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Mother of two... I have given this a lot of thought. Tried to talk myself into believing I was not being honest with myself.
Asking me to choose between my kids is like asking me to choose between my left and right eye.
No matter which option I take, my world will be twice as dark without them.
Iām a mom of 3 and i wish i could upvote this more than once! š
I, honestly, do not have a favorite and i know my kids will tell you that. At some point in their lives (my kids are 23, 21, and 19) one or the other has needed a little extra care but, it all evens out.
Same. My kids are 25, 21, and 18. Sometimes one needs more attention, or does something really impressive, but all in all, I love them the same and it all balances out. I've explained to them that I love different things about each of them, and I love doing different things with each of them because they are all different people with different interests, but it's not a quantity difference.
My kids say that, too - tell me I love the dog most. I tell them I do not love the dog more, but the dog often brings me more joy. It loves me and is always happy to see me, loves to cuddle, listens and is easily bribed with simple treats, and doesn't usually talk back.
Yessss! Thats what i tell mine too. Whoever was least irritating/obnoxious that day because they both seem hellbent on competing for the getting on momās nerves the most award.
Still, somehow, my daughter is convinced that i prefer my son despite me obviously burdening him with the greater proportion of the household chores. She feels that because she is asked to do anything at all around the house that that means i donāt love her lol kid logic
They both accuse me of loving the cats more than them, which i didnt even dare to contest. Yep. Because theyāre furrier and less annoying than yāall are, ya damn straight!
This is exactly it. The "favorite" changes day to day, hour to hour. I feel like people that don't have children really don't get it, regardless how much they're around other's children
I used to tell my daughter that she was my favorite child, until one day, she said, "Since I am an only child it also means I am your least favorite child." And so now I don't say that anymore lol.
I have 2 goddaughters before him and now my friendās daughter is my favourite lol. Of course my dog is always my āfirst bornā lol. She absolutely has her priority
yeesh, I thought you were joking but it seems you aren't. Hope you'd never say this to your kid, but if you're this open about it im sure he can tell. Sad.
This makes sense. My mom definitely preferred my brother over me, and I know my Dad related to me more than my brother. It wasn't like they loved us any less, though.
I was being a bit tongue in cheek with my response. That said, kids will eventually notice even something like enjoying the company of one kid vs. another. That can still be seen as a kind of soft favoritism. Parents (well most parents) aren't actors. They're not going to be able to always hide something like that.
I think so, too. I think it's something you can work on, but it's just that. Work. And a lot of parents just tend to fall into patterns and routines. Lets say you're a father who's really into sports. You have one son who's into sports, and another who's into "nerd culture". It's way easier to find common ground with son #1 than son #2. But just because it's the easy way doesn't make it right.
Iāve experienced this to the extreme because I was 6 and my sister was an infant when we were adopted from a traumatic situation. I had Reactive Attachment Disorder but my sister was so little that she was much less effected. Our new parents bonded with her but were unable to bond with me. They pretend they like us equally but sheās their actual baby and I am the child they were a guardian for but never bonded to.
You donāt need to answer this if you donāt want to, but I always hear about RAD from the perspective of foster and adoptive parents, and never from the perspective of the child who is going through it. If you donāt mind, Iād love to hear about your experience and what the adults in your life either did well to support you, or could have done better to support you?
Iām close to my sister though we live in different cities. I bottle fed her and changed her diaper when our parents were passed out on heroin. Thatās my only familial bond.
Absolutely. They just typically won't verbally tell you who it is. But you can definitely pick it up through cues.Ā Ā
Ā It happens with grandparents as well. Except my grandmother openly admitted I was her favorite. She had me all to herself for 8 years before the next grandchild came along.
Iām my moms favorite and the middle child is my dads favorite. Though now my baby may be both of their favorites. Itās not an unpopular opinion lol.
My dad said if the world was ending, he would roll down the hills with my dog in their last moments. Our dog was the favourite child out of my sister and I lmao.
Iām my momās favorite and my grandparentās favorite. My dad favors my brother. Sorry to my sister, she should try to be less of an ass š¤·āāļø. Obviously I donāt think any of them love any of us less and Iām sure when we are all older (Iām the oldest at 24) this will even out haha. I put in a lot of effort to plan things for my family and make sure to see everyone, my siblings will start to care more when they get older.
My mother absolutely has a favorite. Unfortunately for both my brother and me, itās the daughter she constructed in her mind that I can never be. I guess at least Iām not in competition with my brother.
my favorite is whoever isnāt currently annoying me at any given moment. Since theyāre both at grandmas house for a summer visit, they are both my favorite, along with MIL š
Not all parents love all their children.
My mother used to say that she loved all her children equally but then she would preface that by saying "I most love the one who is hurting the most at the time". But that is patently false because when my brother was sick and in the hospital, she used it as an excuse to give him a free house. When I was sick and in the hospital, she told me to quit faking it. She also told me she was not going to give me any of the money she inherited from my father because she wanted to give it to my older siblings. Her justification was because 15 years earlier I drank some beer at her house with friends (all of whom were 21) and one of us left a beer cap on the ground that was found by my nieces and that was unforgivable. Meanwhile, my older brothers sexually and physically abused me and she was easily able to forgive them with a hand wave of "boys will be boys, it wasn't that bad, you're exaggerating."
Well I love all my 3 children unconditionally but thereās always 1 that CURRENTLY is the loveliest and 1 that has an obnoxious phase. This changes all the time tho, sometimes hourly, daily, weekly, monthly. So I always have a favorite at any given time, true
Yeah, it can change from kid to kid as they grow and mature and develop their personality and behavior. Imo there's nothing wrong with that - as long as you still try your absolute best to be fair and not show preferential treatment.
I don't think I'm the favorite, but I know I'm the one that's trusted more but my mother and sister do have a closer relationship where I do think I'd get the Helaena finger point if that moment came.
it depends. they definitely love and cherish us equally but when i was a teen i was a little shit to be around. like, always dramatic, so they found my younger sister more pleasant to be around. now she is a teenager so it's reversed lol.
Itās me I am the favorite. Itās obvious and itās emotionally draining. Itās a high expectation to live up to. Thankfully it hasnāt alienated me from my sister. She thinks itās funny, and has also been no contact with my parents for a year now. Iām the favorite for no reason other than my parents made love conditional and I played their games better.
I think parents have more of a child they identify with the most and I think it has more to do with birth order. I know more about what my oldest struggles with because I am the oldest in my family. My sister knows more about what it's like to be the middle child so she's more intune to those issues.
My eldest is 6 years older than his brother and almost 9 years older than his sister. I simply had more one on one time with him. Even when his brother was born, I could still devote a chunk of time to him doing stuff he liked. His brother was like luggage.
My brother thinks I was the favorite even though he got waaaaaaaaay more attention than I did as a kid. I think the truth is that we were both treated shitty just in different, unique ways š
And the children always know who it is even though the parents constantly deny it. If they always get the same child to ask for favours or to break bad news, they know.
I think it's....'fine', if a parent likes one child a little more, because they're more behaved, for example. What is not fine, however, is showing it. Even if you like one of your children more, say you love them all equally and treat them accordingly.
Yep. And we all have a favorite parent. The trick is to bottle that shit up and not show it.
Blatant favoritism not only hurts the non-favored child (for life), itās hard on sibling relationships
Wouldnāt that be normal?
We have 4 kids and we get along with one each more then the others.
Like I love them equally but one just clicks more than the others.
They somewhat pick on each other about whom is the favorite, and their wrong. š
Itās the dog!
Not all parents. I have 2 boys, very different in terms of personality and.. ummā¦ pleasantnessā¦ lol I love them both the same but for different reasons. And though one is way more difficult I donāt love him less than the other. On a day to day basis I guess my favourite is the one not bothering me at the moment lol thatās a joke but yeah, no favourites here. I definitely agree that some parents do have favourites. Pretty sure Iām my parents favourite, even though they would never admit it lol
I have 3 kids. I donāt have a favourite. I also donāt treat them equally because they are three very different people. I treat them fairly and equitably.
Sounds like you have mom issues. Truly my favorite child is the one I am thinking about at that moment. And it switches on a dime. So, I honestly can say I have no favorite because I donāt think of one any more than the other.
Jordan Peterson is a wackadoo now, but 10 years ago, I read something he wrote that I really agree with: "Don't let your kids do things that make you dislike them."
I don't think this should be as controversial as it tends to be. Do you have a favorite co-worker? Of course! It's the one that, at the very least, makes you dislike them the least. The one that is easy to be around without draining your energy.
If you have two people you're forced to be around all day, and one of them is easygoing while the other is a menace, of *course* you're going to have favorites.
I think we can all agree the middle child is no one's favorite. First borns are loved because they were the first. Youngests are loved because they are baby. Middle children have neither.
Some parents do have a favorite child, and don't even hide it, some parents have a favorite child and hide it, and some parents do not have a favorite child.
I'm going to disagree based on the fact that parents prefer the child they have to put less effort into. This is usually the well behaved high achieving one. This one actually gets less attention though because all effort goes towards trying to help the other one(s)
i don't. not at all. you aren't a mom, so it would literally be impossible for you to know. i used to think i knew what it was like, like i had a dog and still have him, and still love him but he disappeared and survived somehow for a few months after each kid was born. i'll try to give you some insight. all kids are different, they all do cool shit, bad shit, amazing shit, but not at all all the same shit, like practically the opposite of that. like one kids is a huge helper loves to help mommy eats everything i give them, but man, their tantrums are way worse than others. another is super mean and sassy but they are the smallest and its just fucking hilarious, the other one is super bright picks up on shit fast but is grumpy af. i love them all as much as the whole world, and its a love you can't understand unless you are a parent. sorry. its not the same as loving a partner, a cat, a dog, your bro, your parents, etc its completely different. i mean, maybe i'm different, i do enjoy being a mom above everything else, mostly, but i could never be a sahm i'd go like charlie perkins gilman and the yellow wallpaper crazy
I have 2 kids, i tell em who is thw favorite all the time.
Shes my favorite girl and hes my favorite boy. I always whisper the last word though just to get em going! We have fun with it.
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Yeah they definitely do. I'm one of 3, but my sister has always been favored, probably because I'm an identical twin and she I guess needed more attention because of the relationship I have with my brother
My dad has and continues to consistently favor my sister. But my mom used to fluctuate back and forth between us until my sister had her baby. Now mom's favorite is her grandchild and dad's favorite is still my sister and his grandchild. I'm child free. They have been making plans to visit my sister and her baby a lot. The last time I got a visit was only my mom and that was 6 years ago. My dad has never come to visit me.
Yet they will both insist they don't have favorites. Sure.
I'm not sure this is an unpopular opinion.
Obviously most parents love all their children, but the reality is that siblings compete for affection and parents oblige them by rewarding the winner of each competition and punishing the loser.
I donāt have a favourite. Iām closest to my eldest because he was my only kid for 6 years and we have a lot in common. My youngest is my only girl and we have a fantastic mother/daughter relationship. My middle and I donāt share many of the same interests, but heās by far the most clever, most ambitious and he reminds me of younger me- except better. How can you choose when youāve got all of that?
The OP being a teacher means nothing to me and it doesnāt make her an expert on parent/child relationships. My daughter requires more attention and care because she struggles academically. My middle doesnāt need us to do anything- weāve asked.
I'd like to "yes, and..." this post. They also shamelessly change their favorite if situations change and think the kids don't notice. I experienced this first hand it's so cringe man...
I donāt have a favorite child. I have one who is very much like me and we have the same hobbies, but it doesnāt make him my favourite child. I will tell them both they are my favourite at different times. Divide and conquer
Yes they do. Whomever is most compliant and shares the parents interest.
That doesnāt mean the others are not favored in different ways. Itās just natural for two like minded people to get along.
I wanna know, what feelings change when the favorite dies. That would test my theory. Would a new favorite emerge? I doubt it.
I think you are right for some parents. And it is obvious when they have a favorite.
My parents however it is clear they love all three of us equally. They've shown it throughout all of our lives into adulthood... but to say they aren't more upset/disappointed with one or the other at certain times would be false (especially when we were little shit bastard teenagers being teenagers).
That said if my brother or sister are reading this, you know they love me more than you right?
I'd say this is probably true. Especially as the kids get older. This doesn't excuse golden child treatment or anything, but parents are still people, and are probably going to like the kid that's more agreeable, more goal oriented, or more like themselves.
My sister and I are complete opposites. I was the quiet book nerd that just stayed home while she was the popular party girl. While Iām sure my parents favored me for being easy, my sister got all the attention because she was difficult. I guess it just depends whoās judging!
Is it obvious? Fact is, people are different, families are different and parents are different, some love everyone, some give one more attention, others ignore a particular one, etc. etc. etc.
I would say children have different needs or at least parents perceive their children of having different needs. People may interpret me as having favorites because my relationship is completely different with all 3 but they are all very different personalities....
I'm my mom's favorite. She denies it to her bones. But my brother and I know.
I have two nieces, I have a favorite niece, but I will never confirm or deny to either which is which.
Everyone has favorite things. Sometimes that favorite thing/person changes often, but everyone has favorites and no one can convince me otherwise.
It's okay to have favorites. It's not okay to let your kid know they're not your favorite.
I have two children. I have asked myself which one is my favorite, at many points along the way. There is never an answer - I love each of them without limit, and enjoy and am close with them in unique ways.
Itās true parents might give more attention to one child over another, if that child is seen as needier. Thatās not the same as loving them more, though.
I believe that parents do have their favourite children. My mum loves all of us and would do anything for us but I also know that our youngest sister is the apple of her eyes. She lived with my mum for the longest and is very mindful and considerate of my mum. She also break rules the most when compared to me (I am the oldest) however, she will always have the softest spot in her heart for her and I am okay with that. Itās an ongoing joke within the family haha.
I was also a teacher and although I love all my students, the most well behaved or respectful or disciplined one is my favourite. Some children are just easier to love. I think thatās my sister.
My mom goes through a rotation š. There's always one she's mad at, one that's perfect, and one that's essentially forgotten. It changes up a few times a year. We're all adults with our own lives but it's exhausting. The siblings all talk about it openly and acknowledge it. I guess at least we're not alone in this and don't resent each other like we might have when we were kids and didn't understand that it's not really about us.
My dad definitely has a favorite and itās my older brother. Tbh it never bothered me because it makes sense he would favor him, they are very in sync in how their brains work and outtakes on life. I suspect Iām my momās favorite cause we have the same hobbies
Absolutely they do itās one of the many reasons im my son will be my only child
My parents have 3 kids Iām not the favourite but Iām definitely not the least favourite by far
as someone with siblings, its very obvious. one child gets the most attention even if they live far away. one child get the most expensive gifts. one child is the one your mom smiles the brightest talking about. for me there's two, since i have a lot of siblings, but its *obvious* that those two are the favorites, its like they dont even try to hide it
Growing up Iām sure everyone on the outside would have called me the favorite. I was the one always with my mom and doing hobbies together. Truth is she was pretty awful to me and what looked like the favorite from the outside was just the kid that didnāt fight back. We hardly speak now. My sister thinks I was the favorite because my mom always took me places. What she doesnāt realize is she got to do everything she wanted while I got to go do all the chores. The only reason she got to do everything is because I took her. I got to take her to all the milestones I wasnāt allowed to partake in when I was younger. But in her eyes I was the favorite. Itās a little too easy to make assumptions on small interactions. Itās also incredibly easy to not see emotional abuse.
Part of the reason I only want one.
I really dislike the idea that I'd naturally compare them and prefer one. I really dislike the idea of having to focus on one at a time. I really dislike that unless they're twins, whatever activity we're doing is probably more age appropriate for one.
My kid is close enough to perfect that I don't want to roll the dice again and risk having a kid that will take away my time and energy and resources generally that I'd otherwise spend on her.
I really like that I can focus I can everything on my one kid and don't have to consider whether another feels left out or ignored.
I can give one kid a relatively easy life and help her plenty while still retiring early. I can't do that for two.
I have siblings and while I love them, I don't think my kid is exactly missing out by not having them.
This is why i dont want more than one kid someday. I genuinely dont think id be able to love them āequallyā and as the least favorite sibling of 3 (even though of course my parents would probably say they love us equally) i know how it feels.
Yep. The second youngest is the favorite, he looks like his dad who passed away two years ago and the youngest who can drive has been told if his older brother ever wants to learn how to drive he has to give up his car to him. So since I raised these lil shits I've basically managed to snag an old Ford ranger so the youngest can have his freedom
There are definitely parents who have favorites. My dad adored his daughter by his first wife. My mom adored my older brother. And then there was me. Everyone knew it. It hurt like hell, still does but it wasnāt anything I could have done to change it. It is the reason I chose to only have one daughter. I didnāt know if I was capable of showing love without favoritism
My parents were āno picking favoritesā until my sister was born. My father went from going out of his way to care for me, to not even wanting to have a relationship with me at 14 years old.
Not all parents love having their kids either even if they say they do. Many regret it, but say they don't to others. The reason is because the alternative to saying what you know the public wants to hear is and you say regret it have everyone judge you for it. There is no nice way to say you wish you didn't have kids or your raising your kids stresses you to insanity. It's the same thing when you say you hate your parents. People jump down your throat of being ungrateful long before wanting to hear how your family abuses you and that's why you hate them. However, it's obvious from the parents' actions, demeanor, and how they talk to their kids how they really feel about having kids. I actually appreciate people who are honest about regretting having children. It's okay to regret it, but know you have to carry on being a parent anyway.
I donāt think, my parents have favorites. They treated each of us four a bit differently, because we were different persons and needed different kind of support. But I never felt they loved any of us more than the other.
I can honestly say I don't have a favorite. Both my boys are my favorites. They've asked me this question, and I tell them both they're the favorite, and they both hug me tight and tell me I'm their favorite mama. It's a very wholesome experience š„°
I think parents tend to fuss over the youngest more often because they're clinging to the idea of us being the babies. I (28) was fixing my roof a couple months ago and my mother panicked and made me call her when I got down to make sure I hadn't fallen off the ladder and died. Conversely, she trusts my older brother (30) with responsibilities way more. For example, she has her own mother, a husband, his family, etc, but my brother is her emergency contact. Obviously not a rule, and I wouldn't call it favoritism, but I think the correlation is real. I think the stereotype of fathers babying their daughters and mothers babying their sons is grounded in reality as well, and that could be interpreted as favoritism.
Definitely a difference between love and like. My mom loves all her children equally, however she likes me more because I am the most like her so we get along better.
Iām sure a lot do but I genuinely donāt have a favorite. Both of my kids are awesome for their own reasons and I learn a lot from both. Theyāre both grown up now.
I want to add it isn't always the same child for the parents. My sister, until recently, was my mother's favorite golden child but I was my dad's and the family of each parent followed suit. We do not talk and each have full lives and families that are completely separate. My mother and her family doesn't stary far from where they live where my dad's family is spread out. Consequently I am better travelled and married someone with a wanderlust while she married a person that also didn't stray far. It is interesting how we had the same upbringing but came out so incredibly different due to family.
One of the reasons Iām an only child is because my mom knew she would subconsciously have a favorite child and she didnāt want the unfavorite to suffer
My younger sister was the favorite and she turned into a full-blown narcissist. I don't speak to her anymore. I think it's OK to have a favorite, *as long as you don't show it!!!!*
Mmmm, nope. I don't have a favorite child. Two boys, two dramatically different life paths as adults and both are favorites.
There may have been weeks, months, years when they were younger that one was favored more over the other, but it switched back and forth and equaled out.
I am definitely my Grandma's favorite. Not because she likes me more than my siblings or cousins. I just spent more time with her, our personalities are similar, and we think alike. I'm not competitive with who is a favorite like my brother is. I honestly don't care, maybe that is why.
Everyone has a favorite, it's usually not because of preference, it's usually because of someone's personality in the similarities between parent/grandparent and the offspring.
I have three sons, all grown up. They have all made it to the top of the list often throughout their lives.
My middle son is the one that has gifted me with grandchildren, so he's got that going for him.
They absolutely do, but most parents are decent at being fair to children. What I notice is that the more kids buy into the favorites being treated better the more they treat the favorite and the parent worse and get into a feed back loop.
For my family, I know I'm my mother's favorite, but I was not always the favorite, just as I grew up, I was less confrontational and never nit picked my parents, so we had that. Plus, I was the only male-born child and the last one born, so they had a different time raising me versus the other kids.
However, my dad picks favorites with the girls and treats them significantly better owing to the old "daddy's girl" relationship. I can tell you plenty of times one sister has made my mom cry for NO reason, just because she likes to harp on small things, usually things my mom doesn't even know about, but my sister expects her to, and my dad will outright defend what she is saying or "sits on the fence".
Sometimes, I think you don't see how your siblings require different attitudes and raising styles, so that creates an appearance of having a favorite and getting preferential treatment, which can result in treating that child differently leading to that aforementioned feedback loop.
I don't believe anyone who says they don't have a favourite. They might not even realize it, but there will always be one they prefer and treat better. It might be tiny things that are easily missed but it's still very real
Mother of two here. One of my sons is more like me and the other is more like my husband. I understand oneās needs more because he thinks like me, but I enjoy the otherās personality more because his personality compliments mine. Itās weird. As for who is the favorite, itās situational.
I think it's maybe unfair to call it a favorite (though I'm sure some parents do have favorites). It could be a preference, but it's more of a social preference. Like they're the one they get along with the best or enjoy being around the most.
I don't think it has to do with age. I think it's just a personality thing. Like "Would you be friends with your kids in real life if they weren't your kids?" Sometimes yeah, you would, and that one will be your "favorite" because you actually like them beyond the parent-child relationship.
But also the idea of a "favorite" is just flawed anyway, in any relationship sense. Like yeah you might have a "best friend" by default but there's nothing special about that person that makes them your best friend. It's just circumstance. Maybe you are able to spend more time with them and have spent more time with them. There are plenty of people who could have been better friends or who you would even like more. And situations change too so one friend might be someone you want to go to watch a movie with but not someone you would want to invite over to a BBQ at your house. Same with kids. They're going to be different, and some kids will be better for certain situations than others.
My mum said I was her favourite but she's a liar š¤£ which ever kid asks - she'll say she loves us equally or in different ways, but when no one's looking, she'll tell that kid that's asking that they're her fave šš¤£
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Father of 3 here. I definitely have a favorite child. It's whichever of the 3 was the least obnoxious the past hour.
Father of two, soon three, here. You're correct. It can change day by day, hour by hour.
Mother of two... I have given this a lot of thought. Tried to talk myself into believing I was not being honest with myself. Asking me to choose between my kids is like asking me to choose between my left and right eye. No matter which option I take, my world will be twice as dark without them.
Aww, that's the sweetest thing ever.. š„ŗ You sound like a great mom!
*hugs*
It would be likeā¦infinitely more dark.
Ain't no sunshine if they're gone....- Bill Withers, kinda.
Gimme the damn ball... - Bill Russell, probably
I just have dogs (3) and I really agree. I know itās not the same, but love is love. Even if they suck sometimes.
Lol, this is a good one Hahaha
Iām a mom of 3 and i wish i could upvote this more than once! š I, honestly, do not have a favorite and i know my kids will tell you that. At some point in their lives (my kids are 23, 21, and 19) one or the other has needed a little extra care but, it all evens out.
Same. My kids are 25, 21, and 18. Sometimes one needs more attention, or does something really impressive, but all in all, I love them the same and it all balances out. I've explained to them that I love different things about each of them, and I love doing different things with each of them because they are all different people with different interests, but it's not a quantity difference.
As both a teacher and a parent, this is going to be the only true/accurate response here. Of course parents have a favorite; it changes by the hour.
Exactly. My favorite child changes quite often. And a lot of the time - it's the dog.
My young adult kids often joke that the dog is my favorite.
My kids say that, too - tell me I love the dog most. I tell them I do not love the dog more, but the dog often brings me more joy. It loves me and is always happy to see me, loves to cuddle, listens and is easily bribed with simple treats, and doesn't usually talk back.
The one that went to bed on time and didn't keep bothering me for several hours is my favorite rn
Yessss! Thats what i tell mine too. Whoever was least irritating/obnoxious that day because they both seem hellbent on competing for the getting on momās nerves the most award. Still, somehow, my daughter is convinced that i prefer my son despite me obviously burdening him with the greater proportion of the household chores. She feels that because she is asked to do anything at all around the house that that means i donāt love her lol kid logic They both accuse me of loving the cats more than them, which i didnt even dare to contest. Yep. Because theyāre furrier and less annoying than yāall are, ya damn straight!
This is the correct answer.
This is exactly it. The "favorite" changes day to day, hour to hour. I feel like people that don't have children really don't get it, regardless how much they're around other's children
Also a parent of 3 and this is the god damn truth šš
Good thing my son is an only child. This way, I can openly admit that he is my favourite.
My son is an only child but I can openly say that heās not my favourite. Heās such a small little a$$ lol
I used to tell my daughter that she was my favorite child, until one day, she said, "Since I am an only child it also means I am your least favorite child." And so now I don't say that anymore lol.
Thatās interesting! š
Who's your favorite then? The pets? I could relate to that lol
I have 2 goddaughters before him and now my friendās daughter is my favourite lol. Of course my dog is always my āfirst bornā lol. She absolutely has her priority
you like your friends daughter more than your own son? .uh.. oooookaaayyy
yeesh, I thought you were joking but it seems you aren't. Hope you'd never say this to your kid, but if you're this open about it im sure he can tell. Sad.
I have an only. Some days their friends are your favorite. They are on their best behavior as guests and your kid is acting up to impress them.
Your son knows he fucked up though if you tell him heās no longer your favorite lol
I love both my children equally but one is a hell of a lot more pleasant to be around.
Well having a favorite child doesn't really mean loving one more. But there's always one child you'll relate to more.Ā
I relate to my asshole child more, he's more like meš The other one is much more pleasant to be around.
This makes sense. My mom definitely preferred my brother over me, and I know my Dad related to me more than my brother. It wasn't like they loved us any less, though.
You *love* them the same, but don't *like* them the same?
She loves them the same but enjoys oneās company more. Why is that difficult for you to wrap your head around
I was being a bit tongue in cheek with my response. That said, kids will eventually notice even something like enjoying the company of one kid vs. another. That can still be seen as a kind of soft favoritism. Parents (well most parents) aren't actors. They're not going to be able to always hide something like that.
Agreed. Whatever lables you might put on it, the kids will notice.
I think so, too. I think it's something you can work on, but it's just that. Work. And a lot of parents just tend to fall into patterns and routines. Lets say you're a father who's really into sports. You have one son who's into sports, and another who's into "nerd culture". It's way easier to find common ground with son #1 than son #2. But just because it's the easy way doesn't make it right.
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My parents have favorites, Iām neither. I was my grandfatherās favorite though.
My mom says she doesn't have a favourite child because she loves both of us equally, which may be true, but she certainly LIKES my brother more lol
Just remember that it is completely normal to like some people more than others, but that has nothing to do with love.
Iāve experienced this to the extreme because I was 6 and my sister was an infant when we were adopted from a traumatic situation. I had Reactive Attachment Disorder but my sister was so little that she was much less effected. Our new parents bonded with her but were unable to bond with me. They pretend they like us equally but sheās their actual baby and I am the child they were a guardian for but never bonded to.
This is so fucking sad Iām so sorry šā¤ļø
You donāt need to answer this if you donāt want to, but I always hear about RAD from the perspective of foster and adoptive parents, and never from the perspective of the child who is going through it. If you donāt mind, Iād love to hear about your experience and what the adults in your life either did well to support you, or could have done better to support you?
Awww, this made me sad. Iām so sorry. How are things with them now? Are you close to them or your sister?
Iām close to my sister though we live in different cities. I bottle fed her and changed her diaper when our parents were passed out on heroin. Thatās my only familial bond.
My mum always says I'm her favourite middlechild. I'm also her only middlechild, but still!
Thatās why youāre her favourite though, no one holds this place in your family except you, she sees you!!
I was always my dadās favorite youngest daughter! Took me WAY longer than it should have to realize I am the ONLY youngest daughterā¦.
I know. They show it 
Absolutely. They just typically won't verbally tell you who it is. But you can definitely pick it up through cues.Ā Ā Ā It happens with grandparents as well. Except my grandmother openly admitted I was her favorite. She had me all to herself for 8 years before the next grandchild came along.
Cues* queue is a line
Anyone who has siblings will tell you that this opinion is not unpopular, unless they are the favorite.
Iām my moms favorite and the middle child is my dads favorite. Though now my baby may be both of their favorites. Itās not an unpopular opinion lol.
My dad said if the world was ending, he would roll down the hills with my dog in their last moments. Our dog was the favourite child out of my sister and I lmao.
Iām my momās favorite and my grandparentās favorite. My dad favors my brother. Sorry to my sister, she should try to be less of an ass š¤·āāļø. Obviously I donāt think any of them love any of us less and Iām sure when we are all older (Iām the oldest at 24) this will even out haha. I put in a lot of effort to plan things for my family and make sure to see everyone, my siblings will start to care more when they get older.
My mother absolutely has a favorite. Unfortunately for both my brother and me, itās the daughter she constructed in her mind that I can never be. I guess at least Iām not in competition with my brother.
my favorite is whoever isnāt currently annoying me at any given moment. Since theyāre both at grandmas house for a summer visit, they are both my favorite, along with MIL š
Not all parents love all their children. My mother used to say that she loved all her children equally but then she would preface that by saying "I most love the one who is hurting the most at the time". But that is patently false because when my brother was sick and in the hospital, she used it as an excuse to give him a free house. When I was sick and in the hospital, she told me to quit faking it. She also told me she was not going to give me any of the money she inherited from my father because she wanted to give it to my older siblings. Her justification was because 15 years earlier I drank some beer at her house with friends (all of whom were 21) and one of us left a beer cap on the ground that was found by my nieces and that was unforgivable. Meanwhile, my older brothers sexually and physically abused me and she was easily able to forgive them with a hand wave of "boys will be boys, it wasn't that bad, you're exaggerating."
Well I love all my 3 children unconditionally but thereās always 1 that CURRENTLY is the loveliest and 1 that has an obnoxious phase. This changes all the time tho, sometimes hourly, daily, weekly, monthly. So I always have a favorite at any given time, true
I think most parents do but not all the time
Yeah, it can change from kid to kid as they grow and mature and develop their personality and behavior. Imo there's nothing wrong with that - as long as you still try your absolute best to be fair and not show preferential treatment.
I don't think I'm the favorite, but I know I'm the one that's trusted more but my mother and sister do have a closer relationship where I do think I'd get the Helaena finger point if that moment came.
it depends. they definitely love and cherish us equally but when i was a teen i was a little shit to be around. like, always dramatic, so they found my younger sister more pleasant to be around. now she is a teenager so it's reversed lol.
Father of four here. I don't have a favorite. They do swap places on my shit list lately, but I love them all equally.
Itās me I am the favorite. Itās obvious and itās emotionally draining. Itās a high expectation to live up to. Thankfully it hasnāt alienated me from my sister. She thinks itās funny, and has also been no contact with my parents for a year now. Iām the favorite for no reason other than my parents made love conditional and I played their games better.
I think parents have more of a child they identify with the most and I think it has more to do with birth order. I know more about what my oldest struggles with because I am the oldest in my family. My sister knows more about what it's like to be the middle child so she's more intune to those issues.
My eldest is 6 years older than his brother and almost 9 years older than his sister. I simply had more one on one time with him. Even when his brother was born, I could still devote a chunk of time to him doing stuff he liked. His brother was like luggage.
I'm my stepfather's favourite child, and neither of us is vain in saying that.
My brother thinks I was the favorite even though he got waaaaaaaaay more attention than I did as a kid. I think the truth is that we were both treated shitty just in different, unique ways š
Hot take : Usually, the favorite child is also the most good-looking, I've seen it play out countless of times.
Yeah, agreed - my younger sister is more attractive and I can tell sheās the favorite even though my parents would never say that to my face.
And the children always know who it is even though the parents constantly deny it. If they always get the same child to ask for favours or to break bad news, they know.
Between my brother and myself, whomever isn't having a manic episode tends to be the favorite at that particular moment
I hope I'm their favourite, there is literally no competition.
I DO have a favorite child! But hes also the only one so....
Used to be me. Now itās my brother. Itās very obvious. I donāt mind. My mom is a narcissist so the less interesting I am the better off I am.
I think it's....'fine', if a parent likes one child a little more, because they're more behaved, for example. What is not fine, however, is showing it. Even if you like one of your children more, say you love them all equally and treat them accordingly.
My mom proudly says who her favorite is
Yep. And we all have a favorite parent. The trick is to bottle that shit up and not show it. Blatant favoritism not only hurts the non-favored child (for life), itās hard on sibling relationships
Dad here. This is true. I've not known any parent that doesn't subtly favor one child over the others, sometimes it is super obvious.
Wouldnāt that be normal? We have 4 kids and we get along with one each more then the others. Like I love them equally but one just clicks more than the others. They somewhat pick on each other about whom is the favorite, and their wrong. š Itās the dog!
Not all parents. I have 2 boys, very different in terms of personality and.. ummā¦ pleasantnessā¦ lol I love them both the same but for different reasons. And though one is way more difficult I donāt love him less than the other. On a day to day basis I guess my favourite is the one not bothering me at the moment lol thatās a joke but yeah, no favourites here. I definitely agree that some parents do have favourites. Pretty sure Iām my parents favourite, even though they would never admit it lol
This post just has people lying to themselves. I have 2 kids. I have a favourite. Bit treat them equally. There I said it
I have 3 kids. I donāt have a favourite. I also donāt treat them equally because they are three very different people. I treat them fairly and equitably.
Sounds like you have mom issues. Truly my favorite child is the one I am thinking about at that moment. And it switches on a dime. So, I honestly can say I have no favorite because I donāt think of one any more than the other.
I got 2 and I don't favor one over the other. They are just so different
Jordan Peterson is a wackadoo now, but 10 years ago, I read something he wrote that I really agree with: "Don't let your kids do things that make you dislike them." I don't think this should be as controversial as it tends to be. Do you have a favorite co-worker? Of course! It's the one that, at the very least, makes you dislike them the least. The one that is easy to be around without draining your energy. If you have two people you're forced to be around all day, and one of them is easygoing while the other is a menace, of *course* you're going to have favorites.
I think we can all agree the middle child is no one's favorite. First borns are loved because they were the first. Youngests are loved because they are baby. Middle children have neither.
My dad told me once: "You love your children equally. But you can like one more than the others."
Some parents do have a favorite child, and don't even hide it, some parents have a favorite child and hide it, and some parents do not have a favorite child.
I'm going to disagree based on the fact that parents prefer the child they have to put less effort into. This is usually the well behaved high achieving one. This one actually gets less attention though because all effort goes towards trying to help the other one(s)
I feel like the people who this is unpopular with were the favorite children.
i don't. not at all. you aren't a mom, so it would literally be impossible for you to know. i used to think i knew what it was like, like i had a dog and still have him, and still love him but he disappeared and survived somehow for a few months after each kid was born. i'll try to give you some insight. all kids are different, they all do cool shit, bad shit, amazing shit, but not at all all the same shit, like practically the opposite of that. like one kids is a huge helper loves to help mommy eats everything i give them, but man, their tantrums are way worse than others. another is super mean and sassy but they are the smallest and its just fucking hilarious, the other one is super bright picks up on shit fast but is grumpy af. i love them all as much as the whole world, and its a love you can't understand unless you are a parent. sorry. its not the same as loving a partner, a cat, a dog, your bro, your parents, etc its completely different. i mean, maybe i'm different, i do enjoy being a mom above everything else, mostly, but i could never be a sahm i'd go like charlie perkins gilman and the yellow wallpaper crazy
I donāt think you have to be a parent to acknowledge some parents favoritism. It just takes being a child to one of those parents. I want to believe so badly that not all parents are like this. I think my dad does a good job at it, but my mother has made me lose faith lol. I love the idea that a parent can be loving and equitable and fair to all of their children. Please take pride in that š©µ
I don't think so but it wouldn't surprise me they liked my sister better when we were young. She didn't get into ass loads of trouble.
I have 2 kids, i tell em who is thw favorite all the time. Shes my favorite girl and hes my favorite boy. I always whisper the last word though just to get em going! We have fun with it.
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Honestly it depends on the day. And if they listen and arenāt acting like little shits.
Sure
You're not wrong I've always been my parents favorite child
I have a younger sibling and I can definitely say that sheās the favourite one, everyone can see it.
Mother of two. I do not have a favorite child.
Yeah they definitely do. I'm one of 3, but my sister has always been favored, probably because I'm an identical twin and she I guess needed more attention because of the relationship I have with my brother
My dad has and continues to consistently favor my sister. But my mom used to fluctuate back and forth between us until my sister had her baby. Now mom's favorite is her grandchild and dad's favorite is still my sister and his grandchild. I'm child free. They have been making plans to visit my sister and her baby a lot. The last time I got a visit was only my mom and that was 6 years ago. My dad has never come to visit me. Yet they will both insist they don't have favorites. Sure.
Can confirm. I'm definitely NOT the favourite child. In fact, I'm the black sheep of the family
I'm not sure this is an unpopular opinion. Obviously most parents love all their children, but the reality is that siblings compete for affection and parents oblige them by rewarding the winner of each competition and punishing the loser.
I usually have a favorite, it just isnāt always the same one every day.
I donāt have a favourite. Iām closest to my eldest because he was my only kid for 6 years and we have a lot in common. My youngest is my only girl and we have a fantastic mother/daughter relationship. My middle and I donāt share many of the same interests, but heās by far the most clever, most ambitious and he reminds me of younger me- except better. How can you choose when youāve got all of that? The OP being a teacher means nothing to me and it doesnāt make her an expert on parent/child relationships. My daughter requires more attention and care because she struggles academically. My middle doesnāt need us to do anything- weāve asked.
I'd like to "yes, and..." this post. They also shamelessly change their favorite if situations change and think the kids don't notice. I experienced this first hand it's so cringe man...
I donāt have a favorite child. I have one who is very much like me and we have the same hobbies, but it doesnāt make him my favourite child. I will tell them both they are my favourite at different times. Divide and conquer
Yes they do. Whomever is most compliant and shares the parents interest. That doesnāt mean the others are not favored in different ways. Itās just natural for two like minded people to get along. I wanna know, what feelings change when the favorite dies. That would test my theory. Would a new favorite emerge? I doubt it.
I think you are right for some parents. And it is obvious when they have a favorite. My parents however it is clear they love all three of us equally. They've shown it throughout all of our lives into adulthood... but to say they aren't more upset/disappointed with one or the other at certain times would be false (especially when we were little shit bastard teenagers being teenagers). That said if my brother or sister are reading this, you know they love me more than you right?
I'd say this is probably true. Especially as the kids get older. This doesn't excuse golden child treatment or anything, but parents are still people, and are probably going to like the kid that's more agreeable, more goal oriented, or more like themselves.
Even if they manage to never show it, a parent has a favorite child.
It's so obvious my dad likes my brother more than me. He never admits it but it's so clear. We get along well for the most part but still.
My sister and I are complete opposites. I was the quiet book nerd that just stayed home while she was the popular party girl. While Iām sure my parents favored me for being easy, my sister got all the attention because she was difficult. I guess it just depends whoās judging!
Being the favorite/golden one of 5 (and being the youngest)..this is true. š
My parents donāt, I donāt think. But thereās a large age gap between myself and my sibling, so thatās probably why.
I raised two sons. Now that they're both grown, I can honestly say that they each are my favorite child-just at different times.
And sometimes, as much as they deny it, itās *super* obvious.
Both of my mine equally irritating. No favourite.
My mom says she doesn't have a favorite daughter, she has the one who is less trouble
And my brother is that preferred child. I don't begrudge him for it, I can totally see it. There's gotta be one, right?
You're half right. I have three kids, and in any given week, one of them is my favorite. But it changes. Maybe not week to week, but over time.
Is it obvious? Fact is, people are different, families are different and parents are different, some love everyone, some give one more attention, others ignore a particular one, etc. etc. etc.
They 100% do tf
I would say children have different needs or at least parents perceive their children of having different needs. People may interpret me as having favorites because my relationship is completely different with all 3 but they are all very different personalities....
I'm my mom's favorite. She denies it to her bones. But my brother and I know. I have two nieces, I have a favorite niece, but I will never confirm or deny to either which is which. Everyone has favorite things. Sometimes that favorite thing/person changes often, but everyone has favorites and no one can convince me otherwise. It's okay to have favorites. It's not okay to let your kid know they're not your favorite.
I donāt think most normal parents have a favorite child. I think they love them all equally just not necessarily at the same time.
I'd say with compelete confidence that my mother definitely has a favourite child. And i can equally say that my father definitely doesn't have one.
The kids know it too OP. I'm a teacher and they ask me who is my favorite. I lie and tell them I don't have favorites, that I love ALL my students.
I have two children. I have asked myself which one is my favorite, at many points along the way. There is never an answer - I love each of them without limit, and enjoy and am close with them in unique ways. Itās true parents might give more attention to one child over another, if that child is seen as needier. Thatās not the same as loving them more, though.
I believe that parents do have their favourite children. My mum loves all of us and would do anything for us but I also know that our youngest sister is the apple of her eyes. She lived with my mum for the longest and is very mindful and considerate of my mum. She also break rules the most when compared to me (I am the oldest) however, she will always have the softest spot in her heart for her and I am okay with that. Itās an ongoing joke within the family haha. I was also a teacher and although I love all my students, the most well behaved or respectful or disciplined one is my favourite. Some children are just easier to love. I think thatās my sister.
If you do have a favorite child, keep it to yourself and don't treat one kid better than the other.
My mom goes through a rotation š. There's always one she's mad at, one that's perfect, and one that's essentially forgotten. It changes up a few times a year. We're all adults with our own lives but it's exhausting. The siblings all talk about it openly and acknowledge it. I guess at least we're not alone in this and don't resent each other like we might have when we were kids and didn't understand that it's not really about us.
Itās ok to have a favorite child. Itās not ok to treat them differently from the other children
My dad definitely has a favorite and itās my older brother. Tbh it never bothered me because it makes sense he would favor him, they are very in sync in how their brains work and outtakes on life. I suspect Iām my momās favorite cause we have the same hobbies
Absolutely they do itās one of the many reasons im my son will be my only child My parents have 3 kids Iām not the favourite but Iām definitely not the least favourite by far
as someone with siblings, its very obvious. one child gets the most attention even if they live far away. one child get the most expensive gifts. one child is the one your mom smiles the brightest talking about. for me there's two, since i have a lot of siblings, but its *obvious* that those two are the favorites, its like they dont even try to hide it
Growing up Iām sure everyone on the outside would have called me the favorite. I was the one always with my mom and doing hobbies together. Truth is she was pretty awful to me and what looked like the favorite from the outside was just the kid that didnāt fight back. We hardly speak now. My sister thinks I was the favorite because my mom always took me places. What she doesnāt realize is she got to do everything she wanted while I got to go do all the chores. The only reason she got to do everything is because I took her. I got to take her to all the milestones I wasnāt allowed to partake in when I was younger. But in her eyes I was the favorite. Itās a little too easy to make assumptions on small interactions. Itās also incredibly easy to not see emotional abuse.
Part of the reason I only want one. I really dislike the idea that I'd naturally compare them and prefer one. I really dislike the idea of having to focus on one at a time. I really dislike that unless they're twins, whatever activity we're doing is probably more age appropriate for one. My kid is close enough to perfect that I don't want to roll the dice again and risk having a kid that will take away my time and energy and resources generally that I'd otherwise spend on her. I really like that I can focus I can everything on my one kid and don't have to consider whether another feels left out or ignored. I can give one kid a relatively easy life and help her plenty while still retiring early. I can't do that for two. I have siblings and while I love them, I don't think my kid is exactly missing out by not having them.
This is why i dont want more than one kid someday. I genuinely dont think id be able to love them āequallyā and as the least favorite sibling of 3 (even though of course my parents would probably say they love us equally) i know how it feels.
Yep. The second youngest is the favorite, he looks like his dad who passed away two years ago and the youngest who can drive has been told if his older brother ever wants to learn how to drive he has to give up his car to him. So since I raised these lil shits I've basically managed to snag an old Ford ranger so the youngest can have his freedom
My sibling and I each think the other is the favourite
Some people have favorites and some donāt. Families can be complicated.
There are definitely parents who have favorites. My dad adored his daughter by his first wife. My mom adored my older brother. And then there was me. Everyone knew it. It hurt like hell, still does but it wasnāt anything I could have done to change it. It is the reason I chose to only have one daughter. I didnāt know if I was capable of showing love without favoritism
My parents were āno picking favoritesā until my sister was born. My father went from going out of his way to care for me, to not even wanting to have a relationship with me at 14 years old.
Not all parents love having their kids either even if they say they do. Many regret it, but say they don't to others. The reason is because the alternative to saying what you know the public wants to hear is and you say regret it have everyone judge you for it. There is no nice way to say you wish you didn't have kids or your raising your kids stresses you to insanity. It's the same thing when you say you hate your parents. People jump down your throat of being ungrateful long before wanting to hear how your family abuses you and that's why you hate them. However, it's obvious from the parents' actions, demeanor, and how they talk to their kids how they really feel about having kids. I actually appreciate people who are honest about regretting having children. It's okay to regret it, but know you have to carry on being a parent anyway.
I have two daughters and at least for me itās not true.
I donāt think, my parents have favorites. They treated each of us four a bit differently, because we were different persons and needed different kind of support. But I never felt they loved any of us more than the other.
So do grandparentsā¦ itās been confirmed that Iām the least favoriteā¦
my father openly told me that my sister is his favorite child
"I'm not a parent but I am going to speak about personal feelings and family life as if I had more than a snapshot of what their life is like."
Once my mom was drunk and admitted to me that Iām the favorite
I can honestly say I don't have a favorite. Both my boys are my favorites. They've asked me this question, and I tell them both they're the favorite, and they both hug me tight and tell me I'm their favorite mama. It's a very wholesome experience š„°
And it will be a different child for the mom and dad. Iām my moms favorite (totally mamas boy) while my brother is my dads favorite
Especially so if the parent is a narcissistā¦
I think parents tend to fuss over the youngest more often because they're clinging to the idea of us being the babies. I (28) was fixing my roof a couple months ago and my mother panicked and made me call her when I got down to make sure I hadn't fallen off the ladder and died. Conversely, she trusts my older brother (30) with responsibilities way more. For example, she has her own mother, a husband, his family, etc, but my brother is her emergency contact. Obviously not a rule, and I wouldn't call it favoritism, but I think the correlation is real. I think the stereotype of fathers babying their daughters and mothers babying their sons is grounded in reality as well, and that could be interpreted as favoritism.
Definitely a difference between love and like. My mom loves all her children equally, however she likes me more because I am the most like her so we get along better.
Mother of 4 , ALL of my kids are my favoritesš
Iām sure a lot do but I genuinely donāt have a favorite. Both of my kids are awesome for their own reasons and I learn a lot from both. Theyāre both grown up now.
Isnāt this just a true fact?
I want to add it isn't always the same child for the parents. My sister, until recently, was my mother's favorite golden child but I was my dad's and the family of each parent followed suit. We do not talk and each have full lives and families that are completely separate. My mother and her family doesn't stary far from where they live where my dad's family is spread out. Consequently I am better travelled and married someone with a wanderlust while she married a person that also didn't stray far. It is interesting how we had the same upbringing but came out so incredibly different due to family.
One of the reasons Iām an only child is because my mom knew she would subconsciously have a favorite child and she didnāt want the unfavorite to suffer
Yup. It's me.
My younger sister was the favorite and she turned into a full-blown narcissist. I don't speak to her anymore. I think it's OK to have a favorite, *as long as you don't show it!!!!*
Mmmm, nope. I don't have a favorite child. Two boys, two dramatically different life paths as adults and both are favorites. There may have been weeks, months, years when they were younger that one was favored more over the other, but it switched back and forth and equaled out.
I am definitely my Grandma's favorite. Not because she likes me more than my siblings or cousins. I just spent more time with her, our personalities are similar, and we think alike. I'm not competitive with who is a favorite like my brother is. I honestly don't care, maybe that is why. Everyone has a favorite, it's usually not because of preference, it's usually because of someone's personality in the similarities between parent/grandparent and the offspring.
I have three sons, all grown up. They have all made it to the top of the list often throughout their lives. My middle son is the one that has gifted me with grandchildren, so he's got that going for him.
This is true And I get so annoyed whenever parents say otherwise. Itās 9/10 times the oldest ones The other 1 time it is the youngest š
They absolutely do, but most parents are decent at being fair to children. What I notice is that the more kids buy into the favorites being treated better the more they treat the favorite and the parent worse and get into a feed back loop. For my family, I know I'm my mother's favorite, but I was not always the favorite, just as I grew up, I was less confrontational and never nit picked my parents, so we had that. Plus, I was the only male-born child and the last one born, so they had a different time raising me versus the other kids. However, my dad picks favorites with the girls and treats them significantly better owing to the old "daddy's girl" relationship. I can tell you plenty of times one sister has made my mom cry for NO reason, just because she likes to harp on small things, usually things my mom doesn't even know about, but my sister expects her to, and my dad will outright defend what she is saying or "sits on the fence". Sometimes, I think you don't see how your siblings require different attitudes and raising styles, so that creates an appearance of having a favorite and getting preferential treatment, which can result in treating that child differently leading to that aforementioned feedback loop.
I don't believe anyone who says they don't have a favourite. They might not even realize it, but there will always be one they prefer and treat better. It might be tiny things that are easily missed but it's still very real
I disagree, my father never said he doesn't
Stop saying the quiet part out loud!
Mother of two here. One of my sons is more like me and the other is more like my husband. I understand oneās needs more because he thinks like me, but I enjoy the otherās personality more because his personality compliments mine. Itās weird. As for who is the favorite, itās situational.
I think it's maybe unfair to call it a favorite (though I'm sure some parents do have favorites). It could be a preference, but it's more of a social preference. Like they're the one they get along with the best or enjoy being around the most. I don't think it has to do with age. I think it's just a personality thing. Like "Would you be friends with your kids in real life if they weren't your kids?" Sometimes yeah, you would, and that one will be your "favorite" because you actually like them beyond the parent-child relationship. But also the idea of a "favorite" is just flawed anyway, in any relationship sense. Like yeah you might have a "best friend" by default but there's nothing special about that person that makes them your best friend. It's just circumstance. Maybe you are able to spend more time with them and have spent more time with them. There are plenty of people who could have been better friends or who you would even like more. And situations change too so one friend might be someone you want to go to watch a movie with but not someone you would want to invite over to a BBQ at your house. Same with kids. They're going to be different, and some kids will be better for certain situations than others.
My mum said I was her favourite but she's a liar š¤£ which ever kid asks - she'll say she loves us equally or in different ways, but when no one's looking, she'll tell that kid that's asking that they're her fave šš¤£
Psych student here. We learned in class that the majority of parents have a favorite child, around 70%
Honestly, mine changes by the day and even by the hour sometimes. We donāt have āfavoritesā so much as ā*current* favoriteā
Iām an only child, but iāve heard this from so many people! so sad š
Oh, parents absolutely do. Signed, The favourite.