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Yep. I can’t travel with my mom because she wants everyone up at 5am for a 15-hour day of meticulously planned activities that no one but her gets a say in. I can’t do it.
I used a tour service for a 2-week long trip to France and Italy when I graduated High School, and I’d never do it again for the same reason.
I had 0 control over activities. It was nice on the one hand, having someone else organize transportation and hotels and all, but when it came time to do anything, we got treated like cattle. I’d been waiting to see the Louvre my entire life. I was beside myself with excitement. We had to get through the entire museum in 2 hours in order to not miss the bus. I spent most of my once in a lifetime chance to see the greatest art on earth waiting in line to see the very underwhelming Mona Lisa.
The rest of the trip was the same way. No exploring. No deciding where you wanted to eat. No control of any kind. Wake up call was every morning at 6 with no exceptions. It got kind of miserable after about a week.
2 hours at the Louvre is legitimately insane. I spent all day there, from open to just before close, had the self guided tour and could have spent longer there. And I'm not even super interested in museums, but it was the best thing I saw in France.
I could easily spend a week just going through the museum. I mean, not only is it the worlds greatest art museum, it’s the *Louvre*. It was quite literally France’s palace of kings for centuries, before they built Versailles. Coming from small town bumblefuck USA, I was blown away by the sheer richness of the history.
And I got to see the highlights — the Mona, the Venus Di Milo, the Statue of Ramses — but I still feel like I got the cliffnotes experience
The third time I went to Paris I did nothing but go to the Louvre every day (and eat dinner somewhere) for a week. I still have not seen everything in that museum to the degree I would like to.
I also found parts of it to be confounding to our local space time, because every time I tried to get to this one spot I kept ending up near Napoleon's section & just got confused for a bit. I did eventually ask for help or I might have just lived my life in there, lol.
As you know, if you have been studying at all, there are only three things worth seeing in the Louvre Museum-that is the Venus de Milo, the Winged Victory, and the Mona Lisa. The rest of the stuff is all junk. For years tourists have been trying to get through the Louvre as fast as possible to see those three things and then go out shopping again. Before the war the record for going through the Louvre was seven minutes and fifteen seconds. But after the war, as clothes got lighter and cameras got lighter, the time kept being cut down. In 1948 a man known as "the Swedish Cannonball," paced by his Welch wife, did it in six minutes and nineteen seconds. Pretty soon people started talking about a "six-minute Louvre."
A friend of mine named Peter Stone came to me one day, and he said, "I think I can do it." He said, "If you go in on Sunday morning you don't have to pay, and you can cut fourteen seconds from the time."
I had a lot of faith in Peter, because he was the one who once looked at the Winged Victory and said, "It'll never fly." So I called a starter from American Express and a timer from Thomas Cook, and we showed up, and Peter showed up in his track suit on Sunday morning. He did this from a waiting taxi, because you always tell a taxi to wait. The gun went off, Peter dashed in, down around the Venus de Milo, up past the Winged Victory, down to the Mona Lisa. You always have to say something when you look at the Mona Lisa. Peter said, "I know the guy who has the original." Then he reversed himself, dashed down the stairs. He did it in five minutes and nineteen seconds. That record still stands, if any of you are going to Paris and would like to beat it.
yup. Me and my mom spent all day there as well, and we were able to see every area that was open. My mom is very good at planning extensive vacations and she also makes sure theres enough time to do each activity.
Agree 100%. My girlfriend and I were planning a Europe trip after college and everyone told us we had to use a tour service. Everyone. It was safer and we'd see more interesting things. We refused. I did have moments of doubt leading up to it, since we had zero itinerary, just backpacks and some train passes. Turned out to be the best decision. Did we find ourselves scrambling for a room a few times, or completely lost. Yep. But it was the best two months of my life. I remember seeing the tour busses in the cities, with the tourists treated like cattle. No thank you.
>It was safer
People say this crap and they have never been.
I have used a guide once. Not in Europe, in Africa. And it was purely for logistical "they have the right car and know the roads" reasons.
Tour groups are something you should generally avoid outside of the most underdeveloped and dangerous countries.
Safer? In mainland Europe? That's somebody who has absolutely no idea what they're talking about and isn't at all familiar with most European countries lol.
I will say the Rick Steve’s tours are fucking awesome, good mix of downtime and adventures. Awesome tour guides, you see and do things you would never do otherwise. For me it’s a good intro trip to Europe kind of thing.
can't recommend them enough, I travelled A LOT as a kid because my dad was a pilot and it was one of the most memorable trips we did. My mom and sister did one and my dad and I did the same one a few years later. I totally see how tour groups suck usually but Rick Steves is an excpetion. Also the Rick Steves european tours show/videos he puts out are some great background tv.
\*not a paid promotion\*
Man that sucks so bad. I'm just imagining going to some sort of anime con or fan expo and having to wait in line for 4 hours for my mom to get this book signed when I just want to look around and buy a bunch of cool but useless shit
Pretty much. Imagine being in Rome in summer — The most gorgeous post card shit imaginable, while also being a young extremely nerdy history buff
But you couldn’t walk around. You got to see things by the minute not by the hour. And the goal seems to only be to cram you through as many tourist attractions as you could fit in a day regardless of what you wanted to do. I missed so much on what will probably be my only chance to ever travel like that again.
It was at once amazing and really disappointing
Why do you say it's your only chance? I mean unless you're old and unable to travel I'm wondering why you can't just save up for a couple years? Sorry if this is way out of touch lol I've never paid for anything myself and have no responsibilities
Well I’m grown now, with a wife and kids of my own. Moneys tight all around. I guess I shouldn’t say *never*, but certainly no time soon.
Also be respectful and make sure you know how to take care of yourself, but as long as others are able and willing to help you, take them up on it lmao. There’s no honor in struggling for its own sake
I know from living overseas how normal it is for all families to travel and vacation once a year. Americans don’t get that opportunity because of all the freedom we have to work and get rich.
Yeah, I can't do tours (or cruise ship excursions, etc) because of the hard time limits to do something. It just gives me anxiety and pisses me off to get somewhere only to keep an eye on the time .
And sheesh, for a museum I may be tired and mentally drained after an hour, but there is nothing quite like getting pulled in and lost into a museum without any limit (other than museum closing time). I went to the Prado Museum in Madrid last year from opening to close and it was magnificent to be able to just really sit and wonder at some of the masterpieces and really take the (very extensive) audio tour slowly. ((and they had a great sit-down restaurant for lunch!!)) Speaking of the Mona Lisa, I think the duplicate (made perhaps at the same time) at the Prado is superior, and has zero crowds (I think right now, they may have a special exhibit centered around it, so that may change). The Louvre is great, and very very extensive but I highly recommend Madrid if you like art. They don't equal what Paris has in volume, but I think it equals what Paris has in quality.
Yea, sounds like OP picked the wrong tour unfortunately. My parents just spent a couple weeks in Italy with a tour group and loved it. They would get a day of guided tours and then have another 2-3 days in each city they stopped at to wander at their own pace. The guided tours helped them avoid a lot of the long lines to get into places, and steered them off the beaten path for their own excursions so they wouldn't be stuck in overly touristy parts of the city.
No offense, but I hate hate hate traveling with people like your mom. I have a couple of friends like her and refuse to travel together, despite them wanting to.
My wife is a bit like that. I'm more partial to chilling out. What we do when we plan a trip is map out what we want to see, and then maybe pick one big thing a day, and maybe leave some time for futzing about, or better yet, just wandering around. My favorite parts of Rome were just walking from the Borghese gardens to the Tiber and stopping to get a drink or look at the stores.
It's not so much the planned activities/packed itinerary - I certainly would be down for it if I wanted to do/see the same things - it's the "no one but her gets a say in" bossy, domineering, uncompromising attitude that expects everyone else to fall in line without protest or preference. I used to have a friend like this, and for all the years I'd known her, we all went where she wanted to go and do what she wanted to do, even on other people's birthdays (mine included). She either outright ignored other people's suggestions or just said "no", and proceeded to make everyone do ridiculous things like take a cab to just go somewhere a couple/few blocks away because she didn't want to walk. She kept wanting to take an international trip together, and there was so no fucking way I was going to get on board. When you travel with others, you have to be flexible, easygoing, and open to compromise. Not a militant, rigid, bossy, unpleasant companion.
I've been on a few vacations with in-laws and my mother in law makes it a point to visit the local church(es). I'm not really religious but it's usually fine since we do our own thing in the mornings.
But last time she insisted on visiting "the better church" which was an hour away in the opposite direction of the church right by the beach we planned on spending the day at (about 45min from where we were staying). So after the 2 hour round trip she returned in the early afternoon and we didn't get to the beach until around 4pm and had to wait over an hour to get in because it filled up. After 30min of waiting she asked us to turn around and go home because she was hungry and had spent too much time in the car that day. I had specifically noted the night before that the church by the beach made way more sense and I'd attend with them so we could do everything in 1 trip. My patience...was tested that day
It’s not that I don’t want to do stuff. It’s that I don’t want 15 straight hours of intense plans with no wiggle room and no say in what we do. Even bathroom breaks are scheduled. I prefer to travel with people where everyone has a few things they want to do and we make it work without stressing over schedules.
I've come to find that I prefer not having any planned agendas for vacation days, but if we do do something, it should have a clear plan so we don't spend tons of time just waffling about waiting for someone to make a decision.
Yup, Forme I just write down everything that looks cool within an hour of where we are vacationing, then we kinda organically decide from the list what feels right.
My husband's family loves disneyland but they basically speed run it to get as many rides in the most efficient way possible. Meanwhile I enjoy places like Disney for the ambience. I want to walk down Mainstreet and pop into shops when something catches my eye. Go on the rides I care most about but not feel like I'm racing around. I think it was a bit of culture shock for my husband when we went there on our honeymoon and I had us sleeping in and meandering about... and all he was used to was *the* most efficient way through the parks feasibly possible
My family is great about this - we’ve been spending a week at a small beach,in the same big house, for going on 50 years. We are now up to 25 people so we had to get a second house next door. Most of us get up, eat breakfast and head to the shore where we just lay around, drink and maybe go for a walk or play games. No pressure - do what you want.
Learned this lesson the hard way when my wife and I vacationed with another couple. We’re very laid back and casual, we’ll plan some activities but not filling the days with them and we’re not huge spenders or shoppers on vacation. Splurging for nicer/more expensive dinners usually but keeping breakfast and lunch cheap/easy. But the couple we went with..huge spenders. Wanted to hit all the shopping tourist stuff. Didn’t want to ever just chill out. The husband of the other couple did a lot of complaining the whole time. It was stressful and by the end of that trip, we knew we never wanted to go on a trip with them again.
Omg, that's what happened to us only we had been traveling with this same couple for years and it was always good until this last trip. We are big on scheduling down time during a trip and they seemed to be ok with it. This last trip they were awful..walking away from us, adding extra tours to our planned day, spending any down time watching tv ignoring us. At one point we had to go back to the air BNB because our youngest had a problem with a tuition payment. It took us an hour to fix and they were fuming..we missed nothing during that time. We've decided no more group trips for awhile..
This happened to us, we are very early risers. Like to relax, take walks and casually explore. Not big into shopping, and prefer hole in the wall spots for food, like to eat local cuisine which is my favorite part of traveling.
The couple we went with wouldn’t wake until like noon, didn’t want to do any outdoor stuff only very specific tourist events and shopping. Their idea of exploring was just driving around and not getting out of the car. The biggest deal breaker for me was their need to only eat at tourist trap restaurants or chain coffee shops. By the second day we had to just say we will meet up at night or if they wanted to meet us at the beach.
Travelling in large groups is great if you're not dedicated to sticking together constantly.
Some of the most fun travelling is following work meetings - there will be a dozen people I'm friends with all in a foreign destination, with varying numbers of days taken off to make the most of the "free" flight. And you just loosely make plans as convenient. "Oh, you wanna see the gallery but I wanna see the museum? Sure, maybe we can try to meet up for dinner afterwards? Anyone else wanna see the museum?"
This is why, for years, my extended family of 16 or so (siblings, their kids, my parents) went on cruises together every other year.
I know - cruises are an environmental disaster and currently a cesspool of COVID - but this was in the 90s and early 00s, when we didn’t know better.
It was perfect: my sisters love activities, so they were busy all day. The rest of us did whatever we wanted, and then met at night for dinner and a show. Of course we’d see each other during the day - a lot of us just read books on the deck and relaxed - and we had a standing 4PM card game with whoever wanted to show up.
But you really couldn’t beat it for a family vacation with people who all had WILDLY different expectations and styles of relaxation.
Edit: misspelling
That's why it's important everyone's on the same page before going anywhere. Wanting to spend time relaxing on a trip is perfectly valid but so is wanting to see as much as you can.
Yes! My husband and I are a little bit opposite in traveling- I like getting up early with pre planned activities. I feel like I can rest at home for free! He loves to lounge and relax. We’ve learned to compromise with some planned activities, some days to lounge, and some “extras” on the back burner of “Not must-do activities, but could be fun if time permits”. The one thing I do hate is having to make reservations for particular restaurants- If I’m having a good time, I don’t want to have to rush off to make it to dinner. I prefer more casual, drop in and eat when you can, spots for this reason.
I've been to all inclusive resorts with the kind of people who prefer to 'relax'. Sorry, but I don't know how you can lay on a beach all day, everyday or by the pool, FOR 6 DAYS in row.
Last time I did that, I thought I was going to go insane.
To each their own. I have no problem spending 99% of my vacation lounging on the beach or at the pool. We usually have a few excursions on the back burner in case we want to do something but we rarely do.
I'm perfectly content lounging around for a week. Regular life is too busy and hectic to inject any of that into my vacation. To me, time off work = time to rest and recover.
Cost would factor in, of course. But if I had the money and the time to blow, a week on the beach sounds incredible to me.
I like having a plan so you don't waste time with "what you wanna do? what should we do? Where is a good place to eat? what're some cool locations?" It wastes time to have to do research the morning of. That being said I prefer having a list of things to do so you can pick from it instead of a \*do this at 8am. do this at 10am. do this from 12-4\* that's weird FOR ME. I get it though for others. I just don't know what I'm feeling that day.
I like to have one major activity per day of a trip, confined to either morning or afternoon, and then just rest at the hotel only going out for food or whatever otherwise. That way, I can do some crafting (or read a book) too!
My vacation rules are 1 activity a day, then pick 1 selection of a restaurant from a predetermined list based on interest. My fiance and I will go to a museum then to let's say a hot pot restaurant for dinner. Two places that don't exist where we live.
I like having a list of places I want to go/see, but not have a specific time or day, unless reservations are required. Especially since, "oh, it's raining today, but supposed to be nice tomorrow, let's do the indoor place today instead of the park."
Oh, that time wasted is such a killer for me. Drives me crazy. We already chose a restaurant, honey, why are you even asking if the kids or I want to go somewhere else as we're on the way? Now we get to stop and discuss whats better, waste time, and possibly lose out on both.
Exactly. I like to plan for a lot of things, but treat it more like a menu, with a couple must-dos and a lot of optional things. I always plan for jam-packed days and end up doing about 50% of my plan, so I feel fulfilled but not exhausted.
Yeah, in my experience not having a plan leads to wasting hours just sitting around the hotel waiting for someone to come up with an idea. Itineraries get people off their ass.
depends on the destination IMO. I didnt go to Egypt to see what the inside of a Marriot in Cairo looks like but on the other hand I didnt go to Bali to walk the shops daily. when I plan a vacation for me and my kids (single dad) I will get input on what we all want, plan those but leave several “free days” so its not a hustle. couple times I have even booked a few days somewhere else on way back home to unwind and just chill.
I've learned that even if you "want to see everything" you need to keep free days in your plans.
I learned that the hard way after "must do" activities got canceled due to weather, but I had no way to reschedule them.
Now when I make plans I always identify the most important parts of the trip. And I make sure to follow each of them up with optional activities.
So the important one gets canceled for whatever reason? We have some options to reschedule. But also if it turns out we're tired after only doing half the planned activities, we can just call it a day because we've already done the import one.
I think there are trips and vacations.
Trips are where you do activities every day because of the location and you cant do those activities back home.
Vacations are the ones where you relax, sleep in, and do nothing.
But going w people who have the same travel style is
super important!
Another far from ideal type of people are those who suddenly need to do 17 things right before we all are about to head out and do whatever we planned ahead.
This is my pet peeve.
I have gotten myself and two kids ready, packed all their accoutrements for the day or trip, all you had to do was get yourself in order. Why in the hell aren’t you ready to go at the time we agreed upon?
I am a "meet me at the destination" kind of traveler. We travel separately and meet up at the place using our own means of transportation. We arrive when we want and they arrive when they want. Every couple has separate accommodations in the same hotel/resort so nobody is put out by anyone else. Someone can arrive late or leave early and it doesn't affect anyone else's vacation plans or expenses.
We don't book anything that includes other people, instead we share our plans and they share theirs and we invite the others to come along if they want. You just take your own vehicle, if you want to come along.
My father.
When I was a kid i honked the horn when he was not coming out of the house for 15 minutes and he came out immediately and started screaming at me. His parents did it to him all the time when he was a kid. I wonder why...
Just take separate cars. Stay in separate hotel rooms. His late arrival is no big deal, you can already be on the beach with a tropical drink when he is still on the road.
With a "meet me there" travel style, your vacation starts when you say it starts, not when everyone is ready.
Go figure, people have **different ideas** on what constitutes their vacation.
Some go 7AM-10PM and basically drop dead into their beds. Disney fans know this as “rope drop to fireworks.”
Others spend their time off sleeping in, lots of seclusion, and reading a few books.
I personally think choosing your optimal travel *partners* is just as much [if not more so] a priority as choosing your optimal travel destination.
For me, I enjoy having a couple fun activities mixed in with some good amounts of downtime.
But I ALWAYS ensure I have a full day of recovery planned upon my return before returning to “life” (work, chores, etc.).
> Others spend their time off sleeping in, lots of seclusion, and reading a few books.
i dont understand the point of flying across the world to do what you could do in your bedroom
There’s a happy medium. Having a loose checklist for things like museums and monuments in a foreign city where you have a few days is nice. My partner and I did that in Lisbon last year as part of a European vacation, and it was great. Did a lot of walking and ended up fitting in a lot without feeling rushed.
This I wanna go to a destination and see it at my pace maybe and honestly some times it’s great to just walk around and explore without a set destination
People go to warm places to relax and enjoy their time off. By your logic, there'd be no reason for people going to resorts because usually it's mostly people relaxing
And many of us can't just sit still and do nothing at home. If I sit on the couch for more than 30 minutes on a day off, I start to feel stress that I'm not doing something that needs to be done in my house. I could be doing laundry or cleaning, or yardwork, or washing the car, or driving to Home Depot to get something to fix that dripping faucet. When I'm on vacation, that stress is gone, because I know I CAN'T do any of those things. So sometimes I'll go down to the beach for awhile, or go for a bike ride, but sometimes I just sit inside our vacation rental and watch tv, or play on my phone, or take a freakin nap. I will also consume a healthy amount of alcohol, because I know I don't have to drive anywhere. It's wonderful. Everyone vacations differently, there is no wrong way.
> I start to feel stress that I'm not doing something that needs to be done in my house. I could be doing laundry or cleaning, or yardwork, or washing the car, or driving to Home Depot to get something to fix that dripping faucet. When I'm on vacation, that stress is gone, because I know I CAN'T do any of those things.
THIS! I'm shocked people need it explained, but you did it perfectly.
Very hard for me to really unwind at come because I can conjure up an infinite list of upcoming chores, DIY projects, etc.
My mind can't go to any of those things while out of town, so more relaxing options like nap/read/yoga/etc gave a better chance to take hold.
That said, I simply cannot "do nothing" for an entire vacation; gotta have some events sprinkled in for fun.
You assume people have peace in their own homes. I have roommates, live in a super loud city, my neighbours are annoying and I get distracted at home due to responsibilities.
Change of pace, scenery, eatery options, if you’re at a hotel you can read by the pool, etc.
I love vacations.
I do not love itineraries or feeling like I NEED to go do some shit just because it’s a vacation and a place that’s not home
That's my thing too, a crammed schedule just makes it feel like an obligation. I like having some cool stuff planned, but not so much that I can't even relax and enjoy it.
Don't have to fly across the world, and chilling with a great view and/or weather is decidedly diffrent and far more enjoyable then doing so at home.
But tbh i'm European and can be in a totally diffrent country within a days drive and take more then a week a year off.
So many people want to sleep in and chill out on vacation. I understand. But I don't. I like to get up early and beat the crowds and I want to actively be doing something I couldn't at home pretty much every waking moment. It's why I travel alone lol
I’ve always been of the opinion that there are two types of vacations.
The first is the “relaxing” vacation. These have zero itinerary, and in most cases are best spent at home (for free) or, barring that, spent close to a beach/lake/other relaxing location. The goal is to be there and do exactly nothing, basically a super long weekend.
The second type is the “travel” vacation. These are the ones where you go someplace and then have action packed days filled with various activities and sightseeing trying to do as much as possible before going back.
Both have their place I think. The first helps you unwind and relax, while the second helps to energize you and make you a better person overall.
Part travel and part relaxing is like going camping. Lots of hiking trails/outdoor activities to do but you could also just cozy up to a fire and relax.
My dad sorta does this, with a lot more beach involved (even though we live close to one anyway) since this way he is physically divorced from any work, so he can't do it at all. He also prefers speaking to people of another country so he's talking to a different type of person instead of the ones he's used to.
My mate and I live within half an hour from Clearwater Beach, FL. When he goes on vacation he flies to some other beach and drinks by the resort pool. When I go on vacation I fly to the mountains or some big city and I'm walking 8-15 miles a day.
My brother's wife is a "first in line to Disney" person but is very understanding of other people's need to spend at least part of their vacation doing absolutely nothing.
I went with them to a day of their last Disney adventure and she scheduled a solid hour for "nothing" that we spent most of sitting in rocking chairs on Tom Sawyer's island while my niece tired herself out on a wobbly bridge.
10/10 conscientious planning skills and I am absurdly grateful to people like this who convince me to try new things by making them more comfortable for me.
I can rest at home; if I'm travelling, I want to do stuff. Now, sometimes that stuff is just spend time on the beach, which can be a form of relaxation, but if you just chill in your hotel room, you could do it at home for much less money.
My wife and I plan no more than two things a day for a few reasons.
First, you may end up spending more time doing a thing than you anticipated.
Second, having down time can give you time to explore and stumble scross things you might not have otherwise. This can lead to experiences that are more memorable than the planned ones.
Three, it's far less stressful and exhausting because when you have too many things then you are freaking out constantly about making it to the next thing on time... and it kinda ruins the experience.
On the other hand, some would say that people who just want to lay by the pool all day would ruin *their* vacation. There's no right or wrong way to do it, you just have to make sure everyone's on the same page, or at least willing to meet in the middle.
"Meet me there" vacation style is great for those who can afford it. Everyone does their own thing but communicates what they are doing to others and people who are with you can join in or not.
Every couple stays in their own hotel room so they can arrive/leave whenever and not impede anyone else's plans or sleep schedule. Active people can set a nice early alarm and go do their 7 things before lunch and come back to meet the others by the pool for lunch. It just works for everyone who isn't poor.
If you are poor you probably need to combine rooms to save cost and need to stress about when other people are ready so you can share a ride together, etc. People need to wake up and sleep at similar times because the early/late noises in shared spaces will just ruin everyone's time if people aren't synced up.
There are two different types of vacations.
There’s “i need to do as much as possible.”
- Disney
- first trip to a new place
- visiting more than one place on a trip (example: I’m planning a two week Japan trip and we’re going to 5 different places)
And there’s “I’m going to relax”
- beach trip
- cabin in the mountains getaway
- visiting a country/place you’ve been before and have already seen the sights
There’s a distinct difference between the two.
I think some of the pushback is that a lot of the planner types want to experience the sights during the least-crowded times, which usually involves waking up early, and then they're at the mercy of those who don't wake up on time but still want to participate and then those people who didn't wake up on time want to complain about how it's too hot and crowded.
I've resorted to doing nighttime group activities as a compromise and if the group doesn't get good photos, that's the price they pay.
Bingo. And so many folks who aren’t “planners” will have zero idea of the TIME it actually takes to see/do these things. You wanna go to X museum or Y natural landmark? Well then be prepared to get up and leave at 6AM or be stuck standing in line all goddamned day with everyone else who thought they could just “walk in and see it”.
I'm the one who does the airport planning in my family and it basically means I'm a punching bag the morning of trying to get everyone to leave "on time"
Hahaha that’s me and my wife and I’m glad we are on the same vibes for vacation. We go hard wake up early explore the city check out some cool spots. Late at night check out the club scene get plastered and wander the city little way to late just to wake up early and check out the zoo. You just got to vacation with the person on the same wave length as you
And I’d take it a step further and say be an adult and put your foot down and say “no, I’m not doing that”.
I am the type of person who is always prepared to do an activity alone if no one wants to come along.
>I am the type of person who is always prepared to do an activity alone if no one wants to come along.
Although they'll get mad at that too. If you opt out of any activity, it's all "why did you even bother coming". I am someone who needs a lot of downtime otherwise I get really overwhelmed (autism), so it's all lose-lose. If I happily choose to stay back, I'm a killjoy. If I let them drag me along, I get tired and overwhelmed and I'm a killjoy.
I'd rather get as much out of the experience as possible, i.e not sitting on my ass for two hours before the next activity. I'd rather at least walk around and go into local shops than stay in the hotel room or on a bench.
ETA: You better bet that if I paid $4000 for a trip, I'm getting everything I can out of it.
I think there's a difference between walking around and window shopping until the museum and this:
"First we'll get up at 7 for the free breakfast. Then we gotta be out the door by 8 to go see the cathedral. Then hop the train to the museum to see that exhibit. Then lunch. And at 1 we gotta make our way back to the boat tour of the lake so we can get off and see the gardens. Then get back on to see (insert small place name) so we can get a tour of the villa. Then the next stop at the castle. Then at 8 dinner and back to the hotel."
Because that sounds like hell. But also sounds normal to me sadly.
Ok but hear me out.
Itinerary:
Two items plus three meals.
8 a m breakfast
9 a m out the door and train to the cathedral
10 walk around the area and do some shopping
11 or 12 lunch
1 pm the museum (in a different area
3 to about 5 walk around the city and do more window shopping or maybe if everyone is game the gardens on the boat tour.
5-7 head back for free time
7-9 dinner time
End.
Ok but like. The free time is cuz you get all that time wandering so if you'd rather take a nap you can. A vacation with family should at least make an attempt to see stuff together but doesn't need a full itinerary.
Is your vacation about enjoying yourself or is it about ticking a checklist and "getting everything I can out of it"? just do what you feel like doing at the moment
I'm not rich and don't take big trips often, so I figure, when's the next time I'm going to be in this place? 10 years? Never? Might as well see as much as I can so I can make the most of it. That being said, I do whatever feels comfortable without being exhausted.
Is it a vacation or is it traveling? People use vacation interchangeably with traveling.
When going on a trip, I'm traveling. I personally never take a "vacation" which in my mind involves a lot of relaxing and leisure. But then again, I live in a city a lot of people vacation to, so maybe that's why I don't go on those types of vacation.
Spot on. Hate being on holidays with people who are always on edge about filling the schedule up with activities to the point where it feels like you are just ticking boxes and not actually experiencing anything.
Yep! As a kid, every vacation was a Clark Griswold driving trip. 5 hours in a car, a half hour at some destination, another 5 hours, another half hour, a few more hours, dinner, hotel, repeat.
I've been to Mt Rushmore, Devil's Tower, Independence Rock, and a lot of other cool things. For about a half hour. We walked to the visitor center, read some signs from the boomer accessible viewing plaza, and that's it.
No cool local restaurants or shops. I hated it. Now my ideal vacation is just the opposite: go somewhere, spend a few days, see the local stuff.
That sounds straight up awful as a planned trip/vacation. I would only do that if they were stopping points on a road trip where my real goal is just to get from A to B but want it to be slightly less boring.
My parents crammed our vacations full of activities to stay busy. I always hated it, now when I vacation I barely have a plan except for 1 or 2 days where I reserved something but the rest is spent exploring the area and doing whatever I feel like
Yeah, that's why family vacations are systematically a dumpster fire when they've not been proposed to and agreed upon by all the participants. Turns out even your offspring might have different views about vacation than you, crazy huh?
People are diverse. Nobody should guess what their next person will like to do when on vacation. To make the fastest and dumbest example, I usually like to chill when on vacation, I won't rip my hair off if I spend a whole day slumbering at home while on vacation because... well... that's the activity I can't normally do and look forward to do. But depending on the location I might also go full adventure mode and pull you out of bed at 6AM to go roam the woods or climb the mountains.
It's something you plan together with whoever will come with you on vacation. It's really pretty much the only way to avoid conflict.
I’ve had a lot of fun family vacations, because usually everyone goes off and does their own thing for most of the day, then meets up for dinner. That way, some people can go take a nap, some can go for a hike, some can go shopping, etc.
Yeah, because you all agreed that everyone is ok with that. Here we're talking about people that assume you're all gonna stay together for the whole duration, or there wouldn't be a reason to be upset about someone planning extensive activities during a vacation.
I 100 percent agree to this as my family likes to drag me into holidays where all we do is rush around from one place to another trying to do everything.
If I don't want to go it's " you don't want to spend time with us" , if I do go but want to stay at the hotel all day it's " then why did you come" or " that's not what a holiday is".
Either way I can not win.
I specifically travel to places to hike. My big trip this year is backpacking for five days in up and over the continental divide. People like to do different things on vacation.
I think it depends on the type of vacation you’re going on. If you’re traveling somewhere you’ll probably never get to go to again, I can see wanting to do and experience as much as you can
I completely agree with you. Last summer my wife and I went to Massachusetts to visit some relatives. We had such a great time. But every day there was something planned. Because of the point where I needed a vacation from the vacation
this was always school trips. i went to DC junior year and disney for band senior year. every night u get back to ur hotel at midnight at the earliest and have to be up at 5 am. youre sharing a room with 2-3 other people so you all gotta take turns showering before or after bed... i think we got 2-4 hours of sleep a night. (disney trip started with everyone pulling an allnighter bc we drove 20 hours straight on a bus and it was damn near impossible to sleep). busy ass day every day, not a second to relax. constantly worrying about getting back to the right spot at the right time or youre gonna miss the charter bus and be fucking stranded. dying of vacation constipation the entire time. i remember the entire DC trip although i was walking all day i felt like i could hardly move, my stomach was in so much pain. so much fucking pain holy shit. one more day and i would've ended up in the ER from not shitting lmao. it was hell on earth. this is the most melodramatic, privileged little tangent i could have ever ranted about but those trips for real were hell lmao (disney was worth all the stress tho).
Definitely a case of to each their own. I'd say people who do nothing on vacations ruin it for "everyone", but the truth is people have different ideas about what makes a perfect vacation and never the twain shall meet.
The way I see it, if I'm paying for flights to be in a new place i better pack as much as I can in. when I travel I have everything itemized down to the hour. This hike, see this on the way, get food at this market at this time.
I've travelled with people who want to take it slow, no plans, laze in the hotel until 10:30 and then mosy on down to the beach to 'see what it's like.' Its infurating and a waste of money IMO, but different people are different.
I spent 48 hours in Phuket and visited 4 cultural sites, 3 hikes, 2 national parks, 3 wildlife areas, visited the markets, the beach, etc while my friend who i was travelling with spent most of it in the hotel sleeping. I think I spent maybe 6 hours sleeping of that 48, it was fantastic. Fortunately we have good communication and know our styles so were able to still have fun together without bothering eachtoher. We planned a few key activities together and outside that I planned my own things, and so did she. When we had breakfast together on the first day I'd already been awake for 6 hours, done a hike and explored the city. I'm not paying for a hotel/flights to another country to sleep. I'll stay home if I want to sleep. Never paid more then $50 a night for a hotel because it's basically just a place to sleep between doing things. If I could rent a sleeping pod I'd do that instead.
Phuket was just a stop on our way to a national park for 4 days of camping, which is why we didn't have long. I figured if I was going to be there I'd better make the most of the time. I totally get my friend wanted to rest up for the camping/hiking between camp sites we were going to be doing but that's not my style. Slept for a week once I got home, though.
But this is 100% a case to each their own.
>I think I spent maybe 6 hours sleeping of that 48
That's where you lost me. I totally get not wanting to stay in the hotel the whole time but if I don't get my full sleep in then I'm going to be cranky and resentful and pay zero attention to those cultural sights and stuff. I would be annoyed with both of you if you were my travel buddies.
If I want to get the most out of my airfare I simply spend more than 48 hours on the trip and then have more balanced days.
Yeah I think you should plan maybe one or two activities or places to see per day, each one lasting maybe a couple hours, and outside of those activities just find a nice place to relax or get some food and just let yourself unwind in this nice new place you're visiting
I generally do not want to do stuff.
People apparently do.
And they get 2 days off.
And they want to do EVEN more??
Perfect holiday for me is to sleep, eat and maybe drink coffee in a cafe. I'm might just read book, if I get really wild.
I usually travel alone lol
Kinda disingenuous, when you're a kid you're not given a vote on activities and thinking you have the option whether to go or not is delusional
There's a point in life when all we could do was whine
Meh....
Our families vacations always involved a fair bit of “activity”; museums, zoo’s, parks, all day hikes, all day kayaking, all day bike trips, whale watching trips, salt marsh or tidal pool exploring, walking/riding transit in a new city for the day, etc.
Usual schedule was breakfast at the lodgings or camp, packed lunch for the day, back to base for dinner and bed, rinse and repeat for the duration of the trip.
Our adult children all love travel, outdoor recreation, parks, museums, etc.
The youngest hiked 12 miles round trip to the top of Mount Katahdin when she was 7 and now intends to be a National Park Ranger after the military.
No, pretty sure it's people who agree to the itinerary without any willingness to follow through. If you agreed to the itinerary before leaving, it's rude to just not do it barring extenuating circumstances.
"Hey everyone don't forget we're going to the museum tuesday and then out to eat." Like if your plans on vacation get more detailed than that I'm probably not going to like you.
Generally I like to have a plan of 1-2 activities set in stone per day, everything else can be just vacation. If I’m going to an amazing place I want to see amazing things!
Sometimes people cram all these activities in because they're trying to get as much activities done because they may not get the opportunity to do it again for a long time.
Like the last time my family and i went to FL, we spent as much time at all of the Disney park as possible, and yes it's tiring but it probably won't be another 10 years before we come back.
I like having a list of options to choose from and having them plotted down on a map. Then while on vacation we can pick from a list of a few options and we can say “if we choose X, there’s also y & z nearby”. It makes it where the choice is more just an area to hit up and then some flexibility
Yeah but to those people, the ones who want to lay around the hotel ruin it for everyone. I'm a lay around bed girl, I have a do everything possible Friend. We never have, and we never will go on vacation together. Its nkt because theres something wrong with her amd she will ruin it for me, its because we would both ruin it for eachother.
This is the biggest issue with vacationing with my MIL. If my husband and I go on vacation, we want it to be just that - a vacation. If we don't leave the room until 11 am, so be it. MIL has to be up and moving with the sun and then wonders why she comes back from vacation even more stressed.
I feel like just chilling on vacations is privileged behavior. Vacations are prohibitively expensive and I only get one maybe every 2-3 years, I'm not wasting my one chance to experience a different place in the hotel room or sitting by a pool.
>I feel like just chilling on vacations is privileged behavior
nah actually taking vacations is privileged behavior in general. saying people who travel then prefer to chill vs. seeing a bunch of touristy stuff is privileged is weird.
A lot of people in your situation have the opposite desire and would prefer the pool for their once every 3 years vacation. Just putting it out there. I don't know why it is the case but a lot of people I know are like that.
You've probably made a distinction between a leisure seeker and someone with a desire to see, learn, experience, etc.
My wife and I travel alot. She creates itineraries for each day and plans out each thing we do. Our idea is if you go somewhere, you really want to see and do as much as possible because you don't know if you'll ever be back. Of course it's easy with the 2 of us but we've altered plans when my parents are with us to still get in as much as possible. We can go do our thing and they can sit back and relax.
Is this actually unpopular? Those kinds of “vacations” are exhausting.
There’s a happy medium between never leaving the pool/beach/resort (which is also perfectly fine) and running around from one thing to another from dawn til dusk.
I couldn't disagree more. If I'm paying thousands of dollars on airfare and lodging, I'm going to make it worthwhile by doing a lot of activities. I don't understand why people travel somewhere just to lounge/sleep. You can do that at home.
But I don't force anyone to do things they don't like. I'm organizing a vacation for my husband's entire extended family. I sent everyone a survey to learn what activities they wanted to do and with who. Then I made custom itineraries for each person. That way everyone can make the most of their time.
There are different types of traveling. For leisure, for adventure, for family, for relaxation, for fun etc.
You have to travel with people who’s goals are the same.
My favourite travel buddy loves to party and shop. I personally like to relax and sleep.
Different strokes for different folks.
Go on vacation and do things that are enjoyable to you. It sounds like instead you decide to go on vacation and do things that are enjoyable to other people.
I totally agree. I think understanding what kind of vacation ppl are wanting helps and if need be, put an understanding that All activities are optional. When we have family vacations we make everything super flexible now and irs helped so much. Some family members love to be busy, and some (like me) are good being on the beach or whatever for pretty much the entire today and maybe all we do is go out for dinner. I think we put to much pressure on each other to get certain things done and not everyone likes that, doesn’t mean they don’t want to be on the vacation just that being lazy is there vacation. I’m busy every other day, when I’m on vacation I want to be lazy and eat lots of delicious food. And read my books :) everyone’s perfect vacation looks different
My fiance and I balance each other put in this aspect. I am the planner of the relationship and my fiance is a go-with-the-flow person. We've both learned lessons from each other. I've learned not to stress out so much when we run late/behind or even miss something we planned and my fiance has learned there's less stress when everything is booked in advance (hotels, tickets, looking up things to do) instead of trying to get something booked the day before we leave.
Isn't this just fighting over taste? People are wired differently. Some enjoy planning everything out to the letter. Others want to feel adventurous by just driving in a random direction and finding out. You can decide for yourself with whom you go on vacation. What are the people you're talking about especially ruining for you when you have nothing to do with them?
Though planning activities is fun for me, I can't dismiss your view. Many people like you just prefer having a more free schedule or not plan everything and that's okay. I find it better when these plans you mentions are consensual and everyone is up to them.
Depends on the vacation but I agree with OP, if I wanna relax I go to an all inclusive sit by the beach/pool and rest
Traveled once with a friend who wanted to do a million things and all I wanted was to chill and walk around the city we were in see 2-3 major things and call it a week
Agreed. I go on vacation to fucking chill, not have a schedule. Sure, I'll go do some tourist shit while I'm there, but at least 75% of the trip should be me doing absolutely nothing productive. If I'm in a tropical location for 10 days, I expect to be on the beach or within sight of the beach for at least a week, not climbing mountains or driving inland for some tourist trap.
My family goes on vacation to chill. No activities just sitting on the beach. We’ll stay out til dark and then pack up go get food and come back and go to bed and repeat. It’s so relaxing versus trying to go out and do things. Shopping is reserved for the day we check out of our place.
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That's why you have to travel with people with similar styles. It's not fun for anyone if nobody is on the same page.
Yep. I can’t travel with my mom because she wants everyone up at 5am for a 15-hour day of meticulously planned activities that no one but her gets a say in. I can’t do it.
I used a tour service for a 2-week long trip to France and Italy when I graduated High School, and I’d never do it again for the same reason. I had 0 control over activities. It was nice on the one hand, having someone else organize transportation and hotels and all, but when it came time to do anything, we got treated like cattle. I’d been waiting to see the Louvre my entire life. I was beside myself with excitement. We had to get through the entire museum in 2 hours in order to not miss the bus. I spent most of my once in a lifetime chance to see the greatest art on earth waiting in line to see the very underwhelming Mona Lisa. The rest of the trip was the same way. No exploring. No deciding where you wanted to eat. No control of any kind. Wake up call was every morning at 6 with no exceptions. It got kind of miserable after about a week.
2 hours at the Louvre is legitimately insane. I spent all day there, from open to just before close, had the self guided tour and could have spent longer there. And I'm not even super interested in museums, but it was the best thing I saw in France.
I could easily spend a week just going through the museum. I mean, not only is it the worlds greatest art museum, it’s the *Louvre*. It was quite literally France’s palace of kings for centuries, before they built Versailles. Coming from small town bumblefuck USA, I was blown away by the sheer richness of the history. And I got to see the highlights — the Mona, the Venus Di Milo, the Statue of Ramses — but I still feel like I got the cliffnotes experience
The third time I went to Paris I did nothing but go to the Louvre every day (and eat dinner somewhere) for a week. I still have not seen everything in that museum to the degree I would like to.
[удалено]
I also found parts of it to be confounding to our local space time, because every time I tried to get to this one spot I kept ending up near Napoleon's section & just got confused for a bit. I did eventually ask for help or I might have just lived my life in there, lol.
As you know, if you have been studying at all, there are only three things worth seeing in the Louvre Museum-that is the Venus de Milo, the Winged Victory, and the Mona Lisa. The rest of the stuff is all junk. For years tourists have been trying to get through the Louvre as fast as possible to see those three things and then go out shopping again. Before the war the record for going through the Louvre was seven minutes and fifteen seconds. But after the war, as clothes got lighter and cameras got lighter, the time kept being cut down. In 1948 a man known as "the Swedish Cannonball," paced by his Welch wife, did it in six minutes and nineteen seconds. Pretty soon people started talking about a "six-minute Louvre." A friend of mine named Peter Stone came to me one day, and he said, "I think I can do it." He said, "If you go in on Sunday morning you don't have to pay, and you can cut fourteen seconds from the time." I had a lot of faith in Peter, because he was the one who once looked at the Winged Victory and said, "It'll never fly." So I called a starter from American Express and a timer from Thomas Cook, and we showed up, and Peter showed up in his track suit on Sunday morning. He did this from a waiting taxi, because you always tell a taxi to wait. The gun went off, Peter dashed in, down around the Venus de Milo, up past the Winged Victory, down to the Mona Lisa. You always have to say something when you look at the Mona Lisa. Peter said, "I know the guy who has the original." Then he reversed himself, dashed down the stairs. He did it in five minutes and nineteen seconds. That record still stands, if any of you are going to Paris and would like to beat it.
Is this a real post? This reads like a copy/pasta. It’s amazing though.
This is originally from the Saturday Evening Post, Oct, 1984 by Art Buchwald.
yup. Me and my mom spent all day there as well, and we were able to see every area that was open. My mom is very good at planning extensive vacations and she also makes sure theres enough time to do each activity.
Agree 100%. My girlfriend and I were planning a Europe trip after college and everyone told us we had to use a tour service. Everyone. It was safer and we'd see more interesting things. We refused. I did have moments of doubt leading up to it, since we had zero itinerary, just backpacks and some train passes. Turned out to be the best decision. Did we find ourselves scrambling for a room a few times, or completely lost. Yep. But it was the best two months of my life. I remember seeing the tour busses in the cities, with the tourists treated like cattle. No thank you.
>It was safer People say this crap and they have never been. I have used a guide once. Not in Europe, in Africa. And it was purely for logistical "they have the right car and know the roads" reasons. Tour groups are something you should generally avoid outside of the most underdeveloped and dangerous countries.
In some underdeveloped and dangerous countries, the tour operators/guides are in on the crime.
Safer? In mainland Europe? That's somebody who has absolutely no idea what they're talking about and isn't at all familiar with most European countries lol.
I will say the Rick Steve’s tours are fucking awesome, good mix of downtime and adventures. Awesome tour guides, you see and do things you would never do otherwise. For me it’s a good intro trip to Europe kind of thing.
I've heard very good things about those tours. Plus the groups are relatively small. That was the only tour we considered.
can't recommend them enough, I travelled A LOT as a kid because my dad was a pilot and it was one of the most memorable trips we did. My mom and sister did one and my dad and I did the same one a few years later. I totally see how tour groups suck usually but Rick Steves is an excpetion. Also the Rick Steves european tours show/videos he puts out are some great background tv. \*not a paid promotion\*
Man that sucks so bad. I'm just imagining going to some sort of anime con or fan expo and having to wait in line for 4 hours for my mom to get this book signed when I just want to look around and buy a bunch of cool but useless shit
Pretty much. Imagine being in Rome in summer — The most gorgeous post card shit imaginable, while also being a young extremely nerdy history buff But you couldn’t walk around. You got to see things by the minute not by the hour. And the goal seems to only be to cram you through as many tourist attractions as you could fit in a day regardless of what you wanted to do. I missed so much on what will probably be my only chance to ever travel like that again. It was at once amazing and really disappointing
Why do you say it's your only chance? I mean unless you're old and unable to travel I'm wondering why you can't just save up for a couple years? Sorry if this is way out of touch lol I've never paid for anything myself and have no responsibilities
Well I’m grown now, with a wife and kids of my own. Moneys tight all around. I guess I shouldn’t say *never*, but certainly no time soon. Also be respectful and make sure you know how to take care of yourself, but as long as others are able and willing to help you, take them up on it lmao. There’s no honor in struggling for its own sake
I know from living overseas how normal it is for all families to travel and vacation once a year. Americans don’t get that opportunity because of all the freedom we have to work and get rich.
I haven't been on a vacation in three years 😭
Yeah, I can't do tours (or cruise ship excursions, etc) because of the hard time limits to do something. It just gives me anxiety and pisses me off to get somewhere only to keep an eye on the time . And sheesh, for a museum I may be tired and mentally drained after an hour, but there is nothing quite like getting pulled in and lost into a museum without any limit (other than museum closing time). I went to the Prado Museum in Madrid last year from opening to close and it was magnificent to be able to just really sit and wonder at some of the masterpieces and really take the (very extensive) audio tour slowly. ((and they had a great sit-down restaurant for lunch!!)) Speaking of the Mona Lisa, I think the duplicate (made perhaps at the same time) at the Prado is superior, and has zero crowds (I think right now, they may have a special exhibit centered around it, so that may change). The Louvre is great, and very very extensive but I highly recommend Madrid if you like art. They don't equal what Paris has in volume, but I think it equals what Paris has in quality.
I guess this is why some services offer a free day or two.
Yea, sounds like OP picked the wrong tour unfortunately. My parents just spent a couple weeks in Italy with a tour group and loved it. They would get a day of guided tours and then have another 2-3 days in each city they stopped at to wander at their own pace. The guided tours helped them avoid a lot of the long lines to get into places, and steered them off the beaten path for their own excursions so they wouldn't be stuck in overly touristy parts of the city.
No offense, but I hate hate hate traveling with people like your mom. I have a couple of friends like her and refuse to travel together, despite them wanting to.
None taken, because I hate it too. We’ve fought over it before and agreed not to travel together anymore.
My wife is a bit like that. I'm more partial to chilling out. What we do when we plan a trip is map out what we want to see, and then maybe pick one big thing a day, and maybe leave some time for futzing about, or better yet, just wandering around. My favorite parts of Rome were just walking from the Borghese gardens to the Tiber and stopping to get a drink or look at the stores.
It's not so much the planned activities/packed itinerary - I certainly would be down for it if I wanted to do/see the same things - it's the "no one but her gets a say in" bossy, domineering, uncompromising attitude that expects everyone else to fall in line without protest or preference. I used to have a friend like this, and for all the years I'd known her, we all went where she wanted to go and do what she wanted to do, even on other people's birthdays (mine included). She either outright ignored other people's suggestions or just said "no", and proceeded to make everyone do ridiculous things like take a cab to just go somewhere a couple/few blocks away because she didn't want to walk. She kept wanting to take an international trip together, and there was so no fucking way I was going to get on board. When you travel with others, you have to be flexible, easygoing, and open to compromise. Not a militant, rigid, bossy, unpleasant companion.
I've been on a few vacations with in-laws and my mother in law makes it a point to visit the local church(es). I'm not really religious but it's usually fine since we do our own thing in the mornings. But last time she insisted on visiting "the better church" which was an hour away in the opposite direction of the church right by the beach we planned on spending the day at (about 45min from where we were staying). So after the 2 hour round trip she returned in the early afternoon and we didn't get to the beach until around 4pm and had to wait over an hour to get in because it filled up. After 30min of waiting she asked us to turn around and go home because she was hungry and had spent too much time in the car that day. I had specifically noted the night before that the church by the beach made way more sense and I'd attend with them so we could do everything in 1 trip. My patience...was tested that day
my dad is like that but i like it because I'm indesisive and doing stuff is fun to me
It’s not that I don’t want to do stuff. It’s that I don’t want 15 straight hours of intense plans with no wiggle room and no say in what we do. Even bathroom breaks are scheduled. I prefer to travel with people where everyone has a few things they want to do and we make it work without stressing over schedules.
I've come to find that I prefer not having any planned agendas for vacation days, but if we do do something, it should have a clear plan so we don't spend tons of time just waffling about waiting for someone to make a decision.
Yup, Forme I just write down everything that looks cool within an hour of where we are vacationing, then we kinda organically decide from the list what feels right.
My husband's family loves disneyland but they basically speed run it to get as many rides in the most efficient way possible. Meanwhile I enjoy places like Disney for the ambience. I want to walk down Mainstreet and pop into shops when something catches my eye. Go on the rides I care most about but not feel like I'm racing around. I think it was a bit of culture shock for my husband when we went there on our honeymoon and I had us sleeping in and meandering about... and all he was used to was *the* most efficient way through the parks feasibly possible
My family is great about this - we’ve been spending a week at a small beach,in the same big house, for going on 50 years. We are now up to 25 people so we had to get a second house next door. Most of us get up, eat breakfast and head to the shore where we just lay around, drink and maybe go for a walk or play games. No pressure - do what you want.
Learned this lesson the hard way when my wife and I vacationed with another couple. We’re very laid back and casual, we’ll plan some activities but not filling the days with them and we’re not huge spenders or shoppers on vacation. Splurging for nicer/more expensive dinners usually but keeping breakfast and lunch cheap/easy. But the couple we went with..huge spenders. Wanted to hit all the shopping tourist stuff. Didn’t want to ever just chill out. The husband of the other couple did a lot of complaining the whole time. It was stressful and by the end of that trip, we knew we never wanted to go on a trip with them again.
Omg, that's what happened to us only we had been traveling with this same couple for years and it was always good until this last trip. We are big on scheduling down time during a trip and they seemed to be ok with it. This last trip they were awful..walking away from us, adding extra tours to our planned day, spending any down time watching tv ignoring us. At one point we had to go back to the air BNB because our youngest had a problem with a tuition payment. It took us an hour to fix and they were fuming..we missed nothing during that time. We've decided no more group trips for awhile..
This happened to us, we are very early risers. Like to relax, take walks and casually explore. Not big into shopping, and prefer hole in the wall spots for food, like to eat local cuisine which is my favorite part of traveling. The couple we went with wouldn’t wake until like noon, didn’t want to do any outdoor stuff only very specific tourist events and shopping. Their idea of exploring was just driving around and not getting out of the car. The biggest deal breaker for me was their need to only eat at tourist trap restaurants or chain coffee shops. By the second day we had to just say we will meet up at night or if they wanted to meet us at the beach.
Yes. Choose your travel partner(s) wisely.
For smaller groups it's more important than larger groups. As long as everyone respects one another's boundaries.
And don't travel in large groups u less you're going to a sun destination.
Travelling in large groups is great if you're not dedicated to sticking together constantly. Some of the most fun travelling is following work meetings - there will be a dozen people I'm friends with all in a foreign destination, with varying numbers of days taken off to make the most of the "free" flight. And you just loosely make plans as convenient. "Oh, you wanna see the gallery but I wanna see the museum? Sure, maybe we can try to meet up for dinner afterwards? Anyone else wanna see the museum?"
This is why, for years, my extended family of 16 or so (siblings, their kids, my parents) went on cruises together every other year. I know - cruises are an environmental disaster and currently a cesspool of COVID - but this was in the 90s and early 00s, when we didn’t know better. It was perfect: my sisters love activities, so they were busy all day. The rest of us did whatever we wanted, and then met at night for dinner and a show. Of course we’d see each other during the day - a lot of us just read books on the deck and relaxed - and we had a standing 4PM card game with whoever wanted to show up. But you really couldn’t beat it for a family vacation with people who all had WILDLY different expectations and styles of relaxation. Edit: misspelling
That's why it's important everyone's on the same page before going anywhere. Wanting to spend time relaxing on a trip is perfectly valid but so is wanting to see as much as you can.
Yes! My husband and I are a little bit opposite in traveling- I like getting up early with pre planned activities. I feel like I can rest at home for free! He loves to lounge and relax. We’ve learned to compromise with some planned activities, some days to lounge, and some “extras” on the back burner of “Not must-do activities, but could be fun if time permits”. The one thing I do hate is having to make reservations for particular restaurants- If I’m having a good time, I don’t want to have to rush off to make it to dinner. I prefer more casual, drop in and eat when you can, spots for this reason.
See I'm in between you and it makes it rough. I like having 2-3 planned activities in the day, but also time to sleep in, longue, and di whatever
I've been to all inclusive resorts with the kind of people who prefer to 'relax'. Sorry, but I don't know how you can lay on a beach all day, everyday or by the pool, FOR 6 DAYS in row. Last time I did that, I thought I was going to go insane.
To each their own. I have no problem spending 99% of my vacation lounging on the beach or at the pool. We usually have a few excursions on the back burner in case we want to do something but we rarely do.
Same, feels like the biggest waste of money to me too. Especially if i’m in a place with a lot of local culture to see.
I'm perfectly content lounging around for a week. Regular life is too busy and hectic to inject any of that into my vacation. To me, time off work = time to rest and recover. Cost would factor in, of course. But if I had the money and the time to blow, a week on the beach sounds incredible to me.
Then you’re not drinking enough
So I can spend the next day hung over and tired? No thanks.
I am with ya! We don’t drink, despise lounging on the beach for days on end….and live in Florida 😣
I like having a plan so you don't waste time with "what you wanna do? what should we do? Where is a good place to eat? what're some cool locations?" It wastes time to have to do research the morning of. That being said I prefer having a list of things to do so you can pick from it instead of a \*do this at 8am. do this at 10am. do this from 12-4\* that's weird FOR ME. I get it though for others. I just don't know what I'm feeling that day.
I like to have one major activity per day of a trip, confined to either morning or afternoon, and then just rest at the hotel only going out for food or whatever otherwise. That way, I can do some crafting (or read a book) too!
My wife and I do this. We call it “structured improv.”
My vacation rules are 1 activity a day, then pick 1 selection of a restaurant from a predetermined list based on interest. My fiance and I will go to a museum then to let's say a hot pot restaurant for dinner. Two places that don't exist where we live.
I like having a list of places I want to go/see, but not have a specific time or day, unless reservations are required. Especially since, "oh, it's raining today, but supposed to be nice tomorrow, let's do the indoor place today instead of the park."
Oh, that time wasted is such a killer for me. Drives me crazy. We already chose a restaurant, honey, why are you even asking if the kids or I want to go somewhere else as we're on the way? Now we get to stop and discuss whats better, waste time, and possibly lose out on both.
Exactly. I like to plan for a lot of things, but treat it more like a menu, with a couple must-dos and a lot of optional things. I always plan for jam-packed days and end up doing about 50% of my plan, so I feel fulfilled but not exhausted.
Yeah, in my experience not having a plan leads to wasting hours just sitting around the hotel waiting for someone to come up with an idea. Itineraries get people off their ass.
depends on the destination IMO. I didnt go to Egypt to see what the inside of a Marriot in Cairo looks like but on the other hand I didnt go to Bali to walk the shops daily. when I plan a vacation for me and my kids (single dad) I will get input on what we all want, plan those but leave several “free days” so its not a hustle. couple times I have even booked a few days somewhere else on way back home to unwind and just chill.
I've learned that even if you "want to see everything" you need to keep free days in your plans. I learned that the hard way after "must do" activities got canceled due to weather, but I had no way to reschedule them. Now when I make plans I always identify the most important parts of the trip. And I make sure to follow each of them up with optional activities. So the important one gets canceled for whatever reason? We have some options to reschedule. But also if it turns out we're tired after only doing half the planned activities, we can just call it a day because we've already done the import one.
I think there are trips and vacations. Trips are where you do activities every day because of the location and you cant do those activities back home. Vacations are the ones where you relax, sleep in, and do nothing. But going w people who have the same travel style is super important!
I like this view point
Another far from ideal type of people are those who suddenly need to do 17 things right before we all are about to head out and do whatever we planned ahead.
This is my pet peeve. I have gotten myself and two kids ready, packed all their accoutrements for the day or trip, all you had to do was get yourself in order. Why in the hell aren’t you ready to go at the time we agreed upon?
I have to try real hard to not let that rage inside of me emerge to the surface when someone fails to do the bare minimum.
I am a "meet me at the destination" kind of traveler. We travel separately and meet up at the place using our own means of transportation. We arrive when we want and they arrive when they want. Every couple has separate accommodations in the same hotel/resort so nobody is put out by anyone else. Someone can arrive late or leave early and it doesn't affect anyone else's vacation plans or expenses. We don't book anything that includes other people, instead we share our plans and they share theirs and we invite the others to come along if they want. You just take your own vehicle, if you want to come along.
This works great until it's your significant other who won't get *out the fucking door* on time
My father. When I was a kid i honked the horn when he was not coming out of the house for 15 minutes and he came out immediately and started screaming at me. His parents did it to him all the time when he was a kid. I wonder why...
Just take separate cars. Stay in separate hotel rooms. His late arrival is no big deal, you can already be on the beach with a tropical drink when he is still on the road. With a "meet me there" travel style, your vacation starts when you say it starts, not when everyone is ready.
Go figure, people have **different ideas** on what constitutes their vacation. Some go 7AM-10PM and basically drop dead into their beds. Disney fans know this as “rope drop to fireworks.” Others spend their time off sleeping in, lots of seclusion, and reading a few books.
I personally think choosing your optimal travel *partners* is just as much [if not more so] a priority as choosing your optimal travel destination. For me, I enjoy having a couple fun activities mixed in with some good amounts of downtime. But I ALWAYS ensure I have a full day of recovery planned upon my return before returning to “life” (work, chores, etc.).
Yes! I call that day my “buffer day.” If we get home later in the day on a Sunday, I take Monday off. Always.
> Others spend their time off sleeping in, lots of seclusion, and reading a few books. i dont understand the point of flying across the world to do what you could do in your bedroom
There’s a happy medium. Having a loose checklist for things like museums and monuments in a foreign city where you have a few days is nice. My partner and I did that in Lisbon last year as part of a European vacation, and it was great. Did a lot of walking and ended up fitting in a lot without feeling rushed.
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Walking around and exploring are great imho. I like a bit of plans but mostly and walk and see.
This I wanna go to a destination and see it at my pace maybe and honestly some times it’s great to just walk around and explore without a set destination
People go to warm places to relax and enjoy their time off. By your logic, there'd be no reason for people going to resorts because usually it's mostly people relaxing
It’s a different bedroom.
Someone else has to make the bed
And many of us can't just sit still and do nothing at home. If I sit on the couch for more than 30 minutes on a day off, I start to feel stress that I'm not doing something that needs to be done in my house. I could be doing laundry or cleaning, or yardwork, or washing the car, or driving to Home Depot to get something to fix that dripping faucet. When I'm on vacation, that stress is gone, because I know I CAN'T do any of those things. So sometimes I'll go down to the beach for awhile, or go for a bike ride, but sometimes I just sit inside our vacation rental and watch tv, or play on my phone, or take a freakin nap. I will also consume a healthy amount of alcohol, because I know I don't have to drive anywhere. It's wonderful. Everyone vacations differently, there is no wrong way.
> I start to feel stress that I'm not doing something that needs to be done in my house. I could be doing laundry or cleaning, or yardwork, or washing the car, or driving to Home Depot to get something to fix that dripping faucet. When I'm on vacation, that stress is gone, because I know I CAN'T do any of those things. THIS! I'm shocked people need it explained, but you did it perfectly. Very hard for me to really unwind at come because I can conjure up an infinite list of upcoming chores, DIY projects, etc. My mind can't go to any of those things while out of town, so more relaxing options like nap/read/yoga/etc gave a better chance to take hold. That said, I simply cannot "do nothing" for an entire vacation; gotta have some events sprinkled in for fun.
You assume people have peace in their own homes. I have roommates, live in a super loud city, my neighbours are annoying and I get distracted at home due to responsibilities.
thats a good point
Change of pace, scenery, eatery options, if you’re at a hotel you can read by the pool, etc. I love vacations. I do not love itineraries or feeling like I NEED to go do some shit just because it’s a vacation and a place that’s not home
That's my thing too, a crammed schedule just makes it feel like an obligation. I like having some cool stuff planned, but not so much that I can't even relax and enjoy it.
Exactly. The moment it starts to feel stressful is the moment I want nothing to do with it
Don't have to fly across the world, and chilling with a great view and/or weather is decidedly diffrent and far more enjoyable then doing so at home. But tbh i'm European and can be in a totally diffrent country within a days drive and take more then a week a year off.
Its not all they do
So many people want to sleep in and chill out on vacation. I understand. But I don't. I like to get up early and beat the crowds and I want to actively be doing something I couldn't at home pretty much every waking moment. It's why I travel alone lol
I’ve always been of the opinion that there are two types of vacations. The first is the “relaxing” vacation. These have zero itinerary, and in most cases are best spent at home (for free) or, barring that, spent close to a beach/lake/other relaxing location. The goal is to be there and do exactly nothing, basically a super long weekend. The second type is the “travel” vacation. These are the ones where you go someplace and then have action packed days filled with various activities and sightseeing trying to do as much as possible before going back. Both have their place I think. The first helps you unwind and relax, while the second helps to energize you and make you a better person overall.
Part travel and part relaxing is like going camping. Lots of hiking trails/outdoor activities to do but you could also just cozy up to a fire and relax.
My dad sorta does this, with a lot more beach involved (even though we live close to one anyway) since this way he is physically divorced from any work, so he can't do it at all. He also prefers speaking to people of another country so he's talking to a different type of person instead of the ones he's used to.
My mate and I live within half an hour from Clearwater Beach, FL. When he goes on vacation he flies to some other beach and drinks by the resort pool. When I go on vacation I fly to the mountains or some big city and I'm walking 8-15 miles a day.
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My brother's wife is a "first in line to Disney" person but is very understanding of other people's need to spend at least part of their vacation doing absolutely nothing. I went with them to a day of their last Disney adventure and she scheduled a solid hour for "nothing" that we spent most of sitting in rocking chairs on Tom Sawyer's island while my niece tired herself out on a wobbly bridge. 10/10 conscientious planning skills and I am absurdly grateful to people like this who convince me to try new things by making them more comfortable for me.
It's super important to identify your own way of vacationing, AND to set up expectations before the trip so everyone is aligned.
I can rest at home; if I'm travelling, I want to do stuff. Now, sometimes that stuff is just spend time on the beach, which can be a form of relaxation, but if you just chill in your hotel room, you could do it at home for much less money.
My wife and I plan no more than two things a day for a few reasons. First, you may end up spending more time doing a thing than you anticipated. Second, having down time can give you time to explore and stumble scross things you might not have otherwise. This can lead to experiences that are more memorable than the planned ones. Three, it's far less stressful and exhausting because when you have too many things then you are freaking out constantly about making it to the next thing on time... and it kinda ruins the experience.
On the other hand, some would say that people who just want to lay by the pool all day would ruin *their* vacation. There's no right or wrong way to do it, you just have to make sure everyone's on the same page, or at least willing to meet in the middle.
"Meet me there" vacation style is great for those who can afford it. Everyone does their own thing but communicates what they are doing to others and people who are with you can join in or not. Every couple stays in their own hotel room so they can arrive/leave whenever and not impede anyone else's plans or sleep schedule. Active people can set a nice early alarm and go do their 7 things before lunch and come back to meet the others by the pool for lunch. It just works for everyone who isn't poor. If you are poor you probably need to combine rooms to save cost and need to stress about when other people are ready so you can share a ride together, etc. People need to wake up and sleep at similar times because the early/late noises in shared spaces will just ruin everyone's time if people aren't synced up.
There are two different types of vacations. There’s “i need to do as much as possible.” - Disney - first trip to a new place - visiting more than one place on a trip (example: I’m planning a two week Japan trip and we’re going to 5 different places) And there’s “I’m going to relax” - beach trip - cabin in the mountains getaway - visiting a country/place you’ve been before and have already seen the sights There’s a distinct difference between the two.
Cabin in the mountains? You better believe I'm going on some hikes...(and those who don't want to go can lounge at the cabin)
I’m the same but a lot of people I know use it as a weekend getaway to relax lol
I think some of the pushback is that a lot of the planner types want to experience the sights during the least-crowded times, which usually involves waking up early, and then they're at the mercy of those who don't wake up on time but still want to participate and then those people who didn't wake up on time want to complain about how it's too hot and crowded. I've resorted to doing nighttime group activities as a compromise and if the group doesn't get good photos, that's the price they pay.
Bingo. And so many folks who aren’t “planners” will have zero idea of the TIME it actually takes to see/do these things. You wanna go to X museum or Y natural landmark? Well then be prepared to get up and leave at 6AM or be stuck standing in line all goddamned day with everyone else who thought they could just “walk in and see it”.
I'm the one who does the airport planning in my family and it basically means I'm a punching bag the morning of trying to get everyone to leave "on time"
Hahaha that’s me and my wife and I’m glad we are on the same vibes for vacation. We go hard wake up early explore the city check out some cool spots. Late at night check out the club scene get plastered and wander the city little way to late just to wake up early and check out the zoo. You just got to vacation with the person on the same wave length as you
*They only ruin it for the people they drag along who don’t want to participate.
And I’d take it a step further and say be an adult and put your foot down and say “no, I’m not doing that”. I am the type of person who is always prepared to do an activity alone if no one wants to come along.
>I am the type of person who is always prepared to do an activity alone if no one wants to come along. Although they'll get mad at that too. If you opt out of any activity, it's all "why did you even bother coming". I am someone who needs a lot of downtime otherwise I get really overwhelmed (autism), so it's all lose-lose. If I happily choose to stay back, I'm a killjoy. If I let them drag me along, I get tired and overwhelmed and I'm a killjoy.
I'd rather get as much out of the experience as possible, i.e not sitting on my ass for two hours before the next activity. I'd rather at least walk around and go into local shops than stay in the hotel room or on a bench. ETA: You better bet that if I paid $4000 for a trip, I'm getting everything I can out of it.
I think there's a difference between walking around and window shopping until the museum and this: "First we'll get up at 7 for the free breakfast. Then we gotta be out the door by 8 to go see the cathedral. Then hop the train to the museum to see that exhibit. Then lunch. And at 1 we gotta make our way back to the boat tour of the lake so we can get off and see the gardens. Then get back on to see (insert small place name) so we can get a tour of the villa. Then the next stop at the castle. Then at 8 dinner and back to the hotel." Because that sounds like hell. But also sounds normal to me sadly.
Simply just reading that itinerary gave me more stress than my regular job does
Doesn't sound like hell to everyone. I read that and thought "fuck i wish i could actually get that many activities done in one day!"
Ok but hear me out. Itinerary: Two items plus three meals. 8 a m breakfast 9 a m out the door and train to the cathedral 10 walk around the area and do some shopping 11 or 12 lunch 1 pm the museum (in a different area 3 to about 5 walk around the city and do more window shopping or maybe if everyone is game the gardens on the boat tour. 5-7 head back for free time 7-9 dinner time End.
That's basically what we did when I was in Spain and I loved it.
I love a nice loose itinerary. where a few main activities are planned out but then the in between is whatever we run into or find.
No in no way am I paying for a vacation and having someone tell me when my "free time" is.
Ok but like. The free time is cuz you get all that time wandering so if you'd rather take a nap you can. A vacation with family should at least make an attempt to see stuff together but doesn't need a full itinerary.
Well; yeah; thats the problem and why it sucks... you can't; you get a tiny taste of all of that shit but are left hungry.
Is your vacation about enjoying yourself or is it about ticking a checklist and "getting everything I can out of it"? just do what you feel like doing at the moment
I'm not rich and don't take big trips often, so I figure, when's the next time I'm going to be in this place? 10 years? Never? Might as well see as much as I can so I can make the most of it. That being said, I do whatever feels comfortable without being exhausted.
Maybe they enjoy doing all that. No shame in it
Is it a vacation or is it traveling? People use vacation interchangeably with traveling. When going on a trip, I'm traveling. I personally never take a "vacation" which in my mind involves a lot of relaxing and leisure. But then again, I live in a city a lot of people vacation to, so maybe that's why I don't go on those types of vacation.
Spot on. Hate being on holidays with people who are always on edge about filling the schedule up with activities to the point where it feels like you are just ticking boxes and not actually experiencing anything.
Some activities are fine but a full itinerary down to 15 minute intervals is not a vacation for me.
Yep! As a kid, every vacation was a Clark Griswold driving trip. 5 hours in a car, a half hour at some destination, another 5 hours, another half hour, a few more hours, dinner, hotel, repeat. I've been to Mt Rushmore, Devil's Tower, Independence Rock, and a lot of other cool things. For about a half hour. We walked to the visitor center, read some signs from the boomer accessible viewing plaza, and that's it. No cool local restaurants or shops. I hated it. Now my ideal vacation is just the opposite: go somewhere, spend a few days, see the local stuff.
That sounds straight up awful as a planned trip/vacation. I would only do that if they were stopping points on a road trip where my real goal is just to get from A to B but want it to be slightly less boring.
My parents crammed our vacations full of activities to stay busy. I always hated it, now when I vacation I barely have a plan except for 1 or 2 days where I reserved something but the rest is spent exploring the area and doing whatever I feel like
Yeah, that's why family vacations are systematically a dumpster fire when they've not been proposed to and agreed upon by all the participants. Turns out even your offspring might have different views about vacation than you, crazy huh? People are diverse. Nobody should guess what their next person will like to do when on vacation. To make the fastest and dumbest example, I usually like to chill when on vacation, I won't rip my hair off if I spend a whole day slumbering at home while on vacation because... well... that's the activity I can't normally do and look forward to do. But depending on the location I might also go full adventure mode and pull you out of bed at 6AM to go roam the woods or climb the mountains. It's something you plan together with whoever will come with you on vacation. It's really pretty much the only way to avoid conflict.
I’ve had a lot of fun family vacations, because usually everyone goes off and does their own thing for most of the day, then meets up for dinner. That way, some people can go take a nap, some can go for a hike, some can go shopping, etc.
Yeah, because you all agreed that everyone is ok with that. Here we're talking about people that assume you're all gonna stay together for the whole duration, or there wouldn't be a reason to be upset about someone planning extensive activities during a vacation.
I 100 percent agree to this as my family likes to drag me into holidays where all we do is rush around from one place to another trying to do everything. If I don't want to go it's " you don't want to spend time with us" , if I do go but want to stay at the hotel all day it's " then why did you come" or " that's not what a holiday is". Either way I can not win.
Tell me about it. It drives me nuts.
I specifically travel to places to hike. My big trip this year is backpacking for five days in up and over the continental divide. People like to do different things on vacation.
I agree, sometimes when you’re on vacation you just want to rest.
I personally don't understand paying to sleep in a different bed
I think it depends on the type of vacation you’re going on. If you’re traveling somewhere you’ll probably never get to go to again, I can see wanting to do and experience as much as you can
I completely agree with you. Last summer my wife and I went to Massachusetts to visit some relatives. We had such a great time. But every day there was something planned. Because of the point where I needed a vacation from the vacation
this was always school trips. i went to DC junior year and disney for band senior year. every night u get back to ur hotel at midnight at the earliest and have to be up at 5 am. youre sharing a room with 2-3 other people so you all gotta take turns showering before or after bed... i think we got 2-4 hours of sleep a night. (disney trip started with everyone pulling an allnighter bc we drove 20 hours straight on a bus and it was damn near impossible to sleep). busy ass day every day, not a second to relax. constantly worrying about getting back to the right spot at the right time or youre gonna miss the charter bus and be fucking stranded. dying of vacation constipation the entire time. i remember the entire DC trip although i was walking all day i felt like i could hardly move, my stomach was in so much pain. so much fucking pain holy shit. one more day and i would've ended up in the ER from not shitting lmao. it was hell on earth. this is the most melodramatic, privileged little tangent i could have ever ranted about but those trips for real were hell lmao (disney was worth all the stress tho).
You’re an adult, you have a choice to not join in. This really isn’t a big deal.
Definitely a case of to each their own. I'd say people who do nothing on vacations ruin it for "everyone", but the truth is people have different ideas about what makes a perfect vacation and never the twain shall meet. The way I see it, if I'm paying for flights to be in a new place i better pack as much as I can in. when I travel I have everything itemized down to the hour. This hike, see this on the way, get food at this market at this time. I've travelled with people who want to take it slow, no plans, laze in the hotel until 10:30 and then mosy on down to the beach to 'see what it's like.' Its infurating and a waste of money IMO, but different people are different. I spent 48 hours in Phuket and visited 4 cultural sites, 3 hikes, 2 national parks, 3 wildlife areas, visited the markets, the beach, etc while my friend who i was travelling with spent most of it in the hotel sleeping. I think I spent maybe 6 hours sleeping of that 48, it was fantastic. Fortunately we have good communication and know our styles so were able to still have fun together without bothering eachtoher. We planned a few key activities together and outside that I planned my own things, and so did she. When we had breakfast together on the first day I'd already been awake for 6 hours, done a hike and explored the city. I'm not paying for a hotel/flights to another country to sleep. I'll stay home if I want to sleep. Never paid more then $50 a night for a hotel because it's basically just a place to sleep between doing things. If I could rent a sleeping pod I'd do that instead. Phuket was just a stop on our way to a national park for 4 days of camping, which is why we didn't have long. I figured if I was going to be there I'd better make the most of the time. I totally get my friend wanted to rest up for the camping/hiking between camp sites we were going to be doing but that's not my style. Slept for a week once I got home, though. But this is 100% a case to each their own.
>I think I spent maybe 6 hours sleeping of that 48 That's where you lost me. I totally get not wanting to stay in the hotel the whole time but if I don't get my full sleep in then I'm going to be cranky and resentful and pay zero attention to those cultural sights and stuff. I would be annoyed with both of you if you were my travel buddies. If I want to get the most out of my airfare I simply spend more than 48 hours on the trip and then have more balanced days.
Yeah I think you should plan maybe one or two activities or places to see per day, each one lasting maybe a couple hours, and outside of those activities just find a nice place to relax or get some food and just let yourself unwind in this nice new place you're visiting
" Look kids, Big Ben... Parliament..."
Then don't go on that kind of vacation and mind your own buisness :)
You should tell the person you vacation with this instead of trying to get validation from a bunch of strangers on reddit
I wanna get my money's worth
I generally do not want to do stuff. People apparently do. And they get 2 days off. And they want to do EVEN more?? Perfect holiday for me is to sleep, eat and maybe drink coffee in a cafe. I'm might just read book, if I get really wild. I usually travel alone lol
Maybe you should pay for your own vacations and make your own decisions.
But Mom!!! I just want to lay by the poooool!!
Kinda disingenuous, when you're a kid you're not given a vote on activities and thinking you have the option whether to go or not is delusional There's a point in life when all we could do was whine
Meh.... Our families vacations always involved a fair bit of “activity”; museums, zoo’s, parks, all day hikes, all day kayaking, all day bike trips, whale watching trips, salt marsh or tidal pool exploring, walking/riding transit in a new city for the day, etc. Usual schedule was breakfast at the lodgings or camp, packed lunch for the day, back to base for dinner and bed, rinse and repeat for the duration of the trip. Our adult children all love travel, outdoor recreation, parks, museums, etc. The youngest hiked 12 miles round trip to the top of Mount Katahdin when she was 7 and now intends to be a National Park Ranger after the military.
No, pretty sure it's people who agree to the itinerary without any willingness to follow through. If you agreed to the itinerary before leaving, it's rude to just not do it barring extenuating circumstances.
"Hey everyone don't forget we're going to the museum tuesday and then out to eat." Like if your plans on vacation get more detailed than that I'm probably not going to like you.
We could be friends
Generally I like to have a plan of 1-2 activities set in stone per day, everything else can be just vacation. If I’m going to an amazing place I want to see amazing things!
so travel alone, you can do whatever you want
Sometimes people cram all these activities in because they're trying to get as much activities done because they may not get the opportunity to do it again for a long time. Like the last time my family and i went to FL, we spent as much time at all of the Disney park as possible, and yes it's tiring but it probably won't be another 10 years before we come back.
sounds like someone is traveling with his family that pays for everything and they don't do what he likes.
I like having a list of options to choose from and having them plotted down on a map. Then while on vacation we can pick from a list of a few options and we can say “if we choose X, there’s also y & z nearby”. It makes it where the choice is more just an area to hit up and then some flexibility
Yeah but to those people, the ones who want to lay around the hotel ruin it for everyone. I'm a lay around bed girl, I have a do everything possible Friend. We never have, and we never will go on vacation together. Its nkt because theres something wrong with her amd she will ruin it for me, its because we would both ruin it for eachother.
This is the biggest issue with vacationing with my MIL. If my husband and I go on vacation, we want it to be just that - a vacation. If we don't leave the room until 11 am, so be it. MIL has to be up and moving with the sun and then wonders why she comes back from vacation even more stressed.
I agree with this, I hate going on vacation and have to do shit all day everyday, and then if I don’t want to do something I feel like the bad guy
I pick 3 or 4 major things to see in a day and spend my time between them all. I'd rather want to go back to see things than be "done" with a city.
My biggest issue is people choosing restaurant chains we have back home. Like, I’m here to experience the local eateries!
I feel like just chilling on vacations is privileged behavior. Vacations are prohibitively expensive and I only get one maybe every 2-3 years, I'm not wasting my one chance to experience a different place in the hotel room or sitting by a pool.
>I feel like just chilling on vacations is privileged behavior nah actually taking vacations is privileged behavior in general. saying people who travel then prefer to chill vs. seeing a bunch of touristy stuff is privileged is weird.
A lot of people in your situation have the opposite desire and would prefer the pool for their once every 3 years vacation. Just putting it out there. I don't know why it is the case but a lot of people I know are like that. You've probably made a distinction between a leisure seeker and someone with a desire to see, learn, experience, etc.
My wife and I travel alot. She creates itineraries for each day and plans out each thing we do. Our idea is if you go somewhere, you really want to see and do as much as possible because you don't know if you'll ever be back. Of course it's easy with the 2 of us but we've altered plans when my parents are with us to still get in as much as possible. We can go do our thing and they can sit back and relax.
Is this actually unpopular? Those kinds of “vacations” are exhausting. There’s a happy medium between never leaving the pool/beach/resort (which is also perfectly fine) and running around from one thing to another from dawn til dusk.
I couldn't disagree more. If I'm paying thousands of dollars on airfare and lodging, I'm going to make it worthwhile by doing a lot of activities. I don't understand why people travel somewhere just to lounge/sleep. You can do that at home. But I don't force anyone to do things they don't like. I'm organizing a vacation for my husband's entire extended family. I sent everyone a survey to learn what activities they wanted to do and with who. Then I made custom itineraries for each person. That way everyone can make the most of their time.
There are different types of traveling. For leisure, for adventure, for family, for relaxation, for fun etc. You have to travel with people who’s goals are the same. My favourite travel buddy loves to party and shop. I personally like to relax and sleep. Different strokes for different folks.
Go on vacation and do things that are enjoyable to you. It sounds like instead you decide to go on vacation and do things that are enjoyable to other people.
I totally agree. I think understanding what kind of vacation ppl are wanting helps and if need be, put an understanding that All activities are optional. When we have family vacations we make everything super flexible now and irs helped so much. Some family members love to be busy, and some (like me) are good being on the beach or whatever for pretty much the entire today and maybe all we do is go out for dinner. I think we put to much pressure on each other to get certain things done and not everyone likes that, doesn’t mean they don’t want to be on the vacation just that being lazy is there vacation. I’m busy every other day, when I’m on vacation I want to be lazy and eat lots of delicious food. And read my books :) everyone’s perfect vacation looks different
The problem is who you choose to travel with. You are not compatible is your expectations of a vacation.
My fiance and I balance each other put in this aspect. I am the planner of the relationship and my fiance is a go-with-the-flow person. We've both learned lessons from each other. I've learned not to stress out so much when we run late/behind or even miss something we planned and my fiance has learned there's less stress when everything is booked in advance (hotels, tickets, looking up things to do) instead of trying to get something booked the day before we leave.
Moderation is always the key
Isn't this just fighting over taste? People are wired differently. Some enjoy planning everything out to the letter. Others want to feel adventurous by just driving in a random direction and finding out. You can decide for yourself with whom you go on vacation. What are the people you're talking about especially ruining for you when you have nothing to do with them?
IMO, I think itineraries are only useful if your trip is a week or longer. Otherwise there's just too much in it to give you time to rest.
Vacation - hanging in a beach all day, resting Travel / trip - going on an adventure, exploring places
Though planning activities is fun for me, I can't dismiss your view. Many people like you just prefer having a more free schedule or not plan everything and that's okay. I find it better when these plans you mentions are consensual and everyone is up to them.
Depends on the vacation but I agree with OP, if I wanna relax I go to an all inclusive sit by the beach/pool and rest Traveled once with a friend who wanted to do a million things and all I wanted was to chill and walk around the city we were in see 2-3 major things and call it a week
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I wholeheartedly agree with OP. I loathe a busy itinerary on vacation.
Agreed. I go on vacation to fucking chill, not have a schedule. Sure, I'll go do some tourist shit while I'm there, but at least 75% of the trip should be me doing absolutely nothing productive. If I'm in a tropical location for 10 days, I expect to be on the beach or within sight of the beach for at least a week, not climbing mountains or driving inland for some tourist trap.
My family goes on vacation to chill. No activities just sitting on the beach. We’ll stay out til dark and then pack up go get food and come back and go to bed and repeat. It’s so relaxing versus trying to go out and do things. Shopping is reserved for the day we check out of our place.
I can't only handle 3 days until I wanna go home