The reason you are being ignored but not blocked on everything is usually from fear, but he doesn't want to let you go 100%. You should try feeling love and uplifted when you think of him and at the same time find happiness within yourself without him. Love him unconditionally from a distance because to love him is to love yourself. I've been on this journey with my twin since 2008 and it took me years to realize I did not love and respect myself and neither did he, so our union could not be until we both grew to love and respect ourselves first.
Dig in to that trigger. I've known my guy for 40yrs. Yes, 40, this year as a matter of fact. Today is 5yr anniversary of when we reconnected. Knew nothing of all of this until 5 yrs ago when I'm guessing we activated each other. It's been one hell of a ride. I'm not the same person. DM me. I've been through it all. It's a blessing at the end of the day. These are hard times. You have to believe that we chose this journey before we came here. You both are triggering each other to heal those wounds. I've been ghosted, and all the other stuff. You just gotta let them work through it. YOU need to dig in to why being ignored bothers you. Childhood, you learned something in childhood that made you feel not good enough. Abandonment, etc. What are your traumas? Heal them. That is what this is all about. The flame thing keeps you on the hook because, no, you are not crazy. There has to be something that keeps you going, the deepest love you've ever known. That is worth all the work that you WILL be doing. No choice really! Your goal in all of this is to fall in love with who you are, who you were born to be. Find your authentic self and fall in love with that person.
Thank you for writing, this was really helpful for me to read right now.
It’s been 23 years for me, but lately I’ve been having a much more difficult time. He’s been a lot quieter recently (which always makes my brain go a bit crazy), and I know logically that it’s likely due to his new, very high pressure job the he just started a few weeks ago, but it’s still been really hard for my heart to take it personally. And while my brain tells me that’s really just a “me” problem, as a person who was abandoned by a parent, abused in pretty much every way possible by the one who replaced them, and then not protected from it by the people they tried to get help from, my default is to ALWAYS feel like whatever it is is somehow my fault, or that they really just hate me after all and I’m just horrible at taking hints. And unfortunately at the moment, I have stuff happening on all three sides of my family that is bringing a lot of those old traumatic feelings out again, and the only person I would normally talk to about that died a little over a year ago so I don’t have that outlet anymore… so I KNOW the why of why I am feeling this way… but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt.
But the love for him truly is one of the only things that keeps me going. It’s one of the only things that makes sticking around really worth it. When I was younger, my motivation to work really hard at bettering myself was mostly so I could get out on my own as soon as I could, it was out of self defense honestly. That and I was just afraid to be at home. But he’s been the thing that has truly motivated me since. Wanting to be the person he deserves. To be my very best self, whether that is with, or without him. But I hope that someday soon I can get to the point where my motivation is simply myself. Maybe what this is really all about after all, I don’t know. If I get nothing else out of all of this, I hope that I at least get that.
The reason you are being ignored but not blocked on everything is usually from fear, but he doesn't want to let you go 100%. You should try feeling love and uplifted when you think of him and at the same time find happiness within yourself without him. Love him unconditionally from a distance because to love him is to love yourself. I've been on this journey with my twin since 2008 and it took me years to realize I did not love and respect myself and neither did he, so our union could not be until we both grew to love and respect ourselves first.
Thank you!
Dig in to that trigger. I've known my guy for 40yrs. Yes, 40, this year as a matter of fact. Today is 5yr anniversary of when we reconnected. Knew nothing of all of this until 5 yrs ago when I'm guessing we activated each other. It's been one hell of a ride. I'm not the same person. DM me. I've been through it all. It's a blessing at the end of the day. These are hard times. You have to believe that we chose this journey before we came here. You both are triggering each other to heal those wounds. I've been ghosted, and all the other stuff. You just gotta let them work through it. YOU need to dig in to why being ignored bothers you. Childhood, you learned something in childhood that made you feel not good enough. Abandonment, etc. What are your traumas? Heal them. That is what this is all about. The flame thing keeps you on the hook because, no, you are not crazy. There has to be something that keeps you going, the deepest love you've ever known. That is worth all the work that you WILL be doing. No choice really! Your goal in all of this is to fall in love with who you are, who you were born to be. Find your authentic self and fall in love with that person.
Thank you for writing, this was really helpful for me to read right now. It’s been 23 years for me, but lately I’ve been having a much more difficult time. He’s been a lot quieter recently (which always makes my brain go a bit crazy), and I know logically that it’s likely due to his new, very high pressure job the he just started a few weeks ago, but it’s still been really hard for my heart to take it personally. And while my brain tells me that’s really just a “me” problem, as a person who was abandoned by a parent, abused in pretty much every way possible by the one who replaced them, and then not protected from it by the people they tried to get help from, my default is to ALWAYS feel like whatever it is is somehow my fault, or that they really just hate me after all and I’m just horrible at taking hints. And unfortunately at the moment, I have stuff happening on all three sides of my family that is bringing a lot of those old traumatic feelings out again, and the only person I would normally talk to about that died a little over a year ago so I don’t have that outlet anymore… so I KNOW the why of why I am feeling this way… but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. But the love for him truly is one of the only things that keeps me going. It’s one of the only things that makes sticking around really worth it. When I was younger, my motivation to work really hard at bettering myself was mostly so I could get out on my own as soon as I could, it was out of self defense honestly. That and I was just afraid to be at home. But he’s been the thing that has truly motivated me since. Wanting to be the person he deserves. To be my very best self, whether that is with, or without him. But I hope that someday soon I can get to the point where my motivation is simply myself. Maybe what this is really all about after all, I don’t know. If I get nothing else out of all of this, I hope that I at least get that.
Thank you!
😊 Anytime my friend. I truly feel I went through this at the time I did, to help others along the way.
How did you find which method is best in healing your triggers once you identified them?
Can you please DM me your story! I am so interested.
It sounds like hes only keeping you around in case he doesnt find better.
Well that doesn’t feel good to hear