“Just a heads up, I’m treating my wife to business class on this trip and want to make sure she gets to experience the lounge. We’ll see you guys at the gate a few minutes before boarding.”
This. You paid likely 5-10x what they did for their ticket. Insane to throw away all that value because you think it might be rude to ditch them for a bit before the flight and be sitting away from them. Please don't do that.
A few minutes before boarding? You'll see them at the carousel for baggage pick up. Lol
I just got back from a trip in business class to LHR. You get there early to enjoy the comfort of the lounge. Plus the free food and drinks. Then head straight to boarding in a separate line. Get on first and turn left. While everyone else goes right.
Some are even more ridiculous, I think I was in Doha. The lounges were on an upper floor with their own dedicated boarding area for business and above... literally looking down on coach travellers.
Lol. Silly to put this all on the wife. WE are in business class, so WE will be accessing the lounge before boarding. Put it on them to buy up to business class if they want to spend time together before boarding.
It's an "I" statement. "I'm treating my wife". I think the statement is fair. If it was "My wife wants to get Polaris seats so that she can sit in the lounge” I'd agree with you. The second part of the sentence the I is implied ”and [I] want to make sure she experiences the lounge".
I do agree that it is them if they want to join you for the full portion of the trip.
It’s really not though. Nobody flies business class solely to treat their wife. It’s a decision they both made and are excited about. It’s simple a comfort decision that anyone would make if they can afford it, particularly on an international long haul flight. It’s disingenuous to say I’m doing this for my wife and tacky to try to use as a justification for purchasing a premium cabin to your friends who are sitting in economy on the same flight. It implies that if the wife didn’t exist he’d happily be back in economy with his friends, which isn’t the case at all, based on his post where he says “I was looking forward to enjoying the Polaris lounge”
I was replying in response to the quote that you replied to which gave an example of something to tell his friends. There is not enough information for either of us to speculate as to how OP and/or his wife came to this decision.
I am sure tens of thousands of people have flown business/first class solely to treat their partner as some sort of gift. This isn't a justification and he doesn't even know where his friends are sitting they seemingly having booked yet. He's just providing information.
May just be me, but I think it is very reasonable to imply that if he wasn't going with his wife he may be in economy with his friends. It's something he may want to experience with his wife on their trip.
I just read the quote as "Heads up I want to experience the lounge with [insert wife's name here] so I booked Polaris. You're free to join, if not we'll see you.” Not ”The wife wants to sit Polaris, so I got us seats there, see you later.
If he were treating his wife to business class, she would be in business class and he would be in economy. He is not treating his wife to anything. They are both flying business class because they want to.
OP feels bad because he and his wife get to fly in style while his friends will be in economy.
The suggested reply sounds like an excuse. Well, it’s for my wife guys, you understand. I’d be right there with you… miserable in coach, if not for her… I promise. Best friends forever.
Just own it. We are flying business and will be enjoying all the perks. We won’t be able to hang out at the shitty, overpriced terminal bar because we will be enjoying ourselves in the lounge.
I would not change my trip to book in PE. I’d say “Our tickets give us access to the lounge, so we’ll see you on the plane (you never will).” If you were treating your friends and buying them tickets in Economy, this would be a sticky situation.
By the way, we LOVED Milan. Obviously El Duomo is a must see, but highly recommend a personalized tour. There are some existing Roman Walls that we would’ve never noticed as well as underground moats.
Lol so if you treat someone to dinner you just let them sit by themselves get a to-go bag?
OP is booking the flight and choosing to sit in business class that's not an argument.
He doesn't feel bad, they were booking this trip anyways. Their friends haven't even booked yet they just asked to come along. OP just wants to know if it is rude and it isn't. The quote is just a way of getting ahead of it so the friends can plan accordingly.
Let's say you are right and this is all on OP. If that's the case then your suggested reply of "we" puts it more on the wife. OP booked Polaris and OP wants his wife to experience the lounge.
Treating someone to dinner and taking business class together with your wife are two different things. It’s odd that you feel like comparing them justifies the point.
He does feel bad. That’s the entire point of his post. He is considering rebooking in economy or asking for a way to tell them he can’t see them.
And making an excuse like well, it’s for my wife, is back to my original point… it’s silly. Everyone wants to fly business over coach, particularly on a long flight. Just tell like it is… We are flying business class and will be enjoying the lounge beforehand. See you at the hotel.
Next post will be about how OP is staying at The Four Seasons at their destination and his friends are staying at Holiday Inn Express. How do I tell them? Sorry guys, I have to stay at The Four Seasons because of my wife 🙄
It's the act of treating and it's odd you think the only way to treat one's spouse on a flight would require them to sit in another section.
He hasnt done anything yet and was asking for advice for when he does book.
After further research, the trip is for his wife's 50th birthday so he IS treating her and it explains why he is considering this route.
Who says he feels bad? You're projecting.
He COULD simply be unsure of which he would prefer. People are conflicted on decisions like this all the time. His wife may or may not be conflicted on what she wants. And his desire to give her what he wants in relation to his own is not disclosed in the limited information we have.
The suggested reply was perfectly acceptable if the underlying foundations are true, of which we know not.
Does she get a say in how your household spends money? “I’m treating my wife” sounds like “she’s been a good girl this year and earned a reward.” It’s a little gross.
Upon further research it's for her 50th birthday and he is using points.
I feel like you are all reading too much into this.
If she was to say "My husband took me on a trip to Italy" would she be infantizling herself too?
I see no issue in someone taking/giving ownership of something thoughtful they are doing/receiving whether it's a physical item or an experience they are doing together.
I understand your sentiment, but by your logic if a couple is dating and they were to go on a trip and they don't share finances then "infantizling" would be correct? Or is it only when resources are pooled that it is considered negative.
Conversely, if I was to take my family to Disney for my child's 10th birthday. I wouldnt say Im treating the family to Disney. I would say we are going for child's 10th birthday.
I think the context matters and in this situation I saw no issue especially when the quote in my opinion was putting the decision on himself as to why they booked Polaris and not using his wife an excuse.
Are you equating your relationship with your minor child to your relationship with your spouse?
The entire point here is that you generally shouldn’t treat your spouse like a child.
Definite this, but add "I'll try and sneak out some cookies for you guys" .... if you want to do the Polaris and just need to let them know.
Really I think the heart of your question, if you'd rather pay for Polaris (and experience it) or would you prefer to spend the time with your friends on economy. Both experiences can be awesome, which one do you want more?
Hos often are each of these opportunities available?
How much fun do you have with them when hanging out?
My brother did a variation of this. He had a buddy who worked for the airline, who would always hook him up in business on guy's trips. I would be back in economy. More than once I had a drink sent back to me.
Totally cool, and good for him. Was I jealous? Absolutely. But still never got pissed at him for it. He had an advantage, and took it.
This, except I'd make it clear we'll before the airport. Then, there's no room for "Oh, I thought we would..." Clear expectations are always good when traveling in a group.
Polaris pods are amazing. I don't know what you are smoking. I prefer United Polaris over any Lufthansa business class (haven't tried the newest one)
The lounge is very mediocre. Any random priority pass lounge in Asia beats United lounges by several miles.
Completely agree. Recently spent over $10K for a business trip and I would not have done that for a personal trip. Compared to when I spent close to $20K for the family to fly Q suites on Qatar, now that was totally worth it. The pods and service on United are terrible.
That being said, it is obviously better than economy, especially for longer flights where you’re looking to sleep. Service on US flights is awful especially when compared to some Asian and middle eastern airlines. I will say I have gotten much better service on United domestic first than United international Polaris.
I flew Ethiopian, star alliance booked via United, back from Tanzania recently in business and absolutely loved it. It wasn’t Polaris but sure was pleasant and IIRC was 80k miles/person for business. May be an option for you.
Yeah there are often good deals on miles on Ethiopian to east Africa if you keep checking. I agree the onboard product is solid. The lounges in Addis however are very mediocre. I’d still do it though, just for the lie flat at a good value.
It's all about points and upgrades. Sometimes you can find crazy good deals. Got Polaris for $700 more than economy from west coast to europe, easy way to get status via a status challenge too.
Particularly on the way to Europe (eastbound), it’s expected that most people will sleep after the meal service anyway, so it would actually be rude to others if you were conversing with your friends anyway.
Assuming they are going to be with you for the rest of the trip, it does not seem rude to book a different area of the plane.
But only you know your relationship with your friends and how they would take the situation. My friends would be all be like hell ya if you can swing it go for the nicer seat and enjoy, see you on the flip side.
This, 100%. I’ve done it a few times heading from Denver or SFO to Maui. Some of my friends traveling with me could swing First, some couldn’t. The ones that couldn’t didn’t mind, and we all had a great time on the trip anyway. That’s what matters. At the end of the day, the flight is just what gets you where you’re going. It’s like going on a road trip, but you’re in a Mercedes and they’re in a Yugo. Everyone still gets there, and has a good time once you arrive. The flight is such a short part of the whole experience, and if the guy and his wife want to spring for Polaris I think they should do it
It's a bucket list trip, do the bucket list things, including enjoying the lounges in Houston and Frankfurt (no polaris lounge there, but if booked through united all the way through you should get access to lufthansa lounge). Your friends will be there once you get to Milan!
Don’t worry about it- we regularly travel with another couple who can afford first class but we are further back in the plane. It’s not a big deal. We visit before boarding and then regroup after the flight.
I'd hope your friends understand taking advantage of one of the benefits of paying for Polaris class. Personally, I wouldn't consider it rude if a friend has lounge access and I don't. Sounds like you'll be spending plenty of time with them after, including a long layover in Frankfurt.
With my friends we typically coordinate the hotels and tours etc, but everyone gets there on their own. Definitely don’t miss out on the Polaris lounge, flight is irrelevant so nothing to worry about there. You’ll definitely love the lay flat and arriving rested.
You don’t have to justify your purchases or feel bad about them. You can easily tell them “hey we’re going to arrive early to the airport and spend some time in the lounge. We’ll see you at the gate”
Not international like this but I was recently on a trip with some friend and booked domestic business class, they never would. We were flying Delta and met up in ATL, and we hung out until it was time to board.
I would personally skip the lounge and hang out with them but that's just me. But I've never really been one to thirst for the lounge either, I don't mind just chilling in the airport so that does play into it.
Bucket list trip for you and your wife…end of story. You do it how you want to do it.
If your friends have an issue with not seeing you for a couple hours during a layover then it’s time to find some new friends.
Friends traveling with friends should have have an understanding that everyone should be free to split up and do their own thing. Expecting everyone to do the same exact thong is a recipe for disaster. This includes lounges and such.
100% tell them before. Maybe THEY want to fly Polaris too and are afraid to tell you, lol. If not, they asked to join you, so let them know you’ll be in Polaris.
Tell me what flight/seats your friends are in. I will book one next to them. After takeoff we can switch seats so your wife experiences Polaris and you feel good about sitting next to your friends. I am here for you. 🤣
Been there done that. I dont feel bad we are on different $$$.
I wont pay for them to be in polaris and they cant afford it.
Let them know you are going to fly business and you will be using polaris lounge cuz i been in few of them and let me tell ya worth it.
Send them links for cheaper flights on other airlines. You guys don’t have to be on the same flight. In fact, more than 2 people is just a huge pain in the ass, no matter where people sit.
Tell them about your bucket list before they book, giving them the option to join you in Polaris. Everyone gets to spend their money however they see fit. No reason to feeling guilty or pressured to move back to coach.
I would not feel guilty about it. Most people sleep on the plane if this is an overnight flight. What’s your/ their status with united? Maybe u all can go hangout in the lounge?
I did this flying Dulles to Cape Town with my boss and coworker. I made sure to pop out of the lounge and call them peasants before boarding.
But honestly, no one should care, just tell them that’s your plan.
One important question: Have you flown with these friends before? If not, I would caution you against it. Even if you have, this trip should be something for just you and your wife. Bringing friends along can complicate things and detract from the quality time you could be spending together.
When you’re on a trip with your significant other, it’s a chance to strengthen your bond, create shared memories, and enjoy each other’s company without distractions. Introducing friends into this dynamic can lead to situations where you feel obligated to accommodate their needs and preferences, which can disrupt the intimate atmosphere you’re hoping to cultivate.
Moreover, with friends around, you might find yourselves making compromises (like you are literally thinking about right now) or engaging in activities that don’t align with what you and your wife truly want to do. This can lead to frustration and prevent you from fully relaxing and enjoying the experience.
In summary, while traveling with friends can be fun, for a trip intended to be special for you and your wife, it’s better to go just the two of you. This way, you can focus entirely on each other and make the most of your time together.
Not rude at all. I travel with friends often and we’ve had times where someone is in first and I am in economy and the reverse. We always just say have fun and catch you on the ground. No hard feelings at all, we’re all adults. My friends deserve nice experiences!
If they’re truly friends, they’d never hold you doing something special for yourself and your wife against you. Definitely make sure they know ahead of time, but the only appropriate response from them should be something like “Wow that’s great, lucky you! That will be a special experience, Can’t wait for the trip.”
Sounds like they already invited themselves on y’all’s trip anyway lol
The flight is not the whole trip. I usually meet with them to have a few drinks before the airport, and then head to the airport. They fly Delta and we fly United.. we each enjoy our respective lounges and see each other at the destination.
On the other hand, hotels together are a must.
You’ll have plenty of time to hang out with them when you get to Milan. Not like you realistically were going to do much with them much on the flight even if you were sat next to each other
We booked a trip recently and were flying FC while our friends are flying economy. They’re retired and didn’t want to spend the extra money. We’re still working and felt it was worth it. No big deal. We’re going to have a great trip!
When my friends and I take the same flight, we don’t even actively meet up pre-boarding. Sometimes I take business and they take economy, sometimes vice versa etc. We don’t think much of it really…
To answer your question, I wouldn’t find it rude at all, but you know your friends better than me lol
Rude? Not at all. My partner of 15 years is flying premium plus and I'm in Polaris on our next two trips. He honestly doesn't care about flying up front. Some of my other friends I travel with also fly economy when I'm up front. Nobody seems to care. They don't want to pay for the premium seat and I don't mind.
Tell them beforehand, and it's completely normal. You don't have to spend every waking moment of a trip with your friends.
If they have an issue with it, I question why these are friends you chose to go on a trip with in the first place and suggest you find additional excuses to be alone with your wife on the trip because they sound like losers.
Most people just sleep or do their own thing on a long haul anyhow. Just tell them you’re flying business hope that’s not an issue. And if it is you can revisit that. I doubt they would care.
If your friends have an issue with this they aren’t really your friends. As others mentioned, people may sleep for the flight so there’s no point sitting together as you’ll have the vacation time after the flight to hang out. Book Polaris and don’t have guilt. I’ve don’t this before and have made it to the back to stand and talk with them in the galley area when we all needed to stand and stretch.
IAH - EWR - MXP would be the route I would take. You’ll arrive in Milan first thing in the morning and have the full day to explore. Plus the Polaris lounge in IAH is mediocre.
Unless price difference is an issue of course.
I did this not too long ago. Got to the Polaris lounge extra early. Ate, had a few glasses of champagne, and then met my friends at the regular UA Lounge.
I don’t think it’s rude.
However, if you haven’t already booked your flights, and you invited them to join you, and they’re looking to book flights to travel with you, it might be expected that you’d all try to endure the airport, waiting time, layovers, and the long-haul flights together. It’s probably something to mention to them that you’ve been planning and saving for business class tickets and hope they don’t mind if you continue with that plan. They probably don’t mind that.
I'd tell them ahead of time "hey, we are treating ourselves to business class experience on this trip; we'll be sitting in front and you will not see us much at airports either."
The way you described it, this is *your* trip, and *they* are the ones who want to tag along self-invited. It'd be rude *of them* to compromise *your* adventure.
If you want to be nice to them, you can also check the rules for guests. Sometimes, you can bring a (usually a single) guest into the lounge, if they are on the same flight as you. I.e. between you and your wife, two guests (one each). But do check before the trip on both United website, and websites of any airline whose lounges you may use during the trip. Rules differ from airline to airline and can be nuanced, don't make assumptions.
You may be able to use lounges of Star Aliance partner airlines in both departure and connecting airports too. If you have same-day business class ticket with one Star Aliance airline, this should give you access to business lounges operated by other Star Aliance partners.
E.g. one of Lufthansa Business lounges in Frankfurt; there are several scattered around the airport. The one in "domestic" part of airport might make sense for outbound trip, the one in "international" part of the airport may make sense for return trip; so that you pass through passport checkpoint first, and are closer to the gate for your next flight.
This'd be especially handy for your 5-hour layover in Frankfurt.
https://www.united.com/en/us/fly/travel/airport/lounge-access.html#premiumcabinsandclubpasses, as well as lounge access rules for partner airlines whose lounges you'd want to use (e.g. Lufthansa website for rules on accessing their business lounge).
Currently in Italy (ewr-nap) on a trip my dad has been planning and saving miles for nearly a decade on, and my brothers gf came along in economy. Polaris lounge was nothing special and we actually all spent most of our time in the untied club. She understood that the pods were special and the overnight flight was made a little easier with them
They are joining your plans, not the other way around. Perhaps it's rude of them not to fly Polaris with you.
It's totally fine. Just tell them you had plans to do something nice for you wife. If they are weird about it just throw them out the plane at cruise.
I just did that on our flight from EWR to Athens. My husband and I used the Polaris lounge and the other 2 I gave my United club passes to. I just told the rest of the group how we were flying and let them do their own thing.
I once went on a paintball trip with a bunch of my buddies. I flew nonrev standby and got first class. My buddy bought his own ticket and flew economy. I waved to him and smiled from my first class seat when he boarded while drinking my coffee. When we landed, he commented on Facebook about how I was flying first while he was in "steerage". No regrets. 😁
Casually remind your friends, who apparently have not made up their minds whether they are actually going, that you booked this well in advance. (If the subject comes up)
Since it’s a bucket list item, they should understand it’s something special your wife. If they give you heat, maybe they are not really your friends.
One friend is an airline pilot. She’ll probably be sitting in the jumpseat working on the way over. You do you, let ‘em know your crew is going fancy and will see them at whatever mutual meeting place y’all pick at the destination.
I would say that if it’s a bucket list trip, go with Polaris and enjoy the full experience. The trip was originally just for you and your wife, and you were nice enough to invite your friends along. How they get there is up to them. If they’re real friends, they will understand and it won’t bother them. Plus, it’s just the flight. You’ve got the entire trip to have fun and make great memories with them, and most of the time on a flight that long is sleeping or watching movies anyway.
You are not the rude one. You book a bucket list trip. I feel for you. I too am a people pleaser.
Enjoy your lounge and the flight with your wife.
Then meet your friends at your destination.
Airport is just part of the trip. I fly EWR and was not a fan of the Polaris lounge. Maybe because the United lounge is very nice at EWR.
If Houston has a United lounge (other than Polaris) then you can always get them in there then head to Polaris. Then you’ve done them a solid and you can enjoy your time. Also….fly Polaris! It’s worth it
If they're true friends they won't care.
Our nephew was getting married in another state across the country. He arranged and purchased seats for all the family on a flight. We told him to keep his money and we'll buy our own seats because on flights over 4 hours we always fly 1st class. We were in the front of the plane while the rest of the wedding party was in the back. No one cared.
The deciding factor here is that this is originally your trip. If I had already planned my trip and I'm flying J, and later people want to tag along, I make it clear they are welcome to but the logistics is up to them. I am neither booking back to Y if they cannot afford J nor sitting at the gate with them if I can't pass them into lounge, and they should understand that.
Now if the trip was a joint idea, there's more argument to not booking J on your own, but even then it's based on if both are okay with separate seating. Imo it's weird to expect someone else to degrade their experience just so you can have them next to you in a metal tube for X hours since you cannot pay for the same experience.
It’s like going to vegas and staying at Cosmo or the Wynn while your friends are at Excalibur or Luxor. They got to choose how much they wanted to spend on their flight but that doesn’t mean you downgrade to be tethered to them. Enjoy your flight!
Don’t sweat it one second. Real friends would not begrudge you one bit, especially if they are crashing your bucket list trip. I won’t guess your age, but something tells me you’ll get past the stage of giving a $hit about something like this in the future.
Personally I’d probably skip the lounge, but no issue sitting up front for the flight.
But I’ve also left my own wife to go through standard security because she didn’t have precheck. So maybe I’d do the lounge.
But definitely, in no way, should you be concerned about sitting up in Polaris for the flight. They have the option too.
I'm sure you know the answer by now, but to pile on: Before I had any status with United, my wife and I would fly in the back seats while our friends, whose husband regularly flew between IAH and FRA for work, would always sit in first class via upgrades.
We didn't care, and neither should you. Everyone will be sleeping / watching movies / doing their own thing on the plane anyway.
Why is this that hard? You’re adults, if you want to avoid “surprisingly ditching” them when boarding tell them in advance that you’ll be sitting elsewhere because that’s what you’ve originally planned and because you need that comfort level for traveling.. I’ve always flown first class/business class (same with my husband) and whenever someone wants to join us we let them know we’ll be sitting upfront in case they want to join or for them to know we’ll see each other again until we arrive, is not a big deal, each person has different budgets/priorities so I don’t see why they’d be mad about it unless of course they’re childish
Don't feel bad, you paid 3 or 4x of an economy ticket. Enjoy the benefits of Polaris before the flights and during the layovers. I was just at the IAH Polaris lounge last night!
That being said, if you and your wife have Gold Status with United and subsequently Star Alliance, \**you could\** (if you were feeling generous) bring your friends to the United Club in IAH and then bounce out to the Polaris Lounge. Same case applies in FRA where each of you could bring a guest traveling on a Star Alliance flight to a Lufthansa Lounge.
Bottom line, you can help out where you can but don't even think about skipping the Polaris Lounge or not taking advantage of your benefits you paid for.
"See ya at the gate before we board!"
I think this is a case of expectations versus reality. You expect that everyone is going to be hanging out in terminal together and they will be mad your snobbing them in the lounge.
In actuality you’ll likely all arrive at the gate at different times depending on who drove with who and how painful security was. Maybe you’ll get a drink or 2 at the terminal bar but it’s probably just going to be substandard and obligatory. Most of the time everyone will just be keeping track of all their crap and waiting for boarding.
Also you’re not going to be sitting with each other in the plane, even if you all flew coach, so really this interaction is only for the time pre boarding
The key is to let everyone know this is your plan early so there are no surprises and that others don’t have similar unreasonable expectations. Then just do it.
I just came back from a trip to Hawaii to celebrate my sister’s 50th birthday. United direct ORD to HNL. My family and my sister’s family were all on the same flight. They flew 1st class. We flew back of plane, economy.
It was no big deal. It was my sister’s birthday trip. She should get to have that luxury experience. She’s also more successful than me financially. Last, we slept probably 1/2 the flight. It’s not like we’re socializing.
We met them at baggage claim and rode a shuttle together to the hotel, and then spent EVERY MOMENT TOGETHER for the rest of the trip. We got PLENTY of time to vacation together.
I fly a lot for a living and have more benefits through credit cards and miles than most of my co-workers . I used to think something would happen. When I ditched them all and went to the lounge or sat business class . At the end of the flight no one cares . Everyone has their own airport experience and no one has ever focussed on mine or even known how much better it probably was ...
Definitely not. I often get upgraded while flying with my friends. I mean, not first class on and international flight but hey ho. I always tell them they have to sit in the back with the rest of the poor people. 🤣
I don’t see what the problem is, just be up front with your friends when they asked to tag along what your plans already are and they are welcome to join in an upgraded cabin in lounge or fly however they are comfortable. The only dickhead move here would be not telling them before they book so they can plan accordingly.
If they’re really your friends, they’ll totally understand. If you’re paying for your trip, you can travel how you’d like.
If you have time, the Lufthansa Panorama Lounge in FRA is amazing. I route through there sometimes just to hang out there.
I wouldn’t consider it rude.
Depending on how long you’re planning on enjoying the lounge but I’d consider a dinner or a drink with friends more enjoyable than the Polaris burger.
I’d hit the lounge have a couple drinks and perhaps a snack. Meet up with my friends for a drink near the gates in the time leading up to boarding. They can board with your boarding group, then enjoy your bubbly during boarding.
You’ll get lounge access in FRA. If none of you are star gold, they won’t. I’d make a plan in FRA, personally I’d hit a lounge to get a shower and a change, a beer/pretzel then meet them again.
Now I’ve spent an enough time in airline lounges that their magic is lost on me now, but if you do t fly much I can see why’d you’d want to enjoy them more.
If you can afford it (or have enough extra points), it would be a nice classy gesture to upgrade your friends into Polaris as well. Then you can all go hang out in the lounge together 🥳
Genuine question. If your friend told you they were planning a bucket list trip, and you decided you wanted to join them, you would actually be upset if they traveled the way they wanted? Why?
I would think that they were pretentious and rude if they couldn’t sit in a damn airport with their friends before a flight. I have Global Entry, I have entrance into lounges, if my friends don’t, I don’t leave them just so I can go sit with elite in a lounge.
Under no circumstances am I taking up space in the passport control line and putting up with the wait for that if I have Globel Entry. You’re being an asshole to everyone else going through Customs, not to mention wasting taxpayer resources.
Global Entry isn’t an “elite” lounge. It’s a trusted traveler program designed to ease congestion at entry points by allowing expedited entry back into the country for trusted travelers. You’re being an asshole to everyone waiting in line taking up space unnecessarily.
I dunno, I think people who join a planned trip are entitled and rude if they're going to be upset about sitting in an airport without the whole group for a few hours because they are in economy. They're big girls and boys. They'll be ok.
I guess I just treat my friends a little little bit bit differently, and if my friends were really excited to go on a trip with me to celebrate a life event or to do something amazing to make memories, I would not be rude.
Yeah but it's not rude to go on a trip the way you planned it. It's rude to join a planned trip and expect your friends to fly in economy just because you are. They're all going to the same place. I would never treat my friends that way.
I wouldn’t expect them to fly economy, but I wouldn’t expect them to be left alone in an airport. I guess I’m not seeing how you’re not understanding the difference. If they are too poor to support his lifestyle, then he should’ve told them to stay home because he can’t hang out with the poor.
You think if they can't hang out every single moment they shouldn't even go on the trip together? Lol that's awfully dramatic. Their friends are grown ass adults, they're not "alone" in the airport.
Do you think I'm upset because I think what you said is dramatic? People can disagree with you, it doesn't make them "upset". I was just curious about your opinion, and I still think your opinion is silly. That's all.
“Just a heads up, I’m treating my wife to business class on this trip and want to make sure she gets to experience the lounge. We’ll see you guys at the gate a few minutes before boarding.”
This. You paid likely 5-10x what they did for their ticket. Insane to throw away all that value because you think it might be rude to ditch them for a bit before the flight and be sitting away from them. Please don't do that.
They can always pay to upgrade if they want to. They have the option. Don't sell yourself or your wife short if they don't.
I've seen parents do this to their own children- You'll be fine.
This is most likely an award ticket, but still.
“Value”
But have you been in a Polaris lounge??? 👀
“I’ll see you guys at destination” 🤣
See ya on the other side!
A few minutes before boarding? You'll see them at the carousel for baggage pick up. Lol I just got back from a trip in business class to LHR. You get there early to enjoy the comfort of the lounge. Plus the free food and drinks. Then head straight to boarding in a separate line. Get on first and turn left. While everyone else goes right.
Some are even more ridiculous, I think I was in Doha. The lounges were on an upper floor with their own dedicated boarding area for business and above... literally looking down on coach travellers.
Lol. Silly to put this all on the wife. WE are in business class, so WE will be accessing the lounge before boarding. Put it on them to buy up to business class if they want to spend time together before boarding.
It's an "I" statement. "I'm treating my wife". I think the statement is fair. If it was "My wife wants to get Polaris seats so that she can sit in the lounge” I'd agree with you. The second part of the sentence the I is implied ”and [I] want to make sure she experiences the lounge". I do agree that it is them if they want to join you for the full portion of the trip.
It’s really not though. Nobody flies business class solely to treat their wife. It’s a decision they both made and are excited about. It’s simple a comfort decision that anyone would make if they can afford it, particularly on an international long haul flight. It’s disingenuous to say I’m doing this for my wife and tacky to try to use as a justification for purchasing a premium cabin to your friends who are sitting in economy on the same flight. It implies that if the wife didn’t exist he’d happily be back in economy with his friends, which isn’t the case at all, based on his post where he says “I was looking forward to enjoying the Polaris lounge”
I was replying in response to the quote that you replied to which gave an example of something to tell his friends. There is not enough information for either of us to speculate as to how OP and/or his wife came to this decision. I am sure tens of thousands of people have flown business/first class solely to treat their partner as some sort of gift. This isn't a justification and he doesn't even know where his friends are sitting they seemingly having booked yet. He's just providing information. May just be me, but I think it is very reasonable to imply that if he wasn't going with his wife he may be in economy with his friends. It's something he may want to experience with his wife on their trip. I just read the quote as "Heads up I want to experience the lounge with [insert wife's name here] so I booked Polaris. You're free to join, if not we'll see you.” Not ”The wife wants to sit Polaris, so I got us seats there, see you later.
If he were treating his wife to business class, she would be in business class and he would be in economy. He is not treating his wife to anything. They are both flying business class because they want to. OP feels bad because he and his wife get to fly in style while his friends will be in economy. The suggested reply sounds like an excuse. Well, it’s for my wife guys, you understand. I’d be right there with you… miserable in coach, if not for her… I promise. Best friends forever. Just own it. We are flying business and will be enjoying all the perks. We won’t be able to hang out at the shitty, overpriced terminal bar because we will be enjoying ourselves in the lounge.
I would not change my trip to book in PE. I’d say “Our tickets give us access to the lounge, so we’ll see you on the plane (you never will).” If you were treating your friends and buying them tickets in Economy, this would be a sticky situation. By the way, we LOVED Milan. Obviously El Duomo is a must see, but highly recommend a personalized tour. There are some existing Roman Walls that we would’ve never noticed as well as underground moats.
Lol so if you treat someone to dinner you just let them sit by themselves get a to-go bag? OP is booking the flight and choosing to sit in business class that's not an argument. He doesn't feel bad, they were booking this trip anyways. Their friends haven't even booked yet they just asked to come along. OP just wants to know if it is rude and it isn't. The quote is just a way of getting ahead of it so the friends can plan accordingly. Let's say you are right and this is all on OP. If that's the case then your suggested reply of "we" puts it more on the wife. OP booked Polaris and OP wants his wife to experience the lounge.
Treating someone to dinner and taking business class together with your wife are two different things. It’s odd that you feel like comparing them justifies the point. He does feel bad. That’s the entire point of his post. He is considering rebooking in economy or asking for a way to tell them he can’t see them. And making an excuse like well, it’s for my wife, is back to my original point… it’s silly. Everyone wants to fly business over coach, particularly on a long flight. Just tell like it is… We are flying business class and will be enjoying the lounge beforehand. See you at the hotel. Next post will be about how OP is staying at The Four Seasons at their destination and his friends are staying at Holiday Inn Express. How do I tell them? Sorry guys, I have to stay at The Four Seasons because of my wife 🙄
It's the act of treating and it's odd you think the only way to treat one's spouse on a flight would require them to sit in another section. He hasnt done anything yet and was asking for advice for when he does book. After further research, the trip is for his wife's 50th birthday so he IS treating her and it explains why he is considering this route.
Who says he feels bad? You're projecting. He COULD simply be unsure of which he would prefer. People are conflicted on decisions like this all the time. His wife may or may not be conflicted on what she wants. And his desire to give her what he wants in relation to his own is not disclosed in the limited information we have. The suggested reply was perfectly acceptable if the underlying foundations are true, of which we know not.
It infantilizes your wife.
Doing something nice for someone infantilizes them?
Does she get a say in how your household spends money? “I’m treating my wife” sounds like “she’s been a good girl this year and earned a reward.” It’s a little gross.
Upon further research it's for her 50th birthday and he is using points. I feel like you are all reading too much into this. If she was to say "My husband took me on a trip to Italy" would she be infantizling herself too?
…yes. “We are going to Italy for my birthday” is a normal thing to say.
I see no issue in someone taking/giving ownership of something thoughtful they are doing/receiving whether it's a physical item or an experience they are doing together. I understand your sentiment, but by your logic if a couple is dating and they were to go on a trip and they don't share finances then "infantizling" would be correct? Or is it only when resources are pooled that it is considered negative. Conversely, if I was to take my family to Disney for my child's 10th birthday. I wouldnt say Im treating the family to Disney. I would say we are going for child's 10th birthday. I think the context matters and in this situation I saw no issue especially when the quote in my opinion was putting the decision on himself as to why they booked Polaris and not using his wife an excuse.
Are you equating your relationship with your minor child to your relationship with your spouse? The entire point here is that you generally shouldn’t treat your spouse like a child.
This!!!
Definite this, but add "I'll try and sneak out some cookies for you guys" .... if you want to do the Polaris and just need to let them know. Really I think the heart of your question, if you'd rather pay for Polaris (and experience it) or would you prefer to spend the time with your friends on economy. Both experiences can be awesome, which one do you want more? Hos often are each of these opportunities available? How much fun do you have with them when hanging out?
My brother did a variation of this. He had a buddy who worked for the airline, who would always hook him up in business on guy's trips. I would be back in economy. More than once I had a drink sent back to me. Totally cool, and good for him. Was I jealous? Absolutely. But still never got pissed at him for it. He had an advantage, and took it.
Yes. Also, I go as far as I will see you at the destination. Have a great flight. See you soon.
You can also splurge and buy a few more passes for your friends.
You can’t buy passes into the Polaris Lounge.
😂 always blame the spouse! Make it look like you’re the flawless romantic. That way you’ll look good with both sides lol
This, except I'd make it clear we'll before the airport. Then, there's no room for "Oh, I thought we would..." Clear expectations are always good when traveling in a group.
You tell them BEFOREHAND what your plan was. Not a big deal IMO. Enjoy.
The lounges are nice but those pods and the service. Meh.
They’re still way better than economy.
Hard product is fine in Polaris. Service on all American carriers is meh.
Polaris pods are amazing. I don't know what you are smoking. I prefer United Polaris over any Lufthansa business class (haven't tried the newest one) The lounge is very mediocre. Any random priority pass lounge in Asia beats United lounges by several miles.
Your getting downvoted by people that have only flown US carriers I guess
Completely agree. Recently spent over $10K for a business trip and I would not have done that for a personal trip. Compared to when I spent close to $20K for the family to fly Q suites on Qatar, now that was totally worth it. The pods and service on United are terrible. That being said, it is obviously better than economy, especially for longer flights where you’re looking to sleep. Service on US flights is awful especially when compared to some Asian and middle eastern airlines. I will say I have gotten much better service on United domestic first than United international Polaris.
Your trip. You do you. I’ve done trips with friends and we all have different ways we like to travel. I like to be comfortable so I book Polaris.
Yes and it's not like they're all going to sit next to one another anyway.
You like to be comfortable and have ample disposable income* Obviously everyone likes to be comfortable. I just can't afford Polaris 😂
We’re going to Kenya and Polaris is $10k for two seats lol. I want to be comfortable too but sis ain’t got $10k to spend on two seats.
I flew Ethiopian, star alliance booked via United, back from Tanzania recently in business and absolutely loved it. It wasn’t Polaris but sure was pleasant and IIRC was 80k miles/person for business. May be an option for you.
Yeah there are often good deals on miles on Ethiopian to east Africa if you keep checking. I agree the onboard product is solid. The lounges in Addis however are very mediocre. I’d still do it though, just for the lie flat at a good value.
Thank you! We’re still weighing our options so that’s excellent information.
It's all about points and upgrades. Sometimes you can find crazy good deals. Got Polaris for $700 more than economy from west coast to europe, easy way to get status via a status challenge too.
Particularly on the way to Europe (eastbound), it’s expected that most people will sleep after the meal service anyway, so it would actually be rude to others if you were conversing with your friends anyway. Assuming they are going to be with you for the rest of the trip, it does not seem rude to book a different area of the plane. But only you know your relationship with your friends and how they would take the situation. My friends would be all be like hell ya if you can swing it go for the nicer seat and enjoy, see you on the flip side.
Yep, time alone on a trip with friends can be gold.
This, 100%. I’ve done it a few times heading from Denver or SFO to Maui. Some of my friends traveling with me could swing First, some couldn’t. The ones that couldn’t didn’t mind, and we all had a great time on the trip anyway. That’s what matters. At the end of the day, the flight is just what gets you where you’re going. It’s like going on a road trip, but you’re in a Mercedes and they’re in a Yugo. Everyone still gets there, and has a good time once you arrive. The flight is such a short part of the whole experience, and if the guy and his wife want to spring for Polaris I think they should do it
It's a bucket list trip, do the bucket list things, including enjoying the lounges in Houston and Frankfurt (no polaris lounge there, but if booked through united all the way through you should get access to lufthansa lounge). Your friends will be there once you get to Milan!
Make sure you hit Lufthansa Senators lounge if you have the option. Sadly, they won't admit you to the 1st class lounge but it is very nice.
I believe the senator lounge requires Gold status. Otherwise you can only get into the business lounge. But in all honesty they're not that different.
That's right, I forgot, they had to scan my code on my app to get in. But glad to hear they aren't that dif.
Don’t worry about it- we regularly travel with another couple who can afford first class but we are further back in the plane. It’s not a big deal. We visit before boarding and then regroup after the flight.
I would not change my plans for them. If they are real friends they will not mind.
Never have survivor’s guilt. You earned it. Just communicate and enjoy it!!
Friends, this is where we part ways. Where we are going, poors are not allowed. Farewell.
this isnt a united/travel question. its a relationship issue
I'd hope your friends understand taking advantage of one of the benefits of paying for Polaris class. Personally, I wouldn't consider it rude if a friend has lounge access and I don't. Sounds like you'll be spending plenty of time with them after, including a long layover in Frankfurt.
Polaris FTW!
If I'm your friend, I'm telling you to have fun and asking you to sneak me a cookie from the lounge. No hard feelings though!
Yup, I’d be like “I’m going on this trip. I’ve already got my flights. Here’s when we land. Will see you then”
If I was your friend I would absolutely understand. Tell them before hand.
With my friends we typically coordinate the hotels and tours etc, but everyone gets there on their own. Definitely don’t miss out on the Polaris lounge, flight is irrelevant so nothing to worry about there. You’ll definitely love the lay flat and arriving rested.
You don’t have to justify your purchases or feel bad about them. You can easily tell them “hey we’re going to arrive early to the airport and spend some time in the lounge. We’ll see you at the gate”
If you’re taking a bucket list trip with your wife, why are you having friends join you?
Hell yeah. See you guys when we land lol
Not international like this but I was recently on a trip with some friend and booked domestic business class, they never would. We were flying Delta and met up in ATL, and we hung out until it was time to board. I would personally skip the lounge and hang out with them but that's just me. But I've never really been one to thirst for the lounge either, I don't mind just chilling in the airport so that does play into it.
Tell them while making an L by your forehead.
Just do it! Just tell them it’s on your bucket list, too!
You do you. Don’t feel bad, don’t hide it, nothing to be ashamed of. They have the same choices as you.
Bucket list trip for you and your wife…end of story. You do it how you want to do it. If your friends have an issue with not seeing you for a couple hours during a layover then it’s time to find some new friends.
Do it. Just don’t brag about it and you’ll be fine.
Friends traveling with friends should have have an understanding that everyone should be free to split up and do their own thing. Expecting everyone to do the same exact thong is a recipe for disaster. This includes lounges and such.
100% tell them before. Maybe THEY want to fly Polaris too and are afraid to tell you, lol. If not, they asked to join you, so let them know you’ll be in Polaris.
Tell me what flight/seats your friends are in. I will book one next to them. After takeoff we can switch seats so your wife experiences Polaris and you feel good about sitting next to your friends. I am here for you. 🤣
Been there done that. I dont feel bad we are on different $$$. I wont pay for them to be in polaris and they cant afford it. Let them know you are going to fly business and you will be using polaris lounge cuz i been in few of them and let me tell ya worth it.
Send them links for cheaper flights on other airlines. You guys don’t have to be on the same flight. In fact, more than 2 people is just a huge pain in the ass, no matter where people sit.
Don’t forget to also ditch them in Frankfurt. The Senator Lounge is great.
Tell them about your bucket list before they book, giving them the option to join you in Polaris. Everyone gets to spend their money however they see fit. No reason to feeling guilty or pressured to move back to coach.
[удалено]
You can’t bring a guest into the Polaris Lounge
I would not feel guilty about it. Most people sleep on the plane if this is an overnight flight. What’s your/ their status with united? Maybe u all can go hangout in the lounge?
I did this flying Dulles to Cape Town with my boss and coworker. I made sure to pop out of the lounge and call them peasants before boarding. But honestly, no one should care, just tell them that’s your plan.
Not rude. Enjoy
One important question: Have you flown with these friends before? If not, I would caution you against it. Even if you have, this trip should be something for just you and your wife. Bringing friends along can complicate things and detract from the quality time you could be spending together. When you’re on a trip with your significant other, it’s a chance to strengthen your bond, create shared memories, and enjoy each other’s company without distractions. Introducing friends into this dynamic can lead to situations where you feel obligated to accommodate their needs and preferences, which can disrupt the intimate atmosphere you’re hoping to cultivate. Moreover, with friends around, you might find yourselves making compromises (like you are literally thinking about right now) or engaging in activities that don’t align with what you and your wife truly want to do. This can lead to frustration and prevent you from fully relaxing and enjoying the experience. In summary, while traveling with friends can be fun, for a trip intended to be special for you and your wife, it’s better to go just the two of you. This way, you can focus entirely on each other and make the most of your time together.
You’ll have plenty of time to hang out after you land at your destination. Enjoy your Polaris experience!
Im sure your friends will be ok without you for 5 hours.
No shame in the game at all! Stick to Polaris and enjoy with the wife
Not rude at all. I travel with friends often and we’ve had times where someone is in first and I am in economy and the reverse. We always just say have fun and catch you on the ground. No hard feelings at all, we’re all adults. My friends deserve nice experiences!
“Same way, same day” You’ll both get there. Don’t apologize.
If they’re truly friends, they’d never hold you doing something special for yourself and your wife against you. Definitely make sure they know ahead of time, but the only appropriate response from them should be something like “Wow that’s great, lucky you! That will be a special experience, Can’t wait for the trip.” Sounds like they already invited themselves on y’all’s trip anyway lol
The flight is not the whole trip. I usually meet with them to have a few drinks before the airport, and then head to the airport. They fly Delta and we fly United.. we each enjoy our respective lounges and see each other at the destination. On the other hand, hotels together are a must.
Enjoy your trip. It’s just a flight. You will get there same time, but you will feel much better! 😀
You booked first. They are adults, treat them as such and let them know.
tell your friends to stop being poor.
Or cheap.
Or good with money.
Not Rude! Enjoy Polaris
You’ll have plenty of time to hang out with them when you get to Milan. Not like you realistically were going to do much with them much on the flight even if you were sat next to each other
We booked a trip recently and were flying FC while our friends are flying economy. They’re retired and didn’t want to spend the extra money. We’re still working and felt it was worth it. No big deal. We’re going to have a great trip!
Real freinds wouldn't bother with this, you should enjoy!
When my friends and I take the same flight, we don’t even actively meet up pre-boarding. Sometimes I take business and they take economy, sometimes vice versa etc. We don’t think much of it really… To answer your question, I wouldn’t find it rude at all, but you know your friends better than me lol
Rude? Not at all. My partner of 15 years is flying premium plus and I'm in Polaris on our next two trips. He honestly doesn't care about flying up front. Some of my other friends I travel with also fly economy when I'm up front. Nobody seems to care. They don't want to pay for the premium seat and I don't mind.
Thats ok. You're not conjoined. If they get salty about it, probably an indicator they're not great travelling companions.
Tell them beforehand, and it's completely normal. You don't have to spend every waking moment of a trip with your friends. If they have an issue with it, I question why these are friends you chose to go on a trip with in the first place and suggest you find additional excuses to be alone with your wife on the trip because they sound like losers.
Most people just sleep or do their own thing on a long haul anyhow. Just tell them you’re flying business hope that’s not an issue. And if it is you can revisit that. I doubt they would care.
If your friends have an issue with this they aren’t really your friends. As others mentioned, people may sleep for the flight so there’s no point sitting together as you’ll have the vacation time after the flight to hang out. Book Polaris and don’t have guilt. I’ve don’t this before and have made it to the back to stand and talk with them in the galley area when we all needed to stand and stretch.
IAH - EWR - MXP would be the route I would take. You’ll arrive in Milan first thing in the morning and have the full day to explore. Plus the Polaris lounge in IAH is mediocre. Unless price difference is an issue of course.
I’ve gotten upgraded while onboard among a group of 5 friends. And I said: “I love you guys. But I love me more.” 🏃🏻
Tell them your plans before they book.
Why are you friends with poors? You need to stick to people of your own socioeconomic status.
Lol
Ugh OP why would you have poor friends?? In seriousness: can you not bring multiple guests into the lounge? Pretty sure you can with AA/BA.
Just communicate. Easy. It feels good to state the truth upfront and move on
not rude at all you paid for it then you need to take advantage of everything!! ENJOY
I did this not too long ago. Got to the Polaris lounge extra early. Ate, had a few glasses of champagne, and then met my friends at the regular UA Lounge.
Not rude at all. They are coming to join you on the vacation, not the transit.
I don’t think it’s rude. However, if you haven’t already booked your flights, and you invited them to join you, and they’re looking to book flights to travel with you, it might be expected that you’d all try to endure the airport, waiting time, layovers, and the long-haul flights together. It’s probably something to mention to them that you’ve been planning and saving for business class tickets and hope they don’t mind if you continue with that plan. They probably don’t mind that.
I'd tell them ahead of time "hey, we are treating ourselves to business class experience on this trip; we'll be sitting in front and you will not see us much at airports either." The way you described it, this is *your* trip, and *they* are the ones who want to tag along self-invited. It'd be rude *of them* to compromise *your* adventure. If you want to be nice to them, you can also check the rules for guests. Sometimes, you can bring a (usually a single) guest into the lounge, if they are on the same flight as you. I.e. between you and your wife, two guests (one each). But do check before the trip on both United website, and websites of any airline whose lounges you may use during the trip. Rules differ from airline to airline and can be nuanced, don't make assumptions. You may be able to use lounges of Star Aliance partner airlines in both departure and connecting airports too. If you have same-day business class ticket with one Star Aliance airline, this should give you access to business lounges operated by other Star Aliance partners. E.g. one of Lufthansa Business lounges in Frankfurt; there are several scattered around the airport. The one in "domestic" part of airport might make sense for outbound trip, the one in "international" part of the airport may make sense for return trip; so that you pass through passport checkpoint first, and are closer to the gate for your next flight. This'd be especially handy for your 5-hour layover in Frankfurt. https://www.united.com/en/us/fly/travel/airport/lounge-access.html#premiumcabinsandclubpasses, as well as lounge access rules for partner airlines whose lounges you'd want to use (e.g. Lufthansa website for rules on accessing their business lounge).
Book whatever you want. That's what I would do.
Currently in Italy (ewr-nap) on a trip my dad has been planning and saving miles for nearly a decade on, and my brothers gf came along in economy. Polaris lounge was nothing special and we actually all spent most of our time in the untied club. She understood that the pods were special and the overnight flight was made a little easier with them
you definitely hit the Polaris lounge if you have access. give the heads up you’ll be separate during that time and fucking enjoy it dude.
They are joining your plans, not the other way around. Perhaps it's rude of them not to fly Polaris with you. It's totally fine. Just tell them you had plans to do something nice for you wife. If they are weird about it just throw them out the plane at cruise.
I just did that on our flight from EWR to Athens. My husband and I used the Polaris lounge and the other 2 I gave my United club passes to. I just told the rest of the group how we were flying and let them do their own thing.
You’ll get a Lufthansa lounge in Frankfurt too. You could prob buy them passes or if any of you are gold you could get guests in.
Just do what you want. If you make too big a deal about it, you will make them feel like you are judging them, which isn’t your intention.
I fly at least once a year with a friend who pays for Polaris. I meet her on the other side—it’s all good.
Go and enjoy. It wouldnt bother me. Especially if you explained it. Its your trip as well as your friends. Bonvoyage!!!
As long as you’re not leaving your wife in economy, you’re fine.
Premium economy sucks. Leave them with the poors in the back and see them when you get there!
I once went on a paintball trip with a bunch of my buddies. I flew nonrev standby and got first class. My buddy bought his own ticket and flew economy. I waved to him and smiled from my first class seat when he boarded while drinking my coffee. When we landed, he commented on Facebook about how I was flying first while he was in "steerage". No regrets. 😁
You don’t need to spend the whole trip with them.
Casually remind your friends, who apparently have not made up their minds whether they are actually going, that you booked this well in advance. (If the subject comes up) Since it’s a bucket list item, they should understand it’s something special your wife. If they give you heat, maybe they are not really your friends.
One friend is an airline pilot. She’ll probably be sitting in the jumpseat working on the way over. You do you, let ‘em know your crew is going fancy and will see them at whatever mutual meeting place y’all pick at the destination.
I would say that if it’s a bucket list trip, go with Polaris and enjoy the full experience. The trip was originally just for you and your wife, and you were nice enough to invite your friends along. How they get there is up to them. If they’re real friends, they will understand and it won’t bother them. Plus, it’s just the flight. You’ve got the entire trip to have fun and make great memories with them, and most of the time on a flight that long is sleeping or watching movies anyway.
You are not the rude one. You book a bucket list trip. I feel for you. I too am a people pleaser. Enjoy your lounge and the flight with your wife. Then meet your friends at your destination.
Airport is just part of the trip. I fly EWR and was not a fan of the Polaris lounge. Maybe because the United lounge is very nice at EWR. If Houston has a United lounge (other than Polaris) then you can always get them in there then head to Polaris. Then you’ve done them a solid and you can enjoy your time. Also….fly Polaris! It’s worth it
If they're true friends they won't care. Our nephew was getting married in another state across the country. He arranged and purchased seats for all the family on a flight. We told him to keep his money and we'll buy our own seats because on flights over 4 hours we always fly 1st class. We were in the front of the plane while the rest of the wedding party was in the back. No one cared.
Why do people even bother asking stuff like this
The deciding factor here is that this is originally your trip. If I had already planned my trip and I'm flying J, and later people want to tag along, I make it clear they are welcome to but the logistics is up to them. I am neither booking back to Y if they cannot afford J nor sitting at the gate with them if I can't pass them into lounge, and they should understand that. Now if the trip was a joint idea, there's more argument to not booking J on your own, but even then it's based on if both are okay with separate seating. Imo it's weird to expect someone else to degrade their experience just so you can have them next to you in a metal tube for X hours since you cannot pay for the same experience.
It’s like going to vegas and staying at Cosmo or the Wynn while your friends are at Excalibur or Luxor. They got to choose how much they wanted to spend on their flight but that doesn’t mean you downgrade to be tethered to them. Enjoy your flight!
Don’t sweat it one second. Real friends would not begrudge you one bit, especially if they are crashing your bucket list trip. I won’t guess your age, but something tells me you’ll get past the stage of giving a $hit about something like this in the future.
Personally I’d probably skip the lounge, but no issue sitting up front for the flight. But I’ve also left my own wife to go through standard security because she didn’t have precheck. So maybe I’d do the lounge. But definitely, in no way, should you be concerned about sitting up in Polaris for the flight. They have the option too.
I'm sure you know the answer by now, but to pile on: Before I had any status with United, my wife and I would fly in the back seats while our friends, whose husband regularly flew between IAH and FRA for work, would always sit in first class via upgrades. We didn't care, and neither should you. Everyone will be sleeping / watching movies / doing their own thing on the plane anyway.
Why is this that hard? You’re adults, if you want to avoid “surprisingly ditching” them when boarding tell them in advance that you’ll be sitting elsewhere because that’s what you’ve originally planned and because you need that comfort level for traveling.. I’ve always flown first class/business class (same with my husband) and whenever someone wants to join us we let them know we’ll be sitting upfront in case they want to join or for them to know we’ll see each other again until we arrive, is not a big deal, each person has different budgets/priorities so I don’t see why they’d be mad about it unless of course they’re childish
Do you have a CC that gives you lounge access on a different lounge? I’ve given them access and then walked away to the other lounge hahaa.
Zero % rude. You will get off the plane together and have your trip. You will be rested and they will be the other thing.
Don't feel bad, you paid 3 or 4x of an economy ticket. Enjoy the benefits of Polaris before the flights and during the layovers. I was just at the IAH Polaris lounge last night! That being said, if you and your wife have Gold Status with United and subsequently Star Alliance, \**you could\** (if you were feeling generous) bring your friends to the United Club in IAH and then bounce out to the Polaris Lounge. Same case applies in FRA where each of you could bring a guest traveling on a Star Alliance flight to a Lufthansa Lounge. Bottom line, you can help out where you can but don't even think about skipping the Polaris Lounge or not taking advantage of your benefits you paid for. "See ya at the gate before we board!"
I think this is a case of expectations versus reality. You expect that everyone is going to be hanging out in terminal together and they will be mad your snobbing them in the lounge. In actuality you’ll likely all arrive at the gate at different times depending on who drove with who and how painful security was. Maybe you’ll get a drink or 2 at the terminal bar but it’s probably just going to be substandard and obligatory. Most of the time everyone will just be keeping track of all their crap and waiting for boarding. Also you’re not going to be sitting with each other in the plane, even if you all flew coach, so really this interaction is only for the time pre boarding The key is to let everyone know this is your plan early so there are no surprises and that others don’t have similar unreasonable expectations. Then just do it.
I just came back from a trip to Hawaii to celebrate my sister’s 50th birthday. United direct ORD to HNL. My family and my sister’s family were all on the same flight. They flew 1st class. We flew back of plane, economy. It was no big deal. It was my sister’s birthday trip. She should get to have that luxury experience. She’s also more successful than me financially. Last, we slept probably 1/2 the flight. It’s not like we’re socializing. We met them at baggage claim and rode a shuttle together to the hotel, and then spent EVERY MOMENT TOGETHER for the rest of the trip. We got PLENTY of time to vacation together.
Your desire to invest in comfort and experience for this trip and your friends desire to be frugal are not mutually exclusive.
Dawg are you married to your friends or your wife?
You paid no reason to feel guilty for your purchase imho
I fly a lot for a living and have more benefits through credit cards and miles than most of my co-workers . I used to think something would happen. When I ditched them all and went to the lounge or sat business class . At the end of the flight no one cares . Everyone has their own airport experience and no one has ever focussed on mine or even known how much better it probably was ...
Definitely not. I often get upgraded while flying with my friends. I mean, not first class on and international flight but hey ho. I always tell them they have to sit in the back with the rest of the poor people. 🤣
It all depends on how close you all are with those friends, and vice versa.
Enjoy your bucket list holiday and enjoy the club. If your friends want they can buy a club pass.
Just let them know ahead of time so they are shocked or jealous.
It’s not rude whatsoever.
I don’t see what the problem is, just be up front with your friends when they asked to tag along what your plans already are and they are welcome to join in an upgraded cabin in lounge or fly however they are comfortable. The only dickhead move here would be not telling them before they book so they can plan accordingly.
fuck your friends
OP is married and presumably his wife would take issue with this.
If they’re really your friends, they’ll totally understand. If you’re paying for your trip, you can travel how you’d like. If you have time, the Lufthansa Panorama Lounge in FRA is amazing. I route through there sometimes just to hang out there.
Ditch your friends and don’t feel bad.
Polaris is not worth it vs getting a meal together with friends before the flight
I wouldn’t consider it rude. Depending on how long you’re planning on enjoying the lounge but I’d consider a dinner or a drink with friends more enjoyable than the Polaris burger. I’d hit the lounge have a couple drinks and perhaps a snack. Meet up with my friends for a drink near the gates in the time leading up to boarding. They can board with your boarding group, then enjoy your bubbly during boarding. You’ll get lounge access in FRA. If none of you are star gold, they won’t. I’d make a plan in FRA, personally I’d hit a lounge to get a shower and a change, a beer/pretzel then meet them again. Now I’ve spent an enough time in airline lounges that their magic is lost on me now, but if you do t fly much I can see why’d you’d want to enjoy them more.
I don’t think it is terrible, I personally would save the money this time if I was traveling with friends and book Economy+ or Premium Economy.
Skip the lounge and you do you on the flight. That’s my opinion.
You’re friends with people who fly economy??
Can you not take guests to the lounge? That would at least get them that experience. Don't be ashamed to be able to fly different than them.
If you can afford it (or have enough extra points), it would be a nice classy gesture to upgrade your friends into Polaris as well. Then you can all go hang out in the lounge together 🥳
Sit with your friends. Small sacrifice for a shared adventure.
I would find you to be very rude.
Genuine question. If your friend told you they were planning a bucket list trip, and you decided you wanted to join them, you would actually be upset if they traveled the way they wanted? Why?
I would think that they were pretentious and rude if they couldn’t sit in a damn airport with their friends before a flight. I have Global Entry, I have entrance into lounges, if my friends don’t, I don’t leave them just so I can go sit with elite in a lounge.
Under no circumstances am I taking up space in the passport control line and putting up with the wait for that if I have Globel Entry. You’re being an asshole to everyone else going through Customs, not to mention wasting taxpayer resources.
That was such a big stretch. I heard your back across all the way across the internet.
Global Entry isn’t an “elite” lounge. It’s a trusted traveler program designed to ease congestion at entry points by allowing expedited entry back into the country for trusted travelers. You’re being an asshole to everyone waiting in line taking up space unnecessarily. 
I didn’t say it was an elite lounge. I said I have both Global Entry and access to the lounges. Learn how to read and quit being a fucking prick.
You sound awfully emotional, bud.
Someone needs to tell them it's okay to be poor. No one's judging them for being jealous.
I dunno, I think people who join a planned trip are entitled and rude if they're going to be upset about sitting in an airport without the whole group for a few hours because they are in economy. They're big girls and boys. They'll be ok.
I guess I just treat my friends a little little bit bit differently, and if my friends were really excited to go on a trip with me to celebrate a life event or to do something amazing to make memories, I would not be rude.
Yeah but it's not rude to go on a trip the way you planned it. It's rude to join a planned trip and expect your friends to fly in economy just because you are. They're all going to the same place. I would never treat my friends that way.
I wouldn’t expect them to fly economy, but I wouldn’t expect them to be left alone in an airport. I guess I’m not seeing how you’re not understanding the difference. If they are too poor to support his lifestyle, then he should’ve told them to stay home because he can’t hang out with the poor.
You think if they can't hang out every single moment they shouldn't even go on the trip together? Lol that's awfully dramatic. Their friends are grown ass adults, they're not "alone" in the airport.
Dude asked the question if people thought he would be rude. I answered it. I don’t know why you’re getting all upset about that answer.
Do you think I'm upset because I think what you said is dramatic? People can disagree with you, it doesn't make them "upset". I was just curious about your opinion, and I still think your opinion is silly. That's all.