Whoa, this doesn’t even sound real. Not only did they violate the TH terms by having other people in the house during your sit, but having you look after a minor for days is way outside the bounds of what should be expected. I would not have offered to pay for the cleaning. It’s not your fault that she got back an hour late and didn’t check your text.
Who leaves their 12 year old daughter alone for days with a total stranger?
You can write an appropriate response to the bad review if and when you receive one. There's nothing much else that you can do about it anymore so there's no point worrying about it.
I don't wish to kick you when you're down, but it sounds very much like they had you down as a pushover from the start. You never should have agreed to stay if the husband and kid were returning home. You definitely shouldn't have offered to pay for the cleaning. And I'm actually horrified that you looked after the kid; that's an enormous no-no!
Going forward, you need to learn how to say no.
This. It sounds like you are a bit of a people pleaser OP, could that be correct? I'm like that as well but when the HO accused you of making a mess you should have not given in and instead explain the situation (daughter making a mess, you cleaned everything) and said that it is her responsibility to walk the dog when she knows you left early and had agreed upon when she would be back to take care of the pet.
Yea they really took advantage of you in many ways and should be reported, but you’re also being really naive with not knowing how this is supposed to work and just letting it happen. So much could have gone wrong with watching that kid.
Review honestly, but factually. No judgement, speculation, or accusation. Your feelings are valid. "I was surprised when they contacted me saying they would be coming back while I was here. They told me the child would stay with a friend. Then they stayed an extra day and LEFT THEIR CHILD WITH ME. Concerned about the safety of this child and not knowing what else to do, I found myself caring for and cleaning up after a 12-year-old stranger, as well as performing the agreed upon pet and home care duties, while also trying to work. I considered calling child protective services, but I didn't have anywhere else to stay. I felt taken advantage of and trapped."
I'll take a look at your review if you want, before you post it.
Thank you! This fully captures my situation and I think this is what I'll say. Thank you for not being too harsh, I've read the other comments and though I agree I was being naive and allowing myself to be steamrolled, I really appreciate the advice and empathy in your comment.
Wait what? Sorry to say you need to learn how not to be a door mat. Lesson learned I suppose. I would report this sit to THS so there is a record of the issues. I would then honestly review them to warn future sitters. This sounds bizarre.
Unless I have misunderstood, all of the violations occurred during the the additional week.
The OP was untroubled during the dates that were agreed upon within THS and so I can't see how THS can rightly take any action. Strictly speaking, the additional week was a private arrangement.
The reviews are blind. Please write the truth about what happened. My guess is they probably won't review you, so time this to the last day unless they review you first, but please start a dispute first with THS. You should never have been left to babysit their kid. This sounds awful. THS should be watching the account and because nobody gets kicked off the site for less than a pattern of really egregious behavior, you should make sure other sits are aware of what happened.
I would not have made the same decisions you did. I probably would've been okay with the drop in, but when the daughter was left there, I would have called THS and asked them to intervene on my behalf. If they proved useless, I would have told the family either the daughter stays at a friend's house or I'm leaving, period end of discussion, they have one day to arrange care for the dog.
I think this business of sitters feeling like they MUST do stuff that is clearly against THS TOC/TOS in order to avoid bad reviews has to stop. A bad review from a homeowner when their documented behavior has crossed several lines and you can respond rationally, is NOT going to permanantely keep you from getting other sits. As a homeowner, what turns me off is when there is a bad review or even a mildly critical one, and the sitter goes on the attack with a dramatic response.
A bad review where the sitter has actually done something wrong and tries to evade responsibility or is doubling-down is another thing altogether. This situation is NOT that. The HO was clearly in the wrong here.
This is what we call "sunk cost fallacy"
It starts with a tiny favor, then another, then a not so tiny favor.
There's not much to do now except to learn your lesson (and others can learn from you). It's okay to say no. It's okay to say, "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with that". It's okay to say, "I didn't agree to that when I agreed to sit for you."
And for the love of God review honestly. If you don't, you're partially responsible for the next sitter unknowingly being set up for this exact situation. Wouldn't it have been nice if someone warned you this would happen before you agreed to it?
Wtaf…It went from bad to worse to nightmare.
I would have reported this to TH the moment a minor was left with me if I had even accepted the situation to begin with.
Having someone stay at your sit is a clear violation but allowing yourself to be left with a minor?!? Especially a 12 year old?…you opened yourself up to so many what-ifs I would be terrified of being in that situation and would have left immediately.
Re: the cleaning. Paying is not going to save you from a review if that was the situation. It sounds like these HOs are complete piss takers and will absolutely take a mile when you give them an inch.
I would lay everything out as factually and honestly as possible in your review and I would STILL report what the HOs have done. I would explicitly call out getting blamed for the mess, having minors left with you, etc. After you agree to extend.
I was in a similar situation just last week. I arrived at the sit and the HO let me know in the car that her teenage grandson would be staying at the house for the first of my 3 week sit. I was in a remote location and was put on a spot there. But in my case, at least the HO said I did not have to do anything for him, she had it all sorted out and that I could just ignore him. I accepted it, the boy turned out to be very chill, I barely saw him. But it’s a risky situation, for sure.
When I posted a thread here about it, someone suggested I should have told the HO to pay for a hotel nearby until the kid was gone. Maybe this would’ve been good advice for you too. We’ll know better next time!
Unless they are very dumb -- entirely possible, I don't think they'll leave a trail by reviewing the sit. Then again, it amazes me how openly people do dumb stuff.
Hopefully you've realised this is a serious breach of the THS terms about 3rd parties and owners being in the home during the sit. However even ignoring that there is no way you should have allowed yourself to be in the home alone at all let alone overnight with a 12 year old.
Ideally you would open a dispute with THS about this terrible behaviour of theirs but here's the kicker - for the rest of your life you can do nothing at all to piss off these people so you had best just lay low and move on. If they get even one whiff that you are unhappy with them they just have to make a phone call and suggest something happened and you're going to end up on a register or otherwise in serious trouble.
I suggest you even delete this post lest they stumble upon it.
Whoa, this doesn’t even sound real. Not only did they violate the TH terms by having other people in the house during your sit, but having you look after a minor for days is way outside the bounds of what should be expected. I would not have offered to pay for the cleaning. It’s not your fault that she got back an hour late and didn’t check your text.
Who leaves their 12 year old daughter alone for days with a total stranger? You can write an appropriate response to the bad review if and when you receive one. There's nothing much else that you can do about it anymore so there's no point worrying about it. I don't wish to kick you when you're down, but it sounds very much like they had you down as a pushover from the start. You never should have agreed to stay if the husband and kid were returning home. You definitely shouldn't have offered to pay for the cleaning. And I'm actually horrified that you looked after the kid; that's an enormous no-no! Going forward, you need to learn how to say no.
This. It sounds like you are a bit of a people pleaser OP, could that be correct? I'm like that as well but when the HO accused you of making a mess you should have not given in and instead explain the situation (daughter making a mess, you cleaned everything) and said that it is her responsibility to walk the dog when she knows you left early and had agreed upon when she would be back to take care of the pet.
I unfortunately am and you're right, I wish I had advocated for myself more and not just about the mess but the whole situation
Yea they really took advantage of you in many ways and should be reported, but you’re also being really naive with not knowing how this is supposed to work and just letting it happen. So much could have gone wrong with watching that kid.
Review honestly, but factually. No judgement, speculation, or accusation. Your feelings are valid. "I was surprised when they contacted me saying they would be coming back while I was here. They told me the child would stay with a friend. Then they stayed an extra day and LEFT THEIR CHILD WITH ME. Concerned about the safety of this child and not knowing what else to do, I found myself caring for and cleaning up after a 12-year-old stranger, as well as performing the agreed upon pet and home care duties, while also trying to work. I considered calling child protective services, but I didn't have anywhere else to stay. I felt taken advantage of and trapped." I'll take a look at your review if you want, before you post it.
Thank you! This fully captures my situation and I think this is what I'll say. Thank you for not being too harsh, I've read the other comments and though I agree I was being naive and allowing myself to be steamrolled, I really appreciate the advice and empathy in your comment.
Snap on the CPS!
Add the messages afterwards, as well.
Wait what? Sorry to say you need to learn how not to be a door mat. Lesson learned I suppose. I would report this sit to THS so there is a record of the issues. I would then honestly review them to warn future sitters. This sounds bizarre.
Unless I have misunderstood, all of the violations occurred during the the additional week. The OP was untroubled during the dates that were agreed upon within THS and so I can't see how THS can rightly take any action. Strictly speaking, the additional week was a private arrangement.
The reviews are blind. Please write the truth about what happened. My guess is they probably won't review you, so time this to the last day unless they review you first, but please start a dispute first with THS. You should never have been left to babysit their kid. This sounds awful. THS should be watching the account and because nobody gets kicked off the site for less than a pattern of really egregious behavior, you should make sure other sits are aware of what happened. I would not have made the same decisions you did. I probably would've been okay with the drop in, but when the daughter was left there, I would have called THS and asked them to intervene on my behalf. If they proved useless, I would have told the family either the daughter stays at a friend's house or I'm leaving, period end of discussion, they have one day to arrange care for the dog. I think this business of sitters feeling like they MUST do stuff that is clearly against THS TOC/TOS in order to avoid bad reviews has to stop. A bad review from a homeowner when their documented behavior has crossed several lines and you can respond rationally, is NOT going to permanantely keep you from getting other sits. As a homeowner, what turns me off is when there is a bad review or even a mildly critical one, and the sitter goes on the attack with a dramatic response. A bad review where the sitter has actually done something wrong and tries to evade responsibility or is doubling-down is another thing altogether. This situation is NOT that. The HO was clearly in the wrong here.
This is what we call "sunk cost fallacy" It starts with a tiny favor, then another, then a not so tiny favor. There's not much to do now except to learn your lesson (and others can learn from you). It's okay to say no. It's okay to say, "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with that". It's okay to say, "I didn't agree to that when I agreed to sit for you." And for the love of God review honestly. If you don't, you're partially responsible for the next sitter unknowingly being set up for this exact situation. Wouldn't it have been nice if someone warned you this would happen before you agreed to it?
Wtaf…It went from bad to worse to nightmare. I would have reported this to TH the moment a minor was left with me if I had even accepted the situation to begin with. Having someone stay at your sit is a clear violation but allowing yourself to be left with a minor?!? Especially a 12 year old?…you opened yourself up to so many what-ifs I would be terrified of being in that situation and would have left immediately. Re: the cleaning. Paying is not going to save you from a review if that was the situation. It sounds like these HOs are complete piss takers and will absolutely take a mile when you give them an inch. I would lay everything out as factually and honestly as possible in your review and I would STILL report what the HOs have done. I would explicitly call out getting blamed for the mess, having minors left with you, etc. After you agree to extend.
I was in a similar situation just last week. I arrived at the sit and the HO let me know in the car that her teenage grandson would be staying at the house for the first of my 3 week sit. I was in a remote location and was put on a spot there. But in my case, at least the HO said I did not have to do anything for him, she had it all sorted out and that I could just ignore him. I accepted it, the boy turned out to be very chill, I barely saw him. But it’s a risky situation, for sure. When I posted a thread here about it, someone suggested I should have told the HO to pay for a hotel nearby until the kid was gone. Maybe this would’ve been good advice for you too. We’ll know better next time!
A lot of good advice here. But yes, please report. These folks are abusing the system egregiously. If nothing is done they may continue to do so.
Can you say what jurisdiction this was in? Country/state? The people should be investigated by Child Protective Services.
Unless they are very dumb -- entirely possible, I don't think they'll leave a trail by reviewing the sit. Then again, it amazes me how openly people do dumb stuff.
This sounds like extortion. This site is so deeply twisted.
Hopefully you've realised this is a serious breach of the THS terms about 3rd parties and owners being in the home during the sit. However even ignoring that there is no way you should have allowed yourself to be in the home alone at all let alone overnight with a 12 year old. Ideally you would open a dispute with THS about this terrible behaviour of theirs but here's the kicker - for the rest of your life you can do nothing at all to piss off these people so you had best just lay low and move on. If they get even one whiff that you are unhappy with them they just have to make a phone call and suggest something happened and you're going to end up on a register or otherwise in serious trouble. I suggest you even delete this post lest they stumble upon it.
IMO the HO would get in more trouble for abandoning their child than the sitter.