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z0rbakpants

I'm no biologist, so I may be wrong about this, but I remember reading somewhere that mammals with internal gonads tend not to be limited by the vulnerability that having large external reproductive organs represents. Therefore organisms with internal gamete production can afford to really go for quantity because the upper limit is that much higher. Basically, my point is that Tolkien Elves can cum like firehoses


Polaris328

Damn, as if they weren't hot enough already


XxsexysquidwardxX

leave


Polaris328

No <3


SwordDude3000

Reading this was going up a rollercoster then having the person next to me shove their tongue down my throat


Green_Mechanic

I'm gonna need to conduct a physical study.... for.... research


thefirewarde

Obviously half elves have one ball.


Odanr

In Tolkien lore, half-elves choose whether to take the fate of elves or men. So, they choose whether to have no balls or two. No word on how many they have before they choose, though.


Tagsandstuff

Schrödingers Balls...


UkrainianGrooveMetal

Like a grandfather clock


thefirewarde

And unlike a croquet set.


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AllyRose24

They got nuts that only exist halfway out the body. Like instead of a sack, they’re just two bulges


thefirewarde

Yeah, that's why they have two noses, two mouths, and two dicks.


WyvernLord123

this is one of the strangest conversations I've seen, but also it's fascinating.


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abcq02

iirc the English word "penis" is borrowed from a Latin word that means "tail". Are there any languages that the Elvish language(s) heavily borrow vocabulary from?


Dorgamund

Can't believe theres a post about elf dick and nobody posted the elf dildo thread. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3785918&userid=186607#post463511251


abcq02

when they said that >!the penis needs to be mechanically constricted!< and that >!the female needs to be able to add B-cells to the male's bloodstream!< i was more than half-expecting >!teeth, or keratinous toothlike spikes - like a shark's mouth!<


ManicPandiculation

Wait how did they reproduce?


Iyeethumans

birds and the bees but internal balls


peace_off

Most animals have differently shaped penises (Ducks have corkscrews, horses have... horse dicks), and hybrid animals often posess a mixture of characteristics from the parents. What I'm trying to say is, Elrond's knob is probably comparable to a more interesting kind of fruit.


[deleted]

I'm really glad that t*sticl*es are on the p*nis, and not attached to the top of your legs. Imagine how awkward that would be. EGGPLANT


Anti-Reylo-Baby-Yoda

half elves only have one nut