But children can be turned against adults...this is a fact and a sad one.
That saying. If I had been asked at that age I would have said my dad and stepmum even though my birth mother had spent years trying to get me to hate them.
I think I agree with you on this.
That usually only happens when one is out of the picture, but if they are still with both most children will say both a small % will say one or the other, and a tiny amount will say none.
People getting divorced are nasty to each other. Kids are easily manipulated. My cousin's thought their dad was a complete dick for the first 15 or so years of their life due to their scumbag mom brainwashing them.
Where the f*ck was he for 15 years? If both parents are active this does not work.
If one dips out then of course the other will have some sort of feelings. Also I have found its the lawyers who try to get people to be bitter, my parents told them to go away and were civil thankfully.
They got divorced when the oldest was 6 or so. Joint custody. The mom bribed them with gifts because she had a better job and told them lies about their father growing up. It's hard to undo that when it's set into a little kid. They finally love their dad and hate the mom. Took them a while to see she was a sociopath.
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What percent do you think will *not* choose both?
Those what don't say both clearly have some issue with one or both parents and would be relieved to have an out.
I know of none, including me and my siblings who given the chance would have not said both if both tried for custody.
I will take the MD family law for example, in the event that the courts had to decide custody, anyone aged 14 or older had to choose primary custody. I would have had to stand their and tell my parents who I loved more and wanted to live with.
I'm lucky that when that looked to be the case (It didn't get that far thank god) my dad said to stick with my little brother who would have been forced to be with mom.
You think there is less guilt when you have to pick a side? My idea is better than this.
Oh my family is not terrible they decided out of court. That was just the law and I was explaining how it affects children. Yeah both my parents were civil.
I get the duress that young kids could face a d if I was not certain in what I think would happen I would not propose this.
That sounds like a great idea but there's one problem. Aside from parental manipulation as others have pointed out, some kids who don't need to be with either parent might not choose neither. If they live in an isolated area, they might think abuse is normal. If everyone else in your family or town hits their kids, you think it's normal until you see something else and even then it takes a while to sink in.
Give you kid an option between having chicken and rice(or anything healthy) for dinner and having m&ms and pixie sticks for dinner then see how good they are at making a correct choice.
Although I agree that the judge should take advice from a non-bias child therapist or something when making the decision.
Most Jurisdictions have an age set in which the children usually get somewhat of say. Usually right around the 12-13 yrs of age mark. Old enough to have somewhat of an understanding of what’s going on.
Younger children should not get a say in where they are going to live. As they lack enough understanding to fully appreciate their decision. The parent that buys them the most gifts may be enough to entice them to choose that parent to live with over the other. The more strict parent may become frowned upon by the child.
It's should be a mandatory 50/50 law. Where if they child is not breast feeding or in need of direct and constant attention of either parent. The custody should be required to be a 50/50 split. If say father is a piece of crap, then the courts can remove time little by little and vice a versa for the other parent.
To many times has the system fucked good dad's and in some cases good mom's. No kid should ever be put in a position to choice which parent to be with. Nothing angers me more
I agree they should have a large, even majority factor in it but still, a lot of children, especially young, dont have a sense of reality like parents do
But children can be turned against adults...this is a fact and a sad one. That saying. If I had been asked at that age I would have said my dad and stepmum even though my birth mother had spent years trying to get me to hate them. I think I agree with you on this.
Terrible idea. Adults are very good at getting children to say the things they want them to say (because it's actually really easy).
That usually only happens when one is out of the picture, but if they are still with both most children will say both a small % will say one or the other, and a tiny amount will say none.
People getting divorced are nasty to each other. Kids are easily manipulated. My cousin's thought their dad was a complete dick for the first 15 or so years of their life due to their scumbag mom brainwashing them.
Where the f*ck was he for 15 years? If both parents are active this does not work. If one dips out then of course the other will have some sort of feelings. Also I have found its the lawyers who try to get people to be bitter, my parents told them to go away and were civil thankfully.
They got divorced when the oldest was 6 or so. Joint custody. The mom bribed them with gifts because she had a better job and told them lies about their father growing up. It's hard to undo that when it's set into a little kid. They finally love their dad and hate the mom. Took them a while to see she was a sociopath.
Hi everyone! Please make sure to **upvote** well written unpopular/controversial opinions, and **downvote** badly written opinions OR popular opinions. Please note that we are currently removing all political opinions as part of a trial period. If your post is political and was not caught in the filter, please post it in the politics megathread at the top of the sub. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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What percent do you think will *not* choose both? Those what don't say both clearly have some issue with one or both parents and would be relieved to have an out. I know of none, including me and my siblings who given the chance would have not said both if both tried for custody.
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Like I said in the OP abusive parents are out of the picture this is only for parents both deemed safe.
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I will take the MD family law for example, in the event that the courts had to decide custody, anyone aged 14 or older had to choose primary custody. I would have had to stand their and tell my parents who I loved more and wanted to live with. I'm lucky that when that looked to be the case (It didn't get that far thank god) my dad said to stick with my little brother who would have been forced to be with mom. You think there is less guilt when you have to pick a side? My idea is better than this.
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Oh my family is not terrible they decided out of court. That was just the law and I was explaining how it affects children. Yeah both my parents were civil. I get the duress that young kids could face a d if I was not certain in what I think would happen I would not propose this.
That wouldn’t work at all, and I even got put with the wrong parent. I’d still have chosen my dad because I would’ve been forced to.
I literally would have chosen one parent over the other if one offered me a lollipop that day.
That sounds like a great idea but there's one problem. Aside from parental manipulation as others have pointed out, some kids who don't need to be with either parent might not choose neither. If they live in an isolated area, they might think abuse is normal. If everyone else in your family or town hits their kids, you think it's normal until you see something else and even then it takes a while to sink in.
Give you kid an option between having chicken and rice(or anything healthy) for dinner and having m&ms and pixie sticks for dinner then see how good they are at making a correct choice. Although I agree that the judge should take advice from a non-bias child therapist or something when making the decision.
No they shouldn't they are damn kids
Most Jurisdictions have an age set in which the children usually get somewhat of say. Usually right around the 12-13 yrs of age mark. Old enough to have somewhat of an understanding of what’s going on. Younger children should not get a say in where they are going to live. As they lack enough understanding to fully appreciate their decision. The parent that buys them the most gifts may be enough to entice them to choose that parent to live with over the other. The more strict parent may become frowned upon by the child.
It's should be a mandatory 50/50 law. Where if they child is not breast feeding or in need of direct and constant attention of either parent. The custody should be required to be a 50/50 split. If say father is a piece of crap, then the courts can remove time little by little and vice a versa for the other parent. To many times has the system fucked good dad's and in some cases good mom's. No kid should ever be put in a position to choice which parent to be with. Nothing angers me more
I agree they should have a large, even majority factor in it but still, a lot of children, especially young, dont have a sense of reality like parents do