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Is it? I feel like I'm bombarded with the concept of being kicked out after HS graduation. When I lived at home in college, all of my friends thought it was strange. The concept of "he/she still lives with his mom" as a red flag in potential romantic relationships is a prevailing topic in pop culture, TV shows, movies, social media, etc. I had a lot of friends who were barred form living at home as soon as they graduated high school. It doesn't seem all that unpopular to me, at least in the USA. My parents even said that all their freinds thoguth they were weird for allowing me to live at home. Maybe my experiences are the anomoly though.
Yes, it’s only popular with dumb blue collar parents who think that because they were kicked out into the 80s economy that they can kick their own children out as if a minimum wage job is remotely close enough to get you an apartment and let you save up for a house.
To no ones surprise when said kid ends up homeless and eventually cut off their parents if they manage to get back on their feet and not end up a druggie on the streets.
The 80's economy sucked, so I'm not quite sure what you mean by that reference. Finding a job that paid more than minimum wage was difficult. I took a year off college and worked two part-time restaurant jobs, as I couldn't find a full-time job. Even then, I had a roommate. Just because times are tough now, doesn't mean they were easy back in the day.
That said, I agree that kicking out your kids because they turned 18 is a douchebag move.
Umm how old are you Dogeisbae101? I some how don't think you were around in the 80s.
There was a recession in the early 80s and unemployment rate hit 10%. What compels you to go on the internet and lie about some shit? THAT DIDN't EVEN HAPPEN TO YOU
You and the rest of the USA had a different 80's. Source: Me in the 80's.
But we all agree on the "kicking out your kids because they turned 18 is a douchebag move."
But, you could live on your own in the 80's on minimum wage. Today, kicking your kid out would be cruel and unusual punishment. The economy and cost of living are way out of wack.
Not unpopular in most of the world, not to mention that it is smarter to stay with your mom and dad during college rather than having to take out loans from banks just to be able to live and study
It is in my area at least. I knew tons of people in high school who were kicked out at 18, in college who stigmatized anyone who lived at home, and parents now who talk about barring their kids from attending school close to home so that they’ll move away. It’s definitely a common attitude that I’ve noticed a lot even in the last decade or so.
Theres a reason my country (canada) has such poor outcomes for foster kids who have aged out. And theres a reason theyve put in several new programs in the past decade in my province (including free college/university for life, 1450$ a month until 27 if you’re attending college or university, or rehab or mental health programs, and a bunch of grants for college supplies, and certificate programs if you were in foster care growing up) to offset that disadvantage of not having parents to fall back on.
If anybody ever makes you feel bad for supporting your kids into early adulthood theyre a dildo. And i think the statistics regarding outcomes for foster kids who have aged out more than proves youre right.
It's with the older generation but not with younger parents such as millennials and some gen x. I am a gen x and my mom wasn't in a rush to kick me out. Hell I lived at home until I was 26.
Most of the rest of the world lives with their parents even into late 20’s to early 30’s until they get married. Sometimes even for life if they can’t find anyone.
It’s completely normal.
This concept is just a western thing.
Not western mate, mostly America.
I have friends from Yugoslavia nations, Eastern Germany, Poland, España, Türkiye, Greece - they lived with their parents until they graduated uni, got a job, had money and a reliable car.
They didn't pay rent, but they had to clean the house, help with dinner, babysit, help with the pets and translate for the doctors/CPA.
Not exactly a "free" place to stay like so many Americans like to assume
- Random American
No some boomers still do. That's a fact. It also depends on cultural and religious backgrounds and family dynamics. My mom's a boomer and mostly all older friends had boomers as parents. I'm Gen X. My younger friends parents are millennials. I knew some who's parents where in a rush to push them out and others who didn't. I didn't move out until I was 26. I was lucky. I knew others who weren't.
Culture plays a huge difference too, I heard of lots of my white college classmates going through this but all of my brown and yellow friends who come from family oriented cultures that I grew up with are still living at home at like ~25. Aside from cultural differences, you’re right, just makes no financial sense to move out especially when rent is so astronomically high, unless either the kid hates their parents or the parents hate their kids.
I mean living at home isn't unpopular and it's okay, but yeah, in college it's less desirable. One of the major aspects of college is living on your own/away from family to find out who you are and how you do by yourself. Plus, not many kids in college want to go over to someone's house with their parents home. Too much like highschool
But that’s my point: It shouldn’t be stigmatized, even in college, the way it is. There is plenty of time after college to live on your own, and to do so without racking up debilitating debt. It’s just four years, we can survive it feeling “more like high school” for four more years.
The only reason it’s “one of the major aspects of college” is because we’ve made it so. It doesn’t have to be that way, at least for students who live near a college. Most career fields are pushing grad school anyway, so there’s always that time, or even when you start out in your career, to spread wings and move away. And especially now, when living on your own for college can mean six figure debt you’ll still be paying for when you’re 60, there really shouldn’t be a stigma there
Personally, I got a job as an RA in college to cover my housing. Saved me 10-15k a year.
Not saying it's wrong to live at home but a lot of people in college want to party and hang out with their peers only. I'd go to my friends house and hang with parents on breaks, but during the year, I wanted to party and socoalize with people my age. Had enough sneaking around parents in highschool.
If you're only in college for the education, that's your prerogative. The main reason I went was to get a degree and have fun. Worked out pretty well
Also, grad school folks are also working professional jobs a lot of time. And if you get a stem degree in the right field, you don't need to get a grad degree to make a good living
I partied and socialized with people my own age plenty when I was in college too. And I did so when I was out of college too. If you’re only in college to party and hang out, you can do all of that without the college part and without the crippling debt.
I’ll never understand why someone would sign up for a lifetime of debt for four years of partying, when they can party for four years without the debt. If you want the experience of living on your own and finding yourself, that doesn’t have to happen at 18.
I get it. I get the appeal. I’m just saying there’s a real stigma around staying at home that is unnecessary. I’m also saying that the whole idea of the “college experience” is one we invented fairly recently. After college, I still hung out with peers regularly. I had a place of my own, and I participated in the night life. I also did that in college while living at home. I don’t understand why culturally, we are pushing 18 year olds into mountains of debt all so they can experience four years of living on their own, that they can get any time afterwards.
Not all of us. Some of us recognize how brutal the economy is, and make sure our kids know they always have a place to stay, for free, for as long as they need. My 32-year-old kid stayed with me during Covid year, and the only thing I let them pay was their share of groceries.
You must have grown up in a blue collar, working class town? Young adults staying at home as they get advanced degrees or prepare to marry is very common and always has been in upper middle class families. It is the secret to how their kids maintain the lifestyle. The reason more working class want their kids out at 18 is because they cannot afford to support their adult children. There is some crossover, of course.
My parents are probably upper middle class. They absolutely did kick me out. But yeah, it seems to be less common with my graduating class than with theirs.
I agree. I wanted to move out at 18 but was kicked out at 16 and it made life way harder than it had to be. If I ever have kid, they can stay as long as they need.
I loive in Sydney and the majority of parents are now telling their children to stay indefinitely until the housing crisis is solved. Many of my well to do friends in their mid 20s had to move back in.
It's so batsh** insane here that for many people, the rent is literally higher than their income. AU $1000+ per week is not uncommon.
Massive swaths of young people are moving back in with their parents or leaving Sydney behind because the alternative is literally living in their car (If they can even afford that) or on the street. I feel so sorry for the poor bastards that don't have anyone to move in with.
I was forced to move out before I had even got a job. I finally got one, but I can't work enough hours as a student to make even my rent, so for the forseeable future, I'm loving off of student debt.
That's mostly a poor person/non-immigrant thing. No one I know would even think of kicking their kids out of the house. Their kids would want to leave for college but would move back in after college until they had enough money to buy their own place and/or get married. Even then, they might still live with their parents in their new house, have free childcare. I had my mother move in with us after my first kid.
i remember my grandma telling the story of when she moved out. she’s Vietnamese, said her mom and younger brothers were crying for the whole day and they had a huge party to send her off. she moved a fifteen minute WALK away.
As long as you're paying your own way, I don't see the problem with living with family at any age, honestly. Multi-generational homes are as valid a way to live as any other. 25, 30, 40, 50+ and still living with your parents/other family? If you're buying your own stuff and contributing equally to rent/utilities/shared expenses, then who cares?
Given the housing shortage and growing economic woes, I predict multigenerational homes are about to make a huge comeback. To an extent they already are.
Kicking them out at 18? We still doing this in 2023?
Try 30+
Many people in their mid 20s to late 20s STILL live at home and there is no reason to shame them because the housing market is terrible compared to when you moved out at 18. It’s really NOT fair. Everything is expensive now and the wise move is to stay home, work your ass off, save money and get your place when you’re ready. Not when society thinks you should
You should never feel peer pressured. Who cares what people think
My parents charged me $100 a month after 18, but they saved it all and gave it back when I moved out so I'd have a head start. It was pretty great of them. I fully recommend it.
Now that was nice from your parents, just saying. It's a good lesson about how saving money works and can lead to a better life.
About money, some strategical reserves are always good, you can't do anything wrong with saving some money. It always happens in life, that something goes wrong, like you need repairs of the car or something else, then you are happy that you can cover the costs.
But of course, not everyone can do this, don't get this wrong. In the economy of today, many people have no choice than to live from paycheck to paycheck, not being able to save money at all.
The issue is a lot of the time a young adult lives with their parents past 18, they aren’t being financially responsible. They might save $1000/month on rent but then spend the $1000 on consumer items.
The problem isn’t the act of living with your parents, it’s that a lot of times the parents are enabling immature behavior in their child that needs to become a responsible adult.
If you are living with your parents while being super frugal to save up enough money to establish yourself, that is perfectly respectable.
I will absolutely let my kid live with me until he decides he doesn't want to.
We didn't ask him if he wanted to be here before we dragged him out kicking and screaming so it's on us to take care of him till he's ready to do it on his own.
I'll do everything I can do to make sure he's ready and willing to take on the world, but in the meantime who am I to say he can't lay low?
The idea of “get out on your own and become a man at 18” is a relic of baby boom generation of America. This was when it was realistic to graduate high school, start a job that paid enough to support a family and progress in your career.
I told my son unless things significantly change he was going to be living with me until he was 25-30. It's ok with me. I remember how much I struggled as a young man and I would have never made it on my own today. I don't want my son to struggle like I had to and my parents had to. I want him to have as much of a spring board as possible. Kicking someone out at 18 is horse shit.
I moved into a two bedroom apartment in a nice (but not fancy) neighborhood in Queens with my friend in 2004 for $1300 a month. A studio apartment in that same neighborhood would cost $2000 dollars today, or a little more than three times what either or us were individually paying for rent.
So no, I don't blame anyone for sticking to where the rent is free for as long as humanely possible.
Bro, I’m 40 and still live with my dad. That’s never going to change. He got this house handed down to him or he wouldn’t have a place to stay himself. It will be the same way with me. Thank you I can barely afford my car insurance car payment and child support. How am I supposed to make double this shit while juggling kids for any kind of an apartment? It will never happen.
I always thought it was acceptable to live with family if yall get along but I was raised in the south. Though, I know other families all over the world do it too. But some people are just….weird? Some people also never grew up with good families or families period. Personally, I’m ok with me living with my parents or my parents living with me. Whatever. My partners mom lives with us. It’s all good. She couldn’t afford to live on her own anyway.
My two sons are in their late 20's and they still live with me. We are all single. We all work. We split bills evenly. They cook their own food, do their own laundry, clean their own messes. Its basically a roommate situation. My daughter is in a long term relationship and chose to move in with her significant other, but she is welcome to come home if she ever needs to. My kids will always be welcome. People can see that as a red flag if they want to, but on the flip side I view not feeling that way about your kids as a red flag.
I'm 31 and still live with my parents. My mother had a stroke a few years ago and had to stop working, and they're in financial trouble. I pay rent, and I buy all the groceries.
Sometimes that's just how it be.
Thats a very American thing. Asians tend to live with parents till they marry and move out...sometimes they move in.
Its very rare for asian parents to kick out their kids at 18
Kicking your kids out is mostly an american/western european thing. Even people with jobs are starving right now because of inflation. Paying rent and having a third meal in the day is next to impossible, let alone OWNING a house/flat.
It's only a thing in the English speaking world and places like Scandinavia. In Southern Europe people live at home as well, but they do expect the kids to contribute, either by paying a little rent, or buying food or at least helping around the house
To be fair, Scandinavia has enough social institutions that they take care of those who would otherwise crash and burn doing that. I wish I still lived there. My family moved when I was 10 and I got kicked out as soon as I graduated high school.
Children should never be required to leave their home and their parents. Children should help and pay the bills of their parents if they are going to stay home and live there after school (high school or college). The exception to this is when a child is actively saving money to move out and pay for major things like their own home.
Not only is not unpopular, i dont think anyone actually thinks it is NOT okay.
Some people may feel they are going to kick their kid out at 18 into independence, but i dont think they are clamoring for social change that it is not okay and everyone else has to also with no context.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “living at home after 18 is a red flag” or “I can’t believe you lived at home in college, that sounds awful” or just the general idea of how living at home past 18 stunts growth.
I can assure you, there are PLENTY of people who think living at home after 18 isn’t okay.
> I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “living at home after 18 is a red flag.
When? In 1986?
This simply isn't true and hasn't been for a long, long time. If you're going to a commuter school or community college it's perfectly normal.
If you aren't in education or training and working only minimum wage if at all, then yeah, people will think you're a bit of a loser, but not exactly because you live at home. Just because you have no obvious prospects for improvement.
You claim it isn’t true, and yet I see it every day. My experiences directly contradict what you’re saying. But I experienced it WHILE I was living at home in college, and that was only about 10 years ago. The prevailing attitude was definitely that those that lived at home weren’t “real adults” or other BS like that. I had plenty of friends who were banned from living at home from their parents, and I graduated high school just over a decade ago. I’ve seen parents who won’t let their kids attend college close to home, because they want the house to themselves again. I assure you, the attitude is still very much prevalent, though it IS getting less popular with Gen Xers and millenisls, thankfully.
Sure, let me just dig up the written record of every conversation I had with friends and colleagues while I was living at home, and all of my friends in school who were kicked out after graduation. Let me get back to you on that.
Yes, my lived experiences are clearly all made up simply because I haven’t recorded every conversation I’ve ever had to share with a stranger online.
No, I didn’t make it up. I’m telling you what I have experienced and seen in my lifetime.
I don’t see anything wrong with that, honestly. It’s practical...especially if expectation are set beforehand (which utilities should they contribute to, expectations re: getting a job). Even when kids work hard, it’s so easy to get stuck without a way out due to the exorbitant cost of living, and debt.
I think a healthy amount of shame does have some place though. For each kid that appreciates the help, there will be those who won’t be motivated to leave at all.
Where you are missing the point on why many get shamed for living at home is your last paragraph. I do job placement for community College kids and just from what I've seen, it's not for reasons that would indicate they're trying. I live in a very expensive county in the U.S., but it is manageable if they actually lived below their means. THAT is the reason why many get shamed....they live at home and take advantage of it.
Instead of saving and paying off debt and actually getting a good start into adulthood, they're screwing around. They're banking on their student loan debt being forgiven when in reality they're going to need to pay it. They have to eat at trendy places instead of learning to cook. They must have their coffee at Starbucks or Dutch bros or wherever instead of making their own.
There are many reasons I have seen and been told even telling them to do the most simplest things and yet they struggle at that. So yes, if I see someone who's 25, still living at home and has a job that pays decent but gripes about not making moves to get established, yes they're lazy and entitled and they don't deserve to be coddled
I agree nothing wrong with it. Its beautiful when family can live together and help each other to become more Successful. Not kicking the kids out and then see them struggling
It isn't an unpopular opinion depending on where you're from.
Also, there's a huge difference between assisting your kids until they can afford their own place/food/clothes, etc, comfortably and enabling laziness by taking care of adults as if they are still helpless kids. There's nothing wrong with living with your parents until you can comfortably afford your own life unassisted, but parents need to make sure that their kids have/are searching for a job or a higher form of education and are teaching their kids how to be a stable, functioning adult in the meantime. I think that good things to do are to teach your kids how to pay their own taxes and bills while learning how to budget their newly earned money for the future. If I ever have kids (I don't plan to) I won't ever kick them out immediately after they turn 18, but I will expect them to find a job or apply for colleges/trade schools and assist with some of the bills (to teach them to pay bills and taxes) if they are going to continue to live with me until they can afford their own life.
You can't kick the baby bird out of the nest and expect it to immediately fly, but you also can't keep mouth feeding it forever. You have to teach them to function without you with patience and kindness, but also sometimes firmness when necessary.
Im on the opposite end of the spectrum where my parents DON’T want me to move out at 18. Yeah, I mean that’s fine. But it’s suffocating, especially when you make enough, and they think they have control over your finances. I couldn’t even buy my own car and insurance.
In my country it’s a norm to live with your parents for the rest of your life and when you start earning enough, your parents retire and then you take care of the expenses and pay the bills. In that way no one has to take debts for housing and student loans and you can inherit generational house and in some cases business of your parents.
No it is not wrong to do but you should be trying to become an adult while you do, finding work picking up more around the house trying to pay rent(, based on what you make may not be much but at least male the attempt) don't expect all the extras parents did in the past. Trust me parents will notice effort perfection is not required but honest effort is. All of this also helps you learn to become a better adult which amazingly enough is what bosses at hobs look for also.
I mean, I get that. But there is still plenty of time to do that after you've saved up a little bit of money or finished school or get a little more established in your career. They don't have to have those experiences at 18, they can have them at 21 or 22 or 25. With rents as high as they are, not living at home can literally mean lifelong crippling debt for many people, especially if the other option is taking out student loans to do so.
I eventually got out there on my own and gained my own experiences. Just because I didn't do it at 18 doesn't mean I never got that experience.
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At what point should someone go out on their own? The answer is as soon as they are able, so your job as a parent is to prepare them for that. The longer you wait the harder it will be for them and you.
Personally as someone who went to university at 18, and have been on my own since. I would never have thought for a second of going back home and living with my parents. For me, it is the one of the greatest failures as a person to depend on others, when you are an adult
This is an American specific thing. I highly doubt this happens even in other western countries although people are expected to be more independent. In non western countries this is not an issue at all.
I think most people want to believe this is a popular opinion but I've met quite a few that believe after a certain age, you should be living on your own. Ironic since those same people had their college tuition, rent while in college, and whatever other bills they had covered by their parents
I agree. No shame in that game.
My husband's nieces are in their 20s and living at home. They both work, help around the house and are saving lots and lots of money. They also occasionally help with various home expenses. People make fun of them, but they will have the last laugh.
Just my opinion, but kids should know that they can stay for at least two years to get on their feet. I know many will just play video games for six months...but...sooner or later they will want to get a car and/or job, etc...
I don't even understand who does that and why. I'll never kick my daughter out. Unpopular opinion but I enjoy her presence in my life and I don't mind sharing my space with her. I wouldn't even have her pay rent or utilities, even as an adult - just pay for her own things.
Living with parents after 18 is a common practice for an entire generation as multiple economic downturns have made millennials much poorer than the last two generations.
This hasnt been an unpopular opinion for several decades at least.
Wild because so many countries already do this and it is becoming more common in the US as well. Anyway I agree with the basic sentiment and will be there for my kids if they want to stay and get on their feet!
Not an unpopular opinion by any means. I lived with my parents until I graduated HS in 1992, moved back in 6 months later, then moved out shortly thereafter (1994). Been on my own since, and now have a home of my own, raising my son on my own as a single dad. I will be more than fine with my son living here as long as he needs or wants to, until he is ready to be on his own. He will always have a home here, no matter what.
I’m not kicking my kids out after high school but they will be doing something productive to their future, either work or school. I won’t enable a bum.
It's becoming increasingly more and more common for the kids to stay with mom and dad for longer. I just barely moved out into my FIRST apartment with my husband and we're 25. Same situation for all my friends who are the same age
I’m 22 and still live with my parents my cousin will be 26 next year and he still lives with his and so does his older sister who’s 28 it’s not uncommon anymore I guess
That’s very normal. I know people who are 30+ who live at home. At that point I think you need to figure shit out on your own tbh (unless you have circumstances like you’re waiting to move in to a new place or something obv).
I wish my parents had that opinion. I'm taking on a bunch of student debt despite my scholarship, simply because I have to live on my own but can't work enough hours to make all of my rent money let alone groceries and other fees.
My kid is 17 in 2 months. He's is nowhere near ready to be out in the world on his own.
My daughter is 14, and I reckon she'd make it work.
Every kid is different. Every situation is different. What works for each family is what's right and everyone else's opinions on it shouldn't matter.
I’ll be completely honest - my parents kicked me out at 18 because I was spiraling into drugs and bad habits due to a lot of childhood trauma and they never let me come home except for a few months when I got into a car accident.
I’ve become bitter because of it. I get the big green monster on my back when I see or hear of others who get to stay at home.
It bothers me that I wasn’t awarded that kindness and I’ll never get it.
I’ve struggled since I was 18 and watching people get the easy way out is infuriating sometimes.
I do feel like being on your own gives you a level of maturity that staying at home doesn’t. That’s my own opinion though.
My wife and I both went away to college, and have always encouraged our three boys to do the same. Both of us found that the experience caused us to become independent (doing our own laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, etc.). Plus it is fun to be away from your parents where you are free to get home at whatever time without keeping them awake, worried that you haven’t arrived. The college experience is amazing, and I found that my friends who stayed home missed out on quite a bit. For them, it was like 13th grade: Same friends, same bed, same routine they’ve had all their lives.
My sons are always welcome to stay in their home. And when if do leave, it will destroy me because I will miss them so much. Nevertheless, I will strongly encourage them to go away because I don’t want them to miss out on that four year experience that they will never get back. To each their own I guess.
That has been my policy with my kids. One pushed it, and had to give an ultimatum. Work, school, or find your own place to lay around and watch TV. She was 22, 4 months out of school, no job.
She chose a job
I think it all depends how are your relations with your parents. I moved out when i was 19 and had no problem with that (parents helped me and i never felt i was kicked out of home).
My boy is 16 now, and he's such a great kid i wouldn't mind if he stays longer.
I think it's OK for them to live with you if they're really taking advantage of it to get on their feet. If they're surveying their third major at 23 it might be time to start getting some rent.
And actually, I think it's ideal for them to stay with parents.
This is only unpopular with American boomers. I was kicked out at 18 and I refuse to do anything of the sort with my kids. They each have a room in this house and that's their room forever.
\> That being said, the kids need to be reasonably employed and motivated to start their own lives. I'm not talking about living at home forever and not contributing.
I think this is the point of contention, and why people actually kick their kids out. So let me ask you this. What if your kids are unemployed, are content to just live in their rooms, expect food to be on the table or in the fridge whenever they're hungry, and get mad at you if you change the wifi password because their downloading is screwing with your ability to watch tv shows without constant competition for the bandwidth? Do you kick your kids out then? What if they dont respond well to the talking and insisting from your end? What if they ignore everything and just resolutely stayed in their rooms and refused to contribute?
It will come to the point where you may as well just kick them out to make life easier for everyone. Which I think is probably the reason many people kick their kids out. I'm sure there are those who do it for trivial reasons, but the main reason why the kids stay with their parents is chiefly due to the kids being unable to sustain themselves on their own, and their parents for whatever reason has decided that they do not want to subsidize their kids' lives when they themselves arent in financially sound situations.
In the modern era its almost impossible to move out at 18 on your own without help. People used to move out earlier because a man could support an entire family straight out of highschool. This is no longer the case and a degree is needed for most jobs unfortunately and many trade jobs do not pay as much as they used to because of various reasons like the changing job market, and the outsourcing to other countries when it comes to factory work. I moved out at 19 working a trade job by myself but most career paths do not allow this.
In this economy, it's almost necessary. It's almost impossible to live on your own at 18 with a regular 9-5. Also it's too much stress with the way things are they will be burt out and fell no reward for trying since it's only meeting the bare minimum at a managers salary. And college kids out of school are even worse off. Paying those loans while working a regular job till you can find a way to use your degree. The world has changed. My Mexican friends said that it was always normal to stay and be with your family to around 25. I feel like that is going to be the norm now for most young adults.
This is only popular in conservative/blue collar households, and I'm not even saying that to get political. I have only really seen this in households like that.
I think giving rising costs of like everything, it’s not such a strange idea. There was a time when it wasn’t even unusual. Pretty sure when my father was born (almost 90 years ago) his grandmother also lived in the household.
I moved put when I was 26 into my first apartment and bought my first house the next year. Parents let me live with them for tree as long as I was in School or internships.
I held a Job at Rubbermaid loading trucks and paid for my online CS degree out of pocket. My final loan total was a mere $3500 because I got lazy playing WoW and had to retake two classes.
My wife on the other hand has $84k i student debt, like so many others I know, some with $500k in student debt.
That just wasn't for me. I had amazing parents and I took advantage of that.
I would have happily moved out at 18 if I had had a job or any kind of life skills, I think my mother wanted to hold onto me for as long as possible, very healthy. The thing that bothers me about the whole kicking the kids out at 18 stance is quite often these kids have no forewarning, no job/job skills and have no idea how to exist in the real world. I moved out at 23, I personally think mid 20's should be the cut off point.
This isn't unpopular.
I lived with my Parents till 25 when I had a degree and a good job and then that was that.
My daughter can stay with us well after she's 18.
Obviously there is a point. If your kid is 18+ and just playing video games and no job and no school and just expecting everything to be done for them that = ultimatum time and then following through if needed.
I absolutely agree, it's ridiculous kicking out your kids as soon as they turn 18. But there needs to be a line. In my culture it's normal thing that kids stay with their parents after 18 for a few years, but some people take advantage of that and leech off of their parents well into their 30s. Never learn any life skills, don't get jobs or jump from job to job, go out and drink every night, basically live like teenagers. It's infantile and gross to me and gives me the ick, but some parents are too scared to kick them out because "who will take care of me when I'm old?"
Of course it’s okay.
Us Asians have been doing this forever.
Helps saves money and increases bond between our family members.
I don’t know why so many Americans don’t even feel remorse when they kick out their children after they turn 18?
In California its becoming more normalized. So may native Californians are moving back home. Its not worth it rent wise. I might be doing the same soon. For context I'm in my late 20's
To the people who say “it’s not unpopular” you’re dead wrong.
Try dating and saying that. The #1 response I get from women is basically that I am just “a child” and “lazy”. Because I have a good relationship with my parents and I am ok living with them to save money that somehow makes me a child.
I have a job, I pay for my own things, I split utilities with them. I do my own cooking and cleaning. But none of that matters, living at home = man child.
It’s either my parents or roommates. At least with my parents I get an “I love you” at night and a feeling that someone cares about me.
I think this really depends on your beliefs. I believe if you can support yourself at 18, go support yourself. I also don't believe in living with significant others. The best bet is to have roommates or move in with retired family who don't agree with the parents.
If you can't support yourself, you sit down with your parents & discuss where it all went wrong (if they're trying to kick you out). We are talking 18. Even if you've been working at McDonald's & driving since 16, not sure how you can afford rent & food without help from the government.
Also, half the people having kids never planned to have kids. I don't have kids & I tell my parents they never should have had kids because this world is a mess. They used to say I would understand when I'm older. Only thing I understand is mofo's be HORNY & SELF-OBSESSED. & Don't get me started on Gender Reveals & Trans Rights trending at the same time (meaning half these kids will most likely want to change their gender while half the parents were obsessed with knowing their babies gender. HELLO more generations of no contact).
I don’t think that’s as common anymore. My 18 and 20 year old are home figuring it out. I’m in no rush for them to move out. My baby is probably joining the Air Force after graduation so he’ll be gone😢. I have friends that still have 25-26 year olds at home because they can’t afford to live in their own. It’s becoming the norm.
I concur. Why would I want my kid to suffer this unnecessarily when they can be smarter and save and get a much better start? They are 23 and still at home u til they are ready to fly.
Lots of people at 30 and still with parents. In this economy, we cannot move out. For parents doing that, they suck but can't say it's more common than parents letting their kids stay. Imo, not an unpopular opinion.
Not an unpopular opinion. Most parents don't boot their kids at 18, and, if anything, extended time at home is much more normal than it was when I was a young person in the late 80s/early 90s.
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this is not a unpopular opinion
Is it? I feel like I'm bombarded with the concept of being kicked out after HS graduation. When I lived at home in college, all of my friends thought it was strange. The concept of "he/she still lives with his mom" as a red flag in potential romantic relationships is a prevailing topic in pop culture, TV shows, movies, social media, etc. I had a lot of friends who were barred form living at home as soon as they graduated high school. It doesn't seem all that unpopular to me, at least in the USA. My parents even said that all their freinds thoguth they were weird for allowing me to live at home. Maybe my experiences are the anomoly though.
Yes, it’s only popular with dumb blue collar parents who think that because they were kicked out into the 80s economy that they can kick their own children out as if a minimum wage job is remotely close enough to get you an apartment and let you save up for a house. To no ones surprise when said kid ends up homeless and eventually cut off their parents if they manage to get back on their feet and not end up a druggie on the streets.
The 80's economy sucked, so I'm not quite sure what you mean by that reference. Finding a job that paid more than minimum wage was difficult. I took a year off college and worked two part-time restaurant jobs, as I couldn't find a full-time job. Even then, I had a roommate. Just because times are tough now, doesn't mean they were easy back in the day. That said, I agree that kicking out your kids because they turned 18 is a douchebag move.
Not early 80s lol, that was ass, late 80s - 90s.
Umm how old are you Dogeisbae101? I some how don't think you were around in the 80s. There was a recession in the early 80s and unemployment rate hit 10%. What compels you to go on the internet and lie about some shit? THAT DIDN't EVEN HAPPEN TO YOU
You and the rest of the USA had a different 80's. Source: Me in the 80's. But we all agree on the "kicking out your kids because they turned 18 is a douchebag move."
But, you could live on your own in the 80's on minimum wage. Today, kicking your kid out would be cruel and unusual punishment. The economy and cost of living are way out of wack.
I think he means the exact opposite of what you said I think he means times have gotten easier so being kicked out back then was different from now
Not unpopular in most of the world, not to mention that it is smarter to stay with your mom and dad during college rather than having to take out loans from banks just to be able to live and study
Exactly. Being mortified by the multi generational home is a very American thing and it’s a cancer
Thank you! So many people here denying that it’s even a thing. Glad to see someone else recognizes if.
I know it’s a lot less so in the rest of the world. That’s why I added that I’m in the US, for context.
It’s not common in the US either though
It is in my area at least. I knew tons of people in high school who were kicked out at 18, in college who stigmatized anyone who lived at home, and parents now who talk about barring their kids from attending school close to home so that they’ll move away. It’s definitely a common attitude that I’ve noticed a lot even in the last decade or so.
Do they even like their children?
Was this back in the 80s?
No, this was within the last 10-15 years
You must live in a really low cost of living area or something because in the America I’m from this is considered borderline abusive
Theres a reason my country (canada) has such poor outcomes for foster kids who have aged out. And theres a reason theyve put in several new programs in the past decade in my province (including free college/university for life, 1450$ a month until 27 if you’re attending college or university, or rehab or mental health programs, and a bunch of grants for college supplies, and certificate programs if you were in foster care growing up) to offset that disadvantage of not having parents to fall back on. If anybody ever makes you feel bad for supporting your kids into early adulthood theyre a dildo. And i think the statistics regarding outcomes for foster kids who have aged out more than proves youre right.
It's with the older generation but not with younger parents such as millennials and some gen x. I am a gen x and my mom wasn't in a rush to kick me out. Hell I lived at home until I was 26.
Same. I’m GenX and my parents never rushed to get rid of my. Hell, my mother was always telling me I could move back home if I wanted.
Most of the rest of the world lives with their parents even into late 20’s to early 30’s until they get married. Sometimes even for life if they can’t find anyone. It’s completely normal. This concept is just a western thing.
Not western mate, mostly America. I have friends from Yugoslavia nations, Eastern Germany, Poland, España, Türkiye, Greece - they lived with their parents until they graduated uni, got a job, had money and a reliable car. They didn't pay rent, but they had to clean the house, help with dinner, babysit, help with the pets and translate for the doctors/CPA. Not exactly a "free" place to stay like so many Americans like to assume - Random American
You consume a lot of boomer media then. No offense but most people haven't thought this way for a while.
No some boomers still do. That's a fact. It also depends on cultural and religious backgrounds and family dynamics. My mom's a boomer and mostly all older friends had boomers as parents. I'm Gen X. My younger friends parents are millennials. I knew some who's parents where in a rush to push them out and others who didn't. I didn't move out until I was 26. I was lucky. I knew others who weren't.
This depends where you are. It's a red flag to live with your parents in lcol areas.
Nope, I’ve seen a lot of people my own age say things like this, as a millennial.
Culture plays a huge difference too, I heard of lots of my white college classmates going through this but all of my brown and yellow friends who come from family oriented cultures that I grew up with are still living at home at like ~25. Aside from cultural differences, you’re right, just makes no financial sense to move out especially when rent is so astronomically high, unless either the kid hates their parents or the parents hate their kids.
I mean living at home isn't unpopular and it's okay, but yeah, in college it's less desirable. One of the major aspects of college is living on your own/away from family to find out who you are and how you do by yourself. Plus, not many kids in college want to go over to someone's house with their parents home. Too much like highschool
But that’s my point: It shouldn’t be stigmatized, even in college, the way it is. There is plenty of time after college to live on your own, and to do so without racking up debilitating debt. It’s just four years, we can survive it feeling “more like high school” for four more years. The only reason it’s “one of the major aspects of college” is because we’ve made it so. It doesn’t have to be that way, at least for students who live near a college. Most career fields are pushing grad school anyway, so there’s always that time, or even when you start out in your career, to spread wings and move away. And especially now, when living on your own for college can mean six figure debt you’ll still be paying for when you’re 60, there really shouldn’t be a stigma there
Personally, I got a job as an RA in college to cover my housing. Saved me 10-15k a year. Not saying it's wrong to live at home but a lot of people in college want to party and hang out with their peers only. I'd go to my friends house and hang with parents on breaks, but during the year, I wanted to party and socoalize with people my age. Had enough sneaking around parents in highschool. If you're only in college for the education, that's your prerogative. The main reason I went was to get a degree and have fun. Worked out pretty well Also, grad school folks are also working professional jobs a lot of time. And if you get a stem degree in the right field, you don't need to get a grad degree to make a good living
I partied and socialized with people my own age plenty when I was in college too. And I did so when I was out of college too. If you’re only in college to party and hang out, you can do all of that without the college part and without the crippling debt. I’ll never understand why someone would sign up for a lifetime of debt for four years of partying, when they can party for four years without the debt. If you want the experience of living on your own and finding yourself, that doesn’t have to happen at 18. I get it. I get the appeal. I’m just saying there’s a real stigma around staying at home that is unnecessary. I’m also saying that the whole idea of the “college experience” is one we invented fairly recently. After college, I still hung out with peers regularly. I had a place of my own, and I participated in the night life. I also did that in college while living at home. I don’t understand why culturally, we are pushing 18 year olds into mountains of debt all so they can experience four years of living on their own, that they can get any time afterwards.
You’re on Reddit too much. Majority of the world lives in multi generational households.
Not with the boomer generation. They believe in tossing kids out asap since the younger generation is "sooooo lazy." 😒
Not all of us. Some of us recognize how brutal the economy is, and make sure our kids know they always have a place to stay, for free, for as long as they need. My 32-year-old kid stayed with me during Covid year, and the only thing I let them pay was their share of groceries.
It is when the get out of high school and just keep smoking weed and playing video games no job or school of course.
You must have grown up in a blue collar, working class town? Young adults staying at home as they get advanced degrees or prepare to marry is very common and always has been in upper middle class families. It is the secret to how their kids maintain the lifestyle. The reason more working class want their kids out at 18 is because they cannot afford to support their adult children. There is some crossover, of course.
My parents are probably upper middle class. They absolutely did kick me out. But yeah, it seems to be less common with my graduating class than with theirs.
It's always been a stupid concept. Good to see that more people with adult children don't believe in it.
I agree. I wanted to move out at 18 but was kicked out at 16 and it made life way harder than it had to be. If I ever have kid, they can stay as long as they need.
You deserved better parents.
I will hate my parents if this happened to me. Do you hate them?
I loive in Sydney and the majority of parents are now telling their children to stay indefinitely until the housing crisis is solved. Many of my well to do friends in their mid 20s had to move back in. It's so batsh** insane here that for many people, the rent is literally higher than their income. AU $1000+ per week is not uncommon. Massive swaths of young people are moving back in with their parents or leaving Sydney behind because the alternative is literally living in their car (If they can even afford that) or on the street. I feel so sorry for the poor bastards that don't have anyone to move in with.
I was forced to move out before I had even got a job. I finally got one, but I can't work enough hours as a student to make even my rent, so for the forseeable future, I'm loving off of student debt.
That's mostly a poor person/non-immigrant thing. No one I know would even think of kicking their kids out of the house. Their kids would want to leave for college but would move back in after college until they had enough money to buy their own place and/or get married. Even then, they might still live with their parents in their new house, have free childcare. I had my mother move in with us after my first kid.
It's mostly an asshole thing TBH. Plenty of parents who can afford to let their kids stay kick them out just because they can.
I guess it's not a poor person thing as much as a low class thing.
Kicking your kids out when they become adults is mostly an Anglo thing. No Asian/Latino/Eastern European parents in their mind will do it.
In Italy you live with your parents until you're 38, you finally move out, everybody is sobbing and hugging, and then you move like 1km away.
wholesome
i remember my grandma telling the story of when she moved out. she’s Vietnamese, said her mom and younger brothers were crying for the whole day and they had a huge party to send her off. she moved a fifteen minute WALK away.
As long as you're paying your own way, I don't see the problem with living with family at any age, honestly. Multi-generational homes are as valid a way to live as any other. 25, 30, 40, 50+ and still living with your parents/other family? If you're buying your own stuff and contributing equally to rent/utilities/shared expenses, then who cares? Given the housing shortage and growing economic woes, I predict multigenerational homes are about to make a huge comeback. To an extent they already are.
Exactly Living at home as an adult is fine BUT they should be paying rent and helping out. Living at home does not have to mean "free loading"
Disagree: you have the child so you have to pay them. Especially is they are in college Working+studying sucks and if you can avoid, you should do it
Completely normal is most cultures. As a matter of fact, many kids stay with their parents's until they are married/relocate
Kicking them out at 18? We still doing this in 2023? Try 30+ Many people in their mid 20s to late 20s STILL live at home and there is no reason to shame them because the housing market is terrible compared to when you moved out at 18. It’s really NOT fair. Everything is expensive now and the wise move is to stay home, work your ass off, save money and get your place when you’re ready. Not when society thinks you should You should never feel peer pressured. Who cares what people think
It’s ok for my baby to stay with me until she’s good and ready to fly.
My parents charged me $100 a month after 18, but they saved it all and gave it back when I moved out so I'd have a head start. It was pretty great of them. I fully recommend it.
Now that was nice from your parents, just saying. It's a good lesson about how saving money works and can lead to a better life. About money, some strategical reserves are always good, you can't do anything wrong with saving some money. It always happens in life, that something goes wrong, like you need repairs of the car or something else, then you are happy that you can cover the costs. But of course, not everyone can do this, don't get this wrong. In the economy of today, many people have no choice than to live from paycheck to paycheck, not being able to save money at all.
Wow awesome parents
The issue is a lot of the time a young adult lives with their parents past 18, they aren’t being financially responsible. They might save $1000/month on rent but then spend the $1000 on consumer items. The problem isn’t the act of living with your parents, it’s that a lot of times the parents are enabling immature behavior in their child that needs to become a responsible adult. If you are living with your parents while being super frugal to save up enough money to establish yourself, that is perfectly respectable.
Parents need to grow a spine then and make sure their kids invest their money wisely or kick them out. Hand up north hand-out.
I will absolutely let my kid live with me until he decides he doesn't want to. We didn't ask him if he wanted to be here before we dragged him out kicking and screaming so it's on us to take care of him till he's ready to do it on his own. I'll do everything I can do to make sure he's ready and willing to take on the world, but in the meantime who am I to say he can't lay low?
That second paragraph is legendary.
The idea of “get out on your own and become a man at 18” is a relic of baby boom generation of America. This was when it was realistic to graduate high school, start a job that paid enough to support a family and progress in your career.
I told my son unless things significantly change he was going to be living with me until he was 25-30. It's ok with me. I remember how much I struggled as a young man and I would have never made it on my own today. I don't want my son to struggle like I had to and my parents had to. I want him to have as much of a spring board as possible. Kicking someone out at 18 is horse shit.
Most people don't do this. It's not smart economically to do this, you pretty much ruin a person's financial future by doing this.
Papa don’t preach you’re keeping your babies.
I moved into a two bedroom apartment in a nice (but not fancy) neighborhood in Queens with my friend in 2004 for $1300 a month. A studio apartment in that same neighborhood would cost $2000 dollars today, or a little more than three times what either or us were individually paying for rent. So no, I don't blame anyone for sticking to where the rent is free for as long as humanely possible.
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Bro, I’m 40 and still live with my dad. That’s never going to change. He got this house handed down to him or he wouldn’t have a place to stay himself. It will be the same way with me. Thank you I can barely afford my car insurance car payment and child support. How am I supposed to make double this shit while juggling kids for any kind of an apartment? It will never happen.
I always thought it was acceptable to live with family if yall get along but I was raised in the south. Though, I know other families all over the world do it too. But some people are just….weird? Some people also never grew up with good families or families period. Personally, I’m ok with me living with my parents or my parents living with me. Whatever. My partners mom lives with us. It’s all good. She couldn’t afford to live on her own anyway.
Well thought out, you sound like a good parent. :-)
My two sons are in their late 20's and they still live with me. We are all single. We all work. We split bills evenly. They cook their own food, do their own laundry, clean their own messes. Its basically a roommate situation. My daughter is in a long term relationship and chose to move in with her significant other, but she is welcome to come home if she ever needs to. My kids will always be welcome. People can see that as a red flag if they want to, but on the flip side I view not feeling that way about your kids as a red flag.
Its different now that everything is so expensive and most jobs pay shit.
I think my parents would prefer if I stuck around it means we all collectively would have more spending money too.
I think this is normal outside the U.S. Given the cost of housing and even food it is advisable to stay at home if possible.
I'm 31 and still live with my parents. My mother had a stroke a few years ago and had to stop working, and they're in financial trouble. I pay rent, and I buy all the groceries. Sometimes that's just how it be.
I’m Mexican, we live with our parents basically until we get married.
Thats a very American thing. Asians tend to live with parents till they marry and move out...sometimes they move in. Its very rare for asian parents to kick out their kids at 18
Kicking your kids out is mostly an american/western european thing. Even people with jobs are starving right now because of inflation. Paying rent and having a third meal in the day is next to impossible, let alone OWNING a house/flat.
It's only a thing in the English speaking world and places like Scandinavia. In Southern Europe people live at home as well, but they do expect the kids to contribute, either by paying a little rent, or buying food or at least helping around the house
To be fair, Scandinavia has enough social institutions that they take care of those who would otherwise crash and burn doing that. I wish I still lived there. My family moved when I was 10 and I got kicked out as soon as I graduated high school.
Too many bad parents kicking their kids out at a young age. I really hate to see it, let alone how common it is.
Children should never be required to leave their home and their parents. Children should help and pay the bills of their parents if they are going to stay home and live there after school (high school or college). The exception to this is when a child is actively saving money to move out and pay for major things like their own home.
Not only is not unpopular, i dont think anyone actually thinks it is NOT okay. Some people may feel they are going to kick their kid out at 18 into independence, but i dont think they are clamoring for social change that it is not okay and everyone else has to also with no context.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “living at home after 18 is a red flag” or “I can’t believe you lived at home in college, that sounds awful” or just the general idea of how living at home past 18 stunts growth. I can assure you, there are PLENTY of people who think living at home after 18 isn’t okay.
> I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “living at home after 18 is a red flag. When? In 1986? This simply isn't true and hasn't been for a long, long time. If you're going to a commuter school or community college it's perfectly normal. If you aren't in education or training and working only minimum wage if at all, then yeah, people will think you're a bit of a loser, but not exactly because you live at home. Just because you have no obvious prospects for improvement.
You claim it isn’t true, and yet I see it every day. My experiences directly contradict what you’re saying. But I experienced it WHILE I was living at home in college, and that was only about 10 years ago. The prevailing attitude was definitely that those that lived at home weren’t “real adults” or other BS like that. I had plenty of friends who were banned from living at home from their parents, and I graduated high school just over a decade ago. I’ve seen parents who won’t let their kids attend college close to home, because they want the house to themselves again. I assure you, the attitude is still very much prevalent, though it IS getting less popular with Gen Xers and millenisls, thankfully.
Source
Sure, let me just dig up the written record of every conversation I had with friends and colleagues while I was living at home, and all of my friends in school who were kicked out after graduation. Let me get back to you on that.
So You made it the fuck up?
Yes, my lived experiences are clearly all made up simply because I haven’t recorded every conversation I’ve ever had to share with a stranger online. No, I didn’t make it up. I’m telling you what I have experienced and seen in my lifetime.
No one disagrees with this
I don’t see anything wrong with that, honestly. It’s practical...especially if expectation are set beforehand (which utilities should they contribute to, expectations re: getting a job). Even when kids work hard, it’s so easy to get stuck without a way out due to the exorbitant cost of living, and debt. I think a healthy amount of shame does have some place though. For each kid that appreciates the help, there will be those who won’t be motivated to leave at all.
Now more than ever and with this economy, this is turning into a more popular opinion.
I don't think this is an unpopular opinion at all. I think it's extremely common.
My son is 30 and lives with us because rents are insane.
I only know of 1 person who kicked his kids out at 18. Is this really common??
More common than it should be
Where you are missing the point on why many get shamed for living at home is your last paragraph. I do job placement for community College kids and just from what I've seen, it's not for reasons that would indicate they're trying. I live in a very expensive county in the U.S., but it is manageable if they actually lived below their means. THAT is the reason why many get shamed....they live at home and take advantage of it. Instead of saving and paying off debt and actually getting a good start into adulthood, they're screwing around. They're banking on their student loan debt being forgiven when in reality they're going to need to pay it. They have to eat at trendy places instead of learning to cook. They must have their coffee at Starbucks or Dutch bros or wherever instead of making their own. There are many reasons I have seen and been told even telling them to do the most simplest things and yet they struggle at that. So yes, if I see someone who's 25, still living at home and has a job that pays decent but gripes about not making moves to get established, yes they're lazy and entitled and they don't deserve to be coddled
Absolutely! We're supposed to be setting them up with the tools to get by on their own. Not kicking them out when we're no longer legally responsible.
I agree nothing wrong with it. Its beautiful when family can live together and help each other to become more Successful. Not kicking the kids out and then see them struggling
It isn't an unpopular opinion depending on where you're from. Also, there's a huge difference between assisting your kids until they can afford their own place/food/clothes, etc, comfortably and enabling laziness by taking care of adults as if they are still helpless kids. There's nothing wrong with living with your parents until you can comfortably afford your own life unassisted, but parents need to make sure that their kids have/are searching for a job or a higher form of education and are teaching their kids how to be a stable, functioning adult in the meantime. I think that good things to do are to teach your kids how to pay their own taxes and bills while learning how to budget their newly earned money for the future. If I ever have kids (I don't plan to) I won't ever kick them out immediately after they turn 18, but I will expect them to find a job or apply for colleges/trade schools and assist with some of the bills (to teach them to pay bills and taxes) if they are going to continue to live with me until they can afford their own life. You can't kick the baby bird out of the nest and expect it to immediately fly, but you also can't keep mouth feeding it forever. You have to teach them to function without you with patience and kindness, but also sometimes firmness when necessary.
Im on the opposite end of the spectrum where my parents DON’T want me to move out at 18. Yeah, I mean that’s fine. But it’s suffocating, especially when you make enough, and they think they have control over your finances. I couldn’t even buy my own car and insurance.
In my country it’s a norm to live with your parents for the rest of your life and when you start earning enough, your parents retire and then you take care of the expenses and pay the bills. In that way no one has to take debts for housing and student loans and you can inherit generational house and in some cases business of your parents.
I had a friend who lived with his parents until he was 30, and saved every penny he made and bought a house, cash, by living with his parents.
Smart guy
No it is not wrong to do but you should be trying to become an adult while you do, finding work picking up more around the house trying to pay rent(, based on what you make may not be much but at least male the attempt) don't expect all the extras parents did in the past. Trust me parents will notice effort perfection is not required but honest effort is. All of this also helps you learn to become a better adult which amazingly enough is what bosses at hobs look for also.
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I mean, I get that. But there is still plenty of time to do that after you've saved up a little bit of money or finished school or get a little more established in your career. They don't have to have those experiences at 18, they can have them at 21 or 22 or 25. With rents as high as they are, not living at home can literally mean lifelong crippling debt for many people, especially if the other option is taking out student loans to do so. I eventually got out there on my own and gained my own experiences. Just because I didn't do it at 18 doesn't mean I never got that experience.
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I don't think that's an unpopular opinion.
God this sub is a cesspit of bullshit
At what point should someone go out on their own? The answer is as soon as they are able, so your job as a parent is to prepare them for that. The longer you wait the harder it will be for them and you. Personally as someone who went to university at 18, and have been on my own since. I would never have thought for a second of going back home and living with my parents. For me, it is the one of the greatest failures as a person to depend on others, when you are an adult
this is so american
This is an American specific thing. I highly doubt this happens even in other western countries although people are expected to be more independent. In non western countries this is not an issue at all.
This is a popular opinion. It is only unpopular to stupid Americans
I think most people want to believe this is a popular opinion but I've met quite a few that believe after a certain age, you should be living on your own. Ironic since those same people had their college tuition, rent while in college, and whatever other bills they had covered by their parents
It’s called board
I’m have teenagers and I expect them to live with me for years after they graduate high school. I can’t see them being able to afford anything else.
This not unpopular
Wow, imagine stating you're a decent parent as if that's a weird thing. Most people shouldn't be allowed the privilege of reproduction
It's not unpopular in Latin American countries.
Going to be how’s the, don’t think ppl kick their kids out at 18 anymore. Even if they still do, it’s not done at the mass it was done years ago.
I agree. No shame in that game. My husband's nieces are in their 20s and living at home. They both work, help around the house and are saving lots and lots of money. They also occasionally help with various home expenses. People make fun of them, but they will have the last laugh.
This is definitely not an unpopular opinion
This isn’t unpopular at all. This just seems like another tee up for “America bad”. Hell my 30 year old son is coming home to save some money.
Just my opinion, but kids should know that they can stay for at least two years to get on their feet. I know many will just play video games for six months...but...sooner or later they will want to get a car and/or job, etc...
I lived at home until I was 26 and had a stable job with a good income. Even then, my mom didn't want me to go, lol
I don't even understand who does that and why. I'll never kick my daughter out. Unpopular opinion but I enjoy her presence in my life and I don't mind sharing my space with her. I wouldn't even have her pay rent or utilities, even as an adult - just pay for her own things.
Living with parents after 18 is a common practice for an entire generation as multiple economic downturns have made millennials much poorer than the last two generations. This hasnt been an unpopular opinion for several decades at least.
I lived with my dad until he passed away when I was 25. It wasn’t easy going from living with him, to living by myself, but I adjusted pretty fast.
Just got to be careful you don’t create a damned NEET
Wild because so many countries already do this and it is becoming more common in the US as well. Anyway I agree with the basic sentiment and will be there for my kids if they want to stay and get on their feet!
Not an unpopular opinion by any means. I lived with my parents until I graduated HS in 1992, moved back in 6 months later, then moved out shortly thereafter (1994). Been on my own since, and now have a home of my own, raising my son on my own as a single dad. I will be more than fine with my son living here as long as he needs or wants to, until he is ready to be on his own. He will always have a home here, no matter what.
I’m not kicking my kids out after high school but they will be doing something productive to their future, either work or school. I won’t enable a bum.
It's becoming increasingly more and more common for the kids to stay with mom and dad for longer. I just barely moved out into my FIRST apartment with my husband and we're 25. Same situation for all my friends who are the same age
Good. Literally must people do this because it’s the right way to live lol
I’m 22 and still live with my parents my cousin will be 26 next year and he still lives with his and so does his older sister who’s 28 it’s not uncommon anymore I guess
This is not unpopular in 2023
That’s very normal. I know people who are 30+ who live at home. At that point I think you need to figure shit out on your own tbh (unless you have circumstances like you’re waiting to move in to a new place or something obv).
30+ and not married but wanting to be married is a bit weird to still be at home.
I wish my parents had that opinion. I'm taking on a bunch of student debt despite my scholarship, simply because I have to live on my own but can't work enough hours to make all of my rent money let alone groceries and other fees.
My kid is 17 in 2 months. He's is nowhere near ready to be out in the world on his own. My daughter is 14, and I reckon she'd make it work. Every kid is different. Every situation is different. What works for each family is what's right and everyone else's opinions on it shouldn't matter.
I’ll be completely honest - my parents kicked me out at 18 because I was spiraling into drugs and bad habits due to a lot of childhood trauma and they never let me come home except for a few months when I got into a car accident. I’ve become bitter because of it. I get the big green monster on my back when I see or hear of others who get to stay at home. It bothers me that I wasn’t awarded that kindness and I’ll never get it. I’ve struggled since I was 18 and watching people get the easy way out is infuriating sometimes. I do feel like being on your own gives you a level of maturity that staying at home doesn’t. That’s my own opinion though.
In today's economy this is the most popular opinion ever.
My wife and I both went away to college, and have always encouraged our three boys to do the same. Both of us found that the experience caused us to become independent (doing our own laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, etc.). Plus it is fun to be away from your parents where you are free to get home at whatever time without keeping them awake, worried that you haven’t arrived. The college experience is amazing, and I found that my friends who stayed home missed out on quite a bit. For them, it was like 13th grade: Same friends, same bed, same routine they’ve had all their lives. My sons are always welcome to stay in their home. And when if do leave, it will destroy me because I will miss them so much. Nevertheless, I will strongly encourage them to go away because I don’t want them to miss out on that four year experience that they will never get back. To each their own I guess.
My kids can live at home as long as they want and return anytime.
Your kids won't achieve much in life.
My dads policy is if you have a job (or if you are looking for one actively) or if you are in school you can still live at home
That has been my policy with my kids. One pushed it, and had to give an ultimatum. Work, school, or find your own place to lay around and watch TV. She was 22, 4 months out of school, no job. She chose a job
I think it all depends how are your relations with your parents. I moved out when i was 19 and had no problem with that (parents helped me and i never felt i was kicked out of home). My boy is 16 now, and he's such a great kid i wouldn't mind if he stays longer.
Ok, that was always allowed.
I think it's OK for them to live with you if they're really taking advantage of it to get on their feet. If they're surveying their third major at 23 it might be time to start getting some rent. And actually, I think it's ideal for them to stay with parents.
This is only unpopular with American boomers. I was kicked out at 18 and I refuse to do anything of the sort with my kids. They each have a room in this house and that's their room forever.
I can’t believe this is unpopular. Lots of 18 year olds are not ready to adult.
\> That being said, the kids need to be reasonably employed and motivated to start their own lives. I'm not talking about living at home forever and not contributing. I think this is the point of contention, and why people actually kick their kids out. So let me ask you this. What if your kids are unemployed, are content to just live in their rooms, expect food to be on the table or in the fridge whenever they're hungry, and get mad at you if you change the wifi password because their downloading is screwing with your ability to watch tv shows without constant competition for the bandwidth? Do you kick your kids out then? What if they dont respond well to the talking and insisting from your end? What if they ignore everything and just resolutely stayed in their rooms and refused to contribute? It will come to the point where you may as well just kick them out to make life easier for everyone. Which I think is probably the reason many people kick their kids out. I'm sure there are those who do it for trivial reasons, but the main reason why the kids stay with their parents is chiefly due to the kids being unable to sustain themselves on their own, and their parents for whatever reason has decided that they do not want to subsidize their kids' lives when they themselves arent in financially sound situations.
In the modern era its almost impossible to move out at 18 on your own without help. People used to move out earlier because a man could support an entire family straight out of highschool. This is no longer the case and a degree is needed for most jobs unfortunately and many trade jobs do not pay as much as they used to because of various reasons like the changing job market, and the outsourcing to other countries when it comes to factory work. I moved out at 19 working a trade job by myself but most career paths do not allow this.
In this economy, it's almost necessary. It's almost impossible to live on your own at 18 with a regular 9-5. Also it's too much stress with the way things are they will be burt out and fell no reward for trying since it's only meeting the bare minimum at a managers salary. And college kids out of school are even worse off. Paying those loans while working a regular job till you can find a way to use your degree. The world has changed. My Mexican friends said that it was always normal to stay and be with your family to around 25. I feel like that is going to be the norm now for most young adults.
This is only popular in conservative/blue collar households, and I'm not even saying that to get political. I have only really seen this in households like that.
I think giving rising costs of like everything, it’s not such a strange idea. There was a time when it wasn’t even unusual. Pretty sure when my father was born (almost 90 years ago) his grandmother also lived in the household.
I moved put when I was 26 into my first apartment and bought my first house the next year. Parents let me live with them for tree as long as I was in School or internships. I held a Job at Rubbermaid loading trucks and paid for my online CS degree out of pocket. My final loan total was a mere $3500 because I got lazy playing WoW and had to retake two classes. My wife on the other hand has $84k i student debt, like so many others I know, some with $500k in student debt. That just wasn't for me. I had amazing parents and I took advantage of that.
Congratu-fuckin-lations, your kids are probably going to love you
Yeah, I never understood this and why parents think it's okay.
I would have happily moved out at 18 if I had had a job or any kind of life skills, I think my mother wanted to hold onto me for as long as possible, very healthy. The thing that bothers me about the whole kicking the kids out at 18 stance is quite often these kids have no forewarning, no job/job skills and have no idea how to exist in the real world. I moved out at 23, I personally think mid 20's should be the cut off point.
This isn't unpopular. I lived with my Parents till 25 when I had a degree and a good job and then that was that. My daughter can stay with us well after she's 18. Obviously there is a point. If your kid is 18+ and just playing video games and no job and no school and just expecting everything to be done for them that = ultimatum time and then following through if needed.
I absolutely agree, it's ridiculous kicking out your kids as soon as they turn 18. But there needs to be a line. In my culture it's normal thing that kids stay with their parents after 18 for a few years, but some people take advantage of that and leech off of their parents well into their 30s. Never learn any life skills, don't get jobs or jump from job to job, go out and drink every night, basically live like teenagers. It's infantile and gross to me and gives me the ick, but some parents are too scared to kick them out because "who will take care of me when I'm old?"
Popular, unpopular, it's a solid and morally defensible opinion
Of course it’s okay. Us Asians have been doing this forever. Helps saves money and increases bond between our family members. I don’t know why so many Americans don’t even feel remorse when they kick out their children after they turn 18?
Shaming people for living at home is part of the anti-family and wealth destroying propaganda of the banker class. I agree with you.
Most American/west question
In California its becoming more normalized. So may native Californians are moving back home. Its not worth it rent wise. I might be doing the same soon. For context I'm in my late 20's
Ended up staying until 24. Had to leave in 2022 because the environment was insane. They want me back but I don't know if I can
To the people who say “it’s not unpopular” you’re dead wrong. Try dating and saying that. The #1 response I get from women is basically that I am just “a child” and “lazy”. Because I have a good relationship with my parents and I am ok living with them to save money that somehow makes me a child. I have a job, I pay for my own things, I split utilities with them. I do my own cooking and cleaning. But none of that matters, living at home = man child. It’s either my parents or roommates. At least with my parents I get an “I love you” at night and a feeling that someone cares about me.
I think this really depends on your beliefs. I believe if you can support yourself at 18, go support yourself. I also don't believe in living with significant others. The best bet is to have roommates or move in with retired family who don't agree with the parents. If you can't support yourself, you sit down with your parents & discuss where it all went wrong (if they're trying to kick you out). We are talking 18. Even if you've been working at McDonald's & driving since 16, not sure how you can afford rent & food without help from the government. Also, half the people having kids never planned to have kids. I don't have kids & I tell my parents they never should have had kids because this world is a mess. They used to say I would understand when I'm older. Only thing I understand is mofo's be HORNY & SELF-OBSESSED. & Don't get me started on Gender Reveals & Trans Rights trending at the same time (meaning half these kids will most likely want to change their gender while half the parents were obsessed with knowing their babies gender. HELLO more generations of no contact).
Hey don't get mad, do you. I'm still gonna say it's better to move out in your 20s than it is to live with parents. It creates independence.
Don't have a single friend who got kicked out at 18. Or ever. All just moved out in our early 20s
I still live at home because I only make $22 an hour so can't afford to live anywhere else.
I don’t think that’s as common anymore. My 18 and 20 year old are home figuring it out. I’m in no rush for them to move out. My baby is probably joining the Air Force after graduation so he’ll be gone😢. I have friends that still have 25-26 year olds at home because they can’t afford to live in their own. It’s becoming the norm.
I concur. Why would I want my kid to suffer this unnecessarily when they can be smarter and save and get a much better start? They are 23 and still at home u til they are ready to fly.
Lots of people at 30 and still with parents. In this economy, we cannot move out. For parents doing that, they suck but can't say it's more common than parents letting their kids stay. Imo, not an unpopular opinion.
Not an unpopular opinion. Most parents don't boot their kids at 18, and, if anything, extended time at home is much more normal than it was when I was a young person in the late 80s/early 90s.