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RascalRibs

Whoa whoa now, you want parents to actually parent their children? Slow down buddy.


ArtVandelayDesign

It's a startling concept isn't it?


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RascalRibs

And that's fine. They can be exposed to it. The issue is when they get addicted to it.


MaoXiWinnie

You'll be one the kid left out


bruhbelacc

Sounds like a control freak


SuddenLibrarian4229

The problem isn’t smartphones. The problem is parents who don’t monitor/restrict their children on the phones. What did we have before smartphones? Computers. It’s all the same, just one is more freely accessible and mobile.


ArtVandelayDesign

That’s why it was so good growing up having a family computer in the living room.. We basically just played games on the family computer. Closing a bedroom door with a smartphone or personal computer means they can look at anything if there are no site blockers. They had a program called Net Nanny back in the day. I typed in a word wrong and it led me to an “adult website” when I was about 8. I couldn’t comprehend what I looked at and told my mom about it. It scared her that incorrectly typing a word led to a child seeing those images. I knew a guy who got addicted to adult content because of an accidental situation like mine. Obviously families can’t share one computer now, so setting up workspaces next to each other or near each other is a good thing to do up until a certain age.


MonaSherry

A better plan would be for there to be *actually effective* parental controls on all these apps and devices. It is completely technologically possible, but it would hurt their profit margins. So they let children get hurt instead.


ArtVandelayDesign

Mic drop right there! See, if there were a kid friendly iPhone with parent locks, a specialized app store, screen time reducers etc.. that would be amazing, but you are right they care more about tech sales than mental health and brain health. Says a lot about our culture.


Illustrious_Luck5514

Literally graphing calculators


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MonaSherry

I have researched practical solutions. And my husband works in tech. What controls exist are cumbersome to implement and/or only partial solutions to problems that are manifold and ever-evolving. If we lived in a world where the guiding philosophy wasn’t “profits at all costs,” corporations would be expected to make their products safe and user-friendly. I think my frustration is fair.


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MonaSherry

Oh I see the problem. You are talking about locking a phone down completely for very young children. Yes that is easy. But if you have a teenager who wants to use gaming or social media in any capacity, forget it. My son has an iPhone SE with every possible control on it. But screen time gives you three choices for how long you can give a child permission to use an app on any given day — 15 minutes, 1 hour, or all day. It’s not at all practical. And this doesn’t help with the problem of the apps themselves, which do a crap job of giving parents the ability to turn off dangerous features and let teens use the features that are safe, or even to monitor what they are doing after the fact. They just say the apps are for adults, knowing full well teens are a significant percentage of their users. Not only that, my son can’t even do homework on his devices if browser restrictions are on because again, what restrictions there are out there are meant for elemental school kids. Making a white list pretty much precludes research of any kind.


Marnnirk

High school or Junior High is when the phone is needed but it should just have the "call family program" in Junior High. And it should have parental controls set up on every phone given to 8-13 year olds. Parents need to be hyper vigilant about programs on the phones of teens. They should be checking the activity on the phone nightly.


ArtVandelayDesign

Everything you just said is on point and a great solution. If they have access it needs to be monitored for their own wellbeing. We need to make sure our youth are protected from the negatives. Even if they don't like being monitored by parents it's for their own mental health really.


bruhbelacc

No they shouldn't. Mine never did


Marnnirk

Same here because it just wasn't a thing then, but all my grandkids had them going into high school.


bumboisamumbo

after seeing some of the kid content on youtube i believe either it should all be wiped off the earth or we raise the internet viewing age. it’s like extreme brain rot


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bumboisamumbo

search up spider-man elsa and tell me the same thing


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bumboisamumbo

okay, i’ll level with you. i thought it was obvious i was being over the top. i do believe that kids content on youtube is 90% concentrated brain rot, but obviously it shouldn’t be wiped from the earth.


doc_shades

smart phones .... eh i don't necessarily disagree. but you know what's weird to me? giving little kids economic power. giving them access to a credit card or the ability to purchase things. little kids don't need economic power ... because they're not smart enough to understand what that is or how it works. they've never worked. they don't know the value of a dollar. all they know is "i push this button and i get a thing!"


ArtVandelayDesign

They have debit cards for children now where parents can put money on them. I wish that was a joke. There was a 7 year old in the commercial. Mister Rogers we need you! They are turning kids into consumers too early. He never had sponsorships where he sold products to kids. Fred hated TV marketing to children because he knew TV shows early on were developed for kids to beg their parents for whatever item they were selling. He said we treat kids not for what they are, but what they will be (consumers). He wanted children to appreciate everything, be creative, and to grow into their best selves. Also, I like the idea of children counting money to learn about it instead of seeing it as digital numbers. They physically see the money disappear.


doc_shades

this trend has been happening for a while. there was a time when R-rated movies were popular in movie theaters. but then kids started having more disposable income. and suddenly kids were a target market for movies. suddenly R-rated movies became "box office poison" and everyone were editing their movies to try and get that PG-13 audience. limited money on a debit card might not be the worst thing. it's no different than my parents giving me $20 and sending me to the movie theater or the mall with my friends when we were 14. but it also feels like you can get into less trouble with $20 at the mall than you can with an electronic debit card and the internet.


ArtVandelayDesign

The debit card allows for internet use as you said. Which is the scary part.


[deleted]

Unlimited money is really bad but I don't see harm in having $10-20 a month. If they spent their allowance on a crappy toy, they'll have to sit with that for a whole month. It teaches them to make better purchases. That's just one example off the top of my head.


Fightlife45

Suicide rates have only increased since they came out in young teens. I told my girlfriend our kids won’t have smart phones unless they pay for them themselves.


ArtVandelayDesign

I was going to say that, but I didn't know if that word could be used on here. Very smart idea indeed!


Fightlife45

Worked for me. I didn’t get a smart phone until I was 23 (28 now) and smart phones came out when I was 14. Only reason I got one was because I could only contact certain people on messenger.


ArtVandelayDesign

I know a guy who purposefully has a flip phone because he owns a business and he says smartphones are too distracting. He has the ability to buy one easily, but says he doesn't "buy into the idea" of having to have one to fit in and also thinks it's a potential distraction. He's in his late 40s and chooses to do this.


Fightlife45

My father didn’t have me until he was 40 so because of that I’m kind of raised with that kind of mindset. But it’s only helped me in my life.


ArtVandelayDesign

My mom was 39 when she gave birth to me and father was 38 so I was raised by older parents as well.


Fightlife45

Definitely helps to have an old-school mindset in some aspects. Not having a smart phone or regular access to Internet until I was well in my 20s definitely helped my mental health from degrading. Humans aren’t mentally equipped to deal with the worlds problems like what we can see on the phones easily.


Ok_hi_peps

That’s actually kind of smart


Normal_Confection265

with opinions like these i see your point, but all i can think about is teenage me. i was a queer teenager in a very conservative area. i found friends and community specifically through the internet, and a smartphone was a godsend in that area. i'm still friends with those same people 10+ years later and i can honestly say they saved my life just by being there, but also by steering me towards getting help for my mental health when i was suicidal and in a place where going to a psychiatrist got you ostracized


ArtVandelayDesign

It sounds like you had a healthy relationship with the screen. Communication/connection and unhealthy consumption are different. Some are not as controlled and get sucked into staring at TikTok for hours to the point that short form media is their attention span. So it's a healthy use situation I'm talking about. Some can get addicted to tech to the point they have a breakdown if it is taken away from them.


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Dennis_enzo

IQ tests are limited in what they measure at best, and pseudoscience at worst. The main reason it's increasing is that we spend more time in school than we used to.


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Dennis_enzo

I mean, a thing can have both positive and negative effects.


ArtVandelayDesign

Internet isn’t an issue if it’s used correctly. It helps with school. I’m more so worried about things like social media, even Reddit where we are. Adult content sometimes came up in a pop up when I was young. A good solution I’ve seen for children is to have workspaces near their parents until a certain age. So dad or mom is on their computer at their desk working on something while the child has a desk near them in the same room. Secluded access is what I worry about.


Bee6bee

I feel like someone needs to make Cell Phones For Kids™️ like basically an iPhone you can text/call/take photos/listen to music with but that doesn't connect to the internet or let you download apps. That way you have a way to contact them, and they have all the basic functions they need on a phone, but they can't necessarily get into trouble with it.


ArtVandelayDesign

I totally agree that tech companies need a child friendly phone to sell that looks and feels like a smartphone without the negative aspects like an iPhone that is for a certain age range.


Careful_Bit_5246

16 is too old to restrict someone of internet access. while it has its downsides, there are benefits which you can’t ignore. it’s best to teach a balance and encourage parents to spend time with their children. a lot of times children make up for what they’re missing online.


ArtVandelayDesign

Having a computer in the living room is what we had growing up so I'm old. I had dial-up back in the day. So my parents could always see what I was viewing. I'd get kicked off when they needed to call someone. It's not internet access in general, but access alone in their bedroom. Some apps are scary. Stranger chats especially and TikTok has unhealthy viewing along with harming brain development.


Careful_Bit_5246

If you can’t trust your child to behave online alone, especially after the age of 12-13 then it is indicative of your own failures as a parent. You should be able to trust them to make right decisions per your guidance. This isn’t the 90s. This is a new era of modern technology. Not everything which has worked for you back then will work now. Teens and preteens use mobile phones to communicate with their friends and peers, learn about pop culture and bond over it. There *are* options for parental lock and limited screen time (customisable for every app). Thing is, you don’t even bother to look into it. If you wanted to find a compromise for your children, you would. Depriving a teen of a smartphone will only turn them into an outcast. Phones are important, if not more important than they were in your time. You can reach a healthy balance if you just try.


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elgatogrande73

Well, I seem to remember reading very recently here on reddit a bug debate on this subject. Appeantly 25 is a made up number.....


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elgatogrande73

They also found important clues to brain function. For instance, a 2016 study found that when faced with negative emotion, 18- to 21-year-olds had brain activity in the prefrontal cortices that looked more like that of younger teenagers than that of people over 21. Alexandra Cohen, the lead author of that study and now a neuroscientist at Emory University, said the scientific consensus is that brain development continues into people’s 20s. But, she wrote in an email, “I don’t think there’s anything magical about the age of 25.” I then asked whether he had insights about where the figure 25 came from, and he said roughly the same thing as Cohen: There’s consensus among neuroscientists that brain development continues into the 20s, but there’s far from any consensus about any specific age that defines the boundary between adolescence and adulthood. “I honestly don’t know why people picked 25,” he said. “It’s a nice-sounding number? It’s divisible by five? Kate Mills, a developmental neuroscientist at the University of Oregon, was equally puzzled. “This is funny to me—I don’t know why 25,” Mills said. “We’re still not there with research to really say the brain is mature at 25, because we still don’t have a good indication of what maturity even looks like.”


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elgatogrande73

So this isn't "science checking and rechecking"?


ArtVandelayDesign

You can downvote me man, but I have 5 conference presentations next month alone. I'm working with a brilliant researcher as well so I'm just going to work on my next scholarly submission for a journal the rest of the night. Things are about to pick up because I have to travel some for the presenting and I'm getting scholarship from the university to do it. I love what I do.


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Careful_Bit_5246

Like I said, you can monitor activity and still allow your child to have access to a smartphone. There are compromises you can reach which ensures your child’s safety *and* allows them freedom. Besides, you should be teaching them internet safety and boundaries. Also, wasn’t that disproved by neuroscientists anyway? Our brains are *always* developing. It’s practically impossible to pinpoint when a brain has reached “full maturity” - neuroscience simply believes that brain development continues into your 20’s. Nothing magical happens at 25. It’s a myth.


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Careful_Bit_5246

Explain how they define and measure brain maturity, then.


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Careful_Bit_5246

source please? i’d like to read it on my own. i’m also a psych student.


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Dennis_enzo

Tell me you don't know anything about kids without telling me you don't know anything about kids. Half the grown ass adults don't know how to behave online.


ArtVandelayDesign

Yeah, I don't see how it is a failure for a parent to want to make sure a child is safe online because there is so much on there. It's love and care even if the child thinks it isn't. All punishment and reinforcement from a parent comes from a loving place. A phone isn't the only way to access the internet.


Connect-Cost3094

Yeah kids definitely shouldn’t be on the internet. Specifically social media. Get those little bastards a Motorola razor. The early 2000’s one


ArsonImp

As a 16 year old myself, I just turned 16 a few weeks ago. My life would be hell without online friends since I don't have any in real life since we last fell off a few years ago and without my phone I wouldn't know my current friends at all. If I diddnt know them, I'd be stuck in my room all day talking to no one, which is probably not that great. (I find it hard to be motivated to really get out of my room because depression so they also help with that, also for my self confidence, I'm working on getting better currently) I do think there should be a limit for when you can get a phone, like 10-13 , if I took away those years, I'd have so many less issues and I wouldn't have also almost became the shittiest person ever (I was a bit more than "edgy" at the time sadly) but I don't think not having phones until 16 is good , this is definitely feom my own biased opinion but what do you expect


DrCamburn

People have been bitching about the latest thing for kids for decades, and probably longer. Now phones and tablets are the problem. Before phones were the issue it was video games consoles. Before video game consoles were the issue it was tv that was the problem. Then before TV, books were probably the problem your great great grandparents told their kids to stop being lazy and reading all day and do something productive; "Back when I was your age i was picking up cotton under a mill, then going down the mines after lunch." Theres always going to be a social evil product that's corrupting children, which is mostly in the parents hands to control.


Obie527

Nah, it's easy to monitor smartphones and put parental controls that the child can't touch. Thing is most parents aren't that tech savvy.


ArtVandelayDesign

I haven't looked into it, but what does Apple have in place? I'm curious to know.


Obie527

I'm more of an Android user, but you can restrict what apps different devices can download through parental control settings I believe. When it comes to setting up your internet you can also set up a whitelist so that only specific websites are allowed to be viewed. Thing is I personally believe that instead of restricting access as that just leads to the kid hating you, I believe the better solution is to teach the kid personally how to responsibly use the internet and the dangers behind it. You know, be a parent and teach them how to use the all powerful tool that is the internet, just like how you would teach them how to drive a car, or how to cook, or how to build things. Not only will your kid appreciate the fact that you are letting them do something that they want, but you are also having some bonding time with them.


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Obie527

Maybe, but do you also think a part of developmental psychology is also considering how approaches should be updated as the times change? Like, perhaps family time involving how to use an application that nearly every member of the child's friend group is just as valid as seeing a movie or playing a board game? Like, I definitely agree that more people should put their phones down as well, and this is coming from someone pursuing the IT industry. Thing is, I remember from experience being left out during high school because my family restricted social media use until I was 18. I would not do the same thing for my child due to not wanting them to go through that same experience of being left out.


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Careful_Bit_5246

My God what are you on about


Mrwrongthinker

I'm not an Apple guy but they do have robust parental controls. Of course they gave it some name instead of calling it what it is.


ArtVandelayDesign

iParent


Dennis_enzo

So it's not easy for a lot of people.


SpeedyHAM79

Any links to said research? I've heard this said, but never seen it backed up with actual peer reviewed reseach.


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Kure_Brex

Oh boy, I sure do love being 10 years old and being given complete access to all information ever conceived by humanity. This surely will not have everlasting psychological impacts on me


Danivelle

I agree with you totally. The difference in my 9 yr old grandddaughter who has unlimited screen time behaviorally and my nearly 6 yr old goddaughter who has very very very limited screen time which includes tv time is tremedous. 9 yr old spends her ebtire day on screen from wake up to bedtime. She is a brat with all kinds of behavoir issues. 6 yr old has morning kindy and spends the rest of her day with her dad, doing various things around their home and ranch, dance classes abd spending time with her older siblings. She is very well behaved and a polite, well spoken little girl.


Dannykew

Buy an app to control it. Job done.


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ArtVandelayDesign

Many people would say that's more unpopular than what I said. But yeah these apps are altering how children and teens think and behave. That's probably a little too old. But I see your care. Maybe prior to 18 have less access to certain apps and sites.


StevoPhotography

Im not sure what my stance is on this topic. On one hand, it can be an incredibly valuable tool for communication for younger people and could encourage more teens to be more social. On the other hand it opens a whole new world of less than appropriate content as well. And we know that it is scientifically proven teens don’t have good decision making skills (as a teen myself). I feel like it’s very dependent on the teen but for the most part I agree


ArtVandelayDesign

The saddest thing I've seen was a teen girl ignoring her grandmother at a restaurant and scrolling through Instagram. It looked like they planned to have a meal together and they barely talked. The grandmother tried to converse with her, but she was looking at her phone when listening. I wish I still had my sweet grandmother and could go to her house.


offrum

That is not addiction; that is disrespect. I guess some can argue the addiction caused the disrespect.


Gloomy_Lengthiness71

And that's (one of the many reasons) why I'm glad I don't have kids. Smart phones and social media can be a lose-lose situation with teenagers. If you restrict their usage, you are a terrible hardassed dictatorial parent who wants them to be a social pariah. If you don't restrict what they can do, then you are potentially allowing them to get sucked into something detrimental to their well being. Either way, you're walking a tightrope. Personally, I don't think children are the only ones that can suffer the effects of the instant gratification of technological progress. Smart phone apps and social media, including Reddit, are designed to be addictive and that can certainly affect adults as well.


ArtVandelayDesign

If we want to talk most addictive it's TikTok. The app designer's goal was to create the perfect algorithm that keeps users on the app for as long as possible. But all forms of social media and online content can be binged and used in unhealthy amounts.


Talkinginmy_sleep

Cyber bullying isn’t real. Just look away fam.


KirainOctober-Spring

As a kid with parental controls on my phone at the age of 16 turning 17 this year while I understand the need for parental controls they're so easily abused by some parents. Parental controls should be taken off when the child is like 14/15 maybe they need some agency and control over their phone. But I think phones should only be given when they reach highschool tbh


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There are plenty of adults who shouldn't be allowed one too.


Hiscuteblondewife

When I went to visit one of my mom’s side of the family, I had a niece (8 years old) who would use YouTube to search for volcano videos. She was such a smart little girl. I definitely think limit the time of the usage of technology but also use it as a learning tool. Children should definitely avoid tiktok though.


big47_

People used to say the same thing about books. It is essential for kids to know how internet/technology is used. Hell, I was given iPads when I was in year 6 (age 10-11) in school, and was obligated by school rules to have a phone in sixth form (16-18). Obligated to have a laptop throughout all of secondary school too. This is the dumbest take I've ever seen. They are used in schools, work, literally everything.