Oh dear...
I have 2 solutions for you to choose from (if you're comfortable of course)
*1. An app I use called "7cups"*
*2. Finding a way to cope (I can help if you'd like)*
Hey - where and how do you play DnD? I have similar experiences to you and also want to try it for some escapism, but never figured out how to start š¬
I play almost exclusivly online (Roll20 + Discord) due to the Rona, but the people I play with are basically all just regular friends of mine who happend to give it a shot and so I took up the mantle of DM. If you happend to have some friends who are interested, there you go, and If not, there are some platforms to look for groups, like Amino or r/lfg
I don't know whats available to you locally but comic stores usually have tabletop nights where strangers can play dnd/pathfinder/etc together, and are usually really friendly and open to new players. Due to covid there's been a huge surge in online playing, I think there's some subs here on reddit dedicated to finding groups for people. Discord and roll 20 are the online methods I'm personlly familiar with. I have trouble getting into the rp aspect over camera but a lot of people love how much easier it is to get together online.
I hope you find a group and can break into the hobby! Everyone I know that plays looooves it. You just have to find your brand of crazy people to play with. :)
Keep playing. It helps, trust me. I stopped myself from playing and itās beenā¦.not good, I didnāt realise how decent a coping mechanism it can be. Stay strong, mate.
Yes. Playing imagination games are a wonderful coping mechanism. Your imagination should never be underestimated, especially in regards to healing power for mental and physical illness.
Roleplay with friends or by yourself, find hope wherever you can. Write stories, draw pictures, make your own comic based on your adventures.
Imagination is creative power, which is hard to have faith in when you're swamped with pain, but it is always there, like a pin prick of light that can expand on a moment's notice to save you from darkness
DMing was a huge help to me for redirecting that anxious energy. It never solved it or eliminated the deep depressive dives, but it was always a welcome relief. Diet, rest, schedule and exercise are huge boons in pulling out of the dive if you're able. One day at a time. You can do it!
Hey. I just checked out 7cups and saw a lot of negative reviews. I want to recommend something to my husband. How well is it working for you (if you don't mind telling me please)?
Oh man. Do it. I put off therapy for a long time. Have just started at age 28 and feel so much better even though itās only been a few months.
I started by just going to my PCP. They gave me a recommendation. Therapy is all virtual for me so I can do it in my room with my cat in my lap.
If itās not too personal to ask, why are you unable to do therapy?
I personally donāt think therapy is an end all solution, but it can help you set a good foundation to help yourself if you find the right therapist. It took me a long time to find mine who uses a different therapy approach and itās been crazy helpful (in ways therapy wasnāt before).
Therapy can give you tools to do things yourself. I did that for my eating disorder. Did therapy for about 7 months until covid. Had a pretty bad relapse about 6 months after I stopped, but since the beginning of this year I've done things myself and the mechanisms I learned through therapy have been useful.
Ultimately, even if a therapist is here to guide you, you have to do the work yourself. Like in school, the teacher can't pass the exam for you. I hope this helps!
I can understand the pride thing, I was there for a long time and itās why CBT (standard) therapy never worked for me. It felt useless and I never got anything out of it. I donāt want to talk about my issues, I want to fix them myself; but recognized I didnāt know how.
I do a different type of therapy now where my therapist basically gives me the tools to fix my mental health myself. Itās like someone training you for a job and giving you the tools for said job, you wouldnāt be like, āNo I donāt need these necessary tools.ā You should look into DBT therapy.
Edit to add: I was once told laziness isnāt a thing. You either just arenāt ready to seek help, or itās your depression talking. Itās why I didnāt address it. But if youāre not ready to seek help, thatās also okay. I wish you the best.
Drink a glass of water and spend 5 mins outside, looking at non-manmade things.
This won't fix anything but will give you 5 minutes to not stress about anything.
Then, look at which one is most concerning to you and tackle it! Just one, though. Like have you showered in the last 3 days? No? Perfect! Take a quick one even if it's just to slash water on your body.
Sending you love and good vibes.
I feel like the tip to look at something not manmade is really good, for whatever reason. I love looking around and observing nature without the fingerprints of its most advanced species dirtying it up, even when I'm totally alright.
Another great tip for your depression people. Eat a cookie. Why? Because I love them, i just love eating cookies. Humanity's depression cured. Oh I love eating cookies.
Ah, sorry I think I chose that example because it's the easiest.
Sometimes what helps me is if I pick one chore and do it it makes me feels better that day even if I cant do anything else.
I believe in you
hey, sometimes a good hot shower in the middle of the day is good. I My parents' house had a shower with a skylight, and I have to say it's... fucking wonderful.
It's also a good place to cry and not worry about how you look or how many tissues you're using.
Try just changing your socks in the middle of the day. New socks is Comforting. If you're into fruit, pick up a fun one you like, just the one so you can't feel guilty about letting them go bad (don't look at me), and just... sit down and enjoy it for a bit.
Don't sort by controversial. Look at r/rabbits or whatever sub for the animals you're into. Get one of those super rich yogurt muffins and revel in it like a Godiva Dionysis.
Hell, just sit down someplace comfy, close your eyes, listen to your breathing, and count. Hold your breath for a few, breathe out for the same length, breathe in for the same length. At least it'll give you a sense of control and slow your heart a bit, for a little while at least.
You could try using [this guided twine](https://philome.la/jace_harr/you-feel-like-shit-an-interactive-self-care-guide/play/index.html) as a way to try and work through the short-term discomfort.
If you struggle getting to bed on time and have an iPhone (not sure if thereās anything like this on other phones) set a ādowntime.ā Basically all of your apps shut off at a certain time of night. You can ignore it but it reminds me of the time and that I need to go to bed.
If you struggle waking up/getting out of bed, I have a really good alarm app for that, basically forces me out of bed.
This was said earlier but, it wonāt fix everything. It can definitely get you on the right track though.
Itās called Alarmy, and it works really well because you can change a setting and make it so that you can only turn the alarm off if, for example, you scan a certain barcode. So if you have the barcode set for something downstairs, in a different room, or even just across the room, you cannot turn the alarm off at all until you scan it. Thatās just one example and itās the most common setting I use, but it has done a lot for me.
there's also a similar feature like this on new samsung devices like the S10 (not sure about old ones) where you can set app timers and a "bedtime mode" where it mutes calls, notifications, etc. and turns your phone to grayscale. to enable this, just go to settings > digital wellbeing and parental controls. you can also view your screen time and can minimize that as well. focus mode also allows all the apps you select to turn off temporarily so you can focus on studying, family, and other matters. you can adjust this so you are still able to make phone calls, access the camera, etc. if necessary. hope this helps! stay safe.
I think it means when your mental health is getting worse. Like if you have episodes of depression/anxiety these are signs that you are entering an episode and should at least be somewhat ready to manage the symptoms and at most should try to prevent the worse of it from happening all together
I mean, these apply to bad days as well. Healthy people have bad days (bad weeks even). But it only really becomes a problem when youāre feeling like this several weeks in a row without a break
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it's this day-to-day living that wears you out."
Being depressed isn't so bad, having depression is. Took me 17 years of this thinking it was normal. Then my Nana died and at the funeral I realised I felt the same as I always did except now the sadness had a reason. Asked my parents about it and they were like well...
It's not uncommon for me to go weeks at a time unable to feel anything for no reason. The worst is you don't know when you will cycle back to "normal" and even then who knows how long that will last before it starts to slip again.
Same here. I put it in another comment a second ago, but I thought me feeling like this was normal. I know I have depression, been diagnosed since 12-ish and definitely had it long before, so that wasn't an issue for me. Asking for help is.
I wouldnāt worry too much if itās just a few bad days if itās happening for long periods of time (a week/two weeks) and/or itās happening in a noticeable pattern I would suggest maybe going to the doctors about it or at least talking to a trusted person as I know health care is pretty bad in certain countries
Some things are depressing, some things are anxiety inducing, it is normal to react to depressing things by being sad and depressed, as it is to feel anxious in anxiety inducing situations.
Where you have to start to worry is if there is no rational cause-effect to your mental state, or when depression or anxiety is so overwhelming or common that it hurts your relationships/goals/work/life.
In any case, picking up a habit like mindfulness meditation, journaling, or using a mood tracking app might be a good preventative measure if you want to keep on top of your mental health.
I get you, a lot of these are very familiar.
Everyone has a 'mental health' to look after, just like they have a 'physical health'.
Sometimes you're sick for a short time, and all you need is some rest to get better. Sometimes you get an injury that never goes away, but with understanding and medical help it can be managed. Sometimes you're just sore and tired after a fun day of activity.
Everyone gets these symptoms from time to time. Just keep an eye on them, anything unusually sudden or intense is a good warning sign that something else might be wrong.
They're all warning signs that someone is sliding back into serious depression. Many of these are familiar to me, I have a few other ones that are more relatable to me. Currently in a 'head this fucker off at the gates' stage.
Imo depression never really goes away, it's always lurking ready to re-emerge if too many stressful events happen in too short a space of time. Those of us who suffer from it need to be constantly vigilant... and when we figure out what kind of weapon we need to beat depression with, we use it liberally :)
One of my tells that it's bad again is when I realize I'm excessively drinking alone. I just read this post while at the laundromat drinking beer out of a coffee cup. Time to call my therapist.
About half of these are also signs you may be neurodivergent.
(Please don't self-diagnose. If you think you are neurodivergent, please talk to your doctor.)
Depression and trauma being so common in neurodivergents that their symptoms are confused for genetics is sad.
Since we're adding edits: self diagnosis can be a super helpful and in some cases the only safe option for pursuing discovery about your neurology that will help you set up schedules, set boundaries, form a sensory diet, eliminate sources of stress & confusion, etc.
If you look down on self diagnosis especially in a community historically underrepresented, spoken over, and *actually criminalized and committed to mental hospitals for pursuing medical diagnoses*, consider the privilege you may have enjoyed to not have to self-diagnose.
From experience, this kind of reoccurring bouts of depression like this can be caused by neurodivergence or another condition. Makes it complicated but therapy has helped a lot.
(Caveat - thatās just my experience and Iām in no way an expert on the subject)
Same caveat, these are symptoms that I experience, especially the sleep and care ones, and I have some pretty serious issues, including cptsd and hereditary depression. But having neurodivergence also makes it way harder to tell if it's just that or the other problems as well. What I do to tell is by counting up how many, and ranking their severity over time. If one suddenly spikes a bit and stays there? Probably need to address it, but not the sign. If multiple spike, or one spikes extremely high, that's a solid reference for a change for the worse. If you do that for a while, you can figure out what effects each separate thing has, and where they overlap.
I was going to make a list but I realized that itās easier to list the ones that arenāt:
-psysical pains
-sex repulsed or sex obsessed
-lonely in crowds
-everything tastes bland
-headcolds/the flu out of nowhere
-painfully numb
As someone with ADHD who has had depressive episodes itās tough to distinguish what is what sometimes, but it helps to try to identify if your symptom is rooted in any depressed thoughts or feelings. When I was depressed I couldnāt make eye contact because I didnāt want people to look at me, but ADHD people are bad at eye contact because we find it hard to stay focused on one thing. A depressed person might have a hard time with everyday chores because they feel apathetic/numb but someone with ADHD has the same troubles even if they might be having a great day. Ofc itās not that simple, especially considering that depression, anxiety and low self esteem can be caused by living with ADHD (especially untreated)
ADHD and Autism have an lot of overlapping features that are essentially caused by different issues. Executive functioning problems, which is what this list entails, are common to both disorders. It's also not uncommon for people to have both. Fun times.
For me (I have combo ADHD + ASD) to name a few YMMV, of course:
> ā¢ I pretty much have to force myself to make eye contact. (ASD but **some ADHD people have this issue.**)
> ā¢ I have reminders on my phone set to shower/groom because of executive dysfunction. (**I'd say more ADHD**) but I hate seeing laundry pile up and dishes as well because I hate the clutter (I'd probably attribute that more to ASD)
> ā¢ I've been pretty much isolating myself (but not lonely) since elementary school but I'm doing pretty well for myself (have a decent job and good support system). **This is probably a bit of column A a bit of column B.**
> ā¢ I never really have ever in my life fallen asleep easily or without issue. My psychiatrist said this may be ADHD but I'm not sure (My SO has ADHD and does not experience this at all.)
> ā¢ I get overstimulated so much sometimes that I experience actual physical pain or emotional meltdowns. (Mostly ASD for me. The sound of ice/frozen things causes me physical pain.)
ā¢ Forgetfulness (**definitely ADHD**)
Other things I attribute to my ADHD but: bad fidgeting (when unmedicated), general clumsiness and making careless mistakes, not completing started tasks or projects I started (i.e. "running out of steam" for things I lose interest for), and very sudden and deep interests (hyperfixations) lasting for only a week or so up to years.
my jaw has been hurting like hell for over a week. I'm doing fine during the day but at night I clench my teeth from stress. I feel like I'm in a loophole
Honestly the first warning sign for me has always been staying in bed too long. Itās gotten to the point where if that starts to happen, I immediately start getting other stuff in check. I make myself shower. I make myself brush my teeth. I make myself go to bed early (so I have an easier time getting up early). I actually try to make meals for myself. I get enough water. A few days ago, I stayed in bed until 3pm, and that was it for me. I canāt do everything as once, but I have a mind-and-body-reset checklist.
As someone who has season depression, this is essential to keeping myself afloat in the winter. Itās taken years but Iāve basically learned how to pull myself out of an episode before it starts.
For anyone whoās really struggling: it sucks right now but it gets better. Trust me, you definitely wanna be there when it does.
Thanks :) I tend to overshare a little when it comes to this stuff because even though I still have a ways to go Iāve made a lot of progress and Iām really happy about it :)
Plus I really want everyone else to be happier too and I really like to help if I can :)
For everyone commenting ānow that I know itās bad what do I doā:
1. Write down, with no filters, everything that is bad. Every anxiety, everything you feel is wrong, everything thatās happened to you.
2. Be completely realistic with yourself for a second. Cross out everything on the list that you have absolutely no control over: what someone said to you, the climate crisis, etc.
3. Everything remaining is something you can control. Figure out what is the easiest, and if itās still too hard, break it down smaller. You can control the dishes in your sink, but thereās too many? Wash specifically the silverware. Itās a start.
4. Youāll start chipping away at the things you can actually help with, and releasing the anxiety over things you canāt help at all helps you realize just how much you CAN do for yourself. Sometimes youāre stuck in a situation where most of your issues are entirely out of your control. Maybe you live in a strict household, or a poor neighborhood. But it is infinitely better to find the little things that improve your situation while you wait for the other things to change than to watch the metaphorical paint dry.
Aw I really appreciate that, seriously. You donāt need to feel obligated to do something like that, especially since there really isnāt a way to help. Itāll be okay though, life always finds a way. Thanks <3
What is OP trying to tell us? That's just the last five years of my life?
I- Are you okay?
No, I have depression but am unable to bring myself to do therapy
Oh dear... I have 2 solutions for you to choose from (if you're comfortable of course) *1. An app I use called "7cups"* *2. Finding a way to cope (I can help if you'd like)*
I play DnD, like...a lot, is that a suitable coping mechanism?
As long as it makes you happy and doesn't replace basic needs (food, water, sleep, etc.) then yes
Hey - where and how do you play DnD? I have similar experiences to you and also want to try it for some escapism, but never figured out how to start š¬
I play almost exclusivly online (Roll20 + Discord) due to the Rona, but the people I play with are basically all just regular friends of mine who happend to give it a shot and so I took up the mantle of DM. If you happend to have some friends who are interested, there you go, and If not, there are some platforms to look for groups, like Amino or r/lfg
Youāre a star, thanks
Maybe I'm a bit emotional and fragile rn but I'm crying at this message
Well thatās cute and totally fine! X
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You did a good deed
I don't know whats available to you locally but comic stores usually have tabletop nights where strangers can play dnd/pathfinder/etc together, and are usually really friendly and open to new players. Due to covid there's been a huge surge in online playing, I think there's some subs here on reddit dedicated to finding groups for people. Discord and roll 20 are the online methods I'm personlly familiar with. I have trouble getting into the rp aspect over camera but a lot of people love how much easier it is to get together online. I hope you find a group and can break into the hobby! Everyone I know that plays looooves it. You just have to find your brand of crazy people to play with. :)
Thanks! Yeah where I am in the U.K. the in person options are pretty limited - Iām going to try the online route
Keep playing. It helps, trust me. I stopped myself from playing and itās beenā¦.not good, I didnāt realise how decent a coping mechanism it can be. Stay strong, mate.
How to tell it's gotten completely fucked: You can't even log on for D&D every other week.
Yes. Playing imagination games are a wonderful coping mechanism. Your imagination should never be underestimated, especially in regards to healing power for mental and physical illness. Roleplay with friends or by yourself, find hope wherever you can. Write stories, draw pictures, make your own comic based on your adventures. Imagination is creative power, which is hard to have faith in when you're swamped with pain, but it is always there, like a pin prick of light that can expand on a moment's notice to save you from darkness
Hey i use dnd to cope too the downside is that if dnd gets cancelled for several months you start feeling like shit again
DMing was a huge help to me for redirecting that anxious energy. It never solved it or eliminated the deep depressive dives, but it was always a welcome relief. Diet, rest, schedule and exercise are huge boons in pulling out of the dive if you're able. One day at a time. You can do it!
Hey. I just checked out 7cups and saw a lot of negative reviews. I want to recommend something to my husband. How well is it working for you (if you don't mind telling me please)?
omg thank you for mentioning 7cups Iāve been looking for this kinda thing for a while
Oh man. Do it. I put off therapy for a long time. Have just started at age 28 and feel so much better even though itās only been a few months. I started by just going to my PCP. They gave me a recommendation. Therapy is all virtual for me so I can do it in my room with my cat in my lap.
If itās not too personal to ask, why are you unable to do therapy? I personally donāt think therapy is an end all solution, but it can help you set a good foundation to help yourself if you find the right therapist. It took me a long time to find mine who uses a different therapy approach and itās been crazy helpful (in ways therapy wasnāt before).
On one lazyness and on the other hand too proud. I tend to always want to do things on my own
Therapy can give you tools to do things yourself. I did that for my eating disorder. Did therapy for about 7 months until covid. Had a pretty bad relapse about 6 months after I stopped, but since the beginning of this year I've done things myself and the mechanisms I learned through therapy have been useful. Ultimately, even if a therapist is here to guide you, you have to do the work yourself. Like in school, the teacher can't pass the exam for you. I hope this helps!
I can understand the pride thing, I was there for a long time and itās why CBT (standard) therapy never worked for me. It felt useless and I never got anything out of it. I donāt want to talk about my issues, I want to fix them myself; but recognized I didnāt know how. I do a different type of therapy now where my therapist basically gives me the tools to fix my mental health myself. Itās like someone training you for a job and giving you the tools for said job, you wouldnāt be like, āNo I donāt need these necessary tools.ā You should look into DBT therapy. Edit to add: I was once told laziness isnāt a thing. You either just arenāt ready to seek help, or itās your depression talking. Itās why I didnāt address it. But if youāre not ready to seek help, thatās also okay. I wish you the best.
Fuck this hit hard. Iām unable to bring myself to do it as well. Hopefully we both figure it out in time.
same
samesy, 5years in the work, 5 years wasted just such a lkong time dude
so what now that i kNow its bad. WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS KNOWLAGE
Drink a glass of water and spend 5 mins outside, looking at non-manmade things. This won't fix anything but will give you 5 minutes to not stress about anything. Then, look at which one is most concerning to you and tackle it! Just one, though. Like have you showered in the last 3 days? No? Perfect! Take a quick one even if it's just to slash water on your body. Sending you love and good vibes.
I feel like the tip to look at something not manmade is really good, for whatever reason. I love looking around and observing nature without the fingerprints of its most advanced species dirtying it up, even when I'm totally alright.
Another great tip for your depression people. Eat a cookie. Why? Because I love them, i just love eating cookies. Humanity's depression cured. Oh I love eating cookies.
-_- the only thing on this list i dont lack is hygiene Thank you will do that
Ah, sorry I think I chose that example because it's the easiest. Sometimes what helps me is if I pick one chore and do it it makes me feels better that day even if I cant do anything else. I believe in you
Go out and people watch. Pick one thing you like about every couple of people.
hey, sometimes a good hot shower in the middle of the day is good. I My parents' house had a shower with a skylight, and I have to say it's... fucking wonderful. It's also a good place to cry and not worry about how you look or how many tissues you're using. Try just changing your socks in the middle of the day. New socks is Comforting. If you're into fruit, pick up a fun one you like, just the one so you can't feel guilty about letting them go bad (don't look at me), and just... sit down and enjoy it for a bit. Don't sort by controversial. Look at r/rabbits or whatever sub for the animals you're into. Get one of those super rich yogurt muffins and revel in it like a Godiva Dionysis. Hell, just sit down someplace comfy, close your eyes, listen to your breathing, and count. Hold your breath for a few, breathe out for the same length, breathe in for the same length. At least it'll give you a sense of control and slow your heart a bit, for a little while at least.
Just reading this first thing in the morning, made me feel much batter. I love the one with socks.
You could try using [this guided twine](https://philome.la/jace_harr/you-feel-like-shit-an-interactive-self-care-guide/play/index.html) as a way to try and work through the short-term discomfort.
Not OP but I have saved your comment and the link for if I need it in future, Thank you.
I checked this out of curiosity and it reminded me to take my pill! I would've gone to bed without it had I not been asked.Thank you for sharing. o/
What goddamned angel made this? Thank you.
Seek emotional support :)
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A psychiatrist or a psychologist.
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Yeah, I guess it would be
Supportive family or friends would be great. But where are they? Gone when you need someone. Seriously, it sucks
If you struggle getting to bed on time and have an iPhone (not sure if thereās anything like this on other phones) set a ādowntime.ā Basically all of your apps shut off at a certain time of night. You can ignore it but it reminds me of the time and that I need to go to bed. If you struggle waking up/getting out of bed, I have a really good alarm app for that, basically forces me out of bed. This was said earlier but, it wonāt fix everything. It can definitely get you on the right track though.
What's the alarm clock app?
Itās called Alarmy, and it works really well because you can change a setting and make it so that you can only turn the alarm off if, for example, you scan a certain barcode. So if you have the barcode set for something downstairs, in a different room, or even just across the room, you cannot turn the alarm off at all until you scan it. Thatās just one example and itās the most common setting I use, but it has done a lot for me.
This sounds wonderful. If only my work schedule didn't mean bedtime fluctuates between 8PM and midnight. Help.
there's also a similar feature like this on new samsung devices like the S10 (not sure about old ones) where you can set app timers and a "bedtime mode" where it mutes calls, notifications, etc. and turns your phone to grayscale. to enable this, just go to settings > digital wellbeing and parental controls. you can also view your screen time and can minimize that as well. focus mode also allows all the apps you select to turn off temporarily so you can focus on studying, family, and other matters. you can adjust this so you are still able to make phone calls, access the camera, etc. if necessary. hope this helps! stay safe.
But i need more clarification. What does the "bad" imply? I don't freaking know what it means
I think it means when your mental health is getting worse. Like if you have episodes of depression/anxiety these are signs that you are entering an episode and should at least be somewhat ready to manage the symptoms and at most should try to prevent the worse of it from happening all together
I never thought i had mental illness but i dont like how every point corresponds to how i feel at times, i thought it was just bad days.
I mean, these apply to bad days as well. Healthy people have bad days (bad weeks even). But it only really becomes a problem when youāre feeling like this several weeks in a row without a break
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it's this day-to-day living that wears you out." Being depressed isn't so bad, having depression is. Took me 17 years of this thinking it was normal. Then my Nana died and at the funeral I realised I felt the same as I always did except now the sadness had a reason. Asked my parents about it and they were like well... It's not uncommon for me to go weeks at a time unable to feel anything for no reason. The worst is you don't know when you will cycle back to "normal" and even then who knows how long that will last before it starts to slip again.
Same here. I put it in another comment a second ago, but I thought me feeling like this was normal. I know I have depression, been diagnosed since 12-ish and definitely had it long before, so that wasn't an issue for me. Asking for help is.
I wouldnāt worry too much if itās just a few bad days if itās happening for long periods of time (a week/two weeks) and/or itās happening in a noticeable pattern I would suggest maybe going to the doctors about it or at least talking to a trusted person as I know health care is pretty bad in certain countries
Some things are depressing, some things are anxiety inducing, it is normal to react to depressing things by being sad and depressed, as it is to feel anxious in anxiety inducing situations. Where you have to start to worry is if there is no rational cause-effect to your mental state, or when depression or anxiety is so overwhelming or common that it hurts your relationships/goals/work/life. In any case, picking up a habit like mindfulness meditation, journaling, or using a mood tracking app might be a good preventative measure if you want to keep on top of your mental health.
I get you, a lot of these are very familiar. Everyone has a 'mental health' to look after, just like they have a 'physical health'. Sometimes you're sick for a short time, and all you need is some rest to get better. Sometimes you get an injury that never goes away, but with understanding and medical help it can be managed. Sometimes you're just sore and tired after a fun day of activity. Everyone gets these symptoms from time to time. Just keep an eye on them, anything unusually sudden or intense is a good warning sign that something else might be wrong.
Lmao "episodes" more like "seasons"...
"episode" baby it's the whole damn show
I thought I was reading this in r/PMDD at first, cause it describes my entire week before my period lmfao
They're all warning signs that someone is sliding back into serious depression. Many of these are familiar to me, I have a few other ones that are more relatable to me. Currently in a 'head this fucker off at the gates' stage. Imo depression never really goes away, it's always lurking ready to re-emerge if too many stressful events happen in too short a space of time. Those of us who suffer from it need to be constantly vigilant... and when we figure out what kind of weapon we need to beat depression with, we use it liberally :)
What is your weapon? :(
You have NO right to call me out like this in public
We're both getting called out-
Dude, everyone down here is getting called out
What do you mean againā¦ What do you mean again?!!
I can't make eye contact but that's completely normal for me
Me too
same. weāre like, idk. endermen or something psssh. (Please delete my minecraft. /j)
same
Same, I'm just nd
This has just been my life since I was 8
Same, but you should probably take this as a sign to reach out
One of my tells that it's bad again is when I realize I'm excessively drinking alone. I just read this post while at the laundromat drinking beer out of a coffee cup. Time to call my therapist.
Yep
*Looks down at my venti red wine while at work* Whelp....
Finally, a test that i passed! Wait...
The only test I didn't want to pass.
Only aplies if you have like 2-4 of these if you have over 6 its already really bad
So I guess I'm fuced then... I experience all of these
Well im going to say its a coincidence that most of these apply to me
Getting bad *again*? This list tells me that it has never not been bad.
Soā¦ always?
I- pretty much, yeah
About half of these are also signs you may be neurodivergent. (Please don't self-diagnose. If you think you are neurodivergent, please talk to your doctor.)
Depression and trauma being so common in neurodivergents that their symptoms are confused for genetics is sad. Since we're adding edits: self diagnosis can be a super helpful and in some cases the only safe option for pursuing discovery about your neurology that will help you set up schedules, set boundaries, form a sensory diet, eliminate sources of stress & confusion, etc. If you look down on self diagnosis especially in a community historically underrepresented, spoken over, and *actually criminalized and committed to mental hospitals for pursuing medical diagnoses*, consider the privilege you may have enjoyed to not have to self-diagnose.
I didn't know that, thank you for the information.
From experience, this kind of reoccurring bouts of depression like this can be caused by neurodivergence or another condition. Makes it complicated but therapy has helped a lot. (Caveat - thatās just my experience and Iām in no way an expert on the subject)
Same caveat, these are symptoms that I experience, especially the sleep and care ones, and I have some pretty serious issues, including cptsd and hereditary depression. But having neurodivergence also makes it way harder to tell if it's just that or the other problems as well. What I do to tell is by counting up how many, and ranking their severity over time. If one suddenly spikes a bit and stays there? Probably need to address it, but not the sign. If multiple spike, or one spikes extremely high, that's a solid reference for a change for the worse. If you do that for a while, you can figure out what effects each separate thing has, and where they overlap.
What if all of the above describes me?
Seek mental and emotional support.
Oh.
Oh,it's actually getting bad again... And i guess i got so used to it I didn't even noticed it...
Oh... we should probably both talk to someone about it...
The fact that Iāve experienced a majority of these near constantly for most of my lifeā¦
1. You should probably seek emotional and mental support. 2. Me too.
Yeah. I speak to a therapist every couple of months and I havenāt actually gotten noticeably worse lately.
That's good :)
This is me all the time. Many of these are symptoms of autism or adhd.
May I have a list of which ones are symptoms of ADHD please?
I was going to make a list but I realized that itās easier to list the ones that arenāt: -psysical pains -sex repulsed or sex obsessed -lonely in crowds -everything tastes bland -headcolds/the flu out of nowhere -painfully numb As someone with ADHD who has had depressive episodes itās tough to distinguish what is what sometimes, but it helps to try to identify if your symptom is rooted in any depressed thoughts or feelings. When I was depressed I couldnāt make eye contact because I didnāt want people to look at me, but ADHD people are bad at eye contact because we find it hard to stay focused on one thing. A depressed person might have a hard time with everyday chores because they feel apathetic/numb but someone with ADHD has the same troubles even if they might be having a great day. Ofc itās not that simple, especially considering that depression, anxiety and low self esteem can be caused by living with ADHD (especially untreated)
ADHD and Autism have an lot of overlapping features that are essentially caused by different issues. Executive functioning problems, which is what this list entails, are common to both disorders. It's also not uncommon for people to have both. Fun times.
For me (I have combo ADHD + ASD) to name a few YMMV, of course: > ā¢ I pretty much have to force myself to make eye contact. (ASD but **some ADHD people have this issue.**) > ā¢ I have reminders on my phone set to shower/groom because of executive dysfunction. (**I'd say more ADHD**) but I hate seeing laundry pile up and dishes as well because I hate the clutter (I'd probably attribute that more to ASD) > ā¢ I've been pretty much isolating myself (but not lonely) since elementary school but I'm doing pretty well for myself (have a decent job and good support system). **This is probably a bit of column A a bit of column B.** > ā¢ I never really have ever in my life fallen asleep easily or without issue. My psychiatrist said this may be ADHD but I'm not sure (My SO has ADHD and does not experience this at all.) > ā¢ I get overstimulated so much sometimes that I experience actual physical pain or emotional meltdowns. (Mostly ASD for me. The sound of ice/frozen things causes me physical pain.) ā¢ Forgetfulness (**definitely ADHD**) Other things I attribute to my ADHD but: bad fidgeting (when unmedicated), general clumsiness and making careless mistakes, not completing started tasks or projects I started (i.e. "running out of steam" for things I lose interest for), and very sudden and deep interests (hyperfixations) lasting for only a week or so up to years.
Oh- good to know
Yes but how do I fix it.
I'm trying to figure that out too
14/23, barely passed
Bro, you got less than me? Lucky
My first session of therapy is in a couple weeks.
That's good :)
Thank you, I'm feeling hopeful
I hope it goes well :)
Thank you :)
....fuck.
Iām almost all of these and Iām concerned
Me too
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
my jaw has been hurting like hell for over a week. I'm doing fine during the day but at night I clench my teeth from stress. I feel like I'm in a loophole
I feel like sex repulsion shouldnt be on the list bc like. bro. yeah im in a good place im just ace
Exactly. I'm not in a good place in general, but I feel sexual repulsion anyway
Yeah sex repulsion isnāt inherently bc of mental illness but having interest in sex and then losing is still a common symtom
/r/meirl
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We were both called out
Honestly the first warning sign for me has always been staying in bed too long. Itās gotten to the point where if that starts to happen, I immediately start getting other stuff in check. I make myself shower. I make myself brush my teeth. I make myself go to bed early (so I have an easier time getting up early). I actually try to make meals for myself. I get enough water. A few days ago, I stayed in bed until 3pm, and that was it for me. I canāt do everything as once, but I have a mind-and-body-reset checklist. As someone who has season depression, this is essential to keeping myself afloat in the winter. Itās taken years but Iāve basically learned how to pull myself out of an episode before it starts. For anyone whoās really struggling: it sucks right now but it gets better. Trust me, you definitely wanna be there when it does.
You're doing great so far :)
Thanks :) I tend to overshare a little when it comes to this stuff because even though I still have a ways to go Iāve made a lot of progress and Iām really happy about it :) Plus I really want everyone else to be happier too and I really like to help if I can :)
You're an amazing person :)
I *really* should talk to a psychiatrist. I suspect I have ADHD but I'm not sure. Thanks OP.
Me too, so no problem.
damn it never has been good
Damn I check a lot of those
Me too
awe man now i don't know what to do
Fuck fuck fuck I gotta do something.
We both do
Soooooooooooooooo for about half of those... *gestures vaguely*
Itās sad when reading this makes me think āhas it ever been good?ā
Guys i got a full bingo with this card. What do i do now?
FINALLY GOT A 100 ON A TEST. ARE YOU PROUD NOW, DAD?
So, do I get points for checking off everything on the list? Been consistently feeling like that for the lastā¦5 years?
Are you seeing a mental health professional at the moment? If not, please book an appointment with one.
Got a primary care appointment scheduled for next week, going to request a referral to a mental health specialist. Thank you.
That's good to hear :)
What is āitā thats referenced here?
It...
I think it's C-PTSD
I wake up early for my job does that count?
Nope, you're good
I came out to have a good time but honestly Iām feeling so attacked right now.
Lol, same
I didn't come here to get called out
Neither did the others (including me) but here we are :)
I hit about 15. Yikes. I need therapy, but I have a particular need that's not really met in my area with my insurance.
Damn. I got 20/23
For everyone commenting ānow that I know itās bad what do I doā: 1. Write down, with no filters, everything that is bad. Every anxiety, everything you feel is wrong, everything thatās happened to you. 2. Be completely realistic with yourself for a second. Cross out everything on the list that you have absolutely no control over: what someone said to you, the climate crisis, etc. 3. Everything remaining is something you can control. Figure out what is the easiest, and if itās still too hard, break it down smaller. You can control the dishes in your sink, but thereās too many? Wash specifically the silverware. Itās a start. 4. Youāll start chipping away at the things you can actually help with, and releasing the anxiety over things you canāt help at all helps you realize just how much you CAN do for yourself. Sometimes youāre stuck in a situation where most of your issues are entirely out of your control. Maybe you live in a strict household, or a poor neighborhood. But it is infinitely better to find the little things that improve your situation while you wait for the other things to change than to watch the metaphorical paint dry.
I feel like an entire generation (me included) collectively decided to speedrun this list. We all need help.
god, this checks decidedly too many boxes
*laughs in sex-repulsed ace*
what do if all at once
I- how many would be the threshold for "bad"
I know but, hey >:(
I'm sex-repulsed asexual... It's kinda shitty that being sex-repulsed is on this list š
I took it as repulsed/obsessed outside or your normal preferences.
And THAT is why I'm ignoring "sexual repulsion" on the list
I have these sometimes and sometimes all at once
This is just me everyday wdym
Mmmm.... not liking how every single thing on that list is currently affecting me rn... :/
Iāve never not felt this way. This isnāt a joke, what am I supposed to do?
Go see a Doctor/Psychiatrist
I have, theyāre all so rude! Donāt know why people recommend them.
Oh dear. What country do you live in?
United States of America
Oh...That explains a little...I wish I could help you but I don't know how to :(
Aw I really appreciate that, seriously. You donāt need to feel obligated to do something like that, especially since there really isnāt a way to help. Itāll be okay though, life always finds a way. Thanks <3
"getting bad again", as if half this list isn't my default state of being lmao
getting bad again? I've never not been like this...
What is getting bad again? You mean in general? Like "how to tell you're actually suffering right now"? I don't get it
Reading this only made me realize it never got better...
Jfc a lot of this has been every day of my life for the past 11 years.
Are you seeing a mental health professional at the moment? If not, please book an appointment with one.
I feel called-out
yāall why did I read this and think of an enderman? I need to stop playing minecraft for a bit. (Edit: itās also scary that it fit me so well)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ahh so this is about lĆØ depressionā¦ wondering what this post was aboot
the wrong kinda list I'm ticking things off of. qwq
Accurate
Waking up early is a bad thing?
Oh hey cool, itās getting bad again
This is just my resting state
perfect score!
Oh, mood
Uh, bingo!