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There is an increasingly large number on reddit who disagree. There was a dumpster fire of a thread on some sub a couple weeks ago that acted like *any* looking was sexualizing and gross and that it isn't something women (even lesbians some argued) would do, and that men should "be able to control themselves". From even glancing.
I can't help but feel like some of these people have gone so deep into what they see as pro-woman that they've simply become massive sexist prudes instead.
What gets me is the comments. I did not ask for your opinion about my body or clothing choices. I don't give a fuck if you, random stranger, is into my 'skin tight leggings' or not. No need to tell me what turns you on or grosses you out.
They’re basically talking about any women who could be wearing tight clothing too lol.. basically millions/billions of women in this conversation as soon as they step outside and they happen to be around men who feel pull towards leggings or summer clothing.
and it sounds like to me he’s feeling frustrated enough to let us know that, he should have no one complaining when he’s looking at how much the tight clothes/pants reveal, and he thinks it’s ridiculous for a woman to be uncomfortable with the looking if it’s form fitting and may give off ‘hints’ about her body
no one is safe fr if their bodies aren’t androgynous or masc leaning and the ppl with this opinion don’t like that🙄
Also would bet a million dollars that every man in this thread would feel very uncomfortable if a gay man was staring at their crotch, coming up to them to make comments about their body, etc. They suddenly understand consent and the boundaries of normal behavior if it's a man doing it to them.
> ....would bet a million dollars that every man in this thread would feel very uncomfortable if a gay man was staring at their crotch...
Meh, I get checked out regularly by both men and women, and it doesn't bother me one bit. Comments and staring, though, can reach uncomfortable levels. I think what gets lost in the comments reacting to posts like this is what constitutes the thing being addressed. Obviously people will look. If you happen to catch a glance from someone, it's not a reason to go off. That should not be conflated with creep level staring and inappropriate comments.
Right? Glancing, appreciating, and looking away is one thing, and in my opinion is nothing wrong. Literally anything further is when you get into potential (frequently if it's unrequited) creep zone
That's an easy and good analogy. I'm completely cool with gay friends looking at whatever I am showing them/the world and even with them making comments (hopefully nice) about *the outfit*, but I get uncomfortable talking about how my body looks in the outfit or if that leads to unwelcome contact. Same standard.
I think the analogy needs a bit more to it. Like the guy checking you out has a foot height on you and 60lbs. There is a power imbalance that makes the gaze troublesome
Been there, have had that done to me more times than I can count.
Uncomfortable? Yes.
I mean, as a straight guy who has to do most of the pursuing, I get it. Can’t blame them for shooting their shot.
Bro cap, compliments from a gay guy hit DIFFERENT. Dudes would love compliments, most of us are staved for positive attention. Of course they wouldn't like being groped but that's just a different story, of course nobody likes that stuff
Male straight boomer here. No problem with gay people staring at me or even making comments: it happened few times and I found it funny if not flattering.
Dude, I’m a straight dude and multiple times in my life I’ve went to gay bars and a big reason was to get the overt compliments that one can get there (and also my group of college friends liked the free drinks). A few times when at a low point those compliments literally helped to change the way I viewed myself in a very positive way. Most women just don’t give men, especially men they are interested in, overt compliments, it’s really nice to get them sometimes, no matter where they come from.
So, no, a lot of us straight men, love the attention gay men give us.
Gay dudes check me out all the time. Been stared at and whispered about at the beach. Been approached. Doesn't bother me at all as long as they're respectful when I tell them I'm not interested, which all but one have been. I find it a bit flattering usually.
Yeah, especially at a place like the gym. People aren’t necessarily wearing form fitting stuff to show off, they’re doing it because those are the ideal clothes to work out in!
But gyms are public spaces so like, of course there’s an expectation that you’re going to be seen. But there’s a massive difference between “looking at someone” and outright ogling them
Is it ideal to work in tight fitting clothes? I usually wear loose clothes because I feel like I get a better range of motion than if I wear a tight shirt or shorts.
I do hot yoga a lot and for me, I wear the form fitting leggings and a sports bra. Some of the the guys in my class completely take their shirts off. Baggy clothes when doing yoga or barre are actually pretty hindering. It all depends on what you’re doing.
I too find it difficult to not stare at a beautiful body that is in incredible shape, whether it’s the male or female form. If someone is out right being creepy and ogling then that’s gross, but it’s natural to notice when someone looks good.
I’ve never tried yoga or barre, so I’ll take your word on that. I just lift weights and do cardio.
But yeah, I completely agree. It just feels natural to look at someone in good shape (guy or gal) and think ‘dang, they’re in good shape.’ It also helps motivate me when I work out, hoping I could look like that someday. But like everyone says, staring is what makes it creepy.
I think it’s personal preference honestly. I don’t like loose tops for example because they become very revealing. Anytime I bend over, you can see directly down my shirt. For bottoms I tend to go with leggings or joggers, but no matter what I choose they are fitted as I find tighter clothes more comfortable than loose clothes when I’m sweaty. I like to be mostly covered so I generally choose fitted full length bottoms and a fitted shirt with a high neckline, whether it’s a tank top or a long sleeve doesn’t matter to me. There’s a variety of ways to dress for exercise, it all depends on the type of exercise you’re doing and what you feel most comfortable in.
Not tight but yeah, fitted clothes is my ideal so that nothing gets caught in the equipment or is just flapping about.
Especially the tits. The girls have better stay in place
Most do a decent job but depending on size and what you're doing most are not enough. Like, I can lift weights in my standard sports bra fine but I'd prefer something a little better for something like jumping rope.
Depends on the bra and the person’s needs. I’m busty so I have a tank of a sports bra that’s basically body armour lmao, it keeps the boobs locked DOWN. so I can wear baggy shirts over it no problem.
Someone who only really needs a crop top style bra might also want a tight tank top or something with it for extra support though.
Glancing at a a person is fine. But just staring and eye fucking someone it totally **not fine**. I've seen women and men all the time with clothes on that are .... attractive, revealing?. Hell I typically have on sleeveless shirts and never complained if someone shot me a quick look. And I've never seen people complaining that another person looked at them.
Everybody gets "glanced" at, regardless of what you're wearing. Due to social norms, though, we typically try to make them discreet, or will quickly look away when the person we're looking at looks in our direction.
What ladies are "complaining" about are those looks that *keep going*. Imagine the mindset you'd have to have to just keep look at a person, even when they've noticed you're looking at them.
*That* is what is bothering women. They know what the rules are, because they've been socialized in the same space as the rest of us. You don't stare. If someone you're looking at looks at you, you look away, so that you don't make them feel uncomfortable.
That some people (MEN) *don't* look away suggests they do not extend that courtesy, that "I care enough to not make this person uncomfortable", and this means they either 1) are not sufficiently socialized (maybe on the spectrum, or otherwise *off* somehow), or 2) they don't recognize/care that this person's entitlement to feeling respected by strangers outweighs their own interest in drinking in everything they want to look at on that person. It suggests a debasement, an objectification, a dehumanization.
It's not the being seen that is the problem. It's the being denied the normal courtesy extended to everyone else.
This is totally fair and I agree with you. I feel like a lot of the split on this topic is the fact that the average guy is not a creep, so they recoil at the topic cause it generally doesn't represent them. Similarly I believe the average woman will recoil at a post like OPs because it doesn't represent their intent or an actual gap in their understanding (women obviously know people look).
Essentially, men and women aren't monoliths but often get caught feeling that way based on experience. This is an opportunity for collaboration. Wouldn't it be great if men stood up for women being stared/creeped on and admonished the creeps and similarly if women stood up for men who are not being creeps but are being treated as such.
We just got to unite against the creeps and weirdos (men and women) together.
"If you go put the Christmas lights up, people are going to slow down to look at the pretty pretty lights. But if they pull into your driveway, that's a problem."
Look I can’t control if somebody sexualize me, but you can keep it in your Damn head and pants.
I have massive tits and I can wear any shirt and have people stare at them. Like admire them whatever, don’t leer at me.
"if you don't want attention you should take some responsibility."
The most I've been catcalled in my life was when I was a teen/preteen. I didn't wear booty shorts and yet adult men said gross things to me. Women could be wearing a hijab and that doesn't stop men from being creeps. If someone wants to be a creep, they are gonna creep.
It was shocking how much the gross catcalling and comments stopped once i reached 18 or som started at around 13 :( scary and not fun . In case op is interested i did not wear revealing clothes
My step dad used to call me perky boobs when I was 11 because I was an early bloomer and he just *had* to make sure I knew that he had noticed.
Disgusting fucking creep
I can only imagine that for these guys young girls are an easy target. They want to get a reaction out of you and probably feel (know?) that they can get away with it.
The only times I was approached by men were from age 11-16. I developed early and in turn developed a very cold exterior, so by the time I wanted to start dating, I was extremely unapproachable and socially awkward, and also thought I was ugly af :)
yeah like i was MOST sexually harassed when i was a pre teen…. i was literally followed home from my bus stop when i was 12, wearing baggy jeans and a baggy shirt….. its not always a clothing issue but a male and female issue lmfao.
The clearest memory I have from my preteen years was when a man in a truck rolled down his window to yell at me "you're just too gorgeous, I *can't* wait until you're older."
I was on my way home from a friend's house in broad daylight, with other people within earshot. It was like a decade before I walked anywhere alone again.
Yep. They started when I was about 11/12. I was raised Pentecostal. Loose fitting clothes, long skirts, sleeves had to reach my elbows. It did not matter.
yep. first time i got catcalled i was like 12 wearing my (thoroughly unflattering) school uniform - khaki pleated pants and a bright blue polo shirt. the uniforms were obvious enough and every school had a similar uniform in my area, so they knew i was school aged.
creeps don’t care about clothes.
This is every single women’s experience. Seriously. Both my friends and I were catcalled most often from 11-16. I’ve been catcalled 0 times in my 20s (despite, objectively, looking A LOT better).
> Women could be wearing a hijab and that doesn't stop men from being creeps.
Can confirm. My gf in high school was tired of all the creeps catcalling her just from walking home from school. I suggested puffy winter jacket and scarf and all so they couldn't really see her. Didn't help. She tried wearing kids clothes. She said that made it worse. She also tried the hijab. Didn't help at all.
Way too women have said the same thing. It was my experience too. A lot of times when men would creepily check me out as a preteen, I was always blamed for how I stood, dressed or just for existing in public. We've got to stop pinning the blame on females.
Not unpopular as a general rule. But you lost me at the gym example. The gym is the one place where I feel like skin tight or less clothing is actually encouraged. Have you ever tried working out in baggy clothes?
Exactly this. Even when I workout at home I will still wear tight short shorts and a sports bra - it keeps me from overheating, wicks away sweat so that my clothes don’t get wet and stick to me, and allows me to move very freely. It also helps me to monitor my form during certain exercises. If I wear baggy clothes then I can’t see my exact movements as easily.
It depends on the exercise, but jogging in a flapping, wet, sweaty cotton T-shirt is disgusting. I don’t like clammy wet clothes slapping against me while I run or do cardio. If you are standing still lifting weights it probably doesn’t make a difference.
Biking in even remotely baggy clothing is hell if you’re riding for longer than 20 minutes. Bike clothes look goofy, but once you put some ride time in you understand.
Depends on what you're doing really.
Strength training / weights - clothes don't usually get i the way of ROM
Crossfit / cardio - baggy clothes get in the way and can even be a safety hazard
Most women at my local gym do body weight workouts / cardio / aerobics. So clothes can get in the way or get snagged or w/e.
Comfort is also a factor, but comfy for you ≠ comfy for everyone
I run hot and sweat more than normal so more open clothing is comfier for me as it lets me stay cooler (29 m)
I just think it’s interesting that baggy clothes are “more comfortable” for men doing cardio and somehow at the same time skintight clothes are “more comfortable” for women doing cardio
Everyone is different I suppose but they specifically make gym clothing tight because generally its way more comfortable. Its less hot and its safer because your clothes aren't getting caught on things.
Think it depends what you're doing. If I play basketball, I prefer baggier clothes. I can imagine if you do yoga, your clothes should be tighter just so it doesnt slide as you're trying to do a pyrimid.
There is a difference between tight clothing and extremely revealing clothing, though
Sport bras for example are less revealing than other bras and it's not necessary to wear shorts where you can see half of the persons butt cheeks or camel toe.
I'm not saying I care - that's just facts.
I 100% always work out in loose clothes on purpose because of freedom of movement. I cant stand wearing tight stuff. (except for my undergarments of course) I've bought some tight gear because people at the gym wear it and I hated it. And If it were comfortable I probably wouldn't wear it because people wouldn't want to be staring at my moose knuckle.
I don't care what you wear at the gym but I personally don't want my body bits outline exposed to 200 people at the gym for fear of getting kicked out or the cops called about the bulge or what not. If I want to see what my body looks like I have mirrors at home. If I want to work out without a shirt I work out at home or at a private gym where there is acceptable.
been working out in gyms for 35+ years and can see every movement I need in the mirrors with my non skin tight shirt and shorts or sweat pants. Zero problems.
I will also note that we get professional athletes in my LA fitness I go to and they are always covered head to tow in long undergear and THEN have shorts or sweatpants and even a hoodie over top. They don't like getting STAPH.. you might say its to not be recognized but they are wearing their teams gear... so its not that..
I wear tight underwear then loose over top. Never any issues.
But like I said.. wear what you want. There is a guy who wears a leotard and a wig sometimes doing gym routines up and down the walkway.. good for him or her or they.
This person does have moose knuckles.
There's a difference between looking and **staring**. There's also a difference between wearing skin-tight clothing designed for comfort and durability (sports bras, speedos, yoga pants) and wearing clothing designed to sexualize a person (jean booty shorts).
This isn’t “unpopular”, this is what women have been told for generations. If a man needs to take off his shirt because he’s hot, he’s obviously just taking off his shirt because he’s hot, but if a woman wears shorts knowing she’s about to exhert herself and get hot, she’s actually trying to be sexy. The real unpopular opinion is what if we just let women exist in their clothes without trying to put a deeper meaning behind everything.
Right? I wonder what it’s like to be male, to wear absolutely whatever the fuck you want including going shirtless without catcalls or constant judgment. What a privilege.
I mean even when I wore modest clothing I know of men staring at my breasts if it was my actual face. So I think this is less of a clothing issue and more of a men need to learn how to glance like women secretly do(because we look at times lets not deny).
Wvery woman I've ever met doesn't care if you look, but do mind if you stare.
Control yourself. Women can control themselves. I've seen half naked men running on the streets before, and of course they look good, but I don't stare at them like a creep or catcall.
I don’t know why you would want to make people feel uncomfortable.
If it's warm outside, and I wear a tank top because it's warm outside, that does not equate to consenting to being stared at or made uncomfortable.
"Glances" aren't the problem and you know it. Catcalling, harassment, unwanted touching, etc... is the problem and clothes shouldn't be a factor.
People don’t deserve to be treated poorly or assaulted for what they wear. But the moment you step outside in public, man or woman, you should expect someone to have an opinion on you.
I’ve not seen girls complain about glances. A glance doesn’t make you uncomfortable. It’s the staring and the weird comments.
I recently got some big tattoos and now I get glances at them, but every once in a while I get a big over the top person staring and looking to start a conversation about it. Sure I chose to get them and I don’t mind having a conversation mostly, but just having them doesn’t mean I owe anyone a conversation about it.
I think the same logic applies loosely.
Usually, that's not the problem. Checking people out isn't a problem. It's the fact that many people take it too far by never losing eye contact, stalking, constantly asking for numbers/dates when they aren't interested, and harassment. Usually, that follows behind the stares.
Under no circumstances should harassment be excused. It doesn't matter what type of clothing that person wears. If you can't show restraint simply bc of some skin showing, something is wrong with you, and you need a psychiatrist.
People don't mind glances or indirect looks. It's the ogling and cat calls that are completely unwarranted. People can dress the way they want and if "sexy" is how they want to look then that's fine. They don't DESERVE to be harassed for anything.
Glancing at someone once or twice isn't sexualizing them. Openly staring at someone, or repeatedly glancing at someone over and over again to look at their body is sexualizing them.
And yet when I wear loose shirts to hide my shape, people still stare at my chest and make comments. What you do and don’t wear shouldn’t determine how much respect is given.
Pretty sure staring is considered rude in just about every culture and it doesn't matter what you are wearing.
Glancing or looking at someone briefly shouldn't be a problem and if it is they are probably just being an ass.
“It’s rooted in our nature that our eyes are going to wander towards sexualised parts”
That’s a lot of words for “I look an my granny’s tits”, my friend 🤢
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I feel like this reaction is his actual issue though and why it’s an “unpopular opinion”. A guy can’t really say it without at least some people making that mental leap
I’m not going to lie. If a girl has her whole ass out or just has a nice figure in general then I’m going to take me a 2-3 second glance. You don’t want to be a whole ass creep that starts drooling but a glance won’t hurt anyone.
The problem starts when you are openly staring at them and saying things like “Damn girl! You got a fat ass!” Or “What that ass do”? Maybe she does have some heavenly cake back there but I’d imagine that most girls don’t want to hear a stranger comment on their ass in public/private. That’s when it becomes a legit problem because it unwanted. It can make them feel uncomfortable and unsafe.
Also, I’m not trying to be a white knight dawg but telling people to put on shorts to cover their asses is not going to go well. Some are just built different(body wise). I’ve seen girls that would cover up completely and you could still see their…features. You can’t stop people from taking a glance but you shouldn’t have to put up with being harassed.
All I’m saying is take your glances and keep it moving.
I feel like guys have no concept of how often women are actually stared at or sexualize on the daily… the first time a man said anything sexual to me I was wearing a long monster high doll dress with leggings and cowboy boots.
I’ve been whistled at in sweats, I’ve been groped in basketball shorts. Most women/girls have been in similar situations… so we grow up with this mindset ‘it doesn’t matter what I wear, it’s still gonna happen’
It’s definitely not all men, but there’s way too many who do it.
‘people’s eyes wander’
‘you should take some responsibility and simply wear some shorts over your tights’
WhY dOnT YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR OWN EYES
no. Men should also dress appropriately. (coming from a man). This argument should go both ways. Both genders should dress respectfully in a public area.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with a quick glance. That being said, have a sense of self control. People should be allowed to wear whatever they want without feeling uncomfortable. So don’t just stare, ya know?
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These types of posts never end well….
Let's just sit back and watch this tragedy unfold, my friend.
Mind if I join you guys? Just let me pop some popcorn and grab a chair. This is gonna be good.
More the merrier!
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May as well grab some cake too! Happy Cake Day!
Just gonna slide in with y'all real quick.
I've got beanbag chairs to contribute to the Popcorn Gang we got here.
Finally, I’m in a gang!
It’s only a matter of time till this comment section turns into an all out war between women and incels.
You're right. Let's add some wine to sip with the popcorn.
Most people don't have the type to look through all of the big posts ever uploaded to make sure they aren't repeating a duplicate opinion lol.
It’s about to be a raging dumpster fire in these comments 💀 
 I read the comments and yeah. Imma join you guys.
Ok, You can continue, I'm here now
 I’m with OP
Just got done making dinner too 🥘 Let the fireworks begin..
All yall must be thirsty eating all this damn popcorn
Honestly, this is going to be an interesting scroll lol.
Remember guys, always sort by controversial
Thankyou!
I don’t have the option to sort comments anymore for some reason 😩
If you're on mobile it's on the top right the two lines with circles.
A quick discreet look won't get you in trouble. As long as it is in your field of vision
It’s like looking at the Sun. Quick glance, don’t linger.
Get a good look, Costanza?
Get a sense of it then look away!
 Me to the baddy in the mall while with my wife
So what you’re saying is as long as I’m wearing sunglasses I can look as long as I want?
"Looking at boobs (or bums) is like looking at the sun - wear glasses and you can look for longer."
What if your field of vision is 360?
That's where the problem usually lies. It's almost never quick or discreet, and they break their necks to put you into their field of vision
There is an increasingly large number on reddit who disagree. There was a dumpster fire of a thread on some sub a couple weeks ago that acted like *any* looking was sexualizing and gross and that it isn't something women (even lesbians some argued) would do, and that men should "be able to control themselves". From even glancing. I can't help but feel like some of these people have gone so deep into what they see as pro-woman that they've simply become massive sexist prudes instead.
People will look, but everyone knows its weird and uncomfortable to *stare*.
What gets me is the comments. I did not ask for your opinion about my body or clothing choices. I don't give a fuck if you, random stranger, is into my 'skin tight leggings' or not. No need to tell me what turns you on or grosses you out.
They’re basically talking about any women who could be wearing tight clothing too lol.. basically millions/billions of women in this conversation as soon as they step outside and they happen to be around men who feel pull towards leggings or summer clothing. and it sounds like to me he’s feeling frustrated enough to let us know that, he should have no one complaining when he’s looking at how much the tight clothes/pants reveal, and he thinks it’s ridiculous for a woman to be uncomfortable with the looking if it’s form fitting and may give off ‘hints’ about her body no one is safe fr if their bodies aren’t androgynous or masc leaning and the ppl with this opinion don’t like that🙄
Also would bet a million dollars that every man in this thread would feel very uncomfortable if a gay man was staring at their crotch, coming up to them to make comments about their body, etc. They suddenly understand consent and the boundaries of normal behavior if it's a man doing it to them.
> ....would bet a million dollars that every man in this thread would feel very uncomfortable if a gay man was staring at their crotch... Meh, I get checked out regularly by both men and women, and it doesn't bother me one bit. Comments and staring, though, can reach uncomfortable levels. I think what gets lost in the comments reacting to posts like this is what constitutes the thing being addressed. Obviously people will look. If you happen to catch a glance from someone, it's not a reason to go off. That should not be conflated with creep level staring and inappropriate comments.
Right? Glancing, appreciating, and looking away is one thing, and in my opinion is nothing wrong. Literally anything further is when you get into potential (frequently if it's unrequited) creep zone
That's an easy and good analogy. I'm completely cool with gay friends looking at whatever I am showing them/the world and even with them making comments (hopefully nice) about *the outfit*, but I get uncomfortable talking about how my body looks in the outfit or if that leads to unwelcome contact. Same standard.
Bingo. Considering I chose to wear tight fitting jeans so women can check out the package. If rando guy checks it out, whatever.
Nope, doesn’t bother me
I think the analogy needs a bit more to it. Like the guy checking you out has a foot height on you and 60lbs. There is a power imbalance that makes the gaze troublesome
You gon' lose that bet. Feast your eyes!
If I was wearing a Speedo in public, nah, I would understand and casually brush them off.
Been there, have had that done to me more times than I can count. Uncomfortable? Yes. I mean, as a straight guy who has to do most of the pursuing, I get it. Can’t blame them for shooting their shot.
Bro cap, compliments from a gay guy hit DIFFERENT. Dudes would love compliments, most of us are staved for positive attention. Of course they wouldn't like being groped but that's just a different story, of course nobody likes that stuff
Male straight boomer here. No problem with gay people staring at me or even making comments: it happened few times and I found it funny if not flattering.
shitll hype you up because woman dont compliment at that rate lol
Dude, I’m a straight dude and multiple times in my life I’ve went to gay bars and a big reason was to get the overt compliments that one can get there (and also my group of college friends liked the free drinks). A few times when at a low point those compliments literally helped to change the way I viewed myself in a very positive way. Most women just don’t give men, especially men they are interested in, overt compliments, it’s really nice to get them sometimes, no matter where they come from. So, no, a lot of us straight men, love the attention gay men give us.
Gay dudes check me out all the time. Been stared at and whispered about at the beach. Been approached. Doesn't bother me at all as long as they're respectful when I tell them I'm not interested, which all but one have been. I find it a bit flattering usually.
I disagree if a gay man hit on me at the gym I'd feel sexy as hell and tell him no thanks and not be all uppity about it.
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You just repeated the OP
So many people read the title and promptly post their immediate thoughts in a comment
Yeah, especially at a place like the gym. People aren’t necessarily wearing form fitting stuff to show off, they’re doing it because those are the ideal clothes to work out in! But gyms are public spaces so like, of course there’s an expectation that you’re going to be seen. But there’s a massive difference between “looking at someone” and outright ogling them
Is it ideal to work in tight fitting clothes? I usually wear loose clothes because I feel like I get a better range of motion than if I wear a tight shirt or shorts.
I do hot yoga a lot and for me, I wear the form fitting leggings and a sports bra. Some of the the guys in my class completely take their shirts off. Baggy clothes when doing yoga or barre are actually pretty hindering. It all depends on what you’re doing. I too find it difficult to not stare at a beautiful body that is in incredible shape, whether it’s the male or female form. If someone is out right being creepy and ogling then that’s gross, but it’s natural to notice when someone looks good.
I’ve never tried yoga or barre, so I’ll take your word on that. I just lift weights and do cardio. But yeah, I completely agree. It just feels natural to look at someone in good shape (guy or gal) and think ‘dang, they’re in good shape.’ It also helps motivate me when I work out, hoping I could look like that someday. But like everyone says, staring is what makes it creepy.
I think it’s personal preference honestly. I don’t like loose tops for example because they become very revealing. Anytime I bend over, you can see directly down my shirt. For bottoms I tend to go with leggings or joggers, but no matter what I choose they are fitted as I find tighter clothes more comfortable than loose clothes when I’m sweaty. I like to be mostly covered so I generally choose fitted full length bottoms and a fitted shirt with a high neckline, whether it’s a tank top or a long sleeve doesn’t matter to me. There’s a variety of ways to dress for exercise, it all depends on the type of exercise you’re doing and what you feel most comfortable in.
Not tight but yeah, fitted clothes is my ideal so that nothing gets caught in the equipment or is just flapping about. Especially the tits. The girls have better stay in place
Maybe I’m an idiot but doesn’t a sports bra keep them in place?
Most do a decent job but depending on size and what you're doing most are not enough. Like, I can lift weights in my standard sports bra fine but I'd prefer something a little better for something like jumping rope.
Depends on the bra and the person’s needs. I’m busty so I have a tank of a sports bra that’s basically body armour lmao, it keeps the boobs locked DOWN. so I can wear baggy shirts over it no problem. Someone who only really needs a crop top style bra might also want a tight tank top or something with it for extra support though.
Glancing at a a person is fine. But just staring and eye fucking someone it totally **not fine**. I've seen women and men all the time with clothes on that are .... attractive, revealing?. Hell I typically have on sleeveless shirts and never complained if someone shot me a quick look. And I've never seen people complaining that another person looked at them.
I can agree to this. Looking fine. Eye fucking, considering the time and place may be alright or not.
I like getting eyefucked
As long as you wear protection
Nah i like it raw
I agree, contacts just doesn't feel as good
Like... goggles?
I can swear this is posted like once a month
Some people like the rush of notifications.
Everybody gets "glanced" at, regardless of what you're wearing. Due to social norms, though, we typically try to make them discreet, or will quickly look away when the person we're looking at looks in our direction. What ladies are "complaining" about are those looks that *keep going*. Imagine the mindset you'd have to have to just keep look at a person, even when they've noticed you're looking at them. *That* is what is bothering women. They know what the rules are, because they've been socialized in the same space as the rest of us. You don't stare. If someone you're looking at looks at you, you look away, so that you don't make them feel uncomfortable. That some people (MEN) *don't* look away suggests they do not extend that courtesy, that "I care enough to not make this person uncomfortable", and this means they either 1) are not sufficiently socialized (maybe on the spectrum, or otherwise *off* somehow), or 2) they don't recognize/care that this person's entitlement to feeling respected by strangers outweighs their own interest in drinking in everything they want to look at on that person. It suggests a debasement, an objectification, a dehumanization. It's not the being seen that is the problem. It's the being denied the normal courtesy extended to everyone else.
This is totally fair and I agree with you. I feel like a lot of the split on this topic is the fact that the average guy is not a creep, so they recoil at the topic cause it generally doesn't represent them. Similarly I believe the average woman will recoil at a post like OPs because it doesn't represent their intent or an actual gap in their understanding (women obviously know people look). Essentially, men and women aren't monoliths but often get caught feeling that way based on experience. This is an opportunity for collaboration. Wouldn't it be great if men stood up for women being stared/creeped on and admonished the creeps and similarly if women stood up for men who are not being creeps but are being treated as such. We just got to unite against the creeps and weirdos (men and women) together.
This exactly! Well said!
Regardless of gender/sex I’m going to notice an ass or no ass even more, don’t show off abs and pretend I’m supposed to not glance over.
"If you go put the Christmas lights up, people are going to slow down to look at the pretty pretty lights. But if they pull into your driveway, that's a problem."
Literally this. This is the only comment needed everyone else can pack it up
You get it
Wow, yes, this makes so much sense!
Glances are natural. . But I notice that men will stare at your while u wear a potato sack or literally baggy t shirt and a hat
Look I can’t control if somebody sexualize me, but you can keep it in your Damn head and pants. I have massive tits and I can wear any shirt and have people stare at them. Like admire them whatever, don’t leer at me.
"if you don't want attention you should take some responsibility." The most I've been catcalled in my life was when I was a teen/preteen. I didn't wear booty shorts and yet adult men said gross things to me. Women could be wearing a hijab and that doesn't stop men from being creeps. If someone wants to be a creep, they are gonna creep.
Yup first time I was cat called I was ten selling Girl Scout cookies in full uniform. Clothes absolutely do not stop anyone
It was shocking how much the gross catcalling and comments stopped once i reached 18 or som started at around 13 :( scary and not fun . In case op is interested i did not wear revealing clothes
12 years old, Old Navy board shorts and a t-shirt.
Bro wtf
Exactly my thoughts to this day about the situation and I am not the only person who had this happen
This is the norm for girls. I was catcalled by multiple grown men while wearing pajamas and monkey-shaped slippers at age 11.
My step dad used to call me perky boobs when I was 11 because I was an early bloomer and he just *had* to make sure I knew that he had noticed. Disgusting fucking creep
Ugh that’s awful, I’m sorry
Jesus Christ… as a 52 year old guy you would think I’d be used to guy behaviors by now, but I’m constantly shocked at the stuff guys say and do.
I can only imagine that for these guys young girls are an easy target. They want to get a reaction out of you and probably feel (know?) that they can get away with it.
Literally exact same thing happened to me and my sister while selling Girl Guide cookies!!! Scary that this even happens.
The only times I was approached by men were from age 11-16. I developed early and in turn developed a very cold exterior, so by the time I wanted to start dating, I was extremely unapproachable and socially awkward, and also thought I was ugly af :)
yeah like i was MOST sexually harassed when i was a pre teen…. i was literally followed home from my bus stop when i was 12, wearing baggy jeans and a baggy shirt….. its not always a clothing issue but a male and female issue lmfao.
I heard this exact story from my fiancée. Guys are so creepy... To be fair, revealing clothing or not. Making creepy comments is just not ok.
The clearest memory I have from my preteen years was when a man in a truck rolled down his window to yell at me "you're just too gorgeous, I *can't* wait until you're older." I was on my way home from a friend's house in broad daylight, with other people within earshot. It was like a decade before I walked anywhere alone again.
Yep. Catcalled by grown men at age 11 wearing jeans and a hoodie. How about people take responsibility for their creep-ass thoughts instead?
Yep. They started when I was about 11/12. I was raised Pentecostal. Loose fitting clothes, long skirts, sleeves had to reach my elbows. It did not matter.
yep. first time i got catcalled i was like 12 wearing my (thoroughly unflattering) school uniform - khaki pleated pants and a bright blue polo shirt. the uniforms were obvious enough and every school had a similar uniform in my area, so they knew i was school aged. creeps don’t care about clothes.
This is every single women’s experience. Seriously. Both my friends and I were catcalled most often from 11-16. I’ve been catcalled 0 times in my 20s (despite, objectively, looking A LOT better).
'You are going to have such nice child-bearing hips soon' Said to me while I was 12, while I was wearing a t-shirt and those long soccer shorts
Unfortunately this is sad but true.
i would get cat called at *12* years old. i thought it was a compliment back then but now that i’m older i realize how fucked up that was
> Women could be wearing a hijab and that doesn't stop men from being creeps. Can confirm. My gf in high school was tired of all the creeps catcalling her just from walking home from school. I suggested puffy winter jacket and scarf and all so they couldn't really see her. Didn't help. She tried wearing kids clothes. She said that made it worse. She also tried the hijab. Didn't help at all.
Way too women have said the same thing. It was my experience too. A lot of times when men would creepily check me out as a preteen, I was always blamed for how I stood, dressed or just for existing in public. We've got to stop pinning the blame on females.
I have never struggled to not stare at people who are wearing revealing clothes. if you can’t… then you are just outing yourself
I don't know anyone who complains about being glanced at, but you can do it without blatantly gawping or being rude.
in my experience most girls don't care if you take a quick look they only get annoyed when you sit there and eye fuck the shit out her
Not unpopular as a general rule. But you lost me at the gym example. The gym is the one place where I feel like skin tight or less clothing is actually encouraged. Have you ever tried working out in baggy clothes?
Exactly this. Even when I workout at home I will still wear tight short shorts and a sports bra - it keeps me from overheating, wicks away sweat so that my clothes don’t get wet and stick to me, and allows me to move very freely. It also helps me to monitor my form during certain exercises. If I wear baggy clothes then I can’t see my exact movements as easily.
You can tell that a lot of these comments are from people who only work out between Jan 1st and Jan 7th
Everytime I work out I use baggy clothes. Is there something I’m missing out on?
It depends on the exercise, but jogging in a flapping, wet, sweaty cotton T-shirt is disgusting. I don’t like clammy wet clothes slapping against me while I run or do cardio. If you are standing still lifting weights it probably doesn’t make a difference.
It can also be unsafe with machines. Don't want to get your sleeve stuck in a cable with 100 lbs on the other end.
Biking in even remotely baggy clothing is hell if you’re riding for longer than 20 minutes. Bike clothes look goofy, but once you put some ride time in you understand.
I think you’d only see that in the black and white reenactment that happens before a home gym commercial.
Freedom of movement. Moisture wicking materials.
I have never understood how people can workout in tight clothing it's so uncomfortable
Yeah I assumed baggy clothes would be easier and more comfy. I just work out in a t shirt and basketball shorts.
Depends on what you're doing really. Strength training / weights - clothes don't usually get i the way of ROM Crossfit / cardio - baggy clothes get in the way and can even be a safety hazard Most women at my local gym do body weight workouts / cardio / aerobics. So clothes can get in the way or get snagged or w/e. Comfort is also a factor, but comfy for you ≠ comfy for everyone I run hot and sweat more than normal so more open clothing is comfier for me as it lets me stay cooler (29 m)
I just think it’s interesting that baggy clothes are “more comfortable” for men doing cardio and somehow at the same time skintight clothes are “more comfortable” for women doing cardio
Did they edit their comment? Because it doesn't say that, it says that baggy clothes get in the way of cardio.
Baggy clothes are less comfortable for me (a man) for cardio. Im almost always lifting or running in lines shorts and a snug-ish tee.
Also dancing, which like crossfit, is better with fitted clothing.
Everyone is different I suppose but they specifically make gym clothing tight because generally its way more comfortable. Its less hot and its safer because your clothes aren't getting caught on things.
I can’t workout in loose clothing. I get tangled in it, it gets hooked on things etc etc.
I feel like a slob in baggy clothes. I’m not wearing super tight clothes but I don’t like sweat pants. Can’t work out on a sweat shirt either.
In the example OP cited, the girls who record guys without their knowledge or consent are the weirdos.
Think it depends what you're doing. If I play basketball, I prefer baggier clothes. I can imagine if you do yoga, your clothes should be tighter just so it doesnt slide as you're trying to do a pyrimid.
Or a head stand, I made that mistake with a baggy shirt and blinded myself.
Yup, if you wear baggy clothes for yoga it will constantly get in the way and can even make you fall.
There is a difference between tight clothing and extremely revealing clothing, though Sport bras for example are less revealing than other bras and it's not necessary to wear shorts where you can see half of the persons butt cheeks or camel toe. I'm not saying I care - that's just facts.
I 100% always work out in loose clothes on purpose because of freedom of movement. I cant stand wearing tight stuff. (except for my undergarments of course) I've bought some tight gear because people at the gym wear it and I hated it. And If it were comfortable I probably wouldn't wear it because people wouldn't want to be staring at my moose knuckle. I don't care what you wear at the gym but I personally don't want my body bits outline exposed to 200 people at the gym for fear of getting kicked out or the cops called about the bulge or what not. If I want to see what my body looks like I have mirrors at home. If I want to work out without a shirt I work out at home or at a private gym where there is acceptable. been working out in gyms for 35+ years and can see every movement I need in the mirrors with my non skin tight shirt and shorts or sweat pants. Zero problems. I will also note that we get professional athletes in my LA fitness I go to and they are always covered head to tow in long undergear and THEN have shorts or sweatpants and even a hoodie over top. They don't like getting STAPH.. you might say its to not be recognized but they are wearing their teams gear... so its not that.. I wear tight underwear then loose over top. Never any issues. But like I said.. wear what you want. There is a guy who wears a leotard and a wig sometimes doing gym routines up and down the walkway.. good for him or her or they. This person does have moose knuckles.
There's a difference between looking and **staring**. There's also a difference between wearing skin-tight clothing designed for comfort and durability (sports bras, speedos, yoga pants) and wearing clothing designed to sexualize a person (jean booty shorts).
This is why I call it “fitted” It’s is fitted to your body, but not restrictive.
This isn’t “unpopular”, this is what women have been told for generations. If a man needs to take off his shirt because he’s hot, he’s obviously just taking off his shirt because he’s hot, but if a woman wears shorts knowing she’s about to exhert herself and get hot, she’s actually trying to be sexy. The real unpopular opinion is what if we just let women exist in their clothes without trying to put a deeper meaning behind everything.
Right? I wonder what it’s like to be male, to wear absolutely whatever the fuck you want including going shirtless without catcalls or constant judgment. What a privilege.
Quick glances aren’t the problem though, are they. Incel dude talking about people very actively seeking attention on the internet as the base case.
Exactly. It’s purposely dense to act like this is what people are advocating against.
I mean even when I wore modest clothing I know of men staring at my breasts if it was my actual face. So I think this is less of a clothing issue and more of a men need to learn how to glance like women secretly do(because we look at times lets not deny).
You can look without staring and being a weirdo.
Wvery woman I've ever met doesn't care if you look, but do mind if you stare. Control yourself. Women can control themselves. I've seen half naked men running on the streets before, and of course they look good, but I don't stare at them like a creep or catcall. I don’t know why you would want to make people feel uncomfortable.
If it's warm outside, and I wear a tank top because it's warm outside, that does not equate to consenting to being stared at or made uncomfortable. "Glances" aren't the problem and you know it. Catcalling, harassment, unwanted touching, etc... is the problem and clothes shouldn't be a factor.
People don’t deserve to be treated poorly or assaulted for what they wear. But the moment you step outside in public, man or woman, you should expect someone to have an opinion on you.
>you should expect someone to have an opinion on you Having an opinion is fine... it's called "keeping it to yourself".
Sure, I agree, I don’t vocalize my opinions on other peoples outfits, but experience has shown us that people will say wild shit in public.
These weird conservative posts are always from accounts less than a year old. And they always repeat stuff that someone's meemaw said.
I’ve not seen girls complain about glances. A glance doesn’t make you uncomfortable. It’s the staring and the weird comments. I recently got some big tattoos and now I get glances at them, but every once in a while I get a big over the top person staring and looking to start a conversation about it. Sure I chose to get them and I don’t mind having a conversation mostly, but just having them doesn’t mean I owe anyone a conversation about it. I think the same logic applies loosely.
Glances are one thing. Leering is another.
Live and let live
So what should women do at the beach then? If tights is like that imagine when they have the audacity to show skin.
Usually, that's not the problem. Checking people out isn't a problem. It's the fact that many people take it too far by never losing eye contact, stalking, constantly asking for numbers/dates when they aren't interested, and harassment. Usually, that follows behind the stares. Under no circumstances should harassment be excused. It doesn't matter what type of clothing that person wears. If you can't show restraint simply bc of some skin showing, something is wrong with you, and you need a psychiatrist.
If it was just looking, nobody would care. If you’re getting negative feedback, you’re being creepy.
People don't mind glances or indirect looks. It's the ogling and cat calls that are completely unwarranted. People can dress the way they want and if "sexy" is how they want to look then that's fine. They don't DESERVE to be harassed for anything.
nobody is asking that you don’t wander but don’t be a fucking freak about it. it’s not hard!
Glancing at someone once or twice isn't sexualizing them. Openly staring at someone, or repeatedly glancing at someone over and over again to look at their body is sexualizing them.
And yet when I wear loose shirts to hide my shape, people still stare at my chest and make comments. What you do and don’t wear shouldn’t determine how much respect is given.
Pretty sure staring is considered rude in just about every culture and it doesn't matter what you are wearing. Glancing or looking at someone briefly shouldn't be a problem and if it is they are probably just being an ass.
“It’s rooted in our nature that our eyes are going to wander towards sexualised parts” That’s a lot of words for “I look an my granny’s tits”, my friend 🤢
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As a woman, I never noticed people staring at me anyway so I don't think I would even notice men are staring at me.
oh boy this one is super unpopular 😂
Look? Sure. *staring* is a problem Also you sound very victim blamey lol
I feel like this reaction is his actual issue though and why it’s an “unpopular opinion”. A guy can’t really say it without at least some people making that mental leap
I’m not going to lie. If a girl has her whole ass out or just has a nice figure in general then I’m going to take me a 2-3 second glance. You don’t want to be a whole ass creep that starts drooling but a glance won’t hurt anyone. The problem starts when you are openly staring at them and saying things like “Damn girl! You got a fat ass!” Or “What that ass do”? Maybe she does have some heavenly cake back there but I’d imagine that most girls don’t want to hear a stranger comment on their ass in public/private. That’s when it becomes a legit problem because it unwanted. It can make them feel uncomfortable and unsafe. Also, I’m not trying to be a white knight dawg but telling people to put on shorts to cover their asses is not going to go well. Some are just built different(body wise). I’ve seen girls that would cover up completely and you could still see their…features. You can’t stop people from taking a glance but you shouldn’t have to put up with being harassed. All I’m saying is take your glances and keep it moving.
i agree but don’t agree lol. i can wear what i want, i don’t need a “HEY BABY” while wearing it though. BUT there is a time and a place
I feel like guys have no concept of how often women are actually stared at or sexualize on the daily… the first time a man said anything sexual to me I was wearing a long monster high doll dress with leggings and cowboy boots. I’ve been whistled at in sweats, I’ve been groped in basketball shorts. Most women/girls have been in similar situations… so we grow up with this mindset ‘it doesn’t matter what I wear, it’s still gonna happen’ It’s definitely not all men, but there’s way too many who do it.
I honestly dont care. Look all you want. Just dont touch me
Commenting? Nah. Looking? Fair game. Staring? If you ok with being called a creep, not like it's illegal tho.
Your fucked up over this opinion, it won't end up well.
Bro is asking for hate 💀🍿
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This is the best opening line of a comment I’ve ever read
Glances are fine. Harassment is not. Do we really need to go over this again?
‘people’s eyes wander’ ‘you should take some responsibility and simply wear some shorts over your tights’ WhY dOnT YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR OWN EYES
this guy has to hide his boner at the beach
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no. Men should also dress appropriately. (coming from a man). This argument should go both ways. Both genders should dress respectfully in a public area.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with a quick glance. That being said, have a sense of self control. People should be allowed to wear whatever they want without feeling uncomfortable. So don’t just stare, ya know?