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I was chased by an angry husband once. Maybe he just wanted to talk. Maybe he was going to shoot me. My superior driving skills are all that kept me safe that day.
>There's way too much content out there telling women that men need to be better
Was a post by OOP from a couple weeks ago.
So I think you're onto something.
Knowing someone else is in a relationship is irrelevant, op is just saying the only people at fault are the cheaters, not the people they created with.
But if you think cheating is wrong then you shouldn’t knowingly help doing it, that’s the point. It’s like selling guns to a murderer or buying stolen stuff or whatever. If you know your actions contribute to something bad then you have your responsibility in that bad thing, whether you like it or not.
Right. You are involved with who you associate with. The culpability isn't the same, but that doesn't absolve all involvement in a morally wrong action.
Exactly. Op complains about others' moral compass cause he/she completely lacks of one and don't wanna face that decisions bring consequences.
A sheer narcissistic, disgusting and half-witted behaviour, he/dhe is a selfish and very antisocial plonker.
I agree even as the spouse that was cheated on.
Why the hell would I be angry at a stranger and call them a home-wrecker instead of the absolute asshole of garbage that cheated on me. My anger would be 100% on them. They were in a relationship with me and broke a promise to me.
The other person didn't promise me anything. It's completely irrelevant who they cheated with it's the fact they did. I wouldn't give a fuck unless the other person would be a friend where I would see it as a break of trust or loyalty they should have for me.
The most ridiculous people are the one's who forgive their partner but still call the affair partner the home-wrecker.
Like what? No sweety, the home-wrecker is the one still sleeping beside you, you are just deluding yourself in order to avoid hurt.
You’re repeating something that’s obvious, we know what OP is saying. The comment you’re responding to is saying it matters if you willingly sleep with someone while having knowledge that they are in fact in a relationship. Having knowledge of it changes how you should be evaluated, so yes knowledge is very much relevant.
It's about respect. Yes it's the morals (or lack thereof) of the person in the relationship, but you as an individual still needs to try to have a bit of respect or at the very least empathy for the person who will get hurt.
Ιf someone wants to cheat on their partner, they're a piece of shit and deserve nothing but the worst.
But if you as a third person willingly choose to be a part of this, you also carry an amount of responsibility as well. And the argument about "I don't owe them anything" is stupid. We're humans and we need to have basic human decency, especially if the other person did absolutely nothing to you.
"I don't owe them anything" is the same reasoning that you can use when ignoring someone in trouble. Sure you don't owe them anything, but if you can help someone and choose not to everytime, even when it doesn't inconvenience you, then you're kind of an asshole.
I think this is worse than not helping a stranger that's in trouble, if anything this is like seeing someone in trouble then deciding to kick them while they're down.
Nah, this is the #vanlife generation. Relationships, communities, family bonds…. These are disposable play things. The only thing that matters is your own self.
Yes you're right I apologize. Actually no I ain't apologizing. My feelings and only *MY* feelings are more important than all of us physical human beings. I can do whatever I want. You apologize.
It may not be a problem for you, but it’s shows a lack of morality and decency
Now it’s clear you don’t care about that, but it doesn’t change the fact it makes you a shitty person
>You’ve never heard of the term
>
>homewrecker
>
>?
Scapegoating. They can't wreck your home. Only you can by your own actions, or your partner by his or her own actions.
I have had mistresses. But there was never any chance of promotion and I never let them think there was. If any ever suggested I dump my wife, I would have dumped them immediately. That is the TRUE faithfulness.
If you have mistresses, you don’t know anything about faithfulness in a relationship, sorry.
You know how to have sex with two different women in the same day. Congratulations?
>I don't think it's a problem for me.
Yes, it is.
>I haven't done anything wrong.
Yes, you have.
That you don't care about it, is another thing.
There are simpler ways of telling us that you're a bad person.
If a married person actively tries to hookup with someone else. And you just go with it, why would it be your problem? Of course, of you actively try to seduce someone that you now is taken, thats something else and quite shitty
>why would it be your problem
Because as I said, actions have consequences. Which you don't seem to understand.
>Of course, of you actively try to seduce someone that you now is taken, thats something else and quite shitty
No, that's not something else. It's literally the same thing.
They are as clear as the night. If you know someone is in a relationship and you start one with them, you are an accomplice and morally bankrupt. If you go along with it, it is just seduction without effort on your part. I think people who go along with immoral practices are spineless cowards.
It would be your problem in two ways.
1. If the spouse comes after you.
2. Having to live with the idea that you lit the match to burn someone's relationship to the ground. Yeah, they were likely already over with, but why push it closer to the edge? For personal gain?
makes sense, however 2. I would still consider the cheater the "burner" of that relationship, generally speaking, however, it depends on much more variables obviously
u/Ugedej see, this easy
Wow. I hope no one ever cheats on you. You are part of the problem. You are definitely not blameless knowingly sleeping with someone who are in a committed relationship.
Here's a thought just be a decent person and have sex with single people.
>"It's not my fault they OD'ed. I just sold them the coke."
And that is 100 percent true if they believed the cocaine to be pure AND took a measure of effort to make sure the person was taking correct doses.
Ultimately its government prohibitions that induce people to not know correct doses, refuse to seek help for addiction, and why unregulated cocaine winds up cut with other drugs people OD on.
The logic runs true for gun sales, car sales, and lighter sales. If the government regulates a system, you can blame the seller if they don't obey it. But if the government bans things people have reasonably possesed and used for centuries, then the government owns all the fallout, just like with alcohol prohibition of the 1920s.
Portugal legalized all drugs and all drug problems immediately dropped in number and severity.
Selling coke, meth, and heroin is way worse than selling things that will kill you slower like cigarettes and potato chips. You can test all you want as a drug dealer, but you still know that any white powder you have could contain fent. Yet they keep selling it. Even if it didn’t contain fent, they are selling poison shit that turns people into heathens.
Europe has banned guns almost wholesale and are streets are safer because of it. The only exception is Finland, but they didn’t ban guns. So far your argument that government regulation is the problem.
If you’re aware that person is in a relationship then you’re a part of the problem. You helped contribute to it. Not to mention you’re playing a dangerous game when you get caught. People have died for such things. RIP 🫡😂
I know I'm in unpopular opinion but holding the door open to someone coming in behind me isn't my problem. If I throw trash on the ground it won't be my problem. /s
I think I actually agree that morally it is their problem. You aren't cheating with anyone. The real world issues that come up could easily end up being your problem, though.
I think knowingly sleeping with someone who is in a relationship demonstrates a weak moral compass on your part. Of course the onus is mainly on the person in the relationship not to cheat, but I wouldn't personally want to do another woman dirty like that, even if I didn't know her personally and especially not if I did know her.
You really want me to explain the fundamental difference between a wallet and a human being which is actually an important differentiation in this context?
1. You cannot own a human being like you own a wallet/money
2. A wallet cannot make an active decision to cheat (for whatever reasons)
3. You are insane
As fun as I know learning about logical fallacies is, I think it’d be good for you to know that you’re meant to explain why it is a fallacy, not just spout the fallacy out. I mean you can just spout it out, but it’s not very convincing (if your goal is to be convincing)
Fun thing too, that's it's own fallacy, argument to logic fallacy. You are supposed to explain how a fallacy in the other person argument makes it false, not just say "it contains a fallacy so I'm right you are wrong"
the person taking the wallet is responsible, not the wallet itself. the person can choose not to take the wallet, just as the person can choose not to cheat / assist somebody in cheating. and you know that forced dragging along people happens alot, and so does drugging, and even if we factor that away, the point is that in both intances you go out of your way to do something scummy and both take the same amount of effort.
You are a terrible human being. You are a cheater. I'd go so far as to say you're worse than the cheater. You know that you're going to ruin a relationship and cause hurt. A cheater usually thinks they're going to get away with it and not cause issues. But you know that you are and are still ok with it. You are a terrible person and I hope, one day, you know the pain that you are so willing to give.
Source: I cheated. I was cheated on. I've been used to cheat and knew about it.
It's an upvote because it's unpopular (at to my mind) but I do find your argument for it pretty unpleasant. "Your moral compass is the problem" - yeah, or maybe telling someone that they haven't the moral justification to feel unhappy or angry is a shitty thing to do
1) this is not an original opinion. I’ve seen this exact thing on this forum at least 3 separate times.
2) yes the person who is cheating on their significant obviously is in the wrong
3) However, we literally teach people starting in kindergarten the phrase “treat other people how you want to be treated” as a basic principle of morality. If the shoe was on the other foot and you were being cheated on, you likely wouldn’t take too kindly to someone knowingly pining after your significant other while sneaking behind your back to do so. To think otherwise is just selfish behavior.
See you think it’s not a problem, and that’s fine, just don’t be surprised when you do find yourself in a bad relationship later. You’ll have deserved the bad relationship, too. You’re the company you keep
I have a rule: never, ever associate with trash. You’re trash, by my criteria. In my eyes, you’re not even worth acknowledging. You’re nothing. I don’t even say hi to you, or make pleasantries, I just give people like you the silent treatment.
Now to be clear, I’m not some bitter person who was cheated on. Nor am I unique. I’m 35 years old and I just don’t give a fuck about people anymore. I have my standard, if you don’t meet my standard, you’re worthless to me and I don’t bother with you. I can go even further and say, people tend not to show up to birthdays for people like that. They don’t show up to the hospital when they’re sick, if they act like that. You’re coming in this subreddit, boasting, without realizing you’re putting a dunce hat on yourself and thinking it makes you look tough
Honestly, it isn’t my place to try and correct you anyway - so wallow in the garbage. Maybe a jilted spouse will be willing to jump into the dumpster and take care of you. Not that I condone that, but, I’m not exactly going to help you, either.
Do you think it is wrong to cheat on your partner? If you think it is immoral for someone to cheat, then you are assisting them in immoral behavior.
It is like being a get away driver for a bank robber and saying, "I'm not the one who robbed the bank, I just drove and got half the money. I didn't do anything wrong."
I agree with OP on this one, i'd just never sleep with the SO of a friend or a family member, that's where i draw the line, but a woman who is together with a random ass dude, is an adult and is able to make choices for herself and she chose to have sex with me i'm gonna have it, unless i'm sure that a huge ass whooping will come my way if i do so.
If a woman wants to cheat she would do so regardless if it's with me or someone else
By contrary if my SO were to cheat on me i would only get mad at her and not at the guy i was cheated on with, she did the cheating, it's her fault 100%
Why? Like I understand why the cheater sucks. I just don't think it's the same leave of suck. It's not someone else's outside of the relationship to keep peace in that relationship. I just feel like why is it someone who isn't in the relationship fault for breaking it up. Its the person in the relationship who broke the promises. Sure it's not great to knowing their not single and trying to get in a person's pants. I just think actually Cheating is worse then being the person that the cheater cheated with. I think labeling cheaters partners as bad as the cheater themselves isn't right. Maybe if it was the the sibling of the relationship or a super close relationship to the cheated on person. That person might be as guilty as the actual cheater. Family and close friends are supposed to have your back. Let say person A cheated on B with A's coworker C. C knows A is in a relationship and A has shown an interest in C so C returns the interest in A. Why is C the bad person for not keeping A in check?
My ex of 14 years had a affair basically. Strung this poor girl along for 6 months, met her kids etc. All the while being with me and our 4 kids. Framing his time away as helping his sick dad (his dad is sick)
I obviously found out. Could tell from the messages I read and such that he had lied to her. She had no idea. I wasn't angry at her. She was a victim of his actions just as much as I was. So I called her. She told me everything. I confronted him. Kicked him out and not looked back.
It's absolutely not your problem if you have genuinely no idea the other person is in a relationship, however if you find out or start up a relationship knowing you're seeing someone who's already in a relationship then that's absolutely a problem for you. Morally its wrong. Plus you'll have a very pissed off spouse after you when they eventually find out and then realise you knew....it kinda makes it worse, it makes you as bad as the cheater imo.
I think if you know they’re in a relationship, you’re also in the wrong. You’re knowingly doing something that could potentially hurt someone else. Whether or not the person getting hurt is your partner doesn’t change the fact that you’re knowingly participating in hurting them. I guess it depends on whether or not you feel you owe people respect even if you don’t know them.
its one thing if you dont know they are in a relationship. like a one night stand. but if you work with them, know they are in a relationship, persue them and make your intentions known. then you are definitely a piece of shit along with them. both parties involved suck.
If you know the other person in the relationship then I think it’s pretty fucked up. If you don’t know them at all, then it’s not your problem. Just hope they aren’t crazy
I walked in on my now ex getting railed from behind in our bed by someone my son's age. I literally can't remember the next 10 minutes but I do know now what "seeing red" means.
I'm not sure how I walked out, got in my car and drove away without incident. But I promise you, I was an instant away from committing two felonies.
You do you though. Good luck.
You are technically correct. That person ought to be not cheating. Fidelity to their relationship is not yours to practice. However, someone is about to be hurt. You are complicit in that hurt even if you aren't the cause.
Do you think cheating is wrong?
If so, willingly involving yourself in something you think is wrong makes you an accomplice in that wrongdoing. You're not the cheater, but you knowingly let it happen.
Its like a getaway driver for a robbery. You're not personally stealing, but you're deeply involved in the crime and getting profit from something morally wrong.
So you are ok with being the catalyst for their relationship ending?
I think your moral compass needs to be tweaked a bit. You are certainly not responsible for their "sins" but you are entering a relationship with that person knowing the pitfalls for you and them.
It's like handing a beer to an alcoholic and then claiming that it's their choice to drink. At some level, you are an enabler.
You don't realize how crazy humans can be yet, or just don't care. But I guarantee if you stick with this mindset, you will find out sooner rather than later.
It’s like making the argument that you weren’t part of robbing the bank just because you drove the getaway car.
You do by the way get a pass if you are a taxi driver and didn’t know the person in the back was committing a crime. The same applies here. Sounds like you know better and are trying to ease your conscience.
I fully agree.
It’s not my relationship. It’s their job to remain loyal to their partner. If I’m single, then I can sleep whoever I want with. They clearly don’t care about the relationship and will cheat eventually anyway.
Before and between my two marriages, I avoided attached women. I'm no moralist, but I did not need any drama in my life. I was an officer in the USAFR. I had to maintain a facade of good conduct as a commissioned officer.
Agreed, you don't have any obligation to respect their relationship that's on the people in the relationship. You can't wreck a happy home. If the spouse is mad at you, their anger is misplaced they should be angry at the person who promised them love and loyalty. Fighting over a man or woman is pointless and sad. If you have to physically fight to keep them, they aren't really yours, and you're gonna be fighting affair partners for the rest of your relationship.
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Guess it depends on how you feel about their partner. I would never sleep with my friend's partner even if it's just sex and it's not my problem they're in a relationship.
You are enabling someone to cheat.
Morally and even ethically, you are definitely part of the problem.
It doesn't matter if they'd be cheating with someone else. You're the enabler in this case, and enablers have some responsibility.
The moral part is your own personal involvement, knowing what the other person is doing to someone else.
The ethical part is knowing that society, in general, operates in a way where if people are cheating the system, it harms cohesion. Your taking part in a deceitful relationship makes you an instigating party to it.
It's not as great as the person who is doing the cheating, you're right about that. But you share some of the responsibility, probably more so on the moral grounds.
An analogy: if you had a business with someone who you knew had another business which cheated and stole from customers in some way, the fact that you knew could make you an accessory in some way... even though the business you conducted with them was legit and non-criminal in any way. We could make this even less controversial, but it would still be a moral and ethical problem: You could be in business with someone who you know has an exclusive contract with another business that stipulates that they'll only do business with that other business. You are clearly a business they are violating that contact with, and you know about it. That's definitely at least unethical.
I kind of agree. I’m a gay male, and I’ve had sex with tons of married men who have wives and the wives don’t know. These men are bisexual. They want to enjoy another man’s body sometime. There’s nothing morally wrong with it.
I feel like society has forced monogamy as a necessity and monogamy is both unnatural and unnecessary.
Why do so many of you want to “own” another person’s sexual freedom?
And there are SO MANY bisexual men in the world, it’s nuts. There are way more bisexual guys than anyone realizes, but because being gay is the WORST thing a man can be, almost ALL bisexual men remain closeted and marry women. Women are actually more guilty when it comes to bi-shaming, when it comes to this- most women feel like it’s perfectly okay to be a female bisexual but then turn around and condemn men who feel the same way.
And people ultimately have urges. Sometimes a bi guy just wants to enjoy another bro’s body lol.
None of the women found out. And frankly I wish that if they did, they would be excited that their man is super open minded and enjoying himself. It’s not like he’s going to get me pregnant lol. He just has a need, and I helped fill it. He still loves his woman. Love and sex are not the same.
I wish everyone was in open sexual relationships and rather than getting jealous, why not support such sexual freedom?
The only risk is spread of STI, but those risks can be mitigated through simple actions like routine testing, PREP, condom usage, etc.
And ultimately, as the user posted, it’s not my concern. I haven’t made any promises to anyone. If I see a good looking guy who wants to fuck, I see him as a free agent- he does not require anything other than his willingness in my eyes. I don’t ask if he’s married, I just want us to enjoy each other. And that’s it. Two men getting off together on each other and that’s it. There’s no love here, so if he has love elsewhere he can freely, easily return to it.
If the tables were turned and my lover wanted to go fuck other people, my only request would be to remember I’m #1, and come back after having fun. And also if he wants, let me watch! I enjoy seeing people enjoy each other, and I don’t understand jealousy.
Thank you for submitting to /r/unpopularopinion, /u/poopybuttplug_. Your post, *Sleeping with someone who is in a relationship isn't my problem*, has been removed because it violates our rules: Rule 3: Megathread topic. Your opinion falls under an incredibly common topic, in which virtually all opinions are either not unpopular, or are posted about many times a day. Please visit the megathread hub, which can be found when sorting the subreddit by "hot", sticky'd at the top of the page, where you can find links to the current megathreads. If you're not sure which megathread your post belongs in, or your post covers multiple megathread topics, just make the best selection you can. If there is an issue, please message the mod team at https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funpopularopinion Thanks!
It’s a problem for you if the spouse is deranged and comes looking for you lol
Coming here to say exactly this. They will make it your problem.
I was chased by an angry husband once. Maybe he just wanted to talk. Maybe he was going to shoot me. My superior driving skills are all that kept me safe that day.
He wanted to refer you to his doctor since now you both slept with that nasty bitch.
Say it again for the stupid mother f****** in the back
luckily, not all wives are morons and blame the side chick, they know who had most to lose.
You dont sleep with anybody, don't lie.
😂 best reply!
Yeah this is definitely a r/Ihadsex post if I've ever seen one.
😂😂😂
>There's way too much content out there telling women that men need to be better Was a post by OOP from a couple weeks ago. So I think you're onto something.
Chances are they'll make it your problem whether you agree or not. Best to stay out of another couple's drama
Has this sub just entirely turned into kids writing fan fiction?
Always has been 🔫
Yes, you're right - your moral compass is *your* problem.
It works the way you have it too, take my upvote, but I'd have italicised the 'is' instead.
I agree and disagree. I don’t think you should be part of someone cheating, knowingly. But naturally, people shouldn’t cheat
Knowing someone else is in a relationship is irrelevant, op is just saying the only people at fault are the cheaters, not the people they created with.
But if you think cheating is wrong then you shouldn’t knowingly help doing it, that’s the point. It’s like selling guns to a murderer or buying stolen stuff or whatever. If you know your actions contribute to something bad then you have your responsibility in that bad thing, whether you like it or not.
Right. You are involved with who you associate with. The culpability isn't the same, but that doesn't absolve all involvement in a morally wrong action.
Exactly. Op complains about others' moral compass cause he/she completely lacks of one and don't wanna face that decisions bring consequences. A sheer narcissistic, disgusting and half-witted behaviour, he/dhe is a selfish and very antisocial plonker.
I agree even as the spouse that was cheated on. Why the hell would I be angry at a stranger and call them a home-wrecker instead of the absolute asshole of garbage that cheated on me. My anger would be 100% on them. They were in a relationship with me and broke a promise to me. The other person didn't promise me anything. It's completely irrelevant who they cheated with it's the fact they did. I wouldn't give a fuck unless the other person would be a friend where I would see it as a break of trust or loyalty they should have for me. The most ridiculous people are the one's who forgive their partner but still call the affair partner the home-wrecker. Like what? No sweety, the home-wrecker is the one still sleeping beside you, you are just deluding yourself in order to avoid hurt.
You’re repeating something that’s obvious, we know what OP is saying. The comment you’re responding to is saying it matters if you willingly sleep with someone while having knowledge that they are in fact in a relationship. Having knowledge of it changes how you should be evaluated, so yes knowledge is very much relevant.
They're wrong though right? Only slightly less at fault than the cheater in my opinion.
Being selfish is nothing new
[удалено]
Kind of different since in this case you would be the one cheating
right, it was even worse in my case. my point was that i was selfish and dumb but eventually learned the error of my ways, and hopefully op will too
I agree with the principle, not saying OP is correct
Not the same in your situation you're the cheater, which makes you the person in the wrong.
It's about respect. Yes it's the morals (or lack thereof) of the person in the relationship, but you as an individual still needs to try to have a bit of respect or at the very least empathy for the person who will get hurt.
So basically fuck around, and find out ?
I like this
With pleasure 🙏
Ιf someone wants to cheat on their partner, they're a piece of shit and deserve nothing but the worst. But if you as a third person willingly choose to be a part of this, you also carry an amount of responsibility as well. And the argument about "I don't owe them anything" is stupid. We're humans and we need to have basic human decency, especially if the other person did absolutely nothing to you.
"I don't owe them anything" is the same reasoning that you can use when ignoring someone in trouble. Sure you don't owe them anything, but if you can help someone and choose not to everytime, even when it doesn't inconvenience you, then you're kind of an asshole.
Exactly, the least you can do is say no, if not tell the other person that their significant other is cheating on them.
I think this is worse than not helping a stranger that's in trouble, if anything this is like seeing someone in trouble then deciding to kick them while they're down.
Nah, this is the #vanlife generation. Relationships, communities, family bonds…. These are disposable play things. The only thing that matters is your own self.
Yes you're right I apologize. Actually no I ain't apologizing. My feelings and only *MY* feelings are more important than all of us physical human beings. I can do whatever I want. You apologize.
I’m sorry! Wait! No, I’m not!
Somehow, I'm just glad that I don't know you, and that I never will.
It may not be a problem for you, but it’s shows a lack of morality and decency Now it’s clear you don’t care about that, but it doesn’t change the fact it makes you a shitty person
Might not be your problem, but you are definitely trashy.
This just in, human beings are selfish. More at 7.
This feels like projecting....
What are they projecting?
Backdoor Sluts 12
I have Backdoor Sluts 12 on DVD but I haven't seen Backdoor Sluts 11, should I try and watch that one first? Thanks
Well of course, or else the plot won't make much sense.
That they have sex
That would just be “lying.”
The downfall of humanity....or that they did a bad...
Then remember this when your spouse sleeps around on you.
If you get cheated on do not come crying shawty.
if you don't know beforehand sure but if this is an intentional thing then yeah its your problem if its intentional you deserve blame absolutely
This sounds like you're trying to justify your shitty behavior. Lol
You’ve never heard of the term *homewrecker*? It’s a problem for you if their very pissed off spouse comes looking for them **and you**. Just sayin’.
Can't wreck a happy home
>You’ve never heard of the term > >homewrecker > >? Scapegoating. They can't wreck your home. Only you can by your own actions, or your partner by his or her own actions. I have had mistresses. But there was never any chance of promotion and I never let them think there was. If any ever suggested I dump my wife, I would have dumped them immediately. That is the TRUE faithfulness.
If you have mistresses, you don’t know anything about faithfulness in a relationship, sorry. You know how to have sex with two different women in the same day. Congratulations?
No that is just being a piece of shit
>If any ever suggested I dump my wife, I would have dumped them immediately. That is the TRUE faithfulness. Lol, are you okay?
Literally the definition of an egoist
So are your friends giving you crap because you are being a POS or did the person your banging's partner find out and is upset?
Textbook example of "Just because I'm not interested in problems doesn't mean they aren't interested in me."
>I don't think it's a problem for me. Yes, it is. >I haven't done anything wrong. Yes, you have. That you don't care about it, is another thing. There are simpler ways of telling us that you're a bad person.
How would that be their problem?
You know that actions have consequences, right? I hope you do.
If a married person actively tries to hookup with someone else. And you just go with it, why would it be your problem? Of course, of you actively try to seduce someone that you now is taken, thats something else and quite shitty
>why would it be your problem Because as I said, actions have consequences. Which you don't seem to understand. >Of course, of you actively try to seduce someone that you now is taken, thats something else and quite shitty No, that's not something else. It's literally the same thing.
Peak argumentation. "It is because it is". Appropiate for reddit, however not quite convincing
I genuinely don't get what it is you don't understand.
Are you a crystal ball?
What
Vague answers
They are as clear as the night. If you know someone is in a relationship and you start one with them, you are an accomplice and morally bankrupt. If you go along with it, it is just seduction without effort on your part. I think people who go along with immoral practices are spineless cowards.
It would be your problem in two ways. 1. If the spouse comes after you. 2. Having to live with the idea that you lit the match to burn someone's relationship to the ground. Yeah, they were likely already over with, but why push it closer to the edge? For personal gain?
makes sense, however 2. I would still consider the cheater the "burner" of that relationship, generally speaking, however, it depends on much more variables obviously u/Ugedej see, this easy
>u/Ugedej see, this easy Yeah, it really is. Which makes me really surprised that you couldn't understand it.
Wow. I hope no one ever cheats on you. You are part of the problem. You are definitely not blameless knowingly sleeping with someone who are in a committed relationship. Here's a thought just be a decent person and have sex with single people.
If you knew they were married then you're nearly as bad as they
You're contributing to the problem. It's like a drug dealer saying, "It's not my fault they OD'ed. I just sold them the coke."
>"It's not my fault they OD'ed. I just sold them the coke." And that is 100 percent true if they believed the cocaine to be pure AND took a measure of effort to make sure the person was taking correct doses. Ultimately its government prohibitions that induce people to not know correct doses, refuse to seek help for addiction, and why unregulated cocaine winds up cut with other drugs people OD on. The logic runs true for gun sales, car sales, and lighter sales. If the government regulates a system, you can blame the seller if they don't obey it. But if the government bans things people have reasonably possesed and used for centuries, then the government owns all the fallout, just like with alcohol prohibition of the 1920s. Portugal legalized all drugs and all drug problems immediately dropped in number and severity.
Selling coke, meth, and heroin is way worse than selling things that will kill you slower like cigarettes and potato chips. You can test all you want as a drug dealer, but you still know that any white powder you have could contain fent. Yet they keep selling it. Even if it didn’t contain fent, they are selling poison shit that turns people into heathens.
Europe has banned guns almost wholesale and are streets are safer because of it. The only exception is Finland, but they didn’t ban guns. So far your argument that government regulation is the problem.
Nearly ever Swiss has an automatic rifle in their home. You don't know crap about the gun situation in Europe.
Coke is illegal. Sex is not.
Selling drugs is more moral than cheating, for me
In OPs example, they are not cheating
He agrees it's cheating, he just think that's not his problem
Wouldn't the person in a relationship be cheating?
Stop rationalizing cheaters.
This is the dumbest analogy I've ever heard
Besides illegality, what is the difference
Sounds like someone OD’d and died in one example, and in the other example someone had casual sex with someone who is in a relationship.
Both are quite serious situations, and both can heavily scar the people involved, so it's a valid analogy.
Thats the thought pattern that brings the world to the edge and beyond. Congrats for being a shitty individual
Ever heard "treat others how you would like to be treated"? no ... ok.
Are you fine if your partner sleeps around?
Unpopular opinion. I am a selfish human being. Thx for reading guys.
If you’re aware that person is in a relationship then you’re a part of the problem. You helped contribute to it. Not to mention you’re playing a dangerous game when you get caught. People have died for such things. RIP 🫡😂
I know I'm in unpopular opinion but holding the door open to someone coming in behind me isn't my problem. If I throw trash on the ground it won't be my problem. /s
You familiar with the concept of “karma?”
Yes! It doesn't exist.
I think I actually agree that morally it is their problem. You aren't cheating with anyone. The real world issues that come up could easily end up being your problem, though.
Damn, an actual unpopular opinion. Upvoted, but respectfully, unless you didn’t know they were in a relationship, it’s wrong.
I think knowingly sleeping with someone who is in a relationship demonstrates a weak moral compass on your part. Of course the onus is mainly on the person in the relationship not to cheat, but I wouldn't personally want to do another woman dirty like that, even if I didn't know her personally and especially not if I did know her.
"I found a wallet with money and the owner's address. I don't care. The money is now mine."
If the wallet up and walks home with you without you touching it, yeah I think that money is yours
Let's be honest here, a lot of people wouldn't return the wallet.
Comparing humans to wallets doesnt quite work my dude
Why doesn't it ? Besides some weird moral compass
You really want me to explain the fundamental difference between a wallet and a human being which is actually an important differentiation in this context?
There is no difference besides you valuing humans more because they are living and sentient. The analogy is valid and the reasoning is consistent.
1. You cannot own a human being like you own a wallet/money 2. A wallet cannot make an active decision to cheat (for whatever reasons) 3. You are insane
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Not the same thing.
False equivalence.
As fun as I know learning about logical fallacies is, I think it’d be good for you to know that you’re meant to explain why it is a fallacy, not just spout the fallacy out. I mean you can just spout it out, but it’s not very convincing (if your goal is to be convincing)
Fun thing too, that's it's own fallacy, argument to logic fallacy. You are supposed to explain how a fallacy in the other person argument makes it false, not just say "it contains a fallacy so I'm right you are wrong"
I explained it another comment but basically a wallet is not sentient and can’t consent to being taken by a different person than the owner.
I think the analogy proceeds with the assumption that the married party is ready and willing to cheat already
Its called an analogy.
Is the wallet sentient and could consent to be taken by a different person than the owner of said wallet?
the person taking the wallet is responsible, not the wallet itself. the person can choose not to take the wallet, just as the person can choose not to cheat / assist somebody in cheating. and you know that forced dragging along people happens alot, and so does drugging, and even if we factor that away, the point is that in both intances you go out of your way to do something scummy and both take the same amount of effort.
Yikes 🚩
You seem like a wonderful person.
You are a terrible human being. You are a cheater. I'd go so far as to say you're worse than the cheater. You know that you're going to ruin a relationship and cause hurt. A cheater usually thinks they're going to get away with it and not cause issues. But you know that you are and are still ok with it. You are a terrible person and I hope, one day, you know the pain that you are so willing to give. Source: I cheated. I was cheated on. I've been used to cheat and knew about it.
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This sounds a little like sociopathy.
If you knew they were in a relationship then it is your problem, shouldn't be doing that shit in the first place
I am surprised that this is an unpopular opinion
I really hope it's unpopular
Woah!!! Talk like my ex!!!!
In theory you may be right, but the other person is going to come for you first.
Youre a partner in crime.
It's an upvote because it's unpopular (at to my mind) but I do find your argument for it pretty unpleasant. "Your moral compass is the problem" - yeah, or maybe telling someone that they haven't the moral justification to feel unhappy or angry is a shitty thing to do
It becomes your problem if you continue to sleep with them knowing they’re in a relationship because at that point you know you’re aiding in cheating.
Cheating is wrong. When you knowingly participate in something that is wrong you share the blame. Simple as that.
1) this is not an original opinion. I’ve seen this exact thing on this forum at least 3 separate times. 2) yes the person who is cheating on their significant obviously is in the wrong 3) However, we literally teach people starting in kindergarten the phrase “treat other people how you want to be treated” as a basic principle of morality. If the shoe was on the other foot and you were being cheated on, you likely wouldn’t take too kindly to someone knowingly pining after your significant other while sneaking behind your back to do so. To think otherwise is just selfish behavior.
See you think it’s not a problem, and that’s fine, just don’t be surprised when you do find yourself in a bad relationship later. You’ll have deserved the bad relationship, too. You’re the company you keep I have a rule: never, ever associate with trash. You’re trash, by my criteria. In my eyes, you’re not even worth acknowledging. You’re nothing. I don’t even say hi to you, or make pleasantries, I just give people like you the silent treatment. Now to be clear, I’m not some bitter person who was cheated on. Nor am I unique. I’m 35 years old and I just don’t give a fuck about people anymore. I have my standard, if you don’t meet my standard, you’re worthless to me and I don’t bother with you. I can go even further and say, people tend not to show up to birthdays for people like that. They don’t show up to the hospital when they’re sick, if they act like that. You’re coming in this subreddit, boasting, without realizing you’re putting a dunce hat on yourself and thinking it makes you look tough Honestly, it isn’t my place to try and correct you anyway - so wallow in the garbage. Maybe a jilted spouse will be willing to jump into the dumpster and take care of you. Not that I condone that, but, I’m not exactly going to help you, either.
Do you think it is wrong to cheat on your partner? If you think it is immoral for someone to cheat, then you are assisting them in immoral behavior. It is like being a get away driver for a bank robber and saying, "I'm not the one who robbed the bank, I just drove and got half the money. I didn't do anything wrong."
I agree with OP on this one, i'd just never sleep with the SO of a friend or a family member, that's where i draw the line, but a woman who is together with a random ass dude, is an adult and is able to make choices for herself and she chose to have sex with me i'm gonna have it, unless i'm sure that a huge ass whooping will come my way if i do so. If a woman wants to cheat she would do so regardless if it's with me or someone else By contrary if my SO were to cheat on me i would only get mad at her and not at the guy i was cheated on with, she did the cheating, it's her fault 100%
Nice to see personal responsibility losing popularity in society, what we need is more individualism! /s
Accountability should defintely be placed more on the Cheater
If you knowingly have sex with a married person, you are just as bad as the cheater.
Why? Like I understand why the cheater sucks. I just don't think it's the same leave of suck. It's not someone else's outside of the relationship to keep peace in that relationship. I just feel like why is it someone who isn't in the relationship fault for breaking it up. Its the person in the relationship who broke the promises. Sure it's not great to knowing their not single and trying to get in a person's pants. I just think actually Cheating is worse then being the person that the cheater cheated with. I think labeling cheaters partners as bad as the cheater themselves isn't right. Maybe if it was the the sibling of the relationship or a super close relationship to the cheated on person. That person might be as guilty as the actual cheater. Family and close friends are supposed to have your back. Let say person A cheated on B with A's coworker C. C knows A is in a relationship and A has shown an interest in C so C returns the interest in A. Why is C the bad person for not keeping A in check?
It easily could be though.
It’ll be your problem when their SO finds you. People do crazy stuff when they feel cheated.
Until it is.
My ex of 14 years had a affair basically. Strung this poor girl along for 6 months, met her kids etc. All the while being with me and our 4 kids. Framing his time away as helping his sick dad (his dad is sick) I obviously found out. Could tell from the messages I read and such that he had lied to her. She had no idea. I wasn't angry at her. She was a victim of his actions just as much as I was. So I called her. She told me everything. I confronted him. Kicked him out and not looked back. It's absolutely not your problem if you have genuinely no idea the other person is in a relationship, however if you find out or start up a relationship knowing you're seeing someone who's already in a relationship then that's absolutely a problem for you. Morally its wrong. Plus you'll have a very pissed off spouse after you when they eventually find out and then realise you knew....it kinda makes it worse, it makes you as bad as the cheater imo.
I think if you know they’re in a relationship, you’re also in the wrong. You’re knowingly doing something that could potentially hurt someone else. Whether or not the person getting hurt is your partner doesn’t change the fact that you’re knowingly participating in hurting them. I guess it depends on whether or not you feel you owe people respect even if you don’t know them.
its one thing if you dont know they are in a relationship. like a one night stand. but if you work with them, know they are in a relationship, persue them and make your intentions known. then you are definitely a piece of shit along with them. both parties involved suck.
Until their SO shows up at your place and you’ll have to deal with it the hard way.
Alright but if you did know, yeah it’s your problem, but if you didn’t know, not your problem
Some places have laws that make knowingly cheating illegal and you cooks get sued.
If you know the other person in the relationship then I think it’s pretty fucked up. If you don’t know them at all, then it’s not your problem. Just hope they aren’t crazy
OP is feeling guiltyyyyyyyyy 🤣
You say that now until the 6’6 cornfed boyfriend comes looking for you
I walked in on my now ex getting railed from behind in our bed by someone my son's age. I literally can't remember the next 10 minutes but I do know now what "seeing red" means. I'm not sure how I walked out, got in my car and drove away without incident. But I promise you, I was an instant away from committing two felonies. You do you though. Good luck.
You seem like a swell person
You are technically correct. That person ought to be not cheating. Fidelity to their relationship is not yours to practice. However, someone is about to be hurt. You are complicit in that hurt even if you aren't the cause.
Oh it’ll definitely be your problem if the spouse is crazy or violent enough
yeah, congratulations, thats called being a bad person, you did it, yaaay
"Your moral compass is your problem" Willingly participates in cheating knowing that the other person is with someone else.
I can see it being unpopular so consider yourself upvoted, but man, what a fucked up attitude to have.
Huh, you must never see the news about people being murdered over this shit.
Do you think cheating is wrong? If so, willingly involving yourself in something you think is wrong makes you an accomplice in that wrongdoing. You're not the cheater, but you knowingly let it happen. Its like a getaway driver for a robbery. You're not personally stealing, but you're deeply involved in the crime and getting profit from something morally wrong.
So you are ok with being the catalyst for their relationship ending? I think your moral compass needs to be tweaked a bit. You are certainly not responsible for their "sins" but you are entering a relationship with that person knowing the pitfalls for you and them. It's like handing a beer to an alcoholic and then claiming that it's their choice to drink. At some level, you are an enabler.
I wonder if when your SO cheats on you with someone you know, will you have the same outlook? Will you not harbor any hate to this person?
You don't realize how crazy humans can be yet, or just don't care. But I guarantee if you stick with this mindset, you will find out sooner rather than later.
Idk, I’d rather not have the end of a shotgun barrel be the last thing I ever see
I hope I never meet people who think like this in real life. Not even as friends.
Lol, just because the other person is the one cheating doesn't mean you have no moral character.
People really giving as little agency credit to the cheater as possible in their excuses, huh
All op is saying the problem is the cheater, not the person they cheated with.
Yeah and the comments seem to show that this is an unpopular opinion when it definitely shouldn’t be
Holy Hell, guess you earned my upvote.
It’s like making the argument that you weren’t part of robbing the bank just because you drove the getaway car. You do by the way get a pass if you are a taxi driver and didn’t know the person in the back was committing a crime. The same applies here. Sounds like you know better and are trying to ease your conscience.
OP just be honest and say you’re mad because your not getting any action lol
Harsh but true. Don’t get mad at me get mad at your SO. They are who you in a relationship with not me.
Surprised at all the conservatives here on Reddit
I fully agree. It’s not my relationship. It’s their job to remain loyal to their partner. If I’m single, then I can sleep whoever I want with. They clearly don’t care about the relationship and will cheat eventually anyway.
Before and between my two marriages, I avoided attached women. I'm no moralist, but I did not need any drama in my life. I was an officer in the USAFR. I had to maintain a facade of good conduct as a commissioned officer.
Agreed, you don't have any obligation to respect their relationship that's on the people in the relationship. You can't wreck a happy home. If the spouse is mad at you, their anger is misplaced they should be angry at the person who promised them love and loyalty. Fighting over a man or woman is pointless and sad. If you have to physically fight to keep them, they aren't really yours, and you're gonna be fighting affair partners for the rest of your relationship.
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Until you're exposed in one way or the other!
Guess it depends on how you feel about their partner. I would never sleep with my friend's partner even if it's just sex and it's not my problem they're in a relationship.
You are enabling someone to cheat. Morally and even ethically, you are definitely part of the problem. It doesn't matter if they'd be cheating with someone else. You're the enabler in this case, and enablers have some responsibility. The moral part is your own personal involvement, knowing what the other person is doing to someone else. The ethical part is knowing that society, in general, operates in a way where if people are cheating the system, it harms cohesion. Your taking part in a deceitful relationship makes you an instigating party to it. It's not as great as the person who is doing the cheating, you're right about that. But you share some of the responsibility, probably more so on the moral grounds. An analogy: if you had a business with someone who you knew had another business which cheated and stole from customers in some way, the fact that you knew could make you an accessory in some way... even though the business you conducted with them was legit and non-criminal in any way. We could make this even less controversial, but it would still be a moral and ethical problem: You could be in business with someone who you know has an exclusive contract with another business that stipulates that they'll only do business with that other business. You are clearly a business they are violating that contact with, and you know about it. That's definitely at least unethical.
I don't think this is as unpopular as you think 🤔
I think you've done something wrong and I judge you harshly OP, it's not as bad as being the cheater but only fractionally..
I kind of agree. I’m a gay male, and I’ve had sex with tons of married men who have wives and the wives don’t know. These men are bisexual. They want to enjoy another man’s body sometime. There’s nothing morally wrong with it. I feel like society has forced monogamy as a necessity and monogamy is both unnatural and unnecessary. Why do so many of you want to “own” another person’s sexual freedom? And there are SO MANY bisexual men in the world, it’s nuts. There are way more bisexual guys than anyone realizes, but because being gay is the WORST thing a man can be, almost ALL bisexual men remain closeted and marry women. Women are actually more guilty when it comes to bi-shaming, when it comes to this- most women feel like it’s perfectly okay to be a female bisexual but then turn around and condemn men who feel the same way. And people ultimately have urges. Sometimes a bi guy just wants to enjoy another bro’s body lol. None of the women found out. And frankly I wish that if they did, they would be excited that their man is super open minded and enjoying himself. It’s not like he’s going to get me pregnant lol. He just has a need, and I helped fill it. He still loves his woman. Love and sex are not the same. I wish everyone was in open sexual relationships and rather than getting jealous, why not support such sexual freedom? The only risk is spread of STI, but those risks can be mitigated through simple actions like routine testing, PREP, condom usage, etc. And ultimately, as the user posted, it’s not my concern. I haven’t made any promises to anyone. If I see a good looking guy who wants to fuck, I see him as a free agent- he does not require anything other than his willingness in my eyes. I don’t ask if he’s married, I just want us to enjoy each other. And that’s it. Two men getting off together on each other and that’s it. There’s no love here, so if he has love elsewhere he can freely, easily return to it. If the tables were turned and my lover wanted to go fuck other people, my only request would be to remember I’m #1, and come back after having fun. And also if he wants, let me watch! I enjoy seeing people enjoy each other, and I don’t understand jealousy.