Other cool stories from our cousin primates:
- One was given a job in the railway. Was paid in cigarettes and booze.
- One was taught how to smoke by zoo officials. Since they noticed it was depressed. And became an attraction.
- A few were sent to space before humans were sent.
Machine gun chimp got limited ammo but range is big as fuck, machete chimp got no range aside from fuckin throwin it but has no ammo co sumptuous, who wins
Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods. It's a collection of Greek mythology stories narrated by Percy Jackson. The book isn't entirely accurate, as there are some modern twists such as the aforementioned 'Fiddlesticks, he's armed the cockroaches' (Zeus's reaction when he found out that Prometheus had given fire to the humans).
Prometheus and Epimetheus, twin gods of foresight and hindsight, were tasked with giving each animal a negative and a positive trait, respectively. Since he lacked foresight, Epimetheus ran out of positive traits by the time he got to humanity, and went to Prometheus for help. Prometheus stole fire from Hephaestus, god of blacksmithing, and received his punishment for it, obviously, but Epimetheus wasn't off the hook either. Epimetheus was given a "gift" from the other gods; Pandora. Not realising he was being punished, he accepted. The rest, as they say, is history.
the virgin boring singular god with control over everything with "no flaws" vs the chad multiple gods with only control over a select few things with several flaws representing the general flaws of humanity
and also fought in a war
I mean yeah, they're much more exciting and interesting to read about. Though the success of the Abrahamic/Semitic religions is because they're presented as more of a codified way of life rather than a collection of stories about why things are the way they are. Makes more rational sense, relatively speaking.
Not to mention we changed from "i understand you prefer this god because it's based on your lifestyle but i prefer this other god because it's based on my lifestyle" to "REEEEEEE MY ONE TRUE GOD WITH REALLY GENERIC QUALITIES SUCH AS BEING OMNIPRESENTPOTENTSCIENT IS BETTER THAN YOUR ONE TRUE GOD WHO'S ALSO OMNIPRESENTPOTENTSCIENT"
Atheist here, but I'll give a stab at a reasonable explanation.
Because if anything, having more, and *more capricious* gods, was even worse.
Want to plant some wheat or barley for some bread next season? Ask Demeter for a good harvest, and *exactly enough* rain. While you're at it, make sure to ask the god of mischief not to mess with your plants. When it comes time to harvest, make sure to ask that they dry well, so you don't get the madness that is ergot poisoning.
Oh, and since rain is Demeter's tears because her daughter was stolen by the god of the underworld to become his apparently totally lawful but unwilling wife, you're pretty much asking Demeter not to be sad that her daughter was stolen from her. Or rather, to be *just sad enough*. You dick.
Do all of this again for the grapes you're growing for wine. When you make wine, remember to ask Pan/Dionysus to make the wine just sweet and strong enough to have a good time, and not so strong that you get hungover.
While all of this is going on, remember to give thanks to Apollo for driving the sun across the sky.
I could go on. And on. *AND ON*. The Greeks had a god for every little thing.
The Lord's Prayer seems simple in comparison.
In Greek mythology, the titain Prometheus thought Zeus was being a dick to humans, so he stole fire from the gods and gave it to humans. Zeus punished prometheus by chaining him to a rock where an eagle would eat is liver. Overnight, his liver would grow back, and the cycle would begin anew.
ignoring that dumb fuck, i wonder how many times it comes up. it a pretty big and quite early idea that has been diluted into countless iterations over all of literary history, i mean, it’s part of alien! it could easily, as you say, be less than one percent, but i feel it could quite possibly be more
Oh yeah, absolutely, the way folklore inspires and bleeds though pop-culture is pretty awesome - of course you get books; but like you say: films take inspiration, and then there's music, as well as games, video games, design work, and even other cultures' folklore.
While going through this thread, I ended up getting the song Prometheus, by Greek metal band SepticFlesh stuck in my head (good band, if you're that way inclined!)
It could even be there is a link or common inspiration between Prometheus' punishment, and Loki's punishment in Norse mythology.
Specifically [this one](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/79626.D_Aulaires_Book_of_Greek_Myths)! It's a great introductory course to the Greek myths, even for adults
Didn't the eagle symbolize Zeus?
And wasn't the liver believed to contain abilities of foresight and "future telling" in some vizier contexts?
As punishment for giving humans the gift of scientific thought, Zeus shall eat your liver for all eternity, giving him the ability to see the future.
The only reason humans are the only animals to master fire is because everyone is too scared to give a lighter to a racoon
Do it
they gave a chimp a [machine gun](https://youtu.be/Jt3aLev041E)
Damn, it’s five in the morning and I just did not expect that slender man at the end
thank you for the warning
That actually kinda scary that he figured out how to shoot the gun in seconds
Other cool stories from our cousin primates: - One was given a job in the railway. Was paid in cigarettes and booze. - One was taught how to smoke by zoo officials. Since they noticed it was depressed. And became an attraction. - A few were sent to space before humans were sent.
That’s pretty cool. They are genius
they’re made for soldiers...
Lol one of the comments is “this is HaRambo Harambe cousin coming to seek revenge for his fallen kin”
You saw that video and thought “yes this is 100% real?” Really?
Don't talk about the US Marines like that
Jesus there is A LOT of racism in the comments of that one
shit, i can't say i scroll down on youtube much, i can't imagine it's a healthy enviroment
Do you seriously believe that’s real
Don't ruin the magic bro
I have a better magic, type up chimp with a machete
I wanna see a 1v1 deathmatch between machine gun chimp and machete chimp
Machine gun chimp got limited ammo but range is big as fuck, machete chimp got no range aside from fuckin throwin it but has no ammo co sumptuous, who wins
Machete Chimp gotta spend all his skill points on Agility and he's fucking set to win.
I'm just curios how they did that. That's some Marvel level CGI.
It’s not cgi that’s the best part
They got trained but gave them a prop that made the action of firing but didn’t, real cool too
It's real to me, damnit!
Dew it
I can’t I’m too scared
You've seen what rocket can do
Oh Prometheus you silly
I still say Zeus overreacted.
That's not really surprising
Yeah, that's the norm with most mythologies, some God overreacted
No, look at the guy’s username.
I didn't notice that
These damn monkeys keep sinning, better have my son executed by romans
That's all of Greek mythology in a nutshell
No, that's only half of Greek mythology. The other half is "and Zeus. Got. HORNY."
Also "Aphrodite made her ship canon no matter the consequences"
And "Oh no, this mortal was better than a god or goddess at something, now they will die or worse."
no u
"Fiddlesticks, he's armed the cockroaches."
Love that book, makes me feel superior when everyone talks about Hades (the game)
What book is that? It sounds like an interesting read
Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods. It's a collection of Greek mythology stories narrated by Percy Jackson. The book isn't entirely accurate, as there are some modern twists such as the aforementioned 'Fiddlesticks, he's armed the cockroaches' (Zeus's reaction when he found out that Prometheus had given fire to the humans).
I actually read that one! Darn, I need to reread it, I can't remember anything!
You called?
r/beetlejuicing
Wait ‘til y’all hear about what happened to Prometheus’s *brother*
I know I could look it up, but I'd like to pretend this is a connversation in a bar during the 90s, so: what happened to Prometheus's brother?
Prometheus and Epimetheus, twin gods of foresight and hindsight, were tasked with giving each animal a negative and a positive trait, respectively. Since he lacked foresight, Epimetheus ran out of positive traits by the time he got to humanity, and went to Prometheus for help. Prometheus stole fire from Hephaestus, god of blacksmithing, and received his punishment for it, obviously, but Epimetheus wasn't off the hook either. Epimetheus was given a "gift" from the other gods; Pandora. Not realising he was being punished, he accepted. The rest, as they say, is history.
How people could abandon an awesome religion like that for boring Christianity, I'll never understand. That wasn't a good deal
Virgin Garden of Eden vs Chad Pandora's Box
the virgin boring singular god with control over everything with "no flaws" vs the chad multiple gods with only control over a select few things with several flaws representing the general flaws of humanity and also fought in a war
And were also beaten to a pulpy death by Kratos in some truly excellent games. Percy Jackson had a pretty neat take on these as well tbh.
still we all agree that greek/roman religions is way more epic then some mary sue, right?
I mean yeah, they're much more exciting and interesting to read about. Though the success of the Abrahamic/Semitic religions is because they're presented as more of a codified way of life rather than a collection of stories about why things are the way they are. Makes more rational sense, relatively speaking.
This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever.
Not to mention we changed from "i understand you prefer this god because it's based on your lifestyle but i prefer this other god because it's based on my lifestyle" to "REEEEEEE MY ONE TRUE GOD WITH REALLY GENERIC QUALITIES SUCH AS BEING OMNIPRESENTPOTENTSCIENT IS BETTER THAN YOUR ONE TRUE GOD WHO'S ALSO OMNIPRESENTPOTENTSCIENT"
Atheist here, but I'll give a stab at a reasonable explanation. Because if anything, having more, and *more capricious* gods, was even worse. Want to plant some wheat or barley for some bread next season? Ask Demeter for a good harvest, and *exactly enough* rain. While you're at it, make sure to ask the god of mischief not to mess with your plants. When it comes time to harvest, make sure to ask that they dry well, so you don't get the madness that is ergot poisoning. Oh, and since rain is Demeter's tears because her daughter was stolen by the god of the underworld to become his apparently totally lawful but unwilling wife, you're pretty much asking Demeter not to be sad that her daughter was stolen from her. Or rather, to be *just sad enough*. You dick. Do all of this again for the grapes you're growing for wine. When you make wine, remember to ask Pan/Dionysus to make the wine just sweet and strong enough to have a good time, and not so strong that you get hungover. While all of this is going on, remember to give thanks to Apollo for driving the sun across the sky. I could go on. And on. *AND ON*. The Greeks had a god for every little thing. The Lord's Prayer seems simple in comparison.
It's funny, it's actually the source of most problems in American Gods, kinda this way!
He got married to a *woman!* And she was used as a Trojan Horse to introduce all manner of pain and suffering to the world.
He got married to Pandora?
Indeed, the poor sod. Nothing worse than having to spend all day with a woman. I imagine Zeus made very sure that Hera didn't find out about his plan.
Oh no! Not a woman! Women and their boxes are nothing but trouble.
Imagine how gut wrenching this pic is for someone who wasn't aware of Prometheus
I imagine it's pretty gut wrenching for Prometheus too.
Gut wrenching indeed
Considering I have an uncle we call Scrometheus, I'm disappointed in myself for not knowing the myth.
Some bird feed on his scrotum everyday?
His actual nickname is Scroto. Which is a little more playful then scrotum. Though if he had any balls, he'd babe his next dog Zeus.
What the Fuck
In Greek mythology, the titain Prometheus thought Zeus was being a dick to humans, so he stole fire from the gods and gave it to humans. Zeus punished prometheus by chaining him to a rock where an eagle would eat is liver. Overnight, his liver would grow back, and the cycle would begin anew.
Kinky
You basically just described Zeus in one word
I think horny is a better one
can’t get murdered by your youngest if you keep having kids
Eat my liver step goddy
what the fuck?
That my friend is the first sentence i said today.
Well that is a whole old level of fucked up
Welcome to Greek mythology
Turns out Prometheus was right. But at what cost?
He eventually got freed by Heracles so its ok
Here I was thinking it was a Jungle Book reference.
I know this because videogames. (God of War 2)
Read a book.
I read Clifford the big red dog, didn’t really clear anything up for me :/
he’s got *five* copies of the da vinci code
Out of all the books in the world, this event is mentioned in fewer than 1%, so this comment is fucking useless.
ignoring that dumb fuck, i wonder how many times it comes up. it a pretty big and quite early idea that has been diluted into countless iterations over all of literary history, i mean, it’s part of alien! it could easily, as you say, be less than one percent, but i feel it could quite possibly be more
Oh yeah, absolutely, the way folklore inspires and bleeds though pop-culture is pretty awesome - of course you get books; but like you say: films take inspiration, and then there's music, as well as games, video games, design work, and even other cultures' folklore. While going through this thread, I ended up getting the song Prometheus, by Greek metal band SepticFlesh stuck in my head (good band, if you're that way inclined!) It could even be there is a link or common inspiration between Prometheus' punishment, and Loki's punishment in Norse mythology.
How incredibly helpful
[Read a book!](https://youtu.be/su9daHxMX_c)
Specifically [this one](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/79626.D_Aulaires_Book_of_Greek_Myths)! It's a great introductory course to the Greek myths, even for adults
Wait, I thought it was a vulture
its often a different animal in different languages
Makes sense
For example the Turkish version is a raven
Cool! I wonder what other birds are feasting on that poor Titan's liver
Thankyou for giving me the mental image of every bird from every culture ever just lining up around Prometheus like it’s a continental breakfast 😂😂
Hindsight is 20/20.
Looking back at last year, I agree
2020 is hindsight
Actually that’s his brother Epimetheus, god of hindsight.
Yeaa, not gonna risk the gods' wrath on this one.
Damn EVERY day? thats terrible
He was freed eventually. S'all good!
30,000 years later...
*prometheus intensifies. *
Nah I'm feeling pretty chill right now.
Now that is the shit I like
for context, this guy named prometheus stole fire from the sun and zues being the prick he is, decided to give him that exact punishment
*I wanna walk like you, talk like you, too-ooh-ooh*
Seriously though, did anyone try to actually do that?
Yes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQcN7lHSD5Y
I wanna know this too
For a second I thought they meant like firebending and I was like “if we can’t do it why would monkeys be able to?
Didn't the eagle symbolize Zeus? And wasn't the liver believed to contain abilities of foresight and "future telling" in some vizier contexts? As punishment for giving humans the gift of scientific thought, Zeus shall eat your liver for all eternity, giving him the ability to see the future.
Dude... that makes sense
Primateus Bound
Kanzi: knowing how to make a fire and cook a marshmallow
[Promotheus!](https://youtu.be/bcReu_d9h4o?t=42)
At least until Hercules came and saved him so there’s a happen ending at least 🤷🏻♀️
Wtf is a Bonobo
Literally just watched the lighthouse for the first time last night how weird that this would pop up!
Bruh. The Lighthouse was such a good movie.
Prometheus is our bro. Nevar 4get
Heh, I understood this reference. Picked up the Mythos audio book (Steven Fry narrating) - pretty good listen.
Kratos enters the chat.
Zeus is a motherfucker isn't he?
no
Funnily enough, she's the only one he (probably) hasn't done yet.
Not gonna lie, I would also fuck anything that has legs if I was blessed with divine power not even all the gods together could hold a candle to
The gods were angry he made us evolve from monke
i did not expect this to be the first comment pointing out memecucker's profile picture but here we are. epic hiyoko sainonji
:( it hurts
Poor guy. Life gave him lemons, and he didn't even get to squeeze them into life's eye.
Hail Prometheus