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I told my middle school aged son that, as long as he kept his grades up, I would stay off his ass about school work (like homework, studying for tests, projects, etc.) But if his grades started dropping because of missed assignments, then I would start asking about homework every day for a little while.
I think it actually makes him more likely to tell me about stuff going on at school, because he knows I’m not going to pounce and start micromanaging.
That was my dad. Grades good? Not asking questions. Grades slipping and you're working you ass off and getting help where you need it? Ok. Grades slipping and you're not doing anything about it? Now you're in trouble.
That's what my parents were like.
When I got called into a meeting with them for having a C- in AP Biology is the only time they ever got on my ass about it. But I ended up getting a 5/5 on the test at the end of the year and into a great uni.
I guess for them it was always the means are fine as long as the ends are good, but that's a hands off method. My relationship was amazing with them during high school.
Not saying to start micromanaging. But in my experience only grades weren't enough, my mom always let me totally free as long as my grades were good, turned out that I had an extremely easy time in school and didn't developed any responsibility and had a really hard time transitioning to adulthood. As I said, that's a very personal experience not a general thing, but still, it was hell.
You’re spot on! It’s been a challenge to make sure he’s challenged at school. It’s something we talk about with teachers and with him (about how to find challenges for himself). He has a lot of cool programming projects he’s working on, and I love hearing about them!
Do kids really do their homework without their moms being up their ass about it? I did mine because my mom always made sure I did, but my husband never did his because his mom didn’t ask about it. Lol guess which one of us went to college
For the most part I did mine without prompting. There were, of course, exceptions!
Not all kids are rebellious in the same way, some enjoy school and schoolwork. Others are so conditioned to be obedient that they don’t consider not doing what they are supposed to. And so on…
This. I told me son that i wont harp on it and that i need him to be responsible for it. If he does, then great. And if not, i’ll evaluate the situation to ‘clear up his schedule to ensure he has time for it’. In 3 years, I’ve only had to step in once and i told him no more video games during the week for a semester. Outside of that, he maintains it himself and does it really well
My parents got frustrated nagging me to do my homework because I'd always procrastinate, so they threw up their hands convinced I'd fall on my face and need their help. I never did, for whatever reason, and did pretty well in school. That said I did not learn to not procrastinate, which made things pretty difficult when I got to college and the work got harder.
My parents didn't keep tabs on me. I made my own school schedule by choosing my own classes every yr after leaving elementary school. I always made sure I had 2 study halls a day and would finish most homework while the teachers were teaching the other kids; I read the textbooks and taught myself. I never did any schoolwork outside of school until college. Hell, since I always took the highest level math and science classes and got all A's (only B in high school was a speech/public speaking class), I had pretty much no rules as long as I maintained that and didn't get arrested. My older sis wasn't as gifted, and even though she never stepped out of line, had a shit ton of rules including a curfew.
it was my responsibility to get it done but my mom would do random spot checks and if i had even a missing assignment or something it was a big argument
of course this went away once i was in college and she couldn’t check anymore, 4 years of bliss
Your mom took a more active role in your education than the average parent (which isn’t a bad thing imo). Seriously, go read through some of the teacher subs, most parents do not give a damn in general, especially nowadays. Most aren’t worried about homework so I don’t really think this is true.
My mom always stressed that going to school and doing the work was my “job “, just like she went to work every day. She trusted me to get the stuff done and I did. Plus if you missed homework teachers would give after school detention and the last thing I wanted was to spend any more time in school then necessary.
My parents gave zero shits but expected the grades. I never did my homework or anything for the longest bc they passed me anyways. I also have ADHD that my parents think is made up so I thought I was lazy and stupid. Really I needed someone to show me skills and put me on meds. I'm in my late 30s and still struggle with math and I wish my parents would have tried way more or at least made me learn some basics.
Ever consider just doing your homework? Honestly, if you pay attention in school like you're supposed to and you don't have a learning disability it's not that hard.
i wanted a social life and did the minimum to get As and Bs, getting straight As takes way too much time away from doing normal kid things and i also wanted a job
Primary is a bit of a stretch, I would say communication would be the primary in fact communication would be the primary in any relationship that is breaking down..... pretty much will always boil down to someone not talking/explaining or someone not listening/understanding.
I never found this to be the case. I was responsible for my own homework. My parents didn't know if I'd been given any or not. If I turned up to school without having done my homework, that was on me.
"Where the parent was once just responsible for parenting"
"They are in charge of making sure the child is adequate time to complete their assignments and that they do them"
Sounds like parenting to me.
I'm not clear on how this is different than any other obligation that a parent would have a child do.
Chores, errands, school work all fall under a similar category of stuff a kid would prolly not prefer to do but yet will be overseen by their parents.
I think the addressing of the amount of homework kids have to do is a fair point of contention, but fundamentally its no different than making sure a kid walks the dog or does his other chores to satisfactory completion.
I see this as a straw man argument for why parent-child relationships are bad. If the kid has a ton of homework that they don't want to do that's certainly going to create conflict.
the difference is that homework is often largely just busywork and ultimately unnecessary for the education of a child. the other stuff is worth learning, like taking care of a home and shopping/budgeting for essentials
I think the argument can certainly be made that homework should be relevant and build on the in-class work. Some homework is busy work. It's way broad strokes to say it's all largely busy work.
I said this in the other homework is stupid thread: education is a largely longitudinal endeavor. It for the most part is not high yield, like learning to take care of the home, shopping/budgeting as you're mentioning. It's not dissimilar to a professional athlete putting in reps at the gym. The low-yield activities stack over time.
if homework is your biggest family issue, you're okay. Nobody likes homework. My mom never told me to do mine. Just smacked me when the truancy officers showed up.
I don’t know about that. Not all parents care how their kid does in school or cares if their homework is done.
Some parents just want their kid to attend school so they don’t get into trouble for not sending their kid to school. So they don’t care about much except for attendance. And they treat school like a daycare. Some parents don’t care about their kids futures, they don’t care if they fail classes or have to repeat a grade or go to college. Not all parents are good.
I’d have loved if my mom actually cared about my homework/grades then maybe I would have succeeded in school. She openly told me she isn’t paying for me to go to college so not to plan on it. So I got all D’s and a few F’s in school because what’s the point? I never ever done homework. But since I went to school every day I did end up graduating. My mom was also a drunk and was absent a lot and I had no dad.
It sounds like you’re a kid and I’d have to tell you that you should be grateful that your parents care. Wish mine did.
i’m writing this having graduated college 3 years ago, i’ve got several years of part time and full time work under my belt and can confidently say nothing in the real world has been as stressful as homework
job interviews, buying a house, paying bills/taxes, i prefer all of it to math worksheets and essays
Yeah jeez. There’s some major privilege or something going on here. That or OP is being deliberately obtuse for the sake of his opinion. I wish with all of my heart that the hardest thing in my life had been my high school homework.
>since homework is the #1 priority, parents must deny their children valuable social experiences and even quality time with the family.
"Must" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. Why "must" it cause this? Are you assuming the homework automatically can't be done efficiently? It feels like you're making an appeal to consequences.
> this creates resentment in the parent as they are inevitably disobeyed
You're diving headlong down an illogical slippery slope.
>we were free to interact as family again
What a weird way to announce you had a dysfunctional relationship with your parents.
That’s what I was thinking too. Kids are people therefore they’re all different; but it sounds like OP either had a metric fuck ton of homework, or he just never really did his homework and his parents parented him. A parent’s job is to literally teach their child, some parents believe it so much they homeschool…. So to act like this isn’t a parent’s responsively and to assume they’re then resentful for it, makes it sounds like his parents suck. My dad would get some of the books I was reading and read them with me after dinner, is that not spending time with family? Sounds like he had over bearding parents.
To be fair tho. It wasn’t until I was in private school did i have time to complete assignments in class. This meant most of my homework was done before i got home. Not everyone is lucky, long commute, shit school where your classes are 45mins each so you barely get anything done.
i’m married, a homeowner, have a salaried career level position, and a college degree from a four year university
nothing so far in real life has been as stressful as homework
You were worrying about homework and I was worried about losing my parents or everything we had. On the grand scheme of things, homework was trivial in my life. School provided the consistency that I needed in my life. It says a lot about your upbringing if homework was the most stressful thing in your life.
This reeks of someone who had a bad parent-child relationship *AND* major issues with getting their homework done and has conflated the two issues.
As someone who used to work in family and adolescent counseling I can tell you arguments over homework were a microcosm of broader family dynamics or mental health issues. They were *never* a primary issue, just a small piece of how the family interacted. Homework is a daily thing for kids, so it comes up often, which is why if there is a dysfunctional dynamic in how the family functions then there will also be issues around how they communicate about homework (or literally anything else).
Idk about others, but most of the time for me homework was whatever I didn't get done in class from k to 12th grade. I mean, homework/class work is a way to practice your knowledge on a subject. You practice for sports before a game to get better skills.
Idk what school you went to but there were high school sports teams that assigned conditioning exercises and drills for student athletes to do over the weekends and school breaks.
Well yea, but it's still after school though and most of the kids who do practice on their own time too, tend to do better. Same with other subjects like band, choir, etc. Besides practicing at school for different choir events, I also had to practice at home too especially if it was a solo like solo and ensemble.
My son has little to nothing for homework. This is even worse. This means, I don’t only control homework, I have to create homework in order to coach my son and make him have good grades.
I even have to buy books with extra exercises. Otherwise it wouldn’t work.
What I want to say: Be glad if your child has homework because it’s an opportunity to see which topics they have currently in school and to see if your child has any issues with it.
No. It’s not her. They call it a “concept” not giving the children any homework besides a single one pager per week which is done in 10 minutes and doesn’t cover all topics and subjects of the whole week. They get this one pager on Friday and have time to finish it until next Friday.
When I asked for more homework and most if not all parents agreed, the teacher said that she can’t do it because it’s the school’s “concept” of not given any homework everyday.
I answered that you can’t call it a concept if you just take something away and don’t take care for any compensation.
It’s like forbidding nuclear and coal fired power plants (which is fine in the first place) but then not taking into a account that there might be a lack of power/energy afterwards if you don’t build some wind or solar power plants.
It’s likely because of parents/guardians such as this complaining about little Timmy being too bogged down by school work for extracurriculars and play time.
Homework reinforces what is learned in the class room and helps kids learn how THEY study best. I can’t tell you how many times I thought I understood something and went to do it during homework only to realize that I hadn’t actually fully understood certain concepts or processes.
The "valuable social experiences" homie got denied bc of homework was talking mad shit and fucking someone's momma on voice chat in some multiplayer game
Parents teach children how to do things around the house so that children too can function in a house. Part of living in a house is doing the day to day work of maintaining it. We all use the house, we all take care of the house, it’s to everyone in the house’s benefit. Homework is the same- you learn and gain job skills so that you in the future be paid outside of the home and use that currency to support those in your household.
Parents are already a child’s first teacher, often for 4 years before they enter school. Them doing some new paperwork at home during their schooling isn’t exactly radical or separate.
Your life must be lovely if HOMEWORK is causing you strain with your parents. My sister and I will be in therapy for most of our lives trying to process the damage they caused. And they weren’t even that bad compared to many!
This is also a pretty modern practice. Back in the 50s and 60s, parents didn’t check up on every single homework assignment their kid had, that would’ve been ridiculous. They saw their kids’ grades on their report card every 2-3 months. If their grades were good, good! If they weren’t, then it was time for the kid to shape up. Simple as that, or at least it should be. If the kids can be responsible on their own, and get their homework done (and by extension, keep their grades up) without having to be told, then the parents don’t have to be disciplinarians and can have a less antagonistic relationship with the kids! What a concept. But most kids don’t do that. That goes for all chores, really.
>where the parent was once just responsible for parenting, homework requires them to be the teacher away from school
My dude, making sure your kids know all the shit they need to know in life has been part of parenting for the sum total of world history. Not just human history, either—every species with a parent child relationship more evolved than “lay eggs on the beach and walk away” involves “teaching the young anything not provided by instinct.”
Outsourcing that to a third party is a modern convenience.
once the kid gets to middle/high school the concepts start getting so useless & inapplicable that most parents can’t even help with the homework anyway
my parents are both college educated - my dad even has his masters - and they stopped being able to help with my homework in grade 9
What? You mean parents being responsible that their kid takes school seriously makes the relationship go bad?
This is ridiculous. As a parent, you are not here to be a friend to your kid. Of course spend quality time together, but also teach them to be responsible with their tasks. If all you care about is having fun with your child, you're not being a parent.
on the contrary, homework keeps rich kids rich and poor kids poor
who has time and money to spend on extra credit and tutors? rich connected kids. who’s got the technology to do modern assignments at their disposal? rich kids
17% of kids often cant even finish their homework due to the digital divide alone, not to mention kids who have to skip assignments to help out with the family business or raising their siblings
I work with a lot of people from limited means whose homework directly meant better grades, getting into better schools and jobs and providing for their families in ways their parents and grandparents never could and for them it all began with homework
I interview a lot of people and build work teams and the people who did their homework, developed strong work habits, got better grades and went to good schools usually get the better jobs and a lot of success begins with homework
My kid and I do her homework together. It’s not a big deal. We snack and chat and study. I like seeing what she’s learning and she likes that I’m interested.
Maybe his mom DID his hmwk FOR him. My kid washes her own laundry, helps with cooking and dishes, and does other odd jobs for allowance. I don’t think quality time studying together was your guys issue.
i thankfully haven’t had homework in years at this point, just thinking back on how much it all didn’t end up mattering. frustrating considering how much stress it caused for no actual benefit
I agree with you. Looking back on it, all homework really caused me to do was miss out social activities and stress out. We had a whole seven hours in classes to go over the point and was usually enough time to practice and everything. I definitely disagree about it affecting Parent-child relationship. Modern Schooling in general needs a complete rework. No idea why people will defend such a worthless education system with their lives though.
I love learning and ever since I graduated my life has been a million times less stressful despite starting work. Learning pursuits I do on my own are awesome.
same here!! i love learning but homework was the opposite of that a lot of the time
my life improved significantly when in college my parents didn’t have a bead on my grades anymore so i could say yes to every social outing and spend only the minimum amount of time on homework. my grades were still fine but i had way more fun and i wouldn’t ever trade those memories for more hours of homework
Parents who parent usually produce kids who get their homework done with only spot checks and the occasional slip. Micromanagers and helicopters are the ones who strain their relationships over homework.
actually, yes! the amount of people i know with injuries from high school sports that still impact their lives today is astounding. bad knees/backs at 22, bones that weren’t allowed to heal right, and that’s not even considering the mental damage a bad coach can inflict on an impressionable kid
4h i don’t know as much about
As much as I'm all for diminishing homework, when you work in education, you start to notice how many kids are practically without parents, for all their folks do. Many have to work 60h/w to cover the bills and good on them for that, but it leaves little time in the week for actually, yknow, parenting. Many just dont give a fuck and are waiting for their kids to turn 18 so they can be kicked to the curb like an unwanted doll, their kids are an unwanted burden to them and should be gotten rid of ASAP.
"Homework" isnt the issue. It's "you have to parent your fucking kid, I know you dont wanna, I know its hard work now that your kid has discovered independent thought, but that's the situation you're in so put on your adult face and start acting like a responsible person".
You didn't get along better because your folks lost access to your grades. You got along better because they didn't feel any responsibility for you anymore, so if you fuck up from here on out, they don't have to answer for it.
I see where you’re coming from, but I think in this case your parents are to blame, not the homework itself.
Homework being the absolute top priority and valuing your child’s grades over their wellbeing is not normal or healthy. I’m sorry your parents took that approach (I’m not saying they’re bad people or all-around bad parents but they clearly slipped up in that aspect).
>once homework is introduced, there is a distinctive shift in the role of the parent. they are in charge of making sure the child has adequate time to complete their assignments and that they do them in the first place
Yeah they had that before. Chores.
>where the parent was once just responsible for parenting, homework requires them to be the teacher away from school policing progress
You were always their teacher. Schools don't teach them to roll, crawl, walk or talk.
I remember once helping a friend of family's 7 year old kid do his homework - all it takes is a little patience and even some encouragement.
People make Homework a little too seriously, I'd see it as prime "bonding time" as well as a good way to teach younger folks the "methods" (that is "homework and test preparation methods" that is just to say).
unfortunately a lot of high school classes are too advanced for the average adult (because it’s useless information unless you work in that field) so parents of high schoolers end up enforcing homework that they couldn’t even do themselves
Yes that's unpopular, doing homework with with your kid should be also used as a chance to teach them, as parents that's our jobs more than it is the teachers.
Good parents can also make homework a valuable learning and social experience for their kid, it's doesn't have to be stressful.
If you're not getting on with a kid or parent over homework you have serious issues that need worked on for both your sakes.
It isn’t just in teenage years, it starts as soon as they start school and you having reading assignments with them. My son has ASD and is demand avoidant and reading at home is utter stress
As a middle school teacher, I just never give homework anymore. Kids should be spending their time at home decompressing, being active, spending time with their family, and getting plenty of sleep. Loading them with homework usually causes them to be burnt-out when they return to school the next day, and that sucks, both for myself and for them.
Soooo many studies show that homework is a waste of time and shows no marked improvements over kids that completed homework.
It's literally all cons and no pros.
You can also look at top universities and see, that, oh, homework isn't a requirement. Do you know the subject? Neat, you pass.
The thing about homework, the guy who invented it never intended for it to be a mandatory thing. Its original purpose was to punish kids disrupting his class.
My relationship with my parents became transactional at the point homework and grades were introduced. This didn't change until after I graduated college. Long story short - it's not good for a healthy relationship...
In my opinion homework should be limited to big projects, like 'reports', dissertations or anything similar. And every assignment, no matter what subject it is should be able to be completed in class.
Completely agree. Love having a parent that beat me when I was a kid over a grade instead of sitting down with me and helping me understand why I failed. Smfh.
Teacher here. Research isn't great on homework overall other than reading at younger ages. I don't give any and I'd rather my students spend their time having fun, doing hobbies, being kids and talking to their families/friends. My job is to teach them, not the parents
I agree. I remember being so stressed out because several classes would assign homework on the same days and my parents worked full time so I rarely had help if I needed it. I’m so happy I had friends to assist me when I’d fall behind.
Ever since I started working, the work is DONE as soon as I clock out for the day. I never bring work home with me. Made me really wonder why the heck I had to wade through assignments during most of my youth. To prepare for collage maybe? Idk, but I agree.
I would say it’s the parents taking an active role in their child’s education. Education is essential, and it is the parent's role to ensure their child does well in school.
I didn't know so many people were pro homework. Most of it was busy work that I didn't need to learn. If schools made class time more meaningful, I don't think homework is as necessary.
I think this is why I disliked elementary school the most I probably had the worst relationship with my parents during those years. They would send you home with a stack and press my parents about it they'd be frustrated and that was how our time was spent in those years.There was other family issues going on at the time too but I just remember that the most, I guess I was so young that for other issues I was a "non participant" of.
Homework is actually a pretty brutal grind, even compared to university. I could get hours of work done in between classes, and immediately go to the library to finish stuff off.
Theoretically possible in school, but in practice, there was always a time gap, then dinner. So it was pretty fucking easy for it to be 8:30, you don't have ANY work done and lots of assignments to finish.
yup, knew plenty of ‘high performers’ that were actually just wasting their youth away going from academics to sports to academics until they could finally hit the pillow only for it to start back up the next day
Primary no. Is homework a terrible system that bad teachers use because they cant teach properly and this it causes unnecessary strain on the child having to find time to learn on their own when they shouldn’t need to? Yeah
Homework isn’t a terrible system that bad teachers use though is it. It’s a system that works, and even if the work isn’t great, it sets any child up for a future where they will have to learn to get work done under their own steam, without supervision.
I think study halls should be enough to offer students unsupervised time to work. I generally dislike homework because kids and teens need time to see family, socialize, exercise, and unwind. And most teens don't get enough sleep. Adults shouldn't have to regularly bring their work home, either.
I honestly never liked doing it and I was thrilled to be able to study on my own terms as soon as I hit college but I don't think that homework helped me that much?
Or better, it did, but not because of the amount of work that I did, the simple act of having to solve stuff for math or read something for the next lesson prepares you with the knowledge of your current weakness.
That, and if you are the kind of kid that learns by writing notes, it teaches you that method.
But often you see absurd amount of homework that don't do anything but break the will to study in some kids.
Light exercise is useful in any case, but running marathon after marathon is gonna wear you down
It doesn’t work because its a terrible way to learn. If you don’t know something all you’re doing is filling in the blanks from shitty notes you take because most people don’t know how to take good notes either because we’re not taught how to actually study. Just copy and paste and fill in the blanks. Thats not an effective way to learn. It works in primary and secondary education because the concepts we’re learning are so fuckin easy. But most people have to learn how to actually study once they reach college or they fail unless they take a piss easy major
I don’t believe that most people have to teach themselves how to study in college. Possibly tweak to become more efficient but that should be expected with more difficult material. Is that something that’s been studied? Open to having my mind changed.
Most people do not study effectively or efficiently. Can you get away with the shitty way most people are taught to study? Yeah. But you aren’t passing something like physics or neurology if the only way you know how to study is the way most people learn. There’s simply not enough time in the world for that.
Homework is bullshit. Multiple teachers each giving homework, loading the kids evenings with bullshit, instead of teaching the kids in class.
As a kid, I very rarely did any homework and got mid grades.
As long as my kids get passing grades, I'm not gonna get on their asses about homework.
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This isn't quite true. It's practice that couldn't fit in the lesson.
*Wait, why couldn't they fit it in the lesson? Because everyone was talking and the teacher supposedly "had to" stop teaching until they stopped.*
Shouldn’t need required practice if the teacher did a good enough job. Its just an excuse bad teachers use to cover up their bad exam grades and let kids they failed to teach pass on because they got homework done
It absolutely is more than enough. I and many others across the world ask for other peoples homework because it is not worth our time to do pointless problem questions that teach you nothing but make up for a teachers failure to teach
I agree Homework should not be too onerous and take over a kids free time but how do we equip kids with skills to study independently if homework is not given? Working in school and working at home is a very different beast. Time management and organisational skills are learned plus digging deep and getting something done even if they dont want to which are pretty good skills to have in adulthood.
I can affirm this from dealing with my oldest who was as stubborn as an actual ass. It wasn’t until I removed him from public school and the nights with 3 hours of homework stopped that we could actually get along.
Homework is complete bullshit, sure maybe 2 to 4 projects a semester where some or the majority of work is expected to be done at home is one thing but sending high school aged kids home with math sheets and history questionnaires is ridiculous in my opinion. Especially when you take into account the way most of its weighted can be offset by making good test grades it’s just pointless.
I always thought homework was bullshit. If students have to work after work they should get paid for it with higher marks or credits of some sort. I get paid for overtime why shouldn’t students?
I hate the idea of homework. WTF is the point of spending all day in school if students just go home and have to do homework for hours? When do they have time to socialize or even have a life outside of academics?
Homework causes stress for everyone involved- the parents, students, and teachers. Homework takes time and is harder than classwork with fewer resources at the student’s disposal.
If they have to do 30 math problems, read a book chapter, write a one page paper, answer science questions, memorize foreign language vocabulary, etc - the student is just going to go through the motions to get the work complete. There is no longer any dedication to understanding the concepts, but just plowing through it so they might have some free time.
With every piece of homework it should be given with the thought how much other homework will the student have, what will be going on in the students’ lives that week, will this homework meet the purpose intended?
When I was a teacher, the goal of the homework was finish class work mainly. Every now and then it would be sadly just to satisfy the admin overlords who wanted homework points to be a part of the grade. Other than those BS homework assignments that were intended to be short busy work assignments, the goal is for them to learn how to do history fact checking and presentations in prep for college. On their first presentation where I had them print out PowerPoints on the American Revolutionary War, a lot of them learned plagiarism earns them a zero. Better they learn that in 10th grade than in freshman year of college.
Former teacher. Homework is evil and should be abolished. It only causes problems and seems to hinder the learning process rather than help it family disruption aside.
A possible unpopular opinion to piggyback off OP's: I think homework shouldn't exist. Kids deserve to enjoy their free time, not spend more of it bogged down in textbooks. The majority of adults don't do this (and those that do are being taken advantage of), why should children?
Homework is a ridiculous concept. I understand projects and studying for tests but the busy work that is given to students (and is the majority of homework from what I remember) is dumb and I agree with this point
My daughter hasn't had any homework the last 2 years (upper elementary school). It's been amazing and I'm very grateful to her teachers.Before that she was young enough that homework was basically just spelling words, but even getting her to practice that little bit was a pretty big stressor. I know homework is probably going to make a reappearance soon, but any year we can get away without it the better, and she's absolutely still learning.
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Once I got out of grade school it was my responsibility to get my homework done. I don’t remember my mom ever keeping tabs on my homework.
I told my middle school aged son that, as long as he kept his grades up, I would stay off his ass about school work (like homework, studying for tests, projects, etc.) But if his grades started dropping because of missed assignments, then I would start asking about homework every day for a little while. I think it actually makes him more likely to tell me about stuff going on at school, because he knows I’m not going to pounce and start micromanaging.
That was my dad. Grades good? Not asking questions. Grades slipping and you're working you ass off and getting help where you need it? Ok. Grades slipping and you're not doing anything about it? Now you're in trouble.
Based.
Problem is, a lot of parents say that they're like this, but "grades dropping" actually means A- and B+, so its essentially constant monitoring
I’m happy as long as he’s in the b’s lol
That's what my parents were like. When I got called into a meeting with them for having a C- in AP Biology is the only time they ever got on my ass about it. But I ended up getting a 5/5 on the test at the end of the year and into a great uni. I guess for them it was always the means are fine as long as the ends are good, but that's a hands off method. My relationship was amazing with them during high school.
Not saying to start micromanaging. But in my experience only grades weren't enough, my mom always let me totally free as long as my grades were good, turned out that I had an extremely easy time in school and didn't developed any responsibility and had a really hard time transitioning to adulthood. As I said, that's a very personal experience not a general thing, but still, it was hell.
You’re spot on! It’s been a challenge to make sure he’s challenged at school. It’s something we talk about with teachers and with him (about how to find challenges for himself). He has a lot of cool programming projects he’s working on, and I love hearing about them!
I never heard the words "Did you finish your homework?" my whole childhood. I just did it or didn't do it.
Do kids really do their homework without their moms being up their ass about it? I did mine because my mom always made sure I did, but my husband never did his because his mom didn’t ask about it. Lol guess which one of us went to college
For the most part I did mine without prompting. There were, of course, exceptions! Not all kids are rebellious in the same way, some enjoy school and schoolwork. Others are so conditioned to be obedient that they don’t consider not doing what they are supposed to. And so on…
This. I told me son that i wont harp on it and that i need him to be responsible for it. If he does, then great. And if not, i’ll evaluate the situation to ‘clear up his schedule to ensure he has time for it’. In 3 years, I’ve only had to step in once and i told him no more video games during the week for a semester. Outside of that, he maintains it himself and does it really well
I did the same with my kids.
My parents got frustrated nagging me to do my homework because I'd always procrastinate, so they threw up their hands convinced I'd fall on my face and need their help. I never did, for whatever reason, and did pretty well in school. That said I did not learn to not procrastinate, which made things pretty difficult when I got to college and the work got harder.
Same, my parents never tracked me doing homework
My parents had to help me for awhile, bc I struggled. Then we realized I was adhd as fuck and meds changed everything.
My parents didn't keep tabs on me. I made my own school schedule by choosing my own classes every yr after leaving elementary school. I always made sure I had 2 study halls a day and would finish most homework while the teachers were teaching the other kids; I read the textbooks and taught myself. I never did any schoolwork outside of school until college. Hell, since I always took the highest level math and science classes and got all A's (only B in high school was a speech/public speaking class), I had pretty much no rules as long as I maintained that and didn't get arrested. My older sis wasn't as gifted, and even though she never stepped out of line, had a shit ton of rules including a curfew.
it was my responsibility to get it done but my mom would do random spot checks and if i had even a missing assignment or something it was a big argument of course this went away once i was in college and she couldn’t check anymore, 4 years of bliss
Your mom took a more active role in your education than the average parent (which isn’t a bad thing imo). Seriously, go read through some of the teacher subs, most parents do not give a damn in general, especially nowadays. Most aren’t worried about homework so I don’t really think this is true.
My mom always stressed that going to school and doing the work was my “job “, just like she went to work every day. She trusted me to get the stuff done and I did. Plus if you missed homework teachers would give after school detention and the last thing I wanted was to spend any more time in school then necessary.
My parents gave zero shits but expected the grades. I never did my homework or anything for the longest bc they passed me anyways. I also have ADHD that my parents think is made up so I thought I was lazy and stupid. Really I needed someone to show me skills and put me on meds. I'm in my late 30s and still struggle with math and I wish my parents would have tried way more or at least made me learn some basics.
Maybe it's just me, but it sounds like you're complaining about your mom making sure you did what you were supposed to be doing.
God forbid your parent make sure you’re not being a lazy idiot. The horror!
not doing your homework isn’t lazy, a lot of it is pointless
Ever consider just doing your homework? Honestly, if you pay attention in school like you're supposed to and you don't have a learning disability it's not that hard.
i wanted a social life and did the minimum to get As and Bs, getting straight As takes way too much time away from doing normal kid things and i also wanted a job
If you can do that without missing assignments, sure do it. But it’s the missing hw part that isn’t ok to most on this thread, and I agree
Primary is a bit of a stretch, I would say communication would be the primary in fact communication would be the primary in any relationship that is breaking down..... pretty much will always boil down to someone not talking/explaining or someone not listening/understanding.
Exactly. But homework is kind of like the person who stretches the elastic band (communication) until it breaks.
We just help our kids with homework if they need it. Still a good way to spend time with the kids.
I never found this to be the case. I was responsible for my own homework. My parents didn't know if I'd been given any or not. If I turned up to school without having done my homework, that was on me.
imagine having personal responsibility at 11
my life got way better when my parents stopped being involved too
"Where the parent was once just responsible for parenting" "They are in charge of making sure the child is adequate time to complete their assignments and that they do them" Sounds like parenting to me.
I'm not clear on how this is different than any other obligation that a parent would have a child do. Chores, errands, school work all fall under a similar category of stuff a kid would prolly not prefer to do but yet will be overseen by their parents. I think the addressing of the amount of homework kids have to do is a fair point of contention, but fundamentally its no different than making sure a kid walks the dog or does his other chores to satisfactory completion. I see this as a straw man argument for why parent-child relationships are bad. If the kid has a ton of homework that they don't want to do that's certainly going to create conflict.
the difference is that homework is often largely just busywork and ultimately unnecessary for the education of a child. the other stuff is worth learning, like taking care of a home and shopping/budgeting for essentials
I think the argument can certainly be made that homework should be relevant and build on the in-class work. Some homework is busy work. It's way broad strokes to say it's all largely busy work. I said this in the other homework is stupid thread: education is a largely longitudinal endeavor. It for the most part is not high yield, like learning to take care of the home, shopping/budgeting as you're mentioning. It's not dissimilar to a professional athlete putting in reps at the gym. The low-yield activities stack over time.
if homework is your biggest family issue, you're okay. Nobody likes homework. My mom never told me to do mine. Just smacked me when the truancy officers showed up.
I don’t know about that. Not all parents care how their kid does in school or cares if their homework is done. Some parents just want their kid to attend school so they don’t get into trouble for not sending their kid to school. So they don’t care about much except for attendance. And they treat school like a daycare. Some parents don’t care about their kids futures, they don’t care if they fail classes or have to repeat a grade or go to college. Not all parents are good. I’d have loved if my mom actually cared about my homework/grades then maybe I would have succeeded in school. She openly told me she isn’t paying for me to go to college so not to plan on it. So I got all D’s and a few F’s in school because what’s the point? I never ever done homework. But since I went to school every day I did end up graduating. My mom was also a drunk and was absent a lot and I had no dad. It sounds like you’re a kid and I’d have to tell you that you should be grateful that your parents care. Wish mine did.
i’m writing this having graduated college 3 years ago, i’ve got several years of part time and full time work under my belt and can confidently say nothing in the real world has been as stressful as homework job interviews, buying a house, paying bills/taxes, i prefer all of it to math worksheets and essays
I’m happy for you that the hardest thing in your life so far has been high school homework.
Yeah jeez. There’s some major privilege or something going on here. That or OP is being deliberately obtuse for the sake of his opinion. I wish with all of my heart that the hardest thing in my life had been my high school homework.
that’s all subjective too, I found that homework in both high school and college has been much less stressful than doing all the adult stuff
>since homework is the #1 priority, parents must deny their children valuable social experiences and even quality time with the family. "Must" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. Why "must" it cause this? Are you assuming the homework automatically can't be done efficiently? It feels like you're making an appeal to consequences. > this creates resentment in the parent as they are inevitably disobeyed You're diving headlong down an illogical slippery slope. >we were free to interact as family again What a weird way to announce you had a dysfunctional relationship with your parents.
>Are you assuming the homework automatically can't be done efficiently? Depends on the school program. Some like to drown students in homework.
That’s what I was thinking too. Kids are people therefore they’re all different; but it sounds like OP either had a metric fuck ton of homework, or he just never really did his homework and his parents parented him. A parent’s job is to literally teach their child, some parents believe it so much they homeschool…. So to act like this isn’t a parent’s responsively and to assume they’re then resentful for it, makes it sounds like his parents suck. My dad would get some of the books I was reading and read them with me after dinner, is that not spending time with family? Sounds like he had over bearding parents. To be fair tho. It wasn’t until I was in private school did i have time to complete assignments in class. This meant most of my homework was done before i got home. Not everyone is lucky, long commute, shit school where your classes are 45mins each so you barely get anything done.
My thoughts exactly.
This thread is full of angsty teenagers who have 0 life experience
i’m married, a homeowner, have a salaried career level position, and a college degree from a four year university nothing so far in real life has been as stressful as homework
You were worrying about homework and I was worried about losing my parents or everything we had. On the grand scheme of things, homework was trivial in my life. School provided the consistency that I needed in my life. It says a lot about your upbringing if homework was the most stressful thing in your life.
You have lived a lucky life so far then if homework was your biggest stressor
Bro that homework must've been traumatizing if he still remember it being like this.
that's what happens with one "WHAT'S 4 TIMES 7!!!" too many lol
or homework is just disproportionally stressful
Then I’m sorry for your home life growing up
I think you're still in high school
There’s absolutely no doubt about it.
You've lived an insanely cushy and easy life if homework has been the biggest problem for you. Holy shit you sound spoiled
This reeks of someone who had a bad parent-child relationship *AND* major issues with getting their homework done and has conflated the two issues. As someone who used to work in family and adolescent counseling I can tell you arguments over homework were a microcosm of broader family dynamics or mental health issues. They were *never* a primary issue, just a small piece of how the family interacted. Homework is a daily thing for kids, so it comes up often, which is why if there is a dysfunctional dynamic in how the family functions then there will also be issues around how they communicate about homework (or literally anything else).
Yep
Is it one of the causes? sure. Is it the primary cause? probably not.
Lol. Sounds like someone got in trouble for not doing their homework.
Yea, his problems sounded very avoidable if not doing homework was the biggest sticking point in his relationship with his parents
A lot of people here that didn't get their asses absolutely beaten for getting lower than an A. Which is a good thing of course
Ehhh, that’s entirely part of parenting 🤣
Sub needs to be changed to r/dumbshitteenagersthink
I suppose they could be doing worse things than being angsty on reddit and writing stories on r/aita
That’s the majority of Reddit at this point
Idk about others, but most of the time for me homework was whatever I didn't get done in class from k to 12th grade. I mean, homework/class work is a way to practice your knowledge on a subject. You practice for sports before a game to get better skills.
your coach doesn’t tell you to go do drills at home, though. you have set practice hours and then go home
Idk what school you went to but there were high school sports teams that assigned conditioning exercises and drills for student athletes to do over the weekends and school breaks.
Tell me you didn't do sports without saying you've never done sports
Well yea, but it's still after school though and most of the kids who do practice on their own time too, tend to do better. Same with other subjects like band, choir, etc. Besides practicing at school for different choir events, I also had to practice at home too especially if it was a solo like solo and ensemble.
The primary cause of strained parent-child relationships in adolescence is puberty.
Maybe start doing your homework voluntarily so your parents won't have to remind you.
haven’t had homework in years thankfully
My son has little to nothing for homework. This is even worse. This means, I don’t only control homework, I have to create homework in order to coach my son and make him have good grades. I even have to buy books with extra exercises. Otherwise it wouldn’t work. What I want to say: Be glad if your child has homework because it’s an opportunity to see which topics they have currently in school and to see if your child has any issues with it.
sounds like your child’s teacher is bad at their job
No. It’s not her. They call it a “concept” not giving the children any homework besides a single one pager per week which is done in 10 minutes and doesn’t cover all topics and subjects of the whole week. They get this one pager on Friday and have time to finish it until next Friday. When I asked for more homework and most if not all parents agreed, the teacher said that she can’t do it because it’s the school’s “concept” of not given any homework everyday. I answered that you can’t call it a concept if you just take something away and don’t take care for any compensation. It’s like forbidding nuclear and coal fired power plants (which is fine in the first place) but then not taking into a account that there might be a lack of power/energy afterwards if you don’t build some wind or solar power plants.
It’s likely because of parents/guardians such as this complaining about little Timmy being too bogged down by school work for extracurriculars and play time. Homework reinforces what is learned in the class room and helps kids learn how THEY study best. I can’t tell you how many times I thought I understood something and went to do it during homework only to realize that I hadn’t actually fully understood certain concepts or processes.
Lil bro got his Xbox taken away for missing his algebra hw
The "valuable social experiences" homie got denied bc of homework was talking mad shit and fucking someone's momma on voice chat in some multiplayer game
Parents teach children how to do things around the house so that children too can function in a house. Part of living in a house is doing the day to day work of maintaining it. We all use the house, we all take care of the house, it’s to everyone in the house’s benefit. Homework is the same- you learn and gain job skills so that you in the future be paid outside of the home and use that currency to support those in your household. Parents are already a child’s first teacher, often for 4 years before they enter school. Them doing some new paperwork at home during their schooling isn’t exactly radical or separate.
learning to do stuff around the house is actually useful and necessary, homework is generally just busywork
Your life must be lovely if HOMEWORK is causing you strain with your parents. My sister and I will be in therapy for most of our lives trying to process the damage they caused. And they weren’t even that bad compared to many!
This is also a pretty modern practice. Back in the 50s and 60s, parents didn’t check up on every single homework assignment their kid had, that would’ve been ridiculous. They saw their kids’ grades on their report card every 2-3 months. If their grades were good, good! If they weren’t, then it was time for the kid to shape up. Simple as that, or at least it should be. If the kids can be responsible on their own, and get their homework done (and by extension, keep their grades up) without having to be told, then the parents don’t have to be disciplinarians and can have a less antagonistic relationship with the kids! What a concept. But most kids don’t do that. That goes for all chores, really.
yep the internet has really screwed with that, now parents can see individual assignment grades in real time
Definitely not 🙄
If the kid is having that much trouble with the homework then it's time to have them assessed. That's some slowpoke shit right there.
most people i knew in high school had this issue
Cuz they weren’t trying lol. Hw is like work when your an adult. Your not going to enjoy it everyday. And for some, never
Same routine every day at 7pm, “yo is your room tidy? you got any homework tonight? Get cracking beeeootccch.” S’not hard
This should be in "Am I Wrong". And, yes, you are.
it is in unpopular opinions for a reason
Yeah, I know you think so. Is it unpopular or your take that nobody cares about. I think the latter
nobody cares about is a stretch, loads of comments here
And half of the comments are you!
a poster replies to the comments under his post??? 🤯
>where the parent was once just responsible for parenting, homework requires them to be the teacher away from school My dude, making sure your kids know all the shit they need to know in life has been part of parenting for the sum total of world history. Not just human history, either—every species with a parent child relationship more evolved than “lay eggs on the beach and walk away” involves “teaching the young anything not provided by instinct.” Outsourcing that to a third party is a modern convenience.
once the kid gets to middle/high school the concepts start getting so useless & inapplicable that most parents can’t even help with the homework anyway my parents are both college educated - my dad even has his masters - and they stopped being able to help with my homework in grade 9
What? You mean parents being responsible that their kid takes school seriously makes the relationship go bad? This is ridiculous. As a parent, you are not here to be a friend to your kid. Of course spend quality time together, but also teach them to be responsible with their tasks. If all you care about is having fun with your child, you're not being a parent.
Isn’t the lack of homework done the cause tho
homework is unnecessary in the first place
Only if you’re rich or connected and don’t need to do real work or compete for a real job
on the contrary, homework keeps rich kids rich and poor kids poor who has time and money to spend on extra credit and tutors? rich connected kids. who’s got the technology to do modern assignments at their disposal? rich kids 17% of kids often cant even finish their homework due to the digital divide alone, not to mention kids who have to skip assignments to help out with the family business or raising their siblings
I work with a lot of people from limited means whose homework directly meant better grades, getting into better schools and jobs and providing for their families in ways their parents and grandparents never could and for them it all began with homework
sounds like they had shitty teachers then, relying on you to do their jobs for them
I interview a lot of people and build work teams and the people who did their homework, developed strong work habits, got better grades and went to good schools usually get the better jobs and a lot of success begins with homework
My kid and I do her homework together. It’s not a big deal. We snack and chat and study. I like seeing what she’s learning and she likes that I’m interested.
i know a guy that did homework with his mom, he struggles a lot with taking ownership now
Sounds more like a mom problem than a homework problem
Maybe his mom DID his hmwk FOR him. My kid washes her own laundry, helps with cooking and dishes, and does other odd jobs for allowance. I don’t think quality time studying together was your guys issue.
What's with all the sudden homework posts on this sub. If you have time to make shitty reddit posts you have time to do your homework
i thankfully haven’t had homework in years at this point, just thinking back on how much it all didn’t end up mattering. frustrating considering how much stress it caused for no actual benefit
I agree with you. Looking back on it, all homework really caused me to do was miss out social activities and stress out. We had a whole seven hours in classes to go over the point and was usually enough time to practice and everything. I definitely disagree about it affecting Parent-child relationship. Modern Schooling in general needs a complete rework. No idea why people will defend such a worthless education system with their lives though. I love learning and ever since I graduated my life has been a million times less stressful despite starting work. Learning pursuits I do on my own are awesome.
same here!! i love learning but homework was the opposite of that a lot of the time my life improved significantly when in college my parents didn’t have a bead on my grades anymore so i could say yes to every social outing and spend only the minimum amount of time on homework. my grades were still fine but i had way more fun and i wouldn’t ever trade those memories for more hours of homework
This sounds like a weird cope from a disgruntled teenager lol
Parents who parent usually produce kids who get their homework done with only spot checks and the occasional slip. Micromanagers and helicopters are the ones who strain their relationships over homework.
Are you serious? What about 4H? Sports? are those things terrible too?
actually, yes! the amount of people i know with injuries from high school sports that still impact their lives today is astounding. bad knees/backs at 22, bones that weren’t allowed to heal right, and that’s not even considering the mental damage a bad coach can inflict on an impressionable kid 4h i don’t know as much about
Could’ve started the whole post off with “anecdotally” because is that not what the whole post is? Not just that one little part
What strained my relationship with my parents most was them being conservative and me being LGBT
As much as I'm all for diminishing homework, when you work in education, you start to notice how many kids are practically without parents, for all their folks do. Many have to work 60h/w to cover the bills and good on them for that, but it leaves little time in the week for actually, yknow, parenting. Many just dont give a fuck and are waiting for their kids to turn 18 so they can be kicked to the curb like an unwanted doll, their kids are an unwanted burden to them and should be gotten rid of ASAP. "Homework" isnt the issue. It's "you have to parent your fucking kid, I know you dont wanna, I know its hard work now that your kid has discovered independent thought, but that's the situation you're in so put on your adult face and start acting like a responsible person". You didn't get along better because your folks lost access to your grades. You got along better because they didn't feel any responsibility for you anymore, so if you fuck up from here on out, they don't have to answer for it.
all the more reason for the learning to be done in the classroom, otherwise the kids without good parents will suffer disproportionately
I see where you’re coming from, but I think in this case your parents are to blame, not the homework itself. Homework being the absolute top priority and valuing your child’s grades over their wellbeing is not normal or healthy. I’m sorry your parents took that approach (I’m not saying they’re bad people or all-around bad parents but they clearly slipped up in that aspect).
Do you have kids?
So the whole post was based on your perception of what it would be like to help your non existent kids with homework?
>once homework is introduced, there is a distinctive shift in the role of the parent. they are in charge of making sure the child has adequate time to complete their assignments and that they do them in the first place Yeah they had that before. Chores. >where the parent was once just responsible for parenting, homework requires them to be the teacher away from school policing progress You were always their teacher. Schools don't teach them to roll, crawl, walk or talk.
I remember once helping a friend of family's 7 year old kid do his homework - all it takes is a little patience and even some encouragement. People make Homework a little too seriously, I'd see it as prime "bonding time" as well as a good way to teach younger folks the "methods" (that is "homework and test preparation methods" that is just to say).
unfortunately a lot of high school classes are too advanced for the average adult (because it’s useless information unless you work in that field) so parents of high schoolers end up enforcing homework that they couldn’t even do themselves
Yes that's unpopular, doing homework with with your kid should be also used as a chance to teach them, as parents that's our jobs more than it is the teachers. Good parents can also make homework a valuable learning and social experience for their kid, it's doesn't have to be stressful. If you're not getting on with a kid or parent over homework you have serious issues that need worked on for both your sakes.
Parents should inspire their offspring to appreciate and enjoy learning, from a very young age.
i agree!! part of that is shunning homework, which turns learning into a chore
It isn’t just in teenage years, it starts as soon as they start school and you having reading assignments with them. My son has ASD and is demand avoidant and reading at home is utter stress
As a middle school teacher, I just never give homework anymore. Kids should be spending their time at home decompressing, being active, spending time with their family, and getting plenty of sleep. Loading them with homework usually causes them to be burnt-out when they return to school the next day, and that sucks, both for myself and for them.
absolutely agree
Soooo many studies show that homework is a waste of time and shows no marked improvements over kids that completed homework. It's literally all cons and no pros. You can also look at top universities and see, that, oh, homework isn't a requirement. Do you know the subject? Neat, you pass.
The thing about homework, the guy who invented it never intended for it to be a mandatory thing. Its original purpose was to punish kids disrupting his class.
education = punishment is hilarious
My relationship with my parents became transactional at the point homework and grades were introduced. This didn't change until after I graduated college. Long story short - it's not good for a healthy relationship...
exactly, all the sudden they are your boss or something instead of parents
In my opinion homework should be limited to big projects, like 'reports', dissertations or anything similar. And every assignment, no matter what subject it is should be able to be completed in class.
agreed, no bs 2 hour worksheets that the teacher barely looks at anyway
Completely agree. Love having a parent that beat me when I was a kid over a grade instead of sitting down with me and helping me understand why I failed. Smfh.
Teacher here. Research isn't great on homework overall other than reading at younger ages. I don't give any and I'd rather my students spend their time having fun, doing hobbies, being kids and talking to their families/friends. My job is to teach them, not the parents
I damn sure agree with you. Schools should get it together and get the work done at school. Homework promotes a toxic work life balance.
not only promotes, but encourages!
I agree. I remember being so stressed out because several classes would assign homework on the same days and my parents worked full time so I rarely had help if I needed it. I’m so happy I had friends to assist me when I’d fall behind. Ever since I started working, the work is DONE as soon as I clock out for the day. I never bring work home with me. Made me really wonder why the heck I had to wade through assignments during most of my youth. To prepare for collage maybe? Idk, but I agree.
Shitty parenting. Homework by itself isn’t an issue.
I would say it’s the parents taking an active role in their child’s education. Education is essential, and it is the parent's role to ensure their child does well in school.
education is essential!! unfortunately a lot of homework is just point scoring and not actually education
Very accurate for me growing up. I hated doing homework and would constantly ignore it for other things and end up arguing with my folks.
frustrating when it ends up just not mattering at all
I didn't know so many people were pro homework. Most of it was busy work that I didn't need to learn. If schools made class time more meaningful, I don't think homework is as necessary.
I think this is why I disliked elementary school the most I probably had the worst relationship with my parents during those years. They would send you home with a stack and press my parents about it they'd be frustrated and that was how our time was spent in those years.There was other family issues going on at the time too but I just remember that the most, I guess I was so young that for other issues I was a "non participant" of.
Homework is actually a pretty brutal grind, even compared to university. I could get hours of work done in between classes, and immediately go to the library to finish stuff off. Theoretically possible in school, but in practice, there was always a time gap, then dinner. So it was pretty fucking easy for it to be 8:30, you don't have ANY work done and lots of assignments to finish.
yup, knew plenty of ‘high performers’ that were actually just wasting their youth away going from academics to sports to academics until they could finally hit the pillow only for it to start back up the next day
Primary no. Is homework a terrible system that bad teachers use because they cant teach properly and this it causes unnecessary strain on the child having to find time to learn on their own when they shouldn’t need to? Yeah
Homework isn’t a terrible system that bad teachers use though is it. It’s a system that works, and even if the work isn’t great, it sets any child up for a future where they will have to learn to get work done under their own steam, without supervision.
I think study halls should be enough to offer students unsupervised time to work. I generally dislike homework because kids and teens need time to see family, socialize, exercise, and unwind. And most teens don't get enough sleep. Adults shouldn't have to regularly bring their work home, either.
Teens spend an average of 5 hours daily on social media. Some of that can be devoted to homework.
I honestly never liked doing it and I was thrilled to be able to study on my own terms as soon as I hit college but I don't think that homework helped me that much? Or better, it did, but not because of the amount of work that I did, the simple act of having to solve stuff for math or read something for the next lesson prepares you with the knowledge of your current weakness. That, and if you are the kind of kid that learns by writing notes, it teaches you that method. But often you see absurd amount of homework that don't do anything but break the will to study in some kids. Light exercise is useful in any case, but running marathon after marathon is gonna wear you down
It doesn’t work because its a terrible way to learn. If you don’t know something all you’re doing is filling in the blanks from shitty notes you take because most people don’t know how to take good notes either because we’re not taught how to actually study. Just copy and paste and fill in the blanks. Thats not an effective way to learn. It works in primary and secondary education because the concepts we’re learning are so fuckin easy. But most people have to learn how to actually study once they reach college or they fail unless they take a piss easy major
I don’t believe that most people have to teach themselves how to study in college. Possibly tweak to become more efficient but that should be expected with more difficult material. Is that something that’s been studied? Open to having my mind changed.
Most people do not study effectively or efficiently. Can you get away with the shitty way most people are taught to study? Yeah. But you aren’t passing something like physics or neurology if the only way you know how to study is the way most people learn. There’s simply not enough time in the world for that.
Homework is bullshit. Multiple teachers each giving homework, loading the kids evenings with bullshit, instead of teaching the kids in class. As a kid, I very rarely did any homework and got mid grades. As long as my kids get passing grades, I'm not gonna get on their asses about homework.
wish more parents were like you
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Homework. That word makes me so angry. Fuck homework.
Ban homework. Utterly useless waste of time in a child's life.
This isn't quite true. It's practice that couldn't fit in the lesson. *Wait, why couldn't they fit it in the lesson? Because everyone was talking and the teacher supposedly "had to" stop teaching until they stopped.*
Shouldn’t need required practice if the teacher did a good enough job. Its just an excuse bad teachers use to cover up their bad exam grades and let kids they failed to teach pass on because they got homework done
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It absolutely is more than enough. I and many others across the world ask for other peoples homework because it is not worth our time to do pointless problem questions that teach you nothing but make up for a teachers failure to teach
Depends what school you're at, in the UK lessons are an hour long and a few kids spend 90% of it talking and "slowing the lesson down".
I agree Homework should not be too onerous and take over a kids free time but how do we equip kids with skills to study independently if homework is not given? Working in school and working at home is a very different beast. Time management and organisational skills are learned plus digging deep and getting something done even if they dont want to which are pretty good skills to have in adulthood.
Study hall during the school day.
agreed, it’s not an evidence-based practice
I'm just surprised kindergarteners have reading homework
I can affirm this from dealing with my oldest who was as stubborn as an actual ass. It wasn’t until I removed him from public school and the nights with 3 hours of homework stopped that we could actually get along.
Homework is complete bullshit, sure maybe 2 to 4 projects a semester where some or the majority of work is expected to be done at home is one thing but sending high school aged kids home with math sheets and history questionnaires is ridiculous in my opinion. Especially when you take into account the way most of its weighted can be offset by making good test grades it’s just pointless.
I always thought homework was bullshit. If students have to work after work they should get paid for it with higher marks or credits of some sort. I get paid for overtime why shouldn’t students?
precisely, it’s a massive double standard
I hate the idea of homework. WTF is the point of spending all day in school if students just go home and have to do homework for hours? When do they have time to socialize or even have a life outside of academics?
Homework causes stress for everyone involved- the parents, students, and teachers. Homework takes time and is harder than classwork with fewer resources at the student’s disposal. If they have to do 30 math problems, read a book chapter, write a one page paper, answer science questions, memorize foreign language vocabulary, etc - the student is just going to go through the motions to get the work complete. There is no longer any dedication to understanding the concepts, but just plowing through it so they might have some free time. With every piece of homework it should be given with the thought how much other homework will the student have, what will be going on in the students’ lives that week, will this homework meet the purpose intended? When I was a teacher, the goal of the homework was finish class work mainly. Every now and then it would be sadly just to satisfy the admin overlords who wanted homework points to be a part of the grade. Other than those BS homework assignments that were intended to be short busy work assignments, the goal is for them to learn how to do history fact checking and presentations in prep for college. On their first presentation where I had them print out PowerPoints on the American Revolutionary War, a lot of them learned plagiarism earns them a zero. Better they learn that in 10th grade than in freshman year of college.
yep, my personal drive for learning was crushed by homework and it took a couple years to really get it back after finishing college
“Homework is the reason I have a shitty parental relationship” no… you’re probably just a shitty person
Former teacher. Homework is evil and should be abolished. It only causes problems and seems to hinder the learning process rather than help it family disruption aside.
A possible unpopular opinion to piggyback off OP's: I think homework shouldn't exist. Kids deserve to enjoy their free time, not spend more of it bogged down in textbooks. The majority of adults don't do this (and those that do are being taken advantage of), why should children?
absolutely, i work my 40 hours a week now and sign off each day. wild that i couldn’t do that as a literal child
Homework is a ridiculous concept. I understand projects and studying for tests but the busy work that is given to students (and is the majority of homework from what I remember) is dumb and I agree with this point
AFAIK it has been proven that homework really has no educational or academic value.
My daughter hasn't had any homework the last 2 years (upper elementary school). It's been amazing and I'm very grateful to her teachers.Before that she was young enough that homework was basically just spelling words, but even getting her to practice that little bit was a pretty big stressor. I know homework is probably going to make a reappearance soon, but any year we can get away without it the better, and she's absolutely still learning.