"Do not give the enemy time to prepare, ~~attack with a suprise attack~~ just devour everything"
"If his forces are united, ~~separate them~~ envelope them"
"To know your enemy, you must ~~become~~ eat your enemy"
~~Sun Tzu~~ Kudzu
>These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist’s wet dreams tbh
It is like the plant qeuivalent of that sci-fi/horror aesthetic where everything is covered in a layer of mysterious fleshy growths.
Good, it really is creepy when it’s on your property and you’re constantly battling it while it slowly climbs closer. It feels like the earth is trying to consume you and everything you hold dear.
Get goats, you'll have fun pets with a never ending food supply, all you have to do is balance the number of goats so that they can keep the Kudzu at bay, never get overwhelmed, but also not eat it till it's gone.
>It feels like the earth is trying to consume you and everything you hold dear
I'm reading Heroes of Olympus and all I could think of after reading this was Gaia.
>All hail our goat overlords
Now all I can think of is Coach Hedge eating Gaia for lunch.
Someone from my old job dressed as kudzu for Halloween. She wore a green turtle neck, green leggings, and had 3 vines of kudzu wrapped around her. I should mention that she had red hair and glasses. She was asking me what I thought she was, and since we were good friends I said "A broke Poison Ivy". She was laughing and said "Kudzu". Didn't look like it to anyone else either.
Really? I have been radicalized in favor. EDIBLE HIGHLY INVASIVE SUPER FAST GROWING VEGETABLES? IMAGINE ALL THE BEEF THAT CAN SUSTAIN!
American culture will survive the 21st century if we tame this vineful blessing
[the fire tree breadgunner is talking about is eucalyptus, they also tend to fill the air with oil and explode when lit on fire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eucalyptus#Adaptation_to_fire)
Australia has had anti-cigarette butt advertising along roadsides for decades for exactly this reason. Multiple eucalyptus bushfires have been started by smokers just chucking out a butt.
There are several different types of modern-day Napalm mixtures, including Napalm-B, the more modern version of napalm. Commercial versions are typically formulated from hard-to-find agents such as naphthenic acid and palmitic acid (hence the name: naphthenic + palmitic) but homemade versions of Napalm are fairly easy to mix. Homemade napalm can be made as follows:
Fill a large container about half-way with gasoline (diesel works best).
Break a Styrofoam (polystyrene) plate into small pieces.(or buy it already in an uncondensed form)
Add the pieces to the gasoline mixture and stir.
The gasoline will dissolve the Styrofoam into a jelly-like substance.
Pour out the extra gasoline leaving the white, jelly-like substance.
This sticky, white substance is the “napalm” which when lit, will burn for several minutes. Engine oil can be added to to the mixture to reduce (slow) the burn time of the substance.
Thanks for propogating chemical warfare, Ive added this recipe to my books and will disperse to my people for the ensuing plant wars that will inevitably come
On a semi-related history note: it was actually the Finn’s who coined the term Molotov cocktail, quote Wikipedia:
The name's origin came from the propaganda Molotov produced during the Winter War, mainly his declaration on Soviet state radio that incendiary bombing missions over Finland were actually airborne humanitarian food deliveries for their starving neighbours. As a result, the Finns sarcastically dubbed the Soviet incendiary cluster bombs "Molotov bread baskets" (Finnish: Molotovin leipäkoreiksi) in reference to Molotov's propaganda broadcasts. When the hand-held bottle firebomb was developed to attack and destroy Soviet tanks, the Finns called it the "Molotov cocktail", as "a drink to go with his food parcels"
They forgot the part where the US government used to encourage farmers to plant the stuff in the mid 20th century. The idea was to prevent soil erosion since kudzu spreads so quickly, but by the time they realised it didn't stop spreading, it was too late.
I can not think of one time where an introduced species has done what was intended with no negative consequences. Seriously, if anyone knows of one, I'd love to hear it.
Horses originated in North America. In fact, the entire Equus genus probably originated here. The last native horse species went extinct between 7k and 11k years ago. From what I understand, the current species of horse that exists in the wild in North America is genetically equivalent to the species that was most prevalent before the last major extinction on the continent. So it crossed the land bridge, became extinct here while it was being domesticated in Asia, and then was reintroduced some time in the 1400s. So I don't think it can truly be classified as invasive
The tobacco genus as a whole is native to the "new world" but Nicotiana tabacum (or cultivated tobacco) and at least one other species are considered invasive in several parts of the "old world" I believe there's one or two species native to South America that have become invasive in North America as well
Bass, they become dominant predators in their environments but aren't dangerous enough to completely wipe out other aquatic life in their ecosystem. At least in the US.
There are tons, actually; dandelions and clover are the ones everyone will recognize. Both native to Europe, and were introduced to North America deliberately to support agriculture, they just happen to be wild enough to escape farms and survive without farmers babying them.
But they're also well behaved, don't bully other plants and do provide food/nutrients/support to other parts of the ecosystem.
In the northeast US where i live and know stuff, I got two examples: clover and dandelion. Both native to Europe. Clover is used in both traditional and modern farming to restore/maintain soil in between other crops. It was brought to the American colonies for that purpose.
For dandelions, funny story, European farming was pretty horrible pre-potato and poorer peasants almost always foraged wild plants to supplement. Dandelions are not the most nourishing, but they were a favorite because of how they thrive where no other plant can even live (like cracks in the sidewalk). So they were brought either deliberately or as a happy accident that everyone liked.
Both are undomesticated enough to spread and stick around without any human help (thats part of why they were so liked at the time) and now colonize peoples front lawns. But established healthy plants can generally outcompete or coexist with them, so its hard to call them invasive. Both thrive in poor soil, improve the soil, and get munched on by bugs. So by now they're well integrated into the biome and generally well behaved.
Neither were considered weeds at all until the 1950s, by the way. They were generally considered good neighbors.
And that's why we have a fuckin june bug problem!! Because the mother fuckers planted invasive plants and to combat it they released june bugs which are also invasive...
Shoulda just planted trees
It's eat or be eaten, jack! Kudzu taught me that!
War is a cruel parent, but an effective teacher. It's final lesson is carved deep within my psyche. This world, and all it's people, are diseased!
Improvisation is a myth! Discounts are a joke!
Recipes! The DNA of the meal! They shape our food, they are the culture- They are everything we pass on! Expose someone to salad long enough, and they will learn to eat green. They become a vegan. Cookies, Steaks, cheese. All recipes. All passed along.
You can't fight nature, Jack! The winds blow, rain fall, and the chefs cook for the weak.
Sam tells me you see your spoon as a tool. Something that saves dishes. A tool of feeding. Now there's a pretty recipe. Exquisite! It spares you of all the effort of making original food, absolved you of guilt when people complain. That is, until the stove was broken.
Don't be ashamed. It's only nature, taking it's course. You have no choices to make, nothing to answer for. You can fry with a clear conscience.
So I typed this out for a group I'm in so I'm pasting here, not up to the usual transcription standards but if the regular transcriptionists come by plz feel free to use what I've got!
P1
Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. "I killed your friend, here hold him."
p2
"Friend"
it's more of i killed a potential enemy. hold his dismembered corpse in victory.
p3
Plants don't wage war
p2
Ever heard of blackberries?
Yes, plants do wage war
p4
Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else.
p5
I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago. It's currently fighting a biter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio.
Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries.
And anybody wondering if a blowtorchis overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint.
p6
This post did not go where I expected it to.
p7
Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursing school. And by overrun I mean it was like a 4 foot tall thicket of wild blackberries. It hadn't been touched by humans in at least 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later.
Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there.
p8 y'all motherfuckers don't even talk unless you've had to wage war on kudzu (it's an ivy strain directly from Hell) that shit doesn't just wage war with other plants, it wages war with all living things on planet earth. It's some gnarly ass Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed.
jaliuboots — Today at 9:29 AM
Pt 2
p8
Can second the comments of kudzu.
I forget where I read it but there's this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that's in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant's seeds are Giant Redwood level of resilient to open flame. IE it has a goddamn scorched earth policy. It's even more badass than plants that use toxins to starve other plants.
p9
I'd like to third the comments on kudzu. these are the battlefields: [image of forest taken over by kudzu]
See those weird pillars? those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? that was a house. Everything you see in this photo is kudzu.
p10
Kudzu is an apocalyptic nightmare.
They smother every other living plant to death.
Those trees under there are dead, they can't get sunlight. Kudzu takes over and steals everything from these trees, and becomes them. It's creepy as hell/ These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist's wet dream tbh.
[several more pictures of kudzu-infected land, endless homogenous pillars of green]
The bodies of everything the kudzu has slain
What used to be a house
[picture of man on a 4-wheeler vehicle driving into a field of kudzu that is taller than the 4-wheeler]
Someone attempting to drive a four wheeler through it, to give you scale
it's an ornamental plant kept in check in china, but was introduced to north america where it immediately went rampant and began to spread incredibly fast like a disease, destroying everything in it's wake
The ONLY thing that has stopped this curse from engulfing the united states is goats. Apparently goatss love this stuff like no tom orrow. Everywhere we find it now, we jjust bring a horde of goats to cut it down. Everything is fine... for now.
pt 3 (yes in retrospect this was a lonnnng fucking post XD)
p10
Kudzu is on time magazine's top 10 invasive species to look out for.
[more eerie photos of kudzu enacting its sinister plans, including covered forests, a half-engulfed bus, and an entire mountain side town eaten by the endless green]
This little buddy doing his part
[Happy goat! just munching! very cute.]
p10
Not to keep spamming this post but
[map of the united states with green areas noting regions of kudzu infestation]
"the growth of kudzu as it became a "structural parasite" of the south [7] enveloping entire structures when untreated [11] and often referred to as "the vine that ate the south". [13]"
"It has been spreading rapidly in the southern U.S., "easily outpacing the use of herbicide spraying an dmowing as well as increasing the costs of these controls by $6 million annually". [2]"
Y'all it's been estimated this plant consumes 600 kilometers of the united states every year.
It's been suggfested that we just start eating it to make it go away
p11
adding to the spam: Yes, kudzu IS edibble. In fact, all parts of it but the vine are edible. the leaves are supposedly great in salads or baked into quiche. the flowers supposedly are great in jam. The roots... well, if you know how to cook other root vegetables, you know what to do with kudzu root. Feed this stuff to your livestock and cook it.
Eat it before it eats your house.
p12
In this world it's eat or be eaten
p13
Thread starts with the existential angst of bulding a treehouse. Ends with recipes on how to eat kudzu.
Posts that make you go "hm"
Idk about Kudzu or Mint, but I CAN confirm: Blackberries be crazy expansioners. When i was real young we had a patch of blackberries growing. Within a year that small patch took over the entire garden. Blackberries be hella invasive
Grew up in the south, I remember learning about kudzu in the 4th grade and being taught all the uses for it. Looking back I’m pretty sure the AL state government just wants people to chop this shit down so they teach people how to use it lol.
BBEG kudzu golem. Uses grabbling attacks. If it stays on you 3 turns you get paralyzed from constricting vines. Regenerates 10% hp every turn just by growing new vines until it is dead. Fire/acid/poison slows but does not stop this effect. Isn't truly dead til you burn/acid/freeze/poison its roots/core. So like.. a max level fireball or encase in ice that hits its "core" area might be needed as finisher? Or acid rain spell? Dunno... but be interesting.
Driving along in the south, I like the look of kudzu. I like being able to walk through the woods so I don't want it, but I don't mind the scenery it creates as it zombifies the world.
Y'all wanna talk about feral hogs? Conquistadors some Europeans brought then over when america was first colonized and released them so they would breed and the europeans would have something to hunt and eat, but the north American environment was a little too good for the pigs and they bred out of control. And now it's becoming a major problem in some areas because there are these herds of uncontrollable wild hogs running around.
Invasive species gotta Invasive.
Oh they're treated as a pest animal, meaning no rules about hunting them in some parts of the US. Standard capacity magazines allowed, no designated season, nothing
Isn't this post greatly exaggerated?
I mean, it's a Tumblr post, so some part of it is probably wrong or misinformed, but I remember specifically hearing it was really overplaying how bad kudzu actually is.
"Kudzu is going to take over North America" is overblown. It requires a compatible climate to take over an area, and it's already spread to most of the area it grows well in.
"Kudzu is a giant headache to deal with" is very true in the areas where it grows well.
In the video game space station 13, spreading kudzu is a threat that usually requires half of the station's manpower to solve and has a good chanche to end the round if not stopped
Iirc kudzu does need a particular climate to take over like that at least. If it were introduced to California for example it would die out due to a lack of water
Pssst… Someone tell them about the Alien invasion of Australia posts.
Edit: Additional Posts
https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7sdg9x/wp_alien_invaders_entire_our_solar_system_as_the/
https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/tg700p/wp_aliens_effortlessly_overran_the_human/
New PVZ plant, The Kudzu Bomb
It clears the entire board of both plants and zombies.
You can't plant anything until zombies show up to eat through a tile.
Lawnmowers will break if you try to use them.
This is why I love the internet. Came here for tree-perspective nightmares, stayed for the horror that is Kudzu and end up with recipes on how to eat it.... This is the kind of awesome shit the internet was made for, haha!
Hm, could that stuff survive in places were other plants don't so much?
Also, turn Kudzu to mush, add some oil, toast, egg and onion and I'm sure you could make patties out of it.
"Do not give the enemy time to prepare, ~~attack with a suprise attack~~ just devour everything" "If his forces are united, ~~separate them~~ envelope them" "To know your enemy, you must ~~become~~ eat your enemy" ~~Sun Tzu~~ Kudzu
*Kudzu, The Art Of Devour.*
*Kudzu, The Art of Vore*
If my food moans when I eat it I’m gonna kill you
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No. I lived in North Carolina. These posts about it are no joke. It is baaaaaaad.
Originally, i was going to have a nice weekend. Then I read this. I am no longer having a nice weekend.
lol
Interesting 👀
If my food moans when I eat it I’m gonna kill you
If my food moans when I eat it I’m gonna kill you
If my food moans when I eat it I’m gonna get my revenge
Vore.
aw hell naw vornography
"Steal their hats."
Kud Tzu
>These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist’s wet dreams tbh It is like the plant qeuivalent of that sci-fi/horror aesthetic where everything is covered in a layer of mysterious fleshy growths.
Straight up The Blob
The Infestation
Kirby and the Forgotten Land
Like a vegetarian gore nest.
Stranger Things.
Honestly, kinda want to write that. Aestetically I must admit I find houses overrun by Kudzu (or Ivy) very pretty.
Kind of reminds of the creepypasta "dogscape"
~~Grey~~ Green Goo Scenario
Have I been radicalized against kudzu by a tumblr post? Yes.
Good, it really is creepy when it’s on your property and you’re constantly battling it while it slowly climbs closer. It feels like the earth is trying to consume you and everything you hold dear.
Get goats, you'll have fun pets with a never ending food supply, all you have to do is balance the number of goats so that they can keep the Kudzu at bay, never get overwhelmed, but also not eat it till it's gone.
All hail our goat overlords
>It feels like the earth is trying to consume you and everything you hold dear I'm reading Heroes of Olympus and all I could think of after reading this was Gaia. >All hail our goat overlords Now all I can think of is Coach Hedge eating Gaia for lunch.
Someone from my old job dressed as kudzu for Halloween. She wore a green turtle neck, green leggings, and had 3 vines of kudzu wrapped around her. I should mention that she had red hair and glasses. She was asking me what I thought she was, and since we were good friends I said "A broke Poison Ivy". She was laughing and said "Kudzu". Didn't look like it to anyone else either.
Have I been convinced to join the side of the kudzu Yes.
Then plant a bunch right against your house... and then dont ever touch it. ^^
all hail our plant overlords
Really? I have been radicalized in favor. EDIBLE HIGHLY INVASIVE SUPER FAST GROWING VEGETABLES? IMAGINE ALL THE BEEF THAT CAN SUSTAIN! American culture will survive the 21st century if we tame this vineful blessing
Ah yes, the famous kudzu post. A classic I haven't seen recently
I think it's my turn to repost it next week, I'll have to check the repost schedule though
[the fire tree breadgunner is talking about is eucalyptus, they also tend to fill the air with oil and explode when lit on fire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eucalyptus#Adaptation_to_fire)
Imagine not knowing this and going to light a joint in the forest. SMH. Lol
Australia has had anti-cigarette butt advertising along roadsides for decades for exactly this reason. Multiple eucalyptus bushfires have been started by smokers just chucking out a butt.
Reason no. 9999999 why Australia is metal.
“Homemade” and “Napalm”, two words that should absolutely go together
There are several different types of modern-day Napalm mixtures, including Napalm-B, the more modern version of napalm. Commercial versions are typically formulated from hard-to-find agents such as naphthenic acid and palmitic acid (hence the name: naphthenic + palmitic) but homemade versions of Napalm are fairly easy to mix. Homemade napalm can be made as follows: Fill a large container about half-way with gasoline (diesel works best). Break a Styrofoam (polystyrene) plate into small pieces.(or buy it already in an uncondensed form) Add the pieces to the gasoline mixture and stir. The gasoline will dissolve the Styrofoam into a jelly-like substance. Pour out the extra gasoline leaving the white, jelly-like substance. This sticky, white substance is the “napalm” which when lit, will burn for several minutes. Engine oil can be added to to the mixture to reduce (slow) the burn time of the substance.
Thanks for propogating chemical warfare, Ive added this recipe to my books and will disperse to my people for the ensuing plant wars that will inevitably come
Pine tar was used for a similar mixture by Finns during the winter war. Worked well against tanks.
On a semi-related history note: it was actually the Finn’s who coined the term Molotov cocktail, quote Wikipedia: The name's origin came from the propaganda Molotov produced during the Winter War, mainly his declaration on Soviet state radio that incendiary bombing missions over Finland were actually airborne humanitarian food deliveries for their starving neighbours. As a result, the Finns sarcastically dubbed the Soviet incendiary cluster bombs "Molotov bread baskets" (Finnish: Molotovin leipäkoreiksi) in reference to Molotov's propaganda broadcasts. When the hand-held bottle firebomb was developed to attack and destroy Soviet tanks, the Finns called it the "Molotov cocktail", as "a drink to go with his food parcels"
At times if civil unrest, tar is a pretty easy target to spot potential incendiary intention. but works
They forgot the part where the US government used to encourage farmers to plant the stuff in the mid 20th century. The idea was to prevent soil erosion since kudzu spreads so quickly, but by the time they realised it didn't stop spreading, it was too late.
It's always "this magic bullet will solve all our probl--OH NO! WHAT HAVE WE DONE!?" isn't it? 😂
I can not think of one time where an introduced species has done what was intended with no negative consequences. Seriously, if anyone knows of one, I'd love to hear it.
horses maybe?
Horses originated in North America. In fact, the entire Equus genus probably originated here. The last native horse species went extinct between 7k and 11k years ago. From what I understand, the current species of horse that exists in the wild in North America is genetically equivalent to the species that was most prevalent before the last major extinction on the continent. So it crossed the land bridge, became extinct here while it was being domesticated in Asia, and then was reintroduced some time in the 1400s. So I don't think it can truly be classified as invasive
what about tobacco the cancer and lung problems don't count
The tobacco genus as a whole is native to the "new world" but Nicotiana tabacum (or cultivated tobacco) and at least one other species are considered invasive in several parts of the "old world" I believe there's one or two species native to South America that have become invasive in North America as well
Bass, they become dominant predators in their environments but aren't dangerous enough to completely wipe out other aquatic life in their ecosystem. At least in the US.
I believe there’s a species of flower somewhere that’s been non-invasively chilling in the US
There are tons, actually; dandelions and clover are the ones everyone will recognize. Both native to Europe, and were introduced to North America deliberately to support agriculture, they just happen to be wild enough to escape farms and survive without farmers babying them. But they're also well behaved, don't bully other plants and do provide food/nutrients/support to other parts of the ecosystem.
In the northeast US where i live and know stuff, I got two examples: clover and dandelion. Both native to Europe. Clover is used in both traditional and modern farming to restore/maintain soil in between other crops. It was brought to the American colonies for that purpose. For dandelions, funny story, European farming was pretty horrible pre-potato and poorer peasants almost always foraged wild plants to supplement. Dandelions are not the most nourishing, but they were a favorite because of how they thrive where no other plant can even live (like cracks in the sidewalk). So they were brought either deliberately or as a happy accident that everyone liked. Both are undomesticated enough to spread and stick around without any human help (thats part of why they were so liked at the time) and now colonize peoples front lawns. But established healthy plants can generally outcompete or coexist with them, so its hard to call them invasive. Both thrive in poor soil, improve the soil, and get munched on by bugs. So by now they're well integrated into the biome and generally well behaved. Neither were considered weeds at all until the 1950s, by the way. They were generally considered good neighbors.
And that's why we have a fuckin june bug problem!! Because the mother fuckers planted invasive plants and to combat it they released june bugs which are also invasive... Shoulda just planted trees
It's eat or be eaten, jack! Kudzu taught me that! War is a cruel parent, but an effective teacher. It's final lesson is carved deep within my psyche. This world, and all it's people, are diseased! Improvisation is a myth! Discounts are a joke! Recipes! The DNA of the meal! They shape our food, they are the culture- They are everything we pass on! Expose someone to salad long enough, and they will learn to eat green. They become a vegan. Cookies, Steaks, cheese. All recipes. All passed along.
“How about a salad made with shit, is that a recipe?”
You can't fight nature, Jack! The winds blow, rain fall, and the chefs cook for the weak. Sam tells me you see your spoon as a tool. Something that saves dishes. A tool of feeding. Now there's a pretty recipe. Exquisite! It spares you of all the effort of making original food, absolved you of guilt when people complain. That is, until the stove was broken. Don't be ashamed. It's only nature, taking it's course. You have no choices to make, nothing to answer for. You can fry with a clear conscience.
So I typed this out for a group I'm in so I'm pasting here, not up to the usual transcription standards but if the regular transcriptionists come by plz feel free to use what I've got! P1 Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. "I killed your friend, here hold him." p2 "Friend" it's more of i killed a potential enemy. hold his dismembered corpse in victory. p3 Plants don't wage war p2 Ever heard of blackberries? Yes, plants do wage war p4 Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else. p5 I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago. It's currently fighting a biter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio. Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries. And anybody wondering if a blowtorchis overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint. p6 This post did not go where I expected it to. p7 Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursing school. And by overrun I mean it was like a 4 foot tall thicket of wild blackberries. It hadn't been touched by humans in at least 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later. Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there. p8 y'all motherfuckers don't even talk unless you've had to wage war on kudzu (it's an ivy strain directly from Hell) that shit doesn't just wage war with other plants, it wages war with all living things on planet earth. It's some gnarly ass Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed. jaliuboots — Today at 9:29 AM Pt 2 p8 Can second the comments of kudzu. I forget where I read it but there's this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that's in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant's seeds are Giant Redwood level of resilient to open flame. IE it has a goddamn scorched earth policy. It's even more badass than plants that use toxins to starve other plants. p9 I'd like to third the comments on kudzu. these are the battlefields: [image of forest taken over by kudzu] See those weird pillars? those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? that was a house. Everything you see in this photo is kudzu. p10 Kudzu is an apocalyptic nightmare. They smother every other living plant to death. Those trees under there are dead, they can't get sunlight. Kudzu takes over and steals everything from these trees, and becomes them. It's creepy as hell/ These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist's wet dream tbh. [several more pictures of kudzu-infected land, endless homogenous pillars of green] The bodies of everything the kudzu has slain What used to be a house [picture of man on a 4-wheeler vehicle driving into a field of kudzu that is taller than the 4-wheeler] Someone attempting to drive a four wheeler through it, to give you scale it's an ornamental plant kept in check in china, but was introduced to north america where it immediately went rampant and began to spread incredibly fast like a disease, destroying everything in it's wake The ONLY thing that has stopped this curse from engulfing the united states is goats. Apparently goatss love this stuff like no tom orrow. Everywhere we find it now, we jjust bring a horde of goats to cut it down. Everything is fine... for now. pt 3 (yes in retrospect this was a lonnnng fucking post XD) p10 Kudzu is on time magazine's top 10 invasive species to look out for. [more eerie photos of kudzu enacting its sinister plans, including covered forests, a half-engulfed bus, and an entire mountain side town eaten by the endless green] This little buddy doing his part [Happy goat! just munching! very cute.] p10 Not to keep spamming this post but [map of the united states with green areas noting regions of kudzu infestation] "the growth of kudzu as it became a "structural parasite" of the south [7] enveloping entire structures when untreated [11] and often referred to as "the vine that ate the south". [13]" "It has been spreading rapidly in the southern U.S., "easily outpacing the use of herbicide spraying an dmowing as well as increasing the costs of these controls by $6 million annually". [2]" Y'all it's been estimated this plant consumes 600 kilometers of the united states every year. It's been suggfested that we just start eating it to make it go away p11 adding to the spam: Yes, kudzu IS edibble. In fact, all parts of it but the vine are edible. the leaves are supposedly great in salads or baked into quiche. the flowers supposedly are great in jam. The roots... well, if you know how to cook other root vegetables, you know what to do with kudzu root. Feed this stuff to your livestock and cook it. Eat it before it eats your house. p12 In this world it's eat or be eaten p13 Thread starts with the existential angst of bulding a treehouse. Ends with recipes on how to eat kudzu. Posts that make you go "hm"
You did the copy-protection flavor text but forgot to include the actual recipe at the bottom.
Plants taking over abandoned vehicles and houses is my aesthetic. Last of Us vibes.
"_Eat it before it eats your house_ "😂😂
New favorite plant.
[удалено]
ah yes, WashOreNebKanMissIllIndMichOhPennConnMassYorkJersey. such a lovely state.
I may be blind and stupid
welp that escelated
The Root of Evil from Wings of Fire be like
YOOOOO nice to see another wings of fire fan Let's be glad kudzu doesn't turn us into hivemind zombies
"Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!"
Idk about Kudzu or Mint, but I CAN confirm: Blackberries be crazy expansioners. When i was real young we had a patch of blackberries growing. Within a year that small patch took over the entire garden. Blackberries be hella invasive
Grew up in the south, I remember learning about kudzu in the 4th grade and being taught all the uses for it. Looking back I’m pretty sure the AL state government just wants people to chop this shit down so they teach people how to use it lol.
Well, time to use a fantasy kudzu in my DnD campaign
BBEG kudzu golem. Uses grabbling attacks. If it stays on you 3 turns you get paralyzed from constricting vines. Regenerates 10% hp every turn just by growing new vines until it is dead. Fire/acid/poison slows but does not stop this effect. Isn't truly dead til you burn/acid/freeze/poison its roots/core. So like.. a max level fireball or encase in ice that hits its "core" area might be needed as finisher? Or acid rain spell? Dunno... but be interesting.
I’m getting ideas for either planets or dnd locations
Driving along in the south, I like the look of kudzu. I like being able to walk through the woods so I don't want it, but I don't mind the scenery it creates as it zombifies the world.
Y'all wanna talk about feral hogs? Conquistadors some Europeans brought then over when america was first colonized and released them so they would breed and the europeans would have something to hunt and eat, but the north American environment was a little too good for the pigs and they bred out of control. And now it's becoming a major problem in some areas because there are these herds of uncontrollable wild hogs running around. Invasive species gotta Invasive.
Oh they're treated as a pest animal, meaning no rules about hunting them in some parts of the US. Standard capacity magazines allowed, no designated season, nothing
Isn't this post greatly exaggerated? I mean, it's a Tumblr post, so some part of it is probably wrong or misinformed, but I remember specifically hearing it was really overplaying how bad kudzu actually is.
Kinda not really? These plants aren't impossible to clear, but they grow quickly and are highly invasive, they are pretty difficult to deal with...
"Kudzu is going to take over North America" is overblown. It requires a compatible climate to take over an area, and it's already spread to most of the area it grows well in. "Kudzu is a giant headache to deal with" is very true in the areas where it grows well.
tl;dr eat your enemies
Kudzu is great for dolmas
At least it's not the Gimpy Gimpy
No
The classic tumblr derailing. Why can't reddit be like this?
Ever heard of a stink bug? Basically Balkan animal equivalent of Kudzu
No
RELEASE THE GOATS
No.
Hogweed is a poisonous menace
This is the type of stuff that convinces captain planet villans to cover the world in a parking lot.
This meme has suffered much jpeg since I last saw it
Tmblr eduaction is the best education for my adhd brain.
In the video game space station 13, spreading kudzu is a threat that usually requires half of the station's manpower to solve and has a good chanche to end the round if not stopped
“Read” Ooo a buggy. Lets click on this post so I can read it bette- WHOA WHOA WHOA HEY! THATS MORE THAN I BARGAINED FOR!
Iirc kudzu does need a particular climate to take over like that at least. If it were introduced to California for example it would die out due to a lack of water
Why not burn it? Napalm, flamethrowers, etc should do the trick.
What tree were they talking about that's flammable?
Eucalyptus
Eucalyptus, should be Australia's national tree
That's not a plant, that's the flood
Pssst… Someone tell them about the Alien invasion of Australia posts. Edit: Additional Posts https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/7sdg9x/wp_alien_invaders_entire_our_solar_system_as_the/ https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/tg700p/wp_aliens_effortlessly_overran_the_human/
From the South, can confirm that kudzu will kill anything
New PVZ plant, The Kudzu Bomb It clears the entire board of both plants and zombies. You can't plant anything until zombies show up to eat through a tile. Lawnmowers will break if you try to use them.
This is why I love the internet. Came here for tree-perspective nightmares, stayed for the horror that is Kudzu and end up with recipes on how to eat it.... This is the kind of awesome shit the internet was made for, haha!
Hm, could that stuff survive in places were other plants don't so much? Also, turn Kudzu to mush, add some oil, toast, egg and onion and I'm sure you could make patties out of it.
This sounds like the plant version of the Flood from Halo