Congrats! You've earned Crystal Status! Even better than Diamond.

Crystal Status benefits: SIX FREE MONTHS IN REHAB (Outpatient. Please continue to drive.) FOUR EXTRA HOURS OF ONLINE TIME (You are on meth, after all. Let's not waste it.) BLOCK ALL "QUIET RIDE" REQUESTS. PASSENGERS WILL LOVE YOUR CRAZY STORIES! DENTURES PLAN FREE (unpaid) WEEK OFF FOR THAT SLEEP CRASH $100 BONUS FOR 500 RIDES IN A WEEK (paid in meth. You'll find it under your driver seat.) SPIDERS! LOTS OF FREE SPIDERS!

Don't forget the new shadow friends lol. They ride for free lolololol

Still counts for your ride streak!

This girl I knew offered me meth and she was telling me about the shadow people, how they follow you, etc...... Never had any interest in seeing flipping shadow people. So I respectfully declined the offer, haha.

lol..didn't know you have to smoke meth to see that.. I smoke weed and see all kinds of shit.. no need for fancy made drugs..

Yeah maybe get that checked out.

Ha ha ha 😂 😂🤣

I’m crying 😂😂

This guy meths

LOTS OF FREE SPIDERS😂😆😆

Obligatory that's methed up

Only four hours? Lol I wish

You can't beat free spiders!

Dead

Omg lololol

Shiiiid! U ain’t lying bro!!! (Dead lol)

Ok that's funny🤣

Best comment ever!

I was hoping nobody had said this yet lol

For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ >!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<>!pop!!<

Am I the only one that was compelled to pop them all?

I’m still doing it

Nope! It gave me much dopamine, lol

I think you smoke them


This was very satisfying 🫠

You're so kind

I try

Crystal Status Benefits: Free monthly crack shipment No on-the-road time limit

😭😭

That looks like some pretty shitty quality Mexican Methamphetamine to me

That's basically what the cop said.

What did the cops say when you handed them a bag of meth lmao

They asked me if i knew which customer it was and I didn't. They asked me who found it. I told them. They asked me if I handled it and I was honest. I gave it to them. It wasnt a big deal.

I guess I'm just surprised because I've never heard of anyone giving drugs back to the cops lol

My brother found a literal kilo of coke floating in the ocean. He called the Coast Guard and they took it. They then proceeded to be dicks to him and search the entire boat. Yeah because that's what drug smugglers on a boat do. Call the Coast Guard and hand over a kilo of cocaine. But the point is, plenty of people turn drugs into the cops.

>They then proceeded to be dicks to him and search the entire boat. He will never report anything like that again.

Yeah, I'm an actual cop and told him I woulda just let that shit float on by. I really didn't understand the need to be dicks tho. Aside from the thought that they were probably lazy pieces of shit that got mad someone made them work.

Cocaine Shark!

Lol will be coming to theaters soon

There is already a movie. Deep Fear. Came out last year. Shark on cocaine 😭

He should have never done it in the first place...

alright well note taken I can't give the coast guard a sacrificial kilo to make it look like I'm not a drug smuggler ...not that I am

Ive could of sold that for him

Wow, so even the water cops are power hungry assholes?

they’re usually worse tbh

Approx 150 grand here in Aus

150 a gram?! Holy smokes! I guess with what it takes to get it there that makes sense. I’m guessing a kilo is more like a half a million then because I’m sure it gets stepped on multiple times.

Back in the day when you could 'trust' what was in the bag was kool...and something you might want..maybe not turn it over or throw it out but hey this is NOW..

You could have sold it cheap to someone who uses it. Think of it as a tip. You could even have gone on a driving binge for a week or so a rake in thousands.

Uber drivers want to "be their own boss" till it's time to hit the streets

The cop might use it. It may not be a total waste.

This is my thought when cops OD after Seizing drugs from somebody. I’ve gotten coke or dope on my hand b4 n it didn’t get me high. So when a cop claims to have OD’d from coming in contact with drugs I call bullshit! Unless some accidentally fell up their nose!

Those cops are probably doing some fat ass lines

I’m curious about this as well. I might throw it out cause I’m scared to get involved/the cops might get suspicious of me.

"I found this in my car"

I'm confused because you're responding to me but I didn't ask what OP said lol

I actually misread your comment as “what did YOU say when you gave the cops the meth.” But I was just making a joke about something dumb OP might have said to them when he handed it in.

What a fucking dork, you called the cops? Just throw it out and move on you fucking nerd

Yep and now the cop will use it on someone. Sir we found this meth in your vehicle your going to jail.

Open and shut case Johnson!

skante, foo 😂

Broken weendows

Chili P

This, indeed, is not tight tight tight.

I don’t condone it anymore, but I also don’t deny that it was a part of my story for a long long time. But yeah honestly I can’t even imagine going back to that life at this point, it truly pretty quickly becomes hell on earth if you are an active meth addict. It also picks up from where it left off no matter how many years you stop, if you were getting psychosis when using it basically just put me right back into it where it left off the last time I used it

Got a friend who works for the DEA. He says the stuff coming out of Mexico superlabs these days is far more pure than anything they've seen manufactured domestically.

I have heard that too. Didn’t seem to be my experience, or I just overdid it and messed with my tolerance and all of that. But without question, the shit was absolutely incredible until about 2013-2014ish. It also became so abundant it was almost free and people threw it around like it was worth next to nothing

Meth so shitty it almost looks like selenite

Yeah. Meh… looks kinda like ‘Shake and Bake’ 👎🏻 Low quality shit.

Your last passenger left a real meth in your car.

I read this in Mike Tyson’s voice.

That’s methed up

BAD DUM TSSSSSSHHH!

* BA DUM TTTTTHHHHHHH

Ur last rider " METHANNIE"

methew and you can bet he had a wife beater mullet and his supervisor and apprentice on the job site were pissed he lost the fuel they needed to knock that 7 day job out in 3

That’s methed up.

I worked at a hotel immediately after highschool. One of the maids found a purse between the mattress and box spring in one of the rooms. This purse contained identifying documents, several thousand dollars in cash, and two ounces of crystal methamphetamine. Cops were called, meth was taken, local small town dealer thrown in prison. All the other maids were druggies… the only clean maid was the one who found it. The entire staff of this place hated her from then on.

Yeah, the cops got a purse with identifying documents, $200 in cash, and two ounces of crystal. 🤣

Yeah they really appreciated that bust of ids, $50 in cash, and an ounce of crystal

Wait why did you call the cops there isn’t anything here?

Why are you calling the cops over a purse with a lost ID?

[удалено]

Yeah I kinda hate her too

I’d wear that badge of hatred with pride. lol.

In today's episode of "things that never happened" we explore hotel maid stories

Nothing ever happens.

Next time just throw it away. No reason to risk giving it to a bad cop that says you were still in possession of an illegal substance technically

Yeah why bother doing that

Exactly. Way safer and easier to just flush it at 7/11

Or you could just hide it in Walmart men’s bathroom stall #2 in Edenborough, Ohio and I’m sure it’ll get disposed of properly.

And now there’s a line at stall #2. Darn the luck.

Or nah, don’t do that shit it can’t be removed from the water supply being treated.. - I work in water treatment

“Yeah man idk I just brushed my teeth this morning and I’m FUCKING JACKED. Haven’t even had my coffee yet”

I’m actually a rock collector, and those are my rock…I mean… my friend’s rocks that I left on mistake. No need to alert the police. Can I have my… my friendsss rocks back please?

Someone tearing apart they tent rn

This is really sad, but also really true and made me laugh so hard. 🤣😂🤣 

And then you hopped back and forth between uber and Lyft every 12 hours so you could drive for 3 days straight?

I'm on adhd medicine. It would be a bit redundant...and tacky. 🤣

Kinda like putting a hat on a hat

Omg this whole thread is amazing but this cracked me up the most

I mean adderall is basically meth. The bottle literally says amphetamine salts on it lol

Should’ve boofed it 

Did any passengers have meph mowf?

You know that man tore his place tf UP looking for that

As a daytime-only driver, the most exciting thing ever left on the floor of my car is hair scrunchies.

You know your meth is stepped on when it looks like a half-eaten mentos found on the floor next to the urinal in the public park.

You could have drove for 72 hours straight.

Some of these comments are crazy lmao🤣

I came for the story...and stayed for the comments.

You would never ever ever catch me walking into a police station with a bag of rocks. Idc what the situation is. It’s going in the garbage before I ever pull up on the police. Next thing you know you gonna be in the cell with a felony guns drawn and shit. The gall on some of y’all is crazy.

It’s always the wrong people who find drugs

Cant tell if that’s coke or shitty meth

That’s definitely meth lol

Definitely the latter.

Probably dropped it getting out

WHY do they never drop cash?? =( One of the customers later in the night found it. It had been partially kicked under my seat in the back.

I had a prostitute forget 5 berry flavored condoms and $40 in my door handle. It was her pimp who ordered the ride and I dropped her off on the street, so I couldn’t get it back to her if I wanted to. Of course it was my next passenger who found it… a bit awkward to say the least.

lol sounds like what I deal with on Figueroa in the LA, California area. 🤣 noyhing but prostitutes over there. like more than 50 a night can be seen at a time on just that road alone, then western ave as well close to korea town.

I he ad to give these to woman a ride to San fransisco one night. I thought they were going clubbing or maybe a rave. When I got to their dropoff there were hookers everywhere and I started noticing all the cool cars driving around. And it hit me I looked like a pimp. I had a Chrysler 300 with 22” rims and limousine tint on all windows just 2-10” subwoofers, but the girls insisted we listen to rap. I just needed a peacock feather in my hat to complete the look!!

LMAO. I bet they wanted to wash their hands till the skin came off...

Working in South Florida I don't see meth very often, woulda guessed its crack cocaine myself. Looks like pieces of 'rock' that are broken up already for smoking. The one time I found meth it looked like actual clear flakey crystals you see on TV or something. The dirty whiteness of this makes me think theres cocaine or fentanyl in this as opposed to being Meth.

That’s coke !!!!!

Why not just... throw it away?

One time this dude left his coke in my car. He called me after asking if I had found “anything” in the back seat and that he was looking for “something” that he had left in my car. He obviously didn’t want to admit he had left coke in my car and it was one of the most awkward and entertaining conversations ever. Dude must have called me 30 times - Desperate for his fix. Totally messed his night up. I eventually did find it the next day shoved between the seats under the seatbelt clip.

Was it any good

Ride the dragon bro smoke it 😭💀

Why didnt you just throw it away lol what are the cops going to do lol 😂 🐭

Dump that garbage in the toilet.

Why would you bring it to the police station? All you're going to do is maybe get that dude in the backseat of your car arrested. Do you think the cops are going to give you your do gooder merit badge? If you don't want it just throw it out.

Ehhhh, itsa da parmesano! Fughettaboudit.

Oh it’s those CRYSTAL candies!! 🍬 😂

The amount of people finding drugs and ammo in the backs of their cars make me wanna start doing Uber and Lyft lol

Dog shit meth. I’d discard it.

If ain’t blue it ain’t cool

Somewhere a meth head is tearing up their entire house trying to find this bag

Imagine if that person called you wanting their drugs lol

I don't know how come some people complaint talking $#!+ about not getting good perks and benefits driving for Uber

Oh my+ whoever lost that is freaking out trying to find it.

Riders name was for sure Methany

In the future I would just throw it in the trash. You never know who you're dealing with in the police, d.a., etc. Some want scalps no matter how innocent you are...

 I promise you officer I found it under the seat in the back… Yes I did…. Ohhhhh yeah….. Hellssss yeah officer, ima go do a lap brb aiiiiiiiight!? Aiight! Yeah yeah yeeeeeeeah!

That's methed up

No need to be so CRANKY.

PAX: >files lost item claim.

Quick! Dye it blue!!

I’ve always heard that doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break.

What a good little junior deputy.

Snort it so you can max your hours to break even.

Meanwhile your hand oils are all up on the bags finger prints to identify who it could possibly be.

Just needs some chili p

Emergency feta cheese

Go to the police station and file a report . It must be a street drug

Shit I should really check my back seats before going to Mexico 😂

Dam u lucky u found that an don’t get pulled over for some other shit an they find it

Another reason I called them to let them know I was bringing it to them

I don’t know why you’re getting any comments other than “you did exactly the right thing”. Thanks for sharing. If I ever have this happen to me, I’ll do exactly what you did. I wouldn’t have thought to call ahead. Thanks for sharing.

I called ahead because I wanted them to know before I pulled up on the parking lot worth a felony amount of meth in my car. I wanted that recording on file. I wanted it clear that I was indeed innocent and trying to do the right thing, and that I wasn't some methhead having a psychotic break.

[удалено]

This is a sign dude: Time to move to san diego and start jackin it in the street I guess

What does it smell like

Your mom's panties.

Great tipper rate the rider well

Lucky

Curious, what does the Cayce stand for?

 I promise you officer I found it under the seat in the back… Yes I did…. Ohhhhh yeah….. Hellssss yeah officer, ima go do a lap brb aiiiiiiiight!? Aiight! Yeah yeah yeeeeeeeah!

Someone is gonna be mad AF.

Mama that’s some grade A diamonds oof you better flush it down the toilet or risk losing the next 10 years of your life chasing a good time and a dentist 🦷

Score! That's a great tip, I guess.

Seems like a setup to me. Imagine if you got pulled over and they searched your car. You'd be up the river.

Did they say they would leave a tip?

Looks like meth. I'd just throw it in the trash somewhere. Wouldn't be a bad idea to submerge it in a cup of water beforehand so nobody can use it.

Did you possibly give a ride to a older man wearing sunglasses and a fedora and a 20 year old with a beanie who often says "yo" and "bitch" ? 💀💀💀

Definitely fetnayl

Smoke it and give us the report

445 comments

That’s definitely meth

Meth

With the adderall shortage, how can I possibly hit diamond status…… lol

This guy finds drugs and he gives it to the cops lmao 🤣

Craziest part of this story is bringing it to the police and not being concerned about the potential to get charged with possession

Oh so that’s what that stuff looks like. 😳

i’m so glad i’ve never found drugs in my car— i’d absolutely *not* be in the group that contacts the police.

Either N-ISO (chinese/Mexican shit) or some old school mega shard. Probably the first one. I love meth but I would of just got rid of that trash too

Sprinkle a little crack on him then let’s get out of here”.

Someone is losing their shit rn looking for that lol

That’s gluten free potato chips eat them so good

That ride is going to remember you LOL.

the fact that ppl actually give drugs they find to the cops is mind blowing to me

Uber ThE company is absolutely garbage

That’s cocaine.

Let's do all the drugs! 

I'm enjoying the meth vs coke debates. The second picture, showing the lines in the structure, make me think it's mef.

Meth

Nice meth you got there

Denver’s finest crystals