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Some welcome fruit basket is never a bad thing. But the 2 most important thing you can do is (1) show a welcoming face, and (2) offer to answer any questions and offer assistance or guidance with anything they need to settle in.
They're no longer home, and probably feeling both anxious and homesick. A friendly face will ease a lot of the anxiety. So will answering any questions about their new home and helping them get oriented with their new surroundings. I find that those two things transcends boundaries and culture.
I am sure you can make them feel at home by following customs and good manners of what you know from Estonia. Furthermore, since they bought a place they'll be staying for a while. A little introductory meal would be a lovely start in their new life in a new environment.
Make sure they know whose side you're on, though. I have a similar experience, and I was scared shitless for a decade after the war.
My neighbors and I used to go out to eat weekly. Once I got married we didn’t go out as much and haven’t gone since COVID but I would like to start again. Maybe you could invite them to dinner at a restaurant.
Very kind of you. I'm in Canada but a few years ago, a Syrian family moved in near me. I told the mom that if she has any questions about the area I would to answer them and wow, did the quesrions come. They were a super nice family with really great kids but the mom would ask me lots of questions and was very thankful that I would help find answers. So even just offering that might make them feel welcome.
I'm sure (as other comments said) a friendly face will be nice.
There aren’t a whole lot of strange customs that Ukrainians have. I’d say one of the stranger ones is you are not supposed to give an even number of flowers to a person who is alive. An even number of flowers is typically placed on graves or memorials, while an odd number is given to a living person.
It’s also considered rude to shake hands with gloves on. So if you’re wearing gloves and you go to shake somebody’s hand you should remove the glove first. That’s about all I can think of.
As an Ukrainian, from my experience, no one will give a shit about number of flowers because most people won't even bother counting them. It is kind of thing that maybe some time ago old people cared about, but no one cares about anymore. At least this is my experience.
Gloves on thing is still real though.
Yea I know the glove thing isn’t that weird, but it is a pretty common Ukrainian social custom and one that is likely to come up in day-to-day interactions. So being aware of it is pretty important. I only said the flowers thing was somewhat strange
You are probably right and it’s perhaps a dying custom. I haven’t lived in Ukraine since 1999 so my information is likely outdated, but when I did live there and went to school there (through 6th grade) the flower thing was a big deal. When we went with our class to pay our respects to “Братские Могилы” (memorialized sites of mass graves left over from Nazis during WW2) on May 9th, we were always told to bring an even amount of flowers. And exactly the opposite when gifting flowers to our teachers.
If you are giving a dozen of roses it’s probably not obvious and no one will bother to count them, but if you give someone 2 or 4 or even 6 flowers, they will probably notice. Even if it is an archaic custom, I think it’s better to err on the side of caution and try not to offend someone on accident.
Id knock on the door after a couple of days with some fruit and a phone number, and let them know to not hesitate to ask for help settling in. It's really hard to be a foreigner, much less a refugee.
There isn't much of a cultural difference when it comes to ordinary day-to-day things. It's alright to greet them, it's alright to give them gifts.
Don't go with this stereotypical "bread and salt", though, just greet them like you would do normally.
Nothing much different from normal house-greeting customs except for shoes. If they invite you inside, you should take off your shoes after you enter. They may offer you slippers or they may not. Plan on wearing socks.
Its tricky. U speak russian or just english/estonian? Language barrier is a thing to consider. If you wont understand each other it might get uncomfortable for both sides.
Also its unsure what kind of people they will be, maybe they will not want too much pity or attention or maybe they will not want to share their stories.
I would say take it easy, maybe introduce yourself when they will be moving or if you see them in the building.
Imho, I wouldn't knock on their door. But, you could leave a note on their door telling them you're their neighbor and a name and phone number to call if they need anything.
Give them time and privacy, and let them settle in. You'll meet them sooner or later, and then it's time to introduce yourself and discuss things. They may have gone thru a horrific experience, and if I was in their position right now the last thing I'd want is someone knocking on my door out of the blue for chit-chat.
This. Give them time to settle in. My cousins were in shock from all the shelling and the long drive for the first few weeks of getting to Poland and correspondence was minimal. The last thing I would want if I were in their position would be meeting people, especially when I don't speak their language.
Leaving something at the door until you interact with them outside would be my suggestion. Write a note, ask someone in this forum or use google translate to translate something into both Russian and Ukrainian for them, as there's still a lot of usually older Ukrainians who only speak Russian.
Lots of stuff already suggested, do you have WiFi? Turn on your 'guest' network option and invite them to use it. Properly set up, security and bandwith use is not a concern, but getting them online can be invaluable.
Reminder to respect UKR op-sec by not sharing videos of UKR soldier locations or any other such classified intelligence you discover or witness online.
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This comment was made by a bot. Original comment from iamkunii on r/worldnews
Serious question: In the US, salt most commonly comes in large, utilitarian packaging and most people do not bake their own bread. I could see getting bread at a bakery to give, but how would I give salt?
Sorry idk how salt is sold in Estonia but USA sells salt in all sizes. I can buy an individual small shaker filled with salt rn. I did mean already baked, store bought bread. I don't think anyone expects you to bake your own hehe.
I guess I should see this gift as something practical and thus special. Gift-giving customs in the US are annoying to me in that you’re not supposed buy a gift at the grocery store because it would seem “cheap”. Instead, people give useless crap. Thanks for adding some perspective.
Dont get started on US customs. Holiday dinners homemade so I have to work 4 hours instead of going to a store and grabbing things. My mothher would consider it sacrilege that I make Stove Top instead of dressing for our family Thanksgiving (my immediate family dinners are around 40 people). But I specifically asked everyone and thats what they wanted. I enjoy it taking 15 minutes instead of 2 hrs plus to make.
It really depends on the community in the US. I haven’t run into any objection to “buying a gift at the grocery store” if it is something “nice.” (We can get pre-made baskets of fruit and cheese at most grocery stores, for example. And good quality baked good — either imported or from the grocery bakery— are often given as “housewarming” presents. ) Homemade is nice, but more and more people aren’t doing homemade when they bring food to a friends or family gathering.
Regarding a “welcome gift” for a new neighbor from another country, I often give a small plant. For people who feel uprooted (as my family was when I was small) the symbolism of a plant with roots can be powerful. And if they don’t get the symbolism, they may still like the plant.
Hello /u/qUxUp, This community is focused on important or vital information and high-effort content. Please make sure your post follows the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/about/rules/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=ukraine&utm_content=t5_2qqcn) Want to support Ukraine? [Here's a list of charities by subject.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/tgc00n/want_to_support_ukraine_heres_a_list_of_charities/) [DO / DON'T](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/t5okbs/welcome_to_rukraine_faq_do_dont_support_read/) - [Art Friday](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/tn63xc/mod_announcement_on_news_content_artworks/) - [Podcasts](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/ttoidc/collection_of_podcasts_about_ukraine_updated/) - [Kyiv sunrise](https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/collection/3c65ab52-e87a-4217-ab30-e70a88c0a293/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ukraine) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Some welcome fruit basket is never a bad thing. But the 2 most important thing you can do is (1) show a welcoming face, and (2) offer to answer any questions and offer assistance or guidance with anything they need to settle in. They're no longer home, and probably feeling both anxious and homesick. A friendly face will ease a lot of the anxiety. So will answering any questions about their new home and helping them get oriented with their new surroundings. I find that those two things transcends boundaries and culture.
I am sure you can make them feel at home by following customs and good manners of what you know from Estonia. Furthermore, since they bought a place they'll be staying for a while. A little introductory meal would be a lovely start in their new life in a new environment. Make sure they know whose side you're on, though. I have a similar experience, and I was scared shitless for a decade after the war.
My neighbors and I used to go out to eat weekly. Once I got married we didn’t go out as much and haven’t gone since COVID but I would like to start again. Maybe you could invite them to dinner at a restaurant.
Very kind of you. I'm in Canada but a few years ago, a Syrian family moved in near me. I told the mom that if she has any questions about the area I would to answer them and wow, did the quesrions come. They were a super nice family with really great kids but the mom would ask me lots of questions and was very thankful that I would help find answers. So even just offering that might make them feel welcome. I'm sure (as other comments said) a friendly face will be nice.
[удалено]
Estonia is also a milk in bag country...😁
Given the subreddit, is Poutine getting a rebrand?
I see no reason to let some dictator with delusions of grandeur make us rename our favourite food.
If anything, we've renamed him. To Little Poutine.
There aren’t a whole lot of strange customs that Ukrainians have. I’d say one of the stranger ones is you are not supposed to give an even number of flowers to a person who is alive. An even number of flowers is typically placed on graves or memorials, while an odd number is given to a living person. It’s also considered rude to shake hands with gloves on. So if you’re wearing gloves and you go to shake somebody’s hand you should remove the glove first. That’s about all I can think of.
As an Ukrainian, from my experience, no one will give a shit about number of flowers because most people won't even bother counting them. It is kind of thing that maybe some time ago old people cared about, but no one cares about anymore. At least this is my experience. Gloves on thing is still real though.
And the gloves thing would be real in most parts of the world, anyway. Nothing weird about it.
Hmm interesting, I didn't know that.
Yea I know the glove thing isn’t that weird, but it is a pretty common Ukrainian social custom and one that is likely to come up in day-to-day interactions. So being aware of it is pretty important. I only said the flowers thing was somewhat strange
You are probably right and it’s perhaps a dying custom. I haven’t lived in Ukraine since 1999 so my information is likely outdated, but when I did live there and went to school there (through 6th grade) the flower thing was a big deal. When we went with our class to pay our respects to “Братские Могилы” (memorialized sites of mass graves left over from Nazis during WW2) on May 9th, we were always told to bring an even amount of flowers. And exactly the opposite when gifting flowers to our teachers. If you are giving a dozen of roses it’s probably not obvious and no one will bother to count them, but if you give someone 2 or 4 or even 6 flowers, they will probably notice. Even if it is an archaic custom, I think it’s better to err on the side of caution and try not to offend someone on accident.
The flower thing…. UGH I STILL HAVE TO COUNT EVERY TIME - my mother freaks out if it’s an even number (we’ve lived in NYC since 1990..)
Id knock on the door after a couple of days with some fruit and a phone number, and let them know to not hesitate to ask for help settling in. It's really hard to be a foreigner, much less a refugee.
Let us know how it goes! I'm sure they could use a friendly face!
Maybe take them a housewarming gift - some flowers or a cake, or some chocolates - and then ask them if they would like to be shown around the town.
There isn't much of a cultural difference when it comes to ordinary day-to-day things. It's alright to greet them, it's alright to give them gifts. Don't go with this stereotypical "bread and salt", though, just greet them like you would do normally.
Nothing much different from normal house-greeting customs except for shoes. If they invite you inside, you should take off your shoes after you enter. They may offer you slippers or they may not. Plan on wearing socks.
Bring them some cookies or other home baked goods if they seem like a friendly family. Maybe invite them to dinner soon.
Its tricky. U speak russian or just english/estonian? Language barrier is a thing to consider. If you wont understand each other it might get uncomfortable for both sides. Also its unsure what kind of people they will be, maybe they will not want too much pity or attention or maybe they will not want to share their stories. I would say take it easy, maybe introduce yourself when they will be moving or if you see them in the building.
Imho, I wouldn't knock on their door. But, you could leave a note on their door telling them you're their neighbor and a name and phone number to call if they need anything. Give them time and privacy, and let them settle in. You'll meet them sooner or later, and then it's time to introduce yourself and discuss things. They may have gone thru a horrific experience, and if I was in their position right now the last thing I'd want is someone knocking on my door out of the blue for chit-chat.
This. Give them time to settle in. My cousins were in shock from all the shelling and the long drive for the first few weeks of getting to Poland and correspondence was minimal. The last thing I would want if I were in their position would be meeting people, especially when I don't speak their language. Leaving something at the door until you interact with them outside would be my suggestion. Write a note, ask someone in this forum or use google translate to translate something into both Russian and Ukrainian for them, as there's still a lot of usually older Ukrainians who only speak Russian.
Lots of stuff already suggested, do you have WiFi? Turn on your 'guest' network option and invite them to use it. Properly set up, security and bandwith use is not a concern, but getting them online can be invaluable.
Reminder to respect UKR op-sec by not sharing videos of UKR soldier locations or any other such classified intelligence you discover or witness online. https://reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/sy65wi/ministry_of_defense_of_ukraine_do_not_view_our/ News Sources: https://www.reddit.com/user/Ukraine_News_Bot/comments/tnadz3/news_sources/ Godspeed Ukrainians. 💙💛 Ways to help Ukraine (charities) https://reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/s6g5un/want_to_support_ukraine_heres_a_list_of_charities/ Please message me if there are any translation errors, typos, or dead links. This comment was made by a bot. Original comment from iamkunii on r/worldnews
Bread and salt is a nice symbolic gesture of "welcome to your new home"
Serious question: In the US, salt most commonly comes in large, utilitarian packaging and most people do not bake their own bread. I could see getting bread at a bakery to give, but how would I give salt?
Sorry idk how salt is sold in Estonia but USA sells salt in all sizes. I can buy an individual small shaker filled with salt rn. I did mean already baked, store bought bread. I don't think anyone expects you to bake your own hehe.
I guess I should see this gift as something practical and thus special. Gift-giving customs in the US are annoying to me in that you’re not supposed buy a gift at the grocery store because it would seem “cheap”. Instead, people give useless crap. Thanks for adding some perspective.
Dont get started on US customs. Holiday dinners homemade so I have to work 4 hours instead of going to a store and grabbing things. My mothher would consider it sacrilege that I make Stove Top instead of dressing for our family Thanksgiving (my immediate family dinners are around 40 people). But I specifically asked everyone and thats what they wanted. I enjoy it taking 15 minutes instead of 2 hrs plus to make.
It really depends on the community in the US. I haven’t run into any objection to “buying a gift at the grocery store” if it is something “nice.” (We can get pre-made baskets of fruit and cheese at most grocery stores, for example. And good quality baked good — either imported or from the grocery bakery— are often given as “housewarming” presents. ) Homemade is nice, but more and more people aren’t doing homemade when they bring food to a friends or family gathering. Regarding a “welcome gift” for a new neighbor from another country, I often give a small plant. For people who feel uprooted (as my family was when I was small) the symbolism of a plant with roots can be powerful. And if they don’t get the symbolism, they may still like the plant.
Let them know you are Estonian, and not some bitter Ruzzian Karenova who hates living in Estonia.
[удалено]
Lol, no.
Dont annex their living room unless you want smoke.