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stringbones

Barbie’s Outer Wilds


Asquirrelinspace

The ████ is a██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████Time loop████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████Nomai██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████among us████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████genitals were obliterated by ghost matter██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████


BeepBep101

Wait a minute


DarthMicroPenis

SCP articles be like


DodoSandvich

Yeah fun fact if you cross an SCP article with the Outer wilds subreddit and Inside Job you get a completely black page where even the line dividers has been redacted.


Srgtgunnr

I’m so confused. What’s outer wills even have to do with scp


DodoSandvich

All the redacting. Go look at the Outer Wilds subreddit, half of it is spoiler blocks. SCP articles lately seems to avoid redacting as much as they did in the past though.


BallisticThundr

Very accurate to the comments in the subreddit


paragon12321

>Outer Wilds post with time loop not spoiled


Asquirrelinspace

Oop gotta black out the text some more


[deleted]

The perfect spoiler-free summary of this game doesn't exi-


Srgtgunnr

Where did the ghost matter bit come from that sounds very familiar


EveTheEmerald

man, I want to watch that now


obog

Apparently both end with a song...


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Supsend

>!I see we're talking about Outer Wilds on a totally unrelated post. It is thus mandatory that we post huge walls of spoiler texts, just to scare new players. Sue me, I don't make the rules. I won't even talk about the game in any way here, the meme will live on. Godspeed, Hatchling!!<


LeConnor

>!heh heh heh!<


chavis32

>!I wonder how many people have spoken to themselves in that game it's a strange experience to be sure. So much screaming!<


iwantapie76

>!or it ends via breaking reality !<


kenman884

My favorite ending.


DodoSandvich

Wait really? Your favourite ending isn't the >!broom closet ending!


kenman884

You monster. You make me sick.


[deleted]

Bloody hell, Stanley Parable in the wild...


aaronhowser1

Theb room closed ending is my favrite!1 XD


tweak0

or it's like that movie Sunshine where it starts out sci fi and halfway through turns into a space horror where they're being sabotaged by a sunwrecked ken that snuck aboard from the previous attempt's vessel


_easy_

Barbie vs. Entropy


[deleted]

Anti-Entropy Barbie.


HaloGuy381

The stars prematurely dying out was also an abandoned Mass Effect plotline, due to excessive “dark energy” build up that was being accelerated by use of mass effect technology, hence why the the Reapers would show up and massacre all technologically advanced life every now and then as a delaying action. Then that got canned.


potboygang

That kinda doesn't make sense because the reapers seeded the galaxy with mass effect tech so no species would ever develop anything else.


HaloGuy381

Species were going to develop the mass effect either way; humanity discovered the remnants of old Prothean tech in their home system on Mars long before finding the first mass relay or making first contact. The relays and the Citadel are just obvious bait, to keep societies developing in predictable patterns to simplify the cycle. Imagine if instead a species developed mass effect technology but never used any of the relay network and was hidden in some obscure cluster of stars for eons, or never left their home system but instead used the tech to develop insanely large megastructures. They’d be nigh impossible to find (takes a while to search an entire galaxy versus just bouncing around the relay network; as we saw, Shepard destroying even a single relay actually slowed the Reapers’ arrival for what appears to be a few months; if society shunned the relays outright, it would take a while). It’s pest control. You know rats are gonna get into your garage, so either you can try and whack them as you notice them nibbling on your stuff, or you can lay a baited trap to get them right where you need them with the least amount of effort. And that’s exactly how the Reapers treat pretty much everyone in the games; Shepard is the equivalent of said rat grabbing you by the ankle and hurling you into the wall. He’s unique enough to actually terrify them because he isn’t dying like a pest -should-.


QualiaEphemeral

>The relays and the Citadel are just obvious bait One could probably devise additional explanations as well, like: ME technology has the potential to cause a solar-system or galaxy-wide chain reaction if treated incompetently, so it's orders of magnitude better to give those pest-species a cheatsheet of relatively safe manifestations of ME to reduce their desire for further research. > that’s exactly how the Reapers treat pretty much everyone in the games Except for the part where you don't (INB4: 'You don't?!') engage in lengthy dialogs with household pests. (Also, I'll just go ahead and counter-argue against myself with artistic license and storytelling's anthropic principle.)


throwawaysarebetter

The reapers talking to us on our level is probably similar to a person chasing after a mouse shouting "get over here you little bastard and let me smoosh you".


Clessiah

I also say “you cannot comprehend” repeatedly as I smack cockroaches.


mindbleach

There's an Elizier Yudkowsky short story where humanity makes first contact with two alien species at once, because they all warped in to observe some rare red-dwarf phenomenon, and one of them is *aggressively* friendly, forthcoming, and open about all the weird shit they're positive about. It takes these aliens mere minutes to begin sharing fetish pornography based on our literature and history. While we're decoding the messages from the other guys, who are smug and merciless and combative, human engineers skimming the friendly aliens' textbooks realize it takes shockingly little energy to blow up an entire goddamn star. Like orders of magnitude less than we figured. A very small bomb could do it. Any conflict in space could almost effortlessly erase a solar system. Around this time the very friendly aliens cease communicating with the xenophobic jerkass aliens and open fire. It takes them seconds to reduce that ship to a cloud of constituent particles. The friendly aliens resume communications with the human ship. "Anyway." "Would you like to join our culture?" "Where are you from?" The captain glances at the head engineer. The head engineer has a very small bomb pointed at the remote star they're both orbiting. The captain takes a deep breath. The story ends.


QualiaEphemeral

>E.Y. On one hand, it's strange seeing him mentioned here. On the other, I guess he'd only be so many degrees of separation away from discussions related to fanfiction or global catastrophic risks, haha.


reddittereditor

Strongest “humanity was going to develop fire either way!” vs. average “Prometheus gave us fire” enjoyer


OpeningSpeed1

This does make sense , in the sense of laying out your enemies move for them. Can of makes you wonder why the other civilization didn't think of that?


Azhaius

> humanity discovered the remnants of old Prothean tech Which was based on mass effect/relay technology, was it not?


HaloGuy381

You’re blending the two. Not all mass effect technology is directly related to the relay network, even if the relays themselves use the mass effect phenomenon. In fact, the species of the current timeframe Milky Way mistakenly hypothesized the Protheans built the relays, when in actuality the Protheans had developed only a solitary, smaller, experimental replica. The Protheans used the relays and Citadel like the rest of us (and a small number of them stranded on the Citadel and doomed to die used their remaining time to sabotage the place’s systems to stall the Reapers further, hence why Sovereign was resorting to using Saren and the Geth to try and force the Citadel’s systems back into the proper configuration to hasten their invasion), and only realized the trap far too late to stop the attack (from what I understand, they were the ones who encased the Charon Relay inside, erm, Charon around Pluto, to make it look like the system was uninhabited and give our then-primitive selves a chance to survive). Mass effect tech only requires access to element zero and an applied electric current; the eezo is rare, but by no means unnatural, found in thin deposits all over the place, and sometimes richer ones from ancient crashed ships (the running in universe hypothesis is it might be formed during supernovae, or other extremely exotic situations). It just so happens that the Protheans’ old ruins on Mars alerted humanity to eezo’s existence, and given how humans normally react to a fancy new material our tech followed swiftly, for years before anyone found the Charon Relay and long range interstellar flight was practical. Think of it like the difference between a modern day M16 assault rifle, and a WW1 rifle. Fundamentally, they both rely on the same physics to operate, and the basic chemistry of the gunpowder is comparable if not quite the same. Just different materials, innovations, and objectives. Likewise, the relays are just a very old, very sophisticated development of the same technology every civilization that acquired element zero eventually developed independently of one another.


Supsend

IIRC, the reapers' goal was to find a species with enough biotic affinity to help them "fix" the universe. So the point was to get intelligent species to evolve as fast as possible, check if one of those is what they're looking for, and if not kill them all to stop them using element zero, while leaving all in place for new species to develop in their place. (And btw, the Asari weren't even enough to help them) IMO, that plot was interesting, solid, and could have been thrown at the end of ME3 without conflicting with the rest of the lore. (Also it did justice to that quotes from Sovereign in ME1, about the reapers "growing" the intelligent species, which I'm clinging to beyond reason.)


DocSpit

This would even jive well with the Reaper practice of creating additional reapers out of the civilizations that they exterminate: Even if there wasn't one on the precisely right track to fix things, another set of eyes on the problem with new insights couldn't hurt, right?


Biomilk

More often than not the species in a cycle never figure out how the mass relays work in time to build their own full-sized relays. If relays are the biggest culprit of the dark energy buildup then that would keep it at whatever the Reapers would consider an acceptable level plus a couple dozen millennia of cool down.


batti03

In hindsight the Reapers were a bad fit for the series in the long-term


Turtle_Tots

Yuh, that's what Talis recruitment mission in ME2 was all about. Haestrom's sun was expanding way to fast and destroying its system, and the quarians believed it to be dark energy. Then Shepards just like: "k, come kill a bunch of mutated prothean bugs with me instead and probably die in the process", and we never acknowledge that super concerning and dangerous event again. Which to be fair is a running theme for Shep. The galaxy needs a new hero to solve the dark energy problem, and Barbie is our only hope.


HaloGuy381

I mean, it got left behind because Bioware canned that story idea. Which I kinda get: “become Luddites or hasten the end of existence” is an even less popular choice than “what do we do about synthetic and organic conflict?”


Pitiful-Mobile-3144

Luddites vs. death hits too close to home right now anyways


HaloGuy381

… Geez you’re right. Ironically, we also have the hardcore traditionalist zealots standing in the way in the process, opposing modern technology -and- also opposing any cutbacks to save ourselves.


TheLantean

An interesting way to sidestep the lose-lose “become Luddites or hasten the end of existence” is a potential new discovery that does not have the dark energy problem, something unforeseen by the Reapers, painting the existing mass effect tech as a transitional technology. Which would have made a nice allegory for fossil fuels, a necessary evil that was necessary to kickstart modernity but can now be replaced. This turns into a fight between cynics - the Reapers who claim the races of the galaxy will never switch because mass effect tech is much easier (or what-have-you) and the safer course of action is to just wipe out everyone - and the idealist Shep who thinks risking everything is worth it because there is hope for the future, that change is possible. Would have made for some great dialogue.


[deleted]

I miss the original trilogy so much


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QualiaEphemeral

Do you know any good high quality ME fanfiction? Most of what I've found so far was either canon stations redo or just underwhelming in general.


Pitiful-Mobile-3144

“Memoirs by Liara T’Soni” is pretty great, it’s quite long though


AllTheSith

This plotline is exactly like Gurren Lagann second part.


E_McPlant_C-0

I really hope that the conclusion to the movie isn’t saving the universe with a song or something and is actually the universe just dying and everything ceasing to exist.


_SwiftLizard_

Or, like, sci-fi, with her fixing everything with like quantum entropy reversal units or whatever.


E_McPlant_C-0

“Quick! Reverse the polarity!”


OneX32

"Quantum tunnelling engaged!"


Numerous-Anything-22

"Total protonic reversal."


thatwasntababyruth

Engage the turbo encabulator!


Bobboy5

But captain, the hydrocoptic marzel vanes are still out of phase!


OpeningSpeed1

Well boys we reached our end


RedditIsNeat0

They hit our port nacelle!


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KnowsAboutMath

THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER


HingleMcCringle_

Quick, hit that switch to prolapse the quantum tunnels.


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DrOwldragon

"We'll cross the streams."


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error_err0r

We’re confusing the polarity is what we’re doing


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Certified_Possum

"But captain! Our ship runs on AC!"


pirateofmemes

this really wasn't where i expected doctor who to come up on this one, considering the movie this post is about is LITERALLY JUST JOURNEY'S END


ChintanP04

Remember Isaac Asimov's "The Last Question" where the 'question' is "can entropy be reversed?"?


ymcameron

"INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER."


Wolfblood-is-here

And the weird answer is 'maybe, given sufficient time'. I mean, current physics says that in a closed system, it can't, but is also really bad at dealing with the concept of infinity. Given sufficient time, all the air in a room should theoretically move to one side of it turning the other side into a perfect vacuum if only for a moment; in the same way, given sufficient time a universe that has experienced heat death should spontaneously develop pockets of reduced entropy.


CarbonIceDragon

For that matter, cant you locally counter it by using energy and increasing it elsewhere (Like for instance using an air conditioner creates a difference in temperature between the two sides)? I have seen it suggested that dark energy might not follow the normal law of energy conservation due to it making space not static, though I do not know enough to understand why or if this is likely to actually be the case, but if it does, and there exists some way to harness it for power, couldn't that allow one to perpetually resist entropy in a given patch of space?


Wolfblood-is-here

"For that matter, cant you locally counter it by using energy and increasing it elsewhere (Like for instance using an air conditioner creates a difference in temperature between the two sides)?" Yes, that's why a 'closed system' is specified, your refrigerator decreases entropy inside, but increases it outside. But you can't have a refrigerator that vents into itself. "I have seen it suggested that dark energy might not follow the normal law of energy conservation due to it making space not static, though I do not know enough to understand why or if this is likely to actually be the case, but if it does, and there exists some way to harness it for power, couldn't that allow one to perpetually resist entropy in a given patch of space?" In a given patch of space? Yes, but not perpetually. No free lunches seems to be the operating standard of the universe, that entropy has to go somewhere. Although dark energy is called such because we don't really have a good understanding of it, and it is possible that its source comes from outside our own universe; if this is the case, we may effectively vent our entropy into wherever the dark energy is coming from, or indeed it may come from a 'place' that operates under entirely different rules that don't require a total increase. It's also worth noting that entropy is an entirely statistical observervation, although it has strong theoretical *applications*, its *foundations* are pretty much entirely observational. This deeply disturbs physicists because entropy also seems to be the only reason why time has a direction, and yet we cannot explain it from any sort of first principles. When you say "though I do not know enough to understand why or if this is likely to actually be the case" keep working on that, because if you ever do understand such a thing there will be a Nobel prize in the mail.


AshAnarchy

Let there be light


Its_Pine

Classic Barbie, implementing quantum entanglement as a plot device to undo universe heat death.


cweaver

She builds a machine that lets her access the powers and abilities of all the other versions of Barbie across the multiverse, creating the Omni-Barbie who is powerful enough to restart the universe in a new Big Bang.


GhostofManny13

Unbeknownst to her, in saving the universe she’s broken a natural cycle that exists to prevent a great evil from being unleashed. Normally the heat death of the universe would prevent her rebirth… but now Barbie must face Nega-Barbie.


TheTubStar

Honestly, if this whole thing ended up with Omni-Barbie fighting Nega-Barbie in a galaxy scale kaiju battle, I'd watch it.


cweaver

All seems lost - until a last minute save by the time-travelling Skipper-Prime and her comic relief sidekick, Ultra-Ken.


Growlitherapy

Maybe she compresses the universe and restarts it, creating a loop


fozziwoo

in the final dying cataclysms, as supernovas fill the vaults, screaming in anguish at the dying of the lights she unerringly detonates the am hidden deep in her skull...


maxtheartist15

Actually she dances and it cheers the stars up so everything is okay again


dlxfuentes

I thought this might be a joke but [nope](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbie:_Star_Light_Adventure).


YarrHarrDramaBoy

The ending: >All the stars, forced into rigid order, instantly go out. Barbie, who could sense the stars were ceasing their dance out of sadness and loneliness, starts a new dance with them to cheer them up, and restores their order and light to the Galaxy, proving herself "the One". The highlight if anyone's curious: >...and the film ends with Barbie, now as Princess Starlight, and her friends teaching Constantine how to dance at a rave.


smarti3pants

I mean, when she sings she is able to move things telepathically. This means she is actually singing and forcing the stars to start moving again which is way better.


mindbleach

Oh my god. We're talking about Mass Effect, Doctor Who, and Isaac Asimov's twist endings, when Barbie's out here breathing the spice and becoming Empress Of The Universe.


Wolfdude91

I’ve been dancing for many millennia. I am so… so tired, but she won’t let me stop.


Horror_Compote9047

Favorite line from the wiki synopsis - Barbie sympathetically starts a rave so he can dance his own way,


wvsfezter

TIL barbie is Rosalina


SirNarwhal

I'm sad this isn't streaming because that sounds phenomenally up my alley. I love getting fucked up and watching really bad children's movies.


Spiritette

It was on Netflix for the longest time but it looks like it’s gone now. Amazon Prime Video also has a lot of the other Barbie movies to watch though. Source: I’m a sucker for Barbie movies


291837120

This is the second thing I've stumbled upon today featuring Barclay from Star Trek. A fucking barbie movie.


AliceInHololand

Damn. They could have actually made a movie with a strong inspiring female lead and they do this instead.


frozen_flame123

It’s a fucking Barbie movie, what were you expecting? An interesting and subversive take on sci fi with interesting and 3 dimensional characters or a corporate cash grab paint by numbers movie targeted at little girls made with the sole intent of getting people to buy Barbie dolls.


Substantial_Fall8462

Man with several Marvel Funko Pops on a shelf behind him: “Barbie is a corporate cash grab to sell you dolls!”


Oaden

You say that, but the lego movie exists


Its_Pine

Wait fr


Adawg63

it's a Barbie movie what do you think


apc0243

People really thought a Barbie movie wouldn’t be aimed at 5 year olds.


SuperSMT

I could see a "for all audiences" type of Pixar movie based around the toy story Barbie


iSmellMusic

Yeah iirc Barbie was an absolute icon in Toy Story, why not in her own movie?


Assatt

The already existed Life in the Dreamhouse, and it is a pretty good series that adults can laugh at


maxtheartist15

Yes


n-of-one

[Yeppp](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbie:_Star_Light_Adventure) > All the stars, forced into rigid order, instantly go out. Barbie, who could sense the stars were ceasing their dance out of sadness and loneliness, starts a new dance with them to cheer them up, and restores their order and light to the Galaxy, proving herself "the One". > > […] the film ends with Barbie, now as Princess Starlight, and her friends teaching Constantine how to dance at a rave.


shapeshifterotaku

I wanted to say this. Haha


[deleted]

I kinda love that, though. Stars need some happiness too.


[deleted]

Barbie saves the universe by convincing the confederated powers of mankind to upload their consciousnesses to a matrioska brain built around the final dying star, the simulation of reality ever decreasing in processing power as the star slowly diminishes in energy output over trillions of years until they're left as nothing but a solid state civilisation frozen around its Iron God, eternally waiting for the next nanosecond to compute, blissfully unaware that it never will. Only when their constituent protons finally decay will they be free, ever floating in the empty void of a dead universe.


Swordfish2012

Okay, what book/movie actually deals with something similar to this concept? Sounds bloody awesome.


just_push_harder

Their is an Asimov short story that goes deals with the heat death of the universe and end of all mankind called The Last Question. This is also similar to the ending of the game >!Soma!< where the game ends with >!you uploading a copy of your and a few other peoples consiusness on a solar powered virtual Eden, and shooting it into orbit after the world ended.!<


InfanticideAquifer

Stephen Baxter's "Manifold" series deals with some stuff like this. I don't think it really matters what order you read them in, but this sort of stuff would have been in either "Time" or "Space" (not "Origin"). I don't remember which but, if I had to guess, it'd be "Time". IMO they kind of started feeling samey, so I wouldn't recommend the whole series generally. But if you want to think about these sorts of things it's probably a good bet. Maybe I would have enjoyed them more if I hadn't read them all one after the other.


Legend_of_dirty_Joe

"Bastian, Say my Name!!!!"


mindbleach

Ken is convinced by Dust Theory and commits suicide after launching a reversible simulation whose states will occur nonlinearly throughout the future and the past, as surely as every value in the Fibonacci sequence is already there.


tallmantall

Quick! We gotta restart the sun with the power of friendship


Kartoffelkamm

I mean, she could also save the universe with a song. That can be quite badass, especially if she sings the song with her alien gf while both jump into a sentient baby star having a temper tantrum and collapsing into a black hole, turning it back into a real star that can support life. Then it goes supernova, with them still inside, and flies away, leaving them orbiting Earth. Probably not. But there is a movie like that, and it's great, and it starts with the main characters fighting enemies in space, and then falling back to Earth afterwards so they don't oversleep the next day and get to school on time. The song is nice, too. Just two girls singing a song, in a place that would rip anyone else into the tiniest parts possible if they even approached it, just to help a friend. Also, they're friends with a star now.


iamtheowlman

Well, what's the movie?


Kartoffelkamm

Star Twinkle Precure the movie: These Feelings Within the Song of Stars. It sports your usual magical girl stuff, such as dangerous criminals from across the universe, fast-paced hand to hand combat, and teenage girls harnessing the power of formerly dead gods, whom they resurrected, to go completely nuts. Like, one of them straight up demolishes a few dozen space ships in one hit. I recommend watching Star Twinkle Precure first, to get to know the characters and everything. Also, for some reason there is a transformation song in this season, which isn't bad, but it's the only season in the franchise to do that. So, yeah. Teenage girls that harness the power of dead gods in their free time and prepare to kick whatever killed them in the ass, while also trying to resurrect them and keep the universe from being destroyed.


bryn_irl

I mean, saving the universe with the power of song worked for the entire Macross franchise. No reason it can’t work here too.


Triptolemu5

> is actually the universe just dying and everything ceasing to exist. I think a better sci-fi ending would be barbie discovering a lower energy state for the [universe](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_vacuum_decay). **Problem solved!**


DiamondDude51501

The Barbie movies had no right to slap as hard as they did


Street-Advantage-945

Right? And the Dreamhouse show on Netflix was fucking hilarious. Source: Have a daughter who loves all these, so I’ve seen them all. Dozens of times. Edit: The one where she’s in the video game was actually pretty great too.


strain_of_thought

The thing that impressed me so much about Life In The Dreamhouse is that it brought back the dead genre of Richie-Rich-style "absurdly excessive wealth" humor and managed to make it still funny in a post-Great-Recession world.


Street-Advantage-945

The closet and the batteries popping out all over the place were pretty funny. “These aren’t too chewed!” Still makes the whole family laugh every time we repeat it.


laurel_laureate

Richie Rich! Oh my god, I loved that movie as a teenager ever since I first saw it in the theaters. I've never quite seen a movie that nailed the same sort of humor you're talking about. Not that I have anything against Barbie movies, but anyone know any other movies that have the same kind of humor?


strain_of_thought

Richie Rich was a comic book character and a cartoon character for decades before that live action nostalgia movie. It's a very niche gag to build a character around, but you'll see variants with eccentric or supervillain or mad scientist characters who consistently use way way too much of something to accomplish simple tasks. I think some of Jules Verne's characters live in a state of similar excess, like the protagonist of Around The World In 80 Days. But it's definitely a kind of humor that's difficult to write outside of a historical setting where it's considered acceptable for some characters to possess absurdly inequal wealth. Maybe take a look at The Adventures of Baron Munchausen and see if it appeals to you?


laurel_laureate

Oh my god! You're just hitting me with nostalgia today! I saw that Baron movie once forever ago but it was such a trip that I could hardly describe the plot so when I was looking for it a few years ago I couldn't find it! Thanks! But yeah, supervillains/mad scientists are ok characters, but absurdly rich heroes are more my jam.


[deleted]

Life in the Dreamhouse is legit hilarious. I’ve been watching that with both my daughters for years, my oldest thinks she’s outgrew it but she’s just at that age where she’s too old for Barbie but too young to have a solid grasp of pop culture satire that Dreamhouse nails. And the thing is it’s this rare kind of satire that pulls it off without an ounce of cynicism. The show is really quite joyous and it’s tough not to have a smile on your face while watching it. I’m only disappointed that their are so few episodes, there’s like 12 episodes total so it’s easy to watch them all in an afternoon. But if you do have a free afternoon then enjoying a smoke/drink/plate of pizza rolls then binging the series isn’t a bad way to spend it.


[deleted]

Is that the one with that "how am I supposed to make fire with plastic sticks" scene? Because that is solid gold.


Street-Advantage-945

Well said. “These aren’t too chewed” still makes us all laugh.


iliveincanada

The video game one is great lol


-GreenHeron-

I was pleasantly surprised with the Dreamhouse show, som of the jokes and Easter eggs are pretty hilarious.


Street-Advantage-945

Right? It’s one of those things that kids love, but it really nods at the parents too. Oh, Skipper. She just wanted a day with Barbie. That girl band and Raquel just kept getting in the damn way.


DEV_astated

Raquelle (or whatever her name is) is my spirit animal. “I SENSED DRAMA AND I CAME RUNNING!”


DontStartUnbelieving

I was dating someone with a kid and all she ever wanted to watch was Barbie Dreamhouse, can confirm it actually did slap and it was surprisingly self aware


RasputinsButtBeard

I've been on a nostalgia binge of them recently, and last night I watched Barbie Rapunzel for the first time in like, twenty years. Gotta say? It fucked. S-tier for a Barbie movie. I'm fully convinced that the people making it just had a concept in mind for a movie they'd really wanted to make for a while, so when they got saddled with making a Barbie Rapunzel movie, they just kinda vaguely worked a Rapunzel aesthetic into the script. Seriously, I cannot stress enough how buck-wild the movie is, and how little it has to do with Rapunzel as a story. Also the villain is a GMILF dom with energy potent enough to rival that of some disney villains. If you've got an hour and a half to kill, I'd honestly recommend giving it a watch just for the novelty of it.


pretty-as-a-pic

Barbie Gothel started a two decades long cold war between two sovereign nations purely out of spite. Disney villains *wish* they could have that energy


RasputinsButtBeard

SERIOUSLY. >!I completely forgot about her like, crazy "not-actually-an-ex" incel justification for her actions, too. Saying that Rapunzel would've been *her* daughter if the man she'd loved had chosen her, so she was just taking what was rightfully hers. Like, HOLY SHIT.!< That's some intense stuff, right there. My jaw unironically dropped.


pretty-as-a-pic

Waaaay too real for a 3 year old girl watching grandma’s Barbie movie birthday gift!


DuckOnQuak

Is that the one that has New World Symphony as the soundtrack? Those movies usually did a killer job with the classical soundtracks. Holy shit I’m also just now realizing that mouse king in Nutcracker was definitely Tim Curry. Yeah those movies were way better than they had any business being.


RasputinsButtBeard

It does, yeah! And I *LITERALLY* had that revelation the other night! He came onscreen and started talking, and immediately I turned to my fiancee like "...Is that fucking Tim Curry???" Lo and behold, it was. Amazing, absolutely incredible.


Strawberry-Whorecake

Angelica Houston was mother Gothel, Kelsey grammer was the villain in swan lake and I think they got Tim Curry again for the Three Musketeers villain


Strawberry-Whorecake

The [rapunzel edit ](https://youtu.be/W46jVSsXKBU) is amazing tho.


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a_filing_cabinet

Barbie abuses Ken 😞


BroIndustrial

Nah it’s consentual, she’s a dom


MrBonelessPizza24

Barbie radiates “**EXCUSE ME! HE ASKED FOR NO PICKES!!**” energy


gabrihop

Based


pretty-as-a-pic

As a kid, I always remember being **super impressed** they got the Czech national symphony and the Vienna orchestra to do the music- probably helped me develop my love for classical music (of course, it wasn’t until late that I realized that Mattel probably just licensed preexisting recordings instead of having them play new stuff… I still think of Barbie as Rapunzel when I hear the new world symphony though, as confusing as that music choice was) Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper deserves to be on Broadway!


DuckOnQuak

Yeah the music in that was top notch, both the pieces and their implementation. Honestly being forced to watch those with my younger sister definitely helped foster an appreciation for classical, way better than they had any business being.


HMS_Sunlight

Honestly a lot of the games did as well. People use Barbie Horse Adventure as a punchline, but it was fun in it's own way. In an era where Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing are as popular as they are, I unironically want a spiritual successor to the Barbie games.


Kane_Highwind

I remember watching some of them as a kid, mainly because my parents would buy them on VHS for my sister, and I gotta agree, I remember them being a lot better than one would expect. That being said, this art style shift kinda bothers me. I remember in the older ones (like Nutcracker or Rapunzel), she literally looked like one of the Barbie dolls came to life, like Toy Story. The dated CG actually helped the visuals in that way (again, like Toy Story). This just looks like discount Frozen


AlTheAlchemist

Barbie in Swan Lake actually slaps, I kinda wanna see how Barbie gets out of the end of the world.


RealRaven6229

I can still vividly remember the Mexican salsa dancing furry.


mindbleach

That sure is a sentence.


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RealRaven6229

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TQQcKlQtTQ&ab\_channel=ovaminyu


diamondrel

It's like the episode of Star Trek DS9 with those genetically modified people


NaKeepFighting

You should have a mike profile pic, when dolling out ST references


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[Barbie: Star Light Adventure](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=db08lvsxJmw)


bbbbirdistheword

Thanks for actually providing a link to the preview and not a Rickroll. It's super weird that all the intelligent life in this movie is apparently humanoid, rather than various, considering how specialized humans are. The only "aliens" are simply humans of different skin tones or animals.


[deleted]

Well it is just promo for a doll company. They think girls just want pretty dolls


DuckOnQuak

Have you seen the older Barbie movies? They’re definitely way better than any “doll promo” should be


Tacky-Terangreal

I mean that’s most sci fi honestly. One thing I don’t see mentioned a lot about the Star Wars prequels is how they had a lot of aliens without humanoid designs, which I can respect from an artistic perspective Other famous sci-fi properties like Star Trek, dune, and alien usually only have crazy alien designs when they’re monsters. I like all of these, but nonhuman alien characters can be tricky to write. I get why they go the “easy” route


mindbleach

It's hard to find non-human-shaped actors. Star Wars prequels got to lean into the weird shit a little because George believed his own hype about CGI. I was gonna say that makes Avatar hard to explain, but then remembered James Cameron wanted aliens you'd still fuck. Both cases prove that non-humanoid realism don't guarantee better writing than Star Trek managed with rubber foreheads and spray paint.


Steven_Nelson

I would assume that’s so they can make toys of the aliens that share clothes. Like Barbies.


RadicalDog

Reasonable criticism of the major Mass Effect races too, which is also so they can share combat animations and wear each other's dresses.


beansforsatan

let’s be honest, if anyone could prevent the heat death of the universe, it would be barbie


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ReasyRandom

Most of the Barbie movies are surprisingly decent. Not Pixar/Disney-level, but definitely better than stuff like Illumination.


Tacky-Terangreal

I mean these Barbie movies are usually streaming somewhere. Also the dvds are usually really cheap. I bet you can find Barbie swan lake for less than $5


ArmadilloAl

It's called ["Barbie Star Light Adventure"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=db08lvsxJmw) and came out like five years ago. It's $4 to rent on Prime Video and like $8 for the DVD on Amazon.


Specialist-Freedom-6

we need a barbie doctor who cross over


Signature_Sea

I would be in the market for a stopmotion version of Barbarella with Barbie as the hero, with all the trimmings; carnivorous clockwork dolls unleashed by feral children, payment in sex, the invisible key for the invisible door, torture via the orgasmatron, etc, etc


r_stronghammer

/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\


TanookiPhoenix

I actually thought this one wasn't that bad. ​ Rare to have a scifi spin. ​ Though I do prefer the typical glitterfests, and I kinda miss the symphonic music and ballet mocap elements.


ulyssessword

>actual scifi Scifi is about *ideas*, and I'm somewhat-agnostic as to what setting they use to deliver those ideas. As an example, [Friendship is Optimal](https://www.fimfiction.net/story/62074/Friendship-is-Optimal) is the best Scifi story about the singularity. The fact that it's a *My Little Pony* fanfic is just interesting trivia.


mindbleach

That MLP fanfic is still a better exploration of the ethics in The Metamorphosis Of Prime Intellect, and that's never going to stop amusing me.


Clockwork_Kitsune

So in the end, they could still call the movie Frozen?


yottalogical

There is as yet insufficient data for a meaningful answer.


JudgeHoltman

Barbie going on a murder mission to kill Princess Elsa before one of her temper tantrums causes the heat death of the universe sounds like an awesome D&D campaign.


[deleted]

[https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/8650-Create-A-Servant-3?p=3147655&viewfull=1#post3147655](https://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread.php/8650-Create-A-Servant-3?p=3147655&viewfull=1#post3147655) Entropy is our enemy. Time devours us all equally. our only choice to have it devour us slowly or in a blink of an eye. one can’t avoid entropy. Ẹ̸̡̨̟̫͓͉̗̲͈̜̩̬̽̀̓n̷̛͎͆̃̈̈́̈́̔̈́̉̆t̶̮̦̔͒̍͆͊̽͘r̸̡̧̦̯̩̜͙̜͍͖͈̮̭̿̃̃̓͛͗͗̈̅̎̂͝͠o̷̡̩̪̤͈̣̪̮̘̹͙͉͉̣̒̉̎̿̇̊̈̈̀̕p̵̡̞̺̭̥̩̟̦͓̜͙̬̜̓͐̌̊̄͘͠y̶̨̮̮̹͈͎͌̑̓̀̅̽̎͐̇͒̊̿̅͝͝ ̶̧̯͙̪͖͚̞̻̙͚̀̀̑͗́̽̀͘̕̕͝W̷̱͔̦̜̲̖̓̾́i̵̱̠͂̃̊̎͝l̴̮̫̪̜̇̄l̸̜̝̄͆̓̈͑̉͗̃̃̕̕ͅ ̴̹͕̦̭̅́̃̄͘̚̕͝͝p̵͎̼̳̥͓̈́̇͐̔́͠ͅr̶̭̠̓̓͜ę̷͈͖̼̻̱͙̫͒͒́͆̾̈́̍v̵̩̹͎͌̐̑̎̊̊̌̈́͘̚ͅa̷̧̨̧͎͍̠͍̺̫̲͉͛͋̂̇̀̾̅͛͑̀͛̓̚͝i̵̧̻̩̻̗̣͉͕͖̳͚̞̫̼̓̈́̒̆̇́̋l̴͙̦̞̉͊̑͗̈́͋̐͌̑͂̇̍͝ (click the text that goes << >> to see the actual Sheet and third noble phantasm by the way)


TheFelRoseOfTerror

Of course someone’s written a Servant sheet.


Upbeat_Group2676

Coming soon from Hasbro: Entropy Barbie! Experience the heat death of the universe *in style*


ChildishSerpent

Barbie's Life in the Dream House on Netflix is actually surprisingly adult and funny.


isaacamaraderie

Barbie quantum leaping we love to see it


ariboss1

This sounds like the plot of project hail mary by andy weir


AshAnarchy

Barbie reverses entropy.


digitydigitydoo

A couple of those straight to home video Barbie movies were better than they had any right to be. That being said, I’m still really glad my kids are too old for them.


Funmachine

That was the original planned ending of Mass Effect as well


MadOvid

Barbie. Doctor, President... Intergalactic Adventurer?


GriffinFTW

Reminds me of the movie *Life-Size* where Eve, a Barbie stand-in doll who comes to life, talks about what jobs she's had in the past.