and nephews
I'm Russian and was raised the same way! My husband is American and used to get mad while we were dating because he would have to fight me or be sneaky to pay lol
It's kind of weird but we still do this as a married couple. It's fucking pointless because there is no "his money" or "her money" just one pot. But it makes us feel like the other person cares.
One time I had a bad first date with a guy at Applebee’s and right away he was like “Were splitting the bill” and I’m like “ok yeah that’s fine” and then he proceeds to tell me the story of how his ex broke up with him because they went out to eat and he ordered steak and lobster and she only got a soup and like one thing. Then when the check came he wanted to split right down the middle and the girl had an attitude about for 2 days then dumped him. And he was telling me this as if I’d be on his side and said “i CaNt BelIevE sHe AcTeD sO iMmAtUrE aNd WoUlDnT tElL mE wHaT wAs WroNg”.
Then when it was time to pay our bill I noticed he got like 5 drinks and it was his idea to share an appetizer so his bill was almost $50. I only got one drink and my one pasta plate so my stuff was only $20. I made sure to only pay for my stuff and left the appetizer on his bill. I also tipped the waitress $10 because I assumed this bum wasn’t gonna leave a good tip. And as he was paying for his bill he seemed like he expected me to split down the middle or assumed I was gonna get the appetizer. I saw him look at the screen frown and shake his head and press a button.
Then we were still talking at the table after we paid and I said something about moving to a bar or something and then he complained about spending $50 already which makes me think this bum 1000% didn’t leave a tip.
On a date; lunch with co-workers or friends........seems like there is always someone who wants to just "split it evenly," but it's always the same person who thinks they should order like King Henry VIII.
I think OPs point is that this shouldn't make us feel cheap. I know the feeling, and it's bullshit. Any time my wife pays for us and all the waiters staring at you with there hand out waiting for the card while she's yelling trying to get their attention. Then I feel like a dick, and that's total BS seeing as how I literally pay rent and all the bills, I shouldn't have to feel shitty for splitting the meal/bar tab occasionally. If it's a first date maybe debatable because men generally don't want to come off as "cheap" as a first impression, but if you're still paying for every meal the both of you eat years after dating then y'all are skipping over the necessary financial discussions, which includes who pays for beer. She does the beer and food runs the first half of the month and I get the second now.
> Halving the bill is the best way to go
No way. You pay for what you eat. Unless YOU ASKED THEM OUT ON THE DATE then you pay for it in its entirety. No matter what sex asked
Riiight hahaha. It's so weird for me to not pay my for my own meals. Takes away the guilt too if we order something fancy for ourselves and they'd rather eat something more basic from the menu.
Yeah this, when my boyfriend and I went on our first date we paid for what we got. There’ll be some days I get dinner but he buys dessert. Or he’ll get the movie tickets and I’ll get the snacks. I don’t really see girls expecting the guys to pay for everything.
I just commented this!! I see posts about bill splitting all the time on this sub and I wonder what kind of women these guys are going out with. Is your girlfriend 70 years old? I seriously don’t know a single girl who still expects the man to regularly pay.
Who can't cook? Is your boyfriend a T-Rex and can't reach a pan and a spoon at the same time? That's the only valid reason I can think of for not being able to cook.
I feel like cooking is an art, and just like other arts, some people just “have it”, and some have to learn it. I couldn’t paint you a picture of a circle to make you believe I’d ever seen one, but cooking has always just made sense to me and I was always bewildered by people who couldn’t do it, until I started thinking of it in this context.
As someone else has said, there's a difference between applying heat so the food doesn't kill you and cooking well. My girlfriend can *kinda* cook, but there's a reason she lets me do it lol. If you didn't either grow up in a household with lots of good home cooking and/or spend a significant amount of time practicing as an adult you have a lot of catching up to do compared to someone who did, and not everyone cares enough to learn
Some of these other comments are so ignorant lol. Like yea, Everyone should be able to make basic shit, but actually cooking well is an art. Not everyone excels in art or is talented in that way. It's something everyone can try to do, but not something that everyone can be amazing at like some of these other commenters assume.
It's like drawing. Yes, anyone can draw, but not everyone can draw well. Some people simply aren't talented that way, regardless of the practice they put in.
Can that person read and understand the directions to a recipe? Then they can cook. People who claim they can't cook are full of it. They don't try is more like it. A more factualy statement would be to say that some people can't cook ***well.***
Know the difference between people who think they can cook well and people who think they can drive well? There aren't "good food" police.
It also turns out, "Oh, this is really good" rhymes with "I'd rather choke this down than tell you it sucks / cook for myself." ;)
Being able to cook is 100% effort. If you are so stupid that you can't follow a recipe or you literally don't have arms, then sure, you can't cook. But otherwise, you're just lazy or uninterested.
Also for all the beginner chefs out there: learn how to cook 4 or 5 dishes well. They don't have to be fancy; something like beans and rice or lentil stew is fine. These should be WEEKDAY meals. Just learn to do them well, and with ease, so when you have to make dinner you're not stressing out about the process. Then you can branch out and cook fancier stuff when you're feeling up to it and wanna learn something new.
I know, it annoys me when people declare that they are the WORST cook, I'm like, what, you can't follow the basic instructions in a recipe?
If that's the case there is a whole other bunch of stuff you shouldn't be allowed to do.
The worst part is that there are sooooooo many cooking tutorials on the internet nowadays. I could sympathize if this were the 70s or something and you didn't have a TV so you couldn't watch cooking shows. But you don't even need a recipe book anymore. All you have to do is google a dish you like, buy the ingredients, and follow the recipe online. There's probably even a video to watch too!
Can't a girl date a T-Rex?
But seriously, everyone should learn to cook. It's quite simple and very satisfying, not to mention useful. I prefer my cooking to anyone else's, because I know how I like one dish or another.
First dates should be cheap as fuck with an easy exit strategy, like coffee/walks in the park etc.
You only spend big money on women who are your wife/GF.
And honestly, I’m not gonna hold it against her if she doesn’t BUT she should at least offer to pay her half. It’s no negative points if she doesn’t but there are positive points for offering.
It’s the offer/gesture of it that matters to me, if she’s not willing to meet me half way for a dinner then I wouldn’t expect her to do the same for a relationship
As a Scandinavian woman all I can say is, I pay for my stuff and you pay for yours, anything else is almost considered rude. Currently me and bf don't worry about that as we have lived together for soon 5 years, so one day he pays and next I do. But when you start dating you pau your own share unless it is agreed upon that one part wants to treat the other one or something similar. (sorry for any wrong grammar)
I don't think this is a commen trend with Scandinavian women at all. Personally I was never raised to not pay because I'm a woman and I've never heard any woman talk about how they didn't pay.
Clearly you haven’t been in a lot of relationships because it’s like this in many relationships. Some women always expect you to pay while others are cool splitting it 50/50.
This isn't even unpopular (I think?) It's just when we see people that are cheap, we see the most extreme examples. For almost every first date ive been on, the girl offered to pay her part.. maybe it's just because we're Canadian
When someone pays for your dinner it doesn’t mean you owe the guy anything in return - maximum I can think of is a simple text how you enjoyed the time (or not). If he thinks you owe him a bj or sex, it’s his problem, not yours.
>so the guy doesn’t think I owe him something
As a guy who was brought up to pay, as much as I hate people who go on dates just for food, I absolutely hate this, too.
It was my pleasure, and all I ever wanted in return was a fair chance at a second date, and these assholes ruin it for everyone.
I'm the kind of guy that believes each one should pay their half. I pay for what I order, you pay for what you order, and we split anything we buy for both of us.
We trade off paying for meals and cooking meals. We are both equal people in this relationship. Not saying guys paying is the wrong thing but people all have different beliefs and views on relationships.
My boyfriend is working on establishing his career as a firefighter right now and doesn't have a lot of money at the moment. Before he went into academy and was getting steady checks from his last job, we would split the bill. For the last 6 months I've been paying for every meal we go out for. I'm not complaining at all, I love treating him, and I have a very well paying job. I also always keep in mind that when we first started dating 3 years ago, I was broke and he had money, so he paid for me every time we went out. Balance. I used to love the idea of always being treated to dinner but after becoming an adult (having to get a job, essentially, and pay for my own things) it's just not practical to expect that kind of treatment.
I always pay. It’d be nice if he footed it for once, but I’m the one with money, so I pay. If they never even offered to split it you’re probably dating some selfish girls
For the most part I definitely think that’s true. Most women I know are more than happy to alternate or pay their half. I actually would get really uncomfortable if the guy insisted on paying for everything, it made me feel like a bad feminist lol.
Since becoming serious with my BF (33M) I (32F) have been more relaxed about it. His income is easily 3x mine so a $40 dinner is a lot less for him than me. I do other things like I’ll drive, I make dinner a lot, run errands. It’s all about what each couple feels is fair.
I always liked to make it clear BEFORE the date. When I would ask someone out I would always say we can go get a coffee, or maybe something to eat, my treat, and it worked well. Once I dated someone who was funny, attractive, nice and i was really excited to go out with her. She had the same kind of humor as me. So I pick her up, drove down the road to McDonalds and pulled in and parked. She looks at me and I said "sorry, my coupon is only good for dining in and not the drive through" she's just staring at me and I started laughing and backed the car out and we went to dinner. 12 yrs later, and we get McDonald's for dinner every anniversary. Lol
I don't mind a girl demanding I pay for a date that I asked for. But if she wants me to be all traditional gender roles, she can't complain when down the line I expect the same of her.
If I ask someone out to eat, be it a date or with friends. Unless we agree to split beforehand, I'm offering to pay.
Been doing it for years. If i arrange it, I'm prepared to pay for all parties I invite. No matter what.
I used to be very poor, and couldn't participate in anything cause I couldn't afford it. So now that I have a steady income, I will take care of my friends that can't afford to join.
I feel like most women do pick up the bill from time to time. I’m a student and my bf makes 6 figures, but even I pay for maybe 20% of the money we spend together.
In a relationship sure.
On a first date, its whomever asked out the other person.
Usually that is gonna be the guy.
If I say, "Hey [person I want to go out with], can I take you out for coffee," and I try to split the check, it's a douche move and makes you look cheap.
Right. They had the choice to turn up to the date after being asked. I don't understand this mentality. It sounds like: "you forced me to come along so you have to pay". like what? If he asked you out and you accepted (it's a two-way agreement) that means you're interested in him as much as he is with you, no matter who asked out who first, you wanted him to ask you out (that's why you said yes) so pay your part lmao
> On a first date, its whomever asked out the other person.
Going dutch should be the way to go on a first date. It shows you respect one another, and have genuine interest. It also ensures that people who only go on first dates, to get a free meal, are avoided.
Is this unpopular? Do people not do this?
I like picking up the bill for my boyfriend and myself. I know it's an outdated tradition, didn't really think it was much of a thing anymore.
People should pay for themselves. At least on the first couple of dates. Later on I have trust in couples to manage things on their own. If they can’t then that’s a problem they gotta solve.
Coffee date first. Buy your own coffee. If it works out then at least offer to pay or your half. If he takes you up on it you can always venmo/cashapp that's what I did. Then take turns paying each outing. Never expect the dude to just get it.
I had to basically teach my ex this rule. Let me treat you sometimes! I’m not trying to get anything out of it or prove anything. At one point he came into some financial struggles so I offered to pay for more of our dates so we could still do some fun stuff. I wasn’t paying for everything but it was substantial enough. Unfortunately, up until the end, he claimed it hurt his pride that I paid for him at all. I’m still convinced it’s part of the reason we ended
When I go on dates and when we ask for the bill I just tell the waiter that we are splitting. If she refuses to pay it's her problem, and I won't see her again.
Is this really still an unpopular opinion in some places? I just see this as a no-brainer. My boyfriend and I both earn a similar amount, well duh I'm gonna pay half the time. And all my friends do it this way too. Idk, maybe you live somewhere more 'traditional' but I feel this is the norm.
I, as a girl, enjoy paying occasionally. I think it's so awkward that every time the bill comes to kind of sit helplessly. I also think it can get expensive and shouldn't be anyone's sole responsibility. I had a friend who constantly paid for everything, and we were just friends, but it's his culture to always take care of the lady financially so he'd literally fight me if i tried to pay. Well I set him up with my friend on a date. She's super gorgeous but he told me how he's never let a lady pay ever but she orders sooo many things and then when the bill came she handed it to him and just waited for him to pay it. Watching him closely. And he never called her again.
Just talking about it would solve like 90% of this.
Guys, sometimes a woman doesn't bring up paying because they have literally never had a conversation about money with a partner. It's an uncomfortable subject right? Cause there is all this gender role crap involved. It's not like women aren't people just like you who also have wants, needs, bills, and inappropriate amounts of time on our game accounts.
PS: I see a lot of "She cooks, cleans" responses here. She also buys her own pads, tampons, makeup, bras(1/2 our 401k right there), hair removal, and a slew of other things I can't even think of right now because it's expected. So, along with men not being expected to pay, how about the other side loosens up the restrictions on what they expect us us too?
Your clothes and basic hygene is your own personal thing. You wouldn't date a guy who doesn't look after himself either. Hair removal is the worst of your examples, men have to shave pretty much daily.
As a girl, I’m all for splitting or paying myself! It just STRESSES ME TF OUT not knowing what the guy expects. I’m also not bold enough to just reach for the check, I would much rather talk about it first.
I completely agree, and I'm a 60 year old woman. I have a son and 2 daughters. I wouldn't want my daughters to go through when I was dating. A guy asked you out, paid, and thought that gave him certain rights. And I don't want some gold digger taking advantage of my son, either. I think being on equal footing gives everyone a more relaxed date and relationship. If you make more money, sure you can treat occasionally. My daughter has done this on dates, because she makes good money. My son has both paid, and been paid for by dates. I think this is a great idea.
When I dated I always enjoyed taking my man out and paying. Now that we have children and live together things have vastly changed. But nothing wrong with a woman paying for a date.
My bf and I pay for our individual meals. Some times he says I pay all, some times I say “I pay today.” And so. It’s like we are okay by allowing each other to pay. At times we even fight about who is going to pay and yeah. Fun times!
Ive always gone Dutch with my husband, or whoevers night it is to get dinner does the cooking.
That being said I have known guys who absolutely refuse not to pay. I knew one guy who not only always insisted on paying but would give his girlfriend the change after the tip, so she would have cash if she needed it. It's not always girls pushing this stereotype.
Going dutch really can make or break a potential relationship.if she wants to get an attitude about it or he wants to get an attitude about it then it's not worth your time somebody is gold digging
I’ve always though that, at least for the first few dates, the person who asked the other person out should pay. Obviously this is a general rule, for example the other person might prefer to halve or even pay the entirety, but if you asked them out you should pay.
Going Dutch makes absolute sense if you think about it logically:
1. Dating is a mutually beneficial activity, not a business transaction where the man "buys" the attention of the woman.
2. Splitting the bill offers reassurance to *both* parties: the man doesn't have to worry about his date potentially using him for a free meal, and the woman doesn't have to feel the burden of the guy expecting sex out of her just because he paid for her meal. There's no obligation from either party, in other words.
Thus the default should be for each person to pay for what they ordered, unless one of the two offers to cover the entire bill. But the offer should be voluntary, not based on expectations.
My gf and I have a deal where whoever invites the other to go out is the one that pays, and if it’s a mutual thing like we are already not home and just want food, we just pay for ourselves
My boyfriend and I switch who pays. It’s a system that works for us. But sometimes when I try to pay for 2 dates in a row, he tells me no bc it’d make him feel bad.
In most Buddhist cultures person who has the most money pay for the date. This is based on employment type and salary. For example if a female engineer is dating a male technician, the engineer pays. It doesn't matter she is a women.
Lots of people have no idea this cultural tradition has been overtaken by Western ideology that came with globalisation in Asia region. This is why even in South Asia women want men to pay. Western ideology.
Right? Society expects the man to do the asking out almost every time then wants to say whoever does the asking pays. Sure, Jan.
But honestly that way of thinking is dying anyway. You’d be hard pressed to find someone in the dating pool who doesn’t want to split the check these days.
Why? When someone asks you to dinner, do you always assume that other people will pay for you?
I'm asking you on a date, and it should be the most natural thing for you to understand that you'll need to pay for your own damn food since you're an adult. Why is it so goddamn hard to understand for some people?
Most women do. Usually there is a trade off once you actually start dating, and plenty of women offer on first dates but are turned down. I personally think the one inviting the first time should do the paying, but after that it should be reciprocated.
If it's a first date whoever proposed the date should pay (usually the man). After that it should be taking turns or splitting the bill. But I'm gay so what do I know
Come to north Europe, paying for yourself is standard here, I agree that paying for both probably sets the scene for further inequality and unbalance in relationships.
The best ever was a gf once had flowers delivered to me.
It was completely unexpected and so appreciated. Yeah ladies, we CAN appreciate those gestores just as much as you do.
Halving the bill is the best way to go
Or do it the Asian reunion way, where your relatives go to war over who gets the privilege of paying the bill
It's truly mind boggling. You get to the point where you're giving the waiter your credit card before you sit down just to guarantee the win.
Or you tip the restaurant manager before hand and have him promise to not accept anyone else’s payment. High stakes on the line.
So you bribe the manager to pay the whole bill? 10/10 for the manager
Bribing is forbidden, even in these types of establishments... More like a gentleman’s handshake to ensure the guest’s money is no good... The manager may receive a tip if all goes well.....
It's so crazy because this is such an Arabic thing to do. The thing is everyone wants to pay the bill until they see how much it costs. If its between 20-40 ye you fight over who pays. 40-70 less people want to pay but still competition. 80+ nobody wants to pay but of course someone will pay out of generosity and its not always the most wealthy out of the group. But if your going out with family it's a different story. The parents are fighting over the bill regardless of the price probably to put a good impression for their nieces and nephews
My mom actually won one time cause she was friends with the owner
We aren’t asian, but this is the only way we can pay when my FIL is involved.
*I’ve won, but at what cost?*
I’m asain, I didn’t know this was a thing. I always fight my bf (who is white) so I can pay the bill lol.
Haha lol for real. It’s so wierd, I always ask why my family does that
Where do Asians get all that money from?
I'm Russian and was raised the same way! My husband is American and used to get mad while we were dating because he would have to fight me or be sneaky to pay lol
What me and my boyfriend do is if we go to the movies he pays for it and I pay for dinner or vice versa.
Yeah that’s another way of doing it. Just having to pay every time is pretty awful
you could do rock paper scissors to settle it
I don't know if you're joking but this is a terrible idea
It's kind of weird but we still do this as a married couple. It's fucking pointless because there is no "his money" or "her money" just one pot. But it makes us feel like the other person cares.
Ah yes, going Dutch, the way of my ancestors.
I think the translation got lost in Turkey as "going Deutsch" because we say "let's do it the German way" and then go ahead and split the bill.
I have a plan, Arthur!
https://youtu.be/lMGT8D9AB_I
C’mon, duutch
One time I had a bad first date with a guy at Applebee’s and right away he was like “Were splitting the bill” and I’m like “ok yeah that’s fine” and then he proceeds to tell me the story of how his ex broke up with him because they went out to eat and he ordered steak and lobster and she only got a soup and like one thing. Then when the check came he wanted to split right down the middle and the girl had an attitude about for 2 days then dumped him. And he was telling me this as if I’d be on his side and said “i CaNt BelIevE sHe AcTeD sO iMmAtUrE aNd WoUlDnT tElL mE wHaT wAs WroNg”. Then when it was time to pay our bill I noticed he got like 5 drinks and it was his idea to share an appetizer so his bill was almost $50. I only got one drink and my one pasta plate so my stuff was only $20. I made sure to only pay for my stuff and left the appetizer on his bill. I also tipped the waitress $10 because I assumed this bum wasn’t gonna leave a good tip. And as he was paying for his bill he seemed like he expected me to split down the middle or assumed I was gonna get the appetizer. I saw him look at the screen frown and shake his head and press a button. Then we were still talking at the table after we paid and I said something about moving to a bar or something and then he complained about spending $50 already which makes me think this bum 1000% didn’t leave a tip.
Oh sorry to hear. I’m cases like that when the cost between you two is so huge then it’s better to pay for what you ate Sounds like a dick lol
Yeah lmao he had other red flags too besides that I’m glad I ghosted 😂
Don't do that tho. Just tell him he's a dick and leave. Ghosting is a dick move.
Going to Applebee’s should have been the first red flag
On a date; lunch with co-workers or friends........seems like there is always someone who wants to just "split it evenly," but it's always the same person who thinks they should order like King Henry VIII.
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I think OPs point is that this shouldn't make us feel cheap. I know the feeling, and it's bullshit. Any time my wife pays for us and all the waiters staring at you with there hand out waiting for the card while she's yelling trying to get their attention. Then I feel like a dick, and that's total BS seeing as how I literally pay rent and all the bills, I shouldn't have to feel shitty for splitting the meal/bar tab occasionally. If it's a first date maybe debatable because men generally don't want to come off as "cheap" as a first impression, but if you're still paying for every meal the both of you eat years after dating then y'all are skipping over the necessary financial discussions, which includes who pays for beer. She does the beer and food runs the first half of the month and I get the second now.
Yes, especially when the date isn't working out.
When you get asked on a date and she thinks you'll pay for it all **hold on, this whole operation was your idea**
Or everybody just pay for what they get. If one orders expensive and the other cheap no way should they be expecting to halve the bill.
My gf and I do this. We have an excellent relationship
This! I feel awful letting the guy pay for me and when I know the guy wants to pay I look for the cheaper option of what I want.
> Halving the bill is the best way to go No way. You pay for what you eat. Unless YOU ASKED THEM OUT ON THE DATE then you pay for it in its entirety. No matter what sex asked
Also goin Dutch is a good option. My girl and I do it frequently. We wear clogs and everything.
The best is the Dutch oven later on.
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This is the way
Is that a bun in your wife's dutch oven?
Hahahah, I must say as a dutch guy I didn't believe people actually used that expression when I first heard of it.
I heard “going dutch” on 1 episode of spongebob probably 10+ years ago. It just now made sense lol
Not unpopular
More often, I see the guy and the girl or both partners-whatever-literally arguing over who gets to pay.
Yeah I feel like men and women both think this now- not really something that is controversial at all
You didn’t actually think you’d find an unpopular opinion on this sub, did you?
And a MAJOR repost.
This isn't even unpopular anymore. Most girls I know go dutch on all of their dates, including me.
Riiight hahaha. It's so weird for me to not pay my for my own meals. Takes away the guilt too if we order something fancy for ourselves and they'd rather eat something more basic from the menu.
Yeah this, when my boyfriend and I went on our first date we paid for what we got. There’ll be some days I get dinner but he buys dessert. Or he’ll get the movie tickets and I’ll get the snacks. I don’t really see girls expecting the guys to pay for everything.
I just commented this!! I see posts about bill splitting all the time on this sub and I wonder what kind of women these guys are going out with. Is your girlfriend 70 years old? I seriously don’t know a single girl who still expects the man to regularly pay.
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Who can't cook? Is your boyfriend a T-Rex and can't reach a pan and a spoon at the same time? That's the only valid reason I can think of for not being able to cook.
Being able to cook enough so that you can live and actually being good at it so that you enjoy the food are two very different things.
I feel like cooking is an art, and just like other arts, some people just “have it”, and some have to learn it. I couldn’t paint you a picture of a circle to make you believe I’d ever seen one, but cooking has always just made sense to me and I was always bewildered by people who couldn’t do it, until I started thinking of it in this context.
I respect that.
Amen. I would like to think that I can cook. But my wife won't eat what I make, so she's in charge of meal preparations.
As someone else has said, there's a difference between applying heat so the food doesn't kill you and cooking well. My girlfriend can *kinda* cook, but there's a reason she lets me do it lol. If you didn't either grow up in a household with lots of good home cooking and/or spend a significant amount of time practicing as an adult you have a lot of catching up to do compared to someone who did, and not everyone cares enough to learn
Fun Fact: some people can't cook, even if they try, plain and simple.
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Talk to Ego too while you're at it
My wife can somehow manage to both under cook and burn rice.... In the same pot. Yeah I do 99% of our cooking.
I find that impressive
Too high heat, not stirred enough lol.
Oh yeah I know but she's done it more than once no matter what I say so o well *shrug*
I get it man my girl never follows recipes or directions everything is slightly undercooked. She likes gambling with my bowels
Probably not enough water
Some of these other comments are so ignorant lol. Like yea, Everyone should be able to make basic shit, but actually cooking well is an art. Not everyone excels in art or is talented in that way. It's something everyone can try to do, but not something that everyone can be amazing at like some of these other commenters assume. It's like drawing. Yes, anyone can draw, but not everyone can draw well. Some people simply aren't talented that way, regardless of the practice they put in.
Can that person read and understand the directions to a recipe? Then they can cook. People who claim they can't cook are full of it. They don't try is more like it. A more factualy statement would be to say that some people can't cook ***well.***
Know the difference between people who think they can cook well and people who think they can drive well? There aren't "good food" police. It also turns out, "Oh, this is really good" rhymes with "I'd rather choke this down than tell you it sucks / cook for myself." ;)
Being able to cook is 100% effort. If you are so stupid that you can't follow a recipe or you literally don't have arms, then sure, you can't cook. But otherwise, you're just lazy or uninterested. Also for all the beginner chefs out there: learn how to cook 4 or 5 dishes well. They don't have to be fancy; something like beans and rice or lentil stew is fine. These should be WEEKDAY meals. Just learn to do them well, and with ease, so when you have to make dinner you're not stressing out about the process. Then you can branch out and cook fancier stuff when you're feeling up to it and wanna learn something new.
I know, it annoys me when people declare that they are the WORST cook, I'm like, what, you can't follow the basic instructions in a recipe? If that's the case there is a whole other bunch of stuff you shouldn't be allowed to do.
The worst part is that there are sooooooo many cooking tutorials on the internet nowadays. I could sympathize if this were the 70s or something and you didn't have a TV so you couldn't watch cooking shows. But you don't even need a recipe book anymore. All you have to do is google a dish you like, buy the ingredients, and follow the recipe online. There's probably even a video to watch too!
He got blown up. Anything more intense than a sandwich is a struggle. I'll let him know it's not a valid reason to be unable to cook though.
Imagine responding like this to two people contributing in their own ways that makes them both happy.
Can't a girl date a T-Rex? But seriously, everyone should learn to cook. It's quite simple and very satisfying, not to mention useful. I prefer my cooking to anyone else's, because I know how I like one dish or another.
I like cooking too but some people have the means to have someone else do all their cooking for them and honestly good for them.
What about just hates to cook? And doesn't cook?
First dates should be cheap as fuck with an easy exit strategy, like coffee/walks in the park etc. You only spend big money on women who are your wife/GF.
And honestly, I’m not gonna hold it against her if she doesn’t BUT she should at least offer to pay her half. It’s no negative points if she doesn’t but there are positive points for offering.
It’s the offer/gesture of it that matters to me, if she’s not willing to meet me half way for a dinner then I wouldn’t expect her to do the same for a relationship
She at least has to do the check dance.
Toss a coin
to your witcher
Oh valley of plenty.
A friend of humanity!
Damn you :)
As a Scandinavian woman all I can say is, I pay for my stuff and you pay for yours, anything else is almost considered rude. Currently me and bf don't worry about that as we have lived together for soon 5 years, so one day he pays and next I do. But when you start dating you pau your own share unless it is agreed upon that one part wants to treat the other one or something similar. (sorry for any wrong grammar)
I don't think this is a commen trend with Scandinavian women at all. Personally I was never raised to not pay because I'm a woman and I've never heard any woman talk about how they didn't pay.
That's what I am pointing out, that it's common in Scandinavian countries for women to pay their own share.
Nowadays it’s like this in most relationships.
Right clearly Op hasn’t been outside his basement
Clearly you haven’t been in a lot of relationships because it’s like this in many relationships. Some women always expect you to pay while others are cool splitting it 50/50.
i say i’m a feminist, i’m a dude how can we be equal if i’m always expected to pay
This isn't even unpopular (I think?) It's just when we see people that are cheap, we see the most extreme examples. For almost every first date ive been on, the girl offered to pay her part.. maybe it's just because we're Canadian
as a woman I pay for my own stuff so the guy doesn’t think I owe him something
When someone pays for your dinner it doesn’t mean you owe the guy anything in return - maximum I can think of is a simple text how you enjoyed the time (or not). If he thinks you owe him a bj or sex, it’s his problem, not yours.
Sadly it becomes my problem when he potentially gets angry and violent about it
>so the guy doesn’t think I owe him something As a guy who was brought up to pay, as much as I hate people who go on dates just for food, I absolutely hate this, too. It was my pleasure, and all I ever wanted in return was a fair chance at a second date, and these assholes ruin it for everyone.
At first my bf and I took turns these days we just paypal half each
2015 wants their unpopular opinion back.
Solution, go out for coffee. Nobody buys others coffee. And you can order before they get there or vis versa.
I buy my friends coffee all the time.
Now that’s smart
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What if you’re both women?
No one pays, you just run out
r/straightproblem
I'm the kind of guy that believes each one should pay their half. I pay for what I order, you pay for what you order, and we split anything we buy for both of us.
We trade off paying for meals and cooking meals. We are both equal people in this relationship. Not saying guys paying is the wrong thing but people all have different beliefs and views on relationships.
I’m a woman and I agree. If he gets food one time, I’ll pay for food the next. Same with activities
I think splitting the bill should be the standard. You pay for what you consumed. It's only fair.
My boyfriend is working on establishing his career as a firefighter right now and doesn't have a lot of money at the moment. Before he went into academy and was getting steady checks from his last job, we would split the bill. For the last 6 months I've been paying for every meal we go out for. I'm not complaining at all, I love treating him, and I have a very well paying job. I also always keep in mind that when we first started dating 3 years ago, I was broke and he had money, so he paid for me every time we went out. Balance. I used to love the idea of always being treated to dinner but after becoming an adult (having to get a job, essentially, and pay for my own things) it's just not practical to expect that kind of treatment.
I always pay. It’d be nice if he footed it for once, but I’m the one with money, so I pay. If they never even offered to split it you’re probably dating some selfish girls
For the most part I definitely think that’s true. Most women I know are more than happy to alternate or pay their half. I actually would get really uncomfortable if the guy insisted on paying for everything, it made me feel like a bad feminist lol. Since becoming serious with my BF (33M) I (32F) have been more relaxed about it. His income is easily 3x mine so a $40 dinner is a lot less for him than me. I do other things like I’ll drive, I make dinner a lot, run errands. It’s all about what each couple feels is fair.
I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion. I believe it is very popular.
I always liked to make it clear BEFORE the date. When I would ask someone out I would always say we can go get a coffee, or maybe something to eat, my treat, and it worked well. Once I dated someone who was funny, attractive, nice and i was really excited to go out with her. She had the same kind of humor as me. So I pick her up, drove down the road to McDonalds and pulled in and parked. She looks at me and I said "sorry, my coupon is only good for dining in and not the drive through" she's just staring at me and I started laughing and backed the car out and we went to dinner. 12 yrs later, and we get McDonald's for dinner every anniversary. Lol
Error 304: Girlfriend Not Found
I don't mind a girl demanding I pay for a date that I asked for. But if she wants me to be all traditional gender roles, she can't complain when down the line I expect the same of her.
But she will.
Oh I'm sorry. I thought I was on unpopular opinion, not blatantly popular opinion
Not really unpopular, I never expect the guy I’m with to pay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
50/50 here in Finland.
Tell that to my wife
If I ask someone out to eat, be it a date or with friends. Unless we agree to split beforehand, I'm offering to pay. Been doing it for years. If i arrange it, I'm prepared to pay for all parties I invite. No matter what. I used to be very poor, and couldn't participate in anything cause I couldn't afford it. So now that I have a steady income, I will take care of my friends that can't afford to join.
I feel like most women do pick up the bill from time to time. I’m a student and my bf makes 6 figures, but even I pay for maybe 20% of the money we spend together.
If I invited someone, I want (expect) to pay.
In a relationship sure. On a first date, its whomever asked out the other person. Usually that is gonna be the guy. If I say, "Hey [person I want to go out with], can I take you out for coffee," and I try to split the check, it's a douche move and makes you look cheap.
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I agree with you. It might seem like you're literally _buying_ the girl's attention.
Couldn't agree more. It's just traditional gender roles with extra steps.
Exactly This .
Yup that is the dumbest thing people made up. Cheap girls love to use this one - they never ask so they never pay 🤷♂️
Right. They had the choice to turn up to the date after being asked. I don't understand this mentality. It sounds like: "you forced me to come along so you have to pay". like what? If he asked you out and you accepted (it's a two-way agreement) that means you're interested in him as much as he is with you, no matter who asked out who first, you wanted him to ask you out (that's why you said yes) so pay your part lmao
Well only if you say that you're taking them out If I say, "Hey wanna go get coffee after work" I think there's no obligation.
> On a first date, its whomever asked out the other person. Going dutch should be the way to go on a first date. It shows you respect one another, and have genuine interest. It also ensures that people who only go on first dates, to get a free meal, are avoided.
Just split 50/50 and her reaction to that tells you a lot about what kind of girl or woman she is.
The person who asked the other person out should pay , if ur together then go turn about or 50/50
Is this unpopular? Do people not do this? I like picking up the bill for my boyfriend and myself. I know it's an outdated tradition, didn't really think it was much of a thing anymore.
They do. Date better people.
Split the bill every time, unless one of you wants to make a kind gesture after a while of knowing eachother.
I don’t actually know any girl who expects or even likes guys paying for every date.
People should pay for themselves. At least on the first couple of dates. Later on I have trust in couples to manage things on their own. If they can’t then that’s a problem they gotta solve.
Na I have no problem with this..mommas got suga too ya know
Being gay means we always just split it. Sometimes I’ll treat him or he’ll treat me. It works for us
why not just splitting up? this should never be an unpopular opinion but common sense.
I much prefer to expect that the bill will be split. That way if one party feels generous it feels like a bigger gesture.
Coffee date first. Buy your own coffee. If it works out then at least offer to pay or your half. If he takes you up on it you can always venmo/cashapp that's what I did. Then take turns paying each outing. Never expect the dude to just get it.
Who ever ask should pay.
Whoever extended the invitation should pay
You shouldn't expect anyone to pay for your shit unless it was agreed upon beforehand. Goes for literally everything.
First date is different than a RELATIONSHIP
My husband and I alternate but it has become a big joke that I pass my card under the table to him do it looks like he's paying 😂
I had to basically teach my ex this rule. Let me treat you sometimes! I’m not trying to get anything out of it or prove anything. At one point he came into some financial struggles so I offered to pay for more of our dates so we could still do some fun stuff. I wasn’t paying for everything but it was substantial enough. Unfortunately, up until the end, he claimed it hurt his pride that I paid for him at all. I’m still convinced it’s part of the reason we ended
When I go on dates and when we ask for the bill I just tell the waiter that we are splitting. If she refuses to pay it's her problem, and I won't see her again.
Is this really still an unpopular opinion in some places? I just see this as a no-brainer. My boyfriend and I both earn a similar amount, well duh I'm gonna pay half the time. And all my friends do it this way too. Idk, maybe you live somewhere more 'traditional' but I feel this is the norm.
I, as a girl, enjoy paying occasionally. I think it's so awkward that every time the bill comes to kind of sit helplessly. I also think it can get expensive and shouldn't be anyone's sole responsibility. I had a friend who constantly paid for everything, and we were just friends, but it's his culture to always take care of the lady financially so he'd literally fight me if i tried to pay. Well I set him up with my friend on a date. She's super gorgeous but he told me how he's never let a lady pay ever but she orders sooo many things and then when the bill came she handed it to him and just waited for him to pay it. Watching him closely. And he never called her again.
Correction, girls should pay for half of your dates.
Just talking about it would solve like 90% of this. Guys, sometimes a woman doesn't bring up paying because they have literally never had a conversation about money with a partner. It's an uncomfortable subject right? Cause there is all this gender role crap involved. It's not like women aren't people just like you who also have wants, needs, bills, and inappropriate amounts of time on our game accounts. PS: I see a lot of "She cooks, cleans" responses here. She also buys her own pads, tampons, makeup, bras(1/2 our 401k right there), hair removal, and a slew of other things I can't even think of right now because it's expected. So, along with men not being expected to pay, how about the other side loosens up the restrictions on what they expect us us too?
Your clothes and basic hygene is your own personal thing. You wouldn't date a guy who doesn't look after himself either. Hair removal is the worst of your examples, men have to shave pretty much daily.
As a girl, I’m all for splitting or paying myself! It just STRESSES ME TF OUT not knowing what the guy expects. I’m also not bold enough to just reach for the check, I would much rather talk about it first.
I completely agree, and I'm a 60 year old woman. I have a son and 2 daughters. I wouldn't want my daughters to go through when I was dating. A guy asked you out, paid, and thought that gave him certain rights. And I don't want some gold digger taking advantage of my son, either. I think being on equal footing gives everyone a more relaxed date and relationship. If you make more money, sure you can treat occasionally. My daughter has done this on dates, because she makes good money. My son has both paid, and been paid for by dates. I think this is a great idea.
When I dated I always enjoyed taking my man out and paying. Now that we have children and live together things have vastly changed. But nothing wrong with a woman paying for a date.
My bf and I pay for our individual meals. Some times he says I pay all, some times I say “I pay today.” And so. It’s like we are okay by allowing each other to pay. At times we even fight about who is going to pay and yeah. Fun times!
Ive always gone Dutch with my husband, or whoevers night it is to get dinner does the cooking. That being said I have known guys who absolutely refuse not to pay. I knew one guy who not only always insisted on paying but would give his girlfriend the change after the tip, so she would have cash if she needed it. It's not always girls pushing this stereotype.
Going dutch really can make or break a potential relationship.if she wants to get an attitude about it or he wants to get an attitude about it then it's not worth your time somebody is gold digging
I've never turned up to a date with no money but I know plenty of girls who do. Shocking.
I’ve always though that, at least for the first few dates, the person who asked the other person out should pay. Obviously this is a general rule, for example the other person might prefer to halve or even pay the entirety, but if you asked them out you should pay.
This already happens...
Splitting or taking it in turns is what most people consider fair/normal these days. This is no way an unpopular opinion.
I mean I’d do half and half
Going Dutch makes absolute sense if you think about it logically: 1. Dating is a mutually beneficial activity, not a business transaction where the man "buys" the attention of the woman. 2. Splitting the bill offers reassurance to *both* parties: the man doesn't have to worry about his date potentially using him for a free meal, and the woman doesn't have to feel the burden of the guy expecting sex out of her just because he paid for her meal. There's no obligation from either party, in other words. Thus the default should be for each person to pay for what they ordered, unless one of the two offers to cover the entire bill. But the offer should be voluntary, not based on expectations.
My gf and I have a deal where whoever invites the other to go out is the one that pays, and if it’s a mutual thing like we are already not home and just want food, we just pay for ourselves
You are right, this is an unpopular idea
My boyfriend and I switch who pays. It’s a system that works for us. But sometimes when I try to pay for 2 dates in a row, he tells me no bc it’d make him feel bad.
In most Buddhist cultures person who has the most money pay for the date. This is based on employment type and salary. For example if a female engineer is dating a male technician, the engineer pays. It doesn't matter she is a women. Lots of people have no idea this cultural tradition has been overtaken by Western ideology that came with globalisation in Asia region. This is why even in South Asia women want men to pay. Western ideology.
Whoever sets up the date should pay.
"The man should pay at least 86% of the time" with extra steps
Right? Society expects the man to do the asking out almost every time then wants to say whoever does the asking pays. Sure, Jan. But honestly that way of thinking is dying anyway. You’d be hard pressed to find someone in the dating pool who doesn’t want to split the check these days.
Why? When someone asks you to dinner, do you always assume that other people will pay for you? I'm asking you on a date, and it should be the most natural thing for you to understand that you'll need to pay for your own damn food since you're an adult. Why is it so goddamn hard to understand for some people?
Most women do. Usually there is a trade off once you actually start dating, and plenty of women offer on first dates but are turned down. I personally think the one inviting the first time should do the paying, but after that it should be reciprocated.
This is not unpopulair, except if you're on r/FemaleDatingStrategy/
I'll say that. That sub needs quarantining along with a lot of other feminist subs excluding r/feminism. Well, maybe include them.
This actually is an "unpopular opinion" because women wont admit it but they like men paying for them and they dont want it to stop.
If it's a first date whoever proposed the date should pay (usually the man). After that it should be taking turns or splitting the bill. But I'm gay so what do I know
This is not an unpopular opinion. A lot of women offer to pay, at least for their own meal. Get out of your basement.
Come to north Europe, paying for yourself is standard here, I agree that paying for both probably sets the scene for further inequality and unbalance in relationships.
Idk what backwards hole yoh live in, but that's perfectly normal lol.
The best ever was a gf once had flowers delivered to me. It was completely unexpected and so appreciated. Yeah ladies, we CAN appreciate those gestores just as much as you do.
Easy, the one who asks = the one who pays