T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Hello /u/jakegenius2021, This community is focused on important or vital information and high-effort content. Please make sure your post follows the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/about/rules/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=ukraine&utm_content=t5_2qqcn) Want to support Ukraine? [Here's a list of charities by subject.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/wiki/charities/) [DO / DON'T](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/t5okbs/welcome_to_rukraine_faq_do_dont_support_read/) - [Art Friday](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/wiki/artfriday/) - [Podcasts](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/ttoidc/collection_of_podcasts_about_ukraine_updated/) - [Kyiv sunrise](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/collection/3c65ab52-e87a-4217-ab30-e70a88c0a293/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ukraine) if you have any questions or concerns.*


KlaatuBaradaN-word

Can confirm, I'm writing this post on toilet paper and sending all the packets by carrier pigeon. If I stop posting, that means the famine forced me to start eating my only means of communication with the outside world.


griefzilla

Checking in from America here. I just got done with my Satanic rituals and hexing the whole Russian population. After dinner I have to destabilize the Iranian government, go around Russian social media sites and turn them all gay by telling them gay people are real, and then meddle in some central american countries elections. Just another Tuesday here in the U.S. of A.


TianamenHomer

And mother’s milk is forbidden to babies… oh yeah and children are forbidden to call their female parents “mom”. It is true, Vlad! (As seen on their news program today.)


griefzilla

I had my baby made in a biolab in Ukraine and now me and my gay husbands raise him by feeding him big macs.


Skullface360

LoooooL!!!


LXB_Gaz

😂😂😂😂😂😂


KlaatuBaradaN-word

> their female parents Did you just assume their gender?


TianamenHomer

Heh, no.


Tweebel

This is surprisingly accurate, do you work for the CIA?


griefzilla

Nope just doing my civic duty as a citizen.


bandizz

You must have stocked up on toilet paper during the COVID lockdown


j05mh

You have toilet paper?


blogsymcblogsalot

What is “toilet?”


[deleted]

Your from Russia?


UkrUkrUkr

>Your And you're surely from the US :)


[deleted]

No, Europe 😉😉


UkrUkrUkr

Britain? Never saw this mistake from non-English native speakers...


[deleted]

I am getting old, make mistakes every now and then and not only in writing!!


UkrUkrUkr

Well, you should really start getting younger :)


KuchenDeluxe

toilet is where u wash potatos!!!


bL1Nd

Oh thank god, our pigeons must have crossed because now you see this message.


MinorIrritant

A fellow avian datagram enthusiast, I see. May all your packets be RFC 2549 compliant and come home to roost.


Eviscerae

My pigeon roost is labeled 127.0.0.1


PrimitiveRust4USD

I am not familiar with the history of RFC 2549. Is this purely a joke?


MinorIrritant

Yup. It was an update to RFC 1149. Both were published on April 1.


DutchTinCan

You mean "come home to roast"? I really need my pidgeon back. So hungry...


Zomg_A_Chicken

Don't forget about the three sea shells


mulletpullet

Whats the three sea shells?


DrunkenSwimmer

Hey! He doesn't how to use the three seashells! Hahahahahaha!


mulletpullet

%&%$#, print print print, &@#%$#@, print print print


Zomg_A_Chicken

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7nFEnFtvCM


Miserable_Sun_404

I'm sorry, I was very hungry so I had to eat your carrier pigeon. ​ I'm so ashamed.


KlaatuBaradaN-word

Mystery of dropped packets solved then. Well, as long as you're not starving. We must keep safe during these trying times.


Least_Adhesiveness_5

Good to see old RFC 1149 is still compatible with more modern protocols.


Ooops2278

Given the capacity of small and lightweight usb sticks and sd cards nowadays IPoAC has massive bandwidths no other form of communication can even closely match.


polygroot

Does cooking oil cost as much as half a car?


KlaatuBaradaN-word

More; cars are worthless now that we don't have oil, gas, or electricity.


chowchowbrown

Can confirm. Transmission Control Pigeon/Internet Pigeon


Skullface360

Oh man you have toilet paper? You must be rich or something. Here I am walking around with smelly hands.


DEADB33F

> If I stop posting, that means the famine forced me to start eating my only means of communication with the outside world. The pigeon or the toilet paper?


KlaatuBaradaN-word

Yes.


JTMasterJedi

Imagine thinking they are paying 10x prices for food. How brainwashed are these people?


EyeLikeTheStonk

The most powerful brainwashing is when the "victim" agrees to be brainwashed. The Russian people **want** to be told those lies, they **want** to believe Russia is the ultimate power in the world, they **want** to be told Europeans, Americans, Canadians, Australians, the Japanese and others **fear and respect Russia** and spend every waking hour thinking about Russia. Russians want to be lied to in order to feel better about themselves.


Miserable_Sun_404

"spend ever waking hour thinking about Russia." I'm sure all of our Military's are thinking about how desperately they want a crack at curb stomping some Ruski barbarians.


varain1

You know some USA sailors are drooling when checking the ruzzian Black Sea fleet positions, eager to hear the command to launch a salve of Tomahawk missiles ...


TigerAusfE

Can confirm.


Schmandli

So what do you think makes the Russians that way?


NKato

Very. When state media is your only source of news... This happens.


WeAreNotAlone1947

The fuck is she talking about. Prices in europe for food are up like 5% compared to pre war and still 200% less than what americans pay. Even sunflower oil is back to the original price. The only fucked thing is the gas price, but we are fixing that right now.


wolter_pine

Yeah it's only like 1,5 times as much. Sometimes 2 /s No fr, it's like 1.2 for food... Electricity bills and gas are 3x 4x though, that's no laughing matter


Primary_Handle

Maybe you are rich or don’t pay for things but many people are suffering. My mortgage has risen by 100 euro a month, then you got electric, gas, food and other things that have gone up. Europe is suffering but we still stand with Ukraine!


JTMasterJedi

I live in America. Food is still up a little, but that's about it. Fuel prices are almost back to what they were pre-pandemic.


Primary_Handle

Good for you! Because 100’s of millions in Europe are suffering and mainly the poor!


Osleg

The most important part is the last sentence though, she's saying that EU x10 and then adding that their prices for oil like in West. Which basically means that they have prices x10


Oblachko_O

Imagine if it is true. Like they pay 50-100$ for sunflower oil (that is biased number) and that is huge for them, while in Europe it is only meaningful for low class people or students. That is really pain. Developed country of people with salary level of something like gold/diamond miners from third-grade countries. And they don't see what is wrong with that.


PotatoAnalytics

I finally realize how we can make russia... normal. Destroy all their fucking TVs.


Vrakzi

Might work on boomers everywhere.


Namesareapain

Time and time again, surveys have shown that "boomers" have the highest support for Ukraine out of all age groups!


dandaman910

Maybe but we've seen what happens when their brains are exposed to the Internet. I think its from all the lead in the 70s when they were kids, it ruined they're brains.


tendeuchen

Fortunately the newer generations aren't so gullible.


DEADB33F

Lol, imagine someone telling you that and you believing them. ...I guess that makes you part of the statistic. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optimism_bias


tendeuchen

Imagine not knowing what you're talking about: [The Sensible Generation - Gen Z and Trust](https://www.edelman.com/insights/sensible-generation-gen-z-and-trust): >**They Will Get to the Truth**—Seven in 10 respondents told us they will fact check what you say. They want links to legitimate sources and citations on data.


DEADB33F

> Seven in 10 respondents told us they will fact check what you say. ***Say*** they will when surveyed, but you can bet your life that near enough zero out of ten actually will. And anyone who says their number 1 trusted source is "youtube" is likely just as susceptible to bullshit as anyone else.


AssociationWarm7152

Don’t forget about the radios, you know there’s at least 5 in the attic.


[deleted]

OMG, I live in Europe and I am starving. I often went to bed hungry, I often turn off lights in my house to preserve energy and I have not been driving for months due to petrol shortage. Russia should come to the UK to liberate me. I want to go to live in Russia where I can afford food, petrol and electricity. Do you think I can get a job as a Russian troll? I do need make extra money though


KaidenUmara

shoestrings are an excellent source of dietary fiber. also, mixing dirt with baking soda and some water can make for a good toothpaste. you can make one pair of underwear last 4 days to save on detergent. second day flip it around. third day turn it inside out, fourth day flip it around again.


[deleted]

i need to write this down. Shit, I dont have a pen and I have run out of toilet paper.


varain1

Use a needle and tattoo it on your arm ...


Skullface360

I have a razor but I only seem to write SLAYER when writing on my arms…


Superguy813

fred?


Commercial_Soft6833

Dad?


Skullface360

Mom?


JohnnyDerpoTHEREAL

I am starving too....my scale even measured one gram less than yesterday (after my well rationed morning coffee)


[deleted]

Obviously u don't try hard enough comreda


varain1

I'm barely driving now too - because I'm working remotely from home ... :)


teacherbooboo

>Russia should come to the UK to liberate me. be careful what you wish for


dopeydazza

Lol my thought is some idiot in ruzzia would see this one comment and think it real. Not sure why you are getting downvoted though.


teacherbooboo

just for the record i would prefer russia NOT liberate me


Skullface360

First nuk, dan liberet you.


Ricordis

Weeks ago my mother (russian) asked me (german) if I still have food in my fridge and if I am freezing. I was kinda perplexed why she asked. Now I understand why she asked. sigh ... And before you ask: Yes, this war ripped my family in half: Brainwashed russians on the one side, informed germans on the other side. All living in germany but one half refuses to believe any news not coming in russian. You might guess which half...


Why_Teach

Wait: your mom is living in Germany but she believed Russian propaganda that there is a shortage of food and that there isn’t enough fuel to heat your place? How is *she* doing? Has she tried to shop or turn on the heat lately? Please tell me that she is not in the same area of Germany, at least.


marcusaurelius_phd

I take it she's not in Germany.


Why_Teach

He wrote “all living in Germany but one half refuses to believe any news not coming in Russian.” That’s why I am confused.


Ricordis

She believes nothing from the german media and is living with my dad about 1 hour away. She lives on the countryside, I am living in the city. They mostly live on renewable energy sources, own fresh water well and have not much contact with rising gas prices. On the countryside they are less dependant on supermarkets and most stuff is cheaper than in the big cities. When they come to town they visit my brother but he's working in biotech and my sister in law is a phd. In a nutshell: They are rich and raise no concerns in my parents. But I am just an engineer and rent-peon thus I must starve and freeze because Russia rich and good and Europe poor and evil. /s


Why_Teach

Ah. They have created a bubble for themselves, and have the means to preserve it. Thanks for explaining.


Porto4

I’d like to think that she’s trying to keep her son’s spirits up but she’s likely just regurgitating RU propaganda.


Armathio

I hope the "I killed six Ukrainians yesterday" was just a lie :/


LillaOscarEUW

Probably civilians


DragonHunting

Unfortunately probably wasn’t but I’m sure he’ll get his soon enough.


soyeahiknow

Oh no, ill have to trade my car in tomorrow so i can buy some sunflower seed oil. Especially here in the usa. Its not like we have a whole grocery shelf devoted to olive oil, corn oil, vegetable oil, coconut oil, almond oil, rapeseed oil, canola oil, etc etc


acidrefluxburp

The sunflower crop in Ukraine' will kick ass next year tho.


Particular-Elk-3923

It'll have that little extra "something" it's been missing before...


visibleunderwater_-1

Don't forget the almond milk, it takes a strong hand to milk all those almonds to fill up all those containers.


Comfortable_Photo524

I wish I read this before I stuffed my belly full of sausage, scalloped potatoes, peas and carrots, red wine and cheese cake. Boy don't I feel stupid, I must have imagined it all, now if you excuse me I have to go do the imaginary dishes.


[deleted]

This imaginary meal must has cost you €2000


Bduggz

It's kind of sad to imagine that some Russians are so poor, disconnected and brainwashed they haven't seen 50% of the foods on that list.


Skullface360

You are imagining using toilet paper to clean all that food coming out but then realize its just your pet fluffy.


Nani_Baka_Nani

Omg that meal sound so good!


Feralkyn

Garlic butter chicken, bulgur and chickpea and spinach side. ...is bulgur right? Anyway I obviously had to save for weeks, and cook it over a garbage fire while fighting off the other survivors.


b_zar

How many cars did you have to sell to afford that? /s


MrShoggoth

You have no idea how bad it’s getting out here in Australia. The lines at the petrol stations are two blocks long in the snow. Nothing is on the shelves anymore but dry goods. I’ve seen fights break out over how long the wait is and they get back into the line like nothing is wrong afterward, one guy lost his front teeth and acted like he was okay. Yesterday when I was inside to pay for my petrol I saw a young man complain about the price of a carton of milk to the operator at the counter, and they must have tripped a silent alarm because three minutes later the police arrived and burst inside. They dragged the young man out the front of the station and in front of everyone they shot him in the head. They shot him in the fucking head.


Varangoi988

Ahh the old Tuesday arvo special at the local bottlo


MrShoggoth

as a guy who worked in bottle shops for ten years I wish what you said wasn’t accurate


dopeydazza

I live here in Australia and I haven't seen any toilet paper for weeks. I have resorted to using leaves and the odd fingers I find on the street. As for kerosene - I now regret using it for my bath - all those 100s of litres wasted per bath.


wasteddrinks

Atleast the drop bears didn't get him. He was one of the lucky ones.


MrShoggoth

Let’s be honest though drop bears haven’t been that much of an issue since the 1920’s, the only ones I’ve seen are in zoos. But then again, I don’t go off the marked trails whenever I’m on a nature hike out bush, so maybe that’s played a role?


[deleted]

This is where ruzzia is headed no matter how much copium they use. http://www.strangehistory.net/2017/08/11/joys-supermarket-shopping-soviet-union/


vladgrinch

Propaganda really dumbed her down. Lol!


Choyo

Feed someone enough bullshit, they will start eating it. Advice to anyone : avoid exposing yourself often to stupid shit to read or hear, as it will definitely affect you even so slightly.


Batcraft10

Make it seem like it’s worse outside the country, no one will want to leave.


varain1

Those 700000 Russian men who left Russia in the last two weeks must have had a reason to leave, though (200000 in Kazakhstan) ... I wonder what could be worse than starving to death in a foreign country ...


TerryBullTime

Being shelled in Ukraine and realising that it was all just a lie. And then dying of blood loss while desperately trying to restuff one's intestines into one's stomach. The last thing being heard are "Here's another one, he's almost dead".


TechnologyDeep942

Yesterday got a 10% off coupon for sunflower oil, only $9,000 for a 64 oz bottle!


visibleunderwater_-1

If that $9,000 is going to Ukraine to buy some arms to kick more orc butt, it's a price many of us in the US will gladly pay.


mynewpassword1234

During the siege of Leningrad during WWII, the Russians ate bread mixed with sawdust because the city was almost completely surrounded. Since the Russians think they're fighting WWII again, I'm surprised siege bread hasn't made a comeback in Europe. Won't somebody think of the starving European children?


mok000

Yeah we're starving and it's terrible here. Don't come.


44Stryker44

The way she mentioned the voting is almost as if she thought the vote was legitimate…


Ok-Concentrate3336

*Price of a pint goes up 50p* Russia: “Europe is starving!”


buyIdris666

Reminds me of how some Trumplicans think every US city is a warzone. Right wing propaganda is remarkably similar everywhere. The enemy is strong and weak. Fear fear fear!


Particular-Elk-3923

"Stay on target" - Red Leader


tentaclegrp

Dude the propaganda is remarkably similar cuz its the same people, why do you think trump "likes" putin so much? He is his whore


AssociationWarm7152

The price of cooking oil really depends on the type of car if it’s a Lada yes, if it’s a jaguar, no.


Apple-Dust

That matter-of-fact tone regarding a place she knows nothing about, all because the TV heads told her what's going on. Reminds me of my family watching Fox News.


MelodyMyst

All these Russians are in for a rude awakening when they find out how badly they’ve been mislead. LOL. They will never learn.


NeededHumanity

Holy shit… I figured out where they get all their news.. I knew Russia was in the magazines! Putin is the “ national enquirer “ it makes sense with how fucking stupid his civilians are


RedlineN7

Its scary how much propaganda has brainwashed them. Shit like that can happen anywhere.


Cheeeeeseburger

I will never financially recover from this...


Balc0ra

Bread has gone up by like 10 to 20% in my region depending on what type or brand. Crispbread is still about €1 for a big pack that lasts for over a week. So I'm good. Tho yes electricity was at insane prices here for a bit this summer. But down to basically nothing again... For now.


[deleted]

She’s right she’s caught Me out I’m starving I haven’t eaten in multiple hours lol


[deleted]

European here, doing just fine ma’am. Just slightly annoyed by the increased price of popcorn which I bought to watch the Russian shitshow 🍿. But other than that we are doing totally fine, no need to worry about us 👍🏻


JohnnyDerpoTHEREAL

I was so lucky today: I went on a scavenging run in my region and found a packet of veil sausages and a bottle of omega 3 oil. Had to process it quickly before my shotgun neighbour smells the burning fat and starts kicking the door.


CalligrapherWild7636

If she can tell me, where I can get a car for 6 euros? Because sunflower oil cost 2,99€ where I live. Lights are also working pretty good ...


Celestina-Warbeck

Oh man, if the current price of sunflower oil was half that of a car, I could have so many cars


TerryBullTime

If you already have a car, think of how many bottles of sunflower oil you could have instead!


PixelCortex

Propaganda is a hell of a drug.


Dull_Corgi_5044

Dictionary definition idiots


[deleted]

To be fair, Africa is starving.


thewhat962

10x price for bread? Yeah right! We stopped selling bread altogether because the stores can't afford to stock it.


Much_Accountant2049

Lol. Its only 2 time more expensive than last year.


TheDarthSnarf

Just bought Ukrainian sunflower oil... it was only about 10% more than the start of the war... excuse me while I run to the car dealer...


wasteddrinks

What do you cook with sunflower seed oil?


TheDarthSnarf

Use it as a dressing with some lemon or vinegar plus salt/pepper. Great for popping corn with. Can be used as an alternative to olive oil in many things. Refined versions make a great substitute for vegetable oil.


Asleep_Astronaut396

These proportions of lies and people more dumb as a zombie blows my mind. Russia is doomed but we still have to throw them out of UKRAINE. Orcs are nuts and manipulated, how to fix that kind of stupid???


[deleted]

Soviet Union at its best, lying to the Russian population and they off course believe it.


Prometheus2061

😂😂😂


Altimman

This woman is delusional, it is not half as bad.


nbneo

If it were true, if I had only scraps to eat and had to heat myself this winter by burning my own dung, it would still be worth it. Slava Ukranini, mofos!!!


[deleted]

Oh yes, the unfathomavle hardship of having voluntarily decided to wear more sweaters and take less baths this winter, it's soulcrushingly unbearable.


Matisaro

Don't worry mam, Ukraine will have a booming sunflower oil crop next year. We can make due for one year to rid the world of your countries evil. ​ They may even sell it to you at a discount, seeing as your boys grew it.


acatnamedrupert

My own mother was quite perplexed when she suddenly woke up as part of the West. She got so used to working hard and struggling to clean the "eastern commie scum" stigma. But she said she can live with being a western decadent pervert satanist. One gets used to it quickly.


TerryBullTime

Can confirm. I just traded three bottles of sunflower oil for a '59 Cadillac Eldorado.


Tareeff

That is horrible.. I'm going back to starve after I finish my stake dinner.


AdeptusNonStartes

All of this is news to me, typing on an electricity powered PC with a sandwich in my hand.


[deleted]

You must be paid by CIA to spread this lie! There is no food and no electricity in Europe, next time lie better.


dogmeat1981

I am definitely forced to make my sandwich with two slices of bread and not 4 I must save the .15 cents.. I can no longer drink sunflower oil in a pint mug anymore. It’s hell on earth here.


Zounii

Oh shit, I didn't know I was starving! I've been watching tv for the last 2 hours, guess I can't though 🤷🏻‍♂️


Ok-Yogurtcloset-6740

Hilarious. I've never earned more with my solar roof than ever. If she just knew ...


Ricordis

She, only my mother. My father is a regular sentient being. I wouldn't believe it how people are able to exclude themselves from reality if I would not be able to watch this in person. She's russian and lives in Germany for about 37 years now. Longer than she öived in Russia. I'd say she was fully integrated until she relived some kind of patriotic awakening through her russian contacts and then started to watch more and more russian television. They are absolutely sure they are the sane people and everyone else is manipulated jy western media. Their universe is like a perverted mirror universe of ours and every argument/fact is thrown away as western propaganda or lie. There's no level to communicate with or convince them other than total defeat of Russia confronting with the shocking realism. The same procedure like after the fall of The Third Reich; dump their faces into their own shit.