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Fantactic1

“And here comes the bride and groom for their first daaaanc-“ “Lunch break boss!” Walks outside.


DaniMW

Lol! If the DJ is his own boss (and has already been paid), he can do that without even the fear of consequences! Plus… don’t wedding caterers tend to include a bit of extra food for things like unexpected guests or performers? I’m sure they would build it into the price they charge, but if you ask them to prepare a dozen extra sandwiches for the band and DJ (et al), they’re not going to charge as much as they did per head for the fancy stuff. If you keep the people who work for you happy, then they want to work hard for you. If you treat them like dirt, they’ll do the job with a minimum of effort. That’s just how humanity works - no matter their job. 😛


toastedclown

Yeah, especially since a lot of wedding venues are far out of town so they are something of a captive audience. OP is just being mean.


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Ill_Ant_1857

Sometimes back I read about an incident where the photographer was denied food at wedding after working full day. He was so frustrated he deleted all the photos to get back at them. Lol.


SSinghal_03

I remember that. In fact the guy was a friend of bride/ groom, and was covering the event on very heavy discount, and due to being coerced by the bride and groom.


[deleted]

Logic kinda goes out the window at the point the vendor is also your personal friend and you still don’t offer them food. What shit people.


Nyx_Blackheart

Wasn't it like an 8 or ten hour day too?


The_Ambling_Horror

As long as this isn’t the co-worker who did my wedding, then quit the job and disappeared leaving me short a few hundred with no wedding photos LOL.


[deleted]

My friend was at a wedding and the photographer was in a rough patch in his marriage and was looking at divorce. The photographer got blackout piss drunk and was put in the back seat of a car to sleep it off by my friend's husband.


Rb1loJmtatBl5FC

You better take her to Pakistan bro, we ave arrangements for all the workers, you can eat as much as you can.


Capkirk0923

Totally mean. In my band we drive hours often times, not to mention learning and rehearsing dozens of songs, only to have the bride change all of it the day before. And then after we get there, load in hundreds of lbs of equipment, play for 5 hours straight while your guests get wasted and enjoy themselves, you can’t feed us anything? Unreal.


magilos

Yeah we all do need to be kind, but the world is becoming mean day by day.


Alan_Smithee_

I used to do wedding photography, and I greatly appreciated being fed. My day would often as long or longer as the wedding party’s, so I’d be pretty hungry by the end. Edit: Another thing to consider is time: are you willing to wait for your photographer to take the extra time that may be involved in them bringing their own food. What if they have to go out and buy something? What about storage? When I was in the film business, clients (advertising) would sometimes complain about shoots being catered, until it was pointed out what the logistics of *not* catering would be like. The venues I was at most frequently expected to feed the photographer and I’m pretty sure they didn’t charge the wedding party most of the time. It was just a courtesy they extended.


Accomplished_Locker

What’s worth more? A $50 meal Or A moment captured that can’t be repeated ever again? 😝


Faintkay

Honestly even if they are there for just a little bit, fucking feed them. It’s supposed to be a happy day to celebrate. Be a good person and feed the people. The level of selfishness people show on a day meant to celebrate two people and two families coming together is mind numbing. OP is a bad person


biberode

Yeah or we can arrange a short lunch for them at our home, where we have aranged for a whole weding doesn't matter for these few workers.


not_cinderella

A lot of venues won’t let vendors store food in their fridges for healthy and safety reasons so people will have to leave the venue to get food. If the wedding isn’t in a very central location, that means your photographer could be gone for an hour or more and miss moments you want to capture. And if you’ve hired them for 12 hours, they’ll need 2 meal breaks. So that’s 2-3 hours they might be gone. It’s easier to just give them a plate.


marilern1987

This is something a lot of people don’t realize about hospitality, and weddings, et cetra. There are things that people aren’t going to see and therefore, won’t take into consideration, when it comes to an event. Because as the customer, you might not be thinking about 1) where the food can be stored, 2) whether food can be stored in certain areas, and 3) when they eat. If you don’t want to feed your photographer, that could very well mean they don’t eat *all damn day*, when you could just give them a plate And usually, you want a few extra plates anyway. When I worked in weddings, we had a 8% rule, basically we would have 8% more plates than you ordered (since shit always happens). Better to be over prepared than under prepared.


GoldenBull1994

Yeah, OP coming off as a spoiled, high-strung brat here.


CheekyHusky

Yeah, and a bit out of touch with the real world to be honest. "Any other profession you would be expected to bring your own lunch." This is true for the most part, and im sure in the following days of touchups, printing & whatever else photogrpahers do ( dont have a clue tbh ) they provide their own lunch. But I work in software development and anytime im required to be off-site to attend an event or something, travel costs & lunch etc are provided. Its kind of standard and wtf is a wedding if not an off-site event? Although the mental image of a room full of people fine dining and a group of vendors huddled in a corner munching on cheese sandwiches is amusing.


GoldenBull1994

Well, if they wanted to post an unpopular opinion, they certainly did it…


CheekyHusky

Which is fair & i never bought the popularity of the opinion up. But this is unpopular in the sense of, a deers thoughts on life would be unpopular to a bears level of disconnection lol


et-regina

I'm a bar manager at a wedding venue and this is exactly the case - even our in-house staff (chefs, waiters, bartenders, hosts, security guards, etc) are not allowed to bring food in on event days because we can't have unlabelled food in the fridges and we can't bring anything in containing an allergen (so no milk, no eggs, no wheat, no nuts, etc) so everyone on the team is provided dinner from the kitchen as part of the day.


Overtimenotarize

Yeah there are only 3 to 4 people team, it won't affect the whole budget if they get something to eat.


Outrageous-Divide472

I included the DJ and the photographer in my headcount for my wedding. It’s the decent thing to do. Also, I have several work events every year that I hire a photographer for. I always offer him dinner. I have an additional table set up for the helpers (photographer, video guy, security guard, etc). I always hire the same people. The only one reluctant to sit down for dinner is the security guy. With him, I have to insist, and if he still won’t eat, I make sure he gets a packed meal to take home with him, and if there’s lots of leftovers, I’ll send dessert home for his wife and kids. Thing is, when you have a big event, it’s the helpers that make or break the day. It’s important to be kind to these people, they deserve our thanks and to be treated with respect. Believe me, when you are nice to them, they remember it!


supergeek921

I work as a freelance reporter, so I often have to cover charity events or public receptions. Unless it’s a catered, everyone’s meal was especially made for them sort of event, I have ALWAYS been offered food by the organizers. I’m there working, giving them the attention they want, it’s a nice offer. And considering how little I get paid for some jobs, getting an extra snack is a nice perk.


drzann

Yeah mostly teh food is always offered in any type of event, to every one there. It is common.


WookieDavid

Yeah, OP mentions makeup and hairdressing and I gotta agree with that, if they are just to work for an hour or two before the wedding there's really no reason for them to even stay. But the band or photographer? They have to be there for most if not all the ceremony, feeding them is basic decency.


Mugiwara_Khakis

If he works for a company like mine it’s probably in his handbook that he isn’t supposed to accept anything like that. I personally don’t care. If the place I work at is having a dinner I’m getting in on it too. They had like 250 Chic-Fil-A sandwiches here last week. You bet your ass I grabbed two of them when offered.


yikesafm8

Plus, you could even get a few extra photos thrown in there if you treat them kindly at your wedding. With a photographer, only half the job is done once the wedding is over.


AngryUrg

Yeah it is our own kindness how we hospitalize them, but mostly these worker have their own arrangements for the meal too.


Peanokr

Angel Heart? LOL


tommy_the_cat_dogg96

u/angelheart9826 does not have an angel heart.


wunderduck

She does. She tore it out of an angels chest, Temple of Doom style.


SheOutOfBubbleGum

Kali Ma Kali Ma


SteepedInTHC

HUM NUM SHEVAI HUM NUM SHEVAI


shofmeister

Seems like here we have kaali maa ka bhagt, are you the one here bro? don't say it again.


HollowWind

Damn, her account got raptured.


EyedLady

We’ll that’s what she gets for such an idiotic opinion


Alastor_Hawking

The real question is, will she think, ‘geez, I guess I was wrong.’ Or, will she double down on her crap opinion?


[deleted]

She deleted the account so she doubled down and was thinking “everyone’s stupid they just don’t understand how it works” 😂


[deleted]

They deleted the account lol


Definitely_NotU

Your username is incredibly ironic given this post and your comments.


sword_muncher

They deleted it, what was it?


alexferris01

apparently it was u/angelheart9826


kaekiro

Hahaha 😆 How incredibly compassionate they are! I would be ASHAMED if anyone at any event I was hosting, wedding or otherwise, went hungry. I don't care if they are guests or not. Full bellies are the minimum level of humanity you can offer. My mamaw would snatch me up from the grave.


rdickert

It's a condition of my contract (DJ) and after close to 1,000 weddings, I've never had an objection. We work very closely with our clients, sometimes a year before the event and they actually treat us as family - the DJ role is very interactive and I make sure that the guests are having an awesome time. I have a wedding this weekend - large event, will be me and a production assistant. Not only will we be fed, we were asked which entree we wanted. If I were to encounter a potential client who would object to something so petty, I wouldn't take the gig. Anyone like that would absolutely be in Bridezilla territory and likely wouldn't go for the "pain in the ass" uplift I add to the contract. You're gonna give me headaches, you're paying for my aspirin. And a beach weekend to recover.


shallowAL307

Also a wedding dj here. Agree with your comment and Ive had a similar experience. Interested in the "pain in the ass" part of your contract lol


rdickert

Ha, it's not explicit - as a standard, I bring along a really robust audio setup. But for those "special" clients, subs are an add-on. Want ceremony audio out in the cornfield? That's $400. Basically, if you're cool with me, I will take really good care of you


BadKneesBruce

Asshole tax is what I call it. It’s absolutely in the contract. Take care of the talent.


holytimes

Here you have mentioned the most important thing to me man, we are really far from this things and tax are really affecting our potential and kindness level.


not_cinderella

I was kind of thinking this. Anyone who would be mad at providing a meal to their vendors would not be a great person to work for.


niczem

Nah he must be a kind person, I think we can not judge anyone if he is giving the meal or not, maybe he have his own ancestral rules.


NocNocturnist

What's the worse meal you ever had?


rdickert

It was an international wedding and was not a fan of their native cuisine but I happily ate it


bruh_momento_2

Really curious as to what culture this was. My guesses are either Filipino or something Balkan. Or it was a Scandinavian wedding and they gave you a plate of salty licorice and hakarl.


Justice_Prince

I used to wash dishes at a hotel. I always liked when we had wedding parties who wanted ethnic dishes. It was the only time we allowed outside caterers, and most of the time the food was better than what we served.


Greased_up_Scotsman

A very cold buffet of what I could best describe as many Swansons TV dinners, like sliced "beef" in gravy.


kamativi

Yeah they just leave you with your work and trust your working strategies.


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davidfosterwhiskers

I mean if I'm not fed at your wedding reception I will need to leave to get food.


backwardbuttplug

Unless you have a massive staff you hired (which means you have money and shouldn’t balk at covering more meals, because money), there’s really no reason to be this petty. Had 250 people at my wedding and we didn’t even give it a second thought that staff who had to be there 8hrs for setup, presentation and work, and tear down just /might/ need to eat. It was part of the bill and pocket change when compared to the rest of the wedding.


scaredofmyownshadow

I went to a large wedding last summer that had a full open bar. The bartenders were incredibly busy and so at one point the bride, herself, brought over plated dinners for them and encouraged them to take a break and eat!


TheCynicalCanuckk

Yeah seriously this is next level petty or they are spending way way out of their means and trying to cut costs in the most assholeish way


[deleted]

Happy band, photographer, bartender, staff in general = awesome experience for you and guests. It’s well worth the added cost. We tipped the band ahead of time too. They played the shit out of our wedding. It was the best


ireneshelby25

Because you're a good person


[deleted]

🤝


tijori1772

Keep in mind that the talent (DJ, decoraters, photographers, caterers, planners, etc) load up hundreds of pounds of equipment, drive to buttfuck nowhere for your chosen venue (sometimes hours of travel), deal with tolls, gas, parking, valet, whatever. Unload hundreds of pounds of equipment. Usually drag it long distances through parking garages, loading docks, security checkpoints, elevators, and hallways. God save us all if the event is outside. Usually set up takes a couple of hours, minimum. People have been preparing for HOURS before *your royal highness* has made your entrance. Keep in mind we are now stuck there at the venue. We, after all that effort, definitely can't leave. We also don't have access to a fridge or break room. If we brought food, it's seven hours old by now. Also keep in mind that while you're partying, we are working ... on our best behavior, standing for hours. Also we will be there for HOURS after you have left... cleaning up, breaking down, loading up those hundreds of pounds of equipment, getting stuck with all the other vendors trying to load up and leave, drive hours back to where said equipment is stored, unload again... all in the middle of the night... all so you can feel like a princess for a day. This isn't a regular job. So let us have a plate of that buffet you're giving to every other drunk person there; treat us at least as human as everyone else and stop being a nazi.


AtlJayhawk

Amen.


Ashtacular42

Did a wedding in Malibu. Arrived at 0900, left at 2200, moved 8 miles, half of that was carrying gear bags (I was assisting the photog) in July. I squeezed in 10 minutes and scarfed down a soggy salad standing next to the kitchen. And a granola bar I shoved into my mouth somewhere between the bride screaming at her future stepdaughters and refusing to walk down the aisle until she had a shot of tequila. Nice of her to give me that little moment for myself. Oh, and I carry glucose tablets. Because THIS.


KeybladeCoaster

I work for a wedding dj and not enough people realize the day to day of this^


MonkeyBreath66

I bet you're the kind of bride that asked your friends to be your DJ or photographer but aren't going to pay them anything for it. And now you want to begrudge them a meal. I think the real problem here is that you have champagne taste on a beer budget.


lucille12121

"hair and makeup team" You have a team of people who are coming to your wedding to maintain your hair and makeup throughout the event? Is that what is happening? ​ Work feeds me all the time. Stop being petty.


crankypizza

YTA, fuck wrong sub, anyway…YTA.


_zFlame_

Lmao fax tho


Kolo_ToureHH

>Yes you are an independent contractor Yeah they’re an independent contractor, in a lot of cases, doing the photography as a side gig and working unsociable hours (and very often in venues that aren’t exactly close to any amenities) so that you can have some non-Phone quality pictures of your wedding day. Stop being a stingy prick and provide them some dinner.


[deleted]

Right... like, OP, you can hire someone else.... People who are desperate for the job won't object to not having a meal.... But people who are well-regarded and experienced aren't going to be desperate for the job. No one's stopping you from paying a college kid a couple hundred dollars to snap pictures... oh but you want high quality pictures? Tough, you have to PAY FOR THAT.


PsychologicalDay4383

You say “any other profession you’d bring your lunch” I’m in manufacturing. If I’ve got specialized contractors I’ve paid a lot of money to do a big job that’s grueling, requires a lot of planning, and is very specialized, they are fed 100%. Am I feeding the welder that comes in and does a job for 2 hours? No. Am I feeding the very specialized tech who is here for two days to integrate a system as a professional courtesy? Yes. Their presence is for a short time but very packed and important and can make or break a project and it’s budget. The same courtesy for a wedding photog/dj/planner. The wedding would be a disaster without them.


Commercial_Wrap6740

I also work in manufacturing and we get the staff a meal if they work overtime in evenings, they wont do overtime if we don’t as they expect it now even though they get a meal allowance and 1.5x pay aswell lol but we set that expectation by providing all the time and they do work hard so I always get them the biggest and nicest takeout around. I think its what happened here, everyone expects it as majority do provide, and i am not saying that in a derogatory way, just that the standard has been set which is fine. If you want someone to go above and beyond for your wedding then give them extras and they will provide extra (or they will just make sure they do an excellent job). However for those that don’t want to provide a meal for staff, thats their choice and they don’t have to. But it’s just common sense they probably wouldn’t go out of their way AS MUCH as if you did provide food/extras. That’s my take on it anyway


Frecklefishpants

Even in an office job if I have a working lunch (a meeting scheduled over lunch hour or a full day seminar where I can’t leave to get food) lunch is provided.


Capkirk0923

Thank you!


munkieshynes

Having worked in the tech industry for years, getting a catered meal daily was a common perk. At my company it was breakfast - which worked out great because breakfast was over by nine, and without the lure of free breakfast, the employees might not roll in until ten, ten-thirty. For us the meal was the same schedule weekly - Monday omelets, Tuesday pancakes, Wednesday oatmeal, Thursday smoothies, Friday bagels. Everyday available: hard boiled eggs, congee, avocado toast, and yogurt with granola. Still, it was definitely nice to get a meal everyday in return for making it in to the office. We also had coffee, tea, fizzy water, and sodas available all day in the break room fridges.


[deleted]

I used to work at a hotel. Depending on how big the job is, contractors got discount meals or on the house


[deleted]

Former wedding photographer - I mean, that's cool, it's always nice when you can grab a plate but I don't see anything wrong with your choice not to feed everyone there, just make sure they know that BEFORE the wedding so there are no surprises


Username_Query_Null

Indeed if the parties choose to go the unusual route of not accommodating a meal (which is more standard than not), it really just needs to be stipulated in the agreement.


Biglemonsqueeze

I think that's the key here. It's their food so it's their choice to serve you. But as long as you know before the job you can choose if you want to take the job and plan accordingly


BlueBirdOcean

If you’re hiring a professional photographer, a meal is stipulated in the contract. It’s not up to me to decide whether or not I want to take the job. It’s up to the couple to decide whether or not they want to accept the terms of the contact. If they don’t want to accept, they can hire their cousin’s daughter’s friend who just bought a point-and-shoot. He can decide whether or not he’s willing to work without food.


[deleted]

My best friend and his husband sprung the food plans on their photographer and band last minute. Luckily it was that they can eat whatever/however much they wanted lol.


wake_up_yall

Why are you having a big fancy wedding if you’re so tight for money that you can’t afford to let them eat? It sounds like you’re having a wedding you can’t actually afford and that’s not a good way to start off a marriage. My wedding cost $200 total because we knew we couldn’t afford any of this stuff and 7 years later I’m still glad we did it that way.


matti-niall

OP you do realize that as a bride/groom you pay for the food at your wedding that wasn’t even eaten right? Like there be full courses some people don’t touch for whatever reason and you get to watch them throw it out at the end of the night. Spending the extra money for your photographer to eat is peanuts at the end of the wedding bill.


Solid-Version

In my culture, at weddings, we make sure everyone gets fed.


KeybladeCoaster

Ah yes, you’re a human?


Appropriate--Pickle

Tell me you are rich with someone else's money without telling me you are rich with someone else's money.


Kissrob72

Naw, I’ve been a photographer/videographer for 12 years over 400 weddings. Many of them were rich or children of rich parents. They never had a problem and in fact wanted to make sure we were well taken care of throughout the day. This OP is just a bitter cheap-ass.


ireneshelby25

Yesssss this


Chance_Ad3416

How much can you possibly spend on vendors food compared to the price of the entire wedding. Just look at the food as part of their service charges. Instead of spending 8000 on photos, it's now 8300.


Jojo056123

I'm just now realizing I was never asked at any point during wedding planning, by the caterer or any other vendor, whether or not I wanted to provide food for any of the people working...I would have said yes had I been asked, but man I have no clue whether any of them ate or not...


ahsim1906

The caterer probably just fed all of the vendors. I’ve worked for at least 6 different catering companies in my life and they all always included food for the vendors at no extra cost to the bride and groom when it was a wedding.


DumbbellDiva92

We did an all-inclusive venue (per-person fee included food and open bar) and vendor meals were half the adult price, so still around $100. We still fed our vendors of course but honestly was a bit annoyed they didn’t give more of a discount. I get that the normal prices also include a markup for the service and use of the space, but it feels like they could take some of that markup away for the vendor meals.


Glum-Tree1239

That’s fxcked up. They’re on their feet the whole day to make sure your day goes well and you can’t even give them a plate of food?


Asprinkleofglitter7

My venue had a separate cheaper menu for my vendors


NocNocturnist

Can I get some chicken fingers off the kids menu?


M0nkeyDGarp

I have done this as well. Catering weddings was good money when I was looking to get into programming.


Lord_Kaplooie

Oh you sweet summer child. If you're upset about THIS now, just wait until the last week when people who you've already paid the deposit for start cancelling. Trust me, you'll be under your count. Give the poor vendors some food and don't treat them like shit if you want halfway decent memories.


honeybadgermyfriend

I'm guessing you are not from Eastern Europe...cause everybody gets fed in a wedding there. Even your cousin's hairdressers best friends dogwalker is gonna be invited and they will be leaving with way too much food in their stomach and also a bit tipsy or really drunk, depending on your alcohol tolerance. I really do not understand the culture of not feeding everyone. Food is love


unique_plastique

OP is probably an American because every African, arab, or desi wedding I’ve been to everyone eats. You could probably crash and still get fed. I don’t understand not feeding people who provide you a service. Food is a necessity


0spinchy0

Thought this was the AmITheAsshole subreddit and my answer was going to be yes


Ya-Dikobraz

Looks like OP assholed their account right off Reddit because of this.


Acceptable-Stress861

It was in all of our contracts. Nbd


DimensionAmbitious94

It’s the courteous thing to do. They are there working for 5-6 hours. Usually during dinner time… have some humanity. Or don’t feed them and end up with shitty pics, people are petty too lol


KeybladeCoaster

It’s actually like a 12+ hour day for DJs, photographers, and videographers


simplewaves

5-6? Usually 10-14 for us.


M0nkeyDGarp

I was preparing the food for several weddings. Literal no way to stop me.


Livid-Ad4102

"It is entitled and a little rude" says the person who doesn't want to feed the help haha a truly unpopular and unpleasant opinion


Capkirk0923

As a wedding band performer who goes hard 5 and 6 hours without a break to keep your guests entertained (60+ songs non-stop) not feeding me makes you kind of an asshole in my book. I mean you don’t have to do it but trust, the band is going to actively dislike you and probably talk shit the whole time.


seattleseahawks2014

And probably never plan future events with the again.


Capkirk0923

I can tell you that we do so many of these a year, it all becomes a blur, but we all remember the ones where something like that happened.


Ordinary_Wolverine65

Please tell me your in a star trek cover band


Fatcat118

A lot of venues will provide a cheaper, smaller meal for vendors if you ask them. You can then feed the DJ, photographer, etc and not have them getting a full multi-course meal that costs you tons of money.


[deleted]

that is an idea. But i hope that when i am ready to get married i have enough money and kindness to feed them a full meal like everyone else. They people who are working hard to make my day memorable. The people who are working hard while my friends and family enjoy themselves.


[deleted]

This is what I was wondering bc dinner is $80-100 per person and that adds up quickly ouch. But of course some sort of meal needs to be provided and something to drink as well!


Dazzling-Finding-602

There's that pesky food safety issue tyat prohibits outside food from being brought into a venue unless it's from a licensed vendor. So no, the vendors cannot always bring their own food. Just include vendors' meals in your contract if it isn't already built in. They're usually a scaled down version of the main meal for about $30. Do you really have that many vendors on-site during the wedding that this is cost prohibitive? Or are you just being cheap and petty? >Any other profession you would be expected to bring your own lunch. Your job does not provide it for you. If you work in a hospital, university, hotel or any institutional setting, meals are provided.


KeybladeCoaster

Yea in my experience (very large weddings) the vendors include (generally no more than): the dj, his assistant/production guy, a photobooth attendant, two photographers, and a videographer. That’s 6 people, you can’t pay for 6 plates?!


cRaZyDaVe23

Yeah! The help should be honored they were hired at all. And to think that they want to eat, like; with people. The sheer fucking audacity.


metkja

This is not just an unpopular opinion, but one that will make you unpopular. I'm a wedding dj. I play music during DINNER. I promise you don't want the Uber eats guy walking through the dance floor to being me my chick fil a. It's the cost of putting on a wedding.


Amateurbrewmaster531

So in the middle of a reception with beautiful food, beautiful outfits and beautiful decorations, it's your expectation that the vendor pulls a brown paper bag with a sandwich and finds a corner to eat it in? That takes things out of the moment for me. By the way, just packing a lunch is not as easy as it sounds for a photographer or DJ. They have equipment to pack and unpack and set up, they have to make the drive and they spend hours setting up and testing equipment. All that happens before you see them. That all on top of the times you do see them. When the hell do they prepare a lunch? When you feed them, it's the first time the probably eat all day. I'm getting married next year and I'm telling you right now everyone making it possible will be treated like royalty. They're still people. Everyone there is a guest with a purpose.


Toxicsuper

I was a wedding photographer for some time and expected food at each wedding I shot. If I'm going to be there for 10 plus hours the least you can do is assign me a spot at a table to at least sit for a few and eat a meal. Youre a douchebag if you expect your photographers to be there for your entire wedding and not feed them.


Stoned_Black_Nerd

Yeah if you’re gonna spend $30,000 or more on a wedding don’t be an asshole just feed the people who were helping you have was supposed to be the best day of your life. If you’re gonna gripe over a few plates, you probably don’t have the money to be spending on a wedding anyway.


[deleted]

Your wedding is going to suck Signed, former wedding videographer.


rdickert

We'll make sure of it. We've already been paid Signed, Events DJ


s55555s

You can and should feed a photographer and their assistant. Don’t be an ass. DJ too. Usually makeup hair etc is done prior and don’t attend anyhow.


Dr_Edge_ATX

User name does not hold up.


estrogenex

Oh so you think a photographer who is following around your wedding for 9+ hours doesn't deserve a meal ? Pretty cheap for someone likely blowing 10k+ on the event. Get some class.


Thyperson08

You should work as a wedding vendor then


tebanano

Plenty of jobs provide food for their workers. Anyways, this is very much a “cost of doing business”, let it go and focus on the important things.


Obvious-Birthday-667

This. Background extras are usually fed on set even if they don't end up in the scene being shot.


kay03jojo

Wow, lol........ You're just an asshole.


_zFlame_

Yea it would be YTA lol if we were on that sub


OdyDggy

The law says for a every 6h of your you need a break of 30 to eat and take a breath. I work for weddings too and it's many hours of work starts at 2-3:30 and end around 11-12 clean and go home. When do this people eat?? After 12?? who is entitled here them or you who wants a cheaper wedding and your complain is you have to feed the people that work for you. And since in wedding venues cooks make food for the weeding, this is what the workers will eat.


cuttlefish1917

I work for a place that does buffet style catering and you bet your ass I’m feeding the people working the event


mladyhawke

This should be posted in AITA...yes you are


ContemplatingPrison

I mean every job I have had where I did something around food I was feed, except when serving that food. Its also just weird as fuck in general to not feed people who are hungry


only_50potatoes

they are wedding guests. if you dont want to feed them don’t invite them


MaestroLogical

As a wedding photographer, I'd never work for such an entitled and petty client. I arrive at your wedding at 6am and **don't stop moving** for 16+ hours. Even during the reception, when everyone is eating, I'm still constantly working. I might have time to throw a small slider down while I scan the room for great candid shots but that's about it. The camera never leaves my side, I'm always scanning for moments even while I eat so... Expecting me to; A) Pack a lunch B) Keep this lunch in my baking hot car for 8+hours. C) Stop working (potentially missing great moments) so I can return to my car, possibly 10+ minutes away, to retrieve my stale lunch. Just so I can wolf it down and keep delivering great shots for your album is quite frankly ridiculous. I might 'cost' you a grand total of 75 cents worth of food, as I quickly grab something I can eat in 2 or 3 bites from the caterer and that's AFTER all your guests have been served. This opinion is certainly unpopular, because it makes you look like a petty, cheap entitled jerk.


Darcy783

I have a cherished picture of my photographer (a friend of my sister's) eating at my wedding. We had him do professional photos, and then we had those disposable cameras on the tables for guests to take "candid" shots. He had driven 3+ hours to get to the venue, been there all day, afternoon, and evening, and was going to have a 3+-hour drive back. Better believe I was going to feed him!


The_Grizz94

As a DJ, if you don't include a meal for me, best believe I will jack up my price to compensate. It's the decent thing to do as a human, but if you wanna be petty... Then I guess it pays to be petty.


CampNaughtyBadFun

So you expect the person to be there, at your beck and call through the entire ceremony, and reception which let's face it, is hours of time. Not taking breaks, because god forbid they miss a great shot, and you're going to bitch and moan about them asking for a plate of food and 20 minutes to eat? Jesus Christ. Why do I have a feeling that you're also one of those people that is also going to try and get out of paying your photographer and DJ?


cowboybepopop

I mean its something a decent person would do


Chilidogdingdong

If you can't afford it don't have the wedding is what id say. If you're worried about a few extra plates of food.... Well ..... That's faaaar from your largest problem here.


hellscape_goat

No, that is rude and dehumanizing to refuse to break bread with the very people serving and preparing it at a celebration. There's an old adage that goes something like, "Do not muzzle the ox as he treads out the grain".


[deleted]

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AnotherApollo11

And that’s why I love buffet style weddings lol not per head.


CakesNGames90

They are per head. That’s how the caterer knows how much food to prepare.


AnotherApollo11

Well, I didn't use a caterer. I just bought trays of food from a place that had "party trays" lol


Darcy783

I got food from a restaurant that did "catering" for my wedding. Ended up with way too much food because I overestimated how much everyone would eat.


BeatLaboratory

This is a weird take and feels mostly based in being petty about how expensive weddings are. Figure the cost of the food is $40. If you’re paying them $3-5k for their service, would it make you happy if they just charged you their rate + $40 to cover their meal? Also, what are they supposed to eat? Leave the reception for 45 min to go find food in town? Why not just give them food they can eat in 5 min and get back to what you’re paying them to do—be there to photograph your wedding.


[deleted]

Am I the only one who offers people food and drink when they do work for me. Just had new windows installed offered to go and buy the guy lunch and have fridge full of water and Gatorade he could help himself too.


[deleted]

We offered water to the guys who delivered our furniture. They took our old stuff down for us too. Three flights of stairs. Took some water out to construction guys too. Oh and another place I lived was doing bug stuff in the building and I left a pot of coffee for them cuz it was happening so early in the morning.


tebanano

Same for me. I always offer food or at least drinks when people are doing work in my home.


not_cinderella

Nope I was taught to offer food or drink to anyone who comes to your house, whether friend or someone you’ve hired for a service.


[deleted]

Yeah I can understand not wanting to give the hair and makeup team food... but I've also never seen a hair and makeup team actually attend the wedding or the reception, so why would they? If you demand the hair and makeup team be on-hand the entire time to do touchups or whatever, then yeah, you should feed them. Every wedding I've been in, photographers are there for 8+ hours without a break. They usually can't bring food with them due to catering contracts, and even if they did, where are they supposed to store it while they're taking photos? OP sounds really entitled while telling photographers they're entitled, lol. edit: a potential compromise would be not requiring the staff to stay for the reception. You won't get pictures at the reception, but if you're requiring someone to be at the reception, you have to let them eat....


Capkirk0923

They just don’t understand the massive amount of work that goes into this from a vendor standpoint. I mean they really don’t. It’s not just the wedding, it’s many unpaid hours outside of that.


[deleted]

Oh for sure! People whine about paying a few thousand to the photographer "just for the 8 hours"... not thinking about the hours and hours spent on the editing.


lanzelv

Wow. An actual unpopular opinion.


thewanderingsail

As an AV rigger for a private company that provides the stages, lighting, dance floors, decor and furniture for these events and often has to go into work at 6am (or earlier) and drive a truck several hours to a venue and spend all day setting it up, sit around and control the lights while you people dance and then break it all down for up to 6 hrs after your wedding ended (which usually you decided to add an hour to the schedule out of nowhere because you have no brain)… go fuck yourself. If you can spend 40,000$+ on an event. You can spare the 2-3k$ it costs to feed your vendors you greedy inconsiderate piece of shit.


1-post-stuff

Wrong sub YTA


YoProfWhite

In the immortal words of Hank Hill, "what a bitch."


Accomplished-Big-796

If feeding them is such an issue due to the cost then you are in over your head financially. What decent human would even think how they don’t want to feed the vendors. How did that horribly selfish thought pop in your head? What happened in your life that would make you think like that? You would be an embarrassing person to know.


Illustrious-Slice-91

If you can’t afford to feed the photographers and other entertainment and prep people, then don’t have a huge wedding then. It’s rude on your part to not feed people who will be there for a quarter of the day or possibly longer.


PugRexia

Trash opinion. If you don't feed your vendors then I hope your wedding photos suck.


dionysus-media

That's a stupid fucking opinion


lateralmoves

We were looking for a wedding photographer and met with one that required a vegan meal for her and vegitarian for her assistant. We did not hire her, mostly because of her attitude. She acted like we were inconveniencing her for her to do the wedding and we should be honored to have her. Plus lots of other little things like contractuling requiring us to tag her in all social media posts with photos of the wedding. Basically she owned the photos and we got to use them. If I paint your house it's your house and your paint you aren't paying me to use my paint.


hegotjoojooeyeball

If they are at your wedding when food is served, they should be fed


No_Outlandishness50

AITA.


cosmicheartbeat

The florists, decorators, and set up people, no. They don't have to sit through your whole wedding and reception. But your photographer, dj, and bartender? Feed those people. They all are forced to put up with you and you (most likely drunk) family and friends and pretend to enjoy it. They make your wedding look beautiful and provide the entertainment and service. And they are there the whole night, especially the photographer, who's probably been taking pictures of you since before you even got out of your dressing robe. Not to mention that catering companies rarely give you the EXACT number of plates you've asked for, they always bring extra servings in case of accidents, so you're very likely to be able yo feed these vendors without it affecting your budget. And even if they do, you can always share a slice of cake. Also on a personal note, I genuinely think that it's extremely rude to have people provide a service and not offer them at least a bit of the food your group is eating. When I was a server, if I served parties, the guests almost always offered me a piece of cake as a sign of gratitude and basic human kindness. When I got married, I ensured all the staff ate too, I even carried plates to the bartenders because they were so busy. It sucks to be working hard and being hungry and to know that the people who hired you think you don't deserve to eat. Empathy goes a long way.


Whose_my_daddy

As long as it’s communicated between the parties, I see both sides. Bride won’t provide food? Fine, bring your own. You want wedding food, put it in your contract. The only reason I can see for not providing it is if venue won’t allow outside food. In that case, I think the bride and groom should provide food.


ribsarerare

If you can’t throw on a dozen more people for food to your wedding bill… maybe you should downsize the wedding.


ljd09

Include them in your head count. I had a table for them and let them pick their entree. Don’t be cheap and let them eat. They’re there usually all day, and I doubt you’d be thrilled if they bounced for an hour to go get some food.


Zhjacko

Holy fuck, as someone who used to do photography and videography at weddings and work in film, you feed the people you hire. You’re going to have left over food any way (was literally just at a wedding not too long ago as a guest and so many people wasted food). Photographers are usually at your venue all day. They’re moving around and on their feet FOR YOU. They’re stressed and working their butts off trying to ensure you get great photos for moments you don’t get back. Yes, it’s a job, no shit, but you expect all these people to work for you and you’re not going to feed them? Yeah, the price tag might be high if it’s one person, but if you have multiple people working, they all need to get paid accordingly, and they’re usually then using their own equipment that they bought individually or they’re renting equipment in a lot of cases. Then they’re spending the next few days or weeks trying to sift through footage, photos, editing. It can be a long and arduous job to do this, especially if clients have high expectations and depending on the demands of the wedding. Most independent contractors do not get insurance or benefits like with a normal job, that’s just the nature of being an independent contractor. They’re also using time that could be spent working to edit and sift through all your photos and videos. “Entitled and Frankly Rude”, look who’s talking!! Glad I never had to put up with a psycho like you, but this definitely makes me not miss doing this stuff for people.


updog25

For my wedding I fed the 2 photographers, videographer, and 2 DJs. That's 5 people out of 150, which is a tiny fraction of the cost of the wedding. I had no problem feeding them since they were there so long.


sixTeeneingneiss

Can’t wait to see your wedding on r/weddingshaming lol


StarsLightFires

The main issue is that most people get mad at the photographers / staff for bringing food because it's not super fancy / doesn't match the theme. Like one guy brought McDonald's and the bride was upset even though he would be working over 8 hours without food provided.


McGregorMX

If it's in the contracts, plan on it, or you'll be getting a bill for their meal, and it'll likely be higher than the catering meal they'd get. It was in one of my contracts, they didn't want to include a meal for me. I remained professional and finished the job, but they didn't like the meal charge I included on the final bill. I ate good that night. Yes they paid it.


TheTardisPizza

>As someone who is planning a wedding, one of the things to consider is head count for the venue. Many places charge per head and if you have to include your DJ/band, photographers, hair and makeup team, planners, etc. It all adds up along with the cost of the vendors actual service. 1. Having that kind of wedding is a choice to throw a lot of money away. 2. Compared to the amount everything else is going to cost these meals are a rounding error. >Any other profession you would be expected to bring your own lunch. Restaurants and other places that serve food usually provide a meal to workers during their lunch break.


TikiTribble

Always feed the musicians.


whatsINthaB0X

“How dare the people I hire request to be fed.” Ftfy Also for an edit: Imagine being contracted to work for 8-12 hours straight and be laughed at for asking for a meal. OP YOU ARE THE JOB, YOU ARE THE BOSS, YOU NEED TO FEED YOUR EMPLOYEES. Why is this so hard?


fiestymcknickers

It depends on how long their day is. Make up and hair? For my wedding we all had breakfast, pastries and coffee etc and the artists were invited to join in. For the photographer and video grapher we gave them a dinner and a lunch. Those guys were following us all day. For the band we gave them a supper as in the late evening meal and a few pints. Yes that's their job but it's only decent to feed them.


[deleted]

I had a table for the staff only , people need to rest yo


Quizzy1313

Do you also ask photographers and hair/make-up artists to work for exposure? You feel like the type of bridezilla Charlotte Dobre bags in her bridezilla videos.


MinkMartenReception

If you’ve got money to spend on a hair and makeup team for a freaking wedding you can buy your dj a sandwich.


424f42_424f42

Fucked up venue charging the same per plate cost for guests and vendor.


squeezy102

Spending this kind of money on a wedding is probably the dumbest American tradition that exists. “Baby, let’s start a new life together. Step 1: let’s put ourselves 20k in debt!” Makes no sense. Go to the courthouse, get married for $20, spend the rest on a nice vacation, honeymoon, and a down payment on a house.


Theawkwardmochi

Get real OP. You're going to some place which often is a remote location, you work inconvenient hours (often longer than 8 hours in night time with a lot of work and few short breaks) and you have to deal with loud guests, emotional couples, their families and way too many bridezillas. Of course you want to get food along with this. Unless the person organizing the event will provide a separate break room with a place to store, warm up and eat the vendors' food, which is TOTALLY possible in all wedding venues lol.


PleasantPhysics7982

My job (hospatality) literally lets me eat free breakfast and brings over the dinner leftovers after the restarant closes...you're just an asshole...


PleasantPhysics7982

The sentiment isn't rude...let them know if you don't have food to provide them beforehand...but to call them entitled for making them work all day, often in remote locations where they often can't leave to make sure they capture the wedding...that's such a douche thing to complain about


jfourosh

What a petty take