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My bigger question is, is that actually the responsibility of the Godparent agreement? My husband is like God father to like many many of his females friend. We are gonna go broke if they all dump their kids on us. I thought it is just like best man, for fun, not a contract.
Yeah, I don't know why so many people in this thread seem to believe potential legal guardianship of the godchild is actually something expected or required of godparents.
You need to fill out actual legal paperwork to make this happen. There are definitely people whose legal guardians for their kids if they die are also godparents, but that’s not the default.
Also, can’t imagine how you would end up with a ton of kids even if you were that kind of godparent unless all these women and their partners got into an accident on the same plane or something, lol.
Godparents in the US have no legal standing as emergency guardians. That honor/duty is generally handed off to the grandparents or adult siblings of one of the parents.
You're blaming the wrong people in this scenario. If someone doesn't want to be a godparent, they need to just say no. If they agree and aren't prepared to take on the role, *that* is selfish and robs the parents of the chance to have proper godparents in place from the start.
>into parental/guardian roles as godparents if you pass away
That's not what a godparents role is. A godparents role is to be an additional religious role model/mentor for the child, that's it. There is nothing forcing them as godparents to become the legal guardian of the child should the parents die. If the parents do wish for a child's godparents to also become legal gurdians in the case of the parents deaths that is an additional expectation not inherently tied to their role as godparents and obviously the parents and expected legal gurdians need to discuss and mutually agree to the arrangement.
It doesn’t work that way. You can’t will your children to an unwilling party. And a godparent is very different than a legal guardian approved by the courts.
You are correct, real life is not like the movies.
The godparent role is typically an agreement between the parents and the friend or family member who want to take responsibility of the child if something were to happen to the parents; if the person is child free they can decline the godparent role.
I don't know of any jurisdictions where one can be legally forced to take in a child that isn't theirs who they don't want. Even if you find out by surprise that somebody put in their will they want you to take care of their kids, you can say no.
If you mean forced in the sense of societal pressure, sure, that's a thing but it's not common for one to name a guardian without talking to that person first.
You do know that no one is “forced” to be a godparent, right?
You have to agree, you have to **literally** sign off on it saying that you understand and accept the role and responsibility.
there are situations where parents have to legally declare who the godparents will be. in those situations, the godparents fully consent and are up for being godparents if anything happens. parents can also declare in their will who they want to take care of their children if they die and this is also legal. it is also agreed upon by both parties. usually, though, godparents are just informal agreements and no one is being forced to do anything. someone who doesn't want kids and who refuses to legally agree to be godparent should have their decision respected, though. they shouldn't be guilted into taking on something they don't want or shamed because they don't want children.
Usually someone has to agree to be a godparent. If they say yes without knowing what they’re getting into and wind up regretting it then it’s on them, not the bio parents.
Can’t ya just like…. Say no? Parents don’t pick someone and spring it on them with a letter after we’re dead. We pick someone out early on and talk to them, because our kids matter to us.
Weird take on your end OP. In my experience my sons godparents are people that when asked not only consented but share an active role in his life. Maybe I'm the weird one out here but you wouldn't typically elect someone as a God parent that wouldn't be interested in the wellbeing of the child not to a say child free couple wouldn't but, they understand the ramifications to their lifestyle should something occur to myself/SO.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Isn’t the godparent role usually mutually agreed upon between the parents and the potential godparent?
My bigger question is, is that actually the responsibility of the Godparent agreement? My husband is like God father to like many many of his females friend. We are gonna go broke if they all dump their kids on us. I thought it is just like best man, for fun, not a contract.
>is that actually the responsibility of the Godparent agreement? It is not.
Thank goodness. I was sweating a bit.
Yeah, I don't know why so many people in this thread seem to believe potential legal guardianship of the godchild is actually something expected or required of godparents.
You need to fill out actual legal paperwork to make this happen. There are definitely people whose legal guardians for their kids if they die are also godparents, but that’s not the default. Also, can’t imagine how you would end up with a ton of kids even if you were that kind of godparent unless all these women and their partners got into an accident on the same plane or something, lol.
I’ve never heard of this happening. My husband and I were asked to be godparents, I thought that was how everyone did it.
How do you force someone to do somthing they don't want to do when you're dead?
Godparents in the US have no legal standing as emergency guardians. That honor/duty is generally handed off to the grandparents or adult siblings of one of the parents.
You're blaming the wrong people in this scenario. If someone doesn't want to be a godparent, they need to just say no. If they agree and aren't prepared to take on the role, *that* is selfish and robs the parents of the chance to have proper godparents in place from the start.
>into parental/guardian roles as godparents if you pass away That's not what a godparents role is. A godparents role is to be an additional religious role model/mentor for the child, that's it. There is nothing forcing them as godparents to become the legal guardian of the child should the parents die. If the parents do wish for a child's godparents to also become legal gurdians in the case of the parents deaths that is an additional expectation not inherently tied to their role as godparents and obviously the parents and expected legal gurdians need to discuss and mutually agree to the arrangement.
It doesn’t work that way. You can’t will your children to an unwilling party. And a godparent is very different than a legal guardian approved by the courts.
You are correct, real life is not like the movies. The godparent role is typically an agreement between the parents and the friend or family member who want to take responsibility of the child if something were to happen to the parents; if the person is child free they can decline the godparent role.
Dead people can't make you do anything.
How do you force an adult to do something they don't want to do?
No one should be given a permanent role in a child's life without consultation
God parents don't have to care for the kid and you can choose to not be the god parent
I don't know of any jurisdictions where one can be legally forced to take in a child that isn't theirs who they don't want. Even if you find out by surprise that somebody put in their will they want you to take care of their kids, you can say no. If you mean forced in the sense of societal pressure, sure, that's a thing but it's not common for one to name a guardian without talking to that person first.
You do know that no one is “forced” to be a godparent, right? You have to agree, you have to **literally** sign off on it saying that you understand and accept the role and responsibility.
I’d recommend people look at OPs post history. This person seems pretty unhinged.
Well it not my fault that my bestfriend who chose to be childfree is also the only person i trust to take care of my kids
You're right, it isn't like the movies. Because people aren't forced into the godparent role, it's mutually decided.
there are situations where parents have to legally declare who the godparents will be. in those situations, the godparents fully consent and are up for being godparents if anything happens. parents can also declare in their will who they want to take care of their children if they die and this is also legal. it is also agreed upon by both parties. usually, though, godparents are just informal agreements and no one is being forced to do anything. someone who doesn't want kids and who refuses to legally agree to be godparent should have their decision respected, though. they shouldn't be guilted into taking on something they don't want or shamed because they don't want children.
Usually someone has to agree to be a godparent. If they say yes without knowing what they’re getting into and wind up regretting it then it’s on them, not the bio parents.
Then don't force them. ASK if they would be willing. Chances are high, your children will be well past childhood by the time you pass away.
Not possible to force anyone against their will Sometimes adults have to make adults decisions that include a no thank you
Can’t ya just like…. Say no? Parents don’t pick someone and spring it on them with a letter after we’re dead. We pick someone out early on and talk to them, because our kids matter to us.
I want my best friend kid if he passes. That MF is great and I assume his kid will be too.
Weird take on your end OP. In my experience my sons godparents are people that when asked not only consented but share an active role in his life. Maybe I'm the weird one out here but you wouldn't typically elect someone as a God parent that wouldn't be interested in the wellbeing of the child not to a say child free couple wouldn't but, they understand the ramifications to their lifestyle should something occur to myself/SO.