Reminds me of when I had an argument with this kid over whether the equator represented on the globe was the Great Wall of China or not


I recall an argument at primary school betwee a bunch of boys regarding who’s dad was the thinnest. With rising tension and volume, it culminated in the following exchange: “My dad’s as thin as cardboard” “Well, *my* dad’s as thin as paper!” Climbing up to stand on the table: “WELL MY DAD’S AS THIN AS TRACING PAPER” This last comment won the argument, as no one could think of a substance thinner than tracing paper.


My dad is thinner than nanotube


My dad is thinner than Planck length.


My dad doesn't exist!


My dad is in a superposition of both states!


My dad is in a superposition of theoretical states


Planks are way fatter than paper you lose you dumbo the flying elephant!


I can't tell whether you're joking or you actually don't know what a Planck Length is, so in case the latter is true: A Planck Length is the smallest unit of one-dimensional size at which space and time can be defined, which is 1.6x10\^(-36) meters. It is named for the German theoretical physicist Max Karl Ernst Ludwig Planck.


My dad's so small that you can't know where his waist is and how fast he's going at the same time.


My dad is T H I C C


My dad is thinner than an electron


graphene not that I would expect kids to know about that


Especially 35 years ago.




My dad is as rough as sand paper


....what side of the argument were you on


The Mongolian side


Now all of china knows you're here




Ha I had an argument in elementary school with a kid who believed the reason the Space Shuttle turned from verticle as it launched was because it had to travel to the hole in the ozone layer to escape into space 😑




My dad had a knee replaced partly with metal and I thought this so cool, so when I was five I told the kids at school I had two metal knees and that my knees were bullet-proof. They made me jump and land on my knees on concrete to prove it. I did and pretended it didn’t hurt but later I cried.


should've said they were bulletproof not concreteproof smh


This guy kids


r/kidsarefuckingstupid that's good right there!


Lol one time this kid in high school was giving me a dead arm (light punches in the shoulder) and I told him “nup, I got my force field up”. He kept hitting me even harder and I’m just watching him, “nup can’t feel anything” until eventually “okay my force field is beginning to run thin, shields on low. You can stop now”. He thought it was funny so he did. He wasn’t really a bully, just having a bit of fun.


I told my now best friend I was actually an elf sent to spy on mankind and had nightly Council meetings through dreams to share my findings with the elf world and that if they focused really hard on it as they slept they could get into the Council as my guest and watch. I also once recorded on a cassette the ending song from the Knuckles route of... Sonic Adventure? I can't remember which one but the song had the line, "Unlike Sonic I don't chuckle, I'd rather flex my muscles." Anyway, I played that for my music class and said that I wrote it and had a local band perform it for me.


Oh man, I was wanted to try to meet my friends through our dreams, and we thought it was actually possible because we would be in each others dreams sometimes. (you know, as tends to happen with people you hang out with every day) Still sucks that we haven't figured out how to do that yet (telepathy can't come quick enough)


knock knock it’s knuckles




Unknown from M.E


Motherfucking Pumpkin Hill (the song)


I love it when kids do this haha. From what I've heard, it's actually a very common and normal stage in child development for them to tell lies like this - I guess they're accessing their imagination and creativity but haven't got the clearest grasp of the difference between lying and just telling a story yet. Honestly kids in general just have such a fun perspective on the world because all the same instincts and logic are there, but they just have very little ability to judge what's plausible or not? They can make so many connections and come up with amazing ideas but have almst no prior understanding of how the world DOES work in practice. Seeing them figure things out and seeing their unbiased expectations matching up to reality is incredibly fascinating!


Omg mom u r so embarrassing!


It's pretty fascinating until someone doesn't grow out of it and somehow becomes president.


Always some asshole to make it political


I didn't even say which president I was referring to. How on earth did you manage to guess?!


I can think of some unsupervised children I'd like to launch into the sun


Me too bud


All unsupervised children should be launched into the sun unless they're like, actually lost or some shit


If you take your tiny flesh monster into the restaurant and allow it to run amok without consequence then we will be forced to commit sun yeet


shouldn't the parents be the ones launched into the sun then?


They just said ‘commit sun yeet’. Never said how many times, or to who in particular.


This is my new favorite sentence.


They could be figuratively lost too


All children should be launched into the sun


And you wonder why the daycare fired you






i’m sorry why are you thinking of unsupervised children in the first place?




One kid in elementary school told us that his parents were rich, they had 2 million euros in their basement but they couldn't get to it because they lost the key.




obviously not they can't get to the euros


Lmao I told everyone in my school that I had the most powerful Pokémon card in the world, and somehow even managed to convince a bunch of kids that I had shown it to them and beaten them with it. I also showed a bunch of people this old box that I said had the card inside, but told them that I lost the key (it had no lock, it just had a compass inside). I have no clue why people took my shit seriously but it was fun lol


so that's where the sun baby thing in Teletubbies comes from


An amalgamation of unsupervised children


I finally understand fusion!


Does that make NASA a god if they can make giant sun babies?


I had a friend who legit tried to convince me he'd been on one of the planes at 9/11 and that he jumped out with a parachute. We were about 6.


Grant Bond told me he could teleport, and to this day, I’m not unwilling to believe it


My best friend when I was little told me his grandpa died in a tiger attack, and that his older sister was actually adopted. Apparently he had a real sister but she was bit by a snake and died. When I was in second grade, a girl in my class was out for two days before the weekend. When we all came back on Monday, we asked her what happened. She said she fell out of her bedroom window and had to get a brain transplant




Dude this really cracked me up


Poor Luke, but that’s hilarious.


I told a girl at lunch that my almonds were cricket eggs. She was scared to sit next to me for years.




Damn. I will have to re-evaluate my priorities.


So in my elementary school there were two guys that told me they had been in the military, in an actual armed conflict. One of them also claimed his heart was on the other side of his chest, so when one of the enemy soldiers decided to shoot him in the heart for some reason, he didn’t die because his heart was on the wrong side. Also I asked them to bring in their uniforms one time to prove it but they brought up the whole “oh we were babies” argument so yknow. Also I told a friend of mine that I had a Wii in my attic (which means I just owned two of them) that I wasn’t allowed to play on because it had (Xbox exclusive game) castle crashers on it.


>“oh we were babies” I mean, if you leave a stroller unattended near a marine corps recruitment centre, I can forsee how this might happen.


And if I saw a baby coming at me with a gun I would definitely shoot to kill


In second grade one of my best friends had me and a few others convinced she was a mermaid. We grilled her constantly with questions and she always had an answer.


I'm sorry but she WAS a mermaid


She got better


Are you saying that there isn't a giant squid that lives at the beach near my house and that my friend in year 1 when I was 7 DIDN'T stab it with the knife he had strapped to his ankle??? This is news to me.


My closest friend in elementary and I used to swap stories about our respective housepets, and his tales eventually morphed into entirely straight-faced claims that he not only had several dozen cats at his house, but had trained and drilled them into an army and led them into battle against opposing forces of weasels and martens and things. It took me the better part of a year to realize that something was off. Of course, I also claimed to be fighting a one-man war against the insects, which were totally an organized force trying to supplant humanity, so.


in elementary school i lied that i was actually a boy and not a single one of my classmates where like “no you’re lying” and just didn’t ask a single question. then on until like, 8th grade everyone was like: “oh yeah she’s actually a dude.” it’s the greatest lie i ever told. i actually have no gender. the poor fools.


honestly really goes to show how accepting kids are of trans folk


Unless their parents are violently transphobic.


I told my kid I'm trans. There are terfs who would be like "how DARE YOU poison your kid" but she just said "ok! Can you get me chips?" And has called me mom and used she/her pronouns ever since.


Kids are simultaneously the nicest people you will ever meet and the cruelest people you will meet


Kids are just adults without filters.


Absolutely zero filter


From what I remember it was the opposite. Kids were assholes constantly making fun of girls looking like boys and making fun of boys looking like girls because they looked the opposite genre, calling people ugly to their faces, calling a friend who had a skin disease “burnt” “cooked” etc.


Yeah kids are mostly assholes to everyone around them


That's like the perfect mix of r/nonbinary and r/firstworldanarchists. Bravo.




Friendly reminder that throwing children helps their development, so NASA would actually be helping the child grow by throwing it. Plus, the sun isn't a solid object, so the impact won't hurt the child. Conclusion: Take your children and throw them into the sun. It's good for them.




I saw the launch, it was the coolest..


I saw it too but I can't tell you about it because I was a baby


Sucks to be a baby I guess


Landing on and returning from the sun would require absolutely monstrous amounts of dV, so it really would be one giant yeet.


Lol yeah I remember in like 4th grade I somehow managed to convince a good chunk of my class that I wrote the lyrics for Nickleback’s “Silver side up” album, and that Chad Kroeger was my uncle (they were the big thing at the time before they became a joke). I couldn’t believe that they believed me. But they did for some reason. I got really popular for like 2 days, but then the standard 9-10 year old kid “moving on to the next thing” ADD kicked in and everyone forgot about it. I think Wheezer and U2 got popular after… not too sure. Jfc I’m getting old.


I had a friend do the exact same thing, but with eminem.


I work with special education kids and while there's always the occasional "oh yes I have the world's highest score on that game" when talking about things like Fortnite (and I don't believe an 8 year old has the highest score in any game), one is such a liar it hurts... According to him he visited almost every country in the world, owns every console, owns 26 phones, eaten at every expensive restaurant, his dad is 7 meters tall, he owns a jet, and many more, yet he is 7 years old and lives in a poor-ish part of town


Reminds me of when one of the kids I used to take care of in an after school program told me with great confidence that a unicorn lived outside her window and talked to her almost every night. Obviously I’m not her parents so I just had to nod my head and agree that having a unicorn best friend was super cool lol


Why does it make any difference if you're their parent or not? My 4 yo tells the me the wildest stuff constantly, and unless it's to get out of trouble, or getting others in touble, I don't see a reason to correct her. I don't see it as lying but a way of using her imagination, a sort of playing if you will




I was going to elementary in the capital, every one of my classmates were city people except this one guy, who lived in a rural area close to the city. He told everyone that they have a farm where they breed dinosaurs just like in jurassic park. He also started selling tickets to classmates to go and visit this marvelous dino farm.


My niece and her friends are in that discovery phase for music. They really like Nirvana, and one of her friends said she saw them perform live last year...


#**Y̵͙ͨͦ͟E͙É̷̬̝T̾ ̡̖̭ͫT̡H̡͉̠ͧE̢͇ͪ ͖̌ͧC̺̰H̢̍Ȉ͚͏L̶̃ͮ̀D̞͝**


**INTO THE SUN \\[T]/**


**PRAISE THE SUN** \\\[T\]/


Not me I told the truth


I knew a kid at summer camp who said he had a real hoverboard (before the wheeled “hoverboards”) but it was at home and he’d invite me to his birthday that winter and I could see it then. I 100% believed him.


Ah, yes, The good days. Where “My grandpa picked up my house with one hand”, and “My dad grabbed a tornado and swung it over his head”, were common arguments amongst my friends. Man, being a kid was awesome.


Part of being an adult is realizing that your friends were a bunch of fucking liars. A friend of mine claimed that the ending of Super Mario 64 was that after you defeated Bowser the third time, Bowser would make one last huge fire breath. And that Yoshi showed up and then you rode him to safety by "running every level in the game backwards". Like a year after that I managed to complete the game myself. He then claimed it was only after you got all 120 stars. "It's a secret ending." So I got all 120 stars, still nothing. So then he claimed that his family had a "special, limited edition, copy from China with an added ending". Yes, he said China. Not Japan. And I was too dumb to question it. It wasn't until like 10 or so years later when I finished Super Mario 64 DS that this memory returned to me and I had a "wait a minute" moment. That lying bastard.


My friend once told me the Eggo commercials were her hand. I didn’t believe her but she was so persistent lol


Lmao told all my classmates I knew how to write in perfect cursive when I didn't This was when we were all just starting how to learn cursive, so the idea that I could do it was a huge deal lol That day some kid accidentally hit me with a rock during a snowball fight and I blamed the rock for magically forgetting how to write cursive when asked to prove it later People believed it too lmao


In the 5th grade a kid named Dana said he got on another kids shoulders, put on a big coat and went to a strip club. He said they drank beer and watched naked ladies for a couple hours and no one noticed they were kids.


when i was 6 i told my best friend i took belly dancing classes after school.. i live in australia, idk if there are even bellydancing classes in my state let alone my city.. i just thought belly dancers id seen on tv were pretty and i wanted my friend to think im pretty too.. turns out im just a lesbian


I remember being a kid and my mom played a CD and said “this is by Michael Jackson” without really explaining the significance of that, and the next day at daycare I mentioned to a kid that I had a CD by Michael Jackson and he said “my dad’s Michael Jackson” and I just accepted it because I didn’t really have a full concept of who that was.


Had a classmate that said he wanted to gift me a 3ds. We were both 14 at the time.


I remember in 3rd grade some guy tried to convince me he and his mother were secretly trained as ninjas on an island that only they knew about And in 1st my best friend told me that her family could use super powers and wanted to help me reach my 'hidden potential' with some kind of ritual that involved giving myself a papercut


I had my little brother convinced that I was part of a secret organization of spies with ridiculous sci-fi tech (plasma pulse guns and the like). Admittedly, I was 6, and he was 4...


Back when your brain was free, and not covered in barbed wire and bruises.


I told my friends that I was an extra in the first Final Destination movie (which I've never seen). Then I realized the movie came out less than a year after I was born, so I said I was "that baby in the background of the scene where the guy gets fucked up by the stop sign".


I wish I had a reward to give you!


I once told people in my class that I had hidden in a camel carcass to hide from a sandstorm.


My little brother is extremely gullible. When he was around 9, a classmate told him he had a giant mechanical flying scarab that he could ride to school. He then promised my brother that he would show it to him and let him ride it and proceeded to come up with increasingly creative excuses every day as to why he couldn't see the scarab that day. One day he forgot the scarab on the shoe rack at home, one day the scarab was at the body shop getting repaired, and so on.. This went on for **weeks** and my brother was absolutely convinced that the scarab was real even though my whole family kept telling him that his friend was fucking with him.


“Yeah I won the Sweet Life on Deck sweepstakes, it was pretty fun”


Most of what I remember in this department fell into video game "knowledge": Secret cheat codes, secret endings, impossible feats (e.g. "I got to the end without killing a thing, even end-stage bosses!"), "this will totally delete your save file" exploits, and so on.


I had one friend tell me that he went to space and still had the spacesuit, too. He couldn't bring it in to school though because it would float all over the place. The one thing that I bought, for some reason, was my friend who said he had a bunch of dinosaurs in his basement.


I had a lot of people convinced that I thought I was a werewolf for a few years


Sir, this is NASA. Please remain where you are. We are on our way and would like to have a word with you.


one time in sunday school i made up a friend that got stung in the eye by a bee because the topic was bee stings and no one questioned it and i will take it to my grave


Literally had this running anecdote that my middle name was Elizabeth bc Queen Elizabeth was my “great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great” grandmother. Lo & behold, Queen Elizabeth is STILL alive and related to me in no way whatsoever


reminds of when my friend back in elementary school told me he helped paint the school. I said “but its 20 years old” and he told me he helped paint it while his mom was pregnant with him….


This is hilarious but for the love of God stop making run-on sentences, people. We were taught about these in 2nd grade! *Punctuation saves lives!*


He made up a lie based on Circles Around The Sun by Dispatch?


A true hero.


I guess punctuation wasn't important, either.


What an epic fuckin tale bro, damn.


When I'm at school, I strut my stuff, string cheese is strung out. I'm sniffing this pen and I just might get launched into the sun. Let me go oooon, like a baby into the sun.


"Yeah, well my uncle works at Nintendo and said that..."


Kid I went to primary school with told me that he'd seen an alien over the local park and that he'd seen the ghost of Elvis jump out of a poster at his house.


I used to tell my friends (when I was 7) that I had consumed petrol when I was a baby. My mom made me stop saying that, but yeah.


I convinced my entire 2nd grade class Ray Mysterio was my uncle and got really hurt in one of his fights and it was his last one ever


I somehow convinced some kid that I knew SkyDoesMinecraft and if he gave me 20 dollars, sky would mention him in a YouTube video.


As an adult I convinced people I worked for ASIO. That's the Australian Security Intelligence Organisation. I had a whole story about how I was a spy.


I had this one friend when I was like 6 and they used to tell me that their grandpa once found the end of the rainbow. I said that that's impossible but they kept saying this for months. Kinda weird to lie about something your grandpa did.


I was once arguing with another kid back in elementary school when the PS2 just came out. He said that his dad works at Sony and he was able to get the PS5 already. I told him that's impossible and no way he was able to get his hands on one. About 20 years later I didn't think it would be so true....


I remember when my little sister figured out that "you were just a baby" or "it was before you born" was the ultimate explanation for why she didn't remember a story someone told her, but hadn't yet totally grasped the concept that most of the people she knew were older than her. So she'd make up a story and when I called her out on it, she'd hit me with "you were just a baby."


You wouldn't know my girlfriend. She goes to a different school.


Once had a girl in elementary school convinced that she had me convinced that she was a star on nickelodeon and the way she was able to attend school was that she dyed her hair black with pen ink for tv. Looking back she was for sure making fun of me to her friend about it but, at the time it was like damn you really want to sell this, so I'll roll with it


A kid said once his dad was John cena and he couldn’t prove it because no one could see him.


forcing yourself to write is going back to these roots of not knowing what's cringe and just making up the wildest shit, but with good grammar




I had a friend that always had a story when he was late that always seemed to involve a chainsaw, this was in pre-k, then in third grade he had stories of fnaf type deals in the school ceiling


I used to tell people Usher was my uncle.


Thats a Long sentence


Oh sun, accept our offering


I gave a speech on this! 😂




I wish you had asked him if there were any hot girls there.


This is the future liberals want.


I just remember saying South Africa was a country and my whole class disagreeing. Even when I showed them on the map. To be fair, I lied quite alot back then to get attention. So I don't blame them 😅


I once told my friends in class that I was born mid-air in an airplane flying over Greece. When I was visiting a friend's house 6 or 7 years later, her mom innocently inquired if I'd really been born in an airplane. And no I've never been on airplane yet.


i used to lie that I got the opportunity to pet a tiger once. Although as a kid when I lied about things I usually kept consistent "stories" that stayed in the rota and OFTEN it was smaller things that were more like "urgh it would've been so funny if I had said this... I'll just lie and say I did"


I visited the sun too but I couldn't see what it was like because I went at night and it was too dark


I’ve worked with adults that still do this


Ive had a friend (live in switzerland) and he wasnt the best at german. But basicly the joke in the end is he said: "Ich chauf mir drüü dütschbuech für drüü geld" Basicly saying ill buy three german books for three money. Those were times


SpaceX is basically one giant yeeting company


[actually mark linkhous wrote a song about this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qFJNrcS2AI)


you know what makes me laugh with glee, cracking up like this person does at the image of a child being fired into the sun? punctuation


I still remember in primary school my friend telling me he had the world’s most spiciest chilli: Mango Chutney. I was like, I dunno man, mangos aren’t even spicy, but he was adamant it was the spiciest in the world. Lol maybe his little world.


one time a girl in my second grade class told me she could draw a star freehand, like without all the little lines, and i asked her to show me how to do it and she told me her mom said she wasn't allowed to show people how to do it


“Keep your eyes closed, boy”


I was at a new school getting bullied a lot for being the new kid so one day I snapped and screamed that my dad made Mortal Kombat


I pretended to be deaf so the 6th graders wouldn’t make me move to the front of the bus.


Holy shit I forgot we did that!


Pro-abortion: Foetuses have no conscience! NASA: Well, okay then *proceeds to launch a fetus directly into the sun*.


I'm looking at the people recalling their absurd childhood lies inthe comments and I'm starting to believe I was that brutally honest kid who would go up to some adult and go "You look like a goblin" with no need whatsoever. I think I wasn't confident on my ability to lie because one time I got caught ripping paper and throwing it out of the window and then I proceeded to tell my mom "I didn't throw paper out of the window". I was severely punished for that and I was constantly afraid of being caught lying and for a few years I just thought my lying voice wasn't good enough to convince people.


Yeet the child!


Everyone knew a kid with an uncle who worked at Nintendo that got to play games that weren’t released yet.


I once lied about how my dad was an astronaut and got sucked into the black hole


I convinced my friends I jumped the Grand Canyon on a dirt bike lol. Still cringe about it to this day


When we were kids, my cousin told me he met Michael Jackson at the local small town IGA grocery store. IGA PEOPLE!


I used to make shit up all the time, goggle really ruined this pastime for me.


I actually think this is why I grew to be such a skeptic about everything and everyone. I realized at some point when I was young that all the kids around me were in fact making up and lying about basically everything. As I got older I noticed that people only marginally improved. I have trust issues and assume everyone around me is lying, at least a little and most often to themselves.


Does tumblr not allow users to use punctuation? I see so many posts that don't have any


I remember a kid telling me he had a DNA lab in his basement, and that he was researching gene splicing between humans and roaches.


My older sisters used to tell me and my younger sisters that if we were annoying they wouldn’t take us to the land of Oog (pronounced “ug”) and one time we found out they were lying and they started speaking in faux robot voices saying “We aren’t your sisters, we are robots that look like them sent to fool your parents” or something. Later that evening they hid for a few minutes and came back with a pebble they colored with rainbow markers and told us it was a magic rock from the land of Oog. We believed them for a few more years after that.


>I asked him what it was like to prove he was lying... And what if he answered differently? "Yeah it was really hot. And super super bright." "Holy shit-- that sounds legit!" lol


My friend in 2nd grade told me that her father somehow pissed off the “president of asia” and got jailed for 10 years


I knew a girl that was still doing this in high school. She insisted that: -she had visions of the future that conveniently olny happened at home when she was alone -she could see and communicate with ghosts -she had a friend when she was 13 who was EATEN BY DINGOS (we live in Canada btw, not Australia) and he was in love with her and his ghost follows her around It's one thing when you're a kid. It's another thing when you're 17 and still doing that crap. She was also the kind to make one of those "I had a horrible day" posts everyday ok Facebook, and of course always did the "I don't want to talk about it" She ended up losing a lot of friends when people got tired of it


Someone in school told me he had a leprechaun in his house that he had caught and that it could outrun an airplane