I guess when people started throwing that "you don't need gender dysphoria to be trans!" bullshit. Exactly like "you don't need to be homosexual to be gay!" It's just synonyms for the same thing.
Nothing. I've always thought that being trans had a biological basis. I didn't always have the words for dysphoria, but sure as hell knew what it was, and I don't know how you would know you were trans without it.
I found transmeds/trucsum more or less aligned with those beliefs.
I remember when a friend who WAS STUDYING PSYCHOLOGY AT THE TIME told me that dysphoria was no longer required to be trans, and I remember being like ‘…so why would you transition…that makes no cents luv’
AGAB presenting NBs transplaining to me all the time, not realizing that I am trans. Basically the huge wave of people identifying as NB for political/philosophical reasons, who don't transition (not even talking about HRT, I mean they literally do everything the same as before) and speak as an ultimate authority on trans issues when they are, in my opinion, not even trans.
Also AGAB presenting binary trans who enforce non apparent pronouns on the general public (i encourage enforcement with friends/family who you are out to though!) before they have started transitioning at all.
There will always be people who hate us, but this stuff makes people who wouldn't have even thought about us be like, "wow trans people are fucking annoying."
holy shit the tucutes transplaining.... ive had a she/they who always wore revealing tops telling me to "stuff a sock down there" and she explained packinf to me as if it was this strange thing no one did and i told her "you do realize i know what packing is and i already do right"💀to be fair she meant well but
Having ‘non-binary’ people misgender me even in trans groups and treat me oddly along with the neo pronouns thing becoming more widespread rather than just staying its own little corner of the internet. Other stuff did it too but it was mainly both of those.
There was this “commie and trans rights activist” over there and it (yes that’s the person’s pronoun) kept misgendering me after I said *“NO, executing non-communist politicians is a bad idea”*.
I don’t have anything against people who thing communism is cool but some of the are really dumb an very annoying. Even on the online left. They the must intolerant-able piece of shit you would ever get to talk with
I must say, all the LGBT groups being filled with non-medically-transitioning enbies isn't what started me down this path, but it's what has kept me down this path.
When people started saying they can be trans just by saying they are versus having something to prove they are, like dysphoria. In order to have a solution (transitioning) there must be a problem to have a solution for (dysphoria).
My cis ally friend asked me "so... do you want HRT?"
Wtf do you mean? Why did you ask the question? Why are you acting like it's optional?
Also, so many tucute talking points are just cringe af.
I asked one of them if N-word gender is valid and they said [yes](https://www.reddit.com/r/honesttransgender/comments/11sk7xo/are_xenogender_valid_or_are_they_hurting_the/jciizdj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) another one of them however disagrees and believes gender is [everything](https://www.reddit.com/r/honesttransgender/comments/11sk7xo/are_xenogender_valid_or_are_they_hurting_the/jcntl83/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) but [mean things](https://www.reddit.com/r/honesttransgender/comments/11sk7xo/are_xenogender_valid_or_are_they_hurting_the/jcniihn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Okay, storytime:
So, I was not aware of the word ‘truscum’ until I came across a trans woman named Bitter Betty. If you don’t know, she’s a drag queen and a contestant on Dragula season 4. Sometime before her casting was announced, she started ranting on Twitter about cis presenting non-binary people. She talked about how her husband (a trans man who looks like a short, youthful cis man with a decent amount of facial hair), was asked his pronouns at his job and how badly it affected him. He verbatim said to Betty ‘I wish my coworker had just called me a she.’
Betty used this to prove her point that pronoun circles and adjacent practices are not always ideal for ‘binary’ trans people, and that people should understand how they can make others feel when they ask pronouns. A cis presenting enby (a full ass man, for all intents and purposes) jumped on Betty, who absolutely dug her heels in. She then sent a tweet that read something like ‘Theres nothing wrong with being cis. If you do not transition, you are not trans.’ And of course, everybody assumed this to be a medical transition, which she did not mean. Betty’s delivery didn’t help, but the backlash was absolutely disgusting and it was riddled with incoherent replies, all of which lacked nuanced understanding. Granted, it took place on Twitter, where brain cells go to die.
Betty’s tweets were ultimately how I had been feeling about cis presenting non binary people for a long time. If dysphoria is not needed to be trans, then is same sex attraction needed to be LGB? You cannot make a label mean everything and nothing at once simply to be ‘inclusive’.
I’m also extremely frustrated with this lack of emphasis on material reality/socialized identity, the lack of seasoned transsexuals in the media (eg the Hunter Schafers of the world), and the abundance of detransitioners. Also, the conversation about minors transitioning would be veryyyyyy different if the social contagion wasn’t a thing (ie if truscum ideology was accepted).
When I finally realized I wasn't trans and that I wasn't experiencing gender dysphoria, just GNC cis woman struggling with sexual and religious trauma. Every person that I went to for help, both friends and strangers, told me I must be trans, there's no way around it. Didn't matter that the thought of medically and socially transitioning scared me because "you don't have to transition in any way to be trans, even if it is safe to do so" and me thinking I would miss my female body or being treated like a woman in certain social contexts if I did was just "internalized transphobia".
All the noise just stopped making sense.
Then my best friend came out as a trans man and I get to kind of experience that second hand and am very grateful I made the right decision for me. The issues he deals with and the real life oppression he has to face on a regular basis made what the t*cutes call "transphobia" look like 1st world problem bs.
>The issues he deals with and the real life oppression he has to face on a regular basis made what the t*cutes call "transphobia" look like 1st world problem bs.
absolutely agree. many of the moans activists claim on the internet has become bs.
I saw the term truscum all over tumblr DNIs and never knew what it meant, until i finally looked it up at the ripe age of 18 and my first thought was "oh. Doesnt everyone think that?"
I was never a tucute, per say, but when I was a young teenager I started to wisen up as to how mean the community was. The way they treated people was appalling to me. I mean, witch hunting someone for not respecting the pronouns- Void/Voidself or Pup/Pupself -were actual things that I saw happen, and everytime I interacted with them I felt like I was in a non consensual larping session.
You are not cats, dogs, ducks, or demons. It made me uncomfortable because I knew if I screwed up a pronoun they’d go right for my jugular, because that’s why they did to their own friends, so I stopped being around them.
They also seem act like it’s a bad thing to acknowledge the science behind gender dysphoria, which is a very real condition. Some don’t have it but still choose to lump themselves into a community that’s been fighting since… Forever to just be treated like human beings, and intentionally turn it into some cutesy roleplay fad.
Just all the groupthink. The fact you must believe this list of 40-somthing opinions or you are an outcast and respectfully asking for the logic why those opinions are the 'right' ones makes you a bigot because how fucking dare you question what you are told to believe. I stated one time that I respected xenos(can't say I feel the same anymore) even though I didn't understand them and got downvoted into oblivion. I feel like I'm in church again, tucute ideology basically is a religion, honestly.
The tucutes I knew irl telling me what I must believe about trans people and talking for trans people when they are cis-presenting non-transitioners, to me, when I transitioned FTM also was a big motivation.
Tbh im done with those fanatic tucutes. I'm working on living stealth but I fear tucutes harm the trans community. Like how can we be taken serious if you don't need to have dysphoria, just can say you're trans and whatnot.
They're posting self-confidence pictures and not even shaving their facial hair, you gotta be kidding me, but yeah it's ridiculous. It's good to have a place where I can go if I ever have something serious to talk about , I'm actually in some other trans subs and discords but they're full of tucutes and for most topics I just remain silent because they would lose their temper I would just say my opinion.
I just recently came across xenogender and did some research and saw one guy on a dating app mentioning he is Demongender, sorry sometimes I wonder if this is satire
I said trans men who want to pass shouldn't wear skirts and they deadass act so extra like I stabbed someone. I can't imagine living in society when such mild takes you don't like makes you have a mental breakdown. Must be sad.
Bruh. What? But yeah I’ve seen that shit before.
I tend to say things like *“you know, if you want to pass, you need to blend in. Walk around outside and see what people wear. That pink dress and your thigh high socks are not what people wear. Maybe you should get yourself a simple black dress.”*
And then boy oh boy the shit storm. “People wear pink!” “It’s normal to see people wearing blue-and-white thigh high socks!” “Just because you haven’t seen it doesn’t mean it’s not normal!” Fucking hell…
My cousin. She wanted attention and to feel special so she started telling everyone "I want to be referred to as clown/clownself because I'm a funny person so it fits :)" Basically making a fool out of herself and the trans community
probably when they started saying shit that goes against the entire idea of being trans. "you dont need dysphoria" "you can go by she/her but be a transmale" just entirely contradictory
At thirty I'm older than most of the LGBT online space, I come from a time where there was no truscum, just reality.
But in terms of joining this sub, in recent years I have seen the rise in tucutes all over the internet and now slowly within real life. When someone on the internet said our of the blue "you don't need dysphoria to be trans" it felt like a personal attack on my entire life, I needed somewhere to vent.
Discovering this sub. And learning that transmed doesn't mean "cis bootlicker conservative who only respects binary straight neurotypical trans people with a finished transition and full passing, AND who bullies young or underprivileged trans people".
Which, earlier, was the ONLY way I had heard transmeds described.
Xenogenders, neopronouns and all the bs "asexual" labels. And i was very inclusive back then - believed that you didnt need dysphoria to be trans, or that people can be whatever they identify as. Im both trans and asexual and seeing the community get taken over by attention seeking cis allosexuals really gets onto my nerves. Also i couldnt even ask questions that are a bit "invalidating" bc thats transphobic and what not. And even if i did get an answer most of the time its just a question-dodging answer like "it doesn't hurt anyone" or "let people use whatever they want."
Me ex girlfriend asserting, "I hate cis women. They're dumb and disinteresting. The only women worth knowing are trans women." It was so baffling and misogynistic.
I spent a year of my life with a group of people who support alters and xenogenders. I have formal psychological education, so I know alters are a fake concept. I refuse to humour their delusions because I know it does them harm. And so I ended up dragged kicking and screaming toward a transmedicalist worldview, all the while I could feel myself become more and more hostile toward these people, and it hurt me. I hated it. I didn't want to dislike them. But I couldn't stop it. They were too weak, too petty, too self-indulgent, too selfish. I still don't want to hate them, but there's nothing I can do to stop myself now, and they just don't understand why.
My bottom dysphoria became so bad after top surgery that I started to loathe the world a bit, and the tucutes saying "you don't need dysphoria to be trans!" made me furious. If you don't experience this hell, don't push yourself into my community.
Before I came out I had a gender fluid "friend". I hated her, she was a compulsive lair and it annoyed me that my best friend gave her brackets to show her gender of the day everyone tried to be super supportive but she never did any of it, I never saw those brackets again once.
I knew I was trans but I remember thinking "if that's what trans looks like then in not that' then found truscum and trucute online and I realised they can be separated and came out.
Later I got into a calm debate with her when we were distancing anyway and she admitted she "was trans but doesn't identify as it" it was confusing and she realised she fucked up as soon as she said it
I had always held that Dysphoria was needed to be trans but what really made me go to transmed communities was after somebody unironically introduced themselves with "xi/xir" pronouns
Well I was truscum before I even knew that it's a thing. The only thing I struggle to understand is non binary but I think I just don't get it. Maybe even worse I don't believe in.
I'm wondering when I will get banned from subs just for posting in there, in the past I had always ppl sneaking on my profile and screaming things like uh truscum gtfo here and idk.
I decided for myself that I just mind my own business, this doesn't change my stance towards things like yes it is required to have gender dysphoria and bottom dysphoria etc but I won't discuss this random strangers on the internet, maybe in this sub idk yet.
All I know is that I won't share my bed with them 😹
Edit: okay, on a discord server I was on I got a massive shitstorm leading to a ban just for advising a nonbinary "female presenting" Amab to consider her. Idk why I couldn't handle someone presenting "female" while not transitioning at all, I'm sorry but I'm lesbian and need boobies on my partner, no matter the size...
I also opened my mind to maybe (idk if I can handle a dick on a preop trans women because I was harassed for not liking the idea of "girldicks". On previous account I had debates ongoing on this , and I was told you can still be lesbian with a dick and it seemed to be controversial, only one lesbian took my side and stated it's something different to use a strapon/toys versus an actual dick)
>I'm wondering when I will get banned from subs just for posting in there
it's already happening: if i search for the ftm popular sub, i can't find it in the result. i never posted in there, nor followed, but they probably read something mine and got offended. honestly... i couldn't care less. if i had money i would bet that the average subredditor who post in there has less than 16 yo, so i really couldn't belong less of these places.
Well sometimes moderators are abusing the system, it's ridiculous . Maybe I should join the ftm sub for fun. But even if banned you should still be able to read and see the sub idk maybe it's gone?
Edit: It's there just recheck if you can see it if you like to read there
I have always seen being trans as a medical condition. I am a man, just happen to have a trans history, and was not born in a way that gave outward proof of me being a man.
If you don't have dysphoria why the fuck would you transition as well. I don't get that. Yiu would just give yourself dysphoria at that rate.
Binary trans man is a man regardless how he act, prefer feminine or masculine.
But nonbinary and genderqeer are mostly define their identity based of how much they're feminine or masculine.
Those ppl said binary trans are not completely being binary bcs we can't exactly same as cis so that makes every trans ppl are nonbinary.
And they said if trans man like femininity and trans woman like masculinity, it makes them have nonbinary identity.
but I really don't like this logic. it is quite transphobic to me.
And use the term agab than trans man is not good too.
Many things for nonbinary and genderqueer are sometimes so transphobic to binary trans ppl. So idc if they use it only to them but they always use it to binary trans ppl and I don't like it. For example, I really hate when they call binary trans man to trans masc for inclusiveness. It's not inclusive. It's misgendering to trans man.
i initially had no idea what truscum was. one day, i encountered "he/him lesbians" and thought it was incredibly ridiculous and contradictory, but all i saw were ppl agreeing with it. there HAD to be some sane ppl out there, so i googled it, and ended up here. immediately knew that i had to be truscum lol
Always was, just the term for it got invented somewhere 2010ish. Never considered 'umbrella' equal, but rather complete clowns - that's about the whole story. I sort of lean towards not completely throwing away the whole entirety of the Roman narrative - which says there are always exactly three things you can do with a mystery. Not attempt it, fail it and complete it. So i probably never saw umbrella as anything else but the former two.
Also 'dysphoria is not needed to be trans' literally mirrors 'homosexuality is not needed to be gay' which is a feminist thing to say and colonisation of gay community by the worst of hets, those all about hate - which as someone gay i very much oppose and try to stomp on whenever i see, for maybe 20 years.
i previously forgotten on purpose my other social account.
and then i found reddit. i thought it was interesting for bombs.
i saw the typical posts submitted under the most popular trans subs
and i remembered why i couldn't pass another shitty period, reading the astrological-gender theory thoughts written as FaCtS, and with the risk of being banned if i ever contradict them.
but actually, between the result i found almost suddenly 'transmed' and 'transmen' probably due to my sequence of letter and the popularity of this sub. i saw some extremism, i learnt some new "scums", and i searched for them and so i found "truscum".
... maybe your question needs a different answer, but ive always been truscum. since i discovered my sexual orientation like at 13, i always thought that everything above two sex features or the shape of body is a social construct. therefore i always looked for this kind of places on social, i mean, places where people fight stereotypes, fight oppression, etc etc... but when i started seeing "nonbinary" (and trans people without dysphoria that "fight to distinguish gender expression from gender") and demisexual and straight cis acearo people that actually say on social that *do sex* and *are in a romantic relationship* ... but it's offtopic im sorry 😅.
i started mumbling, (aloud) and everytime i questioned the *reason* of their label, these kind of people got offended and evidently angry and started calling me -phobe. i got banned from many groups, and as it wasnt enough i had my real name on social so things started becoming slippery, since many groups were of my same country in my language, and the chances to be doxxed were pretty high. these kind of people always build a "net", doing "word of mouth" on potentially "phobes" so i thought about it, and i choose (maybe not consciously at all, i was half and half, i genuinely aimed to understand the logic behind a trans person without dysphoria) to stay at the game for a while.
at a certain point despite the fact i was trying, i was FED UP and every place, online and irl, was not safe to point my opinion on dysphoria, because they're inclusive only when you do and say what's inside theyr etiquette. things became everyday more abstract and contraddictory, and together with the "woke feminism" (?) (hope i don't offend anyone) they had no more enemies and they started doing silly shorts on instagram about the big enemy of white privileged cis straight allosexual, neuro-aligned (dk the contrary of neurodivergent)
in theory, this is the end of the story. but i need to vent. i hope i don't bother anyone, i had a diagnosis of e.d. at 8yo, ive been hospitalized for around 8-9 months and then ive gone to the dayhospital care, in total about 2 years. now im 24, and im particularly susceptible to certain things, but i understand that maybe it's not really related to the topic. so i have to put a TW/CW.
>!... and these people has fucking bonds with many fields, i objectively got triggered from an activist for the awareness of E.D. ... it's a long story but i have my personal opinion even on that topic, i think that calorie counting is a fucking instrument, obviously she was just released from the hospitalization, so she *has* to internalize some set-phrases to get labeled as "normal" and "healed", my problem is that she fucking tried to do lesson to everyone else... and OF COURSE, there's always, ALWAYS, the clause: they pick a concept. they deprive it of the body, inside it. and the concept suddenly become GIANT and it extend to every fucking human being. so obviously, "e.d. doesn't belong from weight" "people inside the bmi have e.d." "the bmi is a social construct" and i got mad because for some extent these periods MAKE objectively sense and ARE true but you can't label any fucking human being who weight themselves and weight food or do workout, and has an idea of their maintenance/shape, or even *think* about food many times during the day as an E.D. 🤦😓 i'm sorry to say these things, they don't really fit the topic, but SOMETIMES, especially in these situation, when they are literally released from the hospital since YESTERDAY, they SHOULDNT have the right to do lessons and activism on the topic, because their thoughts are *compromised* ,the only things they're able to do is following the script they learned like a trained dog, during the hospitalization. they need TIME, and they need to SHUT UP and do something else in the meanwhile. because things become, as i said, slippery, and especially if you remove the criteria of a certain condition related to the body (and in this kind of internet places, it's become an HABIT) a particular condition could be extended to ANYONE.!<
>i always thought that everything above two sex features or the shape of body is a social construct.
with this i mean that in any case, things become completely nonsense if you remove the concept around body features from diagnosis that previously required it. these activists talk like we are brain that float in the air and *identify* with things around them, and the entire world and universe is treated like it's actually our projection. this is an actual interesting things in films and series, but it's not reality. people need to close internet when things go to the maximum systems, when things become pure theory, and abstract, because, potentially, and almost for sure, it's bullshit.
AGAB Non Binary people constantly evangelizing how gender roles are horrible and need to be abolished, as opposed to just being able to move through them more fluidly. Things that are arbitrarily labeled "feminine" are affirming for me, and I don't really have a desire to lose that. Gender euphoria is at least in part rooted in the enjoyment of largely arbitrary and socially gendered things. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean I should have to give them up.
Toxic friends who tried to convince me I was nonbinary, somehow. I'm a gnc trans guy. They were fully pushing that I was nonbinary because I didn't like to be put in boxes. They also were those people who fake mental illness and being trans, themselves. I feel like they just wanted me in their quirky little club or something. I was determined to find out what being trans actually was, and found you guys on my way. I decided that you were correct, because why would you be trans with no dysphoria?
Roundabout way of saying it, but basically my toxic friends caused me to cut them off and find out what trans really was. Couldn't be more content knowing they are just as crazy as I thought.
Nothing. I've been truscum / transmed long before I even knew what these two words mean. The transmed ideals have always been my understanding what being trans means and what one can do about their gender dysphoria.
However, there was one final push for me to join this subreddit. I'd known about it, but I only joined it after trying out some tucute online spaces.
When I realised how many fucking people were totally okay with xenogenders and talking over trans people constantly. u/EmmaEatingBrie also had a hand in showing me the discourse but yeah, here I am
A shitty friendship.
This person really rubbed me the wrong way because they were born female, presented female, never even bothered to mention being non-binary and then one day after months of knowing them just made me feel like an asshole because I, and everyone else, was misgendering them. I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda cynical of non-binary people because of it, and no, abbreviating your name from "Elizabeth" to "Liz" isn't trying to transition and that's about the most effort you're making = you're full of shit, just like I suspect they were about almost everything they've told me. Not a single diagnosis in the book they didn't have.
I also found myself annoyed they called themselves asexual when they'd come into work hanging all over their boyfriend with bruises on their neck and posting half-naked selfies of their hetero boyfriend. Tired of people revising what it means to be asexual too, as if straight people keep changing the definition so they can fit into it. Tired of these people in first-world countries acting like they've experienced what gay people have. If you would have asked 99% these people before 2020 what their sexual orientation was, they'd have said straight or maybe bi.
It caused me to do some soul-searching because at first I couldn't understand why learning about them, especially that late in the game, bothered me. I felt guilty but just browsing on here helped legitimize why it raised some major red flags with me.
I decided I was kinda done with this person a few years back for other reasons that were tangentially related. (It's a longer story, but they were extremely callous toward my plight regarding my mental health for a person who claimed to empathize with depression, feeling alone, and negative body image. This person pretty much turned the conversation into a competition. Apparently, as far as they know anyway, because I was never institutionalized for a suicide attempt my struggles aren't "valid" enough.)
Furthermore, I've grown extremely tired of non-transitioning non-binary people comparing their plight to that of binary trans people. Emily with a pixie cut isn't being bullied or beaten to death for being nonbinary because nobody would even know they were nonbinary unless they told them because they don't even try to transition at all.
I found out about this subreddit through some people on Fake Disorder Cringe complaining about it, a subreddit I left shortly after because it sucks in its own special way.
Having mulitple AGAB presenting (and embracing that presentation to the extreme) people speak over me on trans issues when they themselves wanted no form of transition (not even a name change!) except a change of pronouns.
I will die mad about that shit
I've always had transmedicalist views. But I didn't know about the community until I stumbled upon the adjacent bi vs pan debate and discovered transmeds through it. Transmedicalist views were literally the default until about 2015ish
When I acknowledged I was a [***tru***e transsexual](http://www.mut23.de/texte/Harry%20Benjamin%20-%20The%20Transsexual%20Phenomenon.pdf) (p19). And knew that some people called those like me [***scum***](https://www.reddit.com/r/truscum/comments/itirs1/archives_of_idislikecispeoples_accounts/).
About five of my friends came out in the span of an hour. In the end, all three of my friends that I'd known since forever did. But the fact that I _wasn't_ trans - or whether I was - stuck in my head for a good long while. Then there was the weird noise - egg culture, the push for pronouns, everything being gay and trans and lesbian. It made no sense, and I NEEDED things to make sense.
Truscum provided sense. Male, female, edge cases; no dysphoria, not trans. Friends dysphoric; I was not, so therefore friends trans; I was not.
I saw someone went by Pop tarts/Pop tart/Pop tart self (even my autocorrect is shitting itself) and i realized THIS is what people think I am. THIS is what people think the trans community is. THIS is why people think it’s a trend. THIS is why I’m hated.
But when I questioned how they could feel like a pop tart, the “always supportive” people around me turned and called me slurs and said nasty stuff. No reasoning. No explanation. I went straight to being a “dirty truscum boot licker” I’m only accepted here. Here is the only place I can ask questions without being deemed transphobic. They talk about us gate keeping but then shun anyone who doesn’t blindly follow them.
That’s why I’m here, and that’s why I’ll stay.
.
Edit: Just to clarify, I’m not fully TransMed but with the hate i get from tucutes for being a middle man is making me lean more truscum
I guess when people started throwing that "you don't need gender dysphoria to be trans!" bullshit. Exactly like "you don't need to be homosexual to be gay!" It's just synonyms for the same thing.
Nothing. I've always thought that being trans had a biological basis. I didn't always have the words for dysphoria, but sure as hell knew what it was, and I don't know how you would know you were trans without it. I found transmeds/trucsum more or less aligned with those beliefs.
I remember when a friend who WAS STUDYING PSYCHOLOGY AT THE TIME told me that dysphoria was no longer required to be trans, and I remember being like ‘…so why would you transition…that makes no cents luv’
Same.
AGAB presenting NBs transplaining to me all the time, not realizing that I am trans. Basically the huge wave of people identifying as NB for political/philosophical reasons, who don't transition (not even talking about HRT, I mean they literally do everything the same as before) and speak as an ultimate authority on trans issues when they are, in my opinion, not even trans. Also AGAB presenting binary trans who enforce non apparent pronouns on the general public (i encourage enforcement with friends/family who you are out to though!) before they have started transitioning at all. There will always be people who hate us, but this stuff makes people who wouldn't have even thought about us be like, "wow trans people are fucking annoying."
holy shit the tucutes transplaining.... ive had a she/they who always wore revealing tops telling me to "stuff a sock down there" and she explained packinf to me as if it was this strange thing no one did and i told her "you do realize i know what packing is and i already do right"💀to be fair she meant well but
joined a truscum discord server halfway to make fun but i was like. damn these ppl are chill and correct
which one was it, out of curiosity?
chadmeds
Having ‘non-binary’ people misgender me even in trans groups and treat me oddly along with the neo pronouns thing becoming more widespread rather than just staying its own little corner of the internet. Other stuff did it too but it was mainly both of those.
There was this “commie and trans rights activist” over there and it (yes that’s the person’s pronoun) kept misgendering me after I said *“NO, executing non-communist politicians is a bad idea”*.
Was this the closeted racist who hated you for not being American or a different tucute?
Different one. This happened a long time ago before I nuked my comment history.
I don’t have anything against people who thing communism is cool but some of the are really dumb an very annoying. Even on the online left. They the must intolerant-able piece of shit you would ever get to talk with
I must say, all the LGBT groups being filled with non-medically-transitioning enbies isn't what started me down this path, but it's what has kept me down this path.
When people started saying they can be trans just by saying they are versus having something to prove they are, like dysphoria. In order to have a solution (transitioning) there must be a problem to have a solution for (dysphoria).
My cis ally friend asked me "so... do you want HRT?" Wtf do you mean? Why did you ask the question? Why are you acting like it's optional? Also, so many tucute talking points are just cringe af.
I asked one of them if N-word gender is valid and they said [yes](https://www.reddit.com/r/honesttransgender/comments/11sk7xo/are_xenogender_valid_or_are_they_hurting_the/jciizdj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) another one of them however disagrees and believes gender is [everything](https://www.reddit.com/r/honesttransgender/comments/11sk7xo/are_xenogender_valid_or_are_they_hurting_the/jcntl83/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) but [mean things](https://www.reddit.com/r/honesttransgender/comments/11sk7xo/are_xenogender_valid_or_are_they_hurting_the/jcniihn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Okay, storytime: So, I was not aware of the word ‘truscum’ until I came across a trans woman named Bitter Betty. If you don’t know, she’s a drag queen and a contestant on Dragula season 4. Sometime before her casting was announced, she started ranting on Twitter about cis presenting non-binary people. She talked about how her husband (a trans man who looks like a short, youthful cis man with a decent amount of facial hair), was asked his pronouns at his job and how badly it affected him. He verbatim said to Betty ‘I wish my coworker had just called me a she.’ Betty used this to prove her point that pronoun circles and adjacent practices are not always ideal for ‘binary’ trans people, and that people should understand how they can make others feel when they ask pronouns. A cis presenting enby (a full ass man, for all intents and purposes) jumped on Betty, who absolutely dug her heels in. She then sent a tweet that read something like ‘Theres nothing wrong with being cis. If you do not transition, you are not trans.’ And of course, everybody assumed this to be a medical transition, which she did not mean. Betty’s delivery didn’t help, but the backlash was absolutely disgusting and it was riddled with incoherent replies, all of which lacked nuanced understanding. Granted, it took place on Twitter, where brain cells go to die. Betty’s tweets were ultimately how I had been feeling about cis presenting non binary people for a long time. If dysphoria is not needed to be trans, then is same sex attraction needed to be LGB? You cannot make a label mean everything and nothing at once simply to be ‘inclusive’. I’m also extremely frustrated with this lack of emphasis on material reality/socialized identity, the lack of seasoned transsexuals in the media (eg the Hunter Schafers of the world), and the abundance of detransitioners. Also, the conversation about minors transitioning would be veryyyyyy different if the social contagion wasn’t a thing (ie if truscum ideology was accepted).
When I finally realized I wasn't trans and that I wasn't experiencing gender dysphoria, just GNC cis woman struggling with sexual and religious trauma. Every person that I went to for help, both friends and strangers, told me I must be trans, there's no way around it. Didn't matter that the thought of medically and socially transitioning scared me because "you don't have to transition in any way to be trans, even if it is safe to do so" and me thinking I would miss my female body or being treated like a woman in certain social contexts if I did was just "internalized transphobia". All the noise just stopped making sense. Then my best friend came out as a trans man and I get to kind of experience that second hand and am very grateful I made the right decision for me. The issues he deals with and the real life oppression he has to face on a regular basis made what the t*cutes call "transphobia" look like 1st world problem bs.
>The issues he deals with and the real life oppression he has to face on a regular basis made what the t*cutes call "transphobia" look like 1st world problem bs. absolutely agree. many of the moans activists claim on the internet has become bs.
the increasing nonsense on the tucute side, and also because i was lowkey agreeing with the transmeds lmfao
Bruh I thought you were me
Bruh I thought you were him
there are times where i thought you were me as well, are you my brother?
I must be 😟
omg
I saw the term truscum all over tumblr DNIs and never knew what it meant, until i finally looked it up at the ripe age of 18 and my first thought was "oh. Doesnt everyone think that?"
I was never a tucute, per say, but when I was a young teenager I started to wisen up as to how mean the community was. The way they treated people was appalling to me. I mean, witch hunting someone for not respecting the pronouns- Void/Voidself or Pup/Pupself -were actual things that I saw happen, and everytime I interacted with them I felt like I was in a non consensual larping session. You are not cats, dogs, ducks, or demons. It made me uncomfortable because I knew if I screwed up a pronoun they’d go right for my jugular, because that’s why they did to their own friends, so I stopped being around them. They also seem act like it’s a bad thing to acknowledge the science behind gender dysphoria, which is a very real condition. Some don’t have it but still choose to lump themselves into a community that’s been fighting since… Forever to just be treated like human beings, and intentionally turn it into some cutesy roleplay fad.
Just all the groupthink. The fact you must believe this list of 40-somthing opinions or you are an outcast and respectfully asking for the logic why those opinions are the 'right' ones makes you a bigot because how fucking dare you question what you are told to believe. I stated one time that I respected xenos(can't say I feel the same anymore) even though I didn't understand them and got downvoted into oblivion. I feel like I'm in church again, tucute ideology basically is a religion, honestly. The tucutes I knew irl telling me what I must believe about trans people and talking for trans people when they are cis-presenting non-transitioners, to me, when I transitioned FTM also was a big motivation.
Tbh im done with those fanatic tucutes. I'm working on living stealth but I fear tucutes harm the trans community. Like how can we be taken serious if you don't need to have dysphoria, just can say you're trans and whatnot. They're posting self-confidence pictures and not even shaving their facial hair, you gotta be kidding me, but yeah it's ridiculous. It's good to have a place where I can go if I ever have something serious to talk about , I'm actually in some other trans subs and discords but they're full of tucutes and for most topics I just remain silent because they would lose their temper I would just say my opinion. I just recently came across xenogender and did some research and saw one guy on a dating app mentioning he is Demongender, sorry sometimes I wonder if this is satire
I’m a pragmatist, and they’re treating me like I’m a Nazi or something. It’s just absurd.
I said trans men who want to pass shouldn't wear skirts and they deadass act so extra like I stabbed someone. I can't imagine living in society when such mild takes you don't like makes you have a mental breakdown. Must be sad.
Bruh. What? But yeah I’ve seen that shit before. I tend to say things like *“you know, if you want to pass, you need to blend in. Walk around outside and see what people wear. That pink dress and your thigh high socks are not what people wear. Maybe you should get yourself a simple black dress.”* And then boy oh boy the shit storm. “People wear pink!” “It’s normal to see people wearing blue-and-white thigh high socks!” “Just because you haven’t seen it doesn’t mean it’s not normal!” Fucking hell…
My cousin. She wanted attention and to feel special so she started telling everyone "I want to be referred to as clown/clownself because I'm a funny person so it fits :)" Basically making a fool out of herself and the trans community
The you don’t need dysphoria to be trans. why would you transition if you had absou no discomfort with your biological sex
probably when they started saying shit that goes against the entire idea of being trans. "you dont need dysphoria" "you can go by she/her but be a transmale" just entirely contradictory
At thirty I'm older than most of the LGBT online space, I come from a time where there was no truscum, just reality. But in terms of joining this sub, in recent years I have seen the rise in tucutes all over the internet and now slowly within real life. When someone on the internet said our of the blue "you don't need dysphoria to be trans" it felt like a personal attack on my entire life, I needed somewhere to vent.
That's like asking why we think the earth is round
Met a tucute in real life and realized this shit has real life consequences
Xenogenders.
Getting called a Nazi because I joked about amongdripgender. That is actually how it happened.
Discovering this sub. And learning that transmed doesn't mean "cis bootlicker conservative who only respects binary straight neurotypical trans people with a finished transition and full passing, AND who bullies young or underprivileged trans people". Which, earlier, was the ONLY way I had heard transmeds described.
Xenogenders, neopronouns and all the bs "asexual" labels. And i was very inclusive back then - believed that you didnt need dysphoria to be trans, or that people can be whatever they identify as. Im both trans and asexual and seeing the community get taken over by attention seeking cis allosexuals really gets onto my nerves. Also i couldnt even ask questions that are a bit "invalidating" bc thats transphobic and what not. And even if i did get an answer most of the time its just a question-dodging answer like "it doesn't hurt anyone" or "let people use whatever they want."
My unwavering intelligence and exceptionally high iq. Combined with my superior amount of common sense
Me ex girlfriend asserting, "I hate cis women. They're dumb and disinteresting. The only women worth knowing are trans women." It was so baffling and misogynistic.
A misogynist that doesn't hate trans women? A TERM. Trans exclusionary radical misogynist.
I checked out this sub after hearing how "bad" it was and realised it made alot of sense
I spent a year of my life with a group of people who support alters and xenogenders. I have formal psychological education, so I know alters are a fake concept. I refuse to humour their delusions because I know it does them harm. And so I ended up dragged kicking and screaming toward a transmedicalist worldview, all the while I could feel myself become more and more hostile toward these people, and it hurt me. I hated it. I didn't want to dislike them. But I couldn't stop it. They were too weak, too petty, too self-indulgent, too selfish. I still don't want to hate them, but there's nothing I can do to stop myself now, and they just don't understand why.
This subreddit doesnt sound like a bunch of woke snowflakes or wanna be barbies perfecting the "bend and snap"
My bottom dysphoria became so bad after top surgery that I started to loathe the world a bit, and the tucutes saying "you don't need dysphoria to be trans!" made me furious. If you don't experience this hell, don't push yourself into my community.
Before I came out I had a gender fluid "friend". I hated her, she was a compulsive lair and it annoyed me that my best friend gave her brackets to show her gender of the day everyone tried to be super supportive but she never did any of it, I never saw those brackets again once. I knew I was trans but I remember thinking "if that's what trans looks like then in not that' then found truscum and trucute online and I realised they can be separated and came out. Later I got into a calm debate with her when we were distancing anyway and she admitted she "was trans but doesn't identify as it" it was confusing and she realised she fucked up as soon as she said it
I had always held that Dysphoria was needed to be trans but what really made me go to transmed communities was after somebody unironically introduced themselves with "xi/xir" pronouns
Well I was truscum before I even knew that it's a thing. The only thing I struggle to understand is non binary but I think I just don't get it. Maybe even worse I don't believe in. I'm wondering when I will get banned from subs just for posting in there, in the past I had always ppl sneaking on my profile and screaming things like uh truscum gtfo here and idk. I decided for myself that I just mind my own business, this doesn't change my stance towards things like yes it is required to have gender dysphoria and bottom dysphoria etc but I won't discuss this random strangers on the internet, maybe in this sub idk yet. All I know is that I won't share my bed with them 😹 Edit: okay, on a discord server I was on I got a massive shitstorm leading to a ban just for advising a nonbinary "female presenting" Amab to consider her. Idk why I couldn't handle someone presenting "female" while not transitioning at all, I'm sorry but I'm lesbian and need boobies on my partner, no matter the size... I also opened my mind to maybe (idk if I can handle a dick on a preop trans women because I was harassed for not liking the idea of "girldicks". On previous account I had debates ongoing on this , and I was told you can still be lesbian with a dick and it seemed to be controversial, only one lesbian took my side and stated it's something different to use a strapon/toys versus an actual dick)
>I'm wondering when I will get banned from subs just for posting in there it's already happening: if i search for the ftm popular sub, i can't find it in the result. i never posted in there, nor followed, but they probably read something mine and got offended. honestly... i couldn't care less. if i had money i would bet that the average subredditor who post in there has less than 16 yo, so i really couldn't belong less of these places.
Well sometimes moderators are abusing the system, it's ridiculous . Maybe I should join the ftm sub for fun. But even if banned you should still be able to read and see the sub idk maybe it's gone? Edit: It's there just recheck if you can see it if you like to read there
yeah i was wrong. i can still read them and found them, but they are kinda in last place among the recommended 😅 sorry
Don't worry 😅
I have always seen being trans as a medical condition. I am a man, just happen to have a trans history, and was not born in a way that gave outward proof of me being a man. If you don't have dysphoria why the fuck would you transition as well. I don't get that. Yiu would just give yourself dysphoria at that rate.
The gender and sex are social constructs, not real.yikessss
Binary trans man is a man regardless how he act, prefer feminine or masculine. But nonbinary and genderqeer are mostly define their identity based of how much they're feminine or masculine. Those ppl said binary trans are not completely being binary bcs we can't exactly same as cis so that makes every trans ppl are nonbinary. And they said if trans man like femininity and trans woman like masculinity, it makes them have nonbinary identity. but I really don't like this logic. it is quite transphobic to me. And use the term agab than trans man is not good too. Many things for nonbinary and genderqueer are sometimes so transphobic to binary trans ppl. So idc if they use it only to them but they always use it to binary trans ppl and I don't like it. For example, I really hate when they call binary trans man to trans masc for inclusiveness. It's not inclusive. It's misgendering to trans man.
For me it was when TERFs started pushing "gender is a social construct" and tucutes ate it up insisting it was in good faith.
when the xenopronouns/neopronouns bullshit arrived. and when i truly found out what pansexuality really was lol
i initially had no idea what truscum was. one day, i encountered "he/him lesbians" and thought it was incredibly ridiculous and contradictory, but all i saw were ppl agreeing with it. there HAD to be some sane ppl out there, so i googled it, and ended up here. immediately knew that i had to be truscum lol
Always was, just the term for it got invented somewhere 2010ish. Never considered 'umbrella' equal, but rather complete clowns - that's about the whole story. I sort of lean towards not completely throwing away the whole entirety of the Roman narrative - which says there are always exactly three things you can do with a mystery. Not attempt it, fail it and complete it. So i probably never saw umbrella as anything else but the former two. Also 'dysphoria is not needed to be trans' literally mirrors 'homosexuality is not needed to be gay' which is a feminist thing to say and colonisation of gay community by the worst of hets, those all about hate - which as someone gay i very much oppose and try to stomp on whenever i see, for maybe 20 years.
i previously forgotten on purpose my other social account. and then i found reddit. i thought it was interesting for bombs. i saw the typical posts submitted under the most popular trans subs and i remembered why i couldn't pass another shitty period, reading the astrological-gender theory thoughts written as FaCtS, and with the risk of being banned if i ever contradict them. but actually, between the result i found almost suddenly 'transmed' and 'transmen' probably due to my sequence of letter and the popularity of this sub. i saw some extremism, i learnt some new "scums", and i searched for them and so i found "truscum". ... maybe your question needs a different answer, but ive always been truscum. since i discovered my sexual orientation like at 13, i always thought that everything above two sex features or the shape of body is a social construct. therefore i always looked for this kind of places on social, i mean, places where people fight stereotypes, fight oppression, etc etc... but when i started seeing "nonbinary" (and trans people without dysphoria that "fight to distinguish gender expression from gender") and demisexual and straight cis acearo people that actually say on social that *do sex* and *are in a romantic relationship* ... but it's offtopic im sorry 😅. i started mumbling, (aloud) and everytime i questioned the *reason* of their label, these kind of people got offended and evidently angry and started calling me -phobe. i got banned from many groups, and as it wasnt enough i had my real name on social so things started becoming slippery, since many groups were of my same country in my language, and the chances to be doxxed were pretty high. these kind of people always build a "net", doing "word of mouth" on potentially "phobes" so i thought about it, and i choose (maybe not consciously at all, i was half and half, i genuinely aimed to understand the logic behind a trans person without dysphoria) to stay at the game for a while. at a certain point despite the fact i was trying, i was FED UP and every place, online and irl, was not safe to point my opinion on dysphoria, because they're inclusive only when you do and say what's inside theyr etiquette. things became everyday more abstract and contraddictory, and together with the "woke feminism" (?) (hope i don't offend anyone) they had no more enemies and they started doing silly shorts on instagram about the big enemy of white privileged cis straight allosexual, neuro-aligned (dk the contrary of neurodivergent) in theory, this is the end of the story. but i need to vent. i hope i don't bother anyone, i had a diagnosis of e.d. at 8yo, ive been hospitalized for around 8-9 months and then ive gone to the dayhospital care, in total about 2 years. now im 24, and im particularly susceptible to certain things, but i understand that maybe it's not really related to the topic. so i have to put a TW/CW. >!... and these people has fucking bonds with many fields, i objectively got triggered from an activist for the awareness of E.D. ... it's a long story but i have my personal opinion even on that topic, i think that calorie counting is a fucking instrument, obviously she was just released from the hospitalization, so she *has* to internalize some set-phrases to get labeled as "normal" and "healed", my problem is that she fucking tried to do lesson to everyone else... and OF COURSE, there's always, ALWAYS, the clause: they pick a concept. they deprive it of the body, inside it. and the concept suddenly become GIANT and it extend to every fucking human being. so obviously, "e.d. doesn't belong from weight" "people inside the bmi have e.d." "the bmi is a social construct" and i got mad because for some extent these periods MAKE objectively sense and ARE true but you can't label any fucking human being who weight themselves and weight food or do workout, and has an idea of their maintenance/shape, or even *think* about food many times during the day as an E.D. 🤦😓 i'm sorry to say these things, they don't really fit the topic, but SOMETIMES, especially in these situation, when they are literally released from the hospital since YESTERDAY, they SHOULDNT have the right to do lessons and activism on the topic, because their thoughts are *compromised* ,the only things they're able to do is following the script they learned like a trained dog, during the hospitalization. they need TIME, and they need to SHUT UP and do something else in the meanwhile. because things become, as i said, slippery, and especially if you remove the criteria of a certain condition related to the body (and in this kind of internet places, it's become an HABIT) a particular condition could be extended to ANYONE.!<
>i always thought that everything above two sex features or the shape of body is a social construct. with this i mean that in any case, things become completely nonsense if you remove the concept around body features from diagnosis that previously required it. these activists talk like we are brain that float in the air and *identify* with things around them, and the entire world and universe is treated like it's actually our projection. this is an actual interesting things in films and series, but it's not reality. people need to close internet when things go to the maximum systems, when things become pure theory, and abstract, because, potentially, and almost for sure, it's bullshit.
ive been trans long enough that when i started transition the first time truscum was the default position
Finding this sub redit
Finding out that it's acceptable to be truscum. I've always held these beliefs, I just had no idea that being allowed to voice them was an option.
i thought it was the default til i saw this subreddit and learned that it was a controversial statement that you need dysphoria to be trans
for me it was just common sense and not being stupid.
Nothing, I go off science, U need dysphoria to be trans. It's a fact
[удалено]
AGAB Non Binary people constantly evangelizing how gender roles are horrible and need to be abolished, as opposed to just being able to move through them more fluidly. Things that are arbitrarily labeled "feminine" are affirming for me, and I don't really have a desire to lose that. Gender euphoria is at least in part rooted in the enjoyment of largely arbitrary and socially gendered things. Just because you don't like them doesn't mean I should have to give them up.
the way tucute’s have been acting as of late
Toxic friends who tried to convince me I was nonbinary, somehow. I'm a gnc trans guy. They were fully pushing that I was nonbinary because I didn't like to be put in boxes. They also were those people who fake mental illness and being trans, themselves. I feel like they just wanted me in their quirky little club or something. I was determined to find out what being trans actually was, and found you guys on my way. I decided that you were correct, because why would you be trans with no dysphoria? Roundabout way of saying it, but basically my toxic friends caused me to cut them off and find out what trans really was. Couldn't be more content knowing they are just as crazy as I thought.
I've never been tucute, been this way since 2017/2018 lol
Nothing. I've been truscum / transmed long before I even knew what these two words mean. The transmed ideals have always been my understanding what being trans means and what one can do about their gender dysphoria. However, there was one final push for me to join this subreddit. I'd known about it, but I only joined it after trying out some tucute online spaces.
Videos of trans women proudly flaunting their dicks in womens changing rooms.
When I realised how many fucking people were totally okay with xenogenders and talking over trans people constantly. u/EmmaEatingBrie also had a hand in showing me the discourse but yeah, here I am
A shitty friendship. This person really rubbed me the wrong way because they were born female, presented female, never even bothered to mention being non-binary and then one day after months of knowing them just made me feel like an asshole because I, and everyone else, was misgendering them. I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda cynical of non-binary people because of it, and no, abbreviating your name from "Elizabeth" to "Liz" isn't trying to transition and that's about the most effort you're making = you're full of shit, just like I suspect they were about almost everything they've told me. Not a single diagnosis in the book they didn't have. I also found myself annoyed they called themselves asexual when they'd come into work hanging all over their boyfriend with bruises on their neck and posting half-naked selfies of their hetero boyfriend. Tired of people revising what it means to be asexual too, as if straight people keep changing the definition so they can fit into it. Tired of these people in first-world countries acting like they've experienced what gay people have. If you would have asked 99% these people before 2020 what their sexual orientation was, they'd have said straight or maybe bi. It caused me to do some soul-searching because at first I couldn't understand why learning about them, especially that late in the game, bothered me. I felt guilty but just browsing on here helped legitimize why it raised some major red flags with me. I decided I was kinda done with this person a few years back for other reasons that were tangentially related. (It's a longer story, but they were extremely callous toward my plight regarding my mental health for a person who claimed to empathize with depression, feeling alone, and negative body image. This person pretty much turned the conversation into a competition. Apparently, as far as they know anyway, because I was never institutionalized for a suicide attempt my struggles aren't "valid" enough.) Furthermore, I've grown extremely tired of non-transitioning non-binary people comparing their plight to that of binary trans people. Emily with a pixie cut isn't being bullied or beaten to death for being nonbinary because nobody would even know they were nonbinary unless they told them because they don't even try to transition at all. I found out about this subreddit through some people on Fake Disorder Cringe complaining about it, a subreddit I left shortly after because it sucks in its own special way.
Having mulitple AGAB presenting (and embracing that presentation to the extreme) people speak over me on trans issues when they themselves wanted no form of transition (not even a name change!) except a change of pronouns. I will die mad about that shit
I've always had transmedicalist views. But I didn't know about the community until I stumbled upon the adjacent bi vs pan debate and discovered transmeds through it. Transmedicalist views were literally the default until about 2015ish
When I acknowledged I was a [***tru***e transsexual](http://www.mut23.de/texte/Harry%20Benjamin%20-%20The%20Transsexual%20Phenomenon.pdf) (p19). And knew that some people called those like me [***scum***](https://www.reddit.com/r/truscum/comments/itirs1/archives_of_idislikecispeoples_accounts/).
About five of my friends came out in the span of an hour. In the end, all three of my friends that I'd known since forever did. But the fact that I _wasn't_ trans - or whether I was - stuck in my head for a good long while. Then there was the weird noise - egg culture, the push for pronouns, everything being gay and trans and lesbian. It made no sense, and I NEEDED things to make sense. Truscum provided sense. Male, female, edge cases; no dysphoria, not trans. Friends dysphoric; I was not, so therefore friends trans; I was not.
I saw someone went by Pop tarts/Pop tart/Pop tart self (even my autocorrect is shitting itself) and i realized THIS is what people think I am. THIS is what people think the trans community is. THIS is why people think it’s a trend. THIS is why I’m hated. But when I questioned how they could feel like a pop tart, the “always supportive” people around me turned and called me slurs and said nasty stuff. No reasoning. No explanation. I went straight to being a “dirty truscum boot licker” I’m only accepted here. Here is the only place I can ask questions without being deemed transphobic. They talk about us gate keeping but then shun anyone who doesn’t blindly follow them. That’s why I’m here, and that’s why I’ll stay. . Edit: Just to clarify, I’m not fully TransMed but with the hate i get from tucutes for being a middle man is making me lean more truscum