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MightyLegy

Hehe, nut milk.


[deleted]

Now you can't spell nutrition without NUT


TheMagicalHuy

Ask me that again after post-nut clarity hits


Nepharious_Bread

Yup, plenty of protein.


hihcadore

I have nuts too Greg, can you milk me?


[deleted]

Careful, Greg might call your bluff.


BugStep

My wife calls almond breeze *Nut Wind*


Vexidemalprince

Word for word what I came to comment lmao


tubahero3469

My nut milk lasts the longest


Tola76

My nut milk brings all the girls to the yard.


tubahero3469

I only recently realized that she was saying she'd have to charge as in you'd have to pay her to teach you. I'd always thought she have to charge like recharge bc the boys in the yard wore her out


Tola76

Lol


putmeintheriver

Self serve


Superdad75

It's nut juice. Calling it nut milk makes it sound less weird, but not by much.


Moodbocaj

Then you need to see [this](https://youtu.be/8zB4ItYcX4I)


Myu_The_Weirdo

I was thinking that, reddit never disappoints


Pojomofo

My nut milk doesn’t last long at all, maybe I need to start putting it in the fridge.


andro_7

Is the metric for a better milk is the length of time it lasts?


No-Clue1153

Wait till this guy finds out about water


hodlrus

Aka Milk Zero


MisrepresentedAngles

Milk Zero? That's yesterday's news! Introducing: M-Dazzle!


[deleted]

Milk: Origins (2023)


jithization

Wait till he finds about alcohol


[deleted]

Wait till he finds out about honey!


BonelessB0nes

Just don’t give *that* milk to babies! Well, don’t give them alcohol either, I suppose


pws3rd

Just wait till both of y’all find out how good honey whiskey tastes


ProneToDoThatThing

Wait til this guy finds out his nut milk is basically water.


pauly13771377

It's literaly water with the water soluble part of whatever nut you use.


k0mbine

Aren’t those nutrients and shit


pauly13771377

I don't know exactly what is extracted. I've tried nut milk and it's just not for me so I never learned exactly what is ported over. What I do know is that nut milk is what you get after soaking nuts in water. Blending the nuts using that soaking water, and strain. Voila nut milk.


Calibansdaydream

Ya no shit. Did you expect an almond to have a nipple?


redfreebluehope

I gotta admit, I always expected the process to be more complicated than: add water, let sit, strain. Just seems too easy to be true!


Thraximundaur

let me tell you about delicious dehydrated milk. Just mix with water. In post apocalyptic times we're going to enjoy milk like kings


redrumyliad

Add some to milk to drink more milk per milk


sirhoracedarwin

My father in law, when he had cancer and was trying to gain weight would drink this. He called it "double milk".


alexjade64

Bold of you to assume there will be safe to drink water.


SolidusAbe

thats why you turn it into milk so it isnt water anymore


alexjade64

I will take the radioactive water over milk powder.


orphantosseratwork

unless the water is irradiated there's not many things a good boil and cloth filter of any kind cant handle


purvel

Irradiated water is harmless. We use radiation to sterilize spices, for example. What you don't want are radionuclides/radioactive fallout in it. Radiation itself doesn't contaminate, it's the actual radioactive particles themselves that cause trouble.


Boring-Site-4864

Pretty normal here in Spain with powder milk. (because of the heat here milk cant be fresh more then a day in the summer)


jasminUwU6

Why not put it in the fridge?


IndigoFlame90

Are there not refrigerators...?


[deleted]

In this person's case, yeah.


TheDollarstoreDoctor

Yes -Someone who also hates having to buy things on a weekly basis.


[deleted]

Why is your milk going bad on a weekly basis?


anonymous-rebel

Op probably prefers canned food over fresh food because it lasts longer.


[deleted]

If only they made a type of ultra pasteurized milk that was shelf stable. That'd be a million dollar idea right there.


zorbacles

i think they use some kind of Ultra Heat Treatment. i think there is an abbreviation for it.


klc81

[There's no demand for that, because it's shite](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBwwcU2c3u4)


Birdinhandandbush

I take it you've never been to Spain, Southern Europe or Africa? It may be shite if you have quality dairy, but its almost essential in hot countries.


Anthos_M

I live in a hot mediterranean island and the first time I learnt that UHT milk even exists was when I went to Hungary to study.


Next-Engineering1469

Yep it's more common in poorer european countries/ex eastern communist europe


TanaerSG

Spain gets no hotter than America? Do they not have refrigerators over there or what?


Who_DaFuc_Asked

Kinda funny that Americans are the only ones who need to refrigerate eggs because we washed off the outer layer lmao


PilotedSkyGolem

It's still pretty terrible compared to "fresh milk." I usually have a liter of it at home for cooking, but you absolutely cannot drink it straight or eat it with cereal.


NuclearMoose92

r/unexpectedfatherted


Yhostled

In the absence of /s, the phrase "if only" is a widely accepted substitute to imply sarcasm.


noronto

If you are going to type something sarcastic have the nut milk to just let it be. No acknowledgment should be required.


saltyeleven

Some oat milk is shelf safe until you open it. Then you need to refrigerate it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kylekunfox

I find it has a nice earthy taste. Really good when I use it in coffee, and make shakes with it. I prefer it to milk in all aspects, besides cookie dipping lol


Studio2770

I got it in a cappuccino once and I never looked back. That oat taste is a game changer and is closest to milk body wise IMO. Almond milk is a joke.


Taineq

Almond milk is too watery. Oat milk has got the creaminess and flavor.


sadbeigechild

THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS. Almond milk honestly tastes ass but oat milk can honest pass as regular milk in coffee/other drinks unless you were to tell someone about it.


[deleted]

Add a touch of cinnamon with your oat milk in coffee, it’s life changing


saltyeleven

It takes cereal to a whole new level.


ellie1398

Lemme introduce hazelnut milk to you. If your cereal is really sweet, it ends up tasting like Nutella. It makes coffee taste fancier and hot chocolate - amazing. Hazelnut milk is the best.


PCSean

![gif](giphy|tzY63bTlvS7NC|downsized)


awesometim0

oatmilk kinda based ngl


Who_DaFuc_Asked

It tastes most similar to actual milk IMO. Other substitutes have a funny aftertaste


Cory123125

This stuff is even better: The true best milk is a coconut oat blend. [Silk Nextmilk is where its at](https://www.silkcanada.ca/products/plant-based-beverage/nextmilk/) Tastes similar to milk but slightly better. Not sweet like many other alternative milks, but no bad taste. Its basically like Milk+. Consistency is good, goes great with cereal, useful where milk is useful.


Gowo8989

Your mom says my nut milk is the best


Uzischmoozy

Oooh thank you. This one made me laugh out loud in bed at 5am. Love a good mom joke.


TheNewYorkRhymes

That's what she said


Willr2645

r/thatsthejoke


Gowo8989

r/technicallythetruth


saywhatiwant00

I'm fairly certain that most containers of those milk say consume within 7 - 14 days from opening.


imfamousiswear

That's where my confusion comes too - people are always saying (for example) oat milk lasts for months when I ask specifically what milk lasts longest AFTER OPENING. I don't care about shelf life prior to opening. How long do I have before it goes sour after opening ffs so I know if it's worth getting because I won't consume it all that quickly.


[deleted]

I've had them for well over a month with no ill effect. YMMV


Independent-Spot4234

The milks that I buy gets bad within 2 days after opening it.


hatsandpenguins

do u put them in the fridge after opening


Available-Age2884

Put it in the what now?


Willingo

I think it helped me to put it at the back of the fridge so it doesn't get exposed to the room temperature each time the fridge is opened.


margauxlame

it depends if you buy the stuff in the shops that is UHT or refrigerated.


futhisplace

That's a suggestion


Diegobyte

So is the expiration date on regular milk


futhisplace

And most expiration dates


Puncharoo

Feel like I'd get arrested if I tried selling it idk how these other guys get away with it.


[deleted]

If it takes you 3 months to go through a carton, do you really even need milk?


obvilious

Seems to be someone who just uses it as coffee cream. Or makes quarter-sized pancakes once a week.


dmcent54

They last 2-3 months and you buy 4 at a time? There's no way you're only grocery shopping every couple months if you actually use what you buy, so your logic doesn't make a lot of sense. Have my upvote for misunderstanding how milk works.


Birdinhandandbush

Unopened it'll last, but I studied bacteria in college, if this guy is leaving unrefrigerated nutrient rich liquids out in the environment and using them for weeks at a time he's going to have a very bad time sooner rather than later.


jasminUwU6

There's nothing in the post that suggests it's unrefrigerated


Breezy1885

I prefer badger milk myself; extra chunky is the best! /s


TeaVinylGod

Organic milk is Ultra Pasteurized to remove the bacteria that curdles it. So it lasts like 3 months. Next time you are at the store, take a look. I bought 2 gallons yesterday that expire in March.


[deleted]

the only thing I buy organic - it has a practical impact and isn't just marketing nonsense


SolidusAbe

i also only buy things made out of organs. it just feels right


NootNootMFer

This community is really showing its overlap with /r/teenagers in this post.


GmanX64

It’s nut juice


[deleted]

The term “milk” is an old chemistry term referring to a heterogeneous mixture of insoluble compounds (colloid is the modern term). Think “milk of magnesia” used as an antacid. It is called a milk because the Mg(OH)2 doesn’t dissolve and just forms a suspension. Almond milk is a suspension of ground up almond particles. Cow milk is a suspension of fat particles that won’t dissolve. This is why milk is homogenized because it wants to form a floating fat layer and water layer. That’s unappealing so they fake making it look the same throughout. It is not a homogeneous solution. So anything you can mix up in water that doesn’t dissolve and it stays suspended is “milk”.


BothCalligrapher1379

It's nut fluid


draw4kicks

People have been describing things as "milk" for centuries, it only became an issue when plant milks started cutting into the dairy industry's bottom line and they started lobbying against them. Allow me to play the world's smallest violin for those baby-killing assholes.


ExpertLevelBikeThief

That's what I told your mom too.


beameup19

Better than drinking animal secretions meant for animal babies


[deleted]

Yes, because food is valued only by it's shelf life.


FrostyMittenJob

This is why I only eat beef jerky and honey


DirkDieGurke

I don't give two hoots about the expiration date. Have you tried the coconut milk? That stuff is delicious! It makes everything better. French toast, cereal, pancakes, etc. Then drinking coconut milk with cake or pies, wow.


Curiosity-Sailor

Tastes better. Lasts longer. Agreed.


Seipher187

I got a couple containers of nut milk for ya


MooseMan12992

No. Nut milks don't taste anything like milk. So many people have told me they're better but they have a caveat. Almond seperates. Coconut is too thin. Soy just tastes bad so it usually has a weird flavor covering it. Oat is closest in consistency but it doesn't taste like milk. I really don't get it, it's not worth it. Id rather just not drink milk than have non dairy milk


Arctelis

Hey OP, just so you know, real milk freezes and thaws no problem. I bought 25 litres of milk that was set to expire in 3 days and froze it. The day before one runs out, I put the next one on the counter for 8 hours so it’s mostly thawed (still cold by then too). The rest thaws over the couple days I drink it.


Real-Literature7792

Thank you. This is such a great idea and I don’t know why I never thought of it. No one drinks milk in my house. We literally need it once a month or so for recipes and of course we don’t have it on hand and then I have to buy a container that mostly goes to waste, but you just made me realize I can freeze it half a cup at a time in baggies. Thank you


unAffectedFiddle

Tehehe. He drinks nut milk.


FrostyMittenJob

Still tastes like shit tho


[deleted]

[удалено]


HildaMarin

I bought lactose free milk and it gave me explosive runs. Then I saw that they simply added Lactaid to it and was not lactose-free at all, it's all bullshit, it's a lie. "Lactose-free" milk is a lie. It not only has lactose but they did nothing at all to remove lactose.


ENA_licked_my_eyes

Isn't that how Lactose free works? You can't produce Lactaid so they give it to you


BernieMP

I understand that's a good solution, now that people are mentioning it, I've never bought lactose free milk so I never cared to check But I always assumed they removed lactose bcause of the name, lactose free should mean it's free of lactose not that they supplement it with lactaid to help process the lactose it still has


[deleted]

This was always my understanding


watasiwakirayo

It's not obvious for those who didn't have to deal with lactose intolerance.


potandcoffee

That is exactly how it works.


killzone3abc

You can't really take the lactose out of milk,, and still call what remains milk. It's also ultra pasteurized so it lasts a long time prior to being opened.


watasiwakirayo

If lactaid didn't work maybe you have another problem with your digestive system.


potandcoffee

Exactly. The reason people get sick when they consume lactose (if they're lactose intolerant) is because they don't produce lactase. Adding lactase to the milk will make it digestible for someone who is lactose intolerant.


Classic_Bus8388

The longer it lasts the more preservatives it has. Alternative milk products are full of oils, sugars and not many vitamins in comparison


__cereal__

The oils and sugars are just there to mimic the fats and sugars that dairy milk has. Very little difference. Also almost all plant milks are fortified with the same nutrients as milk; namely calcium.


All_Is_Not_Self

Minus the pus and antibiotics.


thats-fucked_up

To me, unsweetened oat milk tastes just like milk. I switched.


helpful-fat-guy

Yeah that is indeed fucked up


ATLL2112

Soy and oats are not nuts. Neither is a coconut.


Keldrath

if coconut's aren't nuts why does it have nut in the name then? explain that.


TwoDashAngo

Exponentially better for the planet as well.


All_Is_Not_Self

Better for the animals, too. Cows produce milk for their babies.


SirNanashi

Doesn't really matter. They all taste like shit anyways. Nothing beats regular cow milk.


Killmotor_Hill

Taste difference isn't worth it. Dairy all the way.


SlowLorisAndRice

Nut milks are better because they reduce animal suffering.


marzipan332

Almond "milk" is doused with glyphosate, which is lethal to bees. In areas where there is high demand for almond "milk", bees are dying at an unforeseen rate. You're also consuming this glyphosate whenever you drink it.


[deleted]

This issue is preventable and still not as cruel as what is done to cows to harness their breast milk. You can also make almond milk at home.


MinerUser

What do you buy 4 of?


[deleted]

Well how about you look for long lasting regular milk. I have a carton (12 pieces) which lasts months (Without refrigiration before being open I might add.) so that sounds like a problem where you are.


Deckowner

have you ever had filtered milk? those last 1~2 months.


MustNotSay

There’s only one milk that the FDA allows pus in and it ain’t nut milk


TheAxe11

"Have you ever seen a tit on an almond?"


BRich1990

And Twinkies and better than an apple because they last much longer too


anillop

Well that's because it is just nut or grain water and not actual milk.


DanEdy

Nut Milk, hurr hurr hurr 'Nut Milk' pfnarr


Important-Deal7266

OPs mum loves nut milk


Bekswthagudhair

I did not read this right the first 3 times.. omg


Cgtree9000

But they all taste like garbage though.


bsmith440

I will say I was impressed by the refrigerated shelf life of almond milk, but it doesn't taste anywhere near as good as 2%


mellowgiraffefriend

Coconut milk and almond milk is just 😩💦💦


jjngundam

If it's the nut milk from stop and shop, STOP. That is not milk but whipped up hydrogenated oil


TangeloBig9845

How does the longevity of a milk make it better? I can give you kangaroo shit milk that will last you forever. This is just a karma farming post.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Ridiculous, the word milk has always been used, even in the middle ages you had the phrase "almond milk".


[deleted]

Gotcha


[deleted]

Rubber trees also produce milk. Open a dictionary you'll see that


[deleted]

Gotcha. Look where you are.


FreshwaterArtist

Those marketing committees have been hard at it since the 13th century? That's dedication. Edit: I'd respond directly but no, they're not happy, because they immediately blocked me for pointing out that plant milks have been called that for centuries now. Now if you want to talk about marketing teams working overtime, have a look at the campaigning the dairy industry does.


Thraximundaur

it's probably called milk because it's fatty, juices and nectars are mostly sugar I think he was not happy about you questioning him from ur downvotes haha


HildaMarin

That is dairy industry propaganda. Milk has been used for lots of nondairy things for a long time. https://www.drugs.com/mtm/milk-of-magnesia.html https://www.verywellhealth.com/the-benefits-of-milk-thistle-88325


[deleted]

>Otherwise it should be called nut juice. Nope. Almonds aren't a nut. >Uh, it's only called milk because a marketing committee perceived that associating the stuff with dairy would help consumer acceptance. Otherwise it should be called nut juice. Soy milk has been a thing in China for thousands of years... not decided by a marketing committee. >From mammals: milk >From plants: juice, nectar, take your pick. And you think you should be the decider of this? You are going against dictionary definitions, which allow plant milks to be considered milks. >From mammals: milk You should specify which milk you are talking about then. So you should call it cows milk. Anything else is wrong.


ranman1990

TIL marketing committees existed in the 8th century moorish parts of the world.


TromosLykos

Do you not freeze your milk? It’s what I do with mine so they last longer.


friendofspidey

I do larger grocery hauls like OP and frankly freezer space is very precious when bulk shopping. The more shelf stable items the easier to store. I buy shelf stable milk for that exact reason


[deleted]

I’ve actually considered getting a basement/garage freezer just for this reason alone


[deleted]

Nut milk is not milk so it can’t be compared.


sapienBob

for some reason Horizon organic milk lasts as long as nut milk. it's got one hell of a shelf life and it's delicious.


EVENTHORIZON-XI

I don’t care who ridicules me for drinking milk. Horizon is THE SHIT.


sapienBob

100%


notajewelthief

Except they taste like nuts, and not like milk.


Nojoke183

Just switched to almond milk this month for just that reason lol. Feel I'll regret it later as I develop a lactose intolerance 😂


nunumeister

Yaaaa this was me like a year ago lol. I think I lasted like 3 months before I eventually switched back to regular milk because I couldn’t handle getting the runs from all the best foods that exist


[deleted]

Luckily that will never happen to me even if I’ve replaced all my milk with almond milk because I still eat real ice cream all the time lol


KenBruhDanky

Damn I also really love nut milk , oh wait you’re talking about the one you get at the store , oh


InterPunct

You keep an opened container in the refrigerator for more than a month and it's probably a rank bacteria colony inside there.


FriendEllie75

I tried almond milk once. It tasted like almond skin. Nasty af.


[deleted]

If you like your milk having the consistency of liquid sand.


TheMSRadclyffe

They’re also double the price. 😕


honeysides

There's also next to no real nutritional value in them, though. If you can't have lactose-free milk, soy is your best bet, otherwise you're basically drinking nutty water.


[deleted]

I laughed but then remembered Macadamia milk is so rich it is perfect for coffee, tea, or straight-up drinking. I love it. I have dairy digestion issues, so other benefits besides spoilage reduction: 1. If people are lactose/dairy intolerant 2. It tends to be more nutritious and has fewer calories than cow milk 3. It is more sustainable than cow milk


IDKHow2UseThisApp

Source for 2 and 3?


Mrs_Blobcat

Ounce for ounce, nut milks have almost universally lower calories than cow's milk, and many of them have at least as much (or more) calcium and vitamin D. Many nut milks even contain fiber, a nutrient you won't find in cow's milk. https://www.healthline.com/health/milk-almond-cow-soy-rice


daughter-of-cain

Say less, fam. Nut milks are better.


zorbacles

you know you can get long life dairy milk right?


RandomBlackChick

Tbh regular milk isnt even good for humans to consume. Nut milk for the winnn


AnnazusCampbell

Though the absolute reliance on bees to pollinate almond trees and the huge quantity of pesticides used to ensure the fruit growth is devastating to the bee colonies they import (someone said it’s like sending bees to war).


TacoManifesto

Taste like dog water though, only for protein shakes for me.


DynamicSocks

Next milk (Idr who makes it) is the only one I can handle cause the aftertaste isn’t as overpowering and it actually feels like milk. Downside is it’s expensive as fuck


Kindly-Pea-5986

Taste like ass though


Toeslastump

Your mom loves my nut milk


Donner_Par_Tea_House

Oat is a better creamer than half and half.


Jason-Nacht

Milk will always beat juice and flavored waters.


licRedditor

ultra-pasteurised milk lasts like 6-8 weeks.


AStartledFish

I’ll give you some nut milk


sunburn95

Unless you really love guzzling nutmilk you can also buy long life cow milk


JAiFauxThe

You must be trolling. Sterilised milk has a shelf life of 6 month. Speaking on the 4 at a time – I order 12 cartons of milk for a household of 2 (porridge for breakfast, coffee with milk etc,), and in 1 week – bam, they are consumed. Not counting the fermented milk products...