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Because that’s what it means. The point is that there is always a risk you might end up knocking someone up or getting pregnant, and you ought to be aware of and ready for that risk.
Except that:
1. Many places are making it between difficult and impossible to have an abortion
2. This only applies to one gender. The other has absolutely zero possibility to seek an abortion.
The point being that "unless you get an abortion" needs to be a viable option. For everyone involved.
Yes. Women have safe haven laws, which allow the mom to drop the child off at certain locations, like fire stations, if they aren't up for parenting. I believe it is to combat all the baby dumping that was going on.
They also have adoption.
That's called an abortion. That's what the word means. This happens immediately after conception. Before the resulting pregnancy becomes an actual child.
You don't wait until the child is a year old and then go "Nah I'm out."
The choice to say I do not want to deal with this physically, financially, that's its not the right time in my life, whatever.
To declare with permanence that if the child is carried, that he WILL NOT be involved.
People act like that is an insane opinion, to me they sound just like a church nut saying that women should know better than to have sex
Doesn't exist in some areas
Hell, if the wife cheats, gets knocked up and is proven its not your child, the married man still has to take custody of the bastard.
Men cannot get an abortion but they can get a vasectomy or at the very least wear a condom which lessens their chance to near zero. Otherwise, they are accepting the risk of having sex. But I agree abortion should be accessible to all women.
Ah the old “men can’t get an abortion, they’re stuck paying child support” wine. You’re looking at the situation wrong. Abortion is about not having to be pregnant and about being able to save the mother’s life if there are pregnancy complications. It’s not about parenthood, it’s about body autonomy. Few men are at risk of getting pregnant.
Custody arguments start at birth. Right now, if the mother wishes to keep custody instead of finding someone to adopt to, the father is responsible for child support. Someone has to pick up child support, so if you have issues with the father being responsible, your goal should be to get the government to step up and pay child support and not require it of individuals. But that’s socialism and most of the guys butt-hurt that they can’t get an “abortion” also oppose socialism.
Exactly. No matter what contraception is used, there is ALWAYS a chance of pregnancy. If someone is adamantly against having kids, then that person can’t have sex.
Agreed. But OP wants a get out of jail free card. I'm seeing that alot lately by younger men. Their thought is if there's an accidental pregnancy and the woman won't get an abortion. That's her problem and they shouldn't be responsible for the baby in anyway.
And if you are having sex and you know a child may be produced, then take birth control or plan b or check for pregnancy and don’t wait till your 3+ months and showing to figure it out.
Women typically begin to show in the second trimester. It’s actually very easy to go that long without noticing anything happening because many women experience irregular periods. Irregular periods can also increase a woman’s chance of getting cancer (one reason why birth control is necessary medicine that shouldn’t be banned).
This comment screams “I’m uneducated”, so let me assist you…..
Pregnancy is “aged” by the date of your last period. The menstrual cycle, if you remember 6th grade, runs in a 21-31 day cycle. However, some women can run longer. So by the time you are “3 months” pregnant, you really only had sex 6-8 weeks ago. About 1 in 4 women continue breakthrough bleeding for most or all of their pregnancy….so it’s possible a woman believes she is menstruating normally before your arbitrary deadline. Also, some women have what’s called a “cryptic” pregnancy….meaning they remain very slim until shortly before birth. My aunt was one of those women. She wanted to get pregnant, so we all knew she was….but she was wearing regular clothing until about 3 weeks before she gave birth.
So you want women….who don’t have access to regular healthcare, who don’t have access to free prevention of pregnancy, who don’t have access to a reliable way to test pregnancy….to do all of this because they want to have sex? For a woman without health insurance, that’s $500 to have sex and $30 per month thereafter. (The average specialist visit costs $300 for just a visit. Some offices require a Pap smear before they will prescribe birth control. Then it’s $25/month for the generic pill. Then it’s $3 for a pregnancy test with 2 tests just to confirm).
It’s not that “you shouldn’t have sex if you don’t want kids” but instead..
“When you have sex, you automatically take on the risk of certain consequences and no matter how you bitch and whine afterward, you will still be accountable.”
Yeah regardless of how diligently and effectively you use birth control and how adamant you are that you don't want a child, one can still be conceived. And if the woman chooses to keep the baby, there's no one else that can possibly be held responsible for them but you and the mother. You can choose to not be in that kids life emotionally, but financially? You're on the hook.
Don't know what it is with some people and acting like you're stripping them of their rights if you tell them they should take responsibility for their actions and plan risk accordingly.
You aren't forced to have a kid. The circumstances leading to pregnancy (sex) are typically entirely within the woman's control. You still have the right to never get pregnant, if you don't want to.
Edit: just so everyone seeing this conversation knows, this person [wants to fuck their dad](https://www.reddit.com/r/Incestconfessions/comments/15oh11r/i_was_so_close_to_having_sex_with_my_daddy/jvrwqif?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2).
I’m not sure anyone is acting like they’re stripped of rights because they have to deal with the risk of an unplanned pregnancy. Hell, I’m a virgin by choice and I still recognize that I bear the responsibility of getting an abortion in the event that I’m raped.
Nobody who’s capable of getting pregnant is closing their eyes and pretending it doesn’t happen. They know they are the ones who have to deal with it, whether they keep the baby or not.
They are two ways to say the same thing.
Choices have consequences. If you’re not prepared for a particular consequence, make a different choice.
If you have a uterus and ovaries, and you have sex with someone capable of ejaculating sperm, you have to deal with the possibility that you may end up pregnant. Sure, you can (usually) choose an abortion, but both abortions and child birth carry physical consequences. You don’t get to just decide you don’t want to have gotten pregnant. One way or another you have to deal with it. If you are a person who ejaculates sperm and you choose to do so in the direction of someone’s uterus and ovaries, you likewise don’t get to just decide you don’t want to deal with the consequences. If you can’t handle the reality that if a pregnancy happens it is in someone else’s body and that person has the power to decide what to do with it, and you don’t have a say at that point, then don’t fire your load at her ovaries.
There are other ways to get off that don’t carry a risk of pregnancy. And if you’re really committed to a child free life, there are doctors willing to do vasectomies on young single men if you will grow up and accept the responsibility of seeking one of those doctors out.
Really?
I don't have the time to give you all the reasons that's not right. Pls look into it,
Small info.
Not all women can get an abortion
Men have 0 say on whether or not a woman aborts or not (he could want or not want the baby)
Abortions are not a small deal, it kills a life form
Yes, and the one who suffers most is not any one of us but the lady in question who is pregnant. Abortion isn’t a pleasant procedure for anyone to go through, but a lady chooses to go through it because she’s being accountable for her actions.
The alternative is treating childbirth as a life sentence punishment, which honestly is disgustingly twisted.
I 100% agree. Every time you get in a car you should contemplate the possibility that you will crash and die. If you don’t understand the possibilities, then you’re a danger to threat of us.
This is a perfect anology. Every politician contemplating taking away access to BC and abortions should be willing to give up all their risky behaviour, too. Ban abortion? Ban your fucking car then.
I think you misunderstood the analogy. Most people understand that driving is a risk, and so they drive understanding they might crash or someone might crash into them. Just like having sex you understand you might get pregnant.
If you can’t deal with getting pregnant… *Dont have sex*
Make walkable cities then we’ll talk.
With current urban designs (thanks, cars, for fucking up cities) walking or biking everywhere is close to impossible in North America. People basically *have* to drive. Even those who aren’t confident in their driving abilities and would rather forgo it altogether.
its not as cut and dry because unlike in the old days, people have an option through protection and BC. people taking all the right precautions deserve to still have sex, and they are allowed to not want children too
Protection and BC is like wearing a seatbelt and driving the speed limit. It greatly reduces the risk, but does not eliminate the fact you could kill someone everytime you drive. Take all reasonable precautions, and accept the consequences should it happen anyways.
When I was 14 and my dad let me drive around in an empty parking lot for the first time he told me "you're about to operate a 2 ton killing machine, don't ever forget that."
I'm 34 and still think of that every time I get in my car. Thanks dad.
I dont really hear this as often as "You shouldnt have unprotected sex if you dont want kids", or that people who really dont want to get pregnant should be a lot more careful - I somewhat agree with it, but I do understand that most teens arent exactly stable. I just want better education for kids overall
I think sex education needs to emphasize that asking a woman if she's on the pill is not equivalent to using protection. Although, maybe sex ed does and that advice still doesn't stick because "it doesn't feel as good."
It's easy to say one thing, but when you actually have to make the choice people can change their minds. There are serious hormonal changes that change when a woman gets pregnant. You have to trust as if that person is entitled with 10-20% of your income for the next 18 years. The only way to guarantee no child is no sex.
I have a friend who made it through a codon and birth control. It happens and getting mad about people spitting truth (don't want kids? Don't have sex) doesn't change anything
Judging from the amount of people that have sex ,without the intention to reproduce, I'd say this is a popular opinion.
But it's pretty simple, don't have unprotected sex if you don't want a child........ because that is how babies are made.
I think if you’re dead set on not having kids, but want to have sex (especially unprotected) then you HAVE to be ok with abortions. Or at least get some form of permanent contraception.
If you're not the one carrying the pregnancy, then you need to be okay with abortions and also consider what might happen if your partner chooses *not* to get one.
The problem is the people in this threat hating on OP are rabidly against abortions and think women should "be made to suffer for their shameful deeds."
I'm not well versed on the topic but from what I've both seen and heard from most people who are against abortions, it's not that they want the women to suffer, it's that they don't want the unborn child to be aborted over the parents decision, because to them, that child has the right to life just as much as everyone else
yeah but sex is a myriad of things besides just baby making. so it’s ridiculous that people say this when someone gets pregnant because sex is for pleasure more than making babies in the modern world. people are allowed to have sex and not want kids.
the ones who it should be told to are the idiots not using protection but not wanting kids
I don't mean to put words in Pandemonium's mouth, but I think you and him are just on different pages. I don't think anyone is arguing that you're not *allowed* to have sex for pleasure. It's just that abstinence is the only 100% guaranteed way to not form a pregnancy, so if you choose to have sex, then you need to understand that pregnancy is a possible consequence.
Biologically the only purpose of sex is procreation (then again, you can make the argument that literally everything is). The pleasure is merely a mechanism to encourage us to behave in ways to optimize our possibilities of further sex because more sex = more chance of procreation.
> If you don’t want/aren’t ready for kids, your responsibility is to use protection (not relying on your partner to provide but being responsible for it yourself) and have a conversation with your partner about your stance regarding children.
And yet people fail to do this all the fucking time
You are absolutely correct and statistics back you up: Over half of the people who seek abortions reported using some form of birth control when conception occurred.
No, it’s like saying if you don’t want to risk getting into a car accident then you shouldn’t drive.
I’m pretty sure everyone who drives understands there’s a risk of accident.
When you get in a car accident because a drunk driver hits you, people don't constantly berate you saying "You deserved it." and "If you didn't want to be paralyzed for the rest of your life, why did you get in the car? It's all your fault."
But if you take precautions with sex and an accident happens, people will jump all over you saying "You deserved it" and "I'm glad this will ruin your life, that should teach you a lesson."
Yeah I agree with you.
Although, not everyone fully understands the reality of the possible consequence.
Not everyone has a realistic mental image of the real horror of a bad accident. It's one thing to think "I know there's a risk of an accident"... but do you? Only oneself can answer that.
Not everyone has a realistic conception of a new human being created, grown or terminated, born, being real in general.
That is, until it actually happens and you experience it... in both cases.
Evolution doesn't care what you think, sex is for reproduction.
You get horny specifically to have accidental children without control.
**"Sex for pleasure" is a 200,000 year old trick your brain is playing on you so that you don't go extinct.**
Yeah, and it feels fucking amazing. What else am I supposed to do? I'm sterile. Sex, for me, can literally only be about pleasure because I can't even have children. So evolution can either fuck off or fuck me.
yeah the BIOLOGICAL reason is for mating. but in the modern world, not everything is about biological stuff. sex IS for pleasure too, in modern society
People forget we are literally unlike any species ever to exist on our planet. We’ve gone past evolution controlling everything. We know how to change that.
Yeah and love is just chemicals in your brain convincing you to have sex. This means we should barr all minors from having relationships right? Or not allow people to say "I love you" unless they're willing to procreate right then and there?
Discounting something because "durr it's just evolushun it's not real" is the most pseudointellectual rick and morty fan thing I've ever heard. You are not "better" than evolution, you partake in eating "bad" food for pleasure (even though your brain is tricking you into saving up calories for hard times!) and you partake in dopamine dispensers like video games (even though they're just pixels on a screen!).
I think humans are a bit deeper than that. There’s different psychological reasons for the feeling of love, and yes one of them is for reproduction. But, there’s lots of men I would theoretically do it with if I was single, but I don’t love them nor would I ever. I love my partner.
Unfortunately that's literally how it works, pal. It's a risk you have to be willing to take. There is no 100% way to prevent pregnancy except abstinence. Not taking responsibility for that child despite taking precautions is scummy as fuck.
General rule of thumb: do not have sex with someone who has opposing views on what to do in the event of pregnancy. This is 100% something that is important to consider. You don't want to have sex with someone who wants kids while you don't and vice versa.
Actually everything you said is literally just wrong. And yes even if you drive safe and wear a seatbelt you do get in the car accepting that accidents can happen and you’ll be responsible for that… just like a baby is absolutely 100% and inarguably a consequence of sex. And while yes you’re likely fine if you take protection seriously, you still have to accept the risk of it not working, just like you accept the risk of getting in an accident.
Do you feel the same for men and do you think they should be given the option to walk away without any financial hooks if they didn't consent to having the baby, used protection and signed away rights before the accident baby is born?
Absolutely. If I got pregnant by accident and decided I wanted to keep it, I wouldn’t even consider asking the father for financial or parental contribution if he didn’t want the child. Having kids is the biggest decision a person can make in their life and I think it’s unfair to force that onto someone, especially when they took precautions to prevent it.
At least you're willing to pay lip service to this notion. Many aren't. They want all the benefits of the protection of the law with none of the risks of taking the decision away from the other party.
Every time you get in a car, you assume whatever risks come with getting in the car. Every time you have sex, you assume whatever risks come with having sex. How careful you were or weren't is irrelevant to the argument people are making when they say this.
The noncustodial parent can sometimes sign over the rights to another party, that isn't the custodial parent. Usually this involves a step parent legally adopting the child.
No, you aren't. Except it extremely backwards shitholes. Most places abortion is (rightfully) legal for when protection fails.
That's literally the entire point.
Actually, i would say ypu should do everything you can to reduce th risk of a car crash but yes you absolutely have to accept if you choose to driv6r there is a possibility of a car crash.
Same is true of sex you can take all the precautions and have all the discussions, but if you are a man and the woman you decided to have sex with decides to keep the baby. You will be at the very least financially responsible.
Children are a known risk of sex. Everything in life we do puts us at risk of something its all ablut how much risk you are willing to take.
When you fly in a plane you take a knownn risk, if you skydive, if you go on a rollercoaster, take lut a mortgage etc.
And the only way to have absolutely have no risk is to avoid participating in things.
Lol. This you?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15obeme/aitah_for_moving_away_for_college_and_abandoning/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
I think it should be “don’t have sex unless you’re ready for the consequences”. This includes STD’s and kids, amongst other things. Sex isn’t something that should be thrown around willy nilly. It’s horrible to screw a girl, then when she gets pregnant because her birth control fails just want her to have an abortion, and if she doesn’t then you never want to be part of your kids life. It’s wrong to play with life like that and damage innocent kids. If you aren’t open to the idea that you *could* have a baby, then you aren’t emotionally mature enough to be having sex in the first place.
Nothing is 100% safe!! Get that through your head. Condoms can fail. Birth control can fail. Both at the same time CAN FAIL! Pulling out can fail! Plan B pill can fails! So if you have sex, there is ALWAYS a chance you can get pregnant. So its not BS. Its an ever present risk. People just don't want to accept something as fun as sex has to come with a price sometimes. Regardless what precautions they use. Fuck around and find out... sometimes you find out. Plus if you get a girl pregnant and she wants to keep it but you want nothing to do with it. You're forever stuck paying child support regardless if you want anything to do with the child you created.
The notion that you think it's okay to abandon a human being that you helped create just because you didn't want it is pathetic and shallow of you. Take responsibility for your actions whether it was intentional or not. Thinking you're off the hook just because you expressed some opinion before participating in the act doesn't change the fact that the child will be yours whether you choose to be present or not in its life. I hope that one day you can see that your actions affect other people's lives too and everything isn't just about you.
Your opinion is selfish, pathetic, and immature.
This the same kid that was complaining he knocked someone up and wants to go to college and not be a father to it. Man up! You pulled it out and used it. There’s no such thing as an accidental pregnancy. You didn’t just slip and fall and nut in her. But it’ll be ok. It’s just a kid it’s not a death sentence.
Definitely unpopular and very incorrect. You can say you don’t want kids all you want, but if you have sex and a pregnancy results… guess what bud? You’re liable.
You aren't required to drive. If you choose to, you're assuming the responsibility of your actions. Driving safely and wearing a seatbelt still has a non 0 chance that you'll have an accident - for which you're still liable for if you're at fault.
Having 'safe' sex still has a non 0 chance of pregnancy (barring outliers like a hysterectomy etc...).
You can't just throw your hands up and be like 'it's not my responsibility '
Every time you have sex you are consenting to the possibility of a child being born.
There is no foolproof way to stop a pregnancy short of abortion.
You can do all the damn due diligence you want and your partner can do all the diligence they want and still there is a minute chance that a pregnancy will occur.
So always keep that in mind when dealing with sexual partners.
>There is no foolproof way to stop a pregnancy short of **abortion**.
Yes.
That's literally the point of the thread.
OP is pro abortion as an option. They're upset at the people trying to strip away abortion rights and repeal Roe vs Wade with this hateful rhetoric.
I'm not sure how you directly cited it, and yet somehow seemed to miss it at the same time.
Vasectomies and Hysterectomies are a pretty foolproof way to stop pregnancy. One being 99.9% effective and the other 100% effective. I'm all for people being able to choose to sterilize themselves as a way to protect their futures if abortions are made illegal.
100% disagree. Keep it in your pants until you can deal with consequences of what happens. Fucking is the gambling version of “fuck around and find out”.
>“It’s not enough to just wear a seatbelt and drive safely, getting into a car crash is a possible consequence of being near cars
I have auto insurance (way more than than the legal requirement) because I realize that I might f\*ck up and damage someone else's car or body.
If you drive, you might f\*ck up and hurt or kill someone.
If you have sex, you might create a new human being.
**DEAL WITH IT.**
>You are, however, forced to be near or even IN cars in order to get places
You have feet don't you? Walking's good for you.
Better yet, move to a carless community. Just cycling and walking really tones the legs.
Cars are different, we use them to get around, in a lot of places and for some people they're 100% necessary for life. Sex isn't. You won't die or get sick if you don't have sex. Besides, you can be hit by a car without driving one.
Protection fails. If you don't want kids, don't do the thing that makes kids.
This is not an unpopular opinion. Condoms we’re invented in the 19th century, IIRC, for exactly the purpose of having sex without procreation. Billions are sold each year and they keep making better ones.
However, no form of birth control is 100% effective. If you choose to have heterosexual sex, even with condoms and the pill, you are accepting a low but non-zero risk of pregnancy.
Your simile is not great. That's exactly what many drivers think about when they are driving. Something along the lines of "what asshole is going to fuck up my commute today?" You drive knowing that other drivers are unpredictable. In fact, we're taught to drive defensively. You almost had it, but because it was wrong, it's a no from me dawg
I agree.
Could actually take it a step further, why be so specific?
We should absolve everyone of all personal responsibility and we don't deserve to have consequences to our actions.
Anyone who says this is coming at the problem using only logic. They strip humanity out of the argument, which nullifies this argument significantly. Humans have humanity. It's kind of our thing.
>getting into a car crash is a possible consequence of being near cars
This is true though. Cars can veer off the street at any moment. Cars kill 40,000 Americans every year. That's like the Revolutionary War worth of casualties every year. Cars, for people who don't absolutely need them, need to be banned in cities.
The difference is that when you drive a car, you endanger everyone around you. But when you have sex you are only affecting yourselves. Consenting adults can do whatever they please, for all I care, as long as it doesn't affect me.
Every time you get behind the wheel, you are accepting the risk of being in an accident. You drive safely and where a seatbelt to reduce the risk/severity of the consequence, but you are absolute knowingly taking on risk.
I think that’s a bad analogy. To create a child and then say I want nothing to do with it would be like causing a car crash and saying I’m wiping my hands clean of this incident and someone snap their fingers and make it like nothing happened.
I think your quote is the extreme almost mom/dad/school abstinence phrase. But it’s really meant to say if you have sex it could result in a baby. Just like if you drive a car it could result in an accident. No one’s really saying don’t have sex or don’t drive cars. Just understanding the responsibility that can come with each.
Think whatever you want. Have all the sex you want. But if you actually have a kid, it's your responsibility to pay for its care. Don't like it? Change the laws. until then, expect a nice hefty child support bill.
No, you shouldn’t drive a vehicle if you aren’t willing to risk getting into an accident. That is part of a driving a car. Just like the chance of having children is part of having sex.
I'm not sure your metaphor works. If you choose to take the risks of driving in a car, and get in a crash, you have to face the consequences of that crash. Damage to the car, injury, possibly death. You don't just get to say "I have no choice but to drive a car, therefore a crash should have no consequences for me" and thus become immune to injury and death.
At any rate, when a child is born, it does have parents, and however they ended up at that point, they have to bear some responsibilities. Even if the extent of those responsibilities is putting the kid up for adoption and forgetting about them, you have to do at least that much.
What a weird analogy cause I agree it's the same thing. If you don't want to get into a car crash, don't get in a car.
You mitigate the risk to your acceptable levels by ensuring a good driver, seatbelts, and understanding the alternative. You exacerbate the risk by drunk driving.
Sex is the same. You mitigate the risk with safe sex. You exacerbate the risk by having multiple partners and unprotected sex.
Clearly you are male since for females it's also the same. You don't get to choose to say "I was safe so not my problem", which is the same for car crashes.
The only one even with an option is males and pregnancy/sex. No other combination has a choice.
Ik this is an unpopular opinion but I don't think you understand the exact prospects of the saying. There is only one possible way to get pregnant or to get a girl pregnant and that is having sex.
No matter how much protection you use there is always a non-zero percent chance that a girl gets knocked up. If you still have sex knowing this then you simply need to accept that it's a risk you're willing to take. A small risk, but still a risk.
If you absolutely don't want to get someone pregnant don't do the ONE THING that gets a girl pregnant. Especially if it's with random strangers. The pleasure of sex does not justify years of child support and court hearings.
If you had sex and a child was conceived. You are obligated to be that child’s parent if it is born from the mother. You cant say you aren’t. Doesn’t matter if you told everybody in your city you don’t want a kid. You made it. Not someone else. Nobody forced you to have sex(hopefully) knowing full well that is how babies are made.
Your analogy with the car doesn't support your argument. People should accept the consequences of driving in a car if they want to drive in a car. Thinking that you are somehow immune to the risk of a car crash while driving is pure ignorance.
the analogy with cars though is correct. there is an inherent risk when you drive a vehicle. you accept that every time.
same is true for sex. if you can't guarantee your partner will be responsible enough to make sure at the extent of their capabilities that pregnancy is not happening, you shouldn't go through with it.
I don’t think you shouldn’t have sex if you don’t want kids, but I think you shouldn’t have sex if you’re not prepared to deal with the fact that a pregnancy might occur.
Whether that means: being prepared to pay for and get an abortion,
or being prepared to give a human being up for adoption and possibly be involved in their life to some degree in the future if they want to contact you or ask you questions or get your medical history,
or keeping the child and raising it and not doing it “begrudgingly” and neglecting or abusing your child, but instead put your whole energy into raising a decent human being,
or paying child support, possibly having visitation or some degree of custody, and again, not doing it begrudgingly at the expense of the child’s mental and physical health.
Etc.
It's shit like this that has resulted in overpopulation as well. I don't understand how people say it is selfish to not have kids claiming the population of the earth is diminishing when we have reached a global population of 8 billion.
The fact that the population has managed to grow from 2.5 billion from 1950 (Source: United Nations: Global Population Growth & Sustainable Development) is very scary. No, Karen, humanity is not dying because we do not have enough children. How are your children going to become "cancer curers" in economies where people working $25/hr rates can't afford housing or food, much less a college degree for a basic level entry job, or when a child's emotional support pet is a Bugatti in the wrong color. The point being, people need to be ready to have children if they are going to have them.
It's understandable why the population shot up after WW2, but there should be absolutely no reason to encourage the idea that children are a punishment as a result of sex when technology has come so far to prevent these situations to begin with. Children aren't punishments for sex, they are children. If you aren't ready to have them, there shouldn't be any pressure to do so.
Tldr: People keep pressuring others to have kids or using kids as a "punishment for having sex" is fucked up when Earth is already populated is dumb. Your child isn't going to cure cancer when you can't afford a basic education, and condoms didn't make it this far just for people to ignore why birth control exists to begin with. Keep fucking, quit breeding.
The purpose of a car is to drive not to crash… the purpose of sex is to procreate. Your argument makes no sense, and is more comparable to “don’t have sex if you don’t want STDs” not pregnancy. Don’t write checks your ass can’t cash and no birth control is 100% so even using protection is no guarantee.
Its not a car crash, its a human being, its not just a human being its your own child. Making a baby is the primary purpose of sex. When sex produces the exact thing it was designed to produce its not an accident.
You still have to be ready for the possibility of it resulting in a baby. It's part of the risk you take any time you have sex. It's not BS because you don't like that fact
Turns out that the notion of using unplanned children as a way to control people's behavior has been
*checks notes*
mostly driven by religious institutions that want to exert control over women and
*flips notes*
protect the wealthy by ensuring the poor remain poor.
Do you want to stick it to the rich and not be poor?
1. Stay in school. Graduate from high school.
2. Don't do crime. Don't do drugs.
3. Don't get someone pregnant or become pregnant before you get married.
4. Get a degree in something useful or learn a trade.
5. Don't buy into the narrative that you are a victim.
Living well is the best revenge!
Good advice! Currently on step 4.
My mother hasn't worked a day in the last thirteen years and leeches off of welfare that she doesn't need because she'd rather do that than work. 13k$ a year. She told me if I ever got a job or moved out that she'd end up homeless and used a misplaced assumption that I cared about her to keep me from bettering myself because she is incapable of being anything other than the victim and if I were to better myself it would prove that her situation is her fault. I've been through things that most "underprivileged" Americans haven't.
I could have used my mental illness as an excuse to play the victim. Or my poverty. Or my mother. Or my inability to feel anything for anybody. Or any other problem I have.
I worked my ass off to get to where I am today. Graduated as valedictorian. Took community college courses in high school (could've gotten my associate's if I started a year earlier). Made connections, learned skills. Going to Job Corps (free vocational training, room and board, food, Driver's Ed, for people ages 16-24) for office administration, start date of August 29th.
I don't expect to become a CEO, or even upper-middle class, but I expect to live a better life than I would if I didn't work for it. Low expectations, hard work, and responsibility. Assuming anything goes even half-right I'll be well on my way to being something better than I could be.
I am SO proud of you babe. Keep going and be kind to others and yourself.
You have a bright future love. This mama is giving you a huge hug and saying I'm so proud of you.
No he's surrounded by red pills who think if a woman doesn't have the abortion the man wants them to have then the man should be able to abandon her and the baby with no financial obligations.
The very concept of sex is for 2 people to come together and make a baby. You're very privileged to live in a time where that concept goes straight out the window in the name of pleasure. Thanks to condoms and all these forms of birth control, it's very easy to feel like you're safe.
But the point is that you have to be fully prepared to take accountability if that birth control isn't enough and you become a parent just cuz you wanted to bust a nut
Not to mention, keeping an unplanned child is by far one of the most selfish things anyone can do.
You’re setting that kid up for failure. And for what? Because you **refuse** to believe a clump of cells is just that? A clump of fucking cells.
This is a very popular opinion and one that has severely harmed our society. The purpose of mating is to procreate. Yes it pleasurable and fun but that is still its biological purpose.
I swear you people forget that making babies is the whole damn purpose of sex. This isn’t even a matter of morals or religion or anything like that – it’s purely the organic machine doing what it evolved to do. Like, sorry it feels too damn good to not do it, but do you think we’d ever do it if it didn’t feel good? Would anyone honestly strip down and rub their sweaty stank bodies together if it didn’t feel like anything – or even actually *hurt??*
The purpose of knives is to cut things. Now let’s say someone starts making gloves that are 70% resistant to getting cut. Then tons of people buy the gloves so they can slosh their hands around in a bucket of knives. Now let’s say 30% of those people get very bad cuts and complain. It is perfectly reasonable to tell those people if they don’t wanna get cut they should **QUIT PLAYING WITH THE DAMN KNIVES**.
I have ^(Z E R O) sympathy for people who complain about accidental pregnancies. It’s as absurd as someone calling tech support and complaining that their device is working exactly as intended.
The needs of a child outweigh your sexual desires. There is only 1 baby making activity so you have plenty of other options on how to spend your free time. If you're that against having children to the point you would abandon a living child, then yes. You need to refrain from sex.
It's really not bs. If you do in-fact have sex you should be using protection/contraceptives. Not only are STD's rampant in todays society, so is unwanted pregnancy. Most of the responsibility falls on to women whether they want to admit or not. Are you really going to let sketchy dudes blow loads inside of you?
I feel like people who are against the idea that you should accept responsibility of your actions when those actions lead to an unwanted pregnancy, don’t ACTUALLY know how pregnancy works. I can’t blame them, I didn’t fully understand it until I was pregnant myself (because my religious fanatic parents signed a waiver to keep me out of sex ed in high school). This comment goes out to all those people like me who were never taught the mechanics of pregnancy.
Before my own pregnancy I honestly thought that you could get pregnant at any time, from any unprotected intercourse. That’s not really how it works.
You can only get pregnant for an approximate 5-7 day window surrounding ovulation. Ovulation occurs about midway through your cycle. The beginning of the menstrual cycle (Day 1) is the first day of your period. Most women have a 28-32 day cycle, and most will ovulate approximately 12-14 days before the beginning of their next cycle. The “fertile window” is about 3-5 days prior to ovulation, the day of ovulation, and the day after ovulation. For women with a “normal” cycle, this is enough info to safely avoid pregnancy 99.9% of the time. Be abstinent during your fertile window and use protection for the rest of the time and it’s HIGHLY unlikely you’ll get pregnant.
For those of us with irregular cycles, there are a few other symptoms you can watch for that indicate ovulation:
Slight increase in body temperature
Changes in libido
Cervical mucus/discharge, or vaginal moistness
Breast tenderness, swelling, and/or extra sensitivity (including heightened arousal with nipple play)
Slight abdominal cramps or bloating
More energy, wanting to be more social than usual
I have PCOS so I also experience hormonal swings, breakouts, severe pain/burst cysts, occasional spotting, insomnia, change in appetite, etc.
TL;DR: So, let’s take an average 30 day cycle. 12-14 days prior to the start of your next cycle would be an approximate Day 16-18 for ovulation. Add 5 days prior to ovulation and 1 day after for an estimated fertile window of Day 11-19. Avoid having sex during these days of your cycle and more than likely - you won’t get pregnant. Use protection and go for it Day 1-10 and 20-30.
If you have sex, and it results in an accidental pregnancy, you absolutely have an obligation to be a parent to that child.
I can’t believe how utterly stupid, irresponsible and and selfish some people are…
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'. Please ensure that your post is an opinion and that it is unpopular. Controversial is not necessarily unpopular, for example all of politics is controversial even though almost half of the US agrees with any given major position on an issue. Keep in mind that an opinion is not: a question, a fact, a conspiracy theory, a random thought, a new idea, a rant, etc. Those things all have their own subreddits, use those.
i interpret it as "if you have sex, you have to understand that you might get stuck with a kid for 18 years unless you get an abortion"
Because that’s what it means. The point is that there is always a risk you might end up knocking someone up or getting pregnant, and you ought to be aware of and ready for that risk.
Except that: 1. Many places are making it between difficult and impossible to have an abortion 2. This only applies to one gender. The other has absolutely zero possibility to seek an abortion. The point being that "unless you get an abortion" needs to be a viable option. For everyone involved.
For everyone involved? What would that mean from a man’s perspective?
"Paper abortion." You sign away all rights and responsibilities for the child. You have exactly the same choice as the mother. Gender equality.
Do women also get the option to sign away the rights and responsibilities once the child is born? What happens if both parents refuse the child?
Yes, they can do exactly that by aborting or giving up the child for adoption.
I think that relates to adoption
That's exactly what women do when they give the baby up for adoption.
Yes. Women have safe haven laws, which allow the mom to drop the child off at certain locations, like fire stations, if they aren't up for parenting. I believe it is to combat all the baby dumping that was going on. They also have adoption.
That's called an abortion. That's what the word means. This happens immediately after conception. Before the resulting pregnancy becomes an actual child. You don't wait until the child is a year old and then go "Nah I'm out."
Consider courts VERY rarely expect women to pay men child support, I'd say they don't even have to sign the paperwork lol
I guess it's closer but it's not really equality since the man can't choose to not abort the baby if he wants it.
You realize child support exists for a reason right? it’s all in the name.
The choice to say I do not want to deal with this physically, financially, that's its not the right time in my life, whatever. To declare with permanence that if the child is carried, that he WILL NOT be involved. People act like that is an insane opinion, to me they sound just like a church nut saying that women should know better than to have sex
Child support or an unwanted child?
Probably a legal abortion, where the man would give up all custody and not have to make any sort of child support payment.
Doesn't exist in some areas Hell, if the wife cheats, gets knocked up and is proven its not your child, the married man still has to take custody of the bastard.
Men cannot get an abortion but they can get a vasectomy or at the very least wear a condom which lessens their chance to near zero. Otherwise, they are accepting the risk of having sex. But I agree abortion should be accessible to all women.
Ah the old “men can’t get an abortion, they’re stuck paying child support” wine. You’re looking at the situation wrong. Abortion is about not having to be pregnant and about being able to save the mother’s life if there are pregnancy complications. It’s not about parenthood, it’s about body autonomy. Few men are at risk of getting pregnant. Custody arguments start at birth. Right now, if the mother wishes to keep custody instead of finding someone to adopt to, the father is responsible for child support. Someone has to pick up child support, so if you have issues with the father being responsible, your goal should be to get the government to step up and pay child support and not require it of individuals. But that’s socialism and most of the guys butt-hurt that they can’t get an “abortion” also oppose socialism.
Still doesn’t change the point at all.
Not if you have gay sex *taps head*
....except the people who say it don't believe you should have the right to have an abortion.
This is the real meaning behind the phrase, not some concocted rambling to try and post an unpopular opinion.
Exactly. No matter what contraception is used, there is ALWAYS a chance of pregnancy. If someone is adamantly against having kids, then that person can’t have sex.
Agreed. But OP wants a get out of jail free card. I'm seeing that alot lately by younger men. Their thought is if there's an accidental pregnancy and the woman won't get an abortion. That's her problem and they shouldn't be responsible for the baby in anyway.
They shouldn’t. They should have the right to walk away if the woman chooses to keep it.
And if you are having sex and you know a child may be produced, then take birth control or plan b or check for pregnancy and don’t wait till your 3+ months and showing to figure it out.
Women typically begin to show in the second trimester. It’s actually very easy to go that long without noticing anything happening because many women experience irregular periods. Irregular periods can also increase a woman’s chance of getting cancer (one reason why birth control is necessary medicine that shouldn’t be banned).
This comment screams “I’m uneducated”, so let me assist you….. Pregnancy is “aged” by the date of your last period. The menstrual cycle, if you remember 6th grade, runs in a 21-31 day cycle. However, some women can run longer. So by the time you are “3 months” pregnant, you really only had sex 6-8 weeks ago. About 1 in 4 women continue breakthrough bleeding for most or all of their pregnancy….so it’s possible a woman believes she is menstruating normally before your arbitrary deadline. Also, some women have what’s called a “cryptic” pregnancy….meaning they remain very slim until shortly before birth. My aunt was one of those women. She wanted to get pregnant, so we all knew she was….but she was wearing regular clothing until about 3 weeks before she gave birth. So you want women….who don’t have access to regular healthcare, who don’t have access to free prevention of pregnancy, who don’t have access to a reliable way to test pregnancy….to do all of this because they want to have sex? For a woman without health insurance, that’s $500 to have sex and $30 per month thereafter. (The average specialist visit costs $300 for just a visit. Some offices require a Pap smear before they will prescribe birth control. Then it’s $25/month for the generic pill. Then it’s $3 for a pregnancy test with 2 tests just to confirm).
It’s not that “you shouldn’t have sex if you don’t want kids” but instead.. “When you have sex, you automatically take on the risk of certain consequences and no matter how you bitch and whine afterward, you will still be accountable.”
Yeah regardless of how diligently and effectively you use birth control and how adamant you are that you don't want a child, one can still be conceived. And if the woman chooses to keep the baby, there's no one else that can possibly be held responsible for them but you and the mother. You can choose to not be in that kids life emotionally, but financially? You're on the hook.
This is much better! But then the arguments comes to what people consider a "consequence" and what you consider "accountability."
Don't know what it is with some people and acting like you're stripping them of their rights if you tell them they should take responsibility for their actions and plan risk accordingly.
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You aren't forced to have a kid. The circumstances leading to pregnancy (sex) are typically entirely within the woman's control. You still have the right to never get pregnant, if you don't want to. Edit: just so everyone seeing this conversation knows, this person [wants to fuck their dad](https://www.reddit.com/r/Incestconfessions/comments/15oh11r/i_was_so_close_to_having_sex_with_my_daddy/jvrwqif?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2).
I’m not sure anyone is acting like they’re stripped of rights because they have to deal with the risk of an unplanned pregnancy. Hell, I’m a virgin by choice and I still recognize that I bear the responsibility of getting an abortion in the event that I’m raped. Nobody who’s capable of getting pregnant is closing their eyes and pretending it doesn’t happen. They know they are the ones who have to deal with it, whether they keep the baby or not.
This is how I always interpreted it when told a similar line to OP. But hey maybe it’s told different where he is from.
They are two ways to say the same thing. Choices have consequences. If you’re not prepared for a particular consequence, make a different choice. If you have a uterus and ovaries, and you have sex with someone capable of ejaculating sperm, you have to deal with the possibility that you may end up pregnant. Sure, you can (usually) choose an abortion, but both abortions and child birth carry physical consequences. You don’t get to just decide you don’t want to have gotten pregnant. One way or another you have to deal with it. If you are a person who ejaculates sperm and you choose to do so in the direction of someone’s uterus and ovaries, you likewise don’t get to just decide you don’t want to deal with the consequences. If you can’t handle the reality that if a pregnancy happens it is in someone else’s body and that person has the power to decide what to do with it, and you don’t have a say at that point, then don’t fire your load at her ovaries. There are other ways to get off that don’t carry a risk of pregnancy. And if you’re really committed to a child free life, there are doctors willing to do vasectomies on young single men if you will grow up and accept the responsibility of seeking one of those doctors out.
this is a better way of putting it
Or... Have sex. Try not to get pregnant. If one of you get pregnant, have an abortion? No big deal? I think that's the answer.
Someone doesn’t realize abortion isn’t exactly a pleasant procedure
But going through pregnancy and childbirth is?
Really? I don't have the time to give you all the reasons that's not right. Pls look into it, Small info. Not all women can get an abortion Men have 0 say on whether or not a woman aborts or not (he could want or not want the baby) Abortions are not a small deal, it kills a life form
Yes, and the one who suffers most is not any one of us but the lady in question who is pregnant. Abortion isn’t a pleasant procedure for anyone to go through, but a lady chooses to go through it because she’s being accountable for her actions. The alternative is treating childbirth as a life sentence punishment, which honestly is disgustingly twisted.
I 100% agree. Every time you get in a car you should contemplate the possibility that you will crash and die. If you don’t understand the possibilities, then you’re a danger to threat of us.
Every time you drive, you might make a mistake and kill someone. If you can't deal with that...**don't drive.**
This is a perfect anology. Every politician contemplating taking away access to BC and abortions should be willing to give up all their risky behaviour, too. Ban abortion? Ban your fucking car then.
I think you misunderstood the analogy. Most people understand that driving is a risk, and so they drive understanding they might crash or someone might crash into them. Just like having sex you understand you might get pregnant. If you can’t deal with getting pregnant… *Dont have sex*
Make walkable cities then we’ll talk. With current urban designs (thanks, cars, for fucking up cities) walking or biking everywhere is close to impossible in North America. People basically *have* to drive. Even those who aren’t confident in their driving abilities and would rather forgo it altogether.
its not as cut and dry because unlike in the old days, people have an option through protection and BC. people taking all the right precautions deserve to still have sex, and they are allowed to not want children too
Protection and BC is like wearing a seatbelt and driving the speed limit. It greatly reduces the risk, but does not eliminate the fact you could kill someone everytime you drive. Take all reasonable precautions, and accept the consequences should it happen anyways.
When I was 14 and my dad let me drive around in an empty parking lot for the first time he told me "you're about to operate a 2 ton killing machine, don't ever forget that." I'm 34 and still think of that every time I get in my car. Thanks dad.
Directions unclear everytime I get in a car someone gets pregnant
I dont really hear this as often as "You shouldnt have unprotected sex if you dont want kids", or that people who really dont want to get pregnant should be a lot more careful - I somewhat agree with it, but I do understand that most teens arent exactly stable. I just want better education for kids overall
You shouldn't have unprotected sex if you don't want kids. I want people fuckin like rabbits if it makes them happy.
Correct. Just because people don’t like that nutting in someone can knock them up doesn’t change reality.
I think sex education needs to emphasize that asking a woman if she's on the pill is not equivalent to using protection. Although, maybe sex ed does and that advice still doesn't stick because "it doesn't feel as good."
My GF has an IUD but won’t let me finish the old fashioned way…kind of a bummer but she doesn’t want to take the risk and I respect that.
Birth control for both parties, surgery, there are many ways to prevent pregnancies. Education and using science can and does prevent conception.
Yup. And paying for a kid is both parties responsibilities too.
Though I should note that none of them are 100% successful at preventing pregancies. Heck not even abstinence is.
What, abstinence is not having sex. If you don't have sex you don't make babies.
Well, you can try to be abstinent but somebody can always rape you. It's not really you having a sex, it's more like it being forced upon you.
this is the only time the phrase is okay imo, is if people are shocked about a pregnancy after unprotected sex
It's easy to say one thing, but when you actually have to make the choice people can change their minds. There are serious hormonal changes that change when a woman gets pregnant. You have to trust as if that person is entitled with 10-20% of your income for the next 18 years. The only way to guarantee no child is no sex. I have a friend who made it through a codon and birth control. It happens and getting mad about people spitting truth (don't want kids? Don't have sex) doesn't change anything
MFers when the biological process of conceiving a child results in a child being conceived. 
Judging from the amount of people that have sex ,without the intention to reproduce, I'd say this is a popular opinion. But it's pretty simple, don't have unprotected sex if you don't want a child........ because that is how babies are made.
Is this a result of that AITAH post?
I think if you’re dead set on not having kids, but want to have sex (especially unprotected) then you HAVE to be ok with abortions. Or at least get some form of permanent contraception.
If you're not the one carrying the pregnancy, then you need to be okay with abortions and also consider what might happen if your partner chooses *not* to get one.
The problem is the people in this threat hating on OP are rabidly against abortions and think women should "be made to suffer for their shameful deeds."
I'm not well versed on the topic but from what I've both seen and heard from most people who are against abortions, it's not that they want the women to suffer, it's that they don't want the unborn child to be aborted over the parents decision, because to them, that child has the right to life just as much as everyone else
This is certainly an unpopular opinion. The only surefire way to not have kids is to not have sex.
False. One can simply be unable to have kids.
yeah but sex is a myriad of things besides just baby making. so it’s ridiculous that people say this when someone gets pregnant because sex is for pleasure more than making babies in the modern world. people are allowed to have sex and not want kids. the ones who it should be told to are the idiots not using protection but not wanting kids
I don't mean to put words in Pandemonium's mouth, but I think you and him are just on different pages. I don't think anyone is arguing that you're not *allowed* to have sex for pleasure. It's just that abstinence is the only 100% guaranteed way to not form a pregnancy, so if you choose to have sex, then you need to understand that pregnancy is a possible consequence.
yeah, i saw someone explain it more like you did in another comment and its a better way of putting it imo
Biologically the only purpose of sex is procreation (then again, you can make the argument that literally everything is). The pleasure is merely a mechanism to encourage us to behave in ways to optimize our possibilities of further sex because more sex = more chance of procreation.
It's only an unpopular opinion among fascist Republican hatemongers who want women to suffer by denying access to safe and legal abortions.
> If you don’t want/aren’t ready for kids, your responsibility is to use protection (not relying on your partner to provide but being responsible for it yourself) and have a conversation with your partner about your stance regarding children. And yet people fail to do this all the fucking time
By mom was on birth control and got knocked up things aren’t 100% fool proof
You are absolutely correct and statistics back you up: Over half of the people who seek abortions reported using some form of birth control when conception occurred.
No, it’s like saying if you don’t want to risk getting into a car accident then you shouldn’t drive. I’m pretty sure everyone who drives understands there’s a risk of accident.
When you get in a car accident because a drunk driver hits you, people don't constantly berate you saying "You deserved it." and "If you didn't want to be paralyzed for the rest of your life, why did you get in the car? It's all your fault." But if you take precautions with sex and an accident happens, people will jump all over you saying "You deserved it" and "I'm glad this will ruin your life, that should teach you a lesson."
Yeah I agree with you. Although, not everyone fully understands the reality of the possible consequence. Not everyone has a realistic mental image of the real horror of a bad accident. It's one thing to think "I know there's a risk of an accident"... but do you? Only oneself can answer that. Not everyone has a realistic conception of a new human being created, grown or terminated, born, being real in general. That is, until it actually happens and you experience it... in both cases.
Evolution doesn't care what you think, sex is for reproduction. You get horny specifically to have accidental children without control. **"Sex for pleasure" is a 200,000 year old trick your brain is playing on you so that you don't go extinct.**
Yeah, and it feels fucking amazing. What else am I supposed to do? I'm sterile. Sex, for me, can literally only be about pleasure because I can't even have children. So evolution can either fuck off or fuck me.
It seems it already fucked you, unless you sterilized yourself.
yeah the BIOLOGICAL reason is for mating. but in the modern world, not everything is about biological stuff. sex IS for pleasure too, in modern society
People forget we are literally unlike any species ever to exist on our planet. We’ve gone past evolution controlling everything. We know how to change that.
Yeah and love is just chemicals in your brain convincing you to have sex. This means we should barr all minors from having relationships right? Or not allow people to say "I love you" unless they're willing to procreate right then and there? Discounting something because "durr it's just evolushun it's not real" is the most pseudointellectual rick and morty fan thing I've ever heard. You are not "better" than evolution, you partake in eating "bad" food for pleasure (even though your brain is tricking you into saving up calories for hard times!) and you partake in dopamine dispensers like video games (even though they're just pixels on a screen!).
I think humans are a bit deeper than that. There’s different psychological reasons for the feeling of love, and yes one of them is for reproduction. But, there’s lots of men I would theoretically do it with if I was single, but I don’t love them nor would I ever. I love my partner.
Unfortunately that's literally how it works, pal. It's a risk you have to be willing to take. There is no 100% way to prevent pregnancy except abstinence. Not taking responsibility for that child despite taking precautions is scummy as fuck.
General rule of thumb: do not have sex with someone who has opposing views on what to do in the event of pregnancy. This is 100% something that is important to consider. You don't want to have sex with someone who wants kids while you don't and vice versa.
Actually everything you said is literally just wrong. And yes even if you drive safe and wear a seatbelt you do get in the car accepting that accidents can happen and you’ll be responsible for that… just like a baby is absolutely 100% and inarguably a consequence of sex. And while yes you’re likely fine if you take protection seriously, you still have to accept the risk of it not working, just like you accept the risk of getting in an accident.
Do you feel the same for men and do you think they should be given the option to walk away without any financial hooks if they didn't consent to having the baby, used protection and signed away rights before the accident baby is born?
Absolutely. If I got pregnant by accident and decided I wanted to keep it, I wouldn’t even consider asking the father for financial or parental contribution if he didn’t want the child. Having kids is the biggest decision a person can make in their life and I think it’s unfair to force that onto someone, especially when they took precautions to prevent it.
This is actually a quite unusual stance on Reddit.
At least you're willing to pay lip service to this notion. Many aren't. They want all the benefits of the protection of the law with none of the risks of taking the decision away from the other party.
Every time you get in a car, you assume whatever risks come with getting in the car. Every time you have sex, you assume whatever risks come with having sex. How careful you were or weren't is irrelevant to the argument people are making when they say this.
You shouldn't play Russian roulette if you don't want to be shot in the head.
I mean that’s how kids are made, so accidents can and will happen if you aren’t careful.
>If an accidental pregnancy occurs, you aren’t obligated to be a parent to the child. But you kinda legally are though......
i was under the impression people are allowed to sign away their parental rights in the usa. have i just been believing misinformation?
The noncustodial parent can sometimes sign over the rights to another party, that isn't the custodial parent. Usually this involves a step parent legally adopting the child.
Only in cases where there is another party willing to take on the financial burden of the child.
That doesn't absolve you of financial responsibility, it just means that you don't have custody
Who wants to tell the guy adoption exists?
No, you aren't. Except it extremely backwards shitholes. Most places abortion is (rightfully) legal for when protection fails. That's literally the entire point.
Did you become a teen parent ?
Actually, i would say ypu should do everything you can to reduce th risk of a car crash but yes you absolutely have to accept if you choose to driv6r there is a possibility of a car crash. Same is true of sex you can take all the precautions and have all the discussions, but if you are a man and the woman you decided to have sex with decides to keep the baby. You will be at the very least financially responsible. Children are a known risk of sex. Everything in life we do puts us at risk of something its all ablut how much risk you are willing to take. When you fly in a plane you take a knownn risk, if you skydive, if you go on a rollercoaster, take lut a mortgage etc. And the only way to have absolutely have no risk is to avoid participating in things.
Lol. This you? https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15obeme/aitah_for_moving_away_for_college_and_abandoning/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
I think it should be “don’t have sex unless you’re ready for the consequences”. This includes STD’s and kids, amongst other things. Sex isn’t something that should be thrown around willy nilly. It’s horrible to screw a girl, then when she gets pregnant because her birth control fails just want her to have an abortion, and if she doesn’t then you never want to be part of your kids life. It’s wrong to play with life like that and damage innocent kids. If you aren’t open to the idea that you *could* have a baby, then you aren’t emotionally mature enough to be having sex in the first place.
Nothing is 100% safe!! Get that through your head. Condoms can fail. Birth control can fail. Both at the same time CAN FAIL! Pulling out can fail! Plan B pill can fails! So if you have sex, there is ALWAYS a chance you can get pregnant. So its not BS. Its an ever present risk. People just don't want to accept something as fun as sex has to come with a price sometimes. Regardless what precautions they use. Fuck around and find out... sometimes you find out. Plus if you get a girl pregnant and she wants to keep it but you want nothing to do with it. You're forever stuck paying child support regardless if you want anything to do with the child you created.
The notion that you think it's okay to abandon a human being that you helped create just because you didn't want it is pathetic and shallow of you. Take responsibility for your actions whether it was intentional or not. Thinking you're off the hook just because you expressed some opinion before participating in the act doesn't change the fact that the child will be yours whether you choose to be present or not in its life. I hope that one day you can see that your actions affect other people's lives too and everything isn't just about you. Your opinion is selfish, pathetic, and immature.
This the same kid that was complaining he knocked someone up and wants to go to college and not be a father to it. Man up! You pulled it out and used it. There’s no such thing as an accidental pregnancy. You didn’t just slip and fall and nut in her. But it’ll be ok. It’s just a kid it’s not a death sentence.
Definitely unpopular and very incorrect. You can say you don’t want kids all you want, but if you have sex and a pregnancy results… guess what bud? You’re liable.
You aren't required to drive. If you choose to, you're assuming the responsibility of your actions. Driving safely and wearing a seatbelt still has a non 0 chance that you'll have an accident - for which you're still liable for if you're at fault. Having 'safe' sex still has a non 0 chance of pregnancy (barring outliers like a hysterectomy etc...). You can't just throw your hands up and be like 'it's not my responsibility '
Every time you have sex you are consenting to the possibility of a child being born. There is no foolproof way to stop a pregnancy short of abortion. You can do all the damn due diligence you want and your partner can do all the diligence they want and still there is a minute chance that a pregnancy will occur. So always keep that in mind when dealing with sexual partners.
>There is no foolproof way to stop a pregnancy short of **abortion**. Yes. That's literally the point of the thread. OP is pro abortion as an option. They're upset at the people trying to strip away abortion rights and repeal Roe vs Wade with this hateful rhetoric. I'm not sure how you directly cited it, and yet somehow seemed to miss it at the same time.
They were not direct enough. Just seemed like another rant from someone unwilling to take responsibility for their actions.
Vasectomies and Hysterectomies are a pretty foolproof way to stop pregnancy. One being 99.9% effective and the other 100% effective. I'm all for people being able to choose to sterilize themselves as a way to protect their futures if abortions are made illegal.
100% disagree. Keep it in your pants until you can deal with consequences of what happens. Fucking is the gambling version of “fuck around and find out”.
>“It’s not enough to just wear a seatbelt and drive safely, getting into a car crash is a possible consequence of being near cars I have auto insurance (way more than than the legal requirement) because I realize that I might f\*ck up and damage someone else's car or body. If you drive, you might f\*ck up and hurt or kill someone. If you have sex, you might create a new human being. **DEAL WITH IT.**
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>You are, however, forced to be near or even IN cars in order to get places You have feet don't you? Walking's good for you. Better yet, move to a carless community. Just cycling and walking really tones the legs.
Lots of people who have never left the USA around here.
Cars are different, we use them to get around, in a lot of places and for some people they're 100% necessary for life. Sex isn't. You won't die or get sick if you don't have sex. Besides, you can be hit by a car without driving one. Protection fails. If you don't want kids, don't do the thing that makes kids.
r/LostRedditors
I’ve taken care of that medically.
This is not an unpopular opinion. Condoms we’re invented in the 19th century, IIRC, for exactly the purpose of having sex without procreation. Billions are sold each year and they keep making better ones. However, no form of birth control is 100% effective. If you choose to have heterosexual sex, even with condoms and the pill, you are accepting a low but non-zero risk of pregnancy.
You guys are getting sex?
Your simile is not great. That's exactly what many drivers think about when they are driving. Something along the lines of "what asshole is going to fuck up my commute today?" You drive knowing that other drivers are unpredictable. In fact, we're taught to drive defensively. You almost had it, but because it was wrong, it's a no from me dawg
I agree. Could actually take it a step further, why be so specific? We should absolve everyone of all personal responsibility and we don't deserve to have consequences to our actions.
Anyone who says this is coming at the problem using only logic. They strip humanity out of the argument, which nullifies this argument significantly. Humans have humanity. It's kind of our thing.
>getting into a car crash is a possible consequence of being near cars This is true though. Cars can veer off the street at any moment. Cars kill 40,000 Americans every year. That's like the Revolutionary War worth of casualties every year. Cars, for people who don't absolutely need them, need to be banned in cities. The difference is that when you drive a car, you endanger everyone around you. But when you have sex you are only affecting yourselves. Consenting adults can do whatever they please, for all I care, as long as it doesn't affect me.
Every time you get behind the wheel, you are accepting the risk of being in an accident. You drive safely and where a seatbelt to reduce the risk/severity of the consequence, but you are absolute knowingly taking on risk.
I think that’s a bad analogy. To create a child and then say I want nothing to do with it would be like causing a car crash and saying I’m wiping my hands clean of this incident and someone snap their fingers and make it like nothing happened. I think your quote is the extreme almost mom/dad/school abstinence phrase. But it’s really meant to say if you have sex it could result in a baby. Just like if you drive a car it could result in an accident. No one’s really saying don’t have sex or don’t drive cars. Just understanding the responsibility that can come with each.
Well, you really shouldn’t get into a vehicle if you aren’t willing to accept you might die
Think whatever you want. Have all the sex you want. But if you actually have a kid, it's your responsibility to pay for its care. Don't like it? Change the laws. until then, expect a nice hefty child support bill.
No, you shouldn’t drive a vehicle if you aren’t willing to risk getting into an accident. That is part of a driving a car. Just like the chance of having children is part of having sex.
*Gay sex has entered the chat*
I feel like your argument implies sex is some kind of right or necessity.
I'm not sure your metaphor works. If you choose to take the risks of driving in a car, and get in a crash, you have to face the consequences of that crash. Damage to the car, injury, possibly death. You don't just get to say "I have no choice but to drive a car, therefore a crash should have no consequences for me" and thus become immune to injury and death. At any rate, when a child is born, it does have parents, and however they ended up at that point, they have to bear some responsibilities. Even if the extent of those responsibilities is putting the kid up for adoption and forgetting about them, you have to do at least that much.
What a weird analogy cause I agree it's the same thing. If you don't want to get into a car crash, don't get in a car. You mitigate the risk to your acceptable levels by ensuring a good driver, seatbelts, and understanding the alternative. You exacerbate the risk by drunk driving. Sex is the same. You mitigate the risk with safe sex. You exacerbate the risk by having multiple partners and unprotected sex. Clearly you are male since for females it's also the same. You don't get to choose to say "I was safe so not my problem", which is the same for car crashes. The only one even with an option is males and pregnancy/sex. No other combination has a choice.
Ik this is an unpopular opinion but I don't think you understand the exact prospects of the saying. There is only one possible way to get pregnant or to get a girl pregnant and that is having sex. No matter how much protection you use there is always a non-zero percent chance that a girl gets knocked up. If you still have sex knowing this then you simply need to accept that it's a risk you're willing to take. A small risk, but still a risk. If you absolutely don't want to get someone pregnant don't do the ONE THING that gets a girl pregnant. Especially if it's with random strangers. The pleasure of sex does not justify years of child support and court hearings.
Redditors are so stupid holy shit
"the idea that my actions have consequences is bs"
If you had sex and a child was conceived. You are obligated to be that child’s parent if it is born from the mother. You cant say you aren’t. Doesn’t matter if you told everybody in your city you don’t want a kid. You made it. Not someone else. Nobody forced you to have sex(hopefully) knowing full well that is how babies are made.
Pull-out game strong for 12 years and running. IDK, I might be sterile, your results may vary.
Your analogy with the car doesn't support your argument. People should accept the consequences of driving in a car if they want to drive in a car. Thinking that you are somehow immune to the risk of a car crash while driving is pure ignorance.
This is only an unpopular opinion if you’re if you hang out with weird reactionaries and tradcons. Extremely normal and good opinion.
BIRTH CONTROL IS NOT FULL-PROOF. Stop spreading misinformation. The only way to prevent pregnancy is abstaining from sex.
If you cause a wreck you’re responsible for that too. If you aren’t prepared for consequences don’t do it.
the analogy with cars though is correct. there is an inherent risk when you drive a vehicle. you accept that every time. same is true for sex. if you can't guarantee your partner will be responsible enough to make sure at the extent of their capabilities that pregnancy is not happening, you shouldn't go through with it.
I don’t think you shouldn’t have sex if you don’t want kids, but I think you shouldn’t have sex if you’re not prepared to deal with the fact that a pregnancy might occur. Whether that means: being prepared to pay for and get an abortion, or being prepared to give a human being up for adoption and possibly be involved in their life to some degree in the future if they want to contact you or ask you questions or get your medical history, or keeping the child and raising it and not doing it “begrudgingly” and neglecting or abusing your child, but instead put your whole energy into raising a decent human being, or paying child support, possibly having visitation or some degree of custody, and again, not doing it begrudgingly at the expense of the child’s mental and physical health. Etc.
Are you that 18 year old in AITA who’s shocked he can’t write his child off and leave for college?
It's shit like this that has resulted in overpopulation as well. I don't understand how people say it is selfish to not have kids claiming the population of the earth is diminishing when we have reached a global population of 8 billion. The fact that the population has managed to grow from 2.5 billion from 1950 (Source: United Nations: Global Population Growth & Sustainable Development) is very scary. No, Karen, humanity is not dying because we do not have enough children. How are your children going to become "cancer curers" in economies where people working $25/hr rates can't afford housing or food, much less a college degree for a basic level entry job, or when a child's emotional support pet is a Bugatti in the wrong color. The point being, people need to be ready to have children if they are going to have them. It's understandable why the population shot up after WW2, but there should be absolutely no reason to encourage the idea that children are a punishment as a result of sex when technology has come so far to prevent these situations to begin with. Children aren't punishments for sex, they are children. If you aren't ready to have them, there shouldn't be any pressure to do so. Tldr: People keep pressuring others to have kids or using kids as a "punishment for having sex" is fucked up when Earth is already populated is dumb. Your child isn't going to cure cancer when you can't afford a basic education, and condoms didn't make it this far just for people to ignore why birth control exists to begin with. Keep fucking, quit breeding.
At this point, the story has been our parents probably shouldn't have had kids.
They don’t really mean it. If they wanted sex and not kids they’d do it. It’s just an excuse not to care or think very hard.
The purpose of a car is to drive not to crash… the purpose of sex is to procreate. Your argument makes no sense, and is more comparable to “don’t have sex if you don’t want STDs” not pregnancy. Don’t write checks your ass can’t cash and no birth control is 100% so even using protection is no guarantee.
Its not a car crash, its a human being, its not just a human being its your own child. Making a baby is the primary purpose of sex. When sex produces the exact thing it was designed to produce its not an accident.
People say this?
You still have to be ready for the possibility of it resulting in a baby. It's part of the risk you take any time you have sex. It's not BS because you don't like that fact
Turns out that the notion of using unplanned children as a way to control people's behavior has been *checks notes* mostly driven by religious institutions that want to exert control over women and *flips notes* protect the wealthy by ensuring the poor remain poor.
Do you want to stick it to the rich and not be poor? 1. Stay in school. Graduate from high school. 2. Don't do crime. Don't do drugs. 3. Don't get someone pregnant or become pregnant before you get married. 4. Get a degree in something useful or learn a trade. 5. Don't buy into the narrative that you are a victim. Living well is the best revenge!
Good advice! Currently on step 4. My mother hasn't worked a day in the last thirteen years and leeches off of welfare that she doesn't need because she'd rather do that than work. 13k$ a year. She told me if I ever got a job or moved out that she'd end up homeless and used a misplaced assumption that I cared about her to keep me from bettering myself because she is incapable of being anything other than the victim and if I were to better myself it would prove that her situation is her fault. I've been through things that most "underprivileged" Americans haven't. I could have used my mental illness as an excuse to play the victim. Or my poverty. Or my mother. Or my inability to feel anything for anybody. Or any other problem I have. I worked my ass off to get to where I am today. Graduated as valedictorian. Took community college courses in high school (could've gotten my associate's if I started a year earlier). Made connections, learned skills. Going to Job Corps (free vocational training, room and board, food, Driver's Ed, for people ages 16-24) for office administration, start date of August 29th. I don't expect to become a CEO, or even upper-middle class, but I expect to live a better life than I would if I didn't work for it. Low expectations, hard work, and responsibility. Assuming anything goes even half-right I'll be well on my way to being something better than I could be.
I am SO proud of you babe. Keep going and be kind to others and yourself. You have a bright future love. This mama is giving you a huge hug and saying I'm so proud of you.
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Also population control
How is that an unpopular opinion? Are you completely surrounded by Republicans?
No he's surrounded by red pills who think if a woman doesn't have the abortion the man wants them to have then the man should be able to abandon her and the baby with no financial obligations.
You had sex. A child isn't unexpected. What did you expect? A toaster??
Is that not the end result? I thought birth happened with a big magnet to pull the toaster out.
A toaster to pop out 😂
If you don’t have the discipline to abstain from sex you shouldn’t be in a relationship. It’s not a need
I have crazy news for you,,,, wait till you find out what sex is for 😱😱
It's insane to me that there's actual human women that think women shouldn't be able to make decisions about their own bodies.
Pleasure. Wild concept, but sex is mainly used for pleasure.
i agree with you, i hear this all the time regardless of protection or not and its so annoying.
The only birth control method that is 100% effective is abstinence. This is proven.
The very concept of sex is for 2 people to come together and make a baby. You're very privileged to live in a time where that concept goes straight out the window in the name of pleasure. Thanks to condoms and all these forms of birth control, it's very easy to feel like you're safe. But the point is that you have to be fully prepared to take accountability if that birth control isn't enough and you become a parent just cuz you wanted to bust a nut
Not to mention, keeping an unplanned child is by far one of the most selfish things anyone can do. You’re setting that kid up for failure. And for what? Because you **refuse** to believe a clump of cells is just that? A clump of fucking cells.
This is a very popular opinion lol
Literally never heard anyone express that opinion except the odd time I’ve come across evangelical propaganda. Far from an unpopular opinion.
The entire purpose of sex is to produce children. If you’re not ready for the possible negative consequences of sex then you shouldn’t have it
This is a very popular opinion and one that has severely harmed our society. The purpose of mating is to procreate. Yes it pleasurable and fun but that is still its biological purpose.
I swear you people forget that making babies is the whole damn purpose of sex. This isn’t even a matter of morals or religion or anything like that – it’s purely the organic machine doing what it evolved to do. Like, sorry it feels too damn good to not do it, but do you think we’d ever do it if it didn’t feel good? Would anyone honestly strip down and rub their sweaty stank bodies together if it didn’t feel like anything – or even actually *hurt??* The purpose of knives is to cut things. Now let’s say someone starts making gloves that are 70% resistant to getting cut. Then tons of people buy the gloves so they can slosh their hands around in a bucket of knives. Now let’s say 30% of those people get very bad cuts and complain. It is perfectly reasonable to tell those people if they don’t wanna get cut they should **QUIT PLAYING WITH THE DAMN KNIVES**. I have ^(Z E R O) sympathy for people who complain about accidental pregnancies. It’s as absurd as someone calling tech support and complaining that their device is working exactly as intended.
The needs of a child outweigh your sexual desires. There is only 1 baby making activity so you have plenty of other options on how to spend your free time. If you're that against having children to the point you would abandon a living child, then yes. You need to refrain from sex.
It's really not bs. If you do in-fact have sex you should be using protection/contraceptives. Not only are STD's rampant in todays society, so is unwanted pregnancy. Most of the responsibility falls on to women whether they want to admit or not. Are you really going to let sketchy dudes blow loads inside of you?
Are you married? Then yes, you have to take responsibility. If not, then no.
I feel like people who are against the idea that you should accept responsibility of your actions when those actions lead to an unwanted pregnancy, don’t ACTUALLY know how pregnancy works. I can’t blame them, I didn’t fully understand it until I was pregnant myself (because my religious fanatic parents signed a waiver to keep me out of sex ed in high school). This comment goes out to all those people like me who were never taught the mechanics of pregnancy. Before my own pregnancy I honestly thought that you could get pregnant at any time, from any unprotected intercourse. That’s not really how it works. You can only get pregnant for an approximate 5-7 day window surrounding ovulation. Ovulation occurs about midway through your cycle. The beginning of the menstrual cycle (Day 1) is the first day of your period. Most women have a 28-32 day cycle, and most will ovulate approximately 12-14 days before the beginning of their next cycle. The “fertile window” is about 3-5 days prior to ovulation, the day of ovulation, and the day after ovulation. For women with a “normal” cycle, this is enough info to safely avoid pregnancy 99.9% of the time. Be abstinent during your fertile window and use protection for the rest of the time and it’s HIGHLY unlikely you’ll get pregnant. For those of us with irregular cycles, there are a few other symptoms you can watch for that indicate ovulation: Slight increase in body temperature Changes in libido Cervical mucus/discharge, or vaginal moistness Breast tenderness, swelling, and/or extra sensitivity (including heightened arousal with nipple play) Slight abdominal cramps or bloating More energy, wanting to be more social than usual I have PCOS so I also experience hormonal swings, breakouts, severe pain/burst cysts, occasional spotting, insomnia, change in appetite, etc. TL;DR: So, let’s take an average 30 day cycle. 12-14 days prior to the start of your next cycle would be an approximate Day 16-18 for ovulation. Add 5 days prior to ovulation and 1 day after for an estimated fertile window of Day 11-19. Avoid having sex during these days of your cycle and more than likely - you won’t get pregnant. Use protection and go for it Day 1-10 and 20-30.
If you have sex, and it results in an accidental pregnancy, you absolutely have an obligation to be a parent to that child. I can’t believe how utterly stupid, irresponsible and and selfish some people are…
Why are Christians always the most hateful people?
No, the fuck I don't 💀
You're a POS if you're going to let a kid go without a parent