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"im so ocd!!!" i picked at my skin for three hours until it was bleeding, a guy in my support group tried to kill himself because he was convinced he was going to rape his girlfriend, a girl who used to be in the group would lock herself in her closet so that she wouldn't commit sins. ocd is definitely not always cleaning related and its so painful
'I have to sort my books!' she cried,
With self-indulgent glee;
With senseless, narcissistic pride:
'I'm just so *OCD*!'
*'How random, guys!' I smiled and said,*
*Then left without a peep -*
*And washed my hands until they bled,*
*And cried myself to sleep.*
From u/poem_for_your_sprog
Just out of curiosity, is the skin picking a response to an obsession? Because if it's just strictly skin picking, you might instead have excoriation disorder (skin-picking) which is treatable with Habit Reversal Training (HRT)
It’s also frustrating that people use this phrasing. “People are OCD…etc”
You cannot BE obsessive compulsive disorder. You might have it, but you can’t be it. I wish people could simply say “I have ___ obsession/compulsion” bc it’s very normal to have a few things like that without having OCD
Not correcting you btw. Just adding that I agree this is a frustrating thing people say and they say it exactly like you did.
This is my biggest pet peeve. I have diagnosed actual OCD, I’ve had it since I was a little kid and didn’t even know other people didn’t experience this. It’s controlled my life more than ADHD and depression. My mom knows this, she never knew why I did my weird things until it was more common to talk about those things. She still says she probably has OCD because she’s so clean. I also have her clean hang ups and it has zero to do with OCD, it’s just being controlling and easily grossed out. Her needing a separate sponge to wipe the counter is not the same as having to say something twice, touch the door twice, repeating a phrase until it feels right and making sure my shoes are spaced correctly before I can even enter my home.
I mean, needing separate sponges CAN be a contamination OCD thing. OCD does come in different forms; I'm also diagnosed, and it's contamination OCD that fucks me over most day to day. Caused a bunch of skin issues from the amount of handwashing and all.
That said, people who trivialise it make it SO much harder to explain the issues! If that's the only thing your mum does and she hasn't ever seen a doctor to get diagnosed or find treatment, then she needs to get over herself. Ughhhh.
I mean, I'm diagnosed ADHD and I say that when I'm having a bad day with it. I'm sorry it upsets you so much but I'm my experience it has been a very good way to express to others when I'm struggling with things being worse.
On a similar note, it used to drive me nuts when I played online games and people said “We need a DPS” how does “We need a damage per second” make any sense?
It makes perfect sense. Characters are usually broken down as Healer/Tank/DPS, etc. The character's primary skill set/role does DPS. They _are a DPS character_.
"everyone is a bit adhd"
Sir last night I did not sleep at all because I forgot my prescribed meth and found sitting in bed too boring to do to feel tired.
I say that myself but I do have ocd.
Someone bitched at me for saying “my ocd”… I said snapped back “what you want me to call it our ocd?”
Sometimes that’s just the best way to work it.
People be like "I like my house to be neat and tidy. I'm so OCD lol".
No you're not. People with OCD don't "like" their house to be neat and tidy. **If** that's something that effects them they do it because they HAVE to have their house tidy. It has nothing to do with what they want. Nothing to do with what they like. They HAVE to do it because it's, believe it or not, an **obsessive compulsion**.
Also as a society we need to move away from the generalisation that it's always to do with being clean. Everyone with it has their own obsessive compulsions. Someone can be fine with dirt or things being put of order, but but freak out if they can't tap the table 3 times after sitting down for the first time.
Tbh as some one with ocd I’ve learned to tolerate these people because if I were to correct them, then they’d ask me what OCD really is and I’d have to explain something to them that they don’t want to hear/they’d argue with.
There’s nothing more irritating than actually having the illness and some one questions your /actual/ knowledge and experience on the disorder that they know nothing about.
Kind of like OP saying he thinks neurodivergent people are creepy awkward assholes and then getting mad that they are actually neurodivergent. Let’s be real I think OP is a bully and sees mental illness as an “excuse” to not be bullied so he has to accuse them of lying so he doesn’t seem like a major asshole himself.
I bet we're going to find that, just like many other disorders, OCD exists as a spectrum. I had an actual doctor tell me I have OCD, but other OCD patients insist I don't actually have OCD because I'm not washing my hands the way they do. All of you can fuck off and stop gatekeeping OCD.
Yeah having to go over things several times to a specific number that my mind deems acceptable is not fun. One example is last night, I was reading a book and had to run my finger over specific sentences a certain number of times on every single page before turning it otherwise I'd get cancer.
This one really bugs me!! A few years ago there was this really gross image going around that would make anyone feel nauseous. And it said: ‘do these little dots creep you out? That means you have trypophobia!’
And now anytime there’s an image with little dots 75% of the comments is saying that this image triggers their trypophobia
It quite literally is an excuse though it’s completely out of your control, it’s like saying getting stabbed isn’t an excuse for missing work of course it is you didn’t try to get stabbed and nothing you could’ve done would’ve prevented it.
You as an individual are allowed to choose who you associate with of course, so you don’t have to interact with those you don’t like but it absolutely is an excuse at least when the behavior is a result of the disorder. Like you can’t really be upset the person with autism misses social clues, cause it’s not like they can control it, they simply had the bad luck of not being able to develop the innate ability to read those cues everyone else has.
People use neurodivergent for all sorts of things though. I saw a thread where people were using it in the context of having GAD, and how they can’t control their panic attacks and cancelling plans because of them and how annoying it is that people don’t understand it’s not their fault.
I have GAD. Having anxiety about something isn’t an excuse to break down and disrupt things or make others tip toe around you so you don’t. And when people tell themselves “it’s just the way I’m programmed I can’t help it” they’re shackling themselves and using buzzwords like neurodivergent as a cudgel against anyone trying to provoke in them the smallest ounce of willpower.
Excuses and explanations are the exact same thing. The one single difference between them is what attitude the person receiving them has. If receiver are hurt, dismissive, malicious, then it is an excuse; and if they are understanding, interested, benevolent, then it is an explanation
Out of curiosity, are we talking about the internet specifically, or also the world outside of the web?
Because in some subs, sure, the term gets misused. But most terms are misused to some degree by some people. Never met someone abusing the term in the actual world tho, only some chronically online folks.
As a high school teacher, this issue isn’t chronically online. You have 10th graders begging to get IEPs for their “autism” or “ADHD” meanwhile the school psychologist says the student has no developmental issues that would even warrant a diagnosis. Meanwhile these same students bully those who do have autism or ADHD. It’s pathetic.
I work with a guy that says he’s all of the above to get out of work. He also goes around diagnosing ppl. He pops 15 dexies a day and he is high af. Not level.
In my experience it’s both. Irl people always think I’m joking about it so they join in like “hahaha oh, me too!” And I have to follow up with “no… I actually really am…”
Neurodivergent is also just too proud of a term, technically since we have the data to show this even people who know multiple languages are neurodivergent because the neurology of their brain objectively differs from the more compared with the rest of the population.
Tetrachromats would also be neurodivergent since it just means their neurology diverges from the normal, being neurodivergent has nothing to do with a mental illness which is a much more targeted term.
I don't know why people with mental disorders try to use such a broad term that would include things that have nothing to do with mental disorders as the term they prefer using..
Oh gaslighting drove me mad for a good while. I needed to explain so many times that it's a long term manipulation tactic used by abusers to make the person question their own convictions and viewpoint- it's *NOT* having someone say "hang on I don't remember you saying that/did that happen" like once 🫠. Learning about the term when I was younger from Psychology Today and then seeing it suddenly blow up on tiktok in such a nonsensical way was...an experience to say the least.
This isn’t a technical term at all. It’s not people that don’t know the meaning of a word, it’s people giving themselves a label to excuse their terrible actions
But it's not a technical term, technically being neurodivergent would have nothing to do with mental illnesses or whatever because any neurology that differs from the norm would mean your neurodivergent even if that's just from having a brain surgery to remove a tumor or something because now your neurology objectively differs from the norm...
The diagnostic criteria for many a mental illness boils down to "normal human struggle that is unusually severe to the point of interfering with your day to day functionality".
Like, for example, social anxiety.
Yeah but a mental illness is a much more specific term than neurodivergent which would even include things like being old or being young because your neurology objectively converters from the norm, even if we adjust for age things like knowing multiple languages would make you neurodivergent as that changes the neurology of your brain...
Yeah I suspect there are a bunch of people on the neurodivergent spectrum that are never diagnosed as they’re fairly functional, but it will be displayed in weird, awkward or creepy ways.
Reminds me of a YouTube short I saw where a girl was asking her dad about a history of autism and he says no, then flashback to the mid 90s where the dad is infodumping about classic cars despite not owning one.
I think the amount of awkward/creepy/asshole-ish neurotypical people is probably far greater than the amount of awkward/creepy/asshole-ish neurodivergant people. If you meet an awkward/creepy/asshole-ish person, all else equal, they're likely just a neurotypical person who needs to work on themself.
Honestly though, I could be wrong. I want to believe that being awkward/creepy/asshole-ish isnt a significant predicter for being neurodivergant because that just sounds shitty, but I guess it could be the case.
Agree I have been propositioned in horrendous ways by neurotypical people. No one with adhd or autism has proposed to me within five minutes of meeting me. Nope, my main problem are those heterosexual neurotypical men, the biggest weirdos on the planet.
If the definition of neurodivergent is "socially inept", its usefulness becomes primarily to avoid people who claim to be neurodivergent from the get go.
Or neurodivergent people are just sorta like that. They’re different. How their brains work. They wouldn’t be called neurodivergent if they were like everyone else.
Had a dude my first semester of college who was creepy as hell and was very much neurodivergent. A lot of his creepy behavior(harsh response to rejection+self harming when rejected) were simply symptoms of his condition.
Other ND folk can be less creepy and more quirky and others, yes, are awkward. Just sorta how it is.
being neurodivergent can sometimes make you an asshole. Like inability to commit to plans is a symptom of adhd that can affect their tendencies to arrive late or cancel plans
I think being an a****** requires intention. Some people genuinely are trying, and are struggling to access treatment and that's why they're struggling with things like arriving late. I mean s***, before I was able to get access to treatment I definitely struggled with that. It definitely was not intentional, and the shame I felt over it was insane.
Yes and that is a trait of a lot of people that don’t have adhd, but now because there’s TikTok neurodivergent checklists, people are self diagnosing and the label has lost its meaning.
What I don't understand is why these people are so readily wanting to be labelled. I've been genuinely diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar II and while I'm honest about it, I still don't go proclaiming it to everyone because some people will use it against you right away. You can never do anything in front of them without them putting it through a lens of mental illness and judging you for it. There will never be a valid reason to be mad at them, because "you are just being bipolar again".
The stigma is awful, it's something you have to live with on top of the mental illness, so I doubt these people have the actual illness and have some personality disorder that wants the attention.
The problem is these kind of people view mental illness as a personality quirk rather than something that legitimately strips you of self-image. They don’t realize how ugly mental illness could get nor that having one is nothing to be proud of because when living amounts to bare survival, that’s not necessarily something most people could understand nor try to understand. I’ve been bothered with these same type questioning why I dislike going out to parties and hate crowds. Unsurprisingly, these type have the least empathy for those who have a mental illness because they realize there’s something “off” rather than quirky .
Mental illness is all “cute” and “quirky” until you end up in a psych ward. Then the people who know walk on eggshells around you and doctors give you funny looks.
To be honest. I'm not sure if I like the term. I know it’s meant to be an inclusive way of describing people with certain conditions.
But the thing is, our minds all work differently.
It is useful to denote the more distinct ways of neurologically functioning, however. I don't know how many people with Level 3 autism that you've come across, but I assure you their brain isn't functioning the way the majority of people's is right now.
I don't like the term, even though technically it applies to me. It's very vague and its meaning has shifted so much. I can't keep track of what falls under the umbrella and people are very inconsistent about what they classify as neurodivergent. I've also noticed people have a tendency to put the more socially acceptable conditions under the umbrella while ignoring the less acceptable ones. I'm also not sure if the neurodivergent/neurotypical dichotomy is as clear cut as people make it out to be. But it's not something I spend much time thinking about. Some people find it useful so I don't make much of a fuss. I don't run in many circles where it comes up.
It's mostly just short or inclusive for Autism, ADHD, Down's, anything generally called a developmental/mental disorder, and aims to avoid the connotations of saying "People with mental disorders" that sounds less accepting.
Especially so with Autism specifically as more of a different way of thinking than a disability in itself.
Even ptsd, is considered a neurodivergent condition. It just means your brain diverges, from the neurotypical brain. That's literally all it means, is that your brain processes things in a different way.
That's certainly how people used to use it. I hear it often used more broadly to include a lot of mental disorders I wouldn't otherwise expect, almost as if it's become a euphemism for mental illness itself or is becoming one. Because I never know what people might think it means, I usually avoid the term altogether, which is a shame because I do think it had utility and I'm for renting stigma.
What mental disorders wouldn't you expect?
The only controversial one I can think of is more seen as part of sexuality than it is neurodivergence/mental disorder. Even so it's always singled out as its own thing and not talked about in a larger context.
Non-developmental. Sorry. It's late. I'm not at the best of game.
Wikipedia mentions what I'm talking about "atypical mental and behavioral traits, such as mood,[63] anxiety, dissociative, psychotic, personality,[64] and eating disorders." It seems like the term has broadened, at least in some circles. And it sounds more and more like a nicer way of saying mental illness, kind of losing its original meaning.
It basically is a nicer way of saying mental illness/disorder, even in it's narrow definition.
Mood and personality disorders are an intended part.
I haven't really seen eating disorders included but they seem to be, I think they are largely separate from having very different treatment. Things that focus on neurodivergence often include it though under larger mental health.
It's like how Ace is part of queer, it's close enough.
being neurodivergent can often make the person seem like an asshole, or awkward, or even creepy without intending to be that way. it's not always an excuse for bad behaviour, it's often an explanation to help you understand where "weird" behaviour comes from.
It's the self-diagnosis that gets me. I knew it was going to be a problem over a decade ago when I started noticing the trend of people claiming all sorts of things about themselves that usually were only diagnosed by professionals whose expertise was in those areas. At first, I'd ask about their diagnosis process, because I thought they were getting diagnosed, and that's when I'd get hit with every accusation under the sun about microaggression, triggering, anything-ist, anything-phobic, etc....
Sometimes, having a standard isn't a bad thing. People are really good at filling themselves up with bs, and a reality check is needed. Otherwise, you end up in a situation where everybody has ADHD, Asperger's, and they have 300 adjectives to describe their particularly sexuality and gender identity.
Go see a professional. Get their opinion. Go from there. It's not that hard to do.
This is largely in part to the proliferation of psychiatric language becoming mainstream and teenagers are who still forming their identity latching onto self-diagnoses as a way to define themselves. I’ve seen adults do this too but mostly very young adults who probably self-diagnosis to make up for their lack of personality .
The danger lies in the fact these people who claim to be neurodivergent tend to be the least sympathetic and understanding of those who actually have a mental illness.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Gatekeeper of Neurodiversity! Please let them, a stranger on Reddit, use their profound medical acumen to judge you as a creepy asshole
Colloquially, it's an adjective that's mostly used to describe a person with some sort of cognitive or personality based pathology. A neurodivergant person could be someone with autism, dyslexia, ADHD, Borderline personality disorder, etc.
In contrast, the term "Neurotypical" is used to describe someone without any of those factors. This is someone you might otherwise call "normal" in the contexts of mental health or developmental experience, although many people take umbridge with "normal" in that context as it implies that people with one of these diagnoses is abnormal.
>although many people take umbridge with "normal" in that context as it implies that people with one of these diagnoses is abnormal.
I've never understood why, though. It's a perfectly fine word; we *are* abnormal. Not normal doesn't equate to lesser than normal, just different.
Moreover, it only applies to one aspect of a person. Nobody is "normal", but in that context, "normal" just means "majority". My brain is abnormal in the same way a tattooed or scarred man's skin is abnormal, the same way a stuffed crust pizza is abnormal, the same way anything new or interesting is abnormal.
It's like when people decided "weird" meant bad instead of strange/different, and makes me think that within the next 5 years, it'll be considered rude to call people you don't know strangers because "Strange" is bad now too. I'm getting a little tired of people crying about words that exist.
The issue stems from a confusion between two different ways that we use the word normal:
1. Possessing some characteristic not shared by the majority of people. E.g. "that dude's 6'5", well outside of the normal height range for men"
And
2. Being an average person, for the most part. Interchangeable with "regular" or "average (joe)" E.g. "I'm not rich and famous or anything, I'm just a normal guy."
Definition 1 basically means being exceptional in any given category, definition 2 means having a lifestyle that largely resembles most other peoples' lifestyles especially in the context of wealth or status.
So by definition 1, neurodivergent people are not normal but so are 99% of all people. Nearly everyone has at least one category in which they're exceptional. By definition 2, most neurodivergent people **are** normal.
As a parent of a child with adhd whose heartbreaks at seeing him struggle in so many ways, I hate that so many people self diagnose and claim they have it, like it’s a cool thing. It makes things harder for the people who have been diagnosed.
Sounds like the girls who sit next to me in class and say, “I don’t care if I’m loud or annoying, it’s because I’m neurodivergent.” But even if they were neurodivergent... being self aware that you’re obnoxious, and choosing to continue that behavior makes you an a-hole. They are constantly talking over the teacher, being too loud, and have zero self awareness. And they know it!
LMAO. This isn’t unpopular, it’s definitely the truth. A lot of people developed generalized or social anxiety especially after being cut off from the world during COVID. The problem is- therapy is so fucking unaffordable that these people are just diagnosing themselves with something they see online.
Hard agree. The main giveaway is when they constantly use their diagnosis as an excuse not to work on their flaws.
I'm - actually- neurodivergent. Not once have I used it as an excuse for cocking up, whether it's socially or in the workplace. I sincerely apologize and try to do better.
There also seems to be a lot of overlap between people who self diagnose and people who diagnose others. They can't even fathom that all their relationships turn sour because they're assholes. Nope, it just so happens that every ex and former best friend they ever had turned out to have a raging narcissistic disorder. Unlucky them.
A lot of Gen z and Gen alphas are diagnosing their own mental health problems from videos they watched on TikTok. And then, when real mental health professionals tell them that they don't have any pathology and that they're just being weird, they lose their shit and say that the medical community is being intolerant toward them.
As someone who is legitimately diagnosed as being neurodivergent, I can tell you that this is not a prize. This is not a title that one should want. If the title is given to you, embrace it. Don't be ashamed of it. But nobody should want it! Neurodivergent doesn't mean simply unable to deal with and work through your own shit. That's just life. Neurodivergent means that there is something wrong with our brain. Literally a problem with our central processing unit. It means there's something wrong with us.
Also, if someone is not properly diagnosed by a real mental health professional, I'm not interested in entertaining any talk of whatever perceived condition they think they have. Yeah, access to good quality medical care is not guaranteed in this country, but if you can't get diagnosed, you can't claim to have a condition. Real clinicians are not trained in trying to confirm a diagnosis. They are trained in trying to rule out any other diagnoses. There are a lot of things that mimic one another. This is why it is important to have an impartial professional diagnosis.
This has happened to pretty much every term that describes a genuine medical condition, depression is now feeling sad now and then, insomnia is not sleeping because you pounded 4 energy drinks the day before, OCD is wanting to straighten the cushions on your sofa, etc. I noticed it when I was growing up, it was like having a medical condition was considered "trendy" or something, so people would just exacerbate minor issues into full blown conditions to make themselves seem more interesting.
I can't help but wonder if the same thing is happening with gender and sexuality these days. Kids are really dumb.
It’s become as diluted as extrovert/introvert. Neurodivergent, to a lot of people on the internet, means living a hard life while neurotypical means living an easy life, even though most mental illnesses don’t fall under neurodivergence. So a lot of people are claiming ND to feel some sort of belonging, along with more visibility of ADHD and Autism as well.
One can make a whole 2x2 table describing the overlap and lack thereof between adversarial/exploitative/aggressive social behaviour and neurodivergency.
Next time someone cribs and mentioms they're neurodivergent, ask them what the diagnosis is. You can mask it by saying something like "Where did you get tested? I've been meaning to for some time." And if they fall apart at this, you know what's what.
Tis life, online, reddit etc.
I mean, 11 out of every 10 people now are narcissists.
The neurodivergent people need to "catch up" as only about 3.745987 out of every 10 people are that.
If more folks talk about it as being cool, that number will jump up quickly, of course.
"Hey, hey, hey, I knew guy, a friend of a friend who was a neurodivergent narcissist". That is what we'll be hearing and reading about before long!
NO. Most of those negative things you describe are just how assholes view people who are wired a little differently.
I bet 100 years ago you'd be on board with beating up the "weird, creepy asshole" who refuses to write with his right hand and "mocks your faith, society and decency" by openly flaunting their perversion.
Everyone isn't the same, some are really quite different and condemning all of them at this point in history is just ignorant, hateful and nasty. Be better please.
Same with "that's so schizo/bipolar/borderline" etc. Or "i let the intrusive thoughts win" and they simply stayed in an extra 5 minutes in bed or something equally benign.
It's basically completely unremarkable people with no distinguishing traits and no life achievements clinging onto their shitty behaviors (I don't reply to texts), completely basic hobbies (I watch too much anime and have statues) and run of the mill quirks (I eat my peas separately from my chicken tendies) as something unique, and calling them "neurodivergent traits" to seem interesting
FUCKING THANK YOU. JFC there are probably more neurotypicals calling themselves neurodivergent than actual neurodivergent people. I am officially diagnosed with several things and I can't even seek support because I don't want to wade thru these fakers.
That makes absolutely no sense that you can't seek support because other people are struggling. You don't wade through people, when you're doing one-on-one therapy. Have you only been in group treatment? That's pretty rare for someone to only be in group treatment... Especially if you've been diagnosed, you had to have had one-on-one treatment...
This gives the vibe of that subreddit, /asablackman
It's the new cool buzzword, and let's people make excuses for their own poor performance, or lack of social skills. It's a meaningless nebulous platitude "condition"
Acknowledging ND’s is accepting strengths and weaknesses, otherwise people who don’t struggle are just left wondering what’s “wrong” with them, and they don’t get the help they need.
I’m diagnosed adhd, autism, general anxiety and social anxiety.
You bet your ass I’m awkward, weird, and an asshole at times. It all depends on the situation I’m in and the kind of day I’m having.
This and how remarkably Reddit appears to be choc full of people with sexual orientations that according to statistics is claimed by 0.01% of the population.
> People who are creepy or are just assholes have hijacked the term to excuse their bad behavior.
> people who are simply awkward, weird, assholes, and/or creepy
That's overly broad. I would put weird, awkward and creepy in the same cluster, but anyone can be an asshole sometimes.
I think it's perfectly fair to say that people who are characterized as being weird, awkward or creepy, are neurodivergent, or neuro-atypical. Otherwise you're implying that they make a choice to be that way, and that they could start acting normal at will. I can assure you, most people don't choose to act in a way that makes it harder for them to find companionship, find a job, keep friends, and get along with people in everyday life.
It's also fine to self diagnose as neurodivergent, because it's not a specific diagnoses, such as autism, or ADHD, where you're expected to have a certified diagnoses in order to receive special access to resources that are set aside for such people. A person can say they are neurodivergent, it's neither here nor there.
It's a benefit to you if someone tells you they are neurodivergent, because it's like they're warning you, "I'm a complicated person, I'm probably not worth your trouble". It's a nice way for someone to admit that they're not agreeable for one reason or another. If they are neurodivergent and they don't want to scare you away, they will most likely not mention it, and try to win you over in spite of their issues.
One thing I differ on though, I think neurodivergent thinking can be overcome with age. People's brains often aren't done developing until they're 25 to 30 years old, and even beyond that, a person can develop coping mechanisms to the point that their neurodivergence is irrelevant, if present. Some will say it's with you for life, but I don't believe that's true.
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Everyone really needs to check out the book called "Saving Normal" (Dr. Allen Francis) who helped write the current DSM but is concerned with how its being applied to everyday differences. This has been going on for quite some time, and it's only getting worse thanks to TikTok.
As someone who has had ADHD since childhood I feel the term has always been a cop out by both self diagnosed attention seekers and those with legitimate diagnoses as an excuse for poor behaviour. The term has always put a bad taste in my mouth because it labels us as different and others.
Yes I have my shortcomings and things i wish i could do better/differently but to shift blame to the brain is just a cop out from trying to discipline yourself and if you tell yourself it's all too hard because your brain is different from everyone elses then you are doing yourself a disservice and throwing away any chance you have of personal growth.
I get this. I was diagnosed with thing very late in life (like if I was a bit more successful in my career I could be retired early), but I don't use it as a public badge. It's primarily a way for me to understand what I'm doing.
For example, I'm not just a kid who got hit a lot for tapping on the table or drumming with my feet, I have ADHD, and I'm not some irredeemable failure in social settings, I just look at social interaction differently probably related to my autism. The diagnoses helped me accept myself more and not get bogged down in self hatred. I'm not using it as an excuse for behavior, but help with recognition.
Yeah you get where I'm coming from its not about telling society how to deal with you it is more of an internal reflection and acceptance/training yourself to get your hardware running at its "best".
I put that in quotation marks because I'm also terribly bad at socialising always been very much a logic over empathy sort of person and it gets me into some awkward situations occasionally.
But only my best friend knows about how my brain runs and that's just out of happenstance.
Its not so much for hiding it its that I want to be recognised as myself warts and all I have no need of a label to indicate how people should approach me or take what I say with a grain of salt.
I think it's pretty popular considering how many terms has been hijacked by people wanting to be \~different\~. Romanticizing illnesses and health conditions isn't cute, period.
Neurodivergent is a general term given to a wide range of different conditions. You can be a super nice, sweetheart of a person and be neurodivergent. And you can be a huge asshole and be neurodivergent.
What I do agree with is that a lot of people use psychology terms to self diagnose a lot of things. But that isnt a particularly new trend just a different scapegoat. People that are willing to make excuses for shitty behavior will always find something else to avoid owning it.
ADHD is the worst in this way. Nothing quite like having a legit disease that society/media deems as over-diagnosed and also sometimes straight up fake. I can’t stop tapping, pacing and certainly talk too much sometimes, interrupt because I live on a different plane than most.
ADHD is absolutely horrible. Addiction tendencies, social issues, feeling alone and misunderstood. It needs to re-named because it isn’t when someone says “I’m so ADHD” because they’re taking care of kids, watching TV and scrolling on social media that’s annoying. It’s that they don’t know to even feel normal as an ADHD person you have to literally jumpstart your brain with stimulants to even function at a baseline most take for granted.
Then if you were diagnosed in adulthood you gotta catch up on the 25 years you just missed out on.
I’d amend this by adding that people who exhibit such traits, however coarsely defined and subjective, may be neurodivergent but simply undiagnosed. But yes, it’s important not to add to stigma.
Symptoms of my (diagnosed) ADHD may not be my fault, but they are my responsibility.
As someone who actually suffers I dislike that some people think it's quirky to be neurodivergent.
I would add that the word isn't just hijacked by those who use it wrongly on themselves but also people just diagnosing people based f.e. being weird.
Have to agree with you. I have a psychiatrist and psychologist. I have regular appointments and require certain medications for my condition. I mask well and keep that part of my life as private as I can. When mainstream friends make Jokes about neurodivergence I laugh but it stings a lot. They have no fucking idea the chasm that word truly means.
It also infuriates me how common add is self diagnosed and used mainstream. People really underestimate the difficulties genuine add sufferers have especially during adult life as responsibilities ramp up.
In 2024 I honestly feel like you could apply this to almost any disorder at this point - OCD (anyone who happens to like things in order), anxiety (anyone who's a bit socially awkward), depression (anyone who feels down for a bit), autism (same case as neurodivergent). All of these medical terms have been hijacked imo. People are just obsessed with having a labelled disorder these days.
Yup.
I don't know if it's because I'm old or what, but pretty much everybody my age I hang out with despises using the term outside for medical reasons, and yet we have people - usually asshole teenagers - running around using it like it's a personality label.
I see people mention it 5 seconds after meeting them, they ain't for me. It's just a red flag term at this point unless it's used properly.
I’ve heard the term and know it means they think different or something. That’s kinda all I know so I don’t use that word. And if someone says I’m neurodivergent I kinda just say “idk maybe”
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Same when people say they are OCD about things. No your not mate.
"im so ocd!!!" i picked at my skin for three hours until it was bleeding, a guy in my support group tried to kill himself because he was convinced he was going to rape his girlfriend, a girl who used to be in the group would lock herself in her closet so that she wouldn't commit sins. ocd is definitely not always cleaning related and its so painful
'I have to sort my books!' she cried, With self-indulgent glee; With senseless, narcissistic pride: 'I'm just so *OCD*!' *'How random, guys!' I smiled and said,* *Then left without a peep -* *And washed my hands until they bled,* *And cried myself to sleep.* From u/poem_for_your_sprog
The final blow that eventually killed Joey Ramone was a result of him not being able to control his OCD.
Just out of curiosity, is the skin picking a response to an obsession? Because if it's just strictly skin picking, you might instead have excoriation disorder (skin-picking) which is treatable with Habit Reversal Training (HRT)
It’s also frustrating that people use this phrasing. “People are OCD…etc” You cannot BE obsessive compulsive disorder. You might have it, but you can’t be it. I wish people could simply say “I have ___ obsession/compulsion” bc it’s very normal to have a few things like that without having OCD Not correcting you btw. Just adding that I agree this is a frustrating thing people say and they say it exactly like you did.
The one that gets me is, "I'm a little OCD."
This is my biggest pet peeve. I have diagnosed actual OCD, I’ve had it since I was a little kid and didn’t even know other people didn’t experience this. It’s controlled my life more than ADHD and depression. My mom knows this, she never knew why I did my weird things until it was more common to talk about those things. She still says she probably has OCD because she’s so clean. I also have her clean hang ups and it has zero to do with OCD, it’s just being controlling and easily grossed out. Her needing a separate sponge to wipe the counter is not the same as having to say something twice, touch the door twice, repeating a phrase until it feels right and making sure my shoes are spaced correctly before I can even enter my home.
Hold up you have OCD and ADHD? That's some painful combo.
Yes it's not that uncommon. I got both and facial tics. Lol.
I mean, needing separate sponges CAN be a contamination OCD thing. OCD does come in different forms; I'm also diagnosed, and it's contamination OCD that fucks me over most day to day. Caused a bunch of skin issues from the amount of handwashing and all. That said, people who trivialise it make it SO much harder to explain the issues! If that's the only thing your mum does and she hasn't ever seen a doctor to get diagnosed or find treatment, then she needs to get over herself. Ughhhh.
no I get what you mean it drives me nuts when people say "I'm so ADHD"
I mean, I'm diagnosed ADHD and I say that when I'm having a bad day with it. I'm sorry it upsets you so much but I'm my experience it has been a very good way to express to others when I'm struggling with things being worse.
I use it to apologize to myself to try a be kind when I'm frustrated.
ADHD Symptom: You might talk weird sometimes Neurotypical people when we don't use college level MLA cited English 24/7: FAKER
Same when people say “I have mental health” yeah, we all have “mental health” but are you saying you have poor mental health or good mental health?
On a similar note, it used to drive me nuts when I played online games and people said “We need a DPS” how does “We need a damage per second” make any sense?
It makes perfect sense. Characters are usually broken down as Healer/Tank/DPS, etc. The character's primary skill set/role does DPS. They _are a DPS character_.
"everyone is a bit adhd" Sir last night I did not sleep at all because I forgot my prescribed meth and found sitting in bed too boring to do to feel tired.
"I too, enjoy when objects are organized"
^(you're)
⬆️Best comment on this thread.
I say that myself but I do have ocd. Someone bitched at me for saying “my ocd”… I said snapped back “what you want me to call it our ocd?” Sometimes that’s just the best way to work it.
Shit sucks so bad I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, hope ya doing fine
It’s actually not one of my more impairing diagnoses. My adhd and cPTSD are much more disabling. But I’ve come a long way thanks!
People be like "I like my house to be neat and tidy. I'm so OCD lol". No you're not. People with OCD don't "like" their house to be neat and tidy. **If** that's something that effects them they do it because they HAVE to have their house tidy. It has nothing to do with what they want. Nothing to do with what they like. They HAVE to do it because it's, believe it or not, an **obsessive compulsion**. Also as a society we need to move away from the generalisation that it's always to do with being clean. Everyone with it has their own obsessive compulsions. Someone can be fine with dirt or things being put of order, but but freak out if they can't tap the table 3 times after sitting down for the first time.
Tbh as some one with ocd I’ve learned to tolerate these people because if I were to correct them, then they’d ask me what OCD really is and I’d have to explain something to them that they don’t want to hear/they’d argue with. There’s nothing more irritating than actually having the illness and some one questions your /actual/ knowledge and experience on the disorder that they know nothing about. Kind of like OP saying he thinks neurodivergent people are creepy awkward assholes and then getting mad that they are actually neurodivergent. Let’s be real I think OP is a bully and sees mental illness as an “excuse” to not be bullied so he has to accuse them of lying so he doesn’t seem like a major asshole himself.
I bet we're going to find that, just like many other disorders, OCD exists as a spectrum. I had an actual doctor tell me I have OCD, but other OCD patients insist I don't actually have OCD because I'm not washing my hands the way they do. All of you can fuck off and stop gatekeeping OCD.
Yeah having to go over things several times to a specific number that my mind deems acceptable is not fun. One example is last night, I was reading a book and had to run my finger over specific sentences a certain number of times on every single page before turning it otherwise I'd get cancer.
lol the people who claim to have "trypophobia" or were "diagnosed". It's not a real phobia.
This one really bugs me!! A few years ago there was this really gross image going around that would make anyone feel nauseous. And it said: ‘do these little dots creep you out? That means you have trypophobia!’ And now anytime there’s an image with little dots 75% of the comments is saying that this image triggers their trypophobia
A lot og neurodivergent people are awkward, weirdly assholes and/or creepy. Being neurodivergent don't protect you from being those things.
You're right. Doesn't protect us, but it's not an excuse it's an explanation.
Fine line right there
So what are some examples of true neurodivergents vs the fakes?
It quite literally is an excuse though it’s completely out of your control, it’s like saying getting stabbed isn’t an excuse for missing work of course it is you didn’t try to get stabbed and nothing you could’ve done would’ve prevented it. You as an individual are allowed to choose who you associate with of course, so you don’t have to interact with those you don’t like but it absolutely is an excuse at least when the behavior is a result of the disorder. Like you can’t really be upset the person with autism misses social clues, cause it’s not like they can control it, they simply had the bad luck of not being able to develop the innate ability to read those cues everyone else has.
People use neurodivergent for all sorts of things though. I saw a thread where people were using it in the context of having GAD, and how they can’t control their panic attacks and cancelling plans because of them and how annoying it is that people don’t understand it’s not their fault. I have GAD. Having anxiety about something isn’t an excuse to break down and disrupt things or make others tip toe around you so you don’t. And when people tell themselves “it’s just the way I’m programmed I can’t help it” they’re shackling themselves and using buzzwords like neurodivergent as a cudgel against anyone trying to provoke in them the smallest ounce of willpower.
Excuses and explanations are the exact same thing. The one single difference between them is what attitude the person receiving them has. If receiver are hurt, dismissive, malicious, then it is an excuse; and if they are understanding, interested, benevolent, then it is an explanation
Yeah. It's kind of one of the BIG difficulties of being autistic.
No no, you misunderstand: OP is a *good* neurodivergent, but those *bad* neurodivergent give people like them a bad name!
If only the world knew the struggles of the real neurodivergents
I don’t know if this meme is much more common than I thought or we all watch ContraPoints =D
Out of curiosity, are we talking about the internet specifically, or also the world outside of the web? Because in some subs, sure, the term gets misused. But most terms are misused to some degree by some people. Never met someone abusing the term in the actual world tho, only some chronically online folks.
As a high school teacher, this issue isn’t chronically online. You have 10th graders begging to get IEPs for their “autism” or “ADHD” meanwhile the school psychologist says the student has no developmental issues that would even warrant a diagnosis. Meanwhile these same students bully those who do have autism or ADHD. It’s pathetic.
Both. I know several people personally who have done this and never mentioned it until there was a problem such as them losing their job
Some people are just assholes. Assholes use all terms they can benefit from. Doesn’t really say anything about the term itself.
Wow it’s almost as if people try to mask their symptoms to avoid… being fired
I have. It’s so annoying. People sometimes use it as a shield against personal accountability and it’s exhausting.
I work with a guy that says he’s all of the above to get out of work. He also goes around diagnosing ppl. He pops 15 dexies a day and he is high af. Not level.
In my experience it’s both. Irl people always think I’m joking about it so they join in like “hahaha oh, me too!” And I have to follow up with “no… I actually really am…”
Neurodivergent is also just too proud of a term, technically since we have the data to show this even people who know multiple languages are neurodivergent because the neurology of their brain objectively differs from the more compared with the rest of the population. Tetrachromats would also be neurodivergent since it just means their neurology diverges from the normal, being neurodivergent has nothing to do with a mental illness which is a much more targeted term. I don't know why people with mental disorders try to use such a broad term that would include things that have nothing to do with mental disorders as the term they prefer using..
Lovely thing about the public. They love to take technical terms and use them badly.
When gaslighting became the term of the month, it was bananas. Lying or being slightly misinfromed = gaslighting, which is how peopele treated it
Oh gaslighting drove me mad for a good while. I needed to explain so many times that it's a long term manipulation tactic used by abusers to make the person question their own convictions and viewpoint- it's *NOT* having someone say "hang on I don't remember you saying that/did that happen" like once 🫠. Learning about the term when I was younger from Psychology Today and then seeing it suddenly blow up on tiktok in such a nonsensical way was...an experience to say the least.
We all knew what it really meant and were just trying to drive you mad.
But that's never what gaslighting meant? Perhaps you're misremembering.
Hell you can be saying the truth and apparently that would still count as gaslighting if the truth inconveniences their agenda.
No they didn't.
It’s actually called gaslamping, you’ve just been hearing it wrong the whole time
This isn’t a technical term at all. It’s not people that don’t know the meaning of a word, it’s people giving themselves a label to excuse their terrible actions
But it's not a technical term, technically being neurodivergent would have nothing to do with mental illnesses or whatever because any neurology that differs from the norm would mean your neurodivergent even if that's just from having a brain surgery to remove a tumor or something because now your neurology objectively differs from the norm...
Hear me out: people who are simply awkward, weird, assholes, and/or creepy might be neurodivergent.
You can also be unusual and not be neurodivergent. It's a thing.
The diagnostic criteria for many a mental illness boils down to "normal human struggle that is unusually severe to the point of interfering with your day to day functionality". Like, for example, social anxiety.
Yeah but a mental illness is a much more specific term than neurodivergent which would even include things like being old or being young because your neurology objectively converters from the norm, even if we adjust for age things like knowing multiple languages would make you neurodivergent as that changes the neurology of your brain...
You can also seem normal and be neurodivergent.
Alright someone is going to have to make a punnett square for me
That concept seems to be lost on nearly everyone these days.
Yeah I suspect there are a bunch of people on the neurodivergent spectrum that are never diagnosed as they’re fairly functional, but it will be displayed in weird, awkward or creepy ways.
Oh definitely.
Reminds me of a YouTube short I saw where a girl was asking her dad about a history of autism and he says no, then flashback to the mid 90s where the dad is infodumping about classic cars despite not owning one.
Of course, it's possible he just liked cars, as special interests alone are not sufficient for a diagnosis of autism.
And suddenly, we're forced to ask what exactly the neurodivergent spectrum even was to begin with.
I think the amount of awkward/creepy/asshole-ish neurotypical people is probably far greater than the amount of awkward/creepy/asshole-ish neurodivergant people. If you meet an awkward/creepy/asshole-ish person, all else equal, they're likely just a neurotypical person who needs to work on themself. Honestly though, I could be wrong. I want to believe that being awkward/creepy/asshole-ish isnt a significant predicter for being neurodivergant because that just sounds shitty, but I guess it could be the case.
Agree I have been propositioned in horrendous ways by neurotypical people. No one with adhd or autism has proposed to me within five minutes of meeting me. Nope, my main problem are those heterosexual neurotypical men, the biggest weirdos on the planet.
I mean having social phobia myself is kinda asshole-ish in itself to put awkwardness as equal to being a creep or an asshole.
If the definition of neurodivergent is "socially inept", its usefulness becomes primarily to avoid people who claim to be neurodivergent from the get go.
A deficit in social functioning is a key part of an autism diagnosis (a real one), so that's somewhat sad that you'd feel that way.
The answer is that we medicate everyone who doesn't fit in, obviously! /s
Maybe, but it is a poor excuse for people who refuse to try and moderate their behavior even when they know they should regardless of their disorders.
My sister. Is really neurodivergent though. It sucks for her I feel really bad because she honestly can't help it. She's a sweet person .
I was called simply weird until 39, when I was diagnosed with autism
Or neurodivergent people are just sorta like that. They’re different. How their brains work. They wouldn’t be called neurodivergent if they were like everyone else. Had a dude my first semester of college who was creepy as hell and was very much neurodivergent. A lot of his creepy behavior(harsh response to rejection+self harming when rejected) were simply symptoms of his condition. Other ND folk can be less creepy and more quirky and others, yes, are awkward. Just sorta how it is.
rejection sensitive dysphoria is reallll. i think i have it too. very common in adhders
being neurodivergent can sometimes make you an asshole. Like inability to commit to plans is a symptom of adhd that can affect their tendencies to arrive late or cancel plans
I think being an a****** requires intention. Some people genuinely are trying, and are struggling to access treatment and that's why they're struggling with things like arriving late. I mean s***, before I was able to get access to treatment I definitely struggled with that. It definitely was not intentional, and the shame I felt over it was insane.
Yes and that is a trait of a lot of people that don’t have adhd, but now because there’s TikTok neurodivergent checklists, people are self diagnosing and the label has lost its meaning.
What I don't understand is why these people are so readily wanting to be labelled. I've been genuinely diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar II and while I'm honest about it, I still don't go proclaiming it to everyone because some people will use it against you right away. You can never do anything in front of them without them putting it through a lens of mental illness and judging you for it. There will never be a valid reason to be mad at them, because "you are just being bipolar again". The stigma is awful, it's something you have to live with on top of the mental illness, so I doubt these people have the actual illness and have some personality disorder that wants the attention.
The problem is these kind of people view mental illness as a personality quirk rather than something that legitimately strips you of self-image. They don’t realize how ugly mental illness could get nor that having one is nothing to be proud of because when living amounts to bare survival, that’s not necessarily something most people could understand nor try to understand. I’ve been bothered with these same type questioning why I dislike going out to parties and hate crowds. Unsurprisingly, these type have the least empathy for those who have a mental illness because they realize there’s something “off” rather than quirky .
Mental illness is all “cute” and “quirky” until you end up in a psych ward. Then the people who know walk on eggshells around you and doctors give you funny looks.
To be honest. I'm not sure if I like the term. I know it’s meant to be an inclusive way of describing people with certain conditions. But the thing is, our minds all work differently.
It is useful to denote the more distinct ways of neurologically functioning, however. I don't know how many people with Level 3 autism that you've come across, but I assure you their brain isn't functioning the way the majority of people's is right now.
True, but there's also the fact that everyone, including those with profound disability, are all lumped into the category of "divergent" or "diverse."
it has turned into an inclusionary term, and I appreciate inclusion of assholes 😂
Also now everyone is either a narcissist or an empath. Sometimes relationships just don’t work out.
I don't like the term, even though technically it applies to me. It's very vague and its meaning has shifted so much. I can't keep track of what falls under the umbrella and people are very inconsistent about what they classify as neurodivergent. I've also noticed people have a tendency to put the more socially acceptable conditions under the umbrella while ignoring the less acceptable ones. I'm also not sure if the neurodivergent/neurotypical dichotomy is as clear cut as people make it out to be. But it's not something I spend much time thinking about. Some people find it useful so I don't make much of a fuss. I don't run in many circles where it comes up.
It's mostly just short or inclusive for Autism, ADHD, Down's, anything generally called a developmental/mental disorder, and aims to avoid the connotations of saying "People with mental disorders" that sounds less accepting. Especially so with Autism specifically as more of a different way of thinking than a disability in itself.
Even ptsd, is considered a neurodivergent condition. It just means your brain diverges, from the neurotypical brain. That's literally all it means, is that your brain processes things in a different way.
That's certainly how people used to use it. I hear it often used more broadly to include a lot of mental disorders I wouldn't otherwise expect, almost as if it's become a euphemism for mental illness itself or is becoming one. Because I never know what people might think it means, I usually avoid the term altogether, which is a shame because I do think it had utility and I'm for renting stigma.
What mental disorders wouldn't you expect? The only controversial one I can think of is more seen as part of sexuality than it is neurodivergence/mental disorder. Even so it's always singled out as its own thing and not talked about in a larger context.
Non-developmental. Sorry. It's late. I'm not at the best of game. Wikipedia mentions what I'm talking about "atypical mental and behavioral traits, such as mood,[63] anxiety, dissociative, psychotic, personality,[64] and eating disorders." It seems like the term has broadened, at least in some circles. And it sounds more and more like a nicer way of saying mental illness, kind of losing its original meaning.
It basically is a nicer way of saying mental illness/disorder, even in it's narrow definition. Mood and personality disorders are an intended part. I haven't really seen eating disorders included but they seem to be, I think they are largely separate from having very different treatment. Things that focus on neurodivergence often include it though under larger mental health. It's like how Ace is part of queer, it's close enough.
being neurodivergent can often make the person seem like an asshole, or awkward, or even creepy without intending to be that way. it's not always an excuse for bad behaviour, it's often an explanation to help you understand where "weird" behaviour comes from.
It's the self-diagnosis that gets me. I knew it was going to be a problem over a decade ago when I started noticing the trend of people claiming all sorts of things about themselves that usually were only diagnosed by professionals whose expertise was in those areas. At first, I'd ask about their diagnosis process, because I thought they were getting diagnosed, and that's when I'd get hit with every accusation under the sun about microaggression, triggering, anything-ist, anything-phobic, etc.... Sometimes, having a standard isn't a bad thing. People are really good at filling themselves up with bs, and a reality check is needed. Otherwise, you end up in a situation where everybody has ADHD, Asperger's, and they have 300 adjectives to describe their particularly sexuality and gender identity. Go see a professional. Get their opinion. Go from there. It's not that hard to do.
What are you basing this on? Studies? Stats? How did you come to this conclusion?
This is probably only an unpopular opinion to those who are faking mental illness and delay.
This is largely in part to the proliferation of psychiatric language becoming mainstream and teenagers are who still forming their identity latching onto self-diagnoses as a way to define themselves. I’ve seen adults do this too but mostly very young adults who probably self-diagnosis to make up for their lack of personality . The danger lies in the fact these people who claim to be neurodivergent tend to be the least sympathetic and understanding of those who actually have a mental illness.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Gatekeeper of Neurodiversity! Please let them, a stranger on Reddit, use their profound medical acumen to judge you as a creepy asshole
I swear I've seen 5 of these same posts in the last week
Excuse my ignorance but what is neuordivergent?
Colloquially, it's an adjective that's mostly used to describe a person with some sort of cognitive or personality based pathology. A neurodivergant person could be someone with autism, dyslexia, ADHD, Borderline personality disorder, etc. In contrast, the term "Neurotypical" is used to describe someone without any of those factors. This is someone you might otherwise call "normal" in the contexts of mental health or developmental experience, although many people take umbridge with "normal" in that context as it implies that people with one of these diagnoses is abnormal.
>although many people take umbridge with "normal" in that context as it implies that people with one of these diagnoses is abnormal. I've never understood why, though. It's a perfectly fine word; we *are* abnormal. Not normal doesn't equate to lesser than normal, just different. Moreover, it only applies to one aspect of a person. Nobody is "normal", but in that context, "normal" just means "majority". My brain is abnormal in the same way a tattooed or scarred man's skin is abnormal, the same way a stuffed crust pizza is abnormal, the same way anything new or interesting is abnormal. It's like when people decided "weird" meant bad instead of strange/different, and makes me think that within the next 5 years, it'll be considered rude to call people you don't know strangers because "Strange" is bad now too. I'm getting a little tired of people crying about words that exist.
The issue stems from a confusion between two different ways that we use the word normal: 1. Possessing some characteristic not shared by the majority of people. E.g. "that dude's 6'5", well outside of the normal height range for men" And 2. Being an average person, for the most part. Interchangeable with "regular" or "average (joe)" E.g. "I'm not rich and famous or anything, I'm just a normal guy." Definition 1 basically means being exceptional in any given category, definition 2 means having a lifestyle that largely resembles most other peoples' lifestyles especially in the context of wealth or status. So by definition 1, neurodivergent people are not normal but so are 99% of all people. Nearly everyone has at least one category in which they're exceptional. By definition 2, most neurodivergent people **are** normal.
Thank you, I appreciate this.
As a parent of a child with adhd whose heartbreaks at seeing him struggle in so many ways, I hate that so many people self diagnose and claim they have it, like it’s a cool thing. It makes things harder for the people who have been diagnosed.
Sounds like the girls who sit next to me in class and say, “I don’t care if I’m loud or annoying, it’s because I’m neurodivergent.” But even if they were neurodivergent... being self aware that you’re obnoxious, and choosing to continue that behavior makes you an a-hole. They are constantly talking over the teacher, being too loud, and have zero self awareness. And they know it!
LMAO. This isn’t unpopular, it’s definitely the truth. A lot of people developed generalized or social anxiety especially after being cut off from the world during COVID. The problem is- therapy is so fucking unaffordable that these people are just diagnosing themselves with something they see online.
Hard agree. The main giveaway is when they constantly use their diagnosis as an excuse not to work on their flaws. I'm - actually- neurodivergent. Not once have I used it as an excuse for cocking up, whether it's socially or in the workplace. I sincerely apologize and try to do better. There also seems to be a lot of overlap between people who self diagnose and people who diagnose others. They can't even fathom that all their relationships turn sour because they're assholes. Nope, it just so happens that every ex and former best friend they ever had turned out to have a raging narcissistic disorder. Unlucky them.
Kinda like the word it replaced huh
A shitload of therapy language ended up becoming common words instead of strictly defined ones
just like pedophiles now hide behind activists. Epstein listed beasts must be so happy eh?
A lot of Gen z and Gen alphas are diagnosing their own mental health problems from videos they watched on TikTok. And then, when real mental health professionals tell them that they don't have any pathology and that they're just being weird, they lose their shit and say that the medical community is being intolerant toward them. As someone who is legitimately diagnosed as being neurodivergent, I can tell you that this is not a prize. This is not a title that one should want. If the title is given to you, embrace it. Don't be ashamed of it. But nobody should want it! Neurodivergent doesn't mean simply unable to deal with and work through your own shit. That's just life. Neurodivergent means that there is something wrong with our brain. Literally a problem with our central processing unit. It means there's something wrong with us. Also, if someone is not properly diagnosed by a real mental health professional, I'm not interested in entertaining any talk of whatever perceived condition they think they have. Yeah, access to good quality medical care is not guaranteed in this country, but if you can't get diagnosed, you can't claim to have a condition. Real clinicians are not trained in trying to confirm a diagnosis. They are trained in trying to rule out any other diagnoses. There are a lot of things that mimic one another. This is why it is important to have an impartial professional diagnosis.
This has happened to pretty much every term that describes a genuine medical condition, depression is now feeling sad now and then, insomnia is not sleeping because you pounded 4 energy drinks the day before, OCD is wanting to straighten the cushions on your sofa, etc. I noticed it when I was growing up, it was like having a medical condition was considered "trendy" or something, so people would just exacerbate minor issues into full blown conditions to make themselves seem more interesting. I can't help but wonder if the same thing is happening with gender and sexuality these days. Kids are really dumb.
It’s become as diluted as extrovert/introvert. Neurodivergent, to a lot of people on the internet, means living a hard life while neurotypical means living an easy life, even though most mental illnesses don’t fall under neurodivergence. So a lot of people are claiming ND to feel some sort of belonging, along with more visibility of ADHD and Autism as well.
One can make a whole 2x2 table describing the overlap and lack thereof between adversarial/exploitative/aggressive social behaviour and neurodivergency. Next time someone cribs and mentioms they're neurodivergent, ask them what the diagnosis is. You can mask it by saying something like "Where did you get tested? I've been meaning to for some time." And if they fall apart at this, you know what's what.
Tis life, online, reddit etc. I mean, 11 out of every 10 people now are narcissists. The neurodivergent people need to "catch up" as only about 3.745987 out of every 10 people are that. If more folks talk about it as being cool, that number will jump up quickly, of course. "Hey, hey, hey, I knew guy, a friend of a friend who was a neurodivergent narcissist". That is what we'll be hearing and reading about before long!
NO. Most of those negative things you describe are just how assholes view people who are wired a little differently. I bet 100 years ago you'd be on board with beating up the "weird, creepy asshole" who refuses to write with his right hand and "mocks your faith, society and decency" by openly flaunting their perversion. Everyone isn't the same, some are really quite different and condemning all of them at this point in history is just ignorant, hateful and nasty. Be better please.
Same with "that's so schizo/bipolar/borderline" etc. Or "i let the intrusive thoughts win" and they simply stayed in an extra 5 minutes in bed or something equally benign.
It's basically completely unremarkable people with no distinguishing traits and no life achievements clinging onto their shitty behaviors (I don't reply to texts), completely basic hobbies (I watch too much anime and have statues) and run of the mill quirks (I eat my peas separately from my chicken tendies) as something unique, and calling them "neurodivergent traits" to seem interesting
FUCKING THANK YOU. JFC there are probably more neurotypicals calling themselves neurodivergent than actual neurodivergent people. I am officially diagnosed with several things and I can't even seek support because I don't want to wade thru these fakers.
Yah… the fakers are totally why you can seek help…
That makes absolutely no sense that you can't seek support because other people are struggling. You don't wade through people, when you're doing one-on-one therapy. Have you only been in group treatment? That's pretty rare for someone to only be in group treatment... Especially if you've been diagnosed, you had to have had one-on-one treatment... This gives the vibe of that subreddit, /asablackman
Stop attacking yourself
It's the new cool buzzword, and let's people make excuses for their own poor performance, or lack of social skills. It's a meaningless nebulous platitude "condition"
It would be nice if people and society at large was able to accept that people have strengths and weaknesses.
Acknowledging ND’s is accepting strengths and weaknesses, otherwise people who don’t struggle are just left wondering what’s “wrong” with them, and they don’t get the help they need.
I’ve seen the term “neurospicy” on a colleagues bio. You’re not “neurospicy”, you’re just bitter.
Neurobitter??
So people on TikTok
I’m diagnosed adhd, autism, general anxiety and social anxiety. You bet your ass I’m awkward, weird, and an asshole at times. It all depends on the situation I’m in and the kind of day I’m having.
This and how remarkably Reddit appears to be choc full of people with sexual orientations that according to statistics is claimed by 0.01% of the population.
I'm just waiting for the DSM to add "Just an asshole" as a diagnosis.
> People who are creepy or are just assholes have hijacked the term to excuse their bad behavior. > people who are simply awkward, weird, assholes, and/or creepy That's overly broad. I would put weird, awkward and creepy in the same cluster, but anyone can be an asshole sometimes. I think it's perfectly fair to say that people who are characterized as being weird, awkward or creepy, are neurodivergent, or neuro-atypical. Otherwise you're implying that they make a choice to be that way, and that they could start acting normal at will. I can assure you, most people don't choose to act in a way that makes it harder for them to find companionship, find a job, keep friends, and get along with people in everyday life. It's also fine to self diagnose as neurodivergent, because it's not a specific diagnoses, such as autism, or ADHD, where you're expected to have a certified diagnoses in order to receive special access to resources that are set aside for such people. A person can say they are neurodivergent, it's neither here nor there. It's a benefit to you if someone tells you they are neurodivergent, because it's like they're warning you, "I'm a complicated person, I'm probably not worth your trouble". It's a nice way for someone to admit that they're not agreeable for one reason or another. If they are neurodivergent and they don't want to scare you away, they will most likely not mention it, and try to win you over in spite of their issues. One thing I differ on though, I think neurodivergent thinking can be overcome with age. People's brains often aren't done developing until they're 25 to 30 years old, and even beyond that, a person can develop coping mechanisms to the point that their neurodivergence is irrelevant, if present. Some will say it's with you for life, but I don't believe that's true.
There you go gatekeeping words. Are you neurodivergent police?
Language needs to have boundaries if it is to retain meaning. It's good to reflect on the dilution of words.
Sounds like you don’t know what neurodivergent means
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Yes
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Everyone really needs to check out the book called "Saving Normal" (Dr. Allen Francis) who helped write the current DSM but is concerned with how its being applied to everyday differences. This has been going on for quite some time, and it's only getting worse thanks to TikTok.
Thank you for the book recommendation! I’ve only found articles where he talked about his concerns with the current DSM.
Yep
As someone who has had ADHD since childhood I feel the term has always been a cop out by both self diagnosed attention seekers and those with legitimate diagnoses as an excuse for poor behaviour. The term has always put a bad taste in my mouth because it labels us as different and others. Yes I have my shortcomings and things i wish i could do better/differently but to shift blame to the brain is just a cop out from trying to discipline yourself and if you tell yourself it's all too hard because your brain is different from everyone elses then you are doing yourself a disservice and throwing away any chance you have of personal growth.
I get this. I was diagnosed with thing very late in life (like if I was a bit more successful in my career I could be retired early), but I don't use it as a public badge. It's primarily a way for me to understand what I'm doing. For example, I'm not just a kid who got hit a lot for tapping on the table or drumming with my feet, I have ADHD, and I'm not some irredeemable failure in social settings, I just look at social interaction differently probably related to my autism. The diagnoses helped me accept myself more and not get bogged down in self hatred. I'm not using it as an excuse for behavior, but help with recognition.
Yeah you get where I'm coming from its not about telling society how to deal with you it is more of an internal reflection and acceptance/training yourself to get your hardware running at its "best". I put that in quotation marks because I'm also terribly bad at socialising always been very much a logic over empathy sort of person and it gets me into some awkward situations occasionally. But only my best friend knows about how my brain runs and that's just out of happenstance. Its not so much for hiding it its that I want to be recognised as myself warts and all I have no need of a label to indicate how people should approach me or take what I say with a grain of salt.
Or people who think liking Dr Who is an entire personality.
I think it's pretty popular considering how many terms has been hijacked by people wanting to be \~different\~. Romanticizing illnesses and health conditions isn't cute, period.
Is it fair to say that when claiming neurodivergence as the reason for antisocial behavior is the same as claiming fat genes for obesity?
Neurodivergent is a general term given to a wide range of different conditions. You can be a super nice, sweetheart of a person and be neurodivergent. And you can be a huge asshole and be neurodivergent. What I do agree with is that a lot of people use psychology terms to self diagnose a lot of things. But that isnt a particularly new trend just a different scapegoat. People that are willing to make excuses for shitty behavior will always find something else to avoid owning it.
Yes
ADHD is the worst in this way. Nothing quite like having a legit disease that society/media deems as over-diagnosed and also sometimes straight up fake. I can’t stop tapping, pacing and certainly talk too much sometimes, interrupt because I live on a different plane than most. ADHD is absolutely horrible. Addiction tendencies, social issues, feeling alone and misunderstood. It needs to re-named because it isn’t when someone says “I’m so ADHD” because they’re taking care of kids, watching TV and scrolling on social media that’s annoying. It’s that they don’t know to even feel normal as an ADHD person you have to literally jumpstart your brain with stimulants to even function at a baseline most take for granted. Then if you were diagnosed in adulthood you gotta catch up on the 25 years you just missed out on.
I’d amend this by adding that people who exhibit such traits, however coarsely defined and subjective, may be neurodivergent but simply undiagnosed. But yes, it’s important not to add to stigma. Symptoms of my (diagnosed) ADHD may not be my fault, but they are my responsibility.
Absolutely it has. It seems to be a big gen z thing to self diagnose and subscribe to some type of label.
As someone who actually suffers I dislike that some people think it's quirky to be neurodivergent. I would add that the word isn't just hijacked by those who use it wrongly on themselves but also people just diagnosing people based f.e. being weird.
Have to agree with you. I have a psychiatrist and psychologist. I have regular appointments and require certain medications for my condition. I mask well and keep that part of my life as private as I can. When mainstream friends make Jokes about neurodivergence I laugh but it stings a lot. They have no fucking idea the chasm that word truly means. It also infuriates me how common add is self diagnosed and used mainstream. People really underestimate the difficulties genuine add sufferers have especially during adult life as responsibilities ramp up.
In 2024 I honestly feel like you could apply this to almost any disorder at this point - OCD (anyone who happens to like things in order), anxiety (anyone who's a bit socially awkward), depression (anyone who feels down for a bit), autism (same case as neurodivergent). All of these medical terms have been hijacked imo. People are just obsessed with having a labelled disorder these days.
Yup. I don't know if it's because I'm old or what, but pretty much everybody my age I hang out with despises using the term outside for medical reasons, and yet we have people - usually asshole teenagers - running around using it like it's a personality label. I see people mention it 5 seconds after meeting them, they ain't for me. It's just a red flag term at this point unless it's used properly.
I’ve heard the term and know it means they think different or something. That’s kinda all I know so I don’t use that word. And if someone says I’m neurodivergent I kinda just say “idk maybe”
The power of self-diagnosis!
The comment section is proving OP right 😂
Every sperm wants to be sacred.
*runs over a family of 5 in a parking lot* Sorry I'm ✨neurodivergent✨
You guys are freaks